1 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,545 First of all, I'd like to say I-I personally 2 00:00:06,547 --> 00:00:07,713 didn't think any of us would be standing 3 00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:08,781 in front of you here today. 4 00:00:08,783 --> 00:00:10,316 No, no, I mean... Shit, no. 5 00:00:10,318 --> 00:00:11,617 I thought we were going straight to hell. Yeah. 6 00:00:11,619 --> 00:00:13,486 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right, well... 7 00:00:13,488 --> 00:00:15,955 But that being said— I mean, we're good people. Oh, yeah. 8 00:00:15,957 --> 00:00:17,790 I did what I did. You don't like it, 9 00:00:17,792 --> 00:00:19,492 you can kiss my ass. Oh, oh. 10 00:00:19,494 --> 00:00:21,460 Easy, easy. Hey, could we be judged individually? 11 00:00:21,462 --> 00:00:23,329 'Cause I don't want to be lumped in with him. 12 00:00:23,331 --> 00:00:24,797 Look, I know you're gonna judge us. 13 00:00:24,799 --> 00:00:26,966 But before that cruise ship went down, 14 00:00:26,968 --> 00:00:28,734 we prayed. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yeah. 15 00:00:28,736 --> 00:00:31,003 I mean, like, sure, we've done some bad things, 16 00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:33,339 you know, but-but we've changed, I promise. 17 00:00:33,341 --> 00:00:34,907 I'm gonna walk you through how. Mm-hmm. 18 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:37,309 So please just reserve your judgment, okay? 19 00:00:37,311 --> 00:00:38,811 Because once we're finished, 20 00:00:38,813 --> 00:00:40,813 I'm sure you will judge us accordingly. 21 00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,748 Mm-hmm. (chuckles softly) 22 00:01:07,608 --> 00:01:09,875 Goddamn, this ship is the tits! 23 00:01:09,877 --> 00:01:11,377 Frank, Frank, watch your language. You know? 24 00:01:11,379 --> 00:01:13,179 This is a Christian cruise. 25 00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:15,714 Yeah, and I got to say, winning raffles, going on cruises— 26 00:01:15,716 --> 00:01:17,383 I like this new church of yours, Mac. 27 00:01:17,385 --> 00:01:19,051 I think you found the right one. Yeah. 28 00:01:19,053 --> 00:01:21,854 Oh, I didn't find them. They found me. Ah. 29 00:01:21,856 --> 00:01:23,956 And it's all, of course, a part of God's plan. 30 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,558 It's also a part of God's plan 31 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,860 that we all get closer to him through fellowship. 32 00:01:27,862 --> 00:01:29,195 Hey, Mac, is God gonna be able to protect 33 00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:30,863 against the ship sinking? 34 00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:34,033 God protects all things, Charlie. He is an awesome god. 35 00:01:34,035 --> 00:01:37,570 The only way this ship is gonna sink is if the captain's drunk. 36 00:01:37,572 --> 00:01:39,638 Guys, we don't have to worry about drunk captains, 37 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,073 'cause this is the dry cruise, remember? 38 00:01:41,075 --> 00:01:43,142 Yeah. Yeah, I do. And about that, um, 39 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:45,811 where exactly does God stand on that dry thing? 40 00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:48,380 Is that a hard, fast rule or is there some wiggle room? 41 00:01:48,382 --> 00:01:50,749 Look, this cruise is an opportunity for us to get away 42 00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:53,052 from the sins of everyday life. That being said, 43 00:01:53,054 --> 00:01:55,988 we will each have to have a half a cap of mouthwash every day. 44 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,090 You know, just to stave off the shakes. 45 00:02:00,228 --> 00:02:03,495 Okay, guys, I am gonna head up to Bible study right now. Oh. 46 00:02:03,497 --> 00:02:05,731 Oh, right now. Uh, this is our suite. Yeah, you guys can check in or whatever. 47 00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:07,066 But the... Do you want to meet me there? 48 00:02:07,068 --> 00:02:08,267 Do we? Yeah, yeah, 49 00:02:08,269 --> 00:02:09,568 we'll, we'll... We got to... 50 00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:10,669 set our bags down and then, uh... 51 00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:12,171 Yeah, we... I have to unpack, I always do. 52 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,505 All right. Peace be with you. 53 00:02:13,507 --> 00:02:14,840 All right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:14,842 --> 00:02:16,342 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... 55 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,277 You're supposed to say, "And also with you." 56 00:02:18,279 --> 00:02:20,179 Why is that? Would you say... 57 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,580 I'm not gonna say that. Uh, you know what, I'll say it, 58 00:02:21,582 --> 00:02:23,282 if it's gonna help you get out of here 59 00:02:23,284 --> 00:02:25,117 and go to your Bible study. But I'm not gonna mean it. 60 00:02:25,119 --> 00:02:26,185 Oh, you don't have to mean it. 61 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,253 Yeah, you just have to say it. 62 00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:28,787 Okay. And also with you. Bye. 63 00:02:28,789 --> 00:02:30,756 Guys, this is gonna be the best cruise ever. And also with you. 64 00:02:30,758 --> 00:02:32,291 Yeah. I'm not saying it. 65 00:02:32,293 --> 00:02:33,926 Take care. I'm not saying that. 66 00:02:33,928 --> 00:02:35,194 Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh. You don't have to mean it. 67 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:38,764 Mmm. Yeah. 68 00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:41,934 Oh, shit. (rumbling growl) 69 00:02:41,936 --> 00:02:43,435 Yeah. I needed that. 70 00:02:43,437 --> 00:02:45,437 Man, and the beer calms my nerves, too, you know 71 00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:47,273 what I mean? I feel like I could drink that whole suitcase. Oh, God, 72 00:02:47,275 --> 00:02:48,974 me, too. But let's not, okay? 73 00:02:48,976 --> 00:02:50,609 'Cause this is the only alcohol on the entire ship. 74 00:02:50,611 --> 00:02:52,311 Ooh, yeah. Yeah. All right, okay. 75 00:02:52,313 --> 00:02:54,146 That'd be bad. But it's time to suit up now, 76 00:02:54,148 --> 00:02:56,048 so we can get into some nonsense. What do mean, suit up? 77 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,049 Did you bring costumes? 78 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,150 Yeah. Yeah. 79 00:02:58,152 --> 00:02:59,451 I'm gonna be the captain. 80 00:02:59,453 --> 00:03:00,886 Charlie's gonna be the first mate. 81 00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:01,954 No, no, no, I-I'm putting 82 00:03:01,956 --> 00:03:02,988 a stop to this right now. 83 00:03:02,990 --> 00:03:04,623 No costumes, no high jinks. 84 00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:06,325 Okay? Can we just... Guys, can we take a vacation 85 00:03:06,327 --> 00:03:07,993 from our usual bullshit? 86 00:03:07,995 --> 00:03:09,662 You know, I'm not saying we got to do the God stuff, 87 00:03:09,664 --> 00:03:10,796 but let's not— let's not do a bunch 88 00:03:10,798 --> 00:03:12,798 of anti-God stuff either, okay? 89 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,300 So don't be gluttonous. 90 00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:16,168 Okay? You— no wrath. 91 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:19,138 No lust for me. You know, which is gonna be difficult, 92 00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:20,973 given the implications of being on a boat. 93 00:03:20,975 --> 00:03:22,675 All right, well, I'm taking a vacation from you guys, okay? 94 00:03:22,677 --> 00:03:24,810 I'm tired of getting shit on. All right. 95 00:03:24,812 --> 00:03:26,145 That's what I'm talking about, Dee. Nobody's gonna shit on you. 96 00:03:26,147 --> 00:03:28,147 Nobody's gonna call you a bird. 97 00:03:28,149 --> 00:03:30,816 I agree. But first, I got to take the cross off Oh, yeah. 98 00:03:30,818 --> 00:03:34,586 that Mac gave us. This thing is burning me to shit. Yeah, yeah. 99 00:03:34,588 --> 00:03:35,654 There. Look at that. Oh! Oh. 100 00:03:35,656 --> 00:03:37,089 Oh! Goddamn, Frank. 101 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,257 Oh, my God. 102 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,658 You might actually be the devil. 103 00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:40,659 Jesus, I'm gonna take mine off, too. 104 00:03:40,661 --> 00:03:42,828 I could be Satan. (laughs) 105 00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:43,996 Screw God! 106 00:03:46,534 --> 00:03:49,501 Whoa, whoa, what-what was that? Did-did God do that? 107 00:03:49,503 --> 00:03:52,171 No, no, no. Don't go crazy on the God stuff, all right? 108 00:03:52,173 --> 00:03:55,007 That being said, the timing of that big boat noise was... 109 00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:57,509 pretty suspect, so, Frank, maybe don't push his buttons? 110 00:03:57,511 --> 00:03:58,677 Yeah. I get that. Yeah. 111 00:03:58,679 --> 00:03:59,745 All right, I'll leave him alone. 112 00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:02,448 Hey, Mac. 113 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:05,117 We are about ready to get started. You feeling okay? 114 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,552 Yeah, David. It's good. I-I just, uh, 115 00:04:06,554 --> 00:04:08,554 was waiting on my friends. 116 00:04:08,556 --> 00:04:12,291 They said they were gonna be here and they're not here yet. 117 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,860 I should have taken on a missionary position with them. 118 00:04:14,862 --> 00:04:16,562 You know? They need salvation. 119 00:04:16,564 --> 00:04:18,030 Especially my one friend, Frank. 120 00:04:18,032 --> 00:04:20,032 I even started putting battery acid on the back 121 00:04:20,034 --> 00:04:22,201 of his cross necklace to burn through his skin. 122 00:04:22,203 --> 00:04:23,469 Why? 123 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,737 Oh, to subtly send the message 124 00:04:24,739 --> 00:04:25,871 that he might be a demon. 125 00:04:25,873 --> 00:04:29,241 Oh, well, yikes. 126 00:04:29,243 --> 00:04:31,810 Uh, listen, when your friends are ready, they'll come. 127 00:04:31,812 --> 00:04:33,812 Right, yeah. You know, we should just get started. 128 00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,247 Scott, you ready to go? Yup, yup. All right, 129 00:04:35,249 --> 00:04:36,548 everybody, why don't we gather around. 130 00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:37,750 Why don't we, uh... 131 00:04:37,752 --> 00:04:39,051 Well, let's just... 132 00:04:39,053 --> 00:04:40,252 We'll sing through it once 133 00:04:40,254 --> 00:04:41,754 and we'll get it on its feet. 134 00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:46,158 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, 135 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,559 guys... what's that song? 136 00:04:47,561 --> 00:04:49,395 I-I'm not familiar with that hymn. 137 00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:50,929 Uh, the song's "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" 138 00:04:50,931 --> 00:04:52,831 from Guys and Dolls. 139 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,099 It's for the talent show. We do it every year 140 00:04:54,101 --> 00:04:55,901 on this cruise. It's fun. 141 00:04:55,903 --> 00:04:58,737 Fun? No, no, the songs aren't supposed to be fun, 142 00:04:58,739 --> 00:05:00,906 they're supposed to be bleak and dreary, 143 00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:02,841 so we can focus on how bad we are. 144 00:05:02,843 --> 00:05:05,244 Yeah. We need to punish our ears 145 00:05:05,246 --> 00:05:07,613 to pay for the original sin of being born. 146 00:05:07,615 --> 00:05:09,681 Mac, look, uh, I know it can be difficult 147 00:05:09,683 --> 00:05:11,283 transitioning into a new church. 148 00:05:11,285 --> 00:05:13,852 All we ask is that you try to keep an open mind. 149 00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:15,854 Okay, I... Maybe I can do that. 150 00:05:15,856 --> 00:05:18,257 I... But, guys, I can almost guarantee you 151 00:05:18,259 --> 00:05:20,959 that I'm not gonna like this. 152 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,041 Yes! 153 00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:37,109 Yes! 154 00:05:37,111 --> 00:05:40,112 Yes! Yes! 155 00:05:40,114 --> 00:05:43,115 I feel like I've been waiting for this my entire life. 156 00:05:43,117 --> 00:05:44,950 Good. We're glad you had fun. 157 00:05:44,952 --> 00:05:46,618 Yes, yeah. I'm ready to go again. 158 00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:47,953 Well, you've already gone twice. We're sort of 159 00:05:47,955 --> 00:05:49,288 taking turns... We're gonna go 160 00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:51,457 from the top. Five, six, seven, eight... 161 00:05:51,459 --> 00:05:53,559 These winter coats were a good idea— it is chilly. Yeah. 162 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:54,960 Come in handy. You don't want... 163 00:05:54,962 --> 00:05:56,462 They're cranking the air conditioning. 164 00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:57,629 Yeah, you don't want to be sick on a boat. 165 00:05:57,631 --> 00:05:59,965 Whoa, look at this place. 166 00:05:59,967 --> 00:06:01,500 I think we died and went to heaven, Frank. 167 00:06:01,502 --> 00:06:03,469 Oh. Dude. 168 00:06:03,471 --> 00:06:05,003 I thought you said they didn't have alcohol. 169 00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:06,305 Look, they-they got screwdrivers. 170 00:06:06,307 --> 00:06:07,506 Oh, no, Charlie. 171 00:06:07,508 --> 00:06:09,408 That's just orange juice. 172 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:10,976 There's no alcohol. Just orange juice, like the mixer? 173 00:06:10,978 --> 00:06:12,811 Yeah. Yeah, people drink it. 174 00:06:12,813 --> 00:06:14,413 People drink it. Yeah. That's crazy to me. 175 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,482 When was the last time you drank straight mixer? 176 00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:18,484 Oh, I had a diet cola mixer a while ago. 177 00:06:18,486 --> 00:06:19,585 Oh, did you? (burps) 178 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,752 Was it any good? 179 00:06:20,754 --> 00:06:22,754 Yeah, oh, yeah. Whoa. (sniffs) 180 00:06:22,756 --> 00:06:24,356 What? Dude. 181 00:06:24,358 --> 00:06:26,024 You drinking a beer right now? 182 00:06:26,026 --> 00:06:28,660 What? Get out of town. 183 00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:30,329 You can lie, but that burp told me the whole story. 184 00:06:30,331 --> 00:06:31,597 You holding? What you got? 185 00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,165 You smell the beer? You holding beer? 186 00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:34,600 Come on, man. 187 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,868 Bingo! (laughs) 188 00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:37,169 Excuse me. 189 00:06:37,171 --> 00:06:39,004 You can't have alcohol on the ship. 190 00:06:39,006 --> 00:06:40,172 Oh, this, uh, this is an empty. 191 00:06:40,174 --> 00:06:41,940 That-that was an empty can. 192 00:06:41,942 --> 00:06:43,509 A pelican dropped it and we... Yeah, we picked it up. 193 00:06:43,511 --> 00:06:44,543 Yeah, it was, like... Do you have 194 00:06:44,545 --> 00:06:45,544 any more on you, sir? 195 00:06:45,546 --> 00:06:47,212 No, not a bit. Yeah. 196 00:06:47,214 --> 00:06:49,548 What's going on here? Uh, uh, Captain. 197 00:06:49,550 --> 00:06:51,049 Do you have any more alcohol on you? 198 00:06:51,051 --> 00:06:52,217 Uh, not a bit. 199 00:06:52,219 --> 00:06:54,720 If you'll excuse me. Yup. 200 00:06:54,722 --> 00:06:56,288 Whoa! 201 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,789 What the hell is that, Frank? 202 00:06:57,791 --> 00:06:59,358 Well, I don't want to run back and forth 203 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,126 to the cabin all the time, it's so far away. 204 00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:02,528 Son of a bitch! 205 00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,396 And you— you have any beer on you? 206 00:07:04,398 --> 00:07:06,698 Aah! 207 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:08,066 Charlie, you lied to me. 208 00:07:08,068 --> 00:07:09,735 Uh, well, you lied first, man! 209 00:07:09,737 --> 00:07:11,737 Is that the rest of it? Yeah, that's all of it. 210 00:07:11,739 --> 00:07:13,572 We have to confiscate all these beers from you. Okay. 211 00:07:13,574 --> 00:07:14,940 Yeah, yeah, yeah, got it. 212 00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:24,383 Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no. 213 00:07:24,385 --> 00:07:25,751 That's my seat, bitch. 214 00:07:25,753 --> 00:07:27,219 Excuse me. 215 00:07:27,221 --> 00:07:28,987 Sorry. Got a little worked up. 216 00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:30,756 Uh, not quite in vacation mode yet. 217 00:07:30,758 --> 00:07:32,157 Let me try again. 218 00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:34,893 Um, please get your shit off my seat. 219 00:07:34,895 --> 00:07:37,229 I don't see your magazine or towel on it, 220 00:07:37,231 --> 00:07:39,064 and I got here first, 221 00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:42,801 so I don't feel like it's really your seat. 222 00:07:49,109 --> 00:07:51,243 I'm sitting with you. Thought you were taking a vacation from us. 223 00:07:51,245 --> 00:07:53,412 Yeah, I was trying, but this is the only seat open, 224 00:07:53,414 --> 00:07:54,780 so can you try not to shit on me 225 00:07:54,782 --> 00:07:56,181 for, like, the next hour or so, please? 226 00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:57,583 I'm trying to relax. Dee, relax. 227 00:07:57,585 --> 00:07:59,117 I'm not gonna shit on you. 228 00:07:59,119 --> 00:08:00,919 Okay? Nobody's shitting on you. 229 00:08:00,921 --> 00:08:02,754 How's it going with the wrath thing? 230 00:08:02,756 --> 00:08:04,356 You, uh, staying away from that? 231 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,757 Well, yeah, you know, I was trying, 232 00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:07,192 but there are certain "see you next Tuesdays" 233 00:08:07,194 --> 00:08:09,094 on this ship that are making it very difficult. 234 00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:10,596 Well, yeah, I feel you. I'm... 235 00:08:10,598 --> 00:08:12,197 I'm already struggling with the lust thing. 236 00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:15,100 See this, uh, flaxen-haired seductress 237 00:08:15,102 --> 00:08:16,602 across the pool over here? 238 00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:18,637 Dennis, she looks like she's 12 years old. 239 00:08:18,639 --> 00:08:20,639 No, she's of age. I checked. 240 00:08:20,641 --> 00:08:23,609 Well, she's gallivanting around, you know, 241 00:08:23,611 --> 00:08:25,210 flaunting it for me, and she knows how easy 242 00:08:25,212 --> 00:08:26,812 it would be for me to have her, too, 243 00:08:26,814 --> 00:08:28,280 because of the implication. 244 00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:29,715 Not that you would understand. 245 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,483 It's not what you think it is. 246 00:08:31,485 --> 00:08:33,285 No, I think I get it. We're out in the middle of the ocean. 247 00:08:33,287 --> 00:08:35,120 She's stuck on a boat. She couldn't possibly say no, 248 00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:38,123 'cause something might go wrong for her if she did. 249 00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:39,725 That's... that's exactly what it is. 250 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,460 How did you get that so fast? 251 00:08:41,462 --> 00:08:44,796 It's like when I'm alone with a guy, 252 00:08:44,798 --> 00:08:47,799 and we're messing around, and he gets all skittish about banging. 253 00:08:47,801 --> 00:08:51,303 So then I insinuate that it would be a shame 254 00:08:51,305 --> 00:08:54,139 if my account of what happened was different from his 255 00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:56,008 and then he ended up getting a call from the sheriff. 256 00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:57,643 You know what I mean? 257 00:08:57,645 --> 00:09:00,245 And then, boom. We plow. 258 00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:03,515 Okay. Yeah. No, I-I think I get it. 259 00:09:03,517 --> 00:09:05,417 Yeah, right? Right, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 260 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:06,818 (gasps) Oh, my God! 261 00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,920 Oh, a bird shit on me! Oh. 262 00:09:08,922 --> 00:09:09,988 A bird shit in my mouth! 263 00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:11,490 A bird shit inside of my mouth! 264 00:09:12,926 --> 00:09:14,326 I'm literally getting shit on. 265 00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:15,994 I'm literally getting shit on! 266 00:09:15,996 --> 00:09:18,597 Hit it! Hit it! Hit it! Whoa! 267 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:21,266 Oh, yeah! Hey. 268 00:09:21,268 --> 00:09:23,168 Hey, fellowship was fun. Yeah, see? 269 00:09:23,170 --> 00:09:25,437 It doesn't have to be all dour and penitent to praise God. 270 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,105 Is it my turn? Absolutely. Step up. 271 00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,540 Okay. 272 00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:31,176 Aah! No! 273 00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:33,211 I failed! It's okay. 274 00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:34,680 I failed. I failed you. Nah. 275 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:36,181 No. I failed God. 276 00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:39,217 All right, get me good. Whoa. 277 00:09:39,219 --> 00:09:40,686 Hello. What is...? 278 00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,354 I brought my cat-o'-nine-tails. Yeah. 279 00:09:42,356 --> 00:09:43,855 You know, so, flagellate me. Three-three lashes for missing. 280 00:09:43,857 --> 00:09:46,625 Why would you want me to do that? 281 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:48,694 So I could be a better boy. 282 00:09:48,696 --> 00:09:50,529 Mac, it isn't a sin to miss, okay? That's... 283 00:09:50,531 --> 00:09:52,130 We don't punish ourselves for that. 284 00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:53,799 You don't punish yourselves? 285 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,867 Then how do you become closer to God? 286 00:09:55,869 --> 00:09:59,738 By just appreciating the game and the wonderful day. 287 00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,540 Well, sure, yeah, it's a wonderful day now, 288 00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:03,208 but look at that storm coming. 289 00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:04,876 (thunderclap) That's impending doom right there. 290 00:10:04,878 --> 00:10:07,746 He-he probably sent that storm because I keep failing him. 291 00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:10,248 Look, just relax, try it again, 292 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,884 and this time, hey, no guilt. 293 00:10:12,886 --> 00:10:14,886 No guilt? 294 00:10:14,888 --> 00:10:16,788 Okay. 295 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,224 Oh, my. Yes! 296 00:10:19,226 --> 00:10:21,059 I did it! I did it! All right. 297 00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:22,728 In your face! I beat your asses. 298 00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:25,163 (thunder rumbles) Whoa. Gay. Gay. 299 00:10:25,165 --> 00:10:26,565 Gay, gay, gay, gay. 300 00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:28,266 What are you doing? Why are you two kissing? 301 00:10:28,268 --> 00:10:31,236 Uh, because he's my husband, and we love each other. 302 00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:32,838 What's going on? 303 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,406 What-what about God? You-you heard him. 304 00:10:34,408 --> 00:10:38,076 He clapped and said, "No! Boom!" 305 00:10:38,078 --> 00:10:41,079 You think thunder is God clapping? 306 00:10:41,081 --> 00:10:42,614 Oh, no. 307 00:10:42,616 --> 00:10:45,183 Oh, no. (thunder rumbling) 308 00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:53,125 You think there's gonna be anybody here with talent? 309 00:10:53,127 --> 00:10:54,593 I mean, this is a Christian cruise. 310 00:10:54,595 --> 00:10:56,094 This is gonna be boring as shit. 311 00:10:56,096 --> 00:10:58,263 I'm anticipating a boring show. 312 00:10:58,265 --> 00:10:59,631 Yeah, yeah. 313 00:10:59,633 --> 00:11:01,099 Oh, there she is. Hmm. 314 00:11:01,101 --> 00:11:02,801 Sitting by me again, huh? Shut up. 315 00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:04,770 I need something to wash the bird shit taste out of my mouth. 316 00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:06,471 Oh, yeah. I saw you guys. Where are the beers? 317 00:11:06,473 --> 00:11:07,973 In the captain's stomach. 318 00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:09,374 Yeah. Yeah, it's, uh... 319 00:11:09,376 --> 00:11:10,609 We kind of got, like, 320 00:11:10,611 --> 00:11:11,943 you know, caught with them. 321 00:11:11,945 --> 00:11:12,978 All of them? 322 00:11:12,980 --> 00:11:14,446 Yup. Pretty much, yeah. 323 00:11:14,448 --> 00:11:16,448 I knew you couldn't stop from being gluttonous. 324 00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:17,949 Oh, you guys. Uh, all right, fine... It was a mistake, man. 325 00:11:17,951 --> 00:11:20,285 Give me the mouthwash. I need the mouthwash then. 326 00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:22,120 That's gone, too. I kind of drank... all of it. 327 00:11:22,122 --> 00:11:23,955 Charlie drank it. He needed to calm down. You serious? 328 00:11:23,957 --> 00:11:26,158 Goddamn it! (thunder rumbles) 329 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,659 It doesn't do... Oh. (electrical buzzing) 330 00:11:27,661 --> 00:11:29,127 Whoa. Whoa. See. Oh! 331 00:11:29,129 --> 00:11:30,996 See, I don't like the storm, man. 332 00:11:30,998 --> 00:11:32,464 The storm's starting to freak me out. You know what I mean? 333 00:11:32,466 --> 00:11:34,633 Yeah, WTF? Yes, yes, the storm is intensifying. 334 00:11:34,635 --> 00:11:36,968 And yet I remain calm in spite of the fact that this 335 00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:38,570 one here is dressed like this. 336 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,071 Uh... That's just crazy. Yeah, it is weird. 337 00:11:40,073 --> 00:11:42,140 This girl in the sweater? He's been doing it all day. 338 00:11:42,142 --> 00:11:43,975 You think that's...? Can you just... can you just drop it? 339 00:11:43,977 --> 00:11:45,177 Well, I would if she wouldn't always be sitting in my eyeline. 340 00:11:45,179 --> 00:11:47,813 Then again, that is what she does. 341 00:11:47,815 --> 00:11:49,314 She wants me looking at her at all times. 342 00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:51,483 She's driving me nuts, I'll tell you. 343 00:11:51,485 --> 00:11:53,485 Maybe I'll send her a drink or something. 344 00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:56,021 A virgin daiquiri for the virgin? Guys, guys, guys, guys, 345 00:11:56,023 --> 00:11:58,490 guys, guys, guys, guys, I've got news, I've got terrible news. 346 00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,992 Oh, see this is exactly what I wanted a vacation from. Of course you do. 347 00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:04,429 that are gay. 348 00:12:04,431 --> 00:12:05,697 Who's the other guy? 349 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,837 I don't get the joke. (overlapping chatter) 350 00:12:15,509 --> 00:12:17,342 (electrical buzzing) Oh! 351 00:12:17,344 --> 00:12:19,611 Oh, see? That's... that's freaking me out. 352 00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:21,346 That's the big man! That's the big man. I don't know what it is, 353 00:12:21,348 --> 00:12:23,949 but I don't like it. Let's go find our beer, man. 354 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:26,518 We're gonna go snoop around, see if we can find our beer. Let's look for some alcohol. 355 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,119 Recover that beer and bring some back. 356 00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:30,121 Yeah. Don't take 'em all. And why is...? 357 00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:31,857 Ladies and gents, 358 00:12:31,859 --> 00:12:33,859 it's talent show time. Please welcome 359 00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:36,194 Marlene, the magician. 360 00:12:36,196 --> 00:12:38,964 That's the bitch who stole my chair! 361 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:42,033 Magic? The dark arts? Are you guys serious? 362 00:12:42,035 --> 00:12:44,636 First the queers. Then sorcery? 363 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,872 This cruise is going straight to hell. Okay. 364 00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:49,407 I'm out of here! All right. See ya. 365 00:12:49,409 --> 00:12:50,542 Peace be with you. 366 00:12:50,544 --> 00:12:51,977 We're not saying that other bit. No. 367 00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,478 Aah! 368 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,880 For my first trick tonight, 369 00:12:54,882 --> 00:12:56,314 I'm going to need a volunteer. 370 00:12:56,316 --> 00:13:01,219 Hmm. Hey, you, bird girl. 371 00:13:01,221 --> 00:13:03,989 Come on up. Can you believe this bitch? 372 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,390 (laughs) Go. Go up. 373 00:13:05,392 --> 00:13:07,058 I don't... Bird girl. 374 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:09,895 Yes, we call her bird. We also call her a bird. 375 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:15,267 Oh, baby. See? These costumes are a great idea, Frank. 376 00:13:15,269 --> 00:13:16,835 (laughs) So we can go anywhere we want on the ship now. 377 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,737 Anywhere we want. And nobody's gonna know. 378 00:13:18,739 --> 00:13:20,906 That's not exactly the first mate's costume I had in mind. 379 00:13:20,908 --> 00:13:22,574 Hey, man, you said "first mate." That's gonna do. 380 00:13:22,576 --> 00:13:24,509 I was, like, Gilligan. That's the only guy I know. 381 00:13:24,511 --> 00:13:25,911 Yeah, no. It's good. It's good. 382 00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:27,512 All right, so what do you think? 383 00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:28,914 We find the captain's quarters, 384 00:13:28,916 --> 00:13:30,415 kick down the door, find our beer. Oh, no. 385 00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:31,783 Strangle the guy or something. Oh, no, no. 386 00:13:31,785 --> 00:13:33,451 That beer? That beer is long gone. 387 00:13:33,453 --> 00:13:34,953 No, we don't want to do that. Drank it, huh? 388 00:13:34,955 --> 00:13:36,521 Oh, the party is right down here. 389 00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:38,023 And right down here below deck. This is the party? 390 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,424 That's right. This is it. I don't hear anything. 391 00:13:39,426 --> 00:13:40,792 All I see is a bunch of pipes. 392 00:13:40,794 --> 00:13:42,027 How is this a party? The pipes are the party. 393 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,195 The pipes are the party? Yeah. 394 00:13:44,197 --> 00:13:45,430 What are you talking about? Well, all the booze we're ever gonna need is 395 00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:47,265 running through these pipes. 396 00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:49,634 So, what? Wait, wait. We're just gonna drink straight boat fuel? 397 00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:52,203 No. We're gonna cut it. 398 00:13:52,205 --> 00:13:53,271 With what? 399 00:13:53,273 --> 00:13:54,773 Mixers. 400 00:13:54,775 --> 00:13:56,942 Hmm? Mmm. 401 00:13:56,944 --> 00:14:00,779 (chuckles) Oh, good. Yeah, you got one of those. 402 00:14:00,781 --> 00:14:04,549 (clang) Lord, hear my prayer! 403 00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:07,052 The only reason I went to this church in the first place 404 00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:09,888 was to become closer to you! 405 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:14,292 Well, that and the other church was getting super Vietnamese. 406 00:14:14,294 --> 00:14:17,295 I just need to know my purpose! 407 00:14:17,297 --> 00:14:20,465 I-I used to think it was worship 408 00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:22,500 and then song and dance! 409 00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:24,970 I got to be honest, I've really taken to it, 410 00:14:24,972 --> 00:14:26,638 and I think musicals are gonna become 411 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,307 a huge part of my life moving forward! 412 00:14:29,309 --> 00:14:31,242 But now with these gay Christians, 413 00:14:31,244 --> 00:14:33,645 I don't know! 414 00:14:33,647 --> 00:14:35,814 I need you to show me a sign 415 00:14:35,816 --> 00:14:37,816 to tell me my purpose here! 416 00:14:37,818 --> 00:14:39,184 Maybe some lightning! 417 00:14:39,186 --> 00:14:42,020 Maybe some thunder? 418 00:14:42,022 --> 00:14:44,522 No? 419 00:14:44,524 --> 00:14:47,258 Should I have stuck with the Vietnamese? 420 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:49,327 Is this your card? 421 00:14:52,265 --> 00:14:53,999 Can I... can I have the deck, please? 422 00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:56,501 I-I got a trick that'll blow you guys out of the water. 423 00:14:56,503 --> 00:14:58,837 Wait, I'm confused. Is that a challenge or a terrorist threat 424 00:14:58,839 --> 00:15:00,505 to the ship? (laughs) (rimshot) 425 00:15:01,441 --> 00:15:03,174 Give me the goddamn deck. 426 00:15:03,176 --> 00:15:04,709 By all means. 427 00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:07,178 Pick a card, any card. 428 00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:09,014 Hmm... 429 00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:12,117 Now take a good look at that card, please. 430 00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,052 You might want to bring it a little bit closer, 431 00:15:14,054 --> 00:15:16,521 just so you can see it well. A little bit closer. Great. 432 00:15:16,523 --> 00:15:19,724 Now, tell me, what suit is your card? 433 00:15:19,726 --> 00:15:23,028 Spades. Spades. Ooh. All right. 434 00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:25,730 Now watch while I turn 435 00:15:25,732 --> 00:15:28,800 these spades into stars. Oh! 436 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,235 (gasping) Oh, shit! 437 00:15:30,237 --> 00:15:32,037 Who's getting shit on now, bitch? 438 00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:33,304 What is wrong with you? 439 00:15:33,306 --> 00:15:35,707 You knocked out my tooth! 440 00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:38,877 (booing) Did I? That wasn't the plan. I didn't mean to— I-I'm sorry. 441 00:15:38,879 --> 00:15:40,245 I didn't mean to do that. 442 00:15:40,247 --> 00:15:42,047 Get off the stage, bird girl! 443 00:15:42,049 --> 00:15:44,549 She stole my chair at the pool, and I got so hot about it. 444 00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:46,718 Hey, hey. What? No, no, no, no, no! 445 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,387 Yeah! 446 00:15:49,389 --> 00:15:52,057 What? No. Aw, no, come on! 447 00:15:52,059 --> 00:15:55,060 Well, what is this, boat jail? 448 00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:58,229 I'm not a goddamn Somali pirate, okay? 449 00:15:58,231 --> 00:15:59,998 No, wait, wait! Ah... 450 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,466 Goddamn it. 451 00:16:07,741 --> 00:16:10,175 thunderstorms, capable of producing gale-force winds... 452 00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,510 The storm's worsening, Captain. What should we do? 453 00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:13,845 Fire the torpedoes! 454 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:17,582 What? Full steam ahead! 455 00:16:17,584 --> 00:16:19,951 Christ, not you again! Frank, I think I found 456 00:16:19,953 --> 00:16:21,786 where he's hiding the beer! What do you got, Charlie? 457 00:16:21,788 --> 00:16:25,090 No, no, it's just, like, wires and stuff. Yeah. Oh, yeah? 458 00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:26,758 Put these men in the brig. 459 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,195 Charlie. Ah, get your hands off... Wait, wait. 460 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,363 I'll dispose of those. 461 00:16:32,365 --> 00:16:34,632 Oh, yeah, yeah, I know where... No, no, don't let him drink that! 462 00:16:34,634 --> 00:16:37,035 Don't let him drink our torpedo juice! 463 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,474 Dee? 464 00:16:42,476 --> 00:16:44,275 What'd you get thrown in for? 465 00:16:44,277 --> 00:16:47,612 I couldn't control my wrath. You? Yeah. 466 00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:49,614 Gluttony. Yeah. 467 00:16:49,616 --> 00:16:52,283 Been drinking boat fuel and shit. Oh, sure. 468 00:16:52,285 --> 00:16:54,285 Sure. Yeah. 469 00:16:54,287 --> 00:16:56,554 Oh... hello. 470 00:16:58,391 --> 00:17:02,026 Wow. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you there. 471 00:17:03,797 --> 00:17:07,899 Anyway, I, um... I should have introduced myself earlier. 472 00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,834 I'm the daiquiri man, 473 00:17:09,836 --> 00:17:12,303 but I suspect you already knew that, didn't you? 474 00:17:13,573 --> 00:17:16,141 Was it good? Was it sweet? 475 00:17:16,143 --> 00:17:17,675 I guess. 476 00:17:17,677 --> 00:17:20,345 Well, it either was or it wasn't. 477 00:17:20,347 --> 00:17:22,347 Yeah. Yeah. Of course. 478 00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:24,749 Yeah. No, I had one, too. It was... it was sweet. 479 00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:26,584 You seem sweet. 480 00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:29,354 I've been watching you 481 00:17:29,356 --> 00:17:31,489 and following you, of sorts. 482 00:17:31,491 --> 00:17:33,491 You know, in a good way. 483 00:17:33,493 --> 00:17:36,694 So how'd you like that magic show? 484 00:17:36,696 --> 00:17:38,163 Do you enjoy magic? 485 00:17:38,165 --> 00:17:41,666 You know, I-I can do magic. Whoop. 486 00:17:41,668 --> 00:17:43,835 Uh, how did you get that? Get your license? 487 00:17:43,837 --> 00:17:45,370 Don't worry about it. 488 00:17:45,372 --> 00:17:48,606 1996, though. That's good. That makes the cutoff. 489 00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:51,376 There you go. I wasn't gonna steal it. 490 00:17:51,378 --> 00:17:53,378 (clears throat) Um... 491 00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:56,381 So, how about this storm, huh? 492 00:17:56,383 --> 00:17:58,349 I think it's kind of cool, you know? 493 00:17:58,351 --> 00:18:00,618 Here we are on a boat, you know, out in the middle of... 494 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,288 out in the middle of nowhere, and nobody would ever hear 495 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,523 our screams in this wind, you know. 496 00:18:05,525 --> 00:18:07,725 Oh. (chuckles) 497 00:18:07,727 --> 00:18:10,562 The thunder's really... It's throwing this whole thing off. 498 00:18:10,564 --> 00:18:12,564 It's making everything I say seem sinister, 499 00:18:12,566 --> 00:18:14,966 which it's not intended to be, you know what I mean? 500 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,035 What's up? I-I'm sorry. I have to go. 501 00:18:17,037 --> 00:18:19,537 No, no, no, no, no. No. Sorry, no. 502 00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:22,106 It's... There's nowhere to go. (chuckles) 503 00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:24,809 There's really nowhere to go. 504 00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:26,211 You know? So... 505 00:18:26,213 --> 00:18:29,147 why don't I, uh, come in your room? 506 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:32,717 (chuckles) "Come in your room." That's not what I meant. 507 00:18:32,719 --> 00:18:35,720 I would like to go in your room. 508 00:18:35,722 --> 00:18:38,556 Um, and I suspect that maybe... 509 00:18:38,558 --> 00:18:40,225 you might say no, and yet... 510 00:18:40,227 --> 00:18:42,894 I also feel like maybe... 511 00:18:42,896 --> 00:18:45,597 you wouldn't dare. 512 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:52,070 Well, that's not supposed to happen. 513 00:18:52,072 --> 00:18:54,105 Guys, come on, come on! It was a misunderstanding! 514 00:18:54,107 --> 00:18:56,741 The storm made it seem way worse than it is. 515 00:18:56,743 --> 00:19:00,578 She was never in any danger. 516 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:01,579 Lust? 517 00:19:01,581 --> 00:19:04,649 Yeah. 518 00:19:09,789 --> 00:19:11,189 Oh, my God, Mac. 519 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,690 You're soaking wet. Are you okay? 520 00:19:12,692 --> 00:19:14,292 Yeah. I was out in the rain 521 00:19:14,294 --> 00:19:15,760 looking for a sign from God. 522 00:19:15,762 --> 00:19:17,128 I never got the timing right, 523 00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:18,429 but doesn't matter. 524 00:19:18,431 --> 00:19:19,931 The point is, I thought I was here 525 00:19:19,933 --> 00:19:21,799 for you guys to open my mind. 526 00:19:21,801 --> 00:19:25,370 But now I realized I'm here to close yours! 527 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,771 I'm sorry, what? 528 00:19:26,773 --> 00:19:29,540 Guys, I'm here to convert you. 529 00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:32,043 From being gay. 530 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,445 You want to convert us? Yeah! 531 00:19:34,447 --> 00:19:36,814 You realize how insulting that is? 532 00:19:36,816 --> 00:19:39,450 How would you like it if I tried to convert you? 533 00:19:39,452 --> 00:19:40,652 Uh... I wouldn't care. 534 00:19:40,654 --> 00:19:42,654 'Cause that's, like, impossible. 535 00:19:42,656 --> 00:19:44,956 There's no way you guys could convert me to your lifestyle. 536 00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:47,292 Let's give it a shot. 537 00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:51,896 Well... 538 00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:53,998 I'm gay. 539 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,667 Yeah. No shit. 540 00:19:55,669 --> 00:19:57,735 Oh, you guys knew this already? 541 00:19:57,737 --> 00:19:59,237 That you were gay? From the day we met. 542 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,505 Oh, my God, I've been trying... Yeah, always. 543 00:20:00,507 --> 00:20:01,739 Whoa, really? But what's going on? 544 00:20:01,741 --> 00:20:03,508 Did you just get tossed in here? 545 00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:05,910 Or, like, why are you in here? Oh, no, I just walked in on my own. 546 00:20:05,912 --> 00:20:07,979 What? You let the door close behind you? 547 00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:09,414 I couldn't find you guys. I wanted to hang out. 548 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:10,848 I had something important to tell you. 549 00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:13,251 What is it? There is no God. 550 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,986 Well, what? What is happening right now? 551 00:20:14,988 --> 00:20:16,154 Why, where are you getting this from? Yeah, why... 552 00:20:16,156 --> 00:20:17,655 I was like... (sighs) Okay. 553 00:20:17,657 --> 00:20:19,090 If there was a God, there's no way 554 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,525 that he would make me queer, right? 555 00:20:20,527 --> 00:20:22,427 I can't, I can't listen to this anymore. 556 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:23,661 I got to get out of here. I can't be around you. 557 00:20:23,663 --> 00:20:25,596 I've got to get out of here! 558 00:20:25,598 --> 00:20:26,831 Got to get out of here! 559 00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:27,865 What are you squawking about? 560 00:20:27,867 --> 00:20:29,767 Let me out of here! 561 00:20:29,769 --> 00:20:30,835 Honestly, what's the point anyway? 562 00:20:30,837 --> 00:20:32,203 There's no meaning to any of it. 563 00:20:32,205 --> 00:20:33,604 There's no God, there's no heaven, 564 00:20:33,606 --> 00:20:34,939 there's no hell. Wrong! 565 00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:36,507 Oh, I just wanted a couple of days. 566 00:20:36,509 --> 00:20:37,875 Just a couple of days away from you guys. 567 00:20:37,877 --> 00:20:39,177 But I can't escape you! 568 00:20:39,179 --> 00:20:40,678 You know where hell is, Mac? 569 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,679 You know where hell is? It's right here. 570 00:20:41,681 --> 00:20:43,348 It's right now. 571 00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:46,017 We are in hell! 572 00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:48,519 (yells) Oh, Jesus. 573 00:20:51,024 --> 00:20:53,458 What the shit was that? 574 00:21:31,998 --> 00:21:33,431 Brown. 575 00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:35,466 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 576 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,836 You ready? Yeah! 577 00:21:38,838 --> 00:21:41,105 Wednesdays, the all-new season. 578 00:21:41,107 --> 00:21:42,540 - (screams) - Here we go. 579 00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:43,741 - Five! - (cackles) 580 00:21:43,743 --> 00:21:46,077 - My head is fine. - Oh, my God! 581 00:21:46,079 --> 00:21:48,212 - Four! - You can't have alcohol on the ship. 582 00:21:48,214 --> 00:21:49,714 Aaah! 583 00:21:49,716 --> 00:21:51,349 - Three! - Hello! 584 00:21:52,952 --> 00:21:54,585 - Two! - Still got it. 585 00:21:55,422 --> 00:21:57,288 - (laughing hysterically) - One! 586 00:21:57,290 --> 00:21:59,957 Have you been drinking paint? No. 587 00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:01,559 Let me see your tongue. 588 00:22:01,561 --> 00:22:03,094 - Oh, my God, dude! Sunny. 589 00:22:03,096 --> 00:22:05,129 All new, Wednesdays at 10:00. 590 00:22:05,131 --> 00:22:07,165 Only on FXX. 591 00:22:08,435 --> 00:22:09,233 (gasps) No. 592 00:22:19,895 --> 00:22:22,045 Man Seeking Woman. All new, Wednesdays at 10:30. 593 00:22:22,048 --> 00:22:23,314 On FXX. 594 00:22:36,095 --> 00:22:37,995 Baskets. All new, Thursdays at 10:00. 595 00:22:37,997 --> 00:22:39,230 Only on FX. 596 00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:41,933 This spring— 597 00:22:41,935 --> 00:22:44,469 How awesome is it to be back doing what we're best at? 598 00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:49,006 - I'm starving. - Please. The only thing you eat is cocktail onions. 599 00:22:49,008 --> 00:22:50,408 Archer. (Pam laughing) 600 00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,944 (grunting) Pam! 601 00:22:52,946 --> 00:22:55,580 I will stop, but I will not apologize. 602 00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:58,649 The all new season starts Thursday, March 31. 603 00:22:58,651 --> 00:23:00,384 Only on FX. 604 00:23:01,821 --> 00:23:05,323 This could be the most high-profile criminal case in the world. 605 00:23:06,693 --> 00:23:08,993 I'm not a public personality. 606 00:23:08,995 --> 00:23:11,095 I don't know how to do this. 607 00:23:11,097 --> 00:23:13,130 Do not kill yourself in Kimmy's bedroom. 608 00:23:13,132 --> 00:23:15,066 Give me the gun. Give me the gun! 609 00:23:16,669 --> 00:23:18,536 I think that we should cut a deal. 610 00:23:20,006 --> 00:23:23,274 I ain't trying to be respectful. I'm trying to win. 611 00:23:24,611 --> 00:23:26,377 I deserve to get hurt. 612 00:23:26,379 --> 00:23:28,646 The People v. O.J. Simpson. 613 00:23:28,648 --> 00:23:31,215 All new, Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX.