1 00:00:00,608 --> 00:00:02,374 which means we are officially 2 00:00:02,443 --> 00:00:04,510 - on island time. - Oh, yeah. 3 00:00:04,512 --> 00:00:06,445 - Yeah, baby. Whoo-wee! - Here we go. 4 00:00:06,581 --> 00:00:08,190 - Island time. - Ah, Frank. 5 00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:09,407 I'm so excited about this concert. 6 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:10,516 - Thank you for the tickets. - Yeah. 7 00:00:10,518 --> 00:00:11,717 - Oh, I love Jimmy Buffett. - Oh, yeah. 8 00:00:11,786 --> 00:00:14,716 And those Parrothead broads, they're wild. 9 00:00:14,751 --> 00:00:15,671 - I noticed that, they're nuts. - Yeah, yeah. 10 00:00:15,707 --> 00:00:18,832 - They are wild. - I hope he plays "The Pi?a Colada Song," man. 11 00:00:18,867 --> 00:00:19,742 - Oh, yeah, that's the best. - I gotta hear it. 12 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,877 Yeah, I wish he would, too, but he won't, 13 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,612 'cause that's, uh, that's not Buffett. 14 00:00:23,681 --> 00:00:25,481 - Huh? - Yeah, no. H-He does. 15 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:26,749 It's, uh, the one that goes, 16 00:00:32,674 --> 00:00:34,373 Yeah, no, I know the song, I know the song, 17 00:00:34,508 --> 00:00:36,509 but it's sung by a man named Rupert Holmes. 18 00:00:36,644 --> 00:00:38,926 - Who? - Are you sure? I feel like that's Buffett. 19 00:00:38,961 --> 00:00:40,369 We've been going to see Buffett for 20 years. 20 00:00:40,404 --> 00:00:41,275 Have you ever heard him play it? 21 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:43,583 No, but he's not gonna play all of his hits every single time. 22 00:00:43,718 --> 00:00:45,649 Yeah, no, he is. That's what he does. 23 00:00:45,684 --> 00:00:47,099 That's actually the only thing he does. 24 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,671 And that's just not one of them, but, hey, listen, buddy, 25 00:00:48,806 --> 00:00:50,473 you want to hear that song, you go ahead 26 00:00:50,475 --> 00:00:52,608 and request away. I won't stop you. 27 00:00:57,782 --> 00:00:59,615 Oh, I hope he plays that one. 28 00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:01,750 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all do. - Yeah, he won't, he won't. 29 00:01:01,786 --> 00:01:04,370 - W-Were you in the women's room? - Mm-hmm. 30 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,772 - Well, don't do that. Don't use my bathroom. - Why not? 31 00:01:06,774 --> 00:01:08,707 'Cause it's my bathroom, and you're a man. 32 00:01:08,743 --> 00:01:10,575 Oh, no. Well, now, as a gay man, 33 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,511 I just feel more comfortable in the ladies' room. 34 00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:13,779 Oh, come on, the... with the gay thing again. 35 00:01:13,914 --> 00:01:15,714 Like, look, it makes me uncomfortable 36 00:01:15,783 --> 00:01:17,650 that you're in there using my bathroom. How about that? 37 00:01:17,752 --> 00:01:21,220 Look, the whole men's and women's bathroom thing is antiquated. 38 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,671 - Maybe you're antiquated. - Maybe I'm... 39 00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:24,540 Get off me! Get off me! 40 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:25,741 - Get him off me! - Settle down. 41 00:01:25,743 --> 00:01:26,809 Don't. Come on. L-L-Listen... 42 00:01:26,811 --> 00:01:28,344 I know, I know, listen. 43 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,346 We always do this. We... 44 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,548 We always get in some major tiff right before Buffett, 45 00:01:32,617 --> 00:01:34,616 and then, you know, it just, it just ruins 46 00:01:34,652 --> 00:01:36,635 - the whole island vibe, you know? - Yeah. 47 00:01:36,671 --> 00:01:39,359 Come on. We're not doing that this time. 48 00:01:39,394 --> 00:01:40,640 All right? This whole bathroom issue 49 00:01:40,775 --> 00:01:42,842 is a simple problem with a simple solution. 50 00:01:42,844 --> 00:01:46,578 So why don't we just sit here and let's just figure it out. 51 00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:15,107 All right, now we're talking. 52 00:02:15,143 --> 00:02:16,976 I tell ya, there's never been a problem so big, 53 00:02:17,111 --> 00:02:19,445 couldn't be solved by a late night and a little Chinese takeout. 54 00:02:19,447 --> 00:02:21,313 We should've got cheeseburgers. 55 00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:25,070 Well, Frank, you know, I'm saving my cheeseburgers for paradise. 56 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,137 - I get it. - That is Buffett, that one, right? 57 00:02:28,139 --> 00:02:29,472 - Yeah, that's Buffett. - That's Buffett, okay, cool. 58 00:02:29,474 --> 00:02:32,408 Uh, if I may go first. I'd like to go first. 59 00:02:32,477 --> 00:02:34,343 Oh, are we doing the whole stand up...? 60 00:02:34,478 --> 00:02:36,212 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's gonna do it. 61 00:02:36,347 --> 00:02:38,147 Now, guys, I believe that as a gay man, 62 00:02:38,149 --> 00:02:39,281 I should be able to use the women's bathroom 63 00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:41,483 because I feel more comfortable around women. 64 00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:44,437 - Okay, why? - Well, "A," we both like dudes, 65 00:02:44,439 --> 00:02:47,172 and "B," we both find women's bodies disgusting, 66 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,108 - so there's no hanky-panky. - Well, that tracks. 67 00:02:49,177 --> 00:02:50,242 - Yeah, sure, that makes sense. - Yeah, yeah. 68 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,443 Done! I'm using the ladies' bathroom, right? 69 00:02:51,479 --> 00:02:53,245 N-n-n-n-n-n... My turn. 70 00:02:53,314 --> 00:02:55,047 - My turn, right? - Oh, do you have to...? 71 00:02:55,182 --> 00:02:56,315 - The floor is yours. - I thought Mac just solved it. 72 00:02:56,317 --> 00:02:58,116 - No. No, no. - No. - All right. 73 00:02:58,152 --> 00:03:02,210 Okay, "A," not all women like dudes... lesbians, 74 00:03:02,245 --> 00:03:05,073 for example... and, "B," I find you disgusting. 75 00:03:05,109 --> 00:03:07,075 I don't want men pooping next to me. 76 00:03:07,111 --> 00:03:08,944 - Would you let a trans woman go in there? - Of course I would. 77 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,278 - But not me? - No, not you, because you're a man. 78 00:03:10,314 --> 00:03:12,081 You're a gay man, but you're still a man. 79 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,015 I don't know why you're being such a bitch 80 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:16,151 about this, Dee. I've been pooping next to you for months. 81 00:03:16,187 --> 00:03:18,187 - What are you talking about? - You've been in the stall next to me. 82 00:03:18,338 --> 00:03:20,439 I-I recognize you from those pink heels you have. 83 00:03:20,475 --> 00:03:23,261 - I don't own pink heels. - Yes, you do. 84 00:03:23,296 --> 00:03:26,084 The ones with the straps that, that makes those giant feet 85 00:03:26,119 --> 00:03:27,112 look so dainty and cute. 86 00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:28,380 Mac, I don't know what you're talking about. 87 00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:30,115 Mm, uh... 88 00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:32,449 Okay, um... 89 00:03:33,337 --> 00:03:38,207 All right, uh, I think I can actually explain this. 90 00:03:40,211 --> 00:03:43,212 Uh, Charlie, I do hope that the explaining you're gonna do 91 00:03:43,281 --> 00:03:46,415 is about why this bathroom is so much cleaner than ours. 92 00:03:46,417 --> 00:03:48,483 Don't worry about it, this is the last time you're gonna be in here. 93 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:50,102 Charlie, what is taking so long? 94 00:03:50,237 --> 00:03:51,237 Give me a minute. Give me a minute! 95 00:03:51,239 --> 00:03:52,304 Uh... 96 00:03:52,373 --> 00:03:53,505 Oh, there they are. 97 00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:55,240 Those are the pink heels I was talking about. 98 00:03:55,309 --> 00:03:56,508 Charlie, are you a cross-dresser? 99 00:03:56,544 --> 00:03:58,377 No. I just like to use the women's bathroom, 100 00:03:58,512 --> 00:04:01,247 because it's, you know, it's quieter, it's less crowded. 101 00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:02,380 And very clean. 102 00:04:02,417 --> 00:04:04,049 Yeah, and, look, I-I just, 103 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,117 whatever, I slip on the heels, 104 00:04:05,186 --> 00:04:06,452 in case someone looked under the stall. 105 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,203 I didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. 106 00:04:08,272 --> 00:04:11,072 - That's it. - Okay. But what's with the wig? 107 00:04:13,013 --> 00:04:15,144 Come on. Don't make me do the whole thing. 108 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,013 The wig is just in case someone peeks over the top. 109 00:04:18,149 --> 00:04:19,281 How about the dress, bud? 110 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,460 Goddamn it. It... 111 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:24,169 - Oh! - Whoa. Whoa. 112 00:04:24,205 --> 00:04:27,239 Okay, okay. Look, the dress just ties the whole look together, so, you know. 113 00:04:27,275 --> 00:04:28,507 You are a cross-dresser. 114 00:04:28,509 --> 00:04:32,010 No, I'm not. Look, I was raised by a single mother, you know. 115 00:04:32,046 --> 00:04:34,246 And we were always on the go, and sometimes, 116 00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:37,192 we'd be at, like, a museum, or, you know, a stadium, 117 00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,184 and I'd have to go to the bathroom, and my mom wasn't 118 00:04:39,253 --> 00:04:41,203 gonna put me in the men's room by myself, 119 00:04:41,272 --> 00:04:42,471 so she carried around a dress with her. 120 00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:45,207 She would slip it on, and I would go in and out 121 00:04:45,209 --> 00:04:47,142 of the women's bathroom and no one would notice. 122 00:04:47,178 --> 00:04:48,544 And then, you know, as the years went by, 123 00:04:48,546 --> 00:04:50,412 I just got more comfortable pooping 124 00:04:50,481 --> 00:04:53,349 with a dress, so whatever, it's not that weird. 125 00:04:53,351 --> 00:04:55,351 - Hold on, though, it's very, very weird. - It is so weird. 126 00:04:55,353 --> 00:04:57,202 Look, lots of people do it. It's... 127 00:04:57,205 --> 00:04:58,270 - I doubt it. - I don't know anybody. 128 00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:00,139 - Uh, no. - Not one person on the planet. 129 00:05:00,141 --> 00:05:01,273 It is what it is, I mean, 130 00:05:01,408 --> 00:05:03,142 it's the only way I can poop, so... 131 00:05:03,277 --> 00:05:05,010 - Oh, okay. - I guess it is what it is. 132 00:05:05,046 --> 00:05:06,212 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - It is what it is, and it is very strange, 133 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,412 but it does bring up an interesting point. 134 00:05:07,448 --> 00:05:09,148 You see, Dee, you did mention moments ago 135 00:05:09,283 --> 00:05:10,415 that you would be comfortable having 136 00:05:10,485 --> 00:05:12,218 a transgender woman use your bathroom. 137 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,301 Of course I would, so what? 138 00:05:13,337 --> 00:05:15,237 - Well... - No. That's not, 139 00:05:15,239 --> 00:05:17,105 that's not the same thing, he's not transgender. 140 00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:19,040 Well, no. He's-he's not transgender, 141 00:05:19,076 --> 00:05:21,443 but he identifies as a woman when he poops. 142 00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:24,046 No. No. Goddamn it, you're only saying that 143 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,247 'cause my bathroom's nicer. 144 00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:27,249 No, no. I-I think, I think Mac is right. 145 00:05:27,251 --> 00:05:29,251 I think this system is antiquated, and I think... 146 00:05:29,253 --> 00:05:30,402 - Is that, is that a hand dryer? - Oh, damn. 147 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,271 - Yeah, there's a hand dryer in here. - Oh, goddamn it. 148 00:05:32,964 --> 00:05:34,206 Well, let's vote. All those in favor. 149 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,009 - Aye. - No. Goddamn it. 150 00:05:37,078 --> 00:05:38,944 Nice. Okay, well, I knew we could solve it, guys. 151 00:05:39,079 --> 00:05:41,479 - This is great. - And then should we also change the signs on the doors 152 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,349 to reflect that it's not a boys' room 153 00:05:43,484 --> 00:05:45,284 - and a girls' room anymore? - Right. Yeah, no. 154 00:05:45,286 --> 00:05:46,551 We'll pop some new signs on there real fast. 155 00:05:46,571 --> 00:05:49,230 You know, so it's clear that any gender can use any bathroom. 156 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,039 - Yeah, yeah. - How hard could that be? 157 00:05:51,108 --> 00:05:53,108 - The dress is making me have to poop really bad, so I'm gonna... - Okay, let's do it. 158 00:05:53,244 --> 00:05:54,310 - Oh, goddamn it. - Gotta poop, gotta poop. 159 00:06:03,324 --> 00:06:05,295 Wait, wait, wait, wait. So, I'm sorry, 160 00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:06,472 what's wrong with this one again? 161 00:06:06,607 --> 00:06:08,407 Well, I think it's confusing, is what the problem is. 162 00:06:08,476 --> 00:06:09,841 - Mm. Mm-hmm. - Like, maybe we need words or something. 163 00:06:09,844 --> 00:06:11,477 Well, also, like, what's with the floating starfish 164 00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:12,478 trying to eat the rock? 165 00:06:12,613 --> 00:06:13,745 - That's a baby. - That's a baby? 166 00:06:13,814 --> 00:06:15,681 - Yes, that's a... - That's a baby? 167 00:06:15,816 --> 00:06:17,749 So, now what's happening, you got wheelchair guy's back there 168 00:06:17,818 --> 00:06:20,502 throwing babies around trying to get them in wheelchairs? 169 00:06:20,538 --> 00:06:21,703 - It's confusing. - Okay, all right. 170 00:06:21,739 --> 00:06:23,639 So what if I cover up the baby, how about now? 171 00:06:23,641 --> 00:06:24,840 I don't get it. Now it looks like you either got to be 172 00:06:24,909 --> 00:06:27,710 in a wheelchair or a he-she to go poop in there. 173 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,778 - No, no, no, no, Frank, come on, don't say "he-she." - What? 174 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:30,779 - It's hermaphrodite. - Oh, nope. 175 00:06:30,915 --> 00:06:33,515 Dee, you can't say that anymore, either. 176 00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:35,517 - It's intersex. - Well, this is all confusing. 177 00:06:35,586 --> 00:06:36,835 Why do I have to keep learning new things? 178 00:06:36,937 --> 00:06:38,553 How about this? 179 00:06:38,573 --> 00:06:40,539 We'll call the bathrooms gender neutral. 180 00:06:40,674 --> 00:06:42,540 That makes me uncomfortable, because I'm not neutral 181 00:06:42,577 --> 00:06:43,876 - about my gender. - Mm. 182 00:06:44,011 --> 00:06:45,811 - So now you're uncomfortable, okay. - Okay. 183 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,682 We put one sign on each door, both of them say "gender fluid." 184 00:06:49,684 --> 00:06:51,950 Right. 'Cause that-that implies, like, you're this, 185 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,570 - you're that. - I don't know. I don't like thinking about gender fluids. 186 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,838 Like, just, uh, it's a gross image to me. 187 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:57,839 - All right. Well... - You know what? Look, look. 188 00:06:57,909 --> 00:06:59,708 It's just all so confusing. 189 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,710 You know, we got to make this much simpler. 190 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,778 I have an idea, if I could just go do one that I think will 191 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,715 - clear it all up. - Great. Go for it, buddy. Hop to it. 192 00:07:06,751 --> 00:07:08,383 All right, do it, yeah. 193 00:07:08,452 --> 00:07:09,517 - Quick. - Is the Internet working? 194 00:07:09,553 --> 00:07:10,669 - Hmm... - Well, hang on. Hey. 195 00:07:10,671 --> 00:07:11,870 Yes, but you stay off it. You stay... 196 00:07:11,872 --> 00:07:13,538 - No. No. - No, no. I'm just... 197 00:07:13,574 --> 00:07:14,673 You crashed our last three laptops, man. 198 00:07:14,742 --> 00:07:16,342 - You are not doing it again. - Bring it out here. 199 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:17,609 Do it out here where we can see what you're doing. 200 00:07:17,678 --> 00:07:19,545 - No, I'll do it in the office. - Do it in front of us. 201 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,679 It'll take me, like, two minutes. Two minutes. 202 00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:22,348 - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - You go fast. 203 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,474 - I'm-I'm finished. 204 00:07:24,509 --> 00:07:25,884 - I'm finally finished. - Oh, God. It's about time. - Goddamn it. 205 00:07:25,886 --> 00:07:27,636 - He's limping. - Are you chafed? 206 00:07:27,638 --> 00:07:29,704 - He's chafed. - Huh? Oh, yeah. Super chafed. Hey, do you know 207 00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,757 how to get Russian malware out of a computer? 208 00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:33,575 - No. - Wait. - Then the computer's broken. 209 00:07:33,711 --> 00:07:35,377 - Yeah. - Yeah. - Aw! 210 00:07:35,446 --> 00:07:37,340 - Yeah, but the sign's done. - All right, man. 211 00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,404 Let's see what you got. 212 00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:40,194 What do you think? 213 00:07:40,685 --> 00:07:42,584 Well, I don't know what I'm looking at. 214 00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:43,736 Yeah. What-what am I seeing here? 215 00:07:43,871 --> 00:07:45,471 It's just dicks. 216 00:07:45,606 --> 00:07:46,605 - No. There's... I mean, yes. - Oh. 217 00:07:46,607 --> 00:07:47,673 There are a couple of dicks, but... 218 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:48,807 - It's mostly dicks. - That's a lot of dicks. 219 00:07:48,942 --> 00:07:50,409 - Oh, now... now all I see is dicks. - Mm-hmm. 220 00:07:50,544 --> 00:07:53,611 No, there's also pictures of road kill and roast beef sandwiches 221 00:07:53,648 --> 00:07:56,482 to accurately depict what a vagina looks like. 222 00:07:58,819 --> 00:08:00,769 - Okay. - Anyone else uncomfortable? 223 00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,572 All right. Moving on. 224 00:08:03,574 --> 00:08:05,641 All right. I'm just gonna go back to the office. 225 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,443 - No, you stay here. - No. No, no, no. No! 226 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,477 You are not going back to the... 227 00:08:11,817 --> 00:08:13,149 - Yeah. - All right, all right. 228 00:08:13,184 --> 00:08:14,650 So, this... I think this covers it all, right? 229 00:08:14,652 --> 00:08:16,719 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that. There's the man. 230 00:08:16,754 --> 00:08:18,006 - Uh-huh. - The woman. 231 00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:19,666 - Mm-hmm. - That's the he-shes, 232 00:08:19,701 --> 00:08:21,693 or the interspecies, whatever it is. 233 00:08:21,728 --> 00:08:24,017 - Yeah, whatever you said. - And this is Christians, 234 00:08:24,052 --> 00:08:25,544 - Muslims. - I assume 235 00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,880 the dollar sign is meant to represent Jews? 236 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,547 Well, it ain't the Mormons. 237 00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:31,533 - Uh... - Let's not get into that. 238 00:08:31,568 --> 00:08:32,484 Okay, you know what? 239 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,618 - Why-why are we bringing...? - I was against it. Yeah. 240 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,704 Why are we bringing religion into this at all? 241 00:08:35,839 --> 00:08:37,572 Because I want to know who's in there, 242 00:08:37,608 --> 00:08:39,508 - because it'll make me feel safer. - Oh, goddamn. 243 00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,976 Can we please put two signs on the doors? 244 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,779 - Both signs say "toilet." - Yeah... 245 00:08:43,781 --> 00:08:46,089 - Oh. - There's a toilet in there, 246 00:08:46,124 --> 00:08:47,649 and that's all you really need to know. 247 00:08:47,651 --> 00:08:49,117 - That's a good point. I think that would work. - Could say "toilet," 248 00:08:49,186 --> 00:08:50,536 - and then it's kind of your choice which one you use. - Just "toilet." 249 00:08:50,671 --> 00:08:51,803 That actually does work. 250 00:08:51,872 --> 00:08:53,872 - I feel like that totally works. - Yeah. - We solved it? 251 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,607 - Okay, great. We so... - Did we do it? - We solved it! 252 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:56,941 - We solved it! - Oh! Right! God! 253 00:08:56,977 --> 00:08:58,676 - Let's get the hell out of here. - All right. 254 00:08:58,713 --> 00:08:59,878 I think it was my idea, but, yeah. 255 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,546 Oh, you son of a bitch. Just go. 256 00:09:01,615 --> 00:09:02,881 - I think I said it first. - Just go. 257 00:09:02,883 --> 00:09:05,737 You guys, you go, and I'll-I'll lock up, okay? 258 00:09:05,772 --> 00:09:07,660 I've had Chinese food. It wants out, so... 259 00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:08,704 - Yeah. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 260 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,639 Why aren't you using the good bathroom? 261 00:09:10,641 --> 00:09:12,374 Well, 'cause I'm about to do some real damage. 262 00:09:12,443 --> 00:09:14,376 I don't... I don't want to do it in the good bathroom. 263 00:09:14,445 --> 00:09:15,577 Well, I'm-I'm uncomfortable with that. 264 00:09:15,646 --> 00:09:17,729 - How? - So close. 265 00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:18,580 We were so close. 266 00:09:18,616 --> 00:09:20,516 Well, because I just don't want to share my bathroom 267 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,584 - with a bunch of broads. - What happened, Frank? 268 00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:24,669 - We decided we were all cool with it. - We were fine. 269 00:09:24,739 --> 00:09:27,606 I didn't know she was gonna smash in there. 270 00:09:27,675 --> 00:09:31,409 A woman is not a lady when she's dumping up a john. 271 00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:32,811 Also, this brings up an interesting point. 272 00:09:32,813 --> 00:09:34,680 We should probably confine Dee's damage 273 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:36,548 to, like, one bathroom or the other, you know. 274 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:37,749 Otherwise, I'm gonna have to clean both. 275 00:09:37,752 --> 00:09:39,417 Charlie, you're the janitor. 276 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,636 You should be cleaning both bathrooms regardless. 277 00:09:40,771 --> 00:09:42,804 - He hasn't been. - Clean both bathrooms! - I do it. 278 00:09:42,939 --> 00:09:44,573 Yeah, all right. Well, now you're just, like, 279 00:09:44,642 --> 00:09:45,840 kind of getting off-topic here, you know. 280 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:48,577 I have an idea. The guys should be able 281 00:09:48,646 --> 00:09:50,712 to pick whichever bathroom they want. 282 00:09:50,714 --> 00:09:52,647 - Dee has to stay in hers. - What? 283 00:09:52,683 --> 00:09:54,516 - All in favor. - Hey, that's majority rules. 284 00:09:54,651 --> 00:09:55,784 - Get out of here. - Yeah, yeah. 285 00:09:55,786 --> 00:09:56,852 - There you go. Solves it. - No. No, no, no. 286 00:09:56,854 --> 00:10:00,405 Absolutely not. No. You guys can't take away my right to choose. 287 00:10:00,541 --> 00:10:02,407 - Oh, you want to go there? - I do want to go there. 288 00:10:02,543 --> 00:10:05,375 My body, my choice. It says so in the Constitution. 289 00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:06,611 - Okay, well, the Bible says... - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 290 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,413 No, no, no, no, no, no. Guys, don't do this. No, come on. 291 00:10:08,449 --> 00:10:10,749 It's crazy. All right. Don't make this about abortion. 292 00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:13,418 Guys, we always do this. We veer wildly off-topic, 293 00:10:13,537 --> 00:10:16,033 and the next thing you know, we're having some ridiculous 294 00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:17,372 argument that has nothing to do with what we're trying 295 00:10:17,508 --> 00:10:19,374 - to solve, you know. - And then tempers flare. 296 00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,510 Exactly. We're talking about evolution all of a sudden. 297 00:10:21,645 --> 00:10:24,513 Then we're arguing about racism or whether or not ghouls exist. 298 00:10:24,515 --> 00:10:26,381 - They do, though, 'cause I've seen one. - No, they don't. 299 00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:27,449 - No, they do. - You-you've never seen them. 300 00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:28,584 - Yes, I have seen them. - No, you haven't. 301 00:10:28,719 --> 00:10:30,402 - Yes, I have! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 302 00:10:30,471 --> 00:10:31,603 - No, wait! Hey, stop! Hey, stop! - Charlie! 303 00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:34,673 - You stupid twink! - I'm a bear! I'm a bear! 304 00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:36,341 - You wish you were a bear! - Take it easy, guys. 305 00:10:36,476 --> 00:10:38,796 Stop! We're off-topic. This is not Buffett. 306 00:10:38,831 --> 00:10:39,677 This is not... We're not being very Buffett right now. 307 00:10:39,713 --> 00:10:41,547 - That was not Buffett at all. - We're not being very Buffett. 308 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:42,814 - It wasn't very Buffett of me. - It's not Buffett, man. 309 00:10:42,817 --> 00:10:45,257 All right, all right. Oh! I got an idea. 310 00:10:45,292 --> 00:10:47,480 It should just be about what's going on in there, right? 311 00:10:47,515 --> 00:10:48,636 What if we have 312 00:10:48,672 --> 00:10:52,574 separate bathrooms... for separate bodily functions? 313 00:10:52,643 --> 00:10:54,576 Oh, like a piss room and a shit room. 314 00:10:54,578 --> 00:10:56,911 Yeah. Exactly, okay? And, uh, we just 315 00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,448 put very simple labels on the door. 316 00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:02,518 Room number one for when you got to empty your balls, 317 00:11:02,653 --> 00:11:06,471 and room number two for when you got to empty your butt. 318 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,407 Pee is not in your balls, but... yeah. Okay. 319 00:11:09,476 --> 00:11:10,742 No. I don't think it's gonna work because 320 00:11:10,811 --> 00:11:13,345 nobody can shit when everybody knows you're shitting. 321 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,680 - Why not? Everybody shits. - Yeah. 322 00:11:14,815 --> 00:11:17,549 Yeah, but it's a shameful act that we all do in secret. 323 00:11:17,618 --> 00:11:19,618 - Well, that's true. - Even dogs know that. 324 00:11:19,753 --> 00:11:21,503 You ever see their eyes when they're doing it? 325 00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:24,157 - They know. - Hmm. 326 00:11:24,192 --> 00:11:25,459 - They look at you like this. - Yeah. 327 00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:26,841 Yeah. They're ashamed. 328 00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:28,777 Yeah, well, guys, it's a system that invites abuse. 329 00:11:28,779 --> 00:11:30,578 I mean, who here would use the piss room to shit? 330 00:11:30,614 --> 00:11:32,847 No, that's the whole point, is that you just pee in it. 331 00:11:32,883 --> 00:11:34,382 - I wouldn't do that. - In the shit room, you shit. 332 00:11:34,451 --> 00:11:35,384 Yeah. No one's gonna do that. 333 00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:36,651 - Pee over there. - Really? 334 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,537 Yeah. I'd-I'd poop in the pee room. 335 00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:39,604 I would poop immediately in the pee room. 336 00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,406 100% of the time I will shit in the piss room. 337 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:42,473 - You're totally right. - Actually, don't like this idea. 338 00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:43,742 See? There you go. I rest my case. 339 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,610 Yeah. But you know what? Maybe people would be 340 00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:47,612 a little less inclined to cheat, and they wouldn't feel ashamed, 341 00:11:47,615 --> 00:11:49,414 if they had a little bit more privacy. 342 00:11:49,549 --> 00:11:51,816 Like, what if the partitions went all the way down to the ground? 343 00:11:51,852 --> 00:11:53,551 - Hmm. - Yeah? 344 00:11:53,571 --> 00:11:55,437 And you created sort of a dome of privacy. 345 00:11:55,572 --> 00:11:56,838 - So you're closed in. - You're closed in. 346 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,573 You know what you could do? You could add 347 00:11:58,576 --> 00:12:00,508 a scented candle in there for the smells. 348 00:12:00,544 --> 00:12:02,844 - Right. - And some noise to cover the sounds. 349 00:12:02,913 --> 00:12:03,707 - Mm-hmm. - Yes. 350 00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:05,729 A loud noise, like screaming. 351 00:12:05,849 --> 00:12:07,715 - Mm-hmm. - Or just music. 352 00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:09,718 Let's do music. Guys, we're making progress. 353 00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:11,803 This is great. I'll tell you what. Uh, Dee, why don't you go grab some cardboard 354 00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:13,538 - for the partitions. - Yep, yep. 355 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,807 And, um, I'll order us some breakfast burritos. 356 00:12:15,876 --> 00:12:17,809 - It's getting to that time. - 'Cause I'm getting hungry. 357 00:12:17,811 --> 00:12:19,678 - Yeah! - Tasty. - Extra bacon for you? 358 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,480 - Okay, okay. Yeah. - Extra bacon, baby. - All right. 359 00:12:31,773 --> 00:12:32,970 The screaming's kind of cool, right? 360 00:12:33,005 --> 00:12:34,593 It's better. It's better. Works better than the music. 361 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:35,577 - I never would've thought. - Yeah, yeah. 362 00:12:35,646 --> 00:12:37,579 The music, it was like, I felt like I could hear maybe 363 00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:39,581 - a poop or a pee happening, but the screams are... - Right. 364 00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:41,516 And I honestly, I feel like I'm not even in a bathroom 365 00:12:41,652 --> 00:12:43,585 - right now. - Yeah. Here you are eating a burrito. 366 00:12:43,703 --> 00:12:45,777 - Yeah. Yeah. - In a bathroom. 367 00:12:45,839 --> 00:12:48,606 - Oh! That was great. - Yeah, how'd that go? Yeah? 368 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,742 I did something in there. I'm not gonna tell you what, though. 369 00:12:50,778 --> 00:12:52,611 Well, there's no need. I couldn't hear a thing, 370 00:12:52,746 --> 00:12:53,945 - and I can't smell a thing, so... - Yeah. 371 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,814 Hey, Frank, how's it going in there, man? 372 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,949 The walls are too high. I don't know where to aim. 373 00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:00,535 - Aim? Aim-aim at the bowl. The toilet. - You just aim at the toilet. 374 00:13:00,637 --> 00:13:02,504 - The same spot. - What are you talking about? 375 00:13:02,639 --> 00:13:05,440 - Ah! - Whoa! Hey! - Whoa! Goddamn it. 376 00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:07,442 Never sneak up on a man like that, 377 00:13:07,478 --> 00:13:09,578 especially when he's at his most vulnerable. 378 00:13:09,713 --> 00:13:11,379 Why do you have a gun on the toilet? 379 00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:12,647 I always carry a gun on the toilet. 380 00:13:12,683 --> 00:13:13,915 Otherwise, I can't make. 381 00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,517 Well, now I'm very uncomfortable. 382 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,718 Well, tough titties. 383 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,470 I got the right to defend myself. 384 00:13:18,472 --> 00:13:19,604 It's in the Constitution. 385 00:13:19,740 --> 00:13:20,805 Have you ever read the Constitution? 386 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,674 Yes. 387 00:13:24,478 --> 00:13:26,611 No. 388 00:13:27,992 --> 00:13:29,477 This is wild stuff. 389 00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:33,418 There's a part in here that says that freed slaves 390 00:13:33,487 --> 00:13:35,837 are only three-fifths of a person. 391 00:13:35,906 --> 00:13:37,639 - It's wild. Yeah. - Really? It says that in there? 392 00:13:37,774 --> 00:13:39,507 I can't imagine where you're going with this, Frank. 393 00:13:39,543 --> 00:13:40,842 Well, I was figuring that if we handled 394 00:13:40,977 --> 00:13:43,578 this problem like the Constitution, that would mean 395 00:13:43,647 --> 00:13:47,492 that white landowners would get a full bathroom. 396 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,850 Everybody else gets three-fifths. 397 00:13:48,886 --> 00:13:50,669 How do you use three-fifths of a bathroom? 398 00:13:50,671 --> 00:13:51,636 Piss in the sink. 399 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:56,075 I beg you to stop using the Constitution 400 00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,256 in the way that you're using it. 401 00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:58,543 Listen. Frank just gave me a good idea. 402 00:13:58,612 --> 00:13:59,995 - Hmm. - Okay. 403 00:13:59,996 --> 00:14:00,996 Reparations. 404 00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:02,547 Look, minorities have been treated 405 00:14:02,549 --> 00:14:04,483 like shit in this country for so long, right? 406 00:14:04,618 --> 00:14:07,366 So, I say we give them the good bathroom. 407 00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:10,505 You know? I mean, for years and years, they've been oppressed. 408 00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:12,441 The least we can give them is, you know, 409 00:14:12,443 --> 00:14:14,388 a nice place to piss and shit, right? 410 00:14:14,423 --> 00:14:16,511 And we got to put up a sign so that they know their place. 411 00:14:16,646 --> 00:14:18,513 Now, are-are you proposing that we put a sign 412 00:14:18,549 --> 00:14:20,782 on one of the bathrooms that says "minorities only"? 413 00:14:20,917 --> 00:14:22,450 What does the other sign say? 414 00:14:22,519 --> 00:14:24,469 - "No minorities allowed." - That's crazy. 415 00:14:24,471 --> 00:14:25,604 - Do you hear yourself? - That's bad. - You hear where 416 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,605 you're running into trouble there, right? 417 00:14:26,607 --> 00:14:27,605 No, no, it's super progressive. 418 00:14:27,641 --> 00:14:29,341 - No... - Yeah, i-it's a bathroom 419 00:14:29,476 --> 00:14:32,477 - for women, non-whites, and gays. - Uh... 420 00:14:32,546 --> 00:14:34,412 Oh, oh! 421 00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:35,413 Oh, I get it. 422 00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:36,681 And I-I'm 100% on board. 423 00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:38,483 I agree. I'm with you. 424 00:14:38,485 --> 00:14:40,769 Wait a second, Dee. So now you're okay with Mac using your bathroom? 425 00:14:40,771 --> 00:14:42,437 Yeah. As long as the majority of the people 426 00:14:42,572 --> 00:14:43,838 aren't taking a shit in my bathroom, sure. 427 00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:46,708 Okay, well, let's just go ahead and vote for it. Ch-Charlie? 428 00:14:46,843 --> 00:14:48,510 W-Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second there. 429 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:50,445 Before you vote, uh, Charlie, uh, you know, 430 00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:51,913 consider this... there's-there's no shame 431 00:14:51,949 --> 00:14:54,461 in doing what's best for the majority. 432 00:14:54,496 --> 00:14:56,651 I mean, that is what a democracy is, right? 433 00:14:56,653 --> 00:14:59,670 It's trying to please the greatest number of people in a country. 434 00:14:59,706 --> 00:15:01,406 - White people. - Please don't help. 435 00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:02,874 Okay? Yeah. Uh, what I'm saying is 436 00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:04,742 that you're never gonna be able to please everybody. 437 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,545 It's just... There's no way, you know what I mean? 438 00:15:06,547 --> 00:15:07,746 And, of course, everybody wants their own little piece 439 00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:09,547 of paradise, right? I like mine with... 440 00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:11,616 I like mine with lettuce and tomato. 441 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:15,570 - Mm. - But that's just me, you know? 442 00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:17,572 There's a small minority of people out there, 443 00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:19,507 they like their cheeseburgers with pineapple. 444 00:15:19,576 --> 00:15:21,643 - Oh, yeah, I know. Get the hell out of here. - Ew. 445 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,711 - Gross. - What are you thinking? You know what I mean? 446 00:15:23,747 --> 00:15:25,514 But there is a minority out there, and that's how 447 00:15:25,516 --> 00:15:27,516 they like it. But are we saying that, for those people's sake, 448 00:15:27,518 --> 00:15:28,850 we got to have every single hamburger store 449 00:15:28,852 --> 00:15:30,801 in the whole country offer pineapples 450 00:15:30,838 --> 00:15:33,671 on their cheeseburgers? I don't think that's right. 451 00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:35,740 Mm-mm. We ought to take it off the pizza, too. 452 00:15:35,876 --> 00:15:37,542 Hawaiians are savages. 453 00:15:37,611 --> 00:15:38,809 Okay, you're not helping, all right? 454 00:15:38,846 --> 00:15:41,680 Your racism is making... I hate when you're on my side. 455 00:15:41,682 --> 00:15:44,505 Mm-hmm. Okay, all good points, you know, strongly made. 456 00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,885 I like the hat. I was focused on that most of the time. 457 00:15:46,887 --> 00:15:48,904 But I-I'm kind of leaning towards you. 458 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,705 I don't know why. It might be the shirt. 459 00:15:50,841 --> 00:15:53,441 Look, majority rules may have worked in medieval times, 460 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:55,510 but we live in a civil society now. 461 00:15:55,612 --> 00:15:58,846 And societies are judged on how they treat their most vulnerable. 462 00:15:58,882 --> 00:16:02,450 See, we have to give voices to those who have no voice. 463 00:16:02,486 --> 00:16:03,718 - He's right... - Shut up, Dee! I'm talking! 464 00:16:03,737 --> 00:16:06,604 Women are always... Goddamn it. 465 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,474 Look, what I was saying was that we need to protect 466 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,478 those most marginalized, okay? 467 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,480 We need to change our attitudes. 468 00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:17,816 We need to change our latitudes. 469 00:16:18,871 --> 00:16:21,436 And we need to vote for a minorities-only bathroom. 470 00:16:21,571 --> 00:16:25,455 Okay, uh, also good, strong points there made forcefully. 471 00:16:25,490 --> 00:16:27,375 I was distracted by the shiny shirt. That's cool. 472 00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,710 I liked when you snapped at Dee. 473 00:16:29,702 --> 00:16:30,578 It was annoying when she chimed in. 474 00:16:30,647 --> 00:16:32,781 Um, so maybe I'm leaning towards you now. I don't know. 475 00:16:32,916 --> 00:16:36,384 - Okay, well, then that means we're all voting for... - Oh! 476 00:16:36,503 --> 00:16:39,604 Wait, wait, wait! I just looked up the demographics of Philly. 477 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:44,512 It says here that this city is 54% women 478 00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:47,612 and 68% Christian. 479 00:16:47,747 --> 00:16:50,415 - Whoa. - Which means that Mac and Dee 480 00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:51,816 are in the majority. 481 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,752 - Wait, wait, wait, is that true? - Uh-huh. 482 00:16:53,853 --> 00:16:56,771 It also says that 52% are black, 483 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,508 which means white men, 484 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,442 like me and Dennis, 485 00:17:01,512 --> 00:17:03,378 are in the minority. 486 00:17:03,513 --> 00:17:04,779 Uh-oh, we're minorities, which means that, 487 00:17:04,848 --> 00:17:06,581 by your own argument, 488 00:17:06,716 --> 00:17:09,584 we actually should get the good bathroom. 489 00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:10,901 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I-I'm gay, 490 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,737 so that-that still means that I'm a minority. 491 00:17:12,773 --> 00:17:14,739 Yeah, but are you more gay than you are Catholic? 492 00:17:15,775 --> 00:17:16,674 I don't know. They're at war. 493 00:17:16,743 --> 00:17:18,409 It's all very confusing. Where... 494 00:17:18,478 --> 00:17:20,478 What does it say about transgenders...? 495 00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:21,880 - Less than one percent. - Yeah. 496 00:17:21,882 --> 00:17:23,715 So what am I? 497 00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:26,551 You are white. 498 00:17:26,553 --> 00:17:28,370 Okay, and I'm a...? 499 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,704 Man. 500 00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:31,773 And that would make me...? 501 00:17:31,775 --> 00:17:34,442 - In the minority. - Which means I go towards...? 502 00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:35,777 Us. Y-You know what? Frank, you explain it to him. 503 00:17:35,779 --> 00:17:37,512 I'm gonna... I'm g... I'll-I'll kill... 504 00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,648 - I'll-I'll smash him and, uh... - You get the good bathroom. 505 00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:40,649 - If I come with you? Okay, it was clear... - Yes. 506 00:17:40,784 --> 00:17:41,849 It wasn't totally clear before, 507 00:17:41,885 --> 00:17:42,784 - but I get it now. - It should've been. 508 00:17:42,919 --> 00:17:44,736 Oh, boy. Yeah, okay, so yes. 509 00:17:44,738 --> 00:17:46,937 - So all those in favor of doing the actual right thing - I got it. 510 00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:48,873 and giving the minorities the good bathroom, 511 00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:50,675 - let's go ahead and raise your hand. - Yeah. Hey! 512 00:17:50,711 --> 00:17:51,943 - Okay, all right! Great, hey. - Okay. 513 00:17:52,012 --> 00:17:53,678 - Finally, a win for straight white men, right? - Great. 514 00:17:53,747 --> 00:17:55,547 - Now we're talking. Yeah. - Yeah! Finally, something for us. 515 00:17:55,549 --> 00:17:56,814 - We got it. Yeah. Something for the guys. - Something for us. Okay. 516 00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:57,882 - Yeah, let's go to Buffett! - All right, we're gonna... 517 00:17:57,918 --> 00:17:59,618 - Anybody want cheeseburgers? - All right. 518 00:17:59,753 --> 00:18:01,569 - I'm gonna get the grill ready. - Well, yeah, hey, if I'm headed 519 00:18:01,572 --> 00:18:03,771 - to paradise, I'm gonna want a cheeseburger. - Let's roll! 520 00:18:03,807 --> 00:18:05,640 - What-what are you guys doing? Let's go. - Let's go. 521 00:18:05,676 --> 00:18:07,442 We're not going. 522 00:18:07,444 --> 00:18:08,442 What do you mean you're not going? What? 523 00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:10,645 You used Buffett's words to promote discrimination, dude. 524 00:18:10,681 --> 00:18:11,713 It's not cool. 525 00:18:11,782 --> 00:18:13,515 No, but you guys have to go. I mean, 526 00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:16,550 you're the only two other real Parrotheads of the bunch. 527 00:18:16,585 --> 00:18:19,404 I mean, Frank's just going 'cause the chicks are wild. You know what I mean? 528 00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:21,406 - And, Charlie, he doesn't know what's going on. - I know. 529 00:18:21,541 --> 00:18:23,407 - Yes, I do. - He has no... No. What are the songs? 530 00:18:24,778 --> 00:18:26,477 - That's Beach Boys. - It is. 531 00:18:26,513 --> 00:18:27,678 - I don't know the songs. - Yeah. That's the Beach Boys. 532 00:18:27,714 --> 00:18:29,681 Well, there's no sense in going to Buffett 533 00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:31,549 if we're not... we're not all gonna go. 534 00:18:31,685 --> 00:18:32,751 Then we're not going to Buffett. 535 00:18:48,785 --> 00:18:50,585 Please don't, Charlie. It's too... it-it... 536 00:18:50,654 --> 00:18:52,404 - It hurts too much. - I thought you... Come on, man. 537 00:18:52,539 --> 00:18:53,671 I thought you said it wasn't Buffett. 538 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,673 Yeah, but i-it's close enough. 539 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,741 You guys ever listened to the lyrics to that song? 540 00:18:56,743 --> 00:18:57,675 - It's super dark. - Is it? 541 00:18:57,744 --> 00:18:58,677 - Mm-mm. - Yeah, it's about 542 00:18:58,812 --> 00:19:00,412 a guy trying to cheat on his wife. 543 00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:02,414 Don't tell me that, man. It's, like, such a happy song. 544 00:19:02,549 --> 00:19:04,482 You know? Who doesn't like pi?a coladas? 545 00:19:04,484 --> 00:19:06,418 I don't. You know, they're not my first choice. 546 00:19:06,553 --> 00:19:08,503 Just as a woman on the go, I got to be able 547 00:19:08,505 --> 00:19:10,538 to really put 'em back, and if you drink those too fast, 548 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,507 - you'll get that-that frozen headache. - Hmm. 549 00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:14,375 As a straight man, I actually love pi?a coladas, 550 00:19:14,411 --> 00:19:15,844 but I don't like getting caught in the rain. 551 00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:18,313 It flattens my hair. Yeah. 552 00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:20,315 And you guys know how great I look in leather. 553 00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,517 - As a gay man, I do. - And that's what's so annoying about you, Mac. 554 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,402 - That's not really a gay thing. That's just a you thing. - It's so annoying. 555 00:19:24,471 --> 00:19:27,338 What about that bullshit about making love until midnight? 556 00:19:27,407 --> 00:19:28,673 I mean, as a senior citizen, 557 00:19:28,675 --> 00:19:30,792 I can't get it up past 6:00, 6:30, tops. 558 00:19:30,910 --> 00:19:31,743 - Mm... - Really? - Oh, geez. I got that 559 00:19:31,812 --> 00:19:33,677 - to look forward to, huh? - Really. 560 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,414 You know, as a straight man who poops transgender... 561 00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:38,483 - You got to just let that go. - I'll probably stop doing that. 562 00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:39,751 - It's not a thing. - It's time to stop doing that. 563 00:19:39,753 --> 00:19:41,369 I guess, you know, guys, when it comes down to it, 564 00:19:41,371 --> 00:19:42,637 we all identify very differently out here. 565 00:19:43,532 --> 00:19:44,839 You know? But in there... 566 00:19:45,803 --> 00:19:47,458 in there, we're not so different. 567 00:19:47,493 --> 00:19:48,710 In there, we're all the same. 568 00:19:48,712 --> 00:19:51,712 In there, we're all just disgusting, vulnerable, ashamed. 569 00:19:51,748 --> 00:19:54,649 Like a bunch of filthy animals dumping in a shithouse. 570 00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:57,635 It's the one common thing amongst a-a king and a pauper. 571 00:19:57,737 --> 00:19:59,670 - Right. - You know? We all got to take a shit. 572 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,805 Yeah, right. Why are we trying to make everyone 573 00:20:00,841 --> 00:20:02,540 feel comfortable in there? When the truth is 574 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,542 no one's ever gonna feel comfortable shitting next 575 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,344 - to another human being. It's just awkward. - Well, if we're never gonna get 576 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,845 anybody to feel good about shitting together, 577 00:20:07,847 --> 00:20:09,613 how are we gonna solve the problem? 578 00:20:09,649 --> 00:20:11,549 Hold on a second. Hold on. Listen. 579 00:20:11,551 --> 00:20:14,502 - If we're all the same in there... - Uh-huh. 580 00:20:14,571 --> 00:20:17,772 then why don't we just focus on treating other people 581 00:20:17,808 --> 00:20:21,509 the way that we want to be treated? 582 00:20:24,106 --> 00:20:25,646 Dee... 583 00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,648 we were just talking, 584 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,450 - and you just barged right in. - Yeah, shut the fuck up. 585 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:30,718 - Shut the fuck up. - Like, interrupting and talking nonsense. 586 00:20:30,721 --> 00:20:32,470 - That was, like, so pretentious. - Yeah. 587 00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:33,738 - Something very pretentious about it. - We were talking. 588 00:20:33,807 --> 00:20:36,407 - I really feel like we're right in the... - All right. Okay. 589 00:20:36,476 --> 00:20:38,676 Hey, you know what, guys? I think I may have just come up 590 00:20:38,745 --> 00:20:41,612 with a solution for our bathroom problem. 591 00:20:45,585 --> 00:20:46,618 Uh-huh. 592 00:20:46,753 --> 00:20:48,369 - Yeah, that'll do it. - There we go. 593 00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:50,371 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's perfectly clear. - We did it. 594 00:20:50,507 --> 00:20:53,377 Guys, if we leave right now, we can still make the concert. 595 00:20:53,412 --> 00:20:54,842 - Whoo...! - Let's do it. - Buffett! - Ooh, let's go. 596 00:21:47,714 --> 00:21:50,748 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com