1
00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:05,099
Hey, guys. Here we go.
I'm ordering it.

2
00:00:05,101 --> 00:00:06,734
Drop the bluff, Dee.

3
00:00:06,736 --> 00:00:08,403
No one believes
you're in an actual movie.

4
00:00:08,405 --> 00:00:10,204
You guys are gonna feel
hella stupid when you see me

5
00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:12,240
acting in a feature film.
"Hella." Are we
saying "hella" now?

6
00:00:12,242 --> 00:00:13,775
'Cause I like it.
No, we're not saying
"hella," okay?

7
00:00:13,777 --> 00:00:15,877
No.
Nobody's saying
"hella" anymore.

8
00:00:15,879 --> 00:00:17,779
I never really got to say it.
"Hella" came and went.
Me, neither.

9
00:00:17,781 --> 00:00:19,380
Dee, can we watch
something else?

10
00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:21,449
Can we watch, like,
a superhero movie or something?

11
00:00:21,451 --> 00:00:23,384
This is such a waste of our...

12
00:00:23,386 --> 00:00:25,954
Oh, that's a nice opening shot.
Symmetrical vista.

13
00:00:25,956 --> 00:00:27,355
It's beautiful.

14
00:00:27,357 --> 00:00:29,624
Directed by
Pedro Vyes. Who's he?

15
00:00:29,626 --> 00:00:31,459
He's, like, this foreign
art house director.

16
00:00:31,461 --> 00:00:34,362
Oh. Ooh...
Foreign director.
Very impressive.

17
00:00:34,364 --> 00:00:35,730
Okay, you guys, be quiet.
This is my scene.

18
00:00:35,732 --> 00:00:37,732
Pretty early for a whiskey.

19
00:00:37,734 --> 00:00:39,734
Or pretty late.

20
00:00:39,736 --> 00:00:41,736
Why don't you make it
a double.

21
00:00:41,738 --> 00:00:44,939
Oh, yeah? A little hair
of the dog that bit you?

22
00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:46,708
(chuckles)
Yeah, Dee,

23
00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:48,309
I got to hand it to you.
Y-You've been talking

24
00:00:48,311 --> 00:00:52,146
about doing this for years,
and... Is that Richard Grieco?

25
00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:55,950
Hi.

26
00:00:55,952 --> 00:00:57,986
Aw, Grieco. I love that
guy. Where's he been?

27
00:00:57,988 --> 00:01:00,221
Richard Grieco
is in an art house movie?

28
00:01:00,223 --> 00:01:02,924
That seems odd.
That's a little strange.
Yeah, it's a little stra...

29
00:01:02,926 --> 00:01:05,159
But, you know, they-they always
got to get some kind of a name

30
00:01:05,161 --> 00:01:07,929
in order to finance the mo...
Oh, now he's being blown.
Right.

31
00:01:11,401 --> 00:01:13,401
Okay. Now-now this makes sense.

32
00:01:13,403 --> 00:01:15,970
So, Dee,
you clearly made a porn.
This is a porno!

33
00:01:15,972 --> 00:01:18,106
What? No? It's not
a porn. You guys,

34
00:01:18,108 --> 00:01:21,109
the-the foreigners, they have
a much more evolved view of sex.

35
00:01:21,111 --> 00:01:22,410
This is... this is art.

36
00:01:25,649 --> 00:01:27,281
Dee, what channel
did you order this from?

37
00:01:27,283 --> 00:01:28,149
Cinemax.

38
00:01:28,151 --> 00:01:29,584
Cinemax?

39
00:01:29,586 --> 00:01:31,819
Cinemax doesn't
make art.

40
00:01:31,821 --> 00:01:35,256
You guys, Pedro is-is
an edgy, foreign director.

41
00:01:35,258 --> 00:01:36,324
Where's he from?

42
00:01:36,326 --> 00:01:38,259
Puerto Rico.
Oh!

43
00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:39,460
Puerto Rico?
Puerto Rico?
Puerto Rico!

44
00:01:39,462 --> 00:01:41,162
Oh, man...

45
00:01:41,164 --> 00:01:43,965
Dee, you made a Skinemax flick
with a Puerto Rican pervert.

46
00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:46,267
Congratulations. Good thing
you got us all together.

47
00:01:46,269 --> 00:01:48,770
Listen, hey, I did
not make a smut film.

48
00:01:48,772 --> 00:01:50,505
Gobble that cock.

49
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:18,399
Now, why is Grieco
resorting to Skinemax?

50
00:02:18,401 --> 00:02:20,068
He's got a great career.
He's doing fine.

51
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:21,502
Actually, it makes sense.
I mean,

52
00:02:21,504 --> 00:02:23,404
erotic films
are very, very in right now.

53
00:02:23,406 --> 00:02:25,239
I mean, Grieco probably didn't
realize he was doing a porn.

54
00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:26,574
I think he thought
he was doing the next

55
00:02:26,576 --> 00:02:28,009
Fifty Shades
of Grey or whatever.

56
00:02:28,011 --> 00:02:29,010
I mean, it's a...
it's a fine line

57
00:02:29,012 --> 00:02:30,411
these days between art and smut.

58
00:02:30,413 --> 00:02:31,713
It really is.
Art's a tricky thing.

59
00:02:31,715 --> 00:02:33,815
The whole art world
is bullshit nowadays.

60
00:02:33,817 --> 00:02:36,217
I mean, like, anything can be
considered art. I'll bet you

61
00:02:36,219 --> 00:02:38,986
Charlie's doodlings could be
considered art by some people.

62
00:02:38,988 --> 00:02:42,423
Well, that's 'cause my drawings
are art.

63
00:02:42,425 --> 00:02:44,759
You're not an artist, dude.
You're drawing with chalk.

64
00:02:44,761 --> 00:02:47,028
No, I'm drawing with marker
and, like, pen and stuff.

65
00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:48,262
I'm just eating the chalk.

66
00:02:48,264 --> 00:02:49,697
Charlie, don't eat chalk.

67
00:02:49,699 --> 00:02:50,698
Well, it settles my stomach.

68
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:51,833
My stomach's a little...

69
00:02:51,835 --> 00:02:53,201
If your stomach hurts,
eat a Tums.

70
00:02:53,203 --> 00:02:54,869
What's the difference?
One is chalk!

71
00:02:54,871 --> 00:02:56,104
Well, I don't like
wasting Tums.

72
00:02:56,106 --> 00:02:57,772
Tums is very good
to draw with.

73
00:02:57,774 --> 00:02:59,240
This maniac
is an artist?

74
00:02:59,242 --> 00:03:00,742
I'll bet you
if I hung one

75
00:03:00,744 --> 00:03:02,009
of Charlie's doodles
in a modern art gallery,

76
00:03:02,011 --> 00:03:03,244
people would not know
the difference.

77
00:03:03,246 --> 00:03:05,012
Mm. No. No, I disagree.

78
00:03:05,014 --> 00:03:07,248
No, art has to come
from a more meaningful place.

79
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:08,883
It can't just be silly nonsense.

80
00:03:08,885 --> 00:03:10,184
I mean,
take my erotic memoirs,

81
00:03:10,186 --> 00:03:12,186
for example.
(chuckles)

82
00:03:12,188 --> 00:03:14,722
Now, that was art.
That was smut.

83
00:03:14,724 --> 00:03:16,624
No, dude, what I do is art.
And you know what else?

84
00:03:16,626 --> 00:03:18,793
I think I should film it.
Yeah.

85
00:03:18,795 --> 00:03:21,629
I mean, guys, I'd be a fool not
to ride this erotic tidal wave

86
00:03:21,631 --> 00:03:23,464
our culture seems to be on,
film it,

87
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,967
do the next Fifty Shades
of Grey, my style, you know?

88
00:03:25,969 --> 00:03:28,069
My film would be real,
it would be tasteful,

89
00:03:28,071 --> 00:03:29,704
it would be...
it would be subtle.

90
00:03:29,706 --> 00:03:31,472
It wouldn't be some goddamn
Puerto Rican smut.

91
00:03:31,474 --> 00:03:34,609
I'm down to try this, like,
art gallery idea of yours.

92
00:03:34,611 --> 00:03:36,711
What do you think
Grieco would do?

93
00:03:36,713 --> 00:03:38,646
He wouldn't eat
chalk.

94
00:03:45,989 --> 00:03:48,489
Yes, but I just don't understand
why you're choosing

95
00:03:48,491 --> 00:03:50,291
to dress like
Richard Grieco.

96
00:03:50,293 --> 00:03:52,593
Well, because he's a cool bro
and I'm a cool bro.

97
00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:54,662
I just want to do a Grieco
thing. I'm vibing with it.

98
00:03:54,664 --> 00:03:56,597
I'm vibing with it, man.
Stop saying that you're vibing
and "bro."

99
00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:58,266
You know what, why don't you go
mingle, and Frank and I

100
00:03:58,268 --> 00:03:59,934
will handle this.
Thank you.
All right, you do it.

101
00:03:59,936 --> 00:04:01,936
All right, Frank.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Leave him alone.

102
00:04:01,938 --> 00:04:03,771
Look, here's a spot.
Here's a spot.
What?

103
00:04:03,773 --> 00:04:06,073
Yeah.
Just keep... keep an eye out.

104
00:04:08,178 --> 00:04:09,677
Okay.

105
00:04:09,679 --> 00:04:11,412
That's good. That's good.
Mmm.

106
00:04:11,414 --> 00:04:13,414
(quietly:)
Oh, yeah. Looks perfect.

107
00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:15,983
Oh, wow. I like this one.
Oh.

108
00:04:15,985 --> 00:04:18,920
That's art. That's art.
I like that piece.
Yes, that's...

109
00:04:24,194 --> 00:04:26,093
She's going for it.

110
00:04:26,095 --> 00:04:28,796
She loves it.

111
00:04:28,798 --> 00:04:31,599
She loves it.
She's going for it.

112
00:04:31,601 --> 00:04:33,668
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the hell are you doing?
Whoa. Hey, lady. Lady.

113
00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:35,603
You can't throw
art in the trash.

114
00:04:35,605 --> 00:04:37,705
Oh, that wasn't art.
It was garbage.

115
00:04:37,707 --> 00:04:39,640
Wait, wait, wait a second.
Wait a second.

116
00:04:39,642 --> 00:04:41,642
I mean, how-how is that art

117
00:04:41,644 --> 00:04:43,945
and this is trash?
I mean, who's to say, really?

118
00:04:43,947 --> 00:04:46,214
Well, I'm to say.
It's my gallery. (chuckles)

119
00:04:46,216 --> 00:04:47,882
Okay. Then please explain to me

120
00:04:47,884 --> 00:04:49,217
how that is art

121
00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:50,618
and this is garbage.

122
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,620
Well, it's all about context.

123
00:04:52,622 --> 00:04:55,623
The story behind each piece
is part of what endows it

124
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,658
with meaning.
For example, this artist

125
00:04:57,660 --> 00:04:59,527
worked for
30 years

126
00:04:59,529 --> 00:05:01,863
before finally finding
his voice.

127
00:05:01,865 --> 00:05:04,298
He left his home
when he was a boy

128
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:07,735
to escape the Nazis,
fled to Paris,

129
00:05:07,737 --> 00:05:10,738
and painted the poor children
he saw in the streets.

130
00:05:13,209 --> 00:05:16,244
(man shouting in German)
The ambiguity he
uses to paint children

131
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:20,181
and animals.
(dog barking, monkey screeching)

132
00:05:20,183 --> 00:05:22,316
His work
provokes.

133
00:05:22,318 --> 00:05:24,652
It raises
questions.

134
00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:26,020
Are we children?
(children chattering)

135
00:05:26,022 --> 00:05:28,022
Are we animals?

136
00:05:28,024 --> 00:05:32,894
(all sounds overlapping)
Are children animals?

137
00:05:42,338 --> 00:05:44,071
If it's context

138
00:05:44,073 --> 00:05:46,073
you want... Context. Okay.

139
00:05:46,075 --> 00:05:49,844
Well, the artist that did this,
his life is, like, total shit.

140
00:05:49,846 --> 00:05:52,046
I mean, like, way worse
than this Nazi painter.

141
00:05:52,048 --> 00:05:54,048
Oh. Hey, Charlie?

142
00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:56,050
Yeah, uh... What-what
are you doing, man?

143
00:05:56,052 --> 00:05:58,753
What's up, bro?
Hey, uh,

144
00:05:58,755 --> 00:06:01,589
this is Charlie. He's the,
uh... he's the artist.

145
00:06:01,591 --> 00:06:04,258
C-Could you tell the lady
how your... Don't do that.

146
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,894
Okay, can you just explain to
her how your life is garbage

147
00:06:06,896 --> 00:06:08,896
so that she...
It's not sw...
Oh, my life's pretty sweet, bro.

148
00:06:08,898 --> 00:06:10,798
Hang out at a bar all day
with my bros.

149
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,234
You know? Go on lots of
adventures. I'm really kind of

150
00:06:13,236 --> 00:06:15,269
a sweet businessman
when I think about it.

151
00:06:15,271 --> 00:06:19,040
He's an illiterate janitor whose
mother tried to abort him in...

152
00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:22,043
Frank, Frank,
tell her, please.
Huh?

153
00:06:22,045 --> 00:06:23,144
What is it?

154
00:06:23,146 --> 00:06:25,479
What-what is it?

155
00:06:25,481 --> 00:06:27,982
It's-it's what we discussed.
It's what we've been discussing.
Oh.

156
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:30,418
Tell her that Charlie's life
is a piece of shit. Please.

157
00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,420
Thank you.
I've got one
of those hella sweet lives...

158
00:06:32,422 --> 00:06:33,654
Stop saying "hella"!
He doesn't...

159
00:06:33,656 --> 00:06:35,089
he doesn't normally
say "hella."

160
00:06:35,091 --> 00:06:36,757
I don't know where
he picked this up.

161
00:06:36,759 --> 00:06:39,293
I'm sorry.
I'm just not interested.
Okay,

162
00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:40,728
well, wait, wait,
we just need to take one...
I'm not interested, either.

163
00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:42,330
I go for more
of the Pam Anderson type,

164
00:06:42,332 --> 00:06:44,398
you know what I mean?
Oh, my God. Okay, look...

165
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,468
I'm not interested.
Goddamn it.
Why did I even bring you two?

166
00:06:49,605 --> 00:06:53,074
"A man enters.

167
00:06:53,076 --> 00:06:56,777
"The room wouldn't be the
only thing he'd enter that day.

168
00:06:56,779 --> 00:06:59,647
His name was Dennis."

169
00:06:59,649 --> 00:07:01,582
I'm-I'm sorry—
what is happening?

170
00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:02,750
"Silence."
Okay.

171
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:04,752
"He said. 'A woman's mouth

172
00:07:04,754 --> 00:07:06,587
"'is not for the exiting
of words

173
00:07:06,589 --> 00:07:10,391
"but for the entrance
of a man's... dick.'

174
00:07:11,661 --> 00:07:14,161
"And then he did
put it in there.

175
00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:16,197
In her mouth, I mean."

176
00:07:16,199 --> 00:07:17,832
Okay.

177
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:20,601
And then they-they have sex
all over the library.

178
00:07:21,938 --> 00:07:23,804
Okay, I, uh,

179
00:07:23,806 --> 00:07:25,706
I-I'm sorry, I don't know
what's happening here.

180
00:07:25,708 --> 00:07:27,375
You must think
I'm somebody else.

181
00:07:27,377 --> 00:07:29,677
Look, look. Sure, I could
leave here right now,

182
00:07:29,679 --> 00:07:32,013
I could take this to Frank
and he would finance it.

183
00:07:32,015 --> 00:07:33,614
But he's gross, you know?

184
00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:35,983
He's basically, like,
the Cinemax of humans.

185
00:07:35,985 --> 00:07:38,486
Okay, I think I'm catching up
here. So you want to make a film

186
00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:40,488
based on the pornographic book
you're reading from.

187
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:44,058
Look... this is my
Fifty Shades of Grey, lady.

188
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,660
All right? Was the guy
who wrote that gross?

189
00:07:46,662 --> 00:07:47,928
It was written by a woman.

190
00:07:49,332 --> 00:07:51,065
Na... You... no, I know.

191
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:52,700
That it was written by a woman.

192
00:07:52,702 --> 00:07:54,368
Everybody knows that.

193
00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:56,237
Yeah, but that's why you needed
to let me get to the...

194
00:07:56,239 --> 00:07:58,672
This was also written
by a woman. Yeah.

195
00:07:58,674 --> 00:08:01,475
Writ-Written and to be
directed by...

196
00:08:01,477 --> 00:08:03,277
my sister.

197
00:08:04,647 --> 00:08:06,647
What do you think?

198
00:08:08,918 --> 00:08:10,751
Hey, Dee.
(door closes)

199
00:08:10,753 --> 00:08:13,087
Dee, you're not doing
anything that matters, right?

200
00:08:13,089 --> 00:08:15,089
You know, I think I'm
finally figuring out

201
00:08:15,091 --> 00:08:17,758
this editing software, and I
have to say I put together

202
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,027
a pretty prime-time
acting reel here.

203
00:08:20,029 --> 00:08:22,163
I doubt it.
Don't show it to me. I don't...

204
00:08:27,703 --> 00:08:29,236
Pretty early for a whiskey.

205
00:08:29,238 --> 00:08:31,439
A little hair of the dog
that bit you?

206
00:08:31,441 --> 00:08:33,207
Using a multi-tiered distribu...

207
00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:34,275
Multi-level marketi...

208
00:08:34,277 --> 00:08:35,509
The Invigaron system.

209
00:08:36,779 --> 00:08:39,046
Brains.

210
00:08:41,184 --> 00:08:42,616
It I...

211
00:08:42,618 --> 00:08:43,784
it's missing something,
isn't it?

212
00:08:43,786 --> 00:08:45,252
Nah, it's great.

213
00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:46,520
Uh, Dee,
you know what I think

214
00:08:46,522 --> 00:08:47,788
the real problem, though,

215
00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,457
with the acting business is?
Uh-huh?

216
00:08:49,459 --> 00:08:51,759
Every actor these days
is a multi-hyphenate.

217
00:08:51,761 --> 00:08:53,094
They're doing everything—
they're writing,

218
00:08:53,096 --> 00:08:54,462
they're directing,
you know.

219
00:08:54,464 --> 00:08:56,730
Mm.
So here's a thought I just had.

220
00:08:56,732 --> 00:08:59,033
How would you like to, um,

221
00:08:59,035 --> 00:09:01,068
direct my erotic memoirs?

222
00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:02,703
I've always wanted to direct.

223
00:09:02,705 --> 00:09:03,938
And you want me to do it?

224
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:05,306
Yeah, yeah.
Smart.

225
00:09:05,308 --> 00:09:07,608
Smart. You bring
a female perspective in.

226
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,643
Mm-hmm.
It's a very interesting
layer. I like that.

227
00:09:09,645 --> 00:09:11,445
Yeah, it's-it's a good layer.
That's really smart of you.

228
00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:12,913
Yeah, I'll do that.
I'll do that for you.

229
00:09:12,915 --> 00:09:14,615
Okay, so, um... great.

230
00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:16,951
So you'll do that,
and, um...
Yeah, yeah.

231
00:09:16,953 --> 00:09:20,554
now we just need a star that we
can attach on-on short notice.

232
00:09:20,556 --> 00:09:23,691
Don't worry, I got... I got
an idea. I got a lot of ideas.

233
00:09:36,005 --> 00:09:38,005
All right, what about
this one? You know,

234
00:09:38,007 --> 00:09:41,675
I had a dream about, um,
you know, boiled eggs.

235
00:09:41,677 --> 00:09:45,479
So, I, uh...
Okay. What do the...
what do the eggs represent?

236
00:09:45,481 --> 00:09:47,982
Eggs, you know? Like,
uh... from a chicken.

237
00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:50,918
Just eggs? No.
Charlie, you're not getting it.

238
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,654
I need you to draw something
that's profound, you know?

239
00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:55,589
That comes from someplace deep.

240
00:09:55,591 --> 00:09:58,325
But is also childlike
and stupid, to prove my point.

241
00:09:58,327 --> 00:10:00,461
Hey, bro, uh, maybe stop telling
me what to do all the time,

242
00:10:00,463 --> 00:10:02,796
you know? 'Cause if you tell
me what to do, then, like,

243
00:10:02,798 --> 00:10:04,632
you know, that's, like,
I got, like, a lame,

244
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:06,000
kind of square dude telling me

245
00:10:06,002 --> 00:10:07,635
what to do, you
know? And that's

246
00:10:07,637 --> 00:10:09,436
not really where
art comes from.
Okay, you...

247
00:10:09,438 --> 00:10:11,639
And so I'm gonna draw eggs
that represent eggs, bro.

248
00:10:11,641 --> 00:10:13,541
And it's gonna... it's
gonna be hella cool, man.

249
00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:14,975
You're gonna
like these eggs.

250
00:10:14,977 --> 00:10:16,010
Can I ask you a question?
Do you... do you

251
00:10:16,012 --> 00:10:17,311
want to sell this art or not?

252
00:10:17,313 --> 00:10:18,612
Bro, is this about
making money for you

253
00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:20,114
or is it about
proving your point?

254
00:10:20,116 --> 00:10:21,715
Like, I don't even
know what it is, man.

255
00:10:21,717 --> 00:10:22,950
It's becoming about both
for me. I don't know

256
00:10:22,952 --> 00:10:23,951
what it's becoming for you.

257
00:10:23,953 --> 00:10:25,019
Come on, man.

258
00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:26,453
I'm ripping this up.

259
00:10:26,455 --> 00:10:27,521
I'm ripping this up.
That's it.

260
00:10:27,523 --> 00:10:28,522
Bro, stop ripping up
my art, man!

261
00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:30,457
Get in there!
Okay.

262
00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:32,393
You stink!
Ugh.

263
00:10:32,395 --> 00:10:34,995
I found him turning tricks
in the scrap metal yard.

264
00:10:34,997 --> 00:10:37,031
Good news, Charlie. We're
gonna use Cricket now.

265
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:40,167
Oh. Use me how?
Use what part of me?

266
00:10:40,169 --> 00:10:43,003
Relax. You are gonna be
the face of Charlie's art.

267
00:10:43,005 --> 00:10:44,838
What? Why, man?

268
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,540
Because he's got, like,
the worst life imaginable,

269
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,342
and that's clearly
what those people want.

270
00:10:48,344 --> 00:10:50,211
That's true, I do have
the worst life.
(chuckles)

271
00:10:50,213 --> 00:10:51,545
You know what, Cricks, why
don't you come over here,

272
00:10:51,547 --> 00:10:53,581
why don't you tell Charlie
what to draw.

273
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,316
Okay.
Tell me wh... I don't
want to draw his drawings.

274
00:10:55,318 --> 00:10:57,318
No, Charlie,
this is gonna work, all right?

275
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,253
Just jump on board,
jump on board. Okay, go ahead.

276
00:10:59,255 --> 00:11:01,522
All right, bro... bro.

277
00:11:01,524 --> 00:11:03,891
Oh, all right, fine.

278
00:11:03,893 --> 00:11:06,560
Talk to me, brother.

279
00:11:06,562 --> 00:11:07,795
What's up?

280
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:10,564
What is he doing?

281
00:11:10,566 --> 00:11:12,099
He's doing, like,
a Grieco thing.

282
00:11:12,101 --> 00:11:13,367
Okay. Uh, all right.

283
00:11:13,369 --> 00:11:15,035
Well, what do you
want to hear about?

284
00:11:15,037 --> 00:11:16,770
You want to hear
about a... dog orgy

285
00:11:16,772 --> 00:11:18,439
or when a cat bit off my toe?

286
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:19,573
Dog orgy, brother.

287
00:11:19,575 --> 00:11:20,674
Dog orgy. Okay.

288
00:11:20,676 --> 00:11:22,109
This is going great.

289
00:11:22,111 --> 00:11:23,844
Okay, now, Frank, I need you

290
00:11:23,846 --> 00:11:25,946
to go talk to that gallery
owner. Convince her to come

291
00:11:25,948 --> 00:11:28,215
to Paddy's for an art opening
that we're gonna have here.

292
00:11:28,217 --> 00:11:30,251
Oh.
You know? Flash
a little cash.

293
00:11:30,253 --> 00:11:33,087
Pretend you're, like,
a high-society art type.

294
00:11:33,089 --> 00:11:36,257
Oh, I got this. I-I used to hang
with an art crowd in the '70s.

295
00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:38,192
I know these people.

296
00:11:38,194 --> 00:11:42,029
O-Okay. All right. But-but...
play it subtle, all right?

297
00:11:42,031 --> 00:11:43,864
Subtle. Yeah.

298
00:11:43,866 --> 00:11:47,201
Frank. Play it subtle.

299
00:11:47,203 --> 00:11:49,770
(whispers):
Subtle.

300
00:11:49,772 --> 00:11:52,873
Hello!
Hello?

301
00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:55,943
Ango Gablogian,
the art collector.

302
00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:57,911
Charmed, I'm sure.

303
00:11:57,913 --> 00:12:00,447
Yes.
I'm gonna invite you to a show.

304
00:12:00,449 --> 00:12:02,082
Okay.
But first...

305
00:12:02,084 --> 00:12:04,818
allow me to destroy
your gallery.
Oh.

306
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:06,387
Bullshit.

307
00:12:07,423 --> 00:12:09,290
Bullshit.

308
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:11,792
Derivative.

309
00:12:11,794 --> 00:12:14,461
That... I love.

310
00:12:14,463 --> 00:12:17,431
I absolutely love.

311
00:12:17,433 --> 00:12:20,267
Um, that's just
the air conditioner.

312
00:12:20,269 --> 00:12:21,769
I want it.

313
00:12:21,771 --> 00:12:23,270
It's everything.

314
00:12:23,272 --> 00:12:25,172
I mean, look at us.

315
00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:27,841
We're just air conditioners.
I mean, after all,

316
00:12:27,843 --> 00:12:30,844
we're just walking around
on the planet, breathing,

317
00:12:30,846 --> 00:12:32,913
conditioning the air.
Right.

318
00:12:32,915 --> 00:12:35,182
I condition it hot,

319
00:12:35,184 --> 00:12:37,351
that conditions it cold.

320
00:12:37,353 --> 00:12:39,687
I mean, it's symbiotic, no?

321
00:12:39,689 --> 00:12:41,922
No, it is.
I mean, we're just
the air conditioners

322
00:12:41,924 --> 00:12:43,457
walking around
on this planet,

323
00:12:43,459 --> 00:12:45,659
screwing each
other's brains out.

324
00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:48,295
So true. I never
thought of it like that.

325
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:54,368
Oh... hello, you.

326
00:13:02,178 --> 00:13:03,677
This room won't be
the only thing

327
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:05,145
that I'll be entering today.

328
00:13:05,147 --> 00:13:06,613
Hey, teach.
Cut!

329
00:13:06,615 --> 00:13:10,551
A woman's mouth is not
for exiting of words,

330
00:13:10,553 --> 00:13:13,387
but for the entrance
of a man's penis.

331
00:13:13,389 --> 00:13:15,689
Cut!
Grieco, Grieco,
Grieco, come on, man.

332
00:13:15,691 --> 00:13:17,825
Shoot her tits. I need some...
I need a couple... Just...

333
00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:20,494
Get mostly tits on this
one. Lots of emotion.

334
00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:23,030
And I want to feel
a little bit of, uh,

335
00:13:23,032 --> 00:13:26,900
of sadness coming from
your tits. And, action.

336
00:13:26,902 --> 00:13:29,236
A woman's mouth...
Cut!

337
00:13:29,238 --> 00:13:32,172
"Not for the exiting of words,
it's for the entrance..."

338
00:13:32,174 --> 00:13:33,807
Dee, can you
just let him...
Is there really...

339
00:13:33,809 --> 00:13:35,509
is there really a frigging
difference between "exiting"

340
00:13:35,511 --> 00:13:37,845
and "entering"?
Hey! Excuse me, every...
You know what?

341
00:13:37,847 --> 00:13:39,847
Is there a difference between
"exiting" and "entering"?

342
00:13:39,849 --> 00:13:42,483
I know there is, but is there...
but words exit.

343
00:13:42,485 --> 00:13:45,052
Okay, okay, you know what?
I-I need a seaweed break.

344
00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:46,920
Grieco, you've had 15
packages of seaweed today.

345
00:13:46,922 --> 00:13:48,322
Guys, Richard needs
a seaweed five.

346
00:13:48,324 --> 00:13:49,723
Another...?
Oh, goddamn it!

347
00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:51,158
Can we just get
the scene, please?

348
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,393
Just like it was
in high school?

349
00:13:52,395 --> 00:13:53,827
You know, about that.

350
00:13:53,829 --> 00:13:55,362
What exactly happened
in high school?

351
00:13:55,364 --> 00:13:57,364
'Cause it sounds like
you had sex with a teacher.

352
00:13:57,366 --> 00:13:58,832
Uh, well, no, she
wasn't a teacher.

353
00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:00,234
She was a hot
young librarian.

354
00:14:00,236 --> 00:14:01,902
Are you talking about
Ms. Klinsky?
Yeah.

355
00:14:01,904 --> 00:14:04,004
She was like 50.
Yeah, she looked
good for her age.

356
00:14:04,006 --> 00:14:05,439
She looked like
Rick Moranis.

357
00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:07,040
Moranis was always in
pretty good shape, yeah.

358
00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:08,942
Plus, when she took
her hair out of the bun,

359
00:14:08,944 --> 00:14:10,844
she went from
Moranis to Alanis.

360
00:14:10,846 --> 00:14:12,346
Gross. You were 14.

361
00:14:12,348 --> 00:14:14,248
So, technically,
you were raped.

362
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:17,017
It wasn't rape.
Can't rape a guy.
Huh?

363
00:14:17,019 --> 00:14:18,786
You can't rape...
I was... I was willing.

364
00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:20,754
You know, you can't
rape... I mean, it's cool.

365
00:14:20,756 --> 00:14:22,623
Like, I bedded an older
woman. That's cool.

366
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,892
Right, Grieco?
You know what?

367
00:14:27,563 --> 00:14:29,062
You can't use somebody
else's pain, Grieco.

368
00:14:29,064 --> 00:14:30,531
Do you know how
acting works?

369
00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:31,932
Look... (exhales)

370
00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:34,368
Touch my finger...

371
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:37,271
and transfer your pain
into me.
Mm-hmm, it's a good idea.

372
00:14:37,273 --> 00:14:39,072
Touch... touch my finger.
I'm not touching
your finger, man.

373
00:14:39,074 --> 00:14:40,941
I'm not touching
your finger!
Dennis.

374
00:14:40,943 --> 00:14:43,610
Seriously, touch my finger.
What the hell is...?
You know what?

375
00:14:43,612 --> 00:14:45,813
Why don't you just shoot
me doing the goddamn scene?

376
00:14:45,815 --> 00:14:47,581
I'll seduce
the librarian.

377
00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:49,883
You know what? That seaweed's
making me a little sick.

378
00:14:49,885 --> 00:14:52,719
Uh, can I get a chalk break
or something like that?
Uh-oh.

379
00:14:59,929 --> 00:15:02,963
I call this one
"Dog Three-Way."

380
00:15:02,965 --> 00:15:05,732
'Cause I was recently
in a dog three-way.

381
00:15:05,734 --> 00:15:08,001
Actually, four with
me, so, four-way.

382
00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:09,603
I was in a dog orgy.

383
00:15:09,605 --> 00:15:11,939
God, he's making a mockery
of my art, bro.

384
00:15:11,941 --> 00:15:13,407
Oh.
Well,

385
00:15:13,409 --> 00:15:14,942
the shoot was
a total disaster.

386
00:15:14,944 --> 00:15:16,977
Dee's incompetent
and a bitch, which we all knew.

387
00:15:16,979 --> 00:15:18,412
But, I mean, Richard Grieco.

388
00:15:18,414 --> 00:15:20,180
The man is obsessed
with seaweed. It's...

389
00:15:20,182 --> 00:15:22,416
Pump your brakes.
You met Grieco?

390
00:15:22,418 --> 00:15:23,817
Yeah, I met Grieco.
Yeah, he-he was in my movie,

391
00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:25,352
but, uh, it didn't go very well.

392
00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:27,488
What-what are you doing?
Are you doing a Grieco thing?

393
00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:29,590
Yeah, I'm doing a Grieco thing,
'cause-'cause Grieco's the man.

394
00:15:29,592 --> 00:15:31,859
You know, is he the man?
No, not really.

395
00:15:31,861 --> 00:15:33,494
Ah, he's not the man?
No, he's, he's— yeah, no.

396
00:15:33,496 --> 00:15:36,597
Hello, boys.

397
00:15:36,599 --> 00:15:38,866
Is that how you played it?
That is way over the top.

398
00:15:38,868 --> 00:15:41,502
What are you talking about? This
is it. This is the way they are.

399
00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:49,142
Why?
Because I liked it,
and that's what it cost.

400
00:15:49,144 --> 00:15:50,944
Is nobody understanding
what we're trying to do?
(door opens, closes)

401
00:15:50,946 --> 00:15:52,613
I am trying to prove
that this is all bullshit,

402
00:15:52,615 --> 00:15:54,014
and you guys are all
buying into it.

403
00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:55,682
Oh. Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Oh, hi.

404
00:15:55,684 --> 00:15:58,519
Hi.
Here's the darling.

405
00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:00,854
Oh.
That sold me...

406
00:16:00,856 --> 00:16:02,656
not a painting.

407
00:16:02,658 --> 00:16:04,458
Mm.
A revelation.

408
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:06,560
Oh. Hi, Ango.
Oh, oh.

409
00:16:06,562 --> 00:16:07,995
Mm. (laughing)
Oh. Oh, great.

410
00:16:07,997 --> 00:16:09,530
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, Ango.

411
00:16:09,532 --> 00:16:11,231
Yes.
Thank you
very much.

412
00:16:13,202 --> 00:16:14,735
Yes, we have... we
have many paintings by

413
00:16:14,737 --> 00:16:16,670
our featured artist,
Rickety Cricket.
Ah...

414
00:16:16,672 --> 00:16:18,372
Okay, well, Ango
clearly has a great eye.

415
00:16:18,374 --> 00:16:19,973
I do have
a great eye.

416
00:16:19,975 --> 00:16:21,875
So I'm excited
to see what you have.

417
00:16:21,877 --> 00:16:23,877
Yes, yes. Well, here
we have a Cricket.

418
00:16:23,879 --> 00:16:26,046
Oh.

419
00:16:26,048 --> 00:16:28,815
Yes, yes, and, uh, here
we have another Cricket.

420
00:16:28,817 --> 00:16:30,484
Uh-huh.
And, uh...

421
00:16:30,486 --> 00:16:32,586
Oh, here we have
the artist himself.

422
00:16:32,588 --> 00:16:34,988
This is Rickety Cricket.
Hey-o.

423
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:38,425
Wow.
Yeah, he literally
has the worst life imaginable.

424
00:16:38,427 --> 00:16:39,893
(laughing):
He ain't lying.

425
00:16:39,895 --> 00:16:41,328
So now you got some perspective

426
00:16:41,330 --> 00:16:43,063
and some context.
Uh-huh.

427
00:16:43,065 --> 00:16:45,399
And like a story or whatever
it is that you people need,

428
00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:46,900
so...
Uh-huh.

429
00:16:46,902 --> 00:16:48,502
We don't have
to talk numbers right now,

430
00:16:48,504 --> 00:16:50,237
but I feel like it should be...
Hey, guys.

431
00:16:50,239 --> 00:16:53,040
I figured this art opening
would be the perfect place

432
00:16:53,042 --> 00:16:56,109
to premiere
my directorial debut.

433
00:16:56,111 --> 00:16:57,578
No, Dee, absolutely not.

434
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,613
That's a hard "no."
Yeah.

435
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,733
Oh, come on. There were...

436
00:17:19,735 --> 00:17:21,602
No, Dee.
This is ridiculous.

437
00:17:43,892 --> 00:17:46,293
Hey, hoser, remember when
I raped you in the library?

438
00:17:46,295 --> 00:17:50,163
Hoser, hoser, hoser, hoser,
hoser, hoser, hoser...

439
00:17:50,165 --> 00:17:52,299
Okay, thank you. Thank you very
much. I'm sorry. That was, uh...

440
00:17:52,301 --> 00:17:54,334
That's not part
of the, uh, whole thing.

441
00:17:54,336 --> 00:17:56,403
It's very disturbing.
It's very avant-garde.

442
00:17:56,405 --> 00:17:59,072
Mm-hmm.
What do
you think it's all worth?

443
00:17:59,074 --> 00:18:01,241
Good question.
Ango, what do you think?

444
00:18:01,243 --> 00:18:03,176
Millions.

445
00:18:03,178 --> 00:18:05,512
I'd trade my
limbs for it.

446
00:18:05,514 --> 00:18:09,282
Well, the market is dictated
by what people will pay, so...

447
00:18:09,284 --> 00:18:11,985
Well, right, but how much
are you willing to pay for it?

448
00:18:11,987 --> 00:18:13,587
Me?
Yeah.

449
00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:15,689
(laughs)
Oh, no, no.

450
00:18:15,691 --> 00:18:18,759
I'm really not interested
in buying anything.

451
00:18:18,761 --> 00:18:20,327
But you own
an art gallery.

452
00:18:20,329 --> 00:18:21,795
Oh, no. Oh.

453
00:18:21,797 --> 00:18:23,363
I rent an art gallery,

454
00:18:23,365 --> 00:18:25,666
or more accurately,
my parents rent one for me.

455
00:18:25,668 --> 00:18:27,801
What?

456
00:18:27,803 --> 00:18:30,270
So that painting I bought
from you was worthless?

457
00:18:30,272 --> 00:18:31,672
Of course not.

458
00:18:31,674 --> 00:18:33,206
It meant something to you.

459
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,475
It's worth
exactly what you paid.

460
00:18:35,477 --> 00:18:37,844
I want to
sell it back.
Okay.

461
00:18:37,846 --> 00:18:39,646
In that exchange,
it would only be worth

462
00:18:39,648 --> 00:18:43,183
what I would pay for it,
which is, again, um, nothing.

463
00:18:43,185 --> 00:18:44,618
I-I don't get it.

464
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,119
When is stuff art?

465
00:18:46,121 --> 00:18:48,889
Uh, hey, guys,
guys, um, if I may,

466
00:18:48,891 --> 00:18:51,358
I think I can
sum this all up.

467
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,726
You see, art

468
00:18:52,728 --> 00:18:54,895
is an ambiguous thing, yeah?

469
00:18:54,897 --> 00:18:57,397
Yeah, just because you make
some art, it doesn't mean

470
00:18:57,399 --> 00:18:59,466
that you're an artist.

471
00:18:59,468 --> 00:19:02,135
But, also, it does mean
you're an artist.

472
00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:04,171
But does it mean
that that art

473
00:19:04,173 --> 00:19:06,573
is good art?

474
00:19:06,575 --> 00:19:10,410
Is art good just because
the right people say it's good?

475
00:19:10,412 --> 00:19:12,879
Yes. Yes.

476
00:19:12,881 --> 00:19:14,681
That's-that's how it works.

477
00:19:14,683 --> 00:19:16,550
Yeah, but keep in mind,
you know,

478
00:19:16,552 --> 00:19:18,385
a lot of modern art is...
is trash.

479
00:19:18,387 --> 00:19:19,886
I mean, it's shitty.
It's not...

480
00:19:19,888 --> 00:19:21,421
You know, it's not good.
It's terrible.

481
00:19:21,423 --> 00:19:23,390
You know? And yet,
it's a fine line

482
00:19:23,392 --> 00:19:26,693
between Van Gogh and Van Damme,

483
00:19:26,695 --> 00:19:28,662
you know,
between Depp and Grieco,

484
00:19:28,664 --> 00:19:31,531
between Banksy and Charlie,

485
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:34,034
that makes it very difficult to
determine what's good art.

486
00:19:34,036 --> 00:19:35,435
You know, what's high art?

487
00:19:35,437 --> 00:19:37,104
What has worth?
What has meaning?

488
00:19:37,106 --> 00:19:38,605
Yeah?

489
00:19:38,607 --> 00:19:40,440
But if one thing

490
00:19:40,442 --> 00:19:42,509
has become abundantly clear
to me today—

491
00:19:42,511 --> 00:19:45,879
and it should be to all of you,
as well—

492
00:19:45,881 --> 00:19:49,850
is that I wasn't raped.

493
00:19:51,687 --> 00:19:53,854
We had a good time, she and I.

494
00:19:53,856 --> 00:19:56,757
Yeah. It was a...
it was a two-way road.

495
00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:59,326
The whole thing was... mutual.

496
00:20:00,963 --> 00:20:04,765
And the woman in no way
looked like Rick Moranis.

497
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:06,733
You know?

498
00:20:06,735 --> 00:20:10,036
She totally did. I remember
her. Remember her?
Yeah.

499
00:20:10,038 --> 00:20:12,205
Um...
Real dog.
I wouldn't even sleep with her.

500
00:20:49,745 --> 00:20:51,178
Brown.

501
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:53,246
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

502
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:14,701
Man Seeking Woman.
All new, Wednesdays at 10:30.

503
00:21:14,703 --> 00:21:16,169
On FXX.

504
00:21:24,112 --> 00:21:27,113
Very nice,
but maybe something
simpler, monsieur?

505
00:21:30,285 --> 00:21:32,953
Can I try the, uh,
Allegro Rainbow, please?

506
00:21:34,623 --> 00:21:36,389
(whispering)
It's beautiful.

507
00:21:36,391 --> 00:21:39,226
What size is this?
This is a three.

508
00:21:39,228 --> 00:21:41,795
Is it a European cut?
Well, of course, monsieur.

509
00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:47,667
Yep. I'll take this one.

510
00:21:47,669 --> 00:21:49,903
(clicks tongue)
Should I box it up, monsieur?

511
00:21:49,905 --> 00:21:52,806
I'll just wear it out.
Very well.

512
00:21:57,813 --> 00:22:00,714
Baskets. All new,
Thursdays at 10:00.
(squeaks)

513
00:22:00,716 --> 00:22:02,282
Only on FX.

514
00:22:40,522 --> 00:22:42,255
Archer. An all new season.

515
00:22:42,257 --> 00:22:44,758
Thursday, March 31 on FX.