1 00:00:07,804 --> 00:00:08,848 No. 2 00:00:08,892 --> 00:00:10,589 No, no. This can't be happening. 3 00:00:10,632 --> 00:00:13,244 I-I-I'm too young. 4 00:00:13,287 --> 00:00:15,333 No, why are you doing this? I don't want to change. 5 00:00:15,376 --> 00:00:16,682 I don't want to change. Oh, God, it's hot. 6 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,206 It's always so goddamn hot. 7 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,079 Someone's got to crack a door or a window. Oh, God, no. 8 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,516 It's all happening too fast. 9 00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:26,561 I had plans, and they w-were perfect plans. 10 00:00:26,605 --> 00:00:28,433 This is just all too soon! 11 00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:32,654 What the hell was that about? 12 00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:36,093 I'll tell you what that was about... menopause. 13 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,182 - What? Men... Menopause? - Oh, for real? - Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 14 00:00:38,225 --> 00:00:39,923 I went through the same thing with Barbara. 15 00:00:39,966 --> 00:00:42,708 Overnight, she became completely irrational 16 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:45,015 with the hot flashes and the mood swings 17 00:00:45,058 --> 00:00:48,235 and the paranoia. That was the worst. 18 00:00:48,279 --> 00:00:50,455 Always accusing me of having affairs. 19 00:00:50,498 --> 00:00:52,544 Hmm, right. But you were having affairs. 20 00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:54,502 Yeah, but it was a real headache, 21 00:00:54,546 --> 00:00:56,548 and you can't have that around here. 22 00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:58,898 I don't want this to be taken the wrong way 'cause, 23 00:00:58,942 --> 00:01:00,247 you know, I slept with Dee that one time... 24 00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:01,335 but, like, 25 00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:03,598 I'm, like, sick of looking at her. 26 00:01:03,642 --> 00:01:05,078 - I, too. - You know? Is it, is it just me? 27 00:01:05,122 --> 00:01:07,124 - No. - Okay. - No. 28 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,386 - No, it's not just you. - Okay, yeah, 'cause I'm not 29 00:01:08,429 --> 00:01:09,778 trying to be mean, it's not personal. 30 00:01:09,822 --> 00:01:11,128 You're just being honest about how you feel. 31 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,391 - Yeah. - Also, there's a smell. 32 00:01:13,434 --> 00:01:15,349 - Okay. - There's a smell, yeah. And a lot of women have this, 33 00:01:15,393 --> 00:01:17,395 and it makes me sick to my stomach, 34 00:01:17,438 --> 00:01:18,613 and-and I don't want to be around it, 35 00:01:18,657 --> 00:01:19,876 and I think that's what you're saying. 36 00:01:19,919 --> 00:01:22,617 Well, no, I haven't noticed a smell so much, 37 00:01:22,661 --> 00:01:24,271 but, no, I'm just saying, like... 38 00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:25,707 I feel a lot of tension in the workplace 39 00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:27,187 'cause we slept together, you know? 40 00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:29,233 Legally, that's called a hostile work environment. 41 00:01:29,276 --> 00:01:30,364 Okay, I can see that. 42 00:01:30,408 --> 00:01:31,931 We can legally fire her 43 00:01:31,975 --> 00:01:33,846 and bring in whichever man we want. 44 00:01:33,890 --> 00:01:35,413 Oh... okay. 45 00:01:35,456 --> 00:01:36,936 I see, I see where you were going with that. 46 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,678 Yeah, he's got an agenda. Uh, but either way, 47 00:01:39,721 --> 00:01:41,071 it-it doesn't matter. The point is, 48 00:01:41,114 --> 00:01:42,637 what we're talking about here is replacing Dee, 49 00:01:42,681 --> 00:01:44,378 and I think it's a great idea. 50 00:01:44,422 --> 00:01:46,076 I think, I think it's long overdue. 51 00:01:46,119 --> 00:01:47,860 Look, if we're going to bring in another woman, 52 00:01:47,904 --> 00:01:50,210 can we at least make sure she's competent? 53 00:01:50,254 --> 00:01:51,908 Competent? 54 00:01:52,323 --> 00:01:53,997 A monkey could do Dee's job. 55 00:01:56,036 --> 00:01:57,087 A monkey could. 56 00:02:17,411 --> 00:02:21,024 Terrific. Thanks for coming in. All right. 57 00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:22,721 Move. Move. Not gonna get it. No. G-Give me a break. 58 00:02:22,764 --> 00:02:24,244 - Move. - Wait, what is... 59 00:02:24,288 --> 00:02:26,029 You listen to me right now, Jeffrey. You listen to me! 60 00:02:26,072 --> 00:02:27,682 Because I have been listening to you for long enough. 61 00:02:27,726 --> 00:02:29,597 I'm sor... Who-who-who are you? 62 00:02:29,641 --> 00:02:31,077 No! 63 00:02:31,121 --> 00:02:33,384 No, no, no. This can't be happening. 64 00:02:33,427 --> 00:02:35,255 This can't be happening, I'm too young. 65 00:02:35,299 --> 00:02:37,083 Why are you doing this to me? Why? 66 00:02:37,127 --> 00:02:39,477 I-I-I... No. I don't want to change. 67 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,174 Y-You're not thinking straight, Cassandra. 68 00:02:41,218 --> 00:02:42,567 - You have to... - Oh, God, it's so hot. 69 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,308 Why is it always so goddamn hot? 70 00:02:44,351 --> 00:02:46,092 Somebody ought to crack a window. 71 00:02:46,136 --> 00:02:48,034 No, I-I-I need more time. 72 00:02:48,069 --> 00:02:49,226 I had it all planned out. 73 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,793 It was perfect, and this is just too soon! 74 00:02:55,449 --> 00:02:58,365 Oh, God! 75 00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:04,067 And that's the scene. 76 00:03:04,110 --> 00:03:05,677 Yes, I'm aware. 77 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,027 I'm done. I was in character before, 78 00:03:08,071 --> 00:03:10,812 but I'm me now, so you can tell me how good I was. 79 00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:13,815 Oh, okay. Well, you just cut in front of 15 other actresses. 80 00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:16,644 You're welcome. I took a gander at 'em and... 81 00:03:18,016 --> 00:03:19,778 Plus, I do feel like that's what the character would have done, 82 00:03:19,821 --> 00:03:21,519 and I've been in character all day. 83 00:03:21,562 --> 00:03:23,086 As a matter of fact, don't want to brag, 84 00:03:23,129 --> 00:03:25,076 but I've been in character all week. 85 00:03:25,111 --> 00:03:27,394 Okay, well, uh, I don't think you're quite what we're looking... 86 00:03:27,438 --> 00:03:30,441 Come on, man! No, I-I-I've been coming here for years, 87 00:03:30,484 --> 00:03:33,052 and-and you never put me past you to the director. 88 00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:35,620 Well, uh, listen, we have a-a lot of people 89 00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,481 are going to be reading for this role. 90 00:03:37,516 --> 00:03:38,518 No! I'm gonna see the director. 91 00:03:38,562 --> 00:03:39,754 You're gonna put me through to the director, 92 00:03:39,798 --> 00:03:40,886 that's what you're gonna do, 'cause I deserve it. 93 00:03:41,129 --> 00:03:42,783 I deserve it. I am a trained actor. 94 00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:44,481 Okay? I have spent 95 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,526 thousands of dollars on acting classes, 96 00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:48,920 and are you gonna try and tell me that was just all for nothing? 97 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:51,966 That all that money was just a waste? 98 00:03:52,674 --> 00:03:55,405 Well, uh, not for your acting teacher. 99 00:03:55,448 --> 00:03:57,015 Hmm? 100 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,283 You know, guys, it occurs to me 101 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,546 that, with this new employee, 102 00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:08,287 we could be looking at a lot less work 103 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,897 and a lot more available time. 104 00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,508 Perhaps we should consider a vacation. 105 00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:14,337 Oh, that's not a bad idea, man. 106 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,208 I've actually been getting a lot more comfortable 107 00:04:16,252 --> 00:04:18,341 with the idea of travel lately, like, um, 108 00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:20,299 check this out, did you guys know that, uh, 109 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,822 Pittsburgh is in Pennsylvania? 110 00:04:22,318 --> 00:04:23,322 - Yes. - Yeah. 111 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,043 No, think about that, though, that-that's crazy. 112 00:04:25,086 --> 00:04:26,740 Like, two cities in one state? 113 00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,003 - No, that's-that's not crazy. - No. No, not at all. 114 00:04:29,047 --> 00:04:30,831 No, no, no. 115 00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:32,137 All right, I don't think you understand. 116 00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:33,312 There's two cities in the same state, 117 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,748 like, how is that even possible? 118 00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:37,795 All states have more than one city. 119 00:04:37,838 --> 00:04:38,970 That's totally possible. Yeah, multiple cities. 120 00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:40,406 N... No. 121 00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:42,060 - Yes. - There's... No. - Yes. 122 00:04:42,103 --> 00:04:44,280 There's... Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 123 00:04:44,323 --> 00:04:45,629 Yes. 124 00:04:45,672 --> 00:04:47,239 So, that's what Pennsylvania is. 125 00:04:47,283 --> 00:04:48,936 - Oh, no. - No. 126 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,111 Oh, so Philadelphia's not Pennsylvania? 127 00:04:50,155 --> 00:04:51,330 - No. - No. 128 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,245 No, Philadelphia is in Pennsylvania... 129 00:04:53,289 --> 00:04:55,116 - What is this man talking about? - I... 130 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,770 I'm saying, how does Pittsburgh work? Am I constantly 131 00:04:56,814 --> 00:04:58,555 going in and out of Pittsburgh throughout the day, yes or no? 132 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:01,253 - No. - Explain this to me. 133 00:05:01,297 --> 00:05:03,777 Oh. Oh, I understand. I think I understand... 134 00:05:03,821 --> 00:05:05,344 - Really? - Finally, somebody gets it. 135 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,954 He's saying he wants to go on a vacation. 136 00:05:06,998 --> 00:05:08,739 - Yeah. Well, yeah. - He wants to go somewhere exotic. 137 00:05:08,782 --> 00:05:11,481 - Yes. - He wants to go to Fire Island. He wants to go to Greece. 138 00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:14,005 - He wants to experiment. - No. That's not what I'm saying, no. 139 00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:15,254 - He wants to try new things. - That is not what he said. 140 00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,355 Wait, we're not going to Pittsburgh. 141 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,617 'Cause we're already there. 142 00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:19,619 We're not in Pittsburgh. We're in Philadel... 143 00:05:19,663 --> 00:05:21,404 I... This-this is not easy. 144 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:24,537 Hey-o. Check it out. 145 00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:26,191 What the hell is this? 146 00:05:26,234 --> 00:05:27,540 It's Dee's replacement. 147 00:05:27,584 --> 00:05:29,237 Why did you get a monkey? 148 00:05:29,281 --> 00:05:32,632 Well, you know, we're gonna hire a girl to do Dee's job. 149 00:05:32,676 --> 00:05:35,505 We're gonna have to pay her. You don't have to pay a monkey shit, 150 00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:37,463 so I got a monkey instead. 151 00:05:37,507 --> 00:05:40,336 It's like I said, a monkey could do her job. 152 00:05:40,379 --> 00:05:41,685 Okay, but that's just an expression, Frank. 153 00:05:41,728 --> 00:05:43,251 We need an actual person. 154 00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:45,341 Oh, yeah? Check this out. 155 00:05:45,384 --> 00:05:47,604 Monkey, beer. 156 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,959 See? Great, huh? 157 00:05:55,002 --> 00:05:57,570 No. No, not great. Ridiculous. 158 00:05:57,614 --> 00:05:59,180 You think a monkey can run a bar? 159 00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:00,878 Run a bar? 160 00:06:00,921 --> 00:06:03,402 I thought it was just to do Dee's job. 161 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,012 Oh, yeah. We need someone to watch over the bar 162 00:06:05,056 --> 00:06:06,057 - 'cause we're gonna go on vacation now. - Right. 163 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,711 - Ooh, vacation? - Mm-hmm. 164 00:06:07,754 --> 00:06:10,191 - Has anybody floated out Pittsburgh? - Ah. 165 00:06:10,235 --> 00:06:11,497 What is with you guys and Pittsburgh? 166 00:06:11,541 --> 00:06:12,638 Okay, we're not going to Pittsburgh. 167 00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:14,979 If we're gonna go on vacation, we're gonna go someplace good. 168 00:06:15,865 --> 00:06:16,941 Yeah, thanks. 169 00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:18,600 I mean, we've got the whole world to choose from, 170 00:06:18,637 --> 00:06:20,898 and you guys want to go to the second-best city 171 00:06:20,941 --> 00:06:22,682 in-in Pennsylvania? It's crazy. 172 00:06:22,726 --> 00:06:23,857 Well, I don't know, like, are we in Pittsburgh right now? 173 00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:25,250 Pretty nice. We like Pittsburgh. 174 00:06:25,293 --> 00:06:26,382 Like, you know, how does Pittsburgh work, you know? 175 00:06:26,425 --> 00:06:28,427 Whoa, hang on a second now. 176 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,125 That is really good. What'd the monkey put in this? 177 00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:32,992 Beats me. 178 00:06:33,996 --> 00:06:37,436 Okay, well, it's-it's very, very delicious, uh... 179 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,447 What's the deal with this monkey, anyway? 180 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,221 He some kind of mixologist? 181 00:06:40,265 --> 00:06:41,484 He used to work in the movies. 182 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,355 He comes from a long line of movie monkeys. 183 00:06:43,399 --> 00:06:44,791 Rumor has it 184 00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:46,532 that he also did a short stint 185 00:06:46,576 --> 00:06:48,578 making drinks for Kitty Dukakis. 186 00:06:48,621 --> 00:06:49,927 - Wow. - Yeah. - Okay, okay. Interesting. 187 00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:51,711 You know those were stiff. 188 00:06:51,755 --> 00:06:53,321 Eventually, we're gonna need an actual person 189 00:06:53,365 --> 00:06:54,932 to run the bar if we're gonna go on vacation, 190 00:06:54,975 --> 00:06:56,521 you know, but, uh, while we're landing 191 00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,631 on where exactly to go, let's, uh... 192 00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:00,372 Mmm. 193 00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:02,461 Let's keep the monkey around 'cause that is 194 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,072 the best beer I've ever had in my entire life, I swear to God. 195 00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:06,465 Dee has never made a beer that tastes like that. 196 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:07,597 - You guys got to try this. — Really? 197 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,294 - I bet, yeah. - Monkey. 198 00:07:09,337 --> 00:07:12,123 - Three more. - Yeah. All right. 199 00:07:13,813 --> 00:07:14,833 Look at that. 200 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:18,054 Hello. Good afternoon. 201 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,260 I'm Deandra Reynolds, 202 00:07:19,304 --> 00:07:23,482 and thank you all so much for joining my acting class. 203 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,962 For starters... 204 00:07:26,224 --> 00:07:28,095 I don't have a limp. 205 00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,280 Right? 206 00:07:31,315 --> 00:07:32,317 Don't be shy. 207 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,580 Thank you. 208 00:07:34,624 --> 00:07:36,930 Thank you so much. Thank you. 209 00:07:36,974 --> 00:07:38,758 Oh, here's the thing, 210 00:07:39,675 --> 00:07:41,065 the first order of business, 211 00:07:41,108 --> 00:07:44,416 and perhaps the most important thing, is payment. 212 00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:47,158 Now, did everyone have a chance to get cash or cashier's check? 213 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:48,986 Okay, good. Great. 214 00:07:49,029 --> 00:07:50,553 Great, wonderful. Okay, well, let's get started. 215 00:07:51,359 --> 00:07:55,331 Chain saw, avocado, marlin. What'd I just say? You. 216 00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:58,986 Um... chain saw, avocado, marlin? 217 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,084 Right! 218 00:08:00,127 --> 00:08:01,520 Which is wrong. 219 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:05,219 You just violated the first rule of acting. 220 00:08:05,263 --> 00:08:06,438 You listened. 221 00:08:06,482 --> 00:08:07,874 When you are listening, 222 00:08:07,918 --> 00:08:09,397 you are not talking, 223 00:08:09,441 --> 00:08:11,225 and if you're not talking, you're not getting paid. 224 00:08:11,269 --> 00:08:14,054 You know who doesn't talk throughout an entire movie? 225 00:08:14,098 --> 00:08:15,316 An extra. 226 00:08:15,972 --> 00:08:18,015 Which brings me to rule number two, 227 00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:20,060 acting is... 228 00:08:20,104 --> 00:08:21,888 Oh, um, reacting. 229 00:08:21,932 --> 00:08:25,065 Wrong again. Acting is ignoring. 230 00:08:25,109 --> 00:08:26,458 Think about it. 231 00:08:26,502 --> 00:08:27,894 Ignore reality. 232 00:08:27,938 --> 00:08:30,070 You're in a casting office, not Jurassic Park. 233 00:08:30,114 --> 00:08:31,768 Ignore your scene partner 234 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,944 because you better goddamn believe they're ignoring you. 235 00:08:33,987 --> 00:08:36,990 And, for Christ's sake, ignore the script, okay? 236 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,166 You're better than a writer, right? 237 00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,708 Writers are dorks, okay? 238 00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:42,822 Any questions? 239 00:08:42,866 --> 00:08:45,129 No! Put your hands down! 240 00:08:45,172 --> 00:08:46,609 No. 241 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:47,914 Don't ask questions. 242 00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:49,350 That shows you don't know something, 243 00:08:49,394 --> 00:08:50,526 which makes you look weak. 244 00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:52,528 Got it? 245 00:08:52,571 --> 00:08:54,921 Now, if we could circle back on the payment thing again, 246 00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:57,054 it's pretty important to me, okay? 247 00:08:57,097 --> 00:08:58,577 'Cause I'm-I'm dead serious, 248 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:02,363 you're not walking out of here without the payment. 249 00:09:02,407 --> 00:09:03,582 Oh, my God, Charlie, 250 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,541 we're not going to Scranton. 251 00:09:05,584 --> 00:09:07,543 All right, fine. What about Harrisburg? Williamsport? 252 00:09:07,586 --> 00:09:08,718 Altoona? You know... 253 00:09:08,761 --> 00:09:10,415 Okay, will you at least consider 254 00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:12,112 going someplace outside of Pennsylvania? 255 00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:15,202 All those cities are in Pennsylvania? 256 00:09:15,246 --> 00:09:16,639 Are you kidding me? Like, you don't want to know... 257 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:17,944 thank you, monkey... you don't want to know, like, 258 00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:19,598 how this shit works, man? 259 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,775 No. I don't want to find out how zoning districts work. 260 00:09:22,819 --> 00:09:24,821 I don't care about that. Thank you, monkey. 261 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,387 I want to go somewhere exotic. 262 00:09:26,431 --> 00:09:27,650 Baltimore? 263 00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,608 - Baltimore is not exotic, Frank. - No. 264 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,263 I'll tell you, I've seen shit happen in Baltimore 265 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,221 - that would blow your mind. Thank you, monkey. - Wow. 266 00:09:34,265 --> 00:09:35,719 You know what, guys? I'll tell you what. 267 00:09:35,762 --> 00:09:36,876 Regardless of where we decide to go, 268 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,443 we're taking this goddamn monkey 269 00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:40,184 - because I love this guy. I love him. - Oh, yeah. 270 00:09:40,227 --> 00:09:42,142 It would be great if we could hire more monkeys 271 00:09:42,186 --> 00:09:44,144 to do our job for us while we're gone. 272 00:09:44,188 --> 00:09:46,451 Like, a team of monkeys who run the bar, you know what I mean? 273 00:09:46,494 --> 00:09:49,062 - Mm. - Oh, yeah, 'cause they're all out of work now, you know? 274 00:09:49,106 --> 00:09:51,021 - Yeah. - Yeah, because Hollywood decided 275 00:09:51,064 --> 00:09:53,632 you can't beat 'em no more, so they had to set 'em all free. 276 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,112 - What? - Are you seriously? - You can't beat monkeys? 277 00:09:55,155 --> 00:09:56,287 - No, you can't. - At all? 278 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,854 Those monkeys don't even have jobs anymore 279 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,029 - 'cause of these snowflakes? - Not allowed to do it no more. 280 00:09:59,072 --> 00:10:00,857 - These Hollywood... - Oh, my God. 281 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,032 I do have to admit, though, 282 00:10:02,075 --> 00:10:04,512 it-it is a little disappointing to, um, 283 00:10:04,556 --> 00:10:07,690 discover that a team of primates could do our jobs for us, but... 284 00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:09,300 I'm gonna blow past it 285 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:10,606 because I really do want to come up 286 00:10:10,649 --> 00:10:11,911 with a vacation spot for us, you know? 287 00:10:11,955 --> 00:10:13,826 So, here's what I'm thinking, guys. 288 00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:15,311 E-Everybody grab a napkin there, okay? 289 00:10:15,354 --> 00:10:16,437 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Grab a napkin. 290 00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,396 And, uh, everybody 291 00:10:18,439 --> 00:10:21,268 write down a destination on the napkin, 292 00:10:21,312 --> 00:10:22,879 and then we'll put that destination 293 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,055 in this bowl right here, 294 00:10:25,098 --> 00:10:26,709 I'll pick one out, 295 00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:28,580 - and that way not one of us decides... - Oh. 296 00:10:28,624 --> 00:10:30,669 but we let fate take over. 297 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,453 - What do you guys think about that plan? - Okay. 298 00:10:33,048 --> 00:10:34,050 I didn't say that 299 00:10:34,064 --> 00:10:36,153 - I don't love you. - Then what is it? 300 00:10:36,196 --> 00:10:37,807 Is it my gang ties? Because I don't need that shit. 301 00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:39,112 I'll leave it all behind. 302 00:10:39,156 --> 00:10:41,332 Just tell me what's wrong. 303 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,550 The baby... 304 00:10:42,594 --> 00:10:45,162 It's not yours. It's my... 305 00:10:45,205 --> 00:10:47,164 my... 306 00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:49,253 - my father's. - Bigger. 307 00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:51,168 - My father's! - N... louder. 308 00:10:51,211 --> 00:10:54,127 - My father's! - Yes! 309 00:10:54,171 --> 00:10:55,346 Good. Now you go. 310 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:59,132 - Your father's? - Louder. 311 00:10:59,176 --> 00:11:01,657 Your father's? 312 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,790 Okay! Now, this is what I'm talking about. 313 00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:06,662 - Nice work. - Do you all see that? 314 00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:08,751 Goddamn, that's what I want. I want to be able 315 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:10,622 to see your performance from the fucking moon. 316 00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:12,798 Guys, the louder you are, 317 00:11:12,842 --> 00:11:15,322 the more people have to pay attention to you. 318 00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:18,238 Yeah... Yeah, I-I don't understand the script. 319 00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:19,544 What movie did you say this was from? 320 00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:21,807 I-I didn't. I wrote it. 321 00:11:21,851 --> 00:11:26,159 It's a mash-up of Chinatown and Tupac Shakur's Poetic Justice. 322 00:11:26,203 --> 00:11:28,596 Oh. Are you, are you gonna write all the scenes? 323 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,730 Well, there you go asking a bunch of questions again, Tony. 324 00:11:32,647 --> 00:11:35,362 Uh, Kiki, how does that make him seem to you? 325 00:11:35,397 --> 00:11:37,214 Um... weak? 326 00:11:37,257 --> 00:11:39,042 Weak! Good. Very good. 327 00:11:39,085 --> 00:11:40,826 Now, you, Kiki, you're really getting this. 328 00:11:40,870 --> 00:11:42,262 But did you feel that? 329 00:11:42,306 --> 00:11:43,960 Did you feel how he went from, like, a hot stud 330 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,179 you'd like to bang to a weak little bitch 331 00:11:46,223 --> 00:11:48,007 right before your eyes? Right? 332 00:11:48,051 --> 00:11:49,879 I mean, that doesn't mean I still wouldn't do him, 333 00:11:49,922 --> 00:11:51,445 but that's between him and me. 334 00:11:51,489 --> 00:11:53,056 Tony, see me after class. 335 00:11:53,099 --> 00:11:55,754 Um... Okay. 336 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,583 Wrong! Wrong! Okay. 337 00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:00,977 People in power will try and bang you. 338 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,415 Now, sometimes it will be necessary to get the part, 339 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:06,504 but assess the situation. 340 00:12:06,547 --> 00:12:08,549 Why go all the way when a simple hand job will suffice? 341 00:12:10,116 --> 00:12:12,858 Tony, do see me after class. 342 00:12:12,902 --> 00:12:14,599 And the place 343 00:12:14,642 --> 00:12:16,427 that we're going to is... 344 00:12:19,008 --> 00:12:20,953 "Yell"... "Yellow"? 345 00:12:20,997 --> 00:12:23,173 What is, what is this? Who, who wrote this? 346 00:12:23,216 --> 00:12:26,350 Uh... Me. Yeah. 347 00:12:26,393 --> 00:12:28,656 W-Were you trying to s-say Yellowstone or...? 348 00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:31,616 Uh... no. Uh, just yellow. 349 00:12:31,659 --> 00:12:33,052 - Just yellow? Just the color yellow? - Uh, well, I panicked. 350 00:12:33,096 --> 00:12:34,401 You know, you were shooting down all the other places 351 00:12:34,445 --> 00:12:35,968 I've been naming, so I-I couldn't think of something. 352 00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:38,101 Okay, well, that's not a goddamn place, you idiot, so.. 353 00:12:38,389 --> 00:12:39,150 We're gonna try this again. 354 00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:41,495 Next place I pick out, that's where we're gonna go. 355 00:12:41,539 --> 00:12:43,367 Mm-hmm. 356 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:44,760 - "Purple." - Mm. 357 00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:46,196 What is happening? 358 00:12:46,239 --> 00:12:48,285 That was me. Yeah, I did purple. 359 00:12:48,328 --> 00:12:49,547 - You did purple? Two of you wrote colors? - Yeah, I... 360 00:12:49,590 --> 00:12:51,027 Okay, so you thought of a color, too? 361 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,637 I didn't understand the assignment either. 362 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,508 - It-it was not clear. - I said write down a destination, 363 00:12:54,552 --> 00:12:55,683 - and two people wrote down colors? - We're sorry, we're sorry. 364 00:12:55,727 --> 00:12:57,163 - I don't understand... - I like purple. 365 00:12:57,207 --> 00:12:58,861 I like purple, too, Frank. That's why I wrote it down. 366 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,688 Well, maybe we could go there. That could be pretty. 367 00:13:00,732 --> 00:13:02,952 Go where? Purple? That's not a place! 368 00:13:02,995 --> 00:13:05,128 - That... All right, you know... - Okay, you're right. 369 00:13:05,171 --> 00:13:08,348 I think, um... these beers are a little strong. 370 00:13:08,392 --> 00:13:10,873 - Are you drunk? - I... these beers are a little strong... 371 00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,744 I will admit that the beers are also stronger 372 00:13:12,788 --> 00:13:14,441 - than I was anticipating. - I like this beer. 373 00:13:14,485 --> 00:13:15,529 You know what, guys? 374 00:13:15,573 --> 00:13:17,488 I'm having a lot of fun here. 375 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,190 Uh, but I do want to figure this out, so, new plan. 376 00:13:19,283 --> 00:13:20,676 All right, here's what we're gonna do. 377 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,809 Instead of writing down places, 378 00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:25,855 why don't we write down key words? 379 00:13:25,899 --> 00:13:27,378 Or phrases, you know? 380 00:13:27,422 --> 00:13:28,728 Let's go with our instincts, you know? 381 00:13:28,771 --> 00:13:29,990 Whatever we want to feel, 382 00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:31,600 what-whatever we want to experience 383 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,080 on the vacation, okay? And then 384 00:13:33,123 --> 00:13:34,472 we'll put it up on a board. 385 00:13:34,516 --> 00:13:36,039 We'll look at it all together and then maybe 386 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:38,781 the destination will just reveal itself to us. 387 00:13:38,825 --> 00:13:41,871 And... we can drink more monkey beer. 388 00:13:41,915 --> 00:13:43,481 Yeah. 389 00:13:43,525 --> 00:13:45,658 - Monkey! - We'll drink monkey beer while we're doing it. 390 00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,747 - Monkey. - Four more monkey beers, monkey. 391 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:50,718 - Monkey, monkey, monkey beer! - Monkey! Four more! 392 00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:53,557 Ms. Reynolds, can I talk to you for a second? 393 00:13:53,638 --> 00:13:56,538 Oh, God, what's this? Listen, if you don't have the cash, 394 00:13:56,582 --> 00:13:59,062 you're gonna want to borrow it from, like, an uncle or a friend 395 00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:00,673 or something 'cause I don't make exceptions. 396 00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:03,632 No. It's, uh, it's not the money, um... 397 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,417 I just wanted to say... thank you. 398 00:14:06,461 --> 00:14:08,245 It feels 399 00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:10,291 so good to be seen like that. 400 00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,467 My parents don't really believe in me, so... 401 00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:14,991 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop talking. 402 00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:17,690 Holy shit. 403 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:20,301 You're making me realize something here. 404 00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:21,650 Maybe this doesn't have to be a scam. 405 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,695 What? 406 00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:23,913 Well, what I mean is, 407 00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:25,654 I-I was just able to give you something 408 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,916 your parents never did, 409 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,527 and all-all I had to do was... 410 00:14:29,571 --> 00:14:32,182 toss you a single compliment. 411 00:14:32,226 --> 00:14:34,010 I can control you. 412 00:14:35,029 --> 00:14:37,274 I can make you feel however I want you to feel, 413 00:14:37,318 --> 00:14:39,625 which will help you be a better actor. 414 00:14:39,668 --> 00:14:41,757 - Oh, I do want to be a better... - Shh. I'm not done. 415 00:14:43,328 --> 00:14:45,674 Oh, that's-that's real power. 416 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,503 Way more power than just acting, and I think that's what it was 417 00:14:48,546 --> 00:14:50,200 probably all about for me, you know? 418 00:14:50,244 --> 00:14:52,507 I just... I was searching for a sense of control. 419 00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:53,595 Oh, Kiki... 420 00:14:53,639 --> 00:14:55,162 you were... 421 00:14:55,858 --> 00:14:57,620 terrible. 422 00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:58,818 Wait, I-I was? 423 00:14:58,861 --> 00:15:00,689 No. No. 424 00:15:01,094 --> 00:15:02,386 I'm kidding. 425 00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:05,433 You were amazing. 426 00:15:05,476 --> 00:15:08,218 And you're going to make it. 427 00:15:08,262 --> 00:15:09,655 I believe in you. 428 00:15:09,698 --> 00:15:11,700 Oh, you do? 429 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,615 Maybe. 430 00:15:13,659 --> 00:15:15,443 I'm not going to tell you right now. 431 00:15:17,837 --> 00:15:19,055 But yes. 432 00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:23,364 Oh, my God! This is... 433 00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:25,366 This is amazing. Yes, Kiki, yes. 434 00:15:25,409 --> 00:15:27,107 I'm going to be there for you. 435 00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:28,978 I'm going to be the mother and father that you never had. 436 00:15:29,022 --> 00:15:31,589 I'm only going to take 35%... 437 00:15:31,633 --> 00:15:32,634 of all your future earnings, 438 00:15:32,678 --> 00:15:34,375 and I will never, never 439 00:15:34,418 --> 00:15:37,073 turn my back on you, do you understand? 440 00:15:37,117 --> 00:15:39,467 - Yes. - Because you... Can you give me one second? 441 00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:41,251 - My phone is buzzing off the hook in my pocket. - Oh, yeah. 442 00:15:41,295 --> 00:15:43,079 One sec. Hello? 443 00:15:43,123 --> 00:15:44,820 No! I'm gonna see the director. 444 00:15:44,864 --> 00:15:47,736 Um, hi, yes. Uh, is this Deandra Reynolds? 445 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,825 - Yup. - Right. Well, uh, 446 00:15:49,869 --> 00:15:51,653 - I'm so sorry to just call you out of the blue like this... - Faster. 447 00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:53,437 - What? - Faster. 448 00:15:53,481 --> 00:15:55,657 Right. Brilliant. Um, 449 00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:57,528 well, I am the director of the TV show 450 00:15:57,572 --> 00:15:58,616 that you crashed the audition on the other day, 451 00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:01,010 and we have a role that... 452 00:16:01,054 --> 00:16:03,404 Slower. 453 00:16:03,447 --> 00:16:04,666 All right, um, 454 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:07,147 well, as I was saying, I am... 455 00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:08,626 the... director... 456 00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:09,976 Too slow. Don't start over. 457 00:16:10,617 --> 00:16:13,109 Okay. Uh, well, I saw your tape, 458 00:16:13,153 --> 00:16:16,634 and, based on what I saw, and this conversation, 459 00:16:16,678 --> 00:16:18,593 I think we have a part that might be right for you. 460 00:16:18,636 --> 00:16:19,681 Stop. 461 00:16:20,741 --> 00:16:22,640 Attention, everyone. 462 00:16:22,684 --> 00:16:24,991 Dee Reynolds Acting School is officially closed. 463 00:16:25,034 --> 00:16:26,819 And I'm sorry, there will be no return on investments, 464 00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:29,386 but it was in the fine print. Have a wonderful afternoon. 465 00:16:30,385 --> 00:16:31,388 Continue. 466 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,962 Oh, my God. Oh, guys. 467 00:16:40,006 --> 00:16:42,965 What the hell is happening? 468 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,967 - Guys, wake up. - Huh? 469 00:16:44,991 --> 00:16:46,008 Wake... 470 00:16:46,012 --> 00:16:47,448 - Huh? - Wha... 471 00:16:47,491 --> 00:16:49,624 Oh, my God. My head is killing me. 472 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:52,845 Oh, dude. I am very hungover. I do not feel good. 473 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:55,499 Charlie, you're full of scratches. 474 00:16:55,543 --> 00:16:57,675 So are you. 475 00:16:57,719 --> 00:16:58,990 - Wait, I got scratches, too. - Oh, shit. 476 00:16:59,046 --> 00:17:01,897 Dude, Mac, I think you got bit in the neck, man. 477 00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:03,507 Is that shit on the bar? 478 00:17:03,551 --> 00:17:05,248 What-what is that... 479 00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:08,077 sour, salty taste in my mouth? Do you guys have that? 480 00:17:08,121 --> 00:17:09,426 - Yeah, I got that. - Yes. Yes, I have that. 481 00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:11,907 - What is that? - Yeah, it's real bad. 482 00:17:11,951 --> 00:17:12,995 Uh-oh, guys... 483 00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:14,388 Oh, yeah, I feel like shit. 484 00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:15,824 I think we've been outsmarted. 485 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,130 - What? - Huh? 486 00:17:17,654 --> 00:17:19,001 The monkey got us drunk, 487 00:17:19,045 --> 00:17:20,133 assaulted us, 488 00:17:20,176 --> 00:17:21,525 robbed the bar, 489 00:17:21,569 --> 00:17:23,397 and possibly fucked our mouths. 490 00:17:26,356 --> 00:17:28,663 - Oh, God! - Yeah, he did. That is what happened. 491 00:17:28,706 --> 00:17:30,012 Yeah, the guy who sold him to me 492 00:17:30,056 --> 00:17:31,622 did say something like this could happen. 493 00:17:32,392 --> 00:17:33,276 He did? 494 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,104 Yeah. Apparently, the monkey's grandfather 495 00:17:35,148 --> 00:17:37,541 was Fatty Arbuckle's monkey, 496 00:17:37,585 --> 00:17:38,629 and you know how these things go. 497 00:17:38,673 --> 00:17:40,457 These monkeys are passed down 498 00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:42,503 from one Hollywood creep to the next, 499 00:17:42,546 --> 00:17:43,896 until, eventually, 500 00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,028 they wind up under a bridge in Philly 501 00:17:46,072 --> 00:17:48,204 getting drunk and pulling scams. 502 00:17:49,352 --> 00:17:50,990 - Goddamn. All right. - What? 503 00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:52,818 All right, all right, we got to think about this. All right, 504 00:17:52,861 --> 00:17:55,908 so let's not take the monkey on our vacation. 505 00:17:55,951 --> 00:17:57,692 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 506 00:17:57,735 --> 00:17:59,172 The vacation. I think we landed 507 00:17:59,215 --> 00:18:00,826 on a vacation destination last night. 508 00:18:00,869 --> 00:18:03,089 Yeah, we did, we did. Look, look, look. 509 00:18:03,132 --> 00:18:04,568 - Oh, look at the board. - We did? - Yeah. 510 00:18:04,612 --> 00:18:05,961 We got something on here. Let's um... 511 00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,876 Okay, should we see where we're going? 512 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,052 - Yeah, where are we going? - Where we going? Where we going? 513 00:18:10,096 --> 00:18:12,446 All right, here we go... 514 00:18:12,489 --> 00:18:14,491 "Monkey beer island 515 00:18:14,535 --> 00:18:16,754 of green and fight." 516 00:18:16,988 --> 00:18:18,844 - Goddamn it. - That's not a place. 517 00:18:18,887 --> 00:18:20,454 - That's not a place? - No, it's not! 518 00:18:20,497 --> 00:18:22,891 No, it's not a goddamn place. You know what this is? 519 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,545 This is the ramblings of four men who got very, very drunk 520 00:18:24,588 --> 00:18:26,068 last night on a mystery concoction 521 00:18:26,112 --> 00:18:28,114 invented by a wild animal. 522 00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:29,985 Why can't we just be normal? 523 00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:31,552 - That is what it is. - That's so weird. 524 00:18:31,595 --> 00:18:32,770 - Why would we do that? - Because the monkey 525 00:18:32,814 --> 00:18:34,860 beers were so delicious. 526 00:18:34,903 --> 00:18:36,949 All right? That-that-that monkey may have been a pervert, 527 00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:39,690 but he was also a genius, which is often the case in Hollywood. 528 00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:41,170 You know what I'm thinking? 'Cause I'm seeing a lot 529 00:18:41,214 --> 00:18:43,346 of empty whiskey bottles around, 530 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,522 I'm thinking maybe that monkey was just pouring, like, 531 00:18:45,566 --> 00:18:46,915 half a bottle of whiskey in each beer. 532 00:18:46,939 --> 00:18:47,956 - You know? - That could be. 533 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,048 Based on my hangover, I think 534 00:18:49,091 --> 00:18:50,397 that's what I'm, that's what I'm feeling. 535 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:51,528 - Goddamn it. - That tracks, that tracks. 536 00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:53,139 So, monkey beer 537 00:18:53,182 --> 00:18:55,402 is just whiskey... 538 00:18:55,445 --> 00:18:57,534 - Whiskey-beer, yeah. - ... beer? 539 00:18:57,578 --> 00:19:00,146 So... 540 00:19:00,189 --> 00:19:04,019 "Whiskey beer island of green and fight." 541 00:19:04,063 --> 00:19:05,151 We're nowhere. We're nowhere. 542 00:19:05,194 --> 00:19:07,980 Hey-o! Whoa, what the hell happened... 543 00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,417 Eh, you know what? Don't care. 544 00:19:10,460 --> 00:19:12,636 Do not even care 'cause guess what, dick nips. 545 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,857 This big, dumb, flightless bird just booked a huge acting gig. 546 00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:18,294 Why don't you feast your eyes on 547 00:19:18,338 --> 00:19:21,123 "Obnoxious American MILF #1"? 548 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,954 - In your faces. That's right. - Ah... 549 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,608 And guess what. I leave tomorrow morning 550 00:19:27,651 --> 00:19:30,045 at 6:30 a.m. on a first-class flight 551 00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:33,744 'cause it shoots in Ireland, baby. 552 00:19:33,788 --> 00:19:35,877 Yeah! 553 00:19:35,921 --> 00:19:37,183 Body slam! 554 00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:42,492 - I mean, she doesn't... She comes in screaming. - That was the worst. 555 00:19:42,536 --> 00:19:44,146 - Screaming. - Cackling like a witch. 556 00:19:44,190 --> 00:19:47,062 Just screaming and screeching, like... 557 00:19:47,106 --> 00:19:48,846 Oh, my God. 558 00:19:52,676 --> 00:19:55,201 Oh, my God. 559 00:19:57,507 --> 00:20:00,032 - What? What is it? - I don't know. 560 00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:01,337 - I don't know. - Uh, you don't know? 561 00:20:01,381 --> 00:20:02,860 - Right? It wasn't clear. - Frank looked at me... 562 00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:04,253 Why did you guys act like you knew what it was, then? 563 00:20:04,297 --> 00:20:05,689 I don't know. We were all getting excited together. 564 00:20:05,733 --> 00:20:06,952 - I was excited... - And, yeah, uh... 565 00:20:06,995 --> 00:20:08,301 Goddamn it. Frank, you tell them what it is. 566 00:20:08,344 --> 00:20:10,564 - Yeah, what is it? - I don't know what it is. 567 00:20:10,607 --> 00:20:12,435 - You don't... - Okay, yeah, we don't know, uh, we don't know what it is. 568 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,916 Guys, guys. 569 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,875 "Whiskey beer island of green and fight." 570 00:20:18,726 --> 00:20:20,139 That's Ireland. 571 00:20:20,182 --> 00:20:21,792 Goddamn, you guys. 572 00:20:21,836 --> 00:20:24,273 What is this delicious drink? This is good. 573 00:20:24,317 --> 00:20:25,927 I was gonna go home and get some sleep, 574 00:20:25,971 --> 00:20:27,842 but I might have to get a couple soda pops in first, 575 00:20:27,885 --> 00:20:30,497 you know what I mean? Nice job. 576 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,890 Mmm. Mmm. 577 00:20:34,675 --> 00:20:36,807 - Ooh, wow. Is that poop? 578 00:21:05,879 --> 00:21:08,738 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com