1
00:00:00,877 --> 00:00:03,777
Wade Boggs. He's a Hall of Fame baseball guy

2
00:00:03,813 --> 00:00:05,912
who drank 70 beers on
a cross-country flight.

3
00:00:05,949 --> 00:00:07,114
We're gonna beat that record.

4
00:00:07,249 --> 00:00:08,983
That's why I booked us these tickets.

5
00:00:09,118 --> 00:00:12,069
Uh, I thought we were flying to Los Angeles
for the Women's March.

6
00:00:12,204 --> 00:00:16,007
Mm-hmm. You are correct that
this is an all-female flight

7
00:00:16,009 --> 00:00:18,075
on the way to the Women's March...

8
00:00:18,111 --> 00:00:19,810
but I don't give a shit about that.

9
00:00:19,846 --> 00:00:20,878
It's about the Boggs thing.

10
00:00:21,013 --> 00:00:22,963
I didn't know it was an all-female flight.

11
00:00:23,016 --> 00:00:24,881
That feels dangerous.

12
00:00:24,918 --> 00:00:26,817
What are you... no, hey! Come on!

13
00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:28,857
- Oh!
- Can't smoke on an airplane.

14
00:00:28,892 --> 00:00:30,902
Goddamn, when's the last time you flew?

15
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,841
Yeah, I don't get it. You already did this.

16
00:00:33,976 --> 00:00:36,780
Shouldn't we do our own thing?
Why are we copying the guys?

17
00:00:36,815 --> 00:00:37,979
No, that's the whole point.

18
00:00:38,114 --> 00:00:41,248
It's the same exact thing,
but it's with women.

19
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,117
Right? So it's a new idea.

20
00:00:43,186 --> 00:00:45,069
Okay, I just feel
that if it's all with women,

21
00:00:45,204 --> 00:00:48,012
- then it should be better.
- Why can't we just do the same thing?

22
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:50,706
Because if we do the same thing
then why are we doing it at all?

23
00:00:50,741 --> 00:00:51,875
Yeah, I got to say I agree with that.

24
00:00:51,911 --> 00:00:53,878
I mean, why can't we just come
up with our own record to break?

25
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:56,013
Like some badass woman who
could really throw them back?

26
00:00:56,148 --> 00:00:58,845
You know, Judy Garland, Liz Taylor...

27
00:00:58,880 --> 00:00:59,817
Joan Crawford...

28
00:00:59,836 --> 00:01:00,951
Betty Ford!

29
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:02,836
No.

30
00:01:02,844 --> 00:01:05,172
Those are all sad examples of alcohol abuse.

31
00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:07,889
The Boggs thing just feels more fun,
you know?

32
00:01:07,924 --> 00:01:11,045
When women do it, it just feels sad.

33
00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:39,973
Okay. So, last time,
Mac was commissioner,

34
00:01:40,009 --> 00:01:41,776
but I figured I could
do that and participate

35
00:01:41,778 --> 00:01:44,445
because women are excellent multitaskers.

36
00:01:44,447 --> 00:01:45,913
What kind of plane is this?

37
00:01:45,982 --> 00:01:48,048
How come the coloreds
are allowed to sit up front

38
00:01:48,117 --> 00:01:50,384
with the whites and we're way back here?

39
00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:54,004
Wow. I never heard you talk so much.
Truly awful.

40
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,739
What is going on with her?
Why is she so perky?

41
00:01:55,775 --> 00:01:58,009
She ate all her nicotine patches already.

42
00:01:58,144 --> 00:02:00,277
Ate them? What?
You're not supposed to eat them.

43
00:02:00,313 --> 00:02:02,213
Oh, my God, there was a two-week supply.

44
00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:04,281
You know what? Who cares? Who cares?

45
00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:06,017
In that case, since you're all hopped up,

46
00:02:06,152 --> 00:02:08,268
you be the commissioner. Okay?

47
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,036
Just mark everybody's shirts
every time they finish a beer.

48
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,174
Hello ladies and ladies.

49
00:02:14,211 --> 00:02:16,043
- Yeah!
- My copilot Patricia and I

50
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:18,779
just wanted to welcome you
aboard our all-female flight

51
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:21,053
en route to the Women's March.

52
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:25,069
Hell yeah! Can't wait.

53
00:02:25,138 --> 00:02:27,071
Oh, no. Two women pilots.

54
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:28,939
- I'm getting out of here.
- No, no, no. S-Sit down.

55
00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:30,607
Sit down.
You're not getting... everything's fine.

56
00:02:30,643 --> 00:02:32,009
You're not getting off. Sit down.

57
00:02:32,078 --> 00:02:33,677
We're in mid-goddamn-air.
You know what? Drink your beer.

58
00:02:33,813 --> 00:02:37,214
That'll calm your nerves. My goodness. Okay.

59
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,816
Keep going like that,
we might have ourselves a real scrimmage.

60
00:02:39,852 --> 00:02:41,635
She's gonna be passed out by Indiana.

61
00:02:41,637 --> 00:02:43,370
Just mark her shirt off while
she's still in the game.

62
00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:55,449
Was not expecting this line.

63
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:56,984
Why do women pee so much?

64
00:02:56,986 --> 00:03:00,805
Uh, lady, thank you so much
for saving my spot.

65
00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:02,540
- I wasn't.
- All right, shut up.

66
00:03:02,675 --> 00:03:04,408
What's with this line? It hasn't moved.

67
00:03:04,543 --> 00:03:06,811
Excuse me, excuse me.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

68
00:03:08,591 --> 00:03:09,813
Mark me.

69
00:03:09,882 --> 00:03:11,815
All right. Nine, huh?

70
00:03:11,818 --> 00:03:12,817
- Yeah.
- Nine, Waitress.

71
00:03:12,952 --> 00:03:14,552
Very nice. I like that.

72
00:03:14,687 --> 00:03:15,836
Some record chugging. What's your secret?

73
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:18,439
- I'm an alcoholic.
- That'll do it.

74
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,840
Artemis, one? Only one? Come on.

75
00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:22,843
Just feels lazy and uninspired
to do exactly what the men did.

76
00:03:22,879 --> 00:03:25,445
Let's at least beat a female sports star.

77
00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:27,848
Ooh, I like that idea. Like who?

78
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,784
Secretariat?

79
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:31,569
The racehorse?

80
00:03:31,571 --> 00:03:33,537
I like that. Let's beat a Secretariat.

81
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,839
Mm, I don't like that she
was named after a secretary.

82
00:03:35,842 --> 00:03:37,875
She should be a boss. But fine.

83
00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:41,745
I don't get into this bathroom
soon I'm gonna shit my pants!

84
00:03:41,814 --> 00:03:45,616
Yes! Do it! See?
That's what I'm talking about.

85
00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:47,551
Gross-out humor.
It's like taking the original

86
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,504
to the next level. See?
Nobody expects that from women.

87
00:03:50,639 --> 00:03:51,806
It's so much more shocking, isn't it?

88
00:03:55,745 --> 00:03:57,778
Give me that, give me that,
give me that mark.

89
00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,513
Oh. Here we go.

90
00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:02,650
Yes. Thank you. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

91
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,852
- I need two more beers.
- We're out.

92
00:04:06,138 --> 00:04:07,470
No problemo.

93
00:04:07,507 --> 00:04:08,772
I planned for this.

94
00:04:11,355 --> 00:04:12,413
Mm-hmm.

95
00:04:12,945 --> 00:04:14,878
They don't check medical bags.

96
00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:16,864
See? The guys didn't do that last time.

97
00:04:16,883 --> 00:04:18,849
How's that for originality?

98
00:04:19,886 --> 00:04:21,801
What-what the hell?

99
00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:23,770
Where-where are my beers?

100
00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:26,574
Oh, I had to make room
for all my merchandise.

101
00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,442
Just, uh, crystals,
worry dolls, dream catchers,

102
00:04:28,577 --> 00:04:30,644
labia rings... your basics.

103
00:04:30,713 --> 00:04:33,714
I'm gonna make big money in California.

104
00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:35,227
- With this crap?
- Yeah.

105
00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:37,451
It's a land of sad,
lonely, desperate women

106
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,736
willing to pay any price
for fake spirituality

107
00:04:39,805 --> 00:04:41,539
and clean orgasms.

108
00:04:41,674 --> 00:04:43,359
Ooh, I want to... I-I want to 'gasm.

109
00:04:43,394 --> 00:04:44,675
See? Lookin' at my first customer.

110
00:04:44,677 --> 00:04:45,942
Yeah, okay, look, I love a scam.

111
00:04:45,978 --> 00:04:48,612
I-I love to scam pathetic,
sad, lonely women.

112
00:04:48,648 --> 00:04:49,813
But let's wait till we get to California.

113
00:04:49,849 --> 00:04:51,548
For now, I need to get you drunk.

114
00:04:51,584 --> 00:04:52,683
I need beers. Goddamn it.

115
00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:53,817
All right. Hey, hey!

116
00:04:53,953 --> 00:04:55,903
Hey, you! Servant!

117
00:04:55,905 --> 00:04:57,638
Hold on a sec. Servant.

118
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:58,839
Oh, dear God.

119
00:05:00,776 --> 00:05:02,442
How do I keep winding up with you people?

120
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:04,712
Do I know you?

121
00:05:04,714 --> 00:05:05,845
Do you...

122
00:05:05,882 --> 00:05:07,848
I used to work at Guigino's.

123
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,651
And then I moved to Minnesota

124
00:05:10,786 --> 00:05:12,670
and I waited on you guys at the Super Bowl.

125
00:05:13,873 --> 00:05:16,473
- Nothing? Mm?
- Nope.

126
00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,503
- Forget it, forget it, forget it.
- Nope. Nope.

127
00:05:18,538 --> 00:05:19,543
What can I do for ya?

128
00:05:19,545 --> 00:05:20,477
Hold on a second.

129
00:05:20,546 --> 00:05:21,612
How come you're a man servant?

130
00:05:21,747 --> 00:05:24,548
Shouldn't there be a woman servant
on an all-female flight?

131
00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:25,615
Well, it's "flight attendant,"

132
00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:27,017
and I actually volunteered,

133
00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:30,504
because I think women have been
disrespected for far too long

134
00:05:30,506 --> 00:05:33,707
and I wanted to honor them
and be their champion...

135
00:05:33,776 --> 00:05:35,709
Great. You're a soy boy beta cuck.

136
00:05:35,778 --> 00:05:37,266
- A what?
- Whatever.

137
00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:38,745
Look, uh, we're doing the Boggs thing.

138
00:05:38,781 --> 00:05:39,980
I don't know what that is.

139
00:05:40,867 --> 00:05:41,715
Wade Boggs.

140
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,784
Okay. Is that a person's name or...

141
00:05:43,919 --> 00:05:47,537
Doesn't matter. Uh, listen, we're gonna need
about 50 beers each, all right?

142
00:05:47,573 --> 00:05:48,738
And you can put it on the Boggs account.

143
00:05:48,774 --> 00:05:51,675
Just make sure you keep all the ladies
in the white tees lubricated.

144
00:05:51,711 --> 00:05:53,543
Okay. I'm afraid we don't have any beer,
is the thing.

145
00:05:53,579 --> 00:05:54,945
- What? What did you say?
- Yeah.

146
00:05:54,947 --> 00:05:57,681
Uh, in honor of the Women's March,
we are serving pink wine.

147
00:05:57,717 --> 00:05:59,416
So we only have rosé.

148
00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:00,483
- Right. Okay.
- Yeah.

149
00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:01,618
Cute. Great.

150
00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:03,503
Uh, we'll take a shit ton of pink wine.

151
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,872
- Thank you.
- Okay. You're welcome.

152
00:06:13,649 --> 00:06:15,382
Come on. I got news.

153
00:06:15,451 --> 00:06:16,583
I do, too, and it's bad news.

154
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:19,603
I just found out Secretariat was a boy.

155
00:06:19,738 --> 00:06:21,471
All racehorses are male.

156
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:24,675
I know, because I find them so attractive.

157
00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:28,411
Well, that's messed up.
Why-why woman horses can't race?

158
00:06:28,447 --> 00:06:29,480
They should be able...

159
00:06:29,615 --> 00:06:31,482
They can run just as fast as the boy horses.

160
00:06:31,617 --> 00:06:32,883
- That's not what we're ta...
- They should march.

161
00:06:32,885 --> 00:06:34,751
- Pussies on the track.
- Getting off track. That's not...

162
00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:36,503
- Pussies on the track.
- What are you doing?

163
00:06:36,505 --> 00:06:38,505
- Pussies on the track.
- Shut up! Stop it!

164
00:06:38,507 --> 00:06:41,575
- We should not drink in protest.
- Stop! Shut up! Okay?

165
00:06:41,577 --> 00:06:43,377
Shut up!

166
00:06:44,747 --> 00:06:47,581
It's all right. It's all right,
'cause I got a new plan.

167
00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:49,884
Okay? You guys need a female athlete?

168
00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:51,835
Check this out.

169
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:55,805
I happen to know that tennis
great Martina Navratilova

170
00:06:55,841 --> 00:06:58,809
drank 70 beers on a flight to L.A.,

171
00:06:58,811 --> 00:07:00,544
only to wake up the next morning

172
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:03,681
and beat her rival, Chris Evert,
at the California Open.

173
00:07:03,816 --> 00:07:05,615
- Mm, that's very impressive.
- Mm-hmm.

174
00:07:05,685 --> 00:07:08,568
So now we're gonna try to
beat Martina Tinatinova...

175
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:09,836
No, goddamn it! We're doing the Boggs thing.

176
00:07:09,872 --> 00:07:11,571
We're still doing the Boggs thing,

177
00:07:11,607 --> 00:07:14,574
but you're gonna use Martina
as your inspiration. See? Okay.

178
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,385
And we're also switching to pink wine.

179
00:07:16,485 --> 00:07:18,712
How's that, Artemis, for switching it up?
Trying new stuff?

180
00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:22,449
You can't just change one
small specific and call it new.

181
00:07:22,451 --> 00:07:24,517
- I changed three! The wine...
- We're still copying the men.

182
00:07:24,553 --> 00:07:26,603
the athlete, and the bag!

183
00:07:26,706 --> 00:07:29,472
- I will drink anything that you put in front of me.
- Okay!

184
00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:30,741
Well, there you go. Did you hear that?

185
00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,409
You happy? Okay, great.

186
00:07:32,544 --> 00:07:33,544
So, we're all settled.

187
00:07:33,546 --> 00:07:34,745
I just need to do a quick conversion

188
00:07:34,747 --> 00:07:37,414
because beer has a five
percent alcohol content

189
00:07:37,483 --> 00:07:39,616
and rosé has a 12% alcohol content.

190
00:07:39,652 --> 00:07:41,868
Oh, dear! Watching a woman
do math scares me!

191
00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:43,903
Okay, so every little
airplane bottle of wine

192
00:07:43,939 --> 00:07:45,705
will equal 2.4 beers,

193
00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:47,640
so we'd have to drink

194
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:51,378
29.17 bottles of wine
to equal 70 beers. Okay.

195
00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:54,848
So let's just call it
an even 29 to win. Good?

196
00:07:54,884 --> 00:07:56,850
Nerd.

197
00:08:04,543 --> 00:08:07,760
Oh... We're doing a good job
on those guys, huh? Mmm...

198
00:08:07,813 --> 00:08:10,613
Oh, yeah. We're tearing it up.
Tearing it up.

199
00:08:10,649 --> 00:08:14,484
Yeah. Okay. Whoo!

200
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,304
Man, it is sad that there
are only chicks on this plane

201
00:08:17,439 --> 00:08:19,440
'cause, I mean, I am all horned up.

202
00:08:19,575 --> 00:08:21,575
Well, there is a-a male servant.

203
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:22,709
Oh, yeah? Hot?

204
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,657
No. Soy boy beta cuck.

205
00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:27,781
I know, but, uh,
don't get distracted by that, okay?

206
00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:30,383
The main reason I picked
an all-female flight

207
00:08:30,419 --> 00:08:31,835
is because sex is how Dennis lost.

208
00:08:31,871 --> 00:08:34,510
Oh, Dennis? I-I like to hear about Dennis.

209
00:08:34,545 --> 00:08:35,339
Tell me more.

210
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:37,674
He and Frank, he...
they made a side bet, you know.

211
00:08:37,743 --> 00:08:38,942
See who could have sex.

212
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:41,545
And then Dennis ended up
banging this disgusting person,

213
00:08:41,614 --> 00:08:43,680
and then he got off at
North Dakota to avoid her.

214
00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:45,816
He was... He was the first one out.

215
00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:49,636
So-so Dennis had sex on the plane,
how-how many women?

216
00:08:49,672 --> 00:08:51,638
- Just the one. Again...
- Hm...

217
00:08:51,773 --> 00:08:52,822
don't get distracted by that.

218
00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:54,574
Well, I'm gonna beat his record.

219
00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:56,576
There's only one man on this flight.

220
00:08:56,612 --> 00:08:58,512
Okay, well, I will figure something out.

221
00:08:58,514 --> 00:09:00,780
No, no, no. Stop. Stop it, okay?
Kno-Knock it off.

222
00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:03,516
You're my Chris Evert.
You're my rival, okay?

223
00:09:03,552 --> 00:09:05,802
The only reason you're here
is so that my hatred of you

224
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:08,805
can fuel my desire to beat you, okay?

225
00:09:08,874 --> 00:09:10,607
So I need you staying in the game.

226
00:09:10,643 --> 00:09:13,477
Okay. Then I'm gonna beat you, you skank.

227
00:09:13,546 --> 00:09:15,473
Yes. that is the spirit.

228
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,615
The only way to beat men is by
competing against other women.

229
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,751
Here's to that.

230
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:28,621
Oh.

231
00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:31,645
- Oh, it hurts so much...
- Where the hell is he?

232
00:09:31,647 --> 00:09:33,846
- I dinged that goddamn thing ten years ago.
- Yeah.

233
00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:36,783
So the rose quartz is a healing gemstone,

234
00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:38,869
as well as the lapis lazuli.

235
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:42,472
And the goddess stone is
for putting up your snatch.

236
00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:44,407
- Only $70, ladies.
- All right. All right.

237
00:09:44,443 --> 00:09:45,809
What the hell is this shit?
What are you doing?

238
00:09:45,811 --> 00:09:47,410
I'm selling my sundries, okay?

239
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,614
Why wait for California
when I've got a captive audience right now?

240
00:09:50,616 --> 00:09:52,483
Here. Drink this.

241
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:55,602
Mm-mm.

242
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,321
What is that? Oh, my God.

243
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,440
Are you trying to poison me?
That's not alcohol.

244
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,494
No, it's my special "uni-tea."

245
00:10:03,546 --> 00:10:04,577
Well, it's selling like hotcakes.

246
00:10:04,613 --> 00:10:05,712
Drink up, ladies.

247
00:10:05,781 --> 00:10:07,381
It helps your prostate.

248
00:10:07,516 --> 00:10:09,383
Women don't have a prostate, goddammit.

249
00:10:09,518 --> 00:10:10,784
Or is that what men want you to believe?

250
00:10:10,786 --> 00:10:12,602
You're supposed to be drinking wines.

251
00:10:12,638 --> 00:10:14,704
You know, you're not supposed
to be selling vag rocks

252
00:10:14,773 --> 00:10:16,406
and-and shit tea.

253
00:10:16,475 --> 00:10:19,876
You ca... six?
Six is pathetic, even for you.

254
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:23,546
No, you know what's pathetic?
Is this Boggs ladies remake.

255
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:24,614
- Don't do that.
- Huh? Yeah, no.

256
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:26,683
I will do that. This Boggs is busted,

257
00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:28,669
'cause I'm doing my own thing now.

258
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,637
And it's empowering and communal.

259
00:10:30,772 --> 00:10:33,506
Next level shit, right, ladies?

260
00:10:33,576 --> 00:10:34,775
Not to mention I've
already taken these bitches

261
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,509
for three hundo, so, what?

262
00:10:36,545 --> 00:10:39,580
All right, goddammit,
Mrs. Mac, Artemis is out.

263
00:10:39,715 --> 00:10:42,582
Yeah. Out... of this world.

264
00:10:42,585 --> 00:10:43,917
Sw... Oh, okay.

265
00:10:43,919 --> 00:10:45,936
All right. Okay.

266
00:10:45,938 --> 00:10:47,537
Yeah.

267
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,474
Yeah, six is a yonic number,
I'm cool with it.

268
00:10:50,476 --> 00:10:52,609
Hey, who wants me to read their moon charts?

269
00:10:52,678 --> 00:10:53,876
- Oh, oh.
- Yes.

270
00:10:58,851 --> 00:11:01,751
Where's the goddamn drink slave?

271
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:03,737
Does anybody here do their job?

272
00:11:05,907 --> 00:11:08,508
Oh, hello, Deandra.

273
00:11:08,577 --> 00:11:10,843
Hey. 15, huh?

274
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,579
Nice. I underestimated you, champ.

275
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,781
I'm trying to find the guy
to get us some more drinks

276
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,650
to calm your nerves, but I think...

277
00:11:16,652 --> 00:11:18,668
Oh, I don't need any more. I found a man

278
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,437
to help me feel safe.

279
00:11:20,439 --> 00:11:21,872
- Who, the waiter?
- No.

280
00:11:21,874 --> 00:11:23,507
A real man.

281
00:11:29,725 --> 00:11:30,547
Yo!

282
00:11:30,616 --> 00:11:33,350
Frank. What...
What the hell are you doing here?

283
00:11:33,419 --> 00:11:34,484
I'm posting up.

284
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,436
I figure a plane full of broads,

285
00:11:36,438 --> 00:11:37,771
there's gonna be a lot of horny women,

286
00:11:37,773 --> 00:11:40,774
so I'm like a spider waiting
back here to catch some flies.

287
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,642
No. No, goddamn it.

288
00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:43,777
This is my all-female version.

289
00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:45,445
You're not supposed to be here.

290
00:11:45,481 --> 00:11:47,647
Whe... In every reboot
you gotta have somebody

291
00:11:47,716 --> 00:11:49,716
from the original to make a cameo.

292
00:11:49,851 --> 00:11:51,451
- No.
- Hey.

293
00:11:51,487 --> 00:11:52,669
I heard there's a man back here.

294
00:11:52,705 --> 00:11:55,405
Oh. Nope. It's just you.

295
00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:56,873
- Want to rumble?
- No, I don't,

296
00:11:56,875 --> 00:12:00,544
but I do want to beat Dennis,
so just pop it in.

297
00:12:03,549 --> 00:12:05,616
I'm gonna need more wine.

298
00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:07,351
Whoa, whoa, whoa, drink slave.

299
00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:08,618
Been looking all over the damn plane.

300
00:12:08,737 --> 00:12:09,836
I need more five more bottles.

301
00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:11,371
Sorry, that is not possible.

302
00:12:11,506 --> 00:12:14,374
One of our premier passengers just bought
the rest of the bottles on the plane.

303
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,709
What? Who?

304
00:12:17,066 --> 00:12:19,645
Whoa. Coach people
are not allowed in first class.

305
00:12:19,682 --> 00:12:21,381
Oh.

306
00:12:21,516 --> 00:12:23,517
Okay, so I'm a second-class person?

307
00:12:23,652 --> 00:12:25,702
- Mm.
- Is that 'cause I'm a woman?

308
00:12:25,721 --> 00:12:27,403
- Did you hear that, ladies?
- That's not what I said.

309
00:12:27,439 --> 00:12:28,538
Oh, Oh, my God!

310
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,474
Did you just try and slap me in my face?

311
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,344
- No.
- Oh, you better say cheese, buddy,

312
00:12:34,479 --> 00:12:36,546
'cause you're about to go viral.

313
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,548
- Got to connect the Wi-Fi...
- Oh, she picked up.

314
00:12:38,617 --> 00:12:40,883
- Oh, hi, Dee.
- Hey. Hi.

315
00:12:40,919 --> 00:12:42,569
What are you guys doing on my phone?

316
00:12:43,739 --> 00:12:45,505
How many checks do you have on your...

317
00:12:45,574 --> 00:12:46,840
- It's only got 20-20 beers.
- No.

318
00:12:46,909 --> 00:12:49,509
- We knew you wouldn't do it.
- No, 20 wines. I sw...

319
00:12:49,578 --> 00:12:50,844
- We had to switch to wine.
- Three beers. Three beers.

320
00:12:50,846 --> 00:12:52,512
- They ran out of the beers.
- We knew you wouldn't do it.

321
00:12:52,548 --> 00:12:54,581
Wine has a higher blood alcohol content.

322
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,850
They switched to wine
'cause of Women's March.

323
00:12:57,886 --> 00:12:59,736
- There is no smoking in here.
- A higher blood alcohol...

324
00:12:59,772 --> 00:13:01,404
Whoever's in there...
Is this a friend of yours?

325
00:13:01,407 --> 00:13:02,639
- Who is this?
- Oh, my God.

326
00:13:02,708 --> 00:13:04,340
- Goddamn it, Mrs. Mac.
- Hello?

327
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:05,475
Hello?

328
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,811
- It's the women pilots!
- What? No.

329
00:13:07,813 --> 00:13:10,747
Oh, we're all gonna crash!

330
00:13:10,766 --> 00:13:12,482
No, we're not. Ma'am. Ma'am.

331
00:13:12,484 --> 00:13:14,350
I've got to get out of here!

332
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:16,702
- We're fine, calm down.
- You've got to take over the controls!

333
00:13:16,739 --> 00:13:18,638
All right, where's the wine?

334
00:13:18,707 --> 00:13:21,374
Which one of you
first-class assholes decided

335
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:22,642
to go and take all the wine?

336
00:13:22,711 --> 00:13:24,577
'Cause I'm gonna be needing
a fe-a few of 'em back.

337
00:13:24,613 --> 00:13:25,779
Looking for this?

338
00:13:30,486 --> 00:13:31,718
- Snail?
- Yeah.

339
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,470
Heard you were doing the
Boggs Soggs lady reboot thing.

340
00:13:34,506 --> 00:13:36,406
Did you lose my invitation?

341
00:13:36,408 --> 00:13:37,607
No. You weren't invited.

342
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:40,476
Come on. You don't want the coolest chick
in the world around?

343
00:13:40,512 --> 00:13:42,612
You're so jealous, obvi.

344
00:13:42,748 --> 00:13:45,681
I'm not jealous of you, I didn't invite you
because you're the worst.

345
00:13:45,718 --> 00:13:47,700
Oh, really?
'Cause I'm gonna ruin your game now.

346
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:48,901
Good luck beating the guys.

347
00:13:48,937 --> 00:13:51,771
You're stuck at 20,
'cause I bought all the wine.

348
00:13:51,774 --> 00:13:53,706
Mm-mmm.

349
00:13:53,742 --> 00:13:55,642
- I'm gonna salt you, Snail! Back!
- Mm-mmm... Mm!

350
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:58,378
Stop it! Help me!

351
00:13:58,513 --> 00:14:00,647
- Stewardess!
- Oh, what now?

352
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:10,406
Oh, wine. May I borrow this?

353
00:14:10,442 --> 00:14:12,742
Thank you.

354
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:14,544
She's gone full Judy Garland.

355
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,346
Isn't it glorious?

356
00:14:16,415 --> 00:14:17,881
All right.
Well, you don't do the mic thing, though.

357
00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:26,306
but when you do it,
it just seems to be depressing and sad.

358
00:14:26,441 --> 00:14:30,310
That's because when women drink,
it is depressing and sad.

359
00:14:30,445 --> 00:14:33,446
I had sex in the bathroom with Frank,

360
00:14:33,449 --> 00:14:37,450
and now I'm in a shame spiral.

361
00:14:37,453 --> 00:14:38,585
I'm gonna drink myself to death.

362
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,671
Okay, there you go.
Whatever keeps you going.

363
00:14:41,807 --> 00:14:44,407
Stand up, though, okay?
Stand up, though, Waitress.

364
00:14:44,476 --> 00:14:46,810
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no. Stay with me. Hey.

365
00:14:46,879 --> 00:14:49,479
- Stay with me. Hang in there.
- Dennis.

366
00:14:49,548 --> 00:14:51,547
Not Dennis! Don't-don't do...

367
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,549
Don't touch me, okay? Wake up. We're not...

368
00:14:53,585 --> 00:14:56,369
Goddamn it.
We're not even halfway to California.

369
00:14:56,505 --> 00:14:59,705
Step aside, Dee, and let me do my job.

370
00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:01,641
Fine. Goddamn it.

371
00:15:13,472 --> 00:15:15,405
Giving up so easy?

372
00:15:17,509 --> 00:15:19,609
Martina Navratilova?

373
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:22,648
I never thought you'd give
up when you're so close

374
00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:23,680
to beating the record.

375
00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:25,548
I can't do it, Marty.

376
00:15:25,617 --> 00:15:27,750
- Don't call me that.
- Well, I'm all out of booze,

377
00:15:27,786 --> 00:15:29,502
and I'm all out of motivation.

378
00:15:29,538 --> 00:15:32,128
Right? 'Cause my competition
pussed out, up there.

379
00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:33,906
And this one back here.

380
00:15:34,669 --> 00:15:36,842
It was my hatred for them
that kept me going.

381
00:15:36,879 --> 00:15:39,379
It's not about hating your opponent.

382
00:15:39,514 --> 00:15:41,715
Chris Evert and I were
actually good friends.

383
00:15:41,717 --> 00:15:43,649
We'd play a hard match,

384
00:15:43,685 --> 00:15:45,669
but then go out for dinner after.

385
00:15:45,804 --> 00:15:48,738
Male opponents had the
luxury of hating each other.

386
00:15:48,774 --> 00:15:51,608
But, as women, we had to stick together

387
00:15:51,610 --> 00:15:53,610
to fight for the respect we deserve

388
00:15:53,612 --> 00:15:55,745
and grow the sport.

389
00:15:55,814 --> 00:15:57,814
- Get it?
- Yeah.

390
00:15:57,949 --> 00:15:59,883
You and Chris were...

391
00:15:59,952 --> 00:16:01,618
No.

392
00:16:01,687 --> 00:16:03,303
- No.
- No.

393
00:16:03,438 --> 00:16:05,505
- Okay, I don't get it.
- You and your friends need to...

394
00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:07,307
- You know what? Forget it.
- What?

395
00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:08,575
You're using me as inspiration,

396
00:16:08,644 --> 00:16:10,509
but you don't know anything about me.

397
00:16:10,546 --> 00:16:12,779
- I don't even look like this.
- Yeah, you do.

398
00:16:12,914 --> 00:16:16,583
No, it's just your imagination
filling in the blanks.

399
00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:18,852
Really?

400
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:21,470
Now you're imagining me as Lori Petty

401
00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:22,739
in A League of Their Own.

402
00:16:22,808 --> 00:16:24,607
That was a good female reboot.

403
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:26,542
No, it was its own thing.

404
00:16:26,578 --> 00:16:29,412
And just so you know, I never drank 70 beers

405
00:16:29,481 --> 00:16:31,815
before winning the California Open.

406
00:16:31,817 --> 00:16:33,683
That's not even a real event.

407
00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:36,536
Your whole hallucination is a mess.

408
00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:38,471
Who cares? Tennis is boring.

409
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,539
Let's face it,
I'm not gonna find my Chris Evert

410
00:16:40,576 --> 00:16:41,674
in this sea of duds.

411
00:16:41,743 --> 00:16:43,610
It's over.

412
00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:47,547
Deandra, you should have let
them crazy boys do this.

413
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:48,681
Well, now, don't you start.

414
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:50,549
I'll be your Chris Evert.

415
00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:52,769
No, get out of here, Snail.
I don't respect you.

416
00:16:52,838 --> 00:16:54,437
Oh, yeah? Well, respect this.

417
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:55,905
I've been playing the game the whole time.

418
00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:58,441
You're one behind me, loser.

419
00:16:59,403 --> 00:17:00,477
Snail.

420
00:17:03,257 --> 00:17:05,514
Let's do this.

421
00:17:15,877 --> 00:17:18,812
Too much spit.

422
00:17:18,814 --> 00:17:21,347
Ah, I did it! I did it.

423
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,683
I'm Mar-I'm Martina!

424
00:17:23,818 --> 00:17:26,503
It's okay, baby girl. It's over.

425
00:17:26,638 --> 00:17:28,438
I know it's over.

426
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,639
'Cause I beat Martina.

427
00:17:29,641 --> 00:17:31,507
I beat Boggs.

428
00:17:31,576 --> 00:17:33,509
I'm about to beat all of 'em.

429
00:17:33,578 --> 00:17:35,511
No. It's over.

430
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:38,781
I'm pulling the plug on
your male hand-me-down plot.

431
00:17:38,817 --> 00:17:41,450
As women, we deserve better.

432
00:17:41,486 --> 00:17:43,670
We deserve our own story.

433
00:17:45,121 --> 00:17:46,071
What is happening?

434
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:50,410
That tea that I served
was spiked with ayahuasca.

435
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,708
Oh, no!

436
00:18:04,843 --> 00:18:06,642
It's coming out both ends.

437
00:18:08,847 --> 00:18:10,714
The maximum gross-out.

438
00:18:10,849 --> 00:18:13,716
So nobody saw that coming from women.

439
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,149
God, wha... What is going on?
I'm tripping so hard.

440
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:31,340
Where are we?

441
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:32,552
Are we in L.A.?

442
00:18:32,554 --> 00:18:34,637
- No. We're in North Dakota.
- Mm.

443
00:18:34,673 --> 00:18:37,373
And only those passengers deemed fit to fly

444
00:18:37,376 --> 00:18:39,309
will go on to Los Angeles.

445
00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:40,710
And you're not one of them.

446
00:18:40,779 --> 00:18:42,445
- No.
- Oh. Wait.

447
00:18:42,447 --> 00:18:44,447
One more thing.

448
00:18:44,466 --> 00:18:45,749
Mm...

449
00:18:48,787 --> 00:18:50,669
Okay.

450
00:18:50,706 --> 00:18:52,539
Bye-bye. Thank you for flying with us.

451
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,714
California, USA.

452
00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:05,652
- Meh.
- Mmm...

453
00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:13,309
Meh.

454
00:19:47,313 --> 00:19:49,313
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com