1 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,357 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 2 00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:11,054 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 3 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,708 "Congratulations, Paddy's Pub. 4 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,492 "We are pleased to report that we are interested in featuring 5 00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:17,843 "your bar on an upcoming episode of our show. 6 00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,976 "We will be sending a producer to do a walk-through soon. 7 00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:22,109 "Warmly, your friends at... 8 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,284 Bar Rescue!" 9 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,981 Yes! 10 00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:27,288 This is like our dreams come true, right? 11 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,290 What? To be on a reality TV show? 12 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,726 Yeah. Wh... How did this happen? 13 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,119 I've been writing them a letter every week 14 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,121 since the show first started. 15 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,557 - Well, how long's it been? - Too long. 16 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:36,906 I very much do want to be famous, 17 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,560 but I don't know if I want to be on a reality show 18 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,170 where they try and make us look like jerks. 19 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,389 - Right. - Right. Oh, right, yeah. 20 00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:42,781 'Cause, like, what if they, like, edit it 21 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,131 to, like, make me look stupid or something? 22 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:46,524 Yeah. This is a definite pass for me. I'm out. 23 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:47,525 This could be huge for us. 24 00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,179 What are you guys talking about? 25 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,876 I'm a little disappointed that you didn't tell me earlier 26 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:51,877 because I would have been working out 27 00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,009 for weeks in preparation. 28 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,793 I mean, for God's sakes, man. 29 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,578 What if, what if my shirt falls off? 30 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,493 Yeah, yeah. I'm a little off my regimen, too. 31 00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,408 Like, I haven't even been doing any of my 32 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,626 - workouts. - Ever. He never has. Yeah. 33 00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,498 You guys are missing the bigger picture here. 34 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:06,283 I mean, wh-what are the odds that they would pick our bar? 35 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,720 This is a million-to-one shot, 36 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,592 and I've got a really good feeling about this, guys. 37 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,507 Things are about to change here at Paddy's Pub 38 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:15,684 because our luck just turned around. 39 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,925 Mac, stop. 40 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,057 The second I clean it up, you're making more crumbs. 41 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,319 - Stop. - There should be more crumbs. 42 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,886 We should put crumbs all over the goddamn bar. 43 00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:45,670 Sorry, but, Charlie, why am I seeing so many silverfish? 44 00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:46,889 I-I don't know where they're coming from, man. 45 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:47,977 I cannot get rid of them. 46 00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,500 You should not get rid of them. 47 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,850 Don't you guys understand what Bar Rescue is? 48 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,765 These are the exact kind of things 49 00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,290 that John Taffer's gonna come in and hand our asses to us about. 50 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,769 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 51 00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,510 No, I don't-I don't want to have my ass handed to me. 52 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,164 I mean, how the bar comes across is 53 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:03,427 - a reflection of how I come across. Okay? - Yes. 54 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,515 And I, for one, don't want to be known 55 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:07,301 as a silverfish man. Okay? 56 00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:08,780 I want to look good for the people watching 57 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,652 in their... 58 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,697 In, uh, th-the... 59 00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,354 Uh... What's the-the thing? 60 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,095 The-the boxes that-that people live in? 61 00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,531 You talking about their homes? 62 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,968 Y... Uh, yes, yeah. Their homes. 63 00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,883 Jesus. I couldn't think of that word. That's so weird. 64 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,190 Guys, we have a problem. 65 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,192 But whatever you do, don't laugh. 66 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:35,111 - How are we not supposed to laugh at that? - I wouldn't laugh at that. 67 00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:36,460 This is not funny, all right? It's not a joke. 68 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,722 I don't know what's going on with my face, 69 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:38,897 but it's broken or something. 70 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,334 It's very funny. 71 00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,770 That's really funny. 72 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,337 - Ah! - My egg's all bloody. 73 00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,382 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 74 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:46,731 This is bad, dude. 75 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,211 This is the kind of stuff that starts happening 76 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,734 when someone's put a curse on you. 77 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,693 - Curse? What are you talking about? - What? 78 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,129 Let's just stop and think for a second, okay? 79 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,565 Like, Dee, did you have any run-ins 80 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,351 with anyone who might have put a curse on you? 81 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,657 I mean, I had a tiny little issue 82 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,137 with a neighbor last night. 83 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,357 Yes! 84 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:06,447 Spewing my hate all over your teenage asses. 85 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:09,667 What? 86 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,104 Banging the goddamn door down. What? 87 00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,282 Yeah. 88 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,892 What? Why are you trying to break my door down 89 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:18,241 at 3:00 in the morning? 90 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,982 I baked you some brownies. 91 00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,113 Why you baking me shit? 92 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,811 - Trying to poison me? - No. 93 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:26,858 I just wanted to kindly ask if you could keep the noise down. 94 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:30,079 Oh. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 95 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,907 I didn't realize. 96 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,430 - That was really sweet of you. - Oh, yeah. 97 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,649 - To bake these for me. - Yeah. 98 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:36,259 Hey, I have something for you also. 99 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,435 - Oh, it's so nice. What is it? - Yeah. 100 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:41,090 Well, it's a trophy. See? 101 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,613 It says "Cunt of the Year." 102 00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,224 That's you. 103 00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,576 You are a nasty woman, 104 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:51,709 and bad things are going to happen to you one day. 105 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:54,669 I guarantee it. 106 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:55,757 Drop dead. 107 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,674 Well, there you go. It sounded like that lady cursed you. 108 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,459 I don't know. I call old ladies cunts all the time. We all do. 109 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,156 - Right. - That's true. - No, she brings up a good point. 110 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,767 - We do. We do. - I called an old lady a cunt this morning. 111 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,248 - See? - Did you? Yeah. - I sure did. I sure did. 112 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,597 - No, I might've done it, too, actually. - Honestly, 113 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,294 for me this raises an even bigger concern. 114 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,469 Okay. What's that? 115 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,384 Dee had no right to give that trophy away. 116 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,386 I mean, we worked very, very hard on that. 117 00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:18,475 We did. It's not easy to make. 118 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,781 - Nobody wanted to do it. - Plus, she earned it, right? 119 00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,391 - Yeah, you earned it. - And you earned it. 120 00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,219 And you're just gonna give it away? I mean... 121 00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:25,221 Either way, this is all bullshit anyway, 122 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,397 because we're not having bad luck, we're having good luck. 123 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:28,529 What about my egg? 124 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,226 You know what that might've been? 125 00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,489 Y-You might've gotten cursed when you killed that seabird. 126 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,491 - What seabird? - Oh, I didn't tell you guys about this? Okay. 127 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,754 So, the other day, uh, Frank's making a banana daiquiri. 128 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,887 Seagull flies right into the bar. 129 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,410 - Cheers. - Yeah. Here you go. 130 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,672 It's tasty. 131 00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:43,848 - Oh, shit. - What? 132 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,197 A seagull. 133 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,416 Whoa. 134 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,594 Oh, a little birdie. 135 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,075 Oh, what a sweet little birdie. 136 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:56,078 You want some food? Want some? 137 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,645 Whoa! Shit, Frank! 138 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,908 - Die! - Ah, Frank. Jesus. 139 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,127 Come here, you rat, die! 140 00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,828 Ah! Goddamn! 141 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,961 And die, you fucking seagull. 142 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:13,008 Bitch. Fucking cunt. 143 00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,880 Well, it's bad luck if a seabird flies into a building. 144 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,360 No, dude. It's bad luck to kill a seabird. 145 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,014 Every sailor knows that. 146 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,145 I don't sail. 147 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,364 Charlie, will you stop trying to turn 148 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,714 our good fortune into bad fortune? 149 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:26,413 All this doom and gloom. Nobody is cursed. 150 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,153 Oh, really, Mac? Because I straight-up heard. 151 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,273 Cricket curse you yesterday. 152 00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:31,766 All right. It's time to make good 153 00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,202 on your end of the bargain, Mac. 154 00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:34,464 What are you talking about? I still need proof. 155 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,031 Oh, come on, man. Don't start with that. 156 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,206 - We had... - Cricket, what are you doing in here, man? 157 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,338 That's what I was just saying. 158 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,817 Cricket, what are you doing in here? 159 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,819 What? What-what... No, we're-we're talking business. 160 00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,387 Business? I'm not doing business with you, street trash. 161 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,041 What is your deal, man? What-what... 162 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,521 One second you need me, the next I'm a pile of garbage? 163 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:49,784 - Is that what this is? - Cricket, beat it, man... 164 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,612 You better beat it or I'm gonna beat you with my shoe! 165 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,743 - You know what? - Get out of the bar, dude. 166 00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:53,788 You know what? Screw you guys. 167 00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:56,225 Oh. Hey, Mac. 168 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,444 A curse on you. 169 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:02,274 Vos omnes maledicti Mille annis. 170 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,714 I mean, he-he literally cursed you, man. 171 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:07,889 Now, guys, come on. We got to take this seriously. 172 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,891 Like, let's look at this. Like, uh, Frank. 173 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,414 Let-Let's do our homework on sailors' curses. 174 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,677 Dee, Mac, go make your apologies. 175 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,549 I will do nothing of the sort. 176 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:16,854 In fact, I am done listening to this. 177 00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,987 It's irritating, anti-God, 178 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:22,686 and most importantly will not make for good Bar Rescue banter. 179 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:23,861 I am leaving. 180 00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,428 Come on, man! 181 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:29,214 Charlie, how do you know all this curse... 182 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,783 - Stuff? - Yeah. 183 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,481 That... I mean, look, maybe it's real, maybe it's not. 184 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,221 But, like, look at it this way. 185 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,919 Like, i-if a black cat crosses your path, 186 00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,442 do you spit over your left shoulder? 187 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:40,487 - Uh-uh. - Why would I do that? 188 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,531 - No. - You guys don't do that one? 189 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:42,750 I don't know what that is. 190 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,186 Well, I mean, like, when you're hopeful 191 00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,535 for something, though, do you knock on wood? 192 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:47,102 - Oh, that one. No. No. - Nah... No. 193 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,103 I've heard of that one, but I don't do it. 194 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,452 Well, do you make a wish 195 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,801 when you blow out a damn candle? I mean... 196 00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:52,542 - Of course we do. - Yes. - Ah, yes, that one I do. 197 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:53,891 - You know what I'm talking about. - Candles, yeah, I like that. 198 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:54,979 Well, 'cause I want my wishes to come true. 199 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,241 Okay. And why do you do it? 200 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,156 You do it just in case. 201 00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:01,986 Just in case it's real, right? 202 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,597 And "just in case" is as good a reason 203 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:04,797 to believe in anything as any. 204 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,252 Hmm. 205 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,517 This is such a waste of time. 206 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,127 I got to call a doctor or something. 207 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,215 Oh, no, you definitely should. 208 00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:14,303 I'm pretty sure you have Bell's palsy. 209 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:16,087 I, uh, I looked it up. 210 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,872 But first you got to apologize to your neighbor. 211 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,701 Yeah. Just in case? Hmm? 212 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,442 Just in ca... No, no. 213 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,313 I don't believe in that bullshit. No. 214 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,749 She's got the trophy. I want to get the trophy back. 215 00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:27,403 You had no right to give that to her. 216 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,100 I swear to God, if she doesn't have that thing, 217 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,493 - I'm gonna paralyze the other side of your face. - Oh, okay. 218 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,582 'Cause I want it. Come on, that's-that's crazy. 219 00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,497 You-you have to be nominated for that. 220 00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:38,153 Hello, um, you don't know me, 221 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:41,069 but I'm the brother of this horrible woman, 222 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,810 and she just wanted to come by and tell you 223 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,812 that she's very... 224 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,077 Uh, she-she feels... She, uh... 225 00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,818 Oh, what's the word? 226 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,341 To make better the feelings? 227 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:55,126 - "Sorry"? - Sorry. Yes. Goddamn. 228 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,172 Um... I don't know what that... Yeah. 229 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:59,653 - Yeah. - Um, and also, she, um... 230 00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,611 She gave you something, uh, a trophy, 231 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,134 and-and it was not hers to give. 232 00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:04,614 Do-do you perhaps still have that? 233 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,008 - Yeah, I have it. I'll get it. - Yeah? Okay, great. 234 00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,575 You know what? I got to look up some clinics, 235 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:09,837 'cause I really need a doctor to fix my face 236 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:10,925 before we're on TV. 237 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,623 - Uh-oh. - Hmm? 238 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,582 - Whoa. Did-did you see that? - What? 239 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,322 See what? 240 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,455 Uh, a black cat just ran out of her apartment. 241 00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,413 - It just... - I didn't see a cat. 242 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,024 You kidding me? It ran right past us. 243 00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,068 Well, that's not good. 244 00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,592 - A black cat? - Yeah. 245 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,376 Well, shit. What'd Charlie say we were supposed to do 246 00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:28,464 if we saw it? That's a bad omen. 247 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,335 Oh. 248 00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:32,468 Oh! 249 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,209 Uh-oh. I got you, didn't I? Sorry about that. 250 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,427 - Yes, you did. - Yeah. 251 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,516 Boy, that's a shame. 252 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,604 - Thank you for this, though. - Yeah. 253 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:40,302 Um, listen, um... Do you have a cat? 254 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:42,217 'Cause I think I just saw one run out of your apartment. 255 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,088 - A cat? - Yeah, yeah. A little black cat? 256 00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:47,135 I had a little black cat. Her name was Maureen. 257 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,833 Whoa. 258 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,792 But she's been dead for years. 259 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,490 Huh. That's crazy. 260 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,448 I was, I was murdered to a woman named Maureen. 261 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,885 - Huh? - Huh? 262 00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,408 No, I meant married. I'm sorry. 263 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:00,540 I was married to a woman named Maureen. 264 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,715 I-I... 265 00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:03,847 That's so weird. I swear I saw a cat. 266 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:04,979 You know what? This place is full of cats. 267 00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,197 Can we get out of here, please? 268 00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,590 - Yeah, go. Go. - Okay. 269 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,984 And please keep the noise down at night. 270 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,768 Yeah. Okay, you got it, cunt. 271 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,164 Are you sure about this, Cricket? 272 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,818 Yeah, I'm sure about it, man. 273 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,384 I've been greasing the doormen of this building for years. 274 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,821 Chase Utley's back in town. 275 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,562 He's coming out of his apartment any second now. 276 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,607 Is it good intel? 'Cause I only got one good shot at this. 277 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:25,869 Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. What do I know? 278 00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,044 I'm just a street rat, right? 279 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,785 I'm just trash. That's what you said. 280 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:29,917 - Okay, Cricks, I'll tell you... - You've got nothing for me. 281 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,222 I knew you were gonna be a little bit of 282 00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,942 a bitch about this, so I did something nice. 283 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,966 - I got you a sixer. - You got that for me? 284 00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,185 Yeah, I got a gift for you, buddy. 285 00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:39,100 There's only four in here. 286 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,710 I drank two of 'em, of course. 287 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,625 Okay. All right. Well, thank you. 288 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,409 Oh, I'm gonna buy a six-pack and not drink two? 289 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,629 Well, yeah. That's kind of the kind thing to... 290 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,500 But I... Look, um, thank you for the four. 291 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,458 If I'm being honest, I drank four. 292 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,981 Two of those are piss. 293 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,504 Because I was stuck in the van, and you were out... 294 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,071 You know what, I don't even care, frankly. 295 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,812 - I'm just glad to have a beverage. - Yeah. All right. 296 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,248 All right, um... 297 00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,989 Dominus espritu sanctum, okay? 298 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,296 - You're off. - What was that? 299 00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:03,167 I was, uh, I was lifting the curse that I put on you. 300 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,301 Oh. Yeah, no, I don't believe in curses. 301 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,737 Yeah, that's anti-God, 302 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,652 and God is the reason that all things happen. 303 00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,262 And speaking of things that happened, 304 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,264 I got to show you something, Cricks, 305 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,266 but you got to keep it a secret. 306 00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,835 Something wrong with your dick? 307 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,968 - What? - Okay, I was waiting for this. 308 00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,404 If it's your dick, though, I-I got to charge you for it. 309 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:23,579 I'm gonna tell you right now. 310 00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:25,363 No. It's not my dick, Cricket. 311 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:26,495 Well, if-if you're gonna whip it out, uh, 312 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,366 we're on the clock. All right? 313 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,020 - I'm not whipping anything out! - There's a tiered system... 314 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,066 Look. This. 315 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,763 What? What is that? 316 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,287 It's a monkey paw, and I think it's good luck, 317 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,637 like a rabbit's foot or something like that, 318 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,855 'cause ever since I found it, 319 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,640 nothing but good things have happened. 320 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,250 Uh, sorry, I thought God was the reason 321 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,165 that anything good happens, et cetera. 322 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:48,125 Well, no. God decides who the good things happen to 323 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,692 and then who he smites. 324 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,694 - You're not following. - I-I can't follow it. 325 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,174 - Cricket, I'm... - It makes literally no sense. 326 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,306 - You got to pick a lane. - I don't even know why I even... 327 00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,134 - Let's get this open. I'm feeling curious. - Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 328 00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,396 Wait, that's... there he is, there he is. Okay. 329 00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,615 Let's go. 330 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,705 Mr. Utley? 331 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,707 Mr. Utley? 332 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,927 Mr. Utley, a moment of your time, sir. 333 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,580 Mr. Utley? 334 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,408 Mr. Utley, hello? 335 00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:13,629 Hello. Oh, hi. Hi, Mr. Utley. 336 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,500 Hey, uh, would you like an autograph? 337 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,764 Oh, no. That's a cl... A classic, Mr. Utley. 338 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:21,028 - I-It's me, Mac. - I don't know a Mac. 339 00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,769 I wrote you a letter every week for the last ten years. 340 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:25,075 Did you not receive my letters? There was a video. 341 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,251 A video in response. Wait. 342 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,427 "Dear Mac, I feel like I can call you Mac 343 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,299 "because you called me Chase. 344 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:34,128 "Thank you for the compliment on my hair. 345 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,520 "It's my fourth favorite thing after baseball, 346 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,219 "running fast and my dad. 347 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,003 "I'm sorry your dad doesn't like you. 348 00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:42,266 "Maybe you could become a better son. 349 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,007 "Meeting you and having a game of catch 350 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,096 "sounds like a lot of fun, but like I said, 351 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,751 "I'm really busy playing a lot of baseball for the Phillies. 352 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,797 "I hope you have a good life. 353 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,190 "Fans like you make my life a 'grand slam.' 354 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,453 Your good friend, Chase." 355 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,281 - Wait, you're that Mac? - Yes. 356 00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,719 I thought Mac was a little kid. 357 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,156 Yes, there's a child. A child... 358 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:05,550 A child born unto me. Little Mac. 359 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,117 - What? - He's Little Mac, I'm Big Mac, 360 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,162 and you shall have a catch with him. 361 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,598 Your hair, it's throwing me. 362 00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,861 It's making me very nervous. 363 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,645 On the Dodgers, yes, you were the Silver Fox. 364 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,647 Philadelphia, you were just the Fox. 365 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,649 I don't know, man. I'm pretty busy. 366 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:21,131 Yes, we're all, we're all busy, but the boy is sick. 367 00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,091 He's very sick. He's, he's dying. 368 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:27,529 He's got leukemia and you shall have a catch with him. 369 00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,966 - Where's my car? - I'll tweet that you didn't. 370 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,576 I'm sorry. I threatened you. 371 00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:32,882 Now I'm upset and so are you. 372 00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:38,279 A catch, we shall have? Later today. 373 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,934 Okay. Maybe, but for, like, five minutes tops. 374 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:43,850 - Yes. Yes, yes. - I'm really busy. 375 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,721 Mom? 376 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:48,028 Hey, can we pick your brain about something? 377 00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:51,292 Oh, Charlie, I didn't think you could make it. 378 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:54,643 - Come on in. - Yeah, shit, I forgot it's Uncle Jack's birthday. 379 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,645 Come on in, Charlie. You can sit next to me. 380 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:59,082 Nah, I'm good. Uh, we'll come back later or something. 381 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,084 No, no, no, no, Charlie. I want a piece of cake. 382 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,607 - Come on. - Oh, do you? Oh, shit. 383 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,131 Okay, all right, all right. 384 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,835 Okay, make a wish. 385 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,098 Oh, right, right, right. Okay, you and I hold hands. 386 00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:17,492 - Nope. - Okay, ready? 387 00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,015 All right. 388 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,017 - Oh! - Good. All right. Very good, very good. 389 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,497 Hey, you want to know my wish, Charlie? 390 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,629 - Sure don't, pal. - Ooh, don't tell him your wish, 391 00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,501 - it won't come true. - Yeah, there you go. 392 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,329 - Exactly. - I made a wish, too. 393 00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,592 How about you and me go on upstairs with some cake, Bon? 394 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,420 Hey, Frank, you don't get a wish, okay? 395 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:33,987 That's not how birthday candles work. 396 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,032 - Says who? - Uh, look, that's not why we're here! 397 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,817 Mom, Frank killed a seagull. 398 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,951 Hey, that's not good, Frank. 399 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,344 Yeah, we know it's not good, Uncle Jack. Okay? 400 00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,998 That's why... that's why we came here, all right? 401 00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:47,000 Mom, now is that the kind of thing that could put, like, 402 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,394 - a curse on Frank? - Yes. 403 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:55,008 They say that a sailor's spirit lives on in the gulls, 404 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,575 and if you kill a gull, the sailor 405 00:13:57,575 --> 00:14:00,013 can haunt you for the rest of its life. 406 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,015 - No shit? - Yeah, well, is there anything we can do, 407 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:05,018 - or, like... - Well, you could slit Frank's throat 408 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:08,151 with a horn of a goat and drink a bowl of his blood. 409 00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:09,761 What? 410 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:12,416 Well, uh, okay, yeah, maybe not, maybe not that. 411 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,853 Is, like, there anything else, or... 412 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,289 Ooh! 413 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:18,161 He could behead the gull and wear its skull 414 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,816 around his neck for the rest of his life. 415 00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:21,991 Mom, that's not gonna work, 'cause we don't have 416 00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,775 - the gull anymore. - Yeah, we do. 417 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,299 It's at the bar. 418 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:26,866 - What? It is? - Mm, yeah. 419 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,302 I kicked it under one of the booths 420 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:29,912 so I didn't have to clean it up. 421 00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,481 Okay, so you're telling me that you want to wear 422 00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,179 a seagull skull around your neck for the rest of your life? 423 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,399 I don't know. Could be cool. 424 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:39,182 No, we're not doing that. That's crazy. 425 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:40,357 Mom, anything else? 426 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:42,838 You could give the seagull 427 00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,319 a proper burial. 428 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:48,452 What? Well, yeah, that one, Mom. That one. 429 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:50,672 Why didn't you lead off with that one in the first place? 430 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:53,240 Well, sometimes you're at sea, Charlie, 431 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,372 and you wouldn't have that option. 432 00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:57,287 Do I look like I'm at sea, Mom? 433 00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:59,289 - I don't know. - You don't know if I'm at sea? 434 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,551 - Oh, okay. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. - You don't, uh... Uncle Jack, 435 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,988 stop. Stop putting your hand on me. 436 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,208 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 437 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,471 What are you doing? 438 00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:09,299 Looking for this. 439 00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,432 What is it? 440 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,955 Maureen Ponderosa. 441 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,043 - Well, why do you have that? - Well, I wanted to keep it 442 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,741 as a-a-a... 443 00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:19,266 Oh, a trophy? From the murder. 444 00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,181 No, not a... What? No, not a trophy. 445 00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:22,965 I... As... I wanted... 446 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,706 Like a souvenir f-from your victim. 447 00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:26,273 Not a souvenir, no. It's-it's, a... 448 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,971 It's a... I wanted to keep it as a w-way to spite her. 449 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,494 Which one? Which one's it under? 450 00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:32,583 - Uh, by the jukebox. Over here. - Oh... Ah! 451 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,933 - Over here. - I see it, yeah. Let me get a trash bag. 452 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,543 Eh. 453 00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:38,198 - What the hell is that? - That's the gull Frank killed. 454 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:40,504 - All right. - What's that? 455 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,897 Oh, that's his dead wife. 456 00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,594 - Yeah. - Looks like a trophy. 457 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,988 No, it's not a-a trophy, okay? 458 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,555 The crazy bitch had it in her will that she wanted 459 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,949 to be buried in a pet cemetery, and I refused. 460 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,602 Wait a second. 461 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,430 You refused your wife's dying wishes 462 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,824 to be buried in a pet cemetery? Why would you do that? 463 00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,478 Because she's not a cat. 464 00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:58,653 Yeah, but, dude, like, that's-that's the exact 465 00:15:58,653 --> 00:15:59,828 kind of thing that could lead to a curse. 466 00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,525 That... I know. 467 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:03,701 I... Yes. Okay, I get that now. 468 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,616 - This is bullshit, Cricket. - I don't know what you're so upset about. 469 00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:07,183 Y-You said get a kid. 470 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:10,056 I mean, his name on the street is literally "Kid." 471 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,188 - That's what he goes by. - He is a grown man. 472 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,930 I can be whatever you want me to be, champ. 473 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:17,541 - I'll make your dreams come true. - Oh, he can. 474 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,741 - Would you make it... Do a, do a turn. Do a spin. - Oh. 475 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,719 There you go. Make it sexy. Let's go. 476 00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,723 Yeah. 477 00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,029 Uh, move the bangs, put the bangs. 478 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,596 Show them your face, show them your face. 479 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:31,251 - Yeah. Huh? - Hey. 480 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:32,904 - Get him out of here. - All right, yeah. You're gone. 481 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,080 - Uh, here. Go. - Oh, yeah... 482 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,385 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 483 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:36,430 Drugs? Mm. 484 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,693 No eyes. 485 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,042 Okay. 486 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,304 It's all about respect. 487 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,914 Mac, what the hell is this? 488 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,700 Um, I believe that Cricket is now a pimp, 489 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,441 and that was his boy slut. 490 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,660 Uh, t-that's oversimplifying it. 491 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,836 But, uh, that's-that's it in a nutshell. 492 00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:53,099 No, we got that. He got, yeah, he means like... 493 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,579 Yes. I-I mean, what are you doing with Cricket? 494 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:56,885 No, he's got a monkey paw. 495 00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,322 Oh! Come on, Cricket. That's a secret. 496 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,194 Oh, I can't keep secret. Honestly, I'm so high, 497 00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,891 I'm thinking about it, and I'm gonna go 498 00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:05,372 with him in the bathroom and finish up the... Yeah. 499 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:07,026 Mac, what's going on 500 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,418 with the monkey paw? What is this? 501 00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,637 You know how I've been chasing Chase Utley 502 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,073 for years to have a catch? 503 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,075 Well, I finally got to him and we were supposed 504 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,860 to have a catch tomorrow with my "dying son." 505 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,384 Cricket was gonna help me find one, 506 00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,690 - but he brought back a junkie. - Wait, wait, wait. 507 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,215 You actually met Chase Utley? How'd you do that? 508 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:24,391 Well, ever since I found this monkey's paw, 509 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,306 my luck has totally turned around. 510 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:29,048 Well, actually, it wasn't just a paw. 511 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,094 It was a whole monkey behind the kegs, and he was dead. 512 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,183 He had this cash in his hand, and when I went 513 00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:36,185 to grab the cash, the whole hand just, like, kind of popped out, 514 00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:37,621 and I've been carrying it around ever since. 515 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,580 Monkey in the bar, right? Totally random. 516 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,582 Wha... That-That's not random at all. 517 00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,671 That's probably the monkey that worked here, 518 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,542 - robbed us and fucked our faces. - He got stuck behind the keg. 519 00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,544 - It's behind the kegs? - Well, actually, 520 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,372 I found him by the office, but I kicked him behind the kegs 521 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,287 because I didn't feel like cleaning him up. 522 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,810 - Oh! - Goddamn it! 523 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,203 Well, he is decomposing 524 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:55,813 and there's also a shit-ton of mold back there. 525 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:57,076 - Shit, now I smell it. - I don't know how I missed that. 526 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,860 Okay, okay. 527 00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,514 I got a new fix, all right? I got a new fix for everything. 528 00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,429 We're gonna take, uh, your wife, 529 00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:03,908 the gull and what's left of the monkey, 530 00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:05,736 and we're gonna bury them all in a pet cemetery. 531 00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:07,695 And Mac, you are gonna have a catch with Chase Utley, 532 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,392 but not with your dying son. 533 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,612 - Why not? - 'Cause he's already dead. 534 00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,442 I'm confused. 535 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,530 This is your son? 536 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,140 Oh, yes, Mr. Utley. 537 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,663 I didn't have the heart to tell you earlier. 538 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:22,362 He was only ten years old when he died. He's dead now. 539 00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:24,190 Why is he buried at a pet cemetery? 540 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:27,149 Dogs. He loved dogs. 541 00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:28,542 Okay, man. What is this? 542 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,500 What's going on? 543 00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,591 I'm sorry, I... 544 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,942 Look, I know you're gonna think that this is crazy, 545 00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:40,206 but I-I found this monkey paw, 546 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,164 and it's brought me really good luck. 547 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,732 And I know that you don't think superstitions are real, 548 00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,168 and that this is all ridiculous... 549 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,778 Not real? Of course they're real. 550 00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:50,172 - What, really? - Yeah. 551 00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,652 How do you think baseball players get out of their slumps? 552 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,393 With superstitions. 553 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,960 'Cause what they believe influences their actions. 554 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,397 But actions do have consequences. 555 00:18:57,397 --> 00:19:00,095 Like lying, Mac. 556 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,655 Why don't you hand over that monkey paw? 557 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,622 You're right. 558 00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:08,712 You're right, actions do have consequences, and I... 559 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,714 I'm really sorry, man, I think... 560 00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:12,977 Hall of Fame, baby, here I come! 561 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,199 What the hell was that all about? 562 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:20,420 I think Chase Utley just stole my monkey paw. 563 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,944 Oh. Well, then, maybe the curse has been lifted. 564 00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:25,207 - Oh. Right, yeah. - Uh, hey, guys? Um... 565 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,296 - Hmm? - Check this out. 566 00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:30,125 Okay, so, apparently, um... 567 00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:32,649 temporary facial paralysis and brain fog 568 00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:34,912 are all symptoms of exposure to high levels of mold. 569 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,698 - Huh? - Oh... 570 00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:40,222 You know what? That might also explain the silverfish. 571 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:41,441 Yeah, no, it does. Actually, it does. 572 00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:42,746 They eat mold. 573 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:43,834 - Huh? - And what about my egg? 574 00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:44,879 Well, is it possible, Frank, 575 00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,707 that that egg was a seagull egg? 576 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,101 - Oh... - That might've been, because, you know what, 577 00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:52,060 - we found some eggs... - And we... 578 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,409 - And you might've mixed them up. - I might've swapped... 579 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,150 - Mixed them up. - Yeah, 'cause we had store eggs 580 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,412 - and we had found eggs. - You did a flip-flop. 581 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:57,892 - You did a flip-flop. - Yeah, there you go. 582 00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:58,936 So, the... so, there's no curse. 583 00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:01,069 Oh, no. Hold on a second. 584 00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,940 "Dear Mr. McDonald, we regret to inform you 585 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,552 that we came by your bar and there was nobody there." 586 00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:07,467 - Huh? - "After several failed attempts 587 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,860 "to reach you, we have decided to rescind our offer. 588 00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:12,689 We wish you the best of luck. Your friends at Bar Rescue." 589 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:13,995 Damn it. If I had that monkey paw, 590 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:15,736 none of this would've happened. 591 00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,216 Yeah, so that means we are still cursed. 592 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,173 - Oh, no. - Shit. - No, it doesn't, it doesn't! 593 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:19,696 We're not... There is no curse. 594 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:21,698 Okay? Mac, no, you were never lucky. 595 00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:23,961 Okay? You just bombarded them both with mail. 596 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,398 And you stalked Chase Utley for years. 597 00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:28,575 We're not unlucky, okay? We're just the type of... 598 00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:31,142 We're just the type of people to bury various animals 599 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,493 and-and wives in a pet cemetery 600 00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:35,277 when we know we should be at work. 601 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,148 - Oh, yeah. - Let's go back to the bar. 602 00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:39,238 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 603 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,414 Uh, what about me? What about my luck? 604 00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:45,200 I don't know, Cricks, I guess... there's no real explanation 605 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,202 as to why bad things would happen to you. 606 00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:49,248 - Yeah. - You know, it's just one of those things, Cricket. 607 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,466 - That's life. That's life, sometimes. - Yeah, man. 608 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:51,902 - It is what it is. - You got a dark cloud 609 00:20:51,902 --> 00:20:53,730 - following you around. - It is what it is. 610 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,297 - That's all there is to it. - It is what it is. 611 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:56,646 - It is what it is. - Nice day.