1
00:00:04,935 --> 00:00:06,972
- I suppose I should start at the end.

2
00:00:07,005 --> 00:00:08,906
- My end, that is.

3
00:00:11,209 --> 00:00:14,279
That poor sap doing the
two-step to nowhere is me.

4
00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:16,614
Bet you're wondering
how I got into this mess.

5
00:00:16,714 --> 00:00:18,883
Well, like most stories,
it started with a white lie

6
00:00:18,983 --> 00:00:20,418
and ended with the dark truth.

7
00:00:20,451 --> 00:00:23,088
I needed a hospital, I needed a day off,

8
00:00:23,121 --> 00:00:26,391
I needed a pretty girl with
soft lips and a nursing degree.

9
00:00:26,491 --> 00:00:30,027
What I had was a mop, a bucket,
and a bellyful of regret.

10
00:00:34,132 --> 00:00:36,301
So, how does an honest man
end up spilling his guts

11
00:00:36,401 --> 00:00:37,968
on a dive bar floor?

12
00:00:38,069 --> 00:00:42,039
Don't ask me, pal. I'm just the janitor.

13
00:00:58,030 --> 00:01:03,030
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com

14
00:01:06,755 --> 00:01:08,475
Let's go back to when it all began.

15
00:01:08,899 --> 00:01:10,901
It was a wet Tuesday night,
half past closing time,

16
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:12,637
when the drunks wobble
home to their beds

17
00:01:12,670 --> 00:01:15,640
and punch their tickets to an
all-night ceiling-go-round.

18
00:01:15,673 --> 00:01:17,775
I had already finished my shift,

19
00:01:17,808 --> 00:01:19,410
or maybe it had finished me.

20
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,479
See, that morning I got
called to a crime scene

21
00:01:21,512 --> 00:01:22,747
in the men's bathroom.

22
00:01:22,847 --> 00:01:25,750
The victim? A handicap stall.

23
00:01:25,850 --> 00:01:27,485
The murderer? A butt.

24
00:01:27,518 --> 00:01:29,454
But whose butt?

25
00:01:29,487 --> 00:01:32,123
That, my friends, was the
hundred-dollar question.

26
00:01:32,157 --> 00:01:34,325
Ah, the hell with it.

27
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:39,630
And that's when trouble
walked in like it always does,

28
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:42,800
on a great set of legs.

29
00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:44,635
I got a job for you.

30
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:47,472
- Not interested.
- Well, I ain't asking.

31
00:01:47,505 --> 00:01:50,141
Somebody spilled, and I
don't mean to the Feds.

32
00:01:50,175 --> 00:01:52,477
So? You know where we keep the mop.

33
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:54,812
- I'm knocking off.
- Knocking off?

34
00:01:54,845 --> 00:01:56,447
- Or knocking back?
- Beat it, Stretch.

35
00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:59,217
- I said I'm off the clock.
- Oh. Want it the hard way, huh?

36
00:02:01,486 --> 00:02:02,987
Says he won't do it.

37
00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,022
Ah, we got a tough guy, eh?

38
00:02:05,122 --> 00:02:08,459
Hey, Charlie, don't make me
mop the floor with you, huh?

39
00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:12,029
Boy, has he got you trained.
All that for a whistle?

40
00:02:12,062 --> 00:02:14,499
I wonder what you'd do for a biscuit.

41
00:02:14,599 --> 00:02:17,101
Biscuit? Why, you little...

42
00:02:21,772 --> 00:02:23,374
Don't worry. In five minutes,

43
00:02:23,474 --> 00:02:25,676
he'll be up and chasing his tail again.

44
00:02:25,776 --> 00:02:28,479
You're gonna mop that
floor, Charlie, or else.

45
00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:30,259
You see, the bar's been
rented out tomorrow

46
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:31,482
for a private party.

47
00:02:31,516 --> 00:02:33,117
Bigwig. Deep pockets.

48
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:34,285
You know the type.

49
00:02:34,319 --> 00:02:35,786
If those floors aren't up to snuff,

50
00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:37,121
who do you think he'll blame?

51
00:02:37,154 --> 00:02:39,123
The handsome bartender?

52
00:02:39,156 --> 00:02:42,693
Or the mop jockey in the coveralls?

53
00:02:42,793 --> 00:02:44,929
See you around, Charlie.

54
00:02:47,232 --> 00:02:49,700
Mop the floor. That's easy enough.

55
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,869
Only it never stays mopped.

56
00:02:51,902 --> 00:02:54,405
That's the thing about messes.

57
00:02:54,439 --> 00:02:56,807
They never go away,

58
00:02:56,841 --> 00:02:58,843
only spread around.

59
00:03:04,382 --> 00:03:06,150
Well, hello, sweetheart.

60
00:03:06,183 --> 00:03:08,185
You know, they say any port in a storm,

61
00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:10,921
and this port just...
Ah, shit, it's you!

62
00:03:10,955 --> 00:03:13,591
Charlie, come quick. Something
awful, just awful's happened.

63
00:03:13,624 --> 00:03:17,094
It's Frank. He's been diarrhea-poisoned.

64
00:03:19,297 --> 00:03:21,532
- Diarrhea-poisoned?
- Mm-hmm.

65
00:03:21,632 --> 00:03:23,701
His words, not mine.
He's stuck at my place.

66
00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:27,638
He's absolutely carpet-bombed
my bathroom. And my carpet.

67
00:03:27,738 --> 00:03:30,040
- Huh. Lot of that going around.
- Hmm.

68
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,229
Well, why didn't Frank call me himself?

69
00:03:33,253 --> 00:03:34,445
Why send one of his goons?

70
00:03:34,479 --> 00:03:35,946
What? I'm no goon.

71
00:03:36,046 --> 00:03:38,115
- No?
- No. I...

72
00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:39,617
I'm a knockout blonde with a body

73
00:03:39,717 --> 00:03:41,619
that would make a statue blush.

74
00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:43,120
I get more of a goon vibe from you.

75
00:03:43,153 --> 00:03:44,455
All right, go...

76
00:03:44,489 --> 00:03:47,124
Can you just come and get him, please?

77
00:03:47,224 --> 00:03:49,760
And also clean my apartment?

78
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,762
I'll make it worth your while.

79
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,097
Ah, sure, I catch.

80
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:55,050
Either I take the job, or
you and the other goons

81
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:57,085
- play patty-cake with my kidneys.
- Goddamn it!

82
00:03:57,119 --> 00:03:58,769
I'm not a...

83
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,638
I'll buy you a new set of rags.

84
00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:02,907
Hey, that's all you had to
say. Let me get my hat.

85
00:04:11,449 --> 00:04:14,352
He's in the bedroom. Here, take a smoke.

86
00:04:14,452 --> 00:04:16,020
It smells like shit in there.

87
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,755
All right. I'll also take a drink.

88
00:04:17,788 --> 00:04:19,757
Make it stiff enough
to stand on its head

89
00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:22,927
and sing "Oh! Susanna".

90
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,129
You can have tap.

91
00:04:30,134 --> 00:04:32,036
Ooh. Boy.

92
00:04:32,136 --> 00:04:34,672
Charlie. What are you
doing here? Who sent you?

93
00:04:34,772 --> 00:04:36,972
Well, you're in the hot seat,
so I'll ask the questions.

94
00:04:36,996 --> 00:04:38,275
- Who poisoned you?
- Nobody.

95
00:04:38,309 --> 00:04:40,510
- Bad shrimp.
- What? No.

96
00:04:40,511 --> 00:04:42,756
No, this morning you barged
in here saying, "They got me.

97
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:44,014
"I've been diarrhea-poisoned.

98
00:04:44,114 --> 00:04:45,650
The rat bastard liquefied my guts".

99
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:46,984
That sounds like you.

100
00:04:47,049 --> 00:04:49,129
Quit flapping your gums, goon!

101
00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:50,521
- Yeah.
- All right, you know what?

102
00:04:50,555 --> 00:04:52,235
- Just, whatever. Here.
- You're giving off

103
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:53,859
- big goon vibes, Dee.
- All right. Uh...

104
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,629
- Very goonish.
- Just don't ruin my chair.

105
00:04:55,653 --> 00:04:56,627
Goddamn it.

106
00:04:56,661 --> 00:04:58,439
All right, Frank, you
don't want to talk names?

107
00:04:58,463 --> 00:04:59,964
Let's talk about the weather instead.

108
00:04:59,997 --> 00:05:01,717
Where were you when
the brown lightning hit?

109
00:05:01,741 --> 00:05:03,801
I was on my way to work.
I bumped into a dope fiend.

110
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:05,970
He must have stuck me with a needle.

111
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:09,039
Don't be a liar, Frankie-Boy, or
your pants will catch on fire.

112
00:05:09,139 --> 00:05:12,443
Or they would, if you
were wearing any pants.

113
00:05:12,477 --> 00:05:14,612
No, my guess is, it started
some time last night

114
00:05:14,645 --> 00:05:16,013
when you were locking up Paddy's.

115
00:05:16,113 --> 00:05:18,158
You waited out the shit
storm in the handicap stall.

116
00:05:18,182 --> 00:05:20,193
When I came in in the
morning, you fled the scene,

117
00:05:20,217 --> 00:05:22,177
hightailed it to the nearest
apartment... Dee's...

118
00:05:22,211 --> 00:05:24,421
only your pants didn't make
the trip. How am I doing?

119
00:05:24,455 --> 00:05:25,490
So that means

120
00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,492
whoever got to you
got to you last night.

121
00:05:27,592 --> 00:05:29,059
So who was it, Frank?

122
00:05:29,159 --> 00:05:31,228
Lay off it, gum-scraper.
I'm warning you.

123
00:05:31,328 --> 00:05:32,997
Sorry, chum.

124
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:34,999
You mess with the toilet,
you get the janitor.

125
00:05:35,032 --> 00:05:36,501
You won't help me? Then, fine.

126
00:05:36,534 --> 00:05:38,536
I'll catch the rat bastard myself.

127
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:43,172
The next day, I hit the pavement

128
00:05:43,207 --> 00:05:45,410
looking for anybody who
had a problem with Frank.

129
00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:51,449
And, buddy, I found enough
beef to open a hamburger store.

130
00:05:53,551 --> 00:05:56,487
Trouble is, none of 'em
had seen Frank in days.

131
00:05:56,521 --> 00:05:59,189
So it all meant diddly.

132
00:06:03,127 --> 00:06:05,229
When it got dark, I swung by Paddy's.

133
00:06:05,329 --> 00:06:09,233
Maybe the bad guy was hiding
at the bottom of a beer bottle.

134
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:11,536
I should've swung my
head into a beehive.

135
00:06:11,636 --> 00:06:13,516
It would've been safer
than turning that corner.

136
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,139
Leave me alone!

137
00:06:15,239 --> 00:06:17,141
You're making a big mistake.

138
00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:19,209
Hey! What's the matter, Joe?

139
00:06:19,243 --> 00:06:21,603
They don't teach you manners
at the School for Big Palookas?

140
00:06:21,627 --> 00:06:22,913
The lady said scram.

141
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,983
You think you can clean up
this mess? Be my guest.

142
00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:28,653
I'm a janitor. Cleaning
up messes is what I do.

143
00:06:28,753 --> 00:06:32,289
Now dust, before I beat
you like an old rug.

144
00:06:32,322 --> 00:06:36,461
He sized me up. But
he didn't like the fit.

145
00:06:36,494 --> 00:06:37,962
Suit yourself.

146
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:40,898
But you'll be back.

147
00:06:42,399 --> 00:06:43,801
They all come back.

148
00:06:44,601 --> 00:06:46,035
There, there, sweetheart.

149
00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:48,906
No use crying over smashed pie.

150
00:06:50,941 --> 00:06:53,343
Now, there was a dame
worth the cover charge.

151
00:06:53,444 --> 00:06:54,844
Her eyes glistened in the moonlight

152
00:06:54,912 --> 00:06:56,647
like fresh gasoline puddles.

153
00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,016
They were the kind of
eyes you could fall in...

154
00:06:59,116 --> 00:07:01,018
and summer in.

155
00:07:01,118 --> 00:07:03,454
- And winter in, too.
- Sorry about that.

156
00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:04,955
My boyfriend looks like a bad apple,

157
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:08,959
but once you get to know Vince,
you'd like him even less.

158
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,261
You're too nice a girl to be
playing with rotten apples.

159
00:07:11,295 --> 00:07:15,600
Well, my pies haven't
always been so sweet.

160
00:07:15,633 --> 00:07:17,468
But I'm trying to turn that all around,

161
00:07:17,502 --> 00:07:19,342
make an honest living
selling home-baked goods.

162
00:07:19,366 --> 00:07:22,439
But he won't stand for it.

163
00:07:22,473 --> 00:07:25,175
Oh, gee, there goes my rent money.

164
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,712
Well, if you need a place to stay...

165
00:07:27,812 --> 00:07:30,881
You're a good man.

166
00:07:30,981 --> 00:07:34,485
I wouldn't want to drag
you into my troubles.

167
00:07:34,585 --> 00:07:36,821
I ain't the type that drags.

168
00:07:36,921 --> 00:07:38,355
I can see that.

169
00:07:38,455 --> 00:07:39,857
Find someplace safe.

170
00:07:39,957 --> 00:07:41,526
If he shows up again, call me.

171
00:07:41,626 --> 00:07:43,193
I'll straighten him out.

172
00:07:43,227 --> 00:07:45,162
Funny.

173
00:07:45,262 --> 00:07:47,832
You don't seem like
the straightening type.

174
00:07:47,932 --> 00:07:50,300
Maybe 'cause you got me all twisted.

175
00:08:01,512 --> 00:08:04,014
Say, fellas. What's the score?

176
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:07,351
Frank hosed us. Turns out
this party's not for the bigwig.

177
00:08:07,451 --> 00:08:08,971
- It's for his daughter.
- He hosed us.

178
00:08:08,995 --> 00:08:11,622
Yeah, there's no booze, no legal cooze.

179
00:08:11,656 --> 00:08:13,336
Sounds like a snooze.

180
00:08:13,363 --> 00:08:15,203
- And there's barely any dudes.
- Don't add on.

181
00:08:15,227 --> 00:08:16,627
- There's a rhythm.
- Come on.

182
00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:18,495
Well, you must be pretty mad at Frank.

183
00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:21,699
Oh, yeah. I hate his guts.

184
00:08:21,799 --> 00:08:23,200
Funny you should mention his guts,

185
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:25,469
considering Frank got diarrhea-poisoned.

186
00:08:25,502 --> 00:08:26,804
In his guts.

187
00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:29,273
You two wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?

188
00:08:29,373 --> 00:08:31,809
Can I get a Red 40?

189
00:08:31,842 --> 00:08:33,644
Yeah. Here's your Red 40, kid.

190
00:08:33,678 --> 00:08:35,546
Look, uh,

191
00:08:35,646 --> 00:08:37,726
Charlie, I don't know what
"diarrhea-poisoned" means,

192
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,152
but, uh, I certainly
didn't do it to Frank.

193
00:08:42,587 --> 00:08:43,854
Goddamn. Is that Dee?

194
00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:46,223
I told her to stay home and watch Frank.

195
00:08:46,323 --> 00:08:47,625
What is she doing?

196
00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:50,728
Hang on, Dee.

197
00:08:54,164 --> 00:08:56,133
Cricket? What are you doing here?

198
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,603
Dee paid me to cover her
shift, hence the getup.

199
00:08:58,636 --> 00:08:59,837
Why were you in the basement?

200
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,138
No reason.

201
00:09:01,238 --> 00:09:02,773
No reason, huh?

202
00:09:02,807 --> 00:09:03,874
I'll give you no reason.

203
00:09:03,974 --> 00:09:05,776
Yeah.

204
00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:07,144
More. Oh, yes. Do it.

205
00:09:07,244 --> 00:09:08,244
Harder. Yes.

206
00:09:08,312 --> 00:09:09,446
I'm a slut.

207
00:09:09,546 --> 00:09:11,281
All right.

208
00:09:11,381 --> 00:09:12,617
Frank let me stay.

209
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:15,485
Frank let me sleep down there.

210
00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:16,754
I've been working for him.

211
00:09:16,787 --> 00:09:18,623
Doing what?

212
00:09:18,723 --> 00:09:20,390
He's running a cherry racket.

213
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:21,726
A cherry racket?

214
00:09:21,826 --> 00:09:23,661
You telling me Frank's
running underage girls?

215
00:09:23,721 --> 00:09:25,161
I wouldn't put it past him, but, no,

216
00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:26,731
that's not what I'm talking about.

217
00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:28,565
I'm talking actual cherries.

218
00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:31,168
As in maraschino.

219
00:09:31,268 --> 00:09:33,070
Frank hired me to go
down to the local bars

220
00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:35,973
and stick my fingers in
the garnish stations.

221
00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:39,143
Why?

222
00:09:39,176 --> 00:09:40,896
Why, to contaminate
the cherries with feces,

223
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,146
so people get sick, of course.

224
00:09:42,246 --> 00:09:44,481
- My God, that's disgusting.
- It's an honest living.

225
00:09:44,581 --> 00:09:45,683
Not really.

226
00:09:45,783 --> 00:09:47,703
Now, why is Frank trying
to contaminate cherries?

227
00:09:47,727 --> 00:09:49,086
Oh, I don't know.

228
00:09:49,119 --> 00:09:52,589
He flashed a roll of nickels,
and I didn't ask questions.

229
00:09:52,623 --> 00:09:55,125
When someone flashes
a roll of nickels at you,

230
00:09:55,225 --> 00:09:57,461
you don't ask questions, you just do.

231
00:09:57,561 --> 00:10:00,430
No matter what they want or
where they want you to put it

232
00:10:00,464 --> 00:10:03,033
or where they want to put into you...

233
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:04,802
I'm gonna turn around now.

234
00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:08,138
I'd been looking at this all wrong.

235
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:11,041
It wasn't a poisoning. It was a payback.

236
00:10:11,139 --> 00:10:12,619
All right, street rat, I want to know

237
00:10:12,643 --> 00:10:14,645
which bars you hit and when. Spill.

238
00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:18,315
Go kiss a duck. You'll
never make me talk.

239
00:10:18,348 --> 00:10:20,718
I'm not slapping you around again.

240
00:10:20,818 --> 00:10:23,487
All right, fine, just get me
a pen and I'll write 'em down.

241
00:10:32,029 --> 00:10:34,832
So Cricket had contaminated
the wrong guy's cherries

242
00:10:34,932 --> 00:10:38,502
and now Frank was dancing
the porcelain rumba.

243
00:10:38,602 --> 00:10:41,638
And I was still in the dark.

244
00:10:41,739 --> 00:10:44,141
And there's only two things
you can do in the dark:

245
00:10:44,174 --> 00:10:45,943
you can drink...

246
00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:48,178
and you can hide.

247
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:53,483
If you came to shoot me,

248
00:10:53,517 --> 00:10:55,853
at least let me finish my drink first.

249
00:10:55,953 --> 00:10:59,890
I'm not gonna shoot
you. What if I missed?

250
00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:03,527
Well, then you'd have
to say you missed me.

251
00:11:03,627 --> 00:11:05,495
Maybe I did.

252
00:11:05,529 --> 00:11:07,497
Maybe I missed you, too.

253
00:11:07,531 --> 00:11:09,399
Well, you'd better work on your aim.

254
00:11:09,433 --> 00:11:11,501
Sure, I could do that,

255
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:15,472
- but I'm better at close range.
- Yes, you are.

256
00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:19,176
- Can I fix you a drink?
- No, thanks. I'm sober.

257
00:11:19,276 --> 00:11:21,045
Plus, I saw you put cat food in it.

258
00:11:21,145 --> 00:11:22,947
Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

259
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:25,196
You did, Charlie, I saw you
scoop it out of the can...

260
00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:27,246
- I put a little bit in.
- ... and it smells so bad.

261
00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:28,576
You're so close to me with that.

262
00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:31,388
- All right, I'll put it down.
- God.

263
00:11:31,488 --> 00:11:32,757
So what you doing here, doll?

264
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:34,458
I told you to find someplace safe.

265
00:11:34,558 --> 00:11:37,828
The only safe place for me...

266
00:11:37,862 --> 00:11:40,197
is in your arms.

267
00:11:40,297 --> 00:11:42,332
Oh, sure, my arms are safe.

268
00:11:42,366 --> 00:11:45,269
It's my lips you have to watch out for.

269
00:11:45,302 --> 00:11:47,637
That's a risk I'm willing to take.

270
00:11:47,738 --> 00:11:49,173
Unless, wait, a-are you telling me

271
00:11:49,206 --> 00:11:50,574
you have a cold sore or something?

272
00:11:50,607 --> 00:11:52,285
- 'Cause I'm not good with that.
- Oh, no, we're good.

273
00:11:52,309 --> 00:11:53,669
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

274
00:11:53,693 --> 00:11:54,694
Okay.

275
00:12:07,657 --> 00:12:09,593
Morning, dollface.

276
00:12:11,228 --> 00:12:13,297
Goddamn it. Why are you smiling?

277
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:14,832
Well, I'm trying to look sexy.

278
00:12:14,932 --> 00:12:17,502
- You're supposed to be dead.
- I know. I can be dead and sexy.

279
00:12:17,535 --> 00:12:20,080
You're not supposed to be sexy.
You're supposed to be the goon.

280
00:12:20,104 --> 00:12:22,048
No, I'm not the goon. I
don't want to be the goon.

281
00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:24,050
- I want to be something better.
- But you are the goon.

282
00:12:24,074 --> 00:12:25,952
- I'm not the goddamn goon.
- You're the goon, Dee.

283
00:12:25,976 --> 00:12:27,320
Who else is the goon? You're the goon.

284
00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:29,089
How could I be a goon?
I'm wearing a nightie.

285
00:12:29,113 --> 00:12:31,091
- You're a goon in a nightie.
- Maybe that's your murder weapon.

286
00:12:31,115 --> 00:12:32,355
Take it off and you strangle...

287
00:12:32,379 --> 00:12:34,075
Goddamn it. All right, I'm out of here.

288
00:12:34,099 --> 00:12:35,920
All right. Goodbye, goon.

289
00:12:35,953 --> 00:12:37,754
So what's the big idea here, fellas?

290
00:12:37,788 --> 00:12:39,456
Ah, Frank sent us here to blackmail you,

291
00:12:39,556 --> 00:12:41,758
so you stop sticking your
nose in where it don't belong.

292
00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:43,593
Ah, so you're in on
Frank's cherry scheme?

293
00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:44,929
Yeah, it's easy money.

294
00:12:44,962 --> 00:12:46,630
After Cricket fondles the cherries,

295
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:48,132
the bars trash their whole supply

296
00:12:48,232 --> 00:12:50,000
thinking they're all contaminated.

297
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:53,670
Mac and I rescue the
perfectly good cherries,

298
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:58,475
and Frank resells them to the
bars for a neat little markup.

299
00:12:58,575 --> 00:13:01,478
He gives us 30%,
only Mac thinks it's ten.

300
00:13:01,511 --> 00:13:03,147
- What?
- Shut up!

301
00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,849
Come on.

302
00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:06,516
Say, you two fellas know anything

303
00:13:06,616 --> 00:13:08,018
about a guy named Vince?

304
00:13:08,118 --> 00:13:10,620
Hangs around the Waitress
like a bad cheese burp?

305
00:13:10,654 --> 00:13:12,689
Yeah, we know him.

306
00:13:12,789 --> 00:13:15,559
Runs with a crew out of
a church on South Street,

307
00:13:15,659 --> 00:13:17,862
only he ain't the praying type.

308
00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:19,196
Tell him I want to meet.

309
00:13:19,296 --> 00:13:21,298
Yeah.

310
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:26,370
You talking to me?

311
00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:28,305
Yeah.

312
00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:31,275
Well, I can't tell 'cause
I'm not looking at you.

313
00:13:31,308 --> 00:13:33,477
We ain't looking at you either.

314
00:13:35,812 --> 00:13:36,981
Are you still here?

315
00:13:37,081 --> 00:13:39,201
- No, we're gonna go now.
- We're leaving now, though.

316
00:13:39,225 --> 00:13:41,485
That's for the best.

317
00:13:41,518 --> 00:13:44,321
Hey, is it, is it ten
percent or is it really 30%?

318
00:13:44,421 --> 00:13:45,822
It's whatever I say it is.

319
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:47,457
Well, that about sewed it up.

320
00:13:47,491 --> 00:13:49,994
Too bad I have a habit of
pulling at loose threads.

321
00:13:50,027 --> 00:13:52,529
The doc says that's why my
sutures don't heal good.

322
00:13:52,629 --> 00:13:53,830
So I called up Frank.

323
00:13:53,931 --> 00:13:55,465
He told me to meet him at Paddy's

324
00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:56,967
and he would explain everything.

325
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:59,703
Yeah, like a brick would
explain gravity to my head.

326
00:14:01,771 --> 00:14:04,041
Frank?

327
00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:06,243
Cricket?

328
00:14:06,276 --> 00:14:08,412
No johns in the basement, pal.

329
00:14:10,814 --> 00:14:11,916
Frank!

330
00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:17,454
My guts are cut to ribbons.

331
00:14:17,554 --> 00:14:19,389
- What? Who did this to you?
- I did.

332
00:14:19,489 --> 00:14:21,625
I was carrying a jar of
cherries, I fell on them,

333
00:14:21,725 --> 00:14:24,995
they bust, they sliced
my stomach to bits.

334
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,031
I'm no matador, Frank,
so you can cut the bull.

335
00:14:27,131 --> 00:14:28,632
I know all about your cherry scam.

336
00:14:28,732 --> 00:14:29,967
My cherry scam?

337
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:33,870
Oh, Charlie, you sweet innocent dope.

338
00:14:33,971 --> 00:14:35,973
I'm not the top of this sundae.

339
00:14:36,073 --> 00:14:38,142
This goes all the way to city hall.

340
00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:39,977
It all started when I bribed some bigwig

341
00:14:40,077 --> 00:14:41,878
from the Board of Health to ban Red 40,

342
00:14:41,979 --> 00:14:46,116
- the dye used in maraschino cherries.

343
00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:48,885
- Red 40?
- I used the guys

344
00:14:48,986 --> 00:14:51,455
to round up all the cherries,
and then I sat on them

345
00:14:51,555 --> 00:14:54,959
for a couple of months, and then
resold them back to the same bar

346
00:14:54,992 --> 00:14:57,294
for jacked-up black market prices,

347
00:14:57,327 --> 00:15:00,297
but there was a snag in the plan.

348
00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:01,765
The bars wouldn't bite.

349
00:15:01,798 --> 00:15:03,633
Turns out, their customers
didn't give a shit

350
00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:06,136
about the cherries, so we
had to find other buyers

351
00:15:06,236 --> 00:15:09,506
who'd pay through the nose
for their maraschino fix.

352
00:15:09,606 --> 00:15:13,677
Old folks homes for
pineapple upside-down cake,

353
00:15:13,777 --> 00:15:16,346
teenage birthday parties,

354
00:15:16,446 --> 00:15:18,148
and teetotalers

355
00:15:18,182 --> 00:15:21,618
who only drink Shirley Temples.

356
00:15:21,678 --> 00:15:23,398
All right, enough talk, Franky.

357
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,654
Save your story for St. Peter.

358
00:15:24,754 --> 00:15:26,356
All I want to know is who poisoned you?

359
00:15:26,456 --> 00:15:28,458
I tried to protect you, Charlie,

360
00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:31,161
but this mess is too big for your mop.

361
00:15:31,261 --> 00:15:33,630
- I'm not the bad guy here. It's...
- Who is it?

362
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:35,432
Who is it?

363
00:15:48,212 --> 00:15:49,713
Where is she?

364
00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:53,317
Man.

365
00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:55,785
- Where is who?
- The girl.

366
00:15:55,819 --> 00:15:57,387
She belongs with me.

367
00:15:57,487 --> 00:15:59,956
Well, she's a jewel.
She belongs in a crown.

368
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:01,658
You belong in bracelets.

369
00:16:01,758 --> 00:16:03,793
You're trying to provoke me.

370
00:16:07,831 --> 00:16:09,499
But I know how to control myself.

371
00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,303
Red 40.

372
00:16:13,403 --> 00:16:16,140
Okay, Vince, I'll take you to the girl.

373
00:16:16,173 --> 00:16:19,776
But first, let me fix a drink.

374
00:16:19,809 --> 00:16:22,090
You seem like a smart
cookie. I think you'd do well

375
00:16:22,146 --> 00:16:24,448
in our organization. You should join us.

376
00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:25,982
And if I refuse?

377
00:16:26,016 --> 00:16:28,485
Well...

378
00:16:28,518 --> 00:16:30,987
that could be bad for your health.

379
00:16:31,088 --> 00:16:33,157
Well, how about I drop by a meeting?

380
00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:34,324
Sounds like a gas.

381
00:16:35,359 --> 00:16:36,660
What is...?

382
00:16:36,693 --> 00:16:38,728
What-what is that?

383
00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:42,032
Ammonia-bleach cocktail,
aka the Janitor's Helper.

384
00:16:42,066 --> 00:16:43,433
Luckily, I'm immune.

385
00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:46,436
I've built up a healthy
tolerance over the years,

386
00:16:46,536 --> 00:16:49,539
or unhealthy, depending
on how you look at it.

387
00:16:57,781 --> 00:16:58,915
Huh.

388
00:17:05,182 --> 00:17:07,062
Charlie!

389
00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:09,226
Thank God you're all right.

390
00:17:09,326 --> 00:17:11,228
I am, but Vince isn't.

391
00:17:11,328 --> 00:17:13,208
He's gonna wake up with
his head pounding harder

392
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,465
than a Chinese crossword puzzle.

393
00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:16,700
Huh?

394
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,920
- Was that... That one wasn't clear?
- No.

395
00:17:19,945 --> 00:17:22,025
All right, I'm running out
of them, you know, it's...

396
00:17:22,049 --> 00:17:23,851
But the point is I took care of him.

397
00:17:23,885 --> 00:17:25,875
- My hero.
- Yeah.

398
00:17:25,975 --> 00:17:27,977
I guess my pies are finally safe.

399
00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:29,779
Well, not from me. Hand me a spoon.

400
00:17:32,816 --> 00:17:34,284
Say,

401
00:17:34,384 --> 00:17:36,486
why didn't you tell me
about Frank's cherry racket?

402
00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:38,455
I don't know what you're talking about.

403
00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:41,057
Yes, you do. You were helping
him sell the illegal cherries.

404
00:17:41,158 --> 00:17:43,960
- You connected him with Vince.
- Well, I...

405
00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:46,460
I guess I didn't want you to
think of me as a petty criminal.

406
00:17:46,484 --> 00:17:48,832
There's nothing petty
about you, is there, baby?

407
00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:51,335
Ooh.

408
00:17:53,737 --> 00:17:55,639
Oh.

409
00:17:57,507 --> 00:17:58,975
You idiot.

410
00:17:59,008 --> 00:18:02,279
I didn't tell you because
it's my cherry racket.

411
00:18:02,312 --> 00:18:05,014
Frank didn't know what
he had. I'm the one

412
00:18:05,115 --> 00:18:07,355
who figured out those cherries
had fermented from sitting

413
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:09,519
in those vats for months. Yeah.

414
00:18:09,619 --> 00:18:12,922
They had turned into a
slam-bang booze for the ages,

415
00:18:12,956 --> 00:18:14,524
and we could charge triple in places

416
00:18:14,624 --> 00:18:16,793
where hooch was badly
wanted but not allowed.

417
00:18:18,628 --> 00:18:21,030
Old folks homes,

418
00:18:21,131 --> 00:18:23,933
Sweet 16 parties,

419
00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:26,136
court-ordered rehab centers.

420
00:18:28,472 --> 00:18:30,340
It was like shooting fish in a...

421
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,676
Charlie, are you still eating
that pie? I poisoned it.

422
00:18:32,776 --> 00:18:34,616
- You did?
- Yeah, that's what I'm telling you.

423
00:18:34,644 --> 00:18:36,480
Oh, yeah. You know what?

424
00:18:36,513 --> 00:18:38,713
There's a lot of threads
going around; I'm losing track.

425
00:18:38,737 --> 00:18:40,984
- Okay, I poisoned the pie.
- Yeah.

426
00:18:41,017 --> 00:18:42,952
- So you should stop eating it.
- Right.

427
00:18:42,986 --> 00:18:44,854
- There you go.
- It's good.

428
00:18:44,888 --> 00:18:47,023
- Thanks. Appreciate that.
- Last bite.

429
00:18:47,123 --> 00:18:49,193
- Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.
- And carry on.

430
00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:53,096
- What about Frank?
- I poisoned Frank, too.

431
00:18:53,129 --> 00:18:57,133
He figured out what I was
up to and he wanted out,

432
00:18:57,167 --> 00:18:59,035
but we were making too much money,

433
00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:01,971
so I diarrhea-poisoned
him to shut him up.

434
00:19:02,005 --> 00:19:04,974
Aah!

435
00:19:05,074 --> 00:19:07,944
He got the message in the end.

436
00:19:07,977 --> 00:19:09,979
And Vince?

437
00:19:10,013 --> 00:19:12,816
Oh, Vince caught me smuggling
boozy pies into A.A.

438
00:19:12,849 --> 00:19:15,185
and threatened to rat me
out to my parole officer.

439
00:19:15,285 --> 00:19:17,020
You see, he wasn't
actually my boyfriend.

440
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,688
He was my sponsor,

441
00:19:18,788 --> 00:19:21,691
and he was a real buzzkill, literally.

442
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,059
But why poison me?

443
00:19:23,159 --> 00:19:25,995
Well, you were getting too close.

444
00:19:26,029 --> 00:19:28,732
Or maybe I was.

445
00:19:28,765 --> 00:19:31,968
Either way, I'm leaving
town tonight and,

446
00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:34,137
well, I can't have you following me.

447
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,940
Well, you're not gonna get away with it.

448
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,143
Oh, yeah? And who's gonna stop me?

449
00:19:40,176 --> 00:19:41,878
I am.

450
00:19:41,978 --> 00:19:45,749
See, I knew you were lying
when I found Vince's A.A. chip.

451
00:19:45,782 --> 00:19:47,651
You used me.

452
00:19:47,684 --> 00:19:49,486
You used me like you used Frank.

453
00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:51,821
And I knew it was only a matter of time

454
00:19:51,855 --> 00:19:53,423
before you tried to poison me, too.

455
00:19:53,457 --> 00:19:56,293
So that's why that shot
I took wasn't vodka.

456
00:19:56,393 --> 00:19:58,127
- It was bleach.
- What?

457
00:19:58,228 --> 00:20:00,196
- The universal poison antidote.
- No, it's not.

458
00:20:00,197 --> 00:20:01,248
It's not?

459
00:20:01,273 --> 00:20:03,824
I mean, if anything, you've
ingested more poison.

460
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:06,770
No, you put bleach on poison, it
cancels it out, I'm pretty sure.

461
00:20:06,803 --> 00:20:08,380
No, it makes the poison more poisoning.

462
00:20:08,404 --> 00:20:09,773
No. The two things cancel...

463
00:20:09,873 --> 00:20:11,473
No, you're right. Here
come the cherries.

464
00:20:12,542 --> 00:20:13,743
Oh, God!

465
00:20:13,777 --> 00:20:15,137
Jesus Christ, Charlie!

466
00:20:15,161 --> 00:20:17,113
Either way, you're done, baby doll.

467
00:20:17,146 --> 00:20:19,583
I called the cops to take you downtown.

468
00:20:19,616 --> 00:20:21,084
- Oh.
- Ha ha!

469
00:20:21,117 --> 00:20:23,086
The gig's up, you ugly dame.

470
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:24,554
You're under arrest.

471
00:20:24,654 --> 00:20:26,423
- You come with me.
- What the hell?

472
00:20:26,456 --> 00:20:27,991
I was undercover the whole time.

473
00:20:28,091 --> 00:20:29,526
I mean, what are you talking about?

474
00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:31,959
- That doesn't even make sense.
- Yeah, I switched things up.

475
00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:33,663
Got tired of being called
a goon. Let's go!

476
00:20:33,687 --> 00:20:34,964
- Ow!
- You're out of here!

477
00:20:34,998 --> 00:20:36,376
- You're really hurting my arm.
- Yeah, that's okay with me.

478
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,810
- This is so stupid! Let go of me!
- All right.

479
00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:39,114
No, I'm not gonna let go of you.

480
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:40,316
I got one job to do,
I'm gonna finish it.

481
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,340
- Let's go. Yeah.
- Ow!

482
00:20:41,438 --> 00:20:42,718
- Yeah, well...
- Ow! That hurts!

483
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,808
Yeah, that's all right.

484
00:20:44,908 --> 00:20:47,176
Well, this is where you came in.

485
00:20:47,277 --> 00:20:49,746
Only now, you know the
whole sticky situation.

486
00:20:49,779 --> 00:20:52,349
It's not every day that a
janitor makes his own mess,

487
00:20:52,449 --> 00:20:54,684
but when he does... ooh, boy.

488
00:20:54,784 --> 00:20:58,288
Now I'm about to shit my
brains all over this floor.

489
00:20:58,388 --> 00:20:59,956
But don't worry.

490
00:21:00,056 --> 00:21:02,626
I'll mop twice. I always do.

491
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:28,950
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com