1 00:00:04,262 --> 00:00:07,091 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Philadelphia Zoo. 2 00:00:07,134 --> 00:00:09,180 - Just a reminder that... - Damn it. Where is Frank? 3 00:00:09,223 --> 00:00:10,529 I'm not missing this lion feeding. 4 00:00:10,572 --> 00:00:12,313 Oh, lions are cool, man. 5 00:00:12,357 --> 00:00:13,749 For sure. But, you know, the best exhibit's 6 00:00:13,793 --> 00:00:15,316 - the meerkats. You know? - Meerkats! 7 00:00:16,002 --> 00:00:17,623 Hey, man, you know, they have those bubbles, 8 00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:19,842 you know, where you can pop your head up out of the ground 9 00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:21,105 - and look around. - Yeah, you're looking around. 10 00:00:21,148 --> 00:00:22,323 It's like you are a meerkat. 11 00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:23,977 No, I'm not waiting for Frank. I'm-I'm just gonna go in. 12 00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:25,457 - No. - 'Cause I-I don't want to wait here for the guy. 13 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,459 I know. But I think we should... 14 00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:29,330 I really feel like we need to stick together. 15 00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:31,115 - Huh? - Dee, will you calm down? She got lost at the zoo 16 00:00:31,158 --> 00:00:32,899 - when we were seven. It's fine. - I-I got trampled 17 00:00:32,942 --> 00:00:35,336 - by wild animals at the zoo when I was seven. - Sheep. 18 00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:36,511 - At the petting zoo. - Goats! 19 00:00:36,555 --> 00:00:38,252 - It was. - You don't have to worry about that. Okay, guys? 20 00:00:38,296 --> 00:00:40,515 Because modern technology has figured this out for us. 21 00:00:40,559 --> 00:00:42,691 We're all connected now. 22 00:00:42,735 --> 00:00:44,563 That is why I started this group text chain. 23 00:00:44,606 --> 00:00:47,131 You know? So we can stay in constant communication. 24 00:00:47,174 --> 00:00:48,523 I'm just gonna hit up Frank real quick, 25 00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:50,005 and we'll find out what's up. 26 00:00:50,177 --> 00:00:52,527 Guys, this way, nobody is gonna get lost, 27 00:00:52,571 --> 00:00:54,964 because the texting keeps us all on the same page. 28 00:00:55,008 --> 00:00:56,879 - Okay. - Oh. Well, see, there you go. 29 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,446 - Frank's five minutes away. - Great. - No, no, no. 30 00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:00,100 No, everybody knows that "five min away" 31 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,102 actually means 20 minutes away, okay? 32 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,364 I'm not missing this live feeding, okay? 33 00:01:03,408 --> 00:01:05,236 Dude, why the big deal about watching a-a lion 34 00:01:05,279 --> 00:01:06,280 eat a pile of dead meat? 35 00:01:06,324 --> 00:01:08,108 Oh, no, no, no. Wrong. Alive. 36 00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,241 Okay? Quite alive, I assure you. 37 00:01:10,284 --> 00:01:12,112 - That's a thing? Zoos do that? - That's a thing. 38 00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:14,375 - What's this? 39 00:01:14,419 --> 00:01:15,507 - Dennis has a boner? He does? - Yes. 40 00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:17,552 - No, he doesn't. - Well, goddamn it, he did. 41 00:01:17,596 --> 00:01:19,554 I did. It's gone now. 42 00:01:19,598 --> 00:01:21,382 Uh, do we have to do this whole texting thing? 43 00:01:21,426 --> 00:01:23,732 - I mean, Dee's already annoying. - She's always been annoying, Charlie. 44 00:01:23,776 --> 00:01:25,386 That's why we ditched her when she was seven. 45 00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:27,606 - You... ditched me? - Oh, shut up, Dee. Shut up! 46 00:01:27,649 --> 00:01:29,303 God, don't make this all about you. 47 00:01:29,347 --> 00:01:31,131 - I'm-I'm going in. I don't-I don't want to wait. - Well, then I'm gonna 48 00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:33,046 - go with you, 'cause I don't want to get ditched again. - Fine. Whatever. 49 00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:34,395 - Yeah, we'll catch up with you. - Look, look, look. 50 00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:36,005 And just text us when he gets here. 51 00:01:36,049 --> 00:01:37,181 Who? Frank? 52 00:01:37,224 --> 00:01:39,835 Yes, Frank. Who else would we be talking about? 53 00:01:39,879 --> 00:01:41,437 Oh, well, I just want to make sure 54 00:01:41,438 --> 00:01:42,738 - we're all on the same page. - Oh, my God. 55 00:01:42,795 --> 00:01:44,579 Text us when Frank gets here! 56 00:01:45,223 --> 00:01:46,277 Huh? 57 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,148 - Frank. Text... - Frank! What? Text us! Text us! 58 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,194 Text us when Frank gets here! 59 00:01:50,237 --> 00:01:51,847 I can't... I can't... You know what? 60 00:01:51,891 --> 00:01:53,284 - I can't... Let me just... I'm-a... - Text 'em now. 61 00:01:53,327 --> 00:01:55,416 I'm gonna text y... Check your phone! 62 00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:56,767 I'm gonna text you! 63 00:02:24,064 --> 00:02:26,578 - God, I'm so thirsty. - Yeah. 64 00:02:26,621 --> 00:02:28,014 Well, that's the cinnamon in the churro. 65 00:02:28,057 --> 00:02:30,016 - That'll make you thirsty. - You know what? 66 00:02:30,059 --> 00:02:32,279 I'm gonna... I'm gonna update the group. 67 00:02:34,157 --> 00:02:35,543 Why are you texting that? 68 00:02:35,587 --> 00:02:39,330 Oh, well, I just wanted to, uh, update the group on my status. 69 00:02:39,373 --> 00:02:41,288 Yeah, but that's, like, a sexual thing, man. 70 00:02:41,332 --> 00:02:42,420 That means you're thirsting for something, 71 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:43,899 which means you're horny for it. 72 00:02:45,379 --> 00:02:47,207 Dennis is funny with the texts, man. 73 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,308 Huh. 74 00:02:48,352 --> 00:02:50,602 Aw, come on. Too late, Dee. 75 00:02:50,645 --> 00:02:52,604 Goddamn it. Where is Frank? 76 00:02:52,647 --> 00:02:54,432 I'm just... You know what? I'm just gonna text him again, 77 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,868 'cause I don't know what the hell's going on. 78 00:02:55,911 --> 00:02:57,435 Where you be? 79 00:02:58,402 --> 00:03:00,916 Huh. What does that mean? He's... 80 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,571 - It's a dancing woman, a smiley face and a gun. - Oh. 81 00:03:03,615 --> 00:03:05,138 I know what that means. 82 00:03:05,182 --> 00:03:08,141 He's stuck behind a woman driver and he wants to shoot himself. 83 00:03:08,185 --> 00:03:09,708 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 84 00:03:09,751 --> 00:03:12,580 All right. Well, I'm just gonna update everybody. 85 00:03:12,624 --> 00:03:14,582 - "Late." - Yeah, but come on, man. 86 00:03:14,626 --> 00:03:16,845 You keep sending updates with no new information. 87 00:03:16,889 --> 00:03:19,152 No, no, I'm just keeping the whole group updated 88 00:03:19,196 --> 00:03:21,372 the way a meerkat might. 89 00:03:21,415 --> 00:03:22,938 Yeah, but a meerkat's efficient in how it updates. 90 00:03:22,982 --> 00:03:24,288 You know what I mean? Like, one little chirp, 91 00:03:24,331 --> 00:03:26,725 it can warn a whole group of, like, an eagle or whatever. 92 00:03:26,768 --> 00:03:28,509 It doesn't need to, like, chirp over 93 00:03:28,553 --> 00:03:30,163 and over and over again, you know? 94 00:03:30,207 --> 00:03:32,513 I-I'm sorry, a-are you schooling me on meerkat knowledge? 95 00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:34,472 - Seems like I have to. - Oh, oh, is that right? 96 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,821 Well, first of all, smarty-pants, 97 00:03:35,864 --> 00:03:37,692 they don't chirp. They chirrup. 98 00:03:37,736 --> 00:03:39,694 Oh, yeah? You think you know a ton about the meerkat? 99 00:03:39,738 --> 00:03:41,870 Well, did you know that the alpha pair will scent-mark 100 00:03:41,914 --> 00:03:43,655 the subordinate to show that it's the leader? 101 00:03:43,698 --> 00:03:46,179 If they find the weak one, they start pissing all over it. 102 00:03:46,223 --> 00:03:47,311 Yes. Of course I know that, Charlie. 103 00:03:47,354 --> 00:03:48,877 We watched the same documentary. 104 00:03:48,921 --> 00:03:51,097 By the way, I'm not the one that passed out halfway through 105 00:03:51,140 --> 00:03:52,316 and scent-marked all over himself. 106 00:03:52,359 --> 00:03:54,187 - I drank a case of beer, man. - So did I. 107 00:03:54,231 --> 00:03:56,363 I also drank a case of beer, and I didn't piss myself. 108 00:03:56,407 --> 00:03:57,712 All I'm saying is you don't have to text, like, 109 00:03:57,756 --> 00:03:59,350 every three seconds, you know? 110 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,412 Aw, goddamn it. Where is Frank? I just... 111 00:04:01,455 --> 00:04:02,935 - You're gonna text it again? - Yeah, I'm gonna... 112 00:04:02,978 --> 00:04:04,676 - I just got to make sure everybody knows. - It just means that you're... 113 00:04:04,719 --> 00:04:05,986 you want... you're horny. Oh. 114 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,201 Ah, Dennis g... Dennis nailed it. 115 00:04:08,245 --> 00:04:10,421 - What-what does that mean? - A peach is a butt. 116 00:04:10,464 --> 00:04:11,659 You're horny for a butt. 117 00:04:12,031 --> 00:04:14,207 - I'm-I'm horny for a butt? - 'Cause you're gay. Hey-o! 118 00:04:14,251 --> 00:04:15,556 - Sorry I'm late. I had... - Oh. 119 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,993 had to get a bag of bananas so I could taunt the gorilla. 120 00:04:18,037 --> 00:04:19,995 It took you two hours to get bananas? 121 00:04:20,039 --> 00:04:22,128 Yeah, well, I was stuck behind that woman driver. 122 00:04:22,171 --> 00:04:23,521 I thought I texted you that. 123 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:24,565 Yeah, we got that. 124 00:04:24,609 --> 00:04:25,740 - Let's just go inside. - I... 125 00:04:25,784 --> 00:04:27,655 Aw, c... Too late, Dee. Come on. 126 00:04:27,699 --> 00:04:29,309 - She sucks. - Pick up the pace with it, 127 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,876 - you know? - She sucks. 128 00:04:30,919 --> 00:04:33,444 - I texted a peach. - I already did that, Dee. 129 00:04:33,487 --> 00:04:35,446 Oh, yeah. There it is. 130 00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:37,143 You know, speed's very important in comedy texting, Dee. 131 00:04:37,186 --> 00:04:39,928 If it looks like you thought about it for a while, it's pretty lame. 132 00:04:39,972 --> 00:04:41,539 - Yeah. I know. - Yeah. 133 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:44,542 Ooh, you know what I'll do? I'll do a fist. Right? 134 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,683 So it's like he's thirsty for a fist in the butt. 135 00:04:46,979 --> 00:04:49,111 I don't think anybody's gonna get that. 136 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:51,418 You know? Plus, the moment is long gone. I mean... 137 00:04:52,391 --> 00:04:53,420 Goddamn it. What... 138 00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,335 No, that... I was wrong. That was funny. I... 139 00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:56,597 Oh, Dee. 140 00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:58,730 Well, you guys are too fast on this thing. 141 00:04:59,861 --> 00:05:01,428 - Don't answer. I got this. - Let me just... 142 00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:03,256 - I can... No, no! No. - But you're... Okay, go, go. 143 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,866 I got it, I got it. Okay. 144 00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:10,350 What's a... funny thing I can... 145 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,178 Oh, my God. Stop. I... 146 00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:16,356 - Go. - Well, I mean... 147 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,488 - Look at that. - Yeah, but... 148 00:05:17,531 --> 00:05:19,011 - Quick. Concise. Job done. - Whatever. 149 00:05:19,054 --> 00:05:20,491 - Okay. - No confusion. 150 00:05:23,537 --> 00:05:25,626 - All right. Sea lions, here we are. - Okay. 151 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:27,498 - All right. Where are they? - Yeah. 152 00:05:27,541 --> 00:05:28,568 I don't know. 153 00:05:34,679 --> 00:05:36,507 - Mm? - Wait a minute. 154 00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:38,378 - He said in front. He's not in front. - Eh. 155 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:40,380 - Exhibit ent... - Entrance? 156 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,556 Oh, come on. I got to go rescue these guys 157 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,297 at the exhibit entrance? Excuse me, sir? 158 00:05:44,341 --> 00:05:45,864 Sir? Yeah. 159 00:05:45,907 --> 00:05:48,214 Um, h-how long do we have till the lion begins feeding? 160 00:05:48,257 --> 00:05:49,650 Uh, we're five minutes out. 161 00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:51,652 Five minutes out? Okay. Thank you, thank you. All right. 162 00:05:51,696 --> 00:05:53,262 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. I don't want to get lost. 163 00:05:53,306 --> 00:05:54,960 No, I will not adjust my gait to accommodate 164 00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:56,875 your weird insecurities about sheep. 165 00:05:56,918 --> 00:05:58,659 It was a goat, and it was a lunatic. 166 00:05:58,703 --> 00:06:01,053 - Its eyes were going in every direction. - Oh, were they? Fascinating. 167 00:06:01,096 --> 00:06:02,402 - Tell me more! - He pounced on me, 168 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:04,622 and then all of his friends moved in for the kill. 169 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,406 - Ooh! Terrifying. Ooh! - Don't do that. 170 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,507 It was so scary! 171 00:06:12,281 --> 00:06:13,674 - Oh. - What does that mean? 172 00:06:13,718 --> 00:06:15,981 Shit, he's-he's having fun without us. 173 00:06:16,024 --> 00:06:18,549 No, no, no, no, no, no. Mac, that's sarcastic. 174 00:06:18,592 --> 00:06:21,465 If he was having fun, it would have an exclamation point. 175 00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:23,554 I'm gonna de-escalate. I'm gonna de-escalate. 176 00:06:23,597 --> 00:06:25,599 - Probably pissed he can't find us. - Wait. 177 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,125 - Oh, shit. - What does that mean? 178 00:06:30,169 --> 00:06:31,692 - Oh... - That's not g... What it means is 179 00:06:31,736 --> 00:06:33,085 that he's already given the information 180 00:06:33,128 --> 00:06:34,565 and he doesn't want to have to repeat himself. 181 00:06:34,608 --> 00:06:36,305 - So you got to scroll up and see. - So, what... Scroll up. 182 00:06:36,349 --> 00:06:37,437 - Scroll up. - Dennis hates to repeat himself. 183 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,004 Well, let's find what he's... 184 00:06:39,047 --> 00:06:40,875 Ah. 185 00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:43,487 "Went to C lions." 186 00:06:43,530 --> 00:06:45,706 Oh. Shit. 187 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,926 Dude, do you think he went to the sea lions 188 00:06:47,969 --> 00:06:49,580 or he went to go see the lion? 189 00:06:49,623 --> 00:06:51,669 - Ooh... - Oh. I don't know. 190 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,192 I don't know. Let me ask. 191 00:06:56,108 --> 00:06:57,457 Oh. Yeah, yeah, I... 192 00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,067 What'd you get wrong there? 193 00:07:02,636 --> 00:07:05,596 - Sea. Um... - Dude, just let me, all right? 194 00:07:05,639 --> 00:07:06,814 - Well, it's-it's the predictive te... - It's better... 195 00:07:06,858 --> 00:07:08,642 it's better with pictures. 196 00:07:10,644 --> 00:07:12,646 - Went to sea lion or... - Lions. 197 00:07:13,865 --> 00:07:15,954 see a lion? 198 00:07:15,997 --> 00:07:17,390 Right. 199 00:07:18,783 --> 00:07:20,480 - Oh. He's mad. - Oh, no, but... -Yeah. 200 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,264 - No. - No, it's got an exclamation point. 201 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:23,831 - That means it's happy. - No, it's all... - He's-he's screaming at you. 202 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:25,485 - Yeah, it's all caps. - It's all caps. -Screaming? 203 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,400 - Yeah. That's not good. - That's... 204 00:07:27,444 --> 00:07:29,228 - What is this? 205 00:07:30,577 --> 00:07:32,057 - What-what is... - What does that mean? 206 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:34,189 What does that mean? I don't know. Dee-Dee sucks, man. 207 00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:35,495 - I don't know. - She-she sucks. 208 00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:36,579 All right, watch this. 209 00:07:37,366 --> 00:07:38,629 How about that with the eggplant? 210 00:07:38,672 --> 00:07:39,978 - Oh. Ooh. We're coming. - All right, let's go. 211 00:07:40,021 --> 00:07:41,675 - All right, let's go. - Yeah. 212 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,069 Oh, yeah. "We're coming." 213 00:07:44,112 --> 00:07:45,505 Charlie made it work. 214 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:46,637 - Oh. - Nice. Nice. 215 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,073 Idiots went to the wrong exhibit. 216 00:07:48,116 --> 00:07:49,422 All right, let-let-let's get back there. 217 00:07:49,466 --> 00:07:50,554 I don't want to miss anything. Come on. 218 00:07:50,597 --> 00:07:52,512 Okay. All right. Well, stop walking like... 219 00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:55,210 Hey, pal. How's it going? 220 00:07:55,254 --> 00:07:56,734 Uh... where's the lion? 221 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,083 - Are we close? Are we close? - Oh. 222 00:07:58,126 --> 00:07:59,737 Yeah, you just missed it. Yeah, he's fed. 223 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,521 - He's back in his cage. - Oh. 224 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,784 He ate the kill? He-he devoured the kill? 225 00:08:03,828 --> 00:08:05,786 - And I wasn't here? - No, the feeding. Yeah, yeah. 226 00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:07,788 - You just missed it. It was awesome. - No. 227 00:08:07,832 --> 00:08:09,877 Man, you said we were five minutes out. 228 00:08:09,921 --> 00:08:11,879 - Yeah, right. - Yeah, but that was only ten minutes ago. 229 00:08:11,923 --> 00:08:13,446 C-Correct. 230 00:08:13,490 --> 00:08:14,665 No, but nobody does it that way. 231 00:08:14,708 --> 00:08:17,450 The five minutes means 20 minutes, man. You can't... 232 00:08:17,494 --> 00:08:18,973 - It's the whole reason I'm here! - Uh... 233 00:08:19,017 --> 00:08:20,584 Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. 234 00:08:20,627 --> 00:08:22,716 Hey, man. You missed it. It was awesome. 235 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,937 - Uh-huh. Yeah. - Oh. 236 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,552 - Uh... 237 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,685 Oh, oh. He's thanking us for something, so that's good. 238 00:08:34,728 --> 00:08:36,382 Dude, how are you so bad at this, man? 239 00:08:36,425 --> 00:08:38,384 He probably missed the feeding. He's blaming us. 240 00:08:38,427 --> 00:08:39,603 - Yeah. - What? 241 00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:40,821 Shit. You think? 242 00:08:40,865 --> 00:08:42,606 - Yeah. - Probably. 243 00:08:42,649 --> 00:08:44,129 No. Hold on. 244 00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,697 I'm just gonna send him something real quick 245 00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:48,046 - and make sure everything's all good. 246 00:08:48,089 --> 00:08:49,395 - Mm. - Oh, yeah. 247 00:08:49,438 --> 00:08:50,570 He says he's great, so we're fine. 248 00:08:51,314 --> 00:08:52,398 Dude. 249 00:08:52,441 --> 00:08:54,487 - He's screaming at you, man. - Yeah. 250 00:08:54,531 --> 00:08:55,793 Screaming? 251 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,272 Dude, this whole texting thing is your idea, 252 00:08:57,316 --> 00:08:58,839 and you don't know how texting works? 253 00:08:58,883 --> 00:09:00,058 No, he's... He just did it in all capitals. 254 00:09:00,101 --> 00:09:01,625 - That's screaming. - That's a scream. 255 00:09:01,668 --> 00:09:03,844 - That's what you do when you're screaming. - That's not scream... 256 00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:05,629 This is just all one big misunderstanding 257 00:09:05,672 --> 00:09:08,066 due to the sea lions, all right? I know what to do. 258 00:09:08,109 --> 00:09:09,763 I'm just gonna speak from the heart. 259 00:09:09,807 --> 00:09:11,939 Let me just text s-something from the heart 260 00:09:11,983 --> 00:09:14,681 that he's gonna understand, something a little bit... 261 00:09:14,725 --> 00:09:16,422 - All right. - Mmm. 262 00:09:16,465 --> 00:09:17,815 Smell good. 263 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,513 Not really normal to the... if I... 264 00:09:20,557 --> 00:09:22,950 - Come on. - Is there a...? 265 00:09:22,994 --> 00:09:25,474 What rhymes with "limber"? What rhymes with it? 266 00:09:26,693 --> 00:09:28,521 - Hinder. - How do you not get "timber"? 267 00:09:28,565 --> 00:09:30,523 - Timber. - Timber. And... 268 00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:32,003 - Oh. Salutations. - And send. 269 00:09:32,046 --> 00:09:33,308 - Okay. - Ah, dude. 270 00:09:33,352 --> 00:09:34,832 So, let's just give him a chance. 271 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,181 He's probably gonna take some time and respond to... 272 00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:37,530 - Oh! - No, he responded. 273 00:09:37,574 --> 00:09:39,010 - Yeah. - Uh, "K." 274 00:09:39,783 --> 00:09:42,056 - You're dead to him. - Yeah, he's blowing you off, man. 275 00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,710 - "K" means "okay." - He is pissed, dude. - "K." 276 00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:44,885 - Yeah. - He is... - "K" means "okay." 277 00:09:44,929 --> 00:09:46,887 - No. - He didn't even bother to read your thing! 278 00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:48,410 - He just sent "K." - How could he possibly read that whole...? 279 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,108 - He read it! - He is pissed off at you. 280 00:09:50,151 --> 00:09:51,979 - Dennis is the fastest reader in America. - Can we just...? 281 00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:53,241 Oh, now he's calling me. 282 00:09:53,285 --> 00:09:54,547 - He's calling? - Oh, good. Good, good, yeah. 283 00:09:54,591 --> 00:09:56,027 You could just text, but no. Call me, call me! 284 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:58,551 - I want to hear from you. - Okay. You're gonna like this. 285 00:10:00,727 --> 00:10:03,077 - Uh, what is that? - I called him the "F" word. 286 00:10:03,121 --> 00:10:04,548 It's a bundle of sticks. 287 00:10:05,253 --> 00:10:07,778 No. Dee, no. You can't do that. That's not funny. 288 00:10:07,821 --> 00:10:08,892 Okay, y-you can't say that word. 289 00:10:08,935 --> 00:10:10,128 I didn't say the word. I did the pictures. 290 00:10:10,171 --> 00:10:11,695 But it doesn't matter. That's offensive, okay? 291 00:10:11,738 --> 00:10:14,045 And it's off-putting, and it's not a good color on you. 292 00:10:14,088 --> 00:10:15,786 Blue? You're gonna go blue? Don't go blue. 293 00:10:15,829 --> 00:10:17,614 That tells me that you're just not funny at all. 294 00:10:19,534 --> 00:10:20,573 - Yeah. - What? 295 00:10:20,617 --> 00:10:22,923 Frank nailing it again. 296 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,448 What's so funny about what you did? 297 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,450 Well, it works on two levels, Dee. 298 00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:29,930 It-it says that, uh, Frank's on fire 299 00:10:29,974 --> 00:10:31,932 and also that, uh, Mac is a raging flamer, 300 00:10:31,976 --> 00:10:33,934 which is still totally acceptable, for now. 301 00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:36,110 I have an idea. I have an idea. Check this out. 302 00:10:38,765 --> 00:10:39,810 What is that? 303 00:10:39,853 --> 00:10:42,160 I'm joking that maybe we should get the Jew lawyer 304 00:10:42,203 --> 00:10:44,902 and have an arbitration about what words we can and can't use 305 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,947 to describe Mac's sexuality. 306 00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:51,604 Cool! Super funny 307 00:10:51,648 --> 00:10:53,519 and not the least bit anti-Semitic. 308 00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:55,913 You get it! You get it. 309 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,088 Should we just get out of here? 310 00:10:57,131 --> 00:10:58,611 - Let's do that. - Yeah. Well, hold on. 311 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,744 Well, okay, but hang on. 312 00:11:00,787 --> 00:11:02,615 Wait, Dennis. Hey, excuse me. 313 00:11:02,659 --> 00:11:04,182 Whoa! Whoa, whoa. Dennis, wait, wait, 314 00:11:04,225 --> 00:11:06,837 wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. Where'd you go? 315 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,839 Where'd you go? Oh, no. 316 00:11:08,882 --> 00:11:10,971 Oh, no. 317 00:11:11,015 --> 00:11:12,581 Dennis! 318 00:11:14,235 --> 00:11:17,064 Why won't Dennis answer my calls? 319 00:11:17,108 --> 00:11:19,371 Dude, who cares? Man, I'm so sick of this texting shit. 320 00:11:19,414 --> 00:11:21,982 - Come on. - It's like we're not even enjoying the zoo, man. 321 00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:23,549 - No see no animals. - "Missed your calls." 322 00:11:23,592 --> 00:11:24,985 - That's what it is. - Jesus Christ. 323 00:11:25,029 --> 00:11:26,086 - Oh, dude, he... - He missed them. 324 00:11:26,130 --> 00:11:27,727 - He's lying to you. - He's avoiding you. 325 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,207 Look, can we just go see the meerkats? 326 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,425 Please? Let's just drop it. 327 00:11:30,469 --> 00:11:31,775 We'll go to the meerkats. We'll have fun. 328 00:11:31,818 --> 00:11:33,951 I want to go taunt the gorillas before they get fed 329 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,300 and they're not hungry anymore. 330 00:11:35,343 --> 00:11:37,345 Why do you even want to taunt a gorilla? What is that? 331 00:11:37,389 --> 00:11:38,433 Oh, it's hysterical. 332 00:11:38,477 --> 00:11:40,609 I sit there, eat a banana real slow, 333 00:11:40,653 --> 00:11:41,959 and he comes up to the glass, 334 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,918 and he's banging on the glass like the dumb ape he is. 335 00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:48,356 It will bang its hands bloody trying to get the banana. 336 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,662 How is that funny? 337 00:11:49,706 --> 00:11:52,665 It's funny 'cause he can't get the banana. 338 00:11:52,709 --> 00:11:53,971 All right, dude. You know what? 339 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,450 Go ahead. Go taunt the gorillas, all right? 340 00:11:55,494 --> 00:11:57,452 But I'm going to the meerkats. I'm not going with you. 341 00:11:57,496 --> 00:11:59,367 Suit yourself. 342 00:11:59,905 --> 00:12:01,792 All right, can we just go to the meer...? What are you doing now? 343 00:12:01,835 --> 00:12:02,836 - What is this? - I'm just sending one last text. 344 00:12:02,849 --> 00:12:04,329 You're gonna send another gi... Another gi... 345 00:12:04,372 --> 00:12:06,635 - Okay, it's gonna take a little bit of... Oh! - Oh. 346 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:07,985 Oh, he read that so fast. 347 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,377 - He didn't read it at all! - I think... 348 00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:11,031 Dude, he doesn't want to talk to you! 349 00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:12,816 Can we just please go to the meerkats, dude? 350 00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:13,917 No. You know what I'm gonna do? 351 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,123 I'm just gonna hang out in the bathroom for a while. 352 00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:18,473 You're gonna hang out in the bathroom? 353 00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:20,824 - Yeah, for a while. - Why? 354 00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:22,695 It's a gay thing, so you really wouldn't understand. 355 00:12:22,739 --> 00:12:24,131 - What? - Yeah, you know, it's, like, 356 00:12:24,175 --> 00:12:26,264 bathrooms at zoos are, like, 357 00:12:26,307 --> 00:12:28,788 big Grindr spots for closeted dads. 358 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,659 Dude, I know what's up here. You're ditching me, man. 359 00:12:30,703 --> 00:12:32,009 You're-you're ditching me 360 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,924 so you can go beg forgiveness from Dennis, dude. 361 00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:35,839 - It's so pathetic, man. - No, I am not, Charlie. 362 00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:37,623 - It's so pathetic, dude. Dude, you're no meerkat. - I am not! 363 00:12:37,666 --> 00:12:39,494 - I'm not doing th... I am a... Don't... - I'll tell you... 364 00:12:39,538 --> 00:12:40,844 You're not a meerkat. 365 00:12:40,887 --> 00:12:42,149 - Don't be... - Meerkats stick together, Mac! 366 00:12:42,193 --> 00:12:43,411 Don't be like that, Charlie. 367 00:12:43,455 --> 00:12:45,152 Of course I'm a meerkat, all right? 368 00:12:45,196 --> 00:12:46,937 Bullshit! Then why aren't you hanging with me? 369 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:49,069 I just want to go meet my needs real quick... 370 00:12:49,113 --> 00:12:50,723 What about the needs of the group, Mac? 371 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:52,725 I'm gonna meet the needs of the group, Charlie, after that, 372 00:12:52,769 --> 00:12:53,944 but I just feel like... Are you... 373 00:12:53,987 --> 00:12:55,249 are you pissing on me? 374 00:12:55,293 --> 00:12:56,947 - Yeah. - Oh, uh... 375 00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:58,252 Direct eye contact? 376 00:12:58,296 --> 00:12:59,353 Yeah! 377 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,085 - Your neck's very high. - Yeah. 378 00:13:05,129 --> 00:13:06,739 - Okay, I'm done. - Oh. 379 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,917 Don't look at me. 380 00:13:42,993 --> 00:13:44,995 Goddamn it! 381 00:14:01,838 --> 00:14:03,143 Dennis. 382 00:14:03,187 --> 00:14:04,797 Y-You came to talk to me. 383 00:14:04,841 --> 00:14:06,712 Unless this is, like, a Grindr situation? 384 00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:07,844 I came to piss. 385 00:14:08,975 --> 00:14:10,803 Look, man, I know that you're mad at me, 386 00:14:10,847 --> 00:14:12,457 but when you said that thing about "C lions," 387 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,938 - Charlie was like... - Oh, that's a lie. 388 00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:17,157 That's just a lie, because Charlie can't read. 389 00:14:17,201 --> 00:14:19,899 All right, it was all my fault, but it was an honest mistake. 390 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,161 One thing, Mac. 391 00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:23,903 I mean, I came here to see one goddamn thing, 392 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,949 and you ruined it with your texting nonsense. 393 00:14:25,992 --> 00:14:27,951 Yes, but I have some new information. 394 00:14:27,994 --> 00:14:30,605 There's going to be another live feeding. 395 00:14:32,869 --> 00:14:35,045 - Go on. - Yeah. 396 00:14:35,088 --> 00:14:37,134 A goat is to be sacrificed. 397 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,701 I heard an employee in here. He was talking about it. 398 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:43,183 - Now, I offered to blow him, but he was like, "Nah, I'm..." - Goat? 399 00:14:45,403 --> 00:14:48,014 That's some Jurassic Park shit. I like it. 400 00:14:50,451 --> 00:14:51,757 But if you're gonna join me, 401 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,846 you must follow my every command because, I swear to God, 402 00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:55,848 if you make me miss this one, too, 403 00:14:55,892 --> 00:14:59,330 I will feed you to the lions myself. 404 00:14:59,373 --> 00:15:01,114 Okay. 405 00:15:02,637 --> 00:15:04,117 Are you pissing on me? 406 00:15:04,161 --> 00:15:06,293 Yeah. 407 00:15:08,938 --> 00:15:10,558 You guys grinding? 408 00:15:10,602 --> 00:15:11,964 - Ah. 409 00:15:14,258 --> 00:15:15,955 Hey! Where you a... 410 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,784 Where you at, you big, dumb baboon? 411 00:15:20,321 --> 00:15:21,787 Huh? 412 00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:23,006 Uh, excuse me. 413 00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:26,096 Excuse me. Where's the, uh... 414 00:15:26,139 --> 00:15:28,968 - Where's the big animal? The... Uh. 415 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,318 Ah. Annoying bird. 416 00:15:31,362 --> 00:15:32,798 - The what? - Nah. 417 00:15:32,841 --> 00:15:35,018 No, it's just the phones are... they're so distracting. 418 00:15:35,061 --> 00:15:38,108 Now, where's the big, dumb, you know, the ape, the animal? 419 00:15:38,151 --> 00:15:39,239 The-the-the silverback? 420 00:15:39,283 --> 00:15:40,762 Yeah, the dummy. Yeah. 421 00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,112 Yeah. Uh, well, that's Andy. Uh, Andy... 422 00:15:42,155 --> 00:15:44,027 - Andy the dummy. - Yeah. 423 00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:45,898 - He can be pretty shy. - Yeah... He can be... Yeah. 424 00:15:45,942 --> 00:15:47,030 So, yeah. So, sometimes you have to 425 00:15:47,073 --> 00:15:48,683 - look to find him 'cause... - Ah... Oh, excuse me. 426 00:15:48,727 --> 00:15:51,904 - What does this bitch... 427 00:15:51,948 --> 00:15:54,037 What is she talking about? 428 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,256 I... 429 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:59,042 Hey! Hey! 430 00:15:59,085 --> 00:16:00,130 Hey! 431 00:16:00,173 --> 00:16:02,349 You big, dumb... Where's my bananas? 432 00:16:02,393 --> 00:16:04,699 Son of a... 433 00:16:04,743 --> 00:16:06,136 You bastard! 434 00:16:06,179 --> 00:16:07,485 Give me those bananas! 435 00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:21,281 Come on. 436 00:16:45,131 --> 00:16:47,133 Learn to read, idiot. 437 00:16:55,272 --> 00:16:56,534 Goddamn it! 438 00:16:57,194 --> 00:16:58,231 Okay. 439 00:16:58,275 --> 00:17:00,755 So, this should be getting started any minute. 440 00:17:00,799 --> 00:17:02,975 I'm gonna drop a quick pin because I think the guys 441 00:17:03,019 --> 00:17:04,324 - are gonna want to see this. - Yeah. 442 00:17:04,368 --> 00:17:06,239 You know, I got to say, something feels a little off 443 00:17:06,283 --> 00:17:08,894 to me a-about all this. W-Why are we in the exhibit? 444 00:17:08,937 --> 00:17:10,200 That doesn't feel safe, you know. 445 00:17:10,243 --> 00:17:13,290 And why are a bunch of children in the exhibit as well? 446 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,944 Yes, that does seem a little strange, doesn't it? 447 00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:18,251 Hi-hi. Uh, sir? Excuse me. 448 00:17:18,295 --> 00:17:20,340 Uh, yeah. 449 00:17:20,384 --> 00:17:22,255 When is the goat to be slaughtered? 450 00:17:22,299 --> 00:17:24,214 Excuse me? 451 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,130 When is the goat going to be fed to the lion? 452 00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:30,002 Uh, my friend engaged in a sexual exchange for information 453 00:17:30,046 --> 00:17:32,352 and was told there was going to be a sacrifice. 454 00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:34,746 Well, he tried but I said no. 455 00:17:34,789 --> 00:17:36,139 - Oh, that's... - It's not what you think. 456 00:17:36,182 --> 00:17:38,750 I think there's been some miscommunication. 457 00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:40,360 This is the-the petting zoo. 458 00:17:40,404 --> 00:17:43,494 We're feeding the goats. We're not slaughtering them. 459 00:17:47,541 --> 00:17:50,240 Uh... 460 00:17:50,283 --> 00:17:52,068 - Dennis, I, uh... - It's fine. 461 00:17:54,026 --> 00:17:56,246 No, it's fine, Mac. 462 00:17:56,289 --> 00:17:58,813 This is all fine. 463 00:17:58,857 --> 00:18:01,816 - Why don't we just go to the next exhibit. - Oh. 464 00:18:01,860 --> 00:18:04,297 Cool. Yeah, I thought you were actually gonna be upset with me. 465 00:18:06,647 --> 00:18:08,171 Dennis? 466 00:18:10,086 --> 00:18:12,392 Dennis? 467 00:18:12,436 --> 00:18:15,743 Dennis? Dennis! 468 00:18:23,966 --> 00:18:25,623 - Here you go, ma'am. Have fun. - Huh? What? 469 00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:28,060 - No. What's this? - Okay, kids. 470 00:18:28,104 --> 00:18:29,396 Let's go! 471 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,411 What? 472 00:18:53,477 --> 00:18:55,435 No, get away from me. 473 00:18:57,916 --> 00:19:00,397 No. God, please help me! 474 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,487 - Oh! - Meerkats! Meerkats! 475 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,271 - That was amazing! - I knew what you were saying 476 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,881 - by the looks on your faces. - Yeah. -Yeah. 477 00:20:33,925 --> 00:20:36,144 Hey, guys. I-I felt connected to you for the first time today. 478 00:20:36,188 --> 00:20:38,190 Yeah, see, that's what it's all about. 479 00:20:38,234 --> 00:20:39,844 - You know what I mean? - Dude, Charlie, 480 00:20:39,887 --> 00:20:42,281 that smile said a thousand words, you know? 481 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:43,630 It was like, "I told you so," 482 00:20:43,674 --> 00:20:46,198 but also, "I forgive you." I understood everything. 483 00:20:46,242 --> 00:20:48,069 - Yeah, I forgave you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I could tell, Mac, 484 00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:50,289 by the look on your face, that you really were sorry 485 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,769 - about me having to miss that lion feeding. - Mm-hmm. 486 00:20:51,812 --> 00:20:53,336 And I-I really appreciated that, bro. 487 00:20:53,379 --> 00:20:54,554 See, that's the thing, you know? 488 00:20:54,598 --> 00:20:56,208 Like, even though we were texting all day 489 00:20:56,252 --> 00:20:57,557 and we were in constant communication, 490 00:20:57,601 --> 00:20:59,907 I don't really think we were communicating at all. 491 00:20:59,951 --> 00:21:01,648 - That's a real form of communi... - Yeah, I am getting one, though. 492 00:21:01,692 --> 00:21:03,346 - Yeah, me, too. - I do want to... Bowling ball, 493 00:21:03,389 --> 00:21:05,478 water, eggplant, queen... 494 00:21:05,522 --> 00:21:07,524 Oh, Frank is pissing on Mac. Very good. 495 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,581 - Yeah. - Yes, I am. 496 00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:09,700 - Yeah, yeah. - Come on. 497 00:21:09,743 --> 00:21:11,223 - Oh, he is! - He is for real. 498 00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:12,703 - Nice one. - That's a great text, Dee. - Thank you. 499 00:21:12,746 --> 00:21:14,444 - Oh, ah... You want a great text? I'm gonna... 500 00:21:14,487 --> 00:21:16,315 - No, no, Dee... Dee beat you to it. - Yeah. 501 00:21:16,772 --> 00:21:18,006 Huh? What do you think? 502 00:21:18,041 --> 00:21:19,449 Well, then, I'm gonna do one from the heart. 503 00:21:19,492 --> 00:21:21,233 - I'm gonna do one from the heart. - You liked it for real? 504 00:21:21,277 --> 00:21:22,452 Oh, Mac, I like that. What is that? 505 00:21:22,495 --> 00:21:24,715 I mean, they are... they're just funny. 506 00:22:06,906 --> 00:22:08,946 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com