1 00:00:06,119 --> 00:00:08,560 Frank! Frank, come on, man! We got to go! 2 00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:10,587 - We got to go! - Oh, what? 3 00:00:10,598 --> 00:00:11,735 Come on, man, we're gonna miss it. 4 00:00:11,746 --> 00:00:13,192 - Wake up, wake up. Come on. - Wh-What? 5 00:00:13,203 --> 00:00:14,239 - Right away! - Okay. 6 00:00:14,272 --> 00:00:17,395 Guys, make way. Make way, please. 7 00:00:17,406 --> 00:00:19,542 - Hey, wait, no, no, please. - Cutting it pretty close there, pal. 8 00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:20,869 Ah, I feel like I got to take a shit. 9 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,403 No, no, no, no, no. There's no time for that. 10 00:00:22,414 --> 00:00:24,213 - Oh, God, excuse me. Come on. - No, no, no, no, no autographs. 11 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,818 - I'm not ready for this. - Listen, listen. 12 00:00:25,829 --> 00:00:27,247 - You got it, you got it, you got it. - Listen to me. 13 00:00:27,258 --> 00:00:29,204 - Back off, back off. - Frank, you are ready. 14 00:00:29,215 --> 00:00:32,777 Everything you need is already inside you. 15 00:00:32,788 --> 00:00:35,303 Move. No, out of the way. 16 00:01:00,457 --> 00:01:05,457 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 17 00:01:08,341 --> 00:01:09,857 - Dennis, please. Just... - God, no. 18 00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:11,743 Please, please. Pretty please, just help me. 19 00:01:11,754 --> 00:01:13,290 No! No, Mac. 20 00:01:13,301 --> 00:01:14,818 I'm not helping you, okay? 21 00:01:14,829 --> 00:01:16,366 Stop talking to me about Johnny. 22 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,615 Well, hey, I could help you with your guy troubles. 23 00:01:20,158 --> 00:01:21,888 No, thanks, Dee. You suck with men. 24 00:01:21,899 --> 00:01:24,537 Tell that to the guy leaving my apartment this morning. 25 00:01:24,594 --> 00:01:28,034 That's right. Your girl got her guts pumped last night. 26 00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:29,727 Oh, my God, that is disgusting. 27 00:01:29,738 --> 00:01:31,942 - Your guts pumped? - Aren't you, like, 60? 28 00:01:31,953 --> 00:01:34,080 - You're not a girl. - Yeah, come on, Dee. This is insane. 29 00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:35,662 - I mean... really. - Who talks like that? 30 00:01:35,673 --> 00:01:38,614 And, by the way, anybody can get a guy to bang them once. 31 00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:40,595 Okay, well, I guarantee you 32 00:01:40,606 --> 00:01:42,443 he'll be coming back for seconds. 33 00:01:42,454 --> 00:01:45,427 In fact, he pulled an old move of mine. 34 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,510 He took my phone "by mistake" 35 00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:48,842 so that he could see me again. 36 00:01:48,853 --> 00:01:51,352 Oh, okay. Yeah. 37 00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:53,003 - Mm-hmm. - How's he gonna call you? 38 00:01:56,228 --> 00:01:57,871 - Dennis, can you help me get my phone... - No. 39 00:01:57,882 --> 00:02:00,142 - Dennis, Dennis, I need your help really quick, man. - No! 40 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:02,014 Do you remember when we stole a restaurant buzzer the other day? 41 00:02:02,025 --> 00:02:04,707 I can't find it anywhere. It's a matter of national security here, man. 42 00:02:04,717 --> 00:02:06,346 Oh, yes, no, no, I'm sure, yeah. 43 00:02:06,357 --> 00:02:07,706 You know what? Maybe it's in the back office. Let me check 44 00:02:07,717 --> 00:02:09,163 the back office. Frank, let me check the back office. 45 00:02:09,174 --> 00:02:10,920 Hey, uh, Frank, could you help me with something? 46 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:11,987 - Yeah. - Are you kidding? 47 00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,644 You want Frank's help with your guy troubles? 48 00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,128 He's insanely homophobic. 49 00:02:15,139 --> 00:02:17,443 Huh? Not anymore. 50 00:02:17,498 --> 00:02:19,804 No, once Mac did the dance, 51 00:02:20,082 --> 00:02:21,540 then I get it. I get the gay thing. 52 00:02:21,551 --> 00:02:22,781 He gets it. He's an ally now. 53 00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,613 Okay, so, Frank, I need some relationship advice. 54 00:02:24,624 --> 00:02:25,927 - Yeah. - I'm having some issues 55 00:02:25,961 --> 00:02:27,319 - with this guy that I'm dating. - Yeah. 56 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:28,883 - I want to take it to the next level, you know, - Right. 57 00:02:28,894 --> 00:02:31,108 by actually meeting this guy. 58 00:02:31,119 --> 00:02:32,321 What, you've never met the guy? 59 00:02:32,332 --> 00:02:35,102 No, never met him, never spoken with him, never seen him, 60 00:02:35,112 --> 00:02:37,765 but it's not weird because we're in constant communication 61 00:02:37,776 --> 00:02:38,812 through the beads. 62 00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:43,028 - The beads? - Oh, yes. The extra-large anal beads 63 00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:44,609 that I shoved up my butt, 64 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,281 and Johnny can control them 65 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:48,168 via an app on his phone. 66 00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,531 And when I feel the buzz, 67 00:02:49,542 --> 00:02:51,189 I know it's time to go to the motel 68 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,237 and wait. It's very romantic. 69 00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:56,488 Uh, yes, he's never actually showed up before, 70 00:02:56,499 --> 00:02:59,740 but one day he will, and it's going to be hot. 71 00:03:00,219 --> 00:03:02,354 That's it. I'm out. 72 00:03:02,506 --> 00:03:05,996 I'm out. That's it. I don't get it. I am never gonna get it. 73 00:03:06,007 --> 00:03:08,530 - Beads? You never said anything about beads. - Let me-let me explain it again. 74 00:03:08,541 --> 00:03:10,331 - What beads? - It's beads that go into my ass. 75 00:03:10,342 --> 00:03:12,754 The dance never said anything about no beads. 76 00:03:12,765 --> 00:03:14,195 Frank, I found it. I found it. I found it. 77 00:03:14,206 --> 00:03:16,275 Let's get the hell out of here. 78 00:03:16,286 --> 00:03:17,412 We got it, guys, we're good. 79 00:03:17,423 --> 00:03:18,721 Anal beads up his ass. 80 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,243 Dennis, can you please help me get my phone back? 81 00:03:20,254 --> 00:03:22,523 - 'Cause I need my phone. - No, Dennis, help me, though. Help me because 82 00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:24,010 - I need help... - No, you are beyond help, okay? 83 00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:27,395 - You let a stranger hack your butthole. Dennis... - Enough! Enough. 84 00:03:28,264 --> 00:03:30,879 It is clear that I'm not going to get a moment's peace until 85 00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:32,693 I foist you two off on someone else, 86 00:03:32,704 --> 00:03:34,067 so, fine, I will help you. 87 00:03:34,078 --> 00:03:36,853 - Okay. Okay. - Oh, yeah! All right, all right, let's go. 88 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,648 This is all I could find. 89 00:03:40,659 --> 00:03:42,593 Yeah, no, this is good. Um... 90 00:03:42,604 --> 00:03:45,182 Okay, are there, like, a pair of, like, weird spy glasses 91 00:03:45,193 --> 00:03:46,325 in here or anything? 92 00:03:46,336 --> 00:03:49,362 - Aw, shit. - They dropped all those charges weeks ago. Wh... 93 00:03:49,373 --> 00:03:50,813 Call you back. 94 00:03:50,824 --> 00:03:53,493 Hey, what are you guys doing with all my research equipment? 95 00:03:53,504 --> 00:03:55,494 Charlie and Frank are gonna play spies. 96 00:03:55,505 --> 00:03:57,804 Yeah, well, we're not playing spies, we're playing chess, okay? 97 00:03:57,815 --> 00:03:59,462 There's a Russian grandmaster coming to town. 98 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:00,907 I'm entering Frank in the tournament, 99 00:04:00,918 --> 00:04:02,481 and then he's gonna rise through the ranks, 100 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,760 and he's gonna beat this guy's ass, USA style. 101 00:04:04,771 --> 00:04:06,274 So, I need the glasses, Uncle Jack, 102 00:04:06,285 --> 00:04:08,079 because Frank's got to be able to transmit me the board 103 00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,403 while I play along on a computer 104 00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:11,619 and I signal him the moves with the restaurant buzzer. 105 00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:13,584 No, stop, stop, stop. Uh, you're gonna break it. 106 00:04:13,595 --> 00:04:15,628 This is, uh, very sensitive equipment. 107 00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:17,143 Right, yeah, okay. 108 00:04:17,154 --> 00:04:19,024 Look, do you have the spy glasses or not, dude? 109 00:04:19,035 --> 00:04:20,895 Fine. I'll let you borrow them, but I'm coming with. 110 00:04:20,906 --> 00:04:23,190 Okay? I don't want you breaking any of this. 111 00:04:23,201 --> 00:04:24,494 A play date. 112 00:04:24,505 --> 00:04:25,708 - Goddamn it. - Oh, yeah. 113 00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:27,484 - Like we used to. - We never did. 114 00:04:27,495 --> 00:04:30,220 - Ah... You don't remember. - Man, we never did. 115 00:04:32,159 --> 00:04:34,280 I mean, what is taking Uncle Jack so long? 116 00:04:34,291 --> 00:04:36,744 Well, why don't we just go in? 117 00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:37,958 Hang on. 118 00:04:42,131 --> 00:04:43,819 - What the... - Is that-is that him? 119 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:45,467 Holy shit. 120 00:04:46,134 --> 00:04:48,778 Uh, Uncle Jack, what-what is this? 121 00:04:48,991 --> 00:04:50,398 My ice cream truck. 122 00:04:50,409 --> 00:04:53,081 You know, I-I have, like, a side business. 123 00:04:53,248 --> 00:04:55,936 Ugh. All right, fine. You know what? Actually, this could work. 124 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,182 - You got the spy glasses? - Yeah. Here they are. 125 00:04:57,193 --> 00:04:58,989 - Glasses. - Here's how this goes. 126 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,357 - Frank, you got the buzzer? - Yeah, I got the buzzer. 127 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,201 All right, so Frank's got a buzzer in his pocket, okay? 128 00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:03,905 - I'm gonna put it in my pocket. - So, he'll hover his hand over the piece, 129 00:05:03,916 --> 00:05:06,430 you know, one buzz for yes, two buzzes for no, 130 00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:08,421 three if you need him to switch to a different piece, okay? 131 00:05:08,432 --> 00:05:09,863 Same goes for where to put it down. Got it? 132 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,023 - Okay. Yup. - You clear? 133 00:05:11,034 --> 00:05:13,170 - Give me a Push Pop, will you? - And get him a Push Pop. 134 00:05:13,181 --> 00:05:15,885 What? Oh, no, I-I don't have any ice cream. 135 00:05:15,926 --> 00:05:17,760 - Oh. - Oh, my God. All right, fine. 136 00:05:17,771 --> 00:05:18,960 Just... just... 137 00:05:19,354 --> 00:05:21,247 - get to your spot and play the... Ugh. - Okay. 138 00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:23,019 Hey, I'll be watching you. 139 00:05:25,385 --> 00:05:27,756 Hm... 140 00:05:27,856 --> 00:05:29,676 Should I go here? 141 00:05:29,687 --> 00:05:33,194 Mm. Or should I go... 142 00:05:33,205 --> 00:05:34,710 here? 143 00:05:34,721 --> 00:05:37,105 Charlie, don't look at the kid, look at the board. 144 00:05:37,116 --> 00:05:40,035 Actually, one quick look at the kid again, so I can get a screen grab. 145 00:05:40,046 --> 00:05:42,275 - Gross, no, man, no. - No? No? 146 00:05:42,286 --> 00:05:43,572 I... No, not you. Sorry. 147 00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:45,470 Talking to the voices in my head, so... 148 00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:47,267 - Stay on the board. - Yup. Yes. 149 00:05:47,278 --> 00:05:49,402 Don't mind my friend. He's schizophrenic. 150 00:05:49,413 --> 00:05:50,686 I am, yeah. 151 00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:53,771 - Got it. - Go eh... 152 00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:58,059 Boom. I took your little castle-y thing. 153 00:05:58,070 --> 00:06:01,156 Suck on that, boy! 154 00:06:01,167 --> 00:06:03,460 If he does, let me get another screen grab. 155 00:06:03,471 --> 00:06:05,468 Shut up, dude. That's gross, man. 156 00:06:05,479 --> 00:06:07,307 - Uh-oh, uh-oh. - Sir? 157 00:06:07,318 --> 00:06:09,069 Uh, sir, may I have a word with you? 158 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,119 Um, absolutely not because I'm in the middle of watching 159 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:12,268 a game of chess. 160 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,143 Uh, there is no alcohol allowed on the premises. 161 00:06:15,365 --> 00:06:16,959 What? Wh-What do you mean? 162 00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:18,362 Like, I got to drink wine or something? 163 00:06:18,373 --> 00:06:20,204 No alcohol at all. 164 00:06:20,215 --> 00:06:22,474 - At a sporting event? - That's crazy. 165 00:06:22,485 --> 00:06:24,924 Fine, dude. Here you go. 166 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,489 Frank, I'm gonna have to find some way to sneak beer in here. 167 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,839 Excuse me? 168 00:06:28,896 --> 00:06:31,000 Dude, are you still here? Go away. 169 00:06:31,444 --> 00:06:33,129 I gave you the beer, man. 170 00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:39,664 Now, as you're both aware, I have a foolproof system 171 00:06:39,675 --> 00:06:41,211 for attracting a woman. 172 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:46,056 But I also have a foolproof system for attracting a man. 173 00:06:46,153 --> 00:06:49,126 - Aw, awesome. - No way. 174 00:06:49,137 --> 00:06:50,425 - Why? - How come? - Shh, shh. 175 00:06:50,436 --> 00:06:52,612 Shh. Shh. 176 00:06:53,505 --> 00:06:55,207 Okay. Now, it begins 177 00:06:55,218 --> 00:06:58,959 with me setting you both up with nice, normal dates. 178 00:06:59,798 --> 00:07:01,191 You will begin by greeting them 179 00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:03,005 with the traditional pleasantries. 180 00:07:03,016 --> 00:07:04,256 Very nice to meet you, Patrick. 181 00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:05,470 Kyle, it's a pleasure. 182 00:07:05,917 --> 00:07:07,188 Pleasure's all mine. 183 00:07:07,443 --> 00:07:11,128 I'll be nearby, of course, to make sure nothing goes awry. 184 00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,123 Step one. 185 00:07:14,657 --> 00:07:16,996 S... suppress your instincts. 186 00:07:17,455 --> 00:07:20,057 See, your first instinct is going to be to try to make yourself 187 00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:22,397 seem awesome to him, but that's wrong. 188 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,072 'Cause this isn't about you. 189 00:07:24,083 --> 00:07:25,747 This is a man we're talking about. 190 00:07:25,758 --> 00:07:27,494 It's always about him. 191 00:07:27,961 --> 00:07:29,922 Okay? So, you're going to... 192 00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:32,534 I... inflate his ego. 193 00:07:32,545 --> 00:07:36,320 Make him feel like he's awesome, he's funny, 194 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:39,178 he's the most interesting person in the room. 195 00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:41,049 You're the most interesting person in this room. 196 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,629 Uhp, uhp, uhp. Hi. 197 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:43,894 Hello. 198 00:07:43,905 --> 00:07:45,788 I just wanted to come over and introduce myself. 199 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,038 I'm-I'm the manager 200 00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:48,298 - of the establishment. - Yes, I was just saying 201 00:07:48,309 --> 00:07:50,210 that he's the most interesting man in the room. 202 00:07:50,221 --> 00:07:52,654 Yeah. You know, it's... I-I caught that, actually, 203 00:07:52,665 --> 00:07:55,568 and I wanted to say to you that, uh, Mac does, 204 00:07:55,579 --> 00:07:57,488 in fact, know everyone here, 205 00:07:57,499 --> 00:07:59,612 which he would, of course, 206 00:07:59,623 --> 00:08:02,836 have to in order to have said something like that. 207 00:08:02,847 --> 00:08:04,769 So, it's meaningful. 208 00:08:06,447 --> 00:08:08,384 Now, once your man's feeling important, 209 00:08:08,395 --> 00:08:10,632 you're gonna show him that you... 210 00:08:10,643 --> 00:08:13,468 N... need his power. 211 00:08:13,479 --> 00:08:14,559 Mm. 212 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:15,818 See, every man's greatest fear 213 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,778 is that he's a... pussy. 214 00:08:18,451 --> 00:08:20,832 - Mm. - You need to make him feel powerful. 215 00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:23,839 Oh, boy. 216 00:08:24,174 --> 00:08:27,418 Oh... man. I just can't seem to get this open. 217 00:08:27,429 --> 00:08:29,834 - Do you think you could help me out? - Sure. 218 00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:35,370 Oh, this is really on tight. 219 00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:38,270 Uh, are you-are you being serious? 220 00:08:38,281 --> 00:08:40,141 Oh, Christ, Bozo, give it back to me. I'll do it. 221 00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:42,223 Wai... No, no. Uh, no. Yeah, it's... You can't. 222 00:08:42,234 --> 00:08:43,611 You can't. You couldn't. 223 00:08:43,622 --> 00:08:45,745 No one could, because these bottles... 224 00:08:45,756 --> 00:08:47,891 are all, uh... 225 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,040 they're defective and un-openable. 226 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:52,013 Yeah, there's been a recall, actually. See? 227 00:08:52,024 --> 00:08:54,430 It's-it's impossible. Nobody could... 228 00:08:54,441 --> 00:08:56,873 get these open today. 229 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:59,757 - Mm. - You know what? You do look very, very strong. 230 00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:02,697 You mind giving this one more shot for me? 231 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,997 Let's see if you can get it. 232 00:09:05,325 --> 00:09:07,212 - Oh! - Whoa. 233 00:09:07,223 --> 00:09:08,512 - Wow. - Wow. 234 00:09:10,829 --> 00:09:12,565 Now that your man's feeling powerful, 235 00:09:12,576 --> 00:09:14,613 on top of the world, you must... 236 00:09:14,816 --> 00:09:16,398 rip it away from him. 237 00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:19,932 You're going to N... negate his power. 238 00:09:20,106 --> 00:09:21,887 Yeah, but this needs to be subtle. 239 00:09:21,898 --> 00:09:24,102 A man's ego is... fragile. 240 00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:27,162 The goal here is to make him feel that he may be a... 241 00:09:27,219 --> 00:09:28,554 tad bit inadequate, 242 00:09:28,671 --> 00:09:31,076 in comparison, maybe, to a former lover. 243 00:09:31,544 --> 00:09:33,816 - Yes? But don't lay it on too thick. - Oh. 244 00:09:33,827 --> 00:09:36,299 - Mm. Mm-hmm. - Subtle. 245 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,637 I used to fuck LeBron James. 246 00:09:38,648 --> 00:09:41,564 Oh, God. 247 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,228 Now, even if things have gone a little off the rails at this point, 248 00:09:45,239 --> 00:09:47,885 we can get things back on track with a classic. 249 00:09:47,931 --> 00:09:51,371 E... engage physically. 250 00:09:51,397 --> 00:09:53,014 - Hey-o. - Yeah. 251 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,401 But you got to make sure that your physical engagement 252 00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:57,516 is appropriate to the environment, okay? 253 00:09:57,527 --> 00:10:00,666 Your demeanor wants to remain elegant and classy. 254 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,749 - Right. - Mm. Got it. 255 00:10:07,658 --> 00:10:08,885 What are you doing? 256 00:10:09,185 --> 00:10:10,902 I'm grabbing your ding-dong. 257 00:10:10,913 --> 00:10:12,238 No! 258 00:10:12,249 --> 00:10:14,454 No, yeah. That's, uh... 259 00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:16,344 And now for the final step, 260 00:10:16,355 --> 00:10:19,160 the most profound move of the entire system. 261 00:10:20,893 --> 00:10:22,296 D. 262 00:10:23,981 --> 00:10:25,517 "Do you want a tissue?" 263 00:10:25,795 --> 00:10:26,799 - Huh? - Huh? 264 00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:29,558 You see, with this one simple but profound question, 265 00:10:29,569 --> 00:10:31,673 you instantly transport this man back to a time 266 00:10:31,684 --> 00:10:33,816 when he was a tiny, snot-nosed little bitch 267 00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:35,888 who depended on the most important person in his life 268 00:10:35,899 --> 00:10:37,307 for absolutely everything. 269 00:10:37,318 --> 00:10:39,256 The person who inflated his ego, 270 00:10:39,453 --> 00:10:41,242 who made him feel powerful, 271 00:10:41,253 --> 00:10:42,956 but also powerless. 272 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:45,005 The person whose validation 273 00:10:45,016 --> 00:10:48,089 he's been seeking his entire life. 274 00:10:48,551 --> 00:10:49,658 Guys, 275 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,152 the way to make a man fall in love with you 276 00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:54,500 is to make him feel 277 00:10:54,717 --> 00:10:57,128 like you are... 278 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,577 his mommy. 279 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,464 Well, it's getting late. 280 00:11:02,058 --> 00:11:04,748 Yeah. Yeah, we should probably call it. 281 00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:07,532 I have, uh, one thing that I'd like to ask you. 282 00:11:07,543 --> 00:11:10,382 Um... do you need a tissue? 283 00:11:10,955 --> 00:11:12,879 Do you need a tissue? 284 00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:14,266 - What? - What? 285 00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:16,507 - You need a tissue. - You need a tissue. 286 00:11:16,874 --> 00:11:19,111 Oh. Oh, really? Ah... 287 00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:21,326 Ah, just... That's-that's embarrassing. 288 00:11:21,337 --> 00:11:22,929 Hang on, all right, stop it. 289 00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,544 There we go. Come here. 290 00:11:25,109 --> 00:11:26,783 There we go. 291 00:11:27,012 --> 00:11:30,617 Now my little man is all ready for his day. 292 00:11:30,938 --> 00:11:34,133 Before, they wanted nothing more than this date to be over. 293 00:11:34,144 --> 00:11:36,485 But now they can't help but ask... 294 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,832 Hey, um, any chance... 295 00:11:39,843 --> 00:11:41,078 Would you want to... 296 00:11:41,089 --> 00:11:42,124 do this again... 297 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,372 sometime? 298 00:11:43,383 --> 00:11:44,519 Mm. 299 00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:46,730 - It worked. - And there you have it. 300 00:11:46,741 --> 00:11:48,711 That, my friends, is... 301 00:11:48,898 --> 00:11:50,835 the SINNED system. 302 00:11:50,846 --> 00:11:52,561 - Oh! - Whoa! 303 00:11:52,572 --> 00:11:54,008 - Oh, ho! - Amazing. 304 00:11:54,019 --> 00:11:56,205 - Crazy creepy, though, with all the mom stuff... - Oh, yeah, very creepy. 305 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,145 and the name's a little heavy-handed. 306 00:11:58,156 --> 00:11:59,582 Yeah, took a-took a lot to get there. 307 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,700 It's not as clean as the DENNIS system. 308 00:12:01,711 --> 00:12:03,381 Well, but listen, the DENNIS system... 309 00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:04,689 that's a system for getting a woman. 310 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:06,169 This is a system for getting a man, 311 00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,776 and that's why SINNED is actually... 312 00:12:09,586 --> 00:12:11,157 DENNIS backwards. 313 00:12:11,168 --> 00:12:14,319 Oh, my God! 314 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:16,391 - That's amazing. - How-how did that line up like that? 315 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,120 - Yeah, like, what are the odds, though? - Oh, wow. 316 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,184 What do you... The odds of what? 317 00:12:20,195 --> 00:12:22,242 What are the odds that the steps to the system 318 00:12:22,253 --> 00:12:24,090 would be DENNIS backwards 319 00:12:24,101 --> 00:12:25,781 and that they would spell out the word "sinned?" 320 00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:28,993 High! High. 'Cause I made it up. 321 00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:32,447 - Oh! Yeah, he did it on purpose. - Oh, my... He made it up. 322 00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:39,372 - Hey-o! - Hey-o! 323 00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,669 Hey, hey, hey! 324 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,753 What's up, guy... You know what, I got to say, 325 00:12:42,764 --> 00:12:45,100 I am, I'm still, like, buzzing from last night. 326 00:12:45,111 --> 00:12:46,890 - Got a little hairy there for a second, didn't it? - Yeah. Yeah. 327 00:12:46,901 --> 00:12:47,973 Yeah, but we pulled it off. 328 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,096 - We sure did! - We really did. 329 00:12:49,107 --> 00:12:50,457 - We really did. - Success. 330 00:12:50,468 --> 00:12:52,270 All right, so talk to me, when are those second dates? 331 00:12:52,281 --> 00:12:54,141 Ooh, yeah, no, that's not happening. 332 00:12:54,368 --> 00:12:55,814 What do you mean, that's not happening? 333 00:12:55,825 --> 00:12:57,993 Well, I got home last night, and, I, uh, found myself 334 00:12:58,004 --> 00:13:00,611 real horny, so I popped a couple of Mommy's magic beans 335 00:13:00,622 --> 00:13:02,681 and headed over to Kyle's house. 336 00:13:02,692 --> 00:13:04,403 Roofies. I roofied myself. 337 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:07,062 Yeah, not 100% sure if we plowed or not, 338 00:13:07,073 --> 00:13:09,144 but I do know I got this. 339 00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,002 You stole his phone. 340 00:13:11,013 --> 00:13:12,667 - Yeah, well, I'll be honest... - Aw... 341 00:13:12,678 --> 00:13:14,649 the details are a bit hazy, still, 342 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,024 but I do know I stole somebody's phone. 343 00:13:17,035 --> 00:13:18,708 - And you? - Oh, I'm not doing it either. 344 00:13:18,719 --> 00:13:20,856 - Yeah! - Okay, but I have a good reason, Dennis. 345 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:23,521 I have a really good reason, 'cause I'm not a-a rapist 346 00:13:23,532 --> 00:13:26,208 and a thief like Dee is. I'm-I'm just a boy in love. 347 00:13:26,219 --> 00:13:27,458 I'm just a boy in love with Johnny, 348 00:13:27,469 --> 00:13:29,922 and I realized that I-I have to be with him. 349 00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:32,002 Well, no, see, that's-that's the thing... 350 00:13:32,013 --> 00:13:34,759 Johnny doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. 351 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,741 - You don't know him. - No, no, no. 352 00:13:36,794 --> 00:13:37,946 You don't know him. 353 00:13:37,957 --> 00:13:40,986 - I know him better than you. - Do you? Because I am him. 354 00:13:42,131 --> 00:13:43,133 What? 355 00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:45,755 I invented Johnny as a means of getting you out of the apartment 356 00:13:45,766 --> 00:13:47,110 when you were irritating me. 357 00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:48,230 I don't understand. 358 00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:50,023 Okay, like, when "Johnny" sent you out 359 00:13:50,034 --> 00:13:51,474 to go get those soft-shell crabs, 360 00:13:51,485 --> 00:13:52,651 - you remember that? Yeah. - Yeah. 361 00:13:52,662 --> 00:13:54,144 And he was supposed to meet you, but he didn't. 362 00:13:54,154 --> 00:13:55,603 - No. - He ghosted you, right? 363 00:13:55,614 --> 00:13:58,426 And so, you came sauntering back in the house and all depressed, 364 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,164 and I was like, "Well, I tell you what, buddy, 365 00:14:00,175 --> 00:14:03,075 I'll eat the soft-shell crabs. They are my favorite." 366 00:14:03,086 --> 00:14:04,789 And I said, "Oh, my God, what a coincidence 367 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,218 because they're-they're Johnny's favorite, too." 368 00:14:07,229 --> 00:14:09,489 - Yeah, because I am Johnny. - Then who's Dennis? 369 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,087 - What do you mean? - Well, if you're Johnny, then who... who's you? 370 00:14:12,098 --> 00:14:14,035 I'm Dennis! I've always been Dennis. 371 00:14:14,046 --> 00:14:16,353 L-L-Let me... This is gonna make it all clear. This is my phone... 372 00:14:16,364 --> 00:14:18,053 - Don't want to get into this... - ... and when I push a certain button... 373 00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:19,891 Wait, hold on. H-Hold on a second. 374 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,862 - What, what? - Johnny's buzzing me. I got... Look. 375 00:14:21,873 --> 00:14:24,315 - No, I pushed the button. - I haven't heard from him in a while, 376 00:14:24,326 --> 00:14:26,103 and I'm going to the motel. I got to meet him, Mac. 377 00:14:26,114 --> 00:14:28,043 - I'm sorry. - It's not Johnny. I pushed the button on my phone... 378 00:14:28,054 --> 00:14:29,936 I can't engage with you on this right now. 379 00:14:29,947 --> 00:14:33,355 - I got to-I got to go see Johnny. - Dennis! Dennis. I need your help, man. 380 00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:34,525 - I need your help, big-time. - No, no! 381 00:14:34,536 --> 00:14:35,830 I am done helping people. 382 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,653 Dude, we're so close, man. We're in the finals. 383 00:14:37,664 --> 00:14:39,390 - Yeah? I don't care. - And there's no way 384 00:14:39,401 --> 00:14:41,128 I'm gonna be able to sneak a restaurant buzzer in now. 385 00:14:41,139 --> 00:14:42,492 Okay, you know what? You're not gonna stop talking. 386 00:14:42,503 --> 00:14:43,696 - So, I-I'm just... - Yes... No, I'm not, because, 387 00:14:43,707 --> 00:14:45,251 - Dennis, I need your help. Look, I've - I don't care. 388 00:14:45,262 --> 00:14:47,440 been controlling Frank using the restaurant buzzer, okay? 389 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,574 - Wait a-wait a... whoa, what... - And it's the perfect plan. 390 00:14:49,585 --> 00:14:51,221 Hold on a second. 391 00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:54,725 Sorry, did you just say you've been... 392 00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:58,614 controlling Frank like a pawn in a game? 393 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,933 Like a puppet? 394 00:15:00,944 --> 00:15:03,127 Uh, I didn't say any of those words, but yeah. 395 00:15:03,138 --> 00:15:05,441 I've been-I've been controlling Frank, uh, in chess, yes. 396 00:15:05,452 --> 00:15:06,618 Very interesting. 397 00:15:06,629 --> 00:15:09,702 And Frank's been aware of the puppetry the entire time? 398 00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:12,128 Yeah, of course. He's in on it. But dude, it's over, right? 399 00:15:12,139 --> 00:15:13,382 Unless you know a way I can sneak 400 00:15:13,393 --> 00:15:15,865 something into this tournament that vibrates. 401 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,923 I think I may have a way, but, uh... 402 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:22,872 Frank's not gonna like it. 403 00:15:24,136 --> 00:15:25,448 - Dee. - Mm. 404 00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:27,263 Got any more of those magic beans? 405 00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:28,577 Yeah. 406 00:15:28,638 --> 00:15:31,151 'Cause we're gonna need to turn the lights out. 407 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,852 - Frank! Frank, get up! - Wow, what... 408 00:15:36,863 --> 00:15:39,857 - Wake up! Wake up, man! We're late! - Okay. What? 409 00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:41,692 We're gonna miss it, dude. 410 00:15:41,703 --> 00:15:43,631 Move. No, out of the way. 411 00:15:43,956 --> 00:15:45,786 Jesus, Frank. Cutting it pretty close there, pal. 412 00:15:45,797 --> 00:15:47,182 Ah, feel like I got to take a shit. 413 00:15:47,193 --> 00:15:48,895 - What? You got to sh... Don't shit, don't shit. - No, no, no. 414 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,688 - There's no time for that. - I'm not ready for this. 415 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:53,856 No, listen to me, listen to me. You are ready. 416 00:15:54,289 --> 00:15:57,834 Everything you need is already inside you. 417 00:15:57,845 --> 00:16:00,251 Move. No, out of the way. 418 00:16:07,825 --> 00:16:10,645 The excitement here is palpable. 419 00:16:10,656 --> 00:16:13,110 At last, the moment we've all been waiting for, 420 00:16:13,121 --> 00:16:15,666 Mr. Reynolds is about to make his first move. 421 00:16:15,677 --> 00:16:17,886 You got this, Frank! 422 00:16:17,897 --> 00:16:19,500 You got this, man! 423 00:16:22,079 --> 00:16:24,230 I don't know what I'm doing. 424 00:16:24,241 --> 00:16:26,447 Frank, trust your gut. 425 00:16:31,296 --> 00:16:33,196 Ooh. 426 00:16:33,888 --> 00:16:35,559 Oh. 427 00:16:40,619 --> 00:16:42,955 He seems a little uncomfortable, Susan. 428 00:16:42,966 --> 00:16:44,970 Just think about the incredible amount 429 00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:46,850 of pressure he's feeling right now. 430 00:16:46,861 --> 00:16:48,899 Oh... 431 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,070 Ho, ho. 432 00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:56,667 Ho, ho! 433 00:16:56,678 --> 00:16:59,218 Yes. Yes. 434 00:16:59,245 --> 00:17:01,850 Oh. 435 00:17:01,861 --> 00:17:03,970 - Oh, God, no. - Mr. Reynolds seems to be going through 436 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:07,497 a range of emotions while contemplating his first move. 437 00:17:07,508 --> 00:17:09,279 You don't have to do this. 438 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:10,856 You don't have to do it. 439 00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:12,967 S-Should I go here? 440 00:17:12,978 --> 00:17:15,533 Oh... 441 00:17:15,544 --> 00:17:17,614 Uh... There? 442 00:17:21,363 --> 00:17:22,999 Oh! 443 00:17:24,495 --> 00:17:26,022 Take your time, take your time. 444 00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:29,874 Take your time. Take your time. 445 00:17:40,341 --> 00:17:42,412 You don't have to do this! 446 00:17:44,116 --> 00:17:46,242 Should I go there? Aah! 447 00:17:52,826 --> 00:17:54,088 Hey, Dennis. 448 00:17:54,099 --> 00:17:56,082 Oh, man, I had the craziest night last night, 449 00:17:56,093 --> 00:17:58,017 'cause I think I, like, blacked out, and then, 450 00:17:58,028 --> 00:18:00,180 when I woke up, I think that Johnny broke up with me, 451 00:18:00,191 --> 00:18:02,414 - 'cause he was gone. - Mac, I can't do this right now. 452 00:18:02,425 --> 00:18:03,994 Here? 453 00:18:05,104 --> 00:18:06,602 Here? 454 00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,584 Don't lose your shit, man. Don't lose your shit. 455 00:18:08,595 --> 00:18:10,677 A language warning for anybody watching at home. 456 00:18:10,688 --> 00:18:13,075 Ho! Aah, aah, aah! Oh! 457 00:18:13,086 --> 00:18:14,822 Nice. 458 00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:17,918 I am Johnny! I don't know how else to tell you! 459 00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:20,425 Look, I have the texts. I will show you the texts. 460 00:18:20,436 --> 00:18:24,110 Look, these are the texts that I sent to you from my phone. 461 00:18:24,121 --> 00:18:27,060 Oh, my God. You have Johnny's phone. 462 00:18:27,451 --> 00:18:28,491 - This is my... - Give it to me. 463 00:18:28,502 --> 00:18:30,329 - Give me Johnny's phone. - Goddamn it! - Whoa, whoa. 464 00:18:35,231 --> 00:18:37,769 You motherfucker! 465 00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:49,165 Oh, God. 466 00:18:49,176 --> 00:18:52,014 It won't... it won't go down. 467 00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:53,738 What have you done? 468 00:18:53,749 --> 00:18:56,510 Take my king. Take my king. 469 00:18:56,521 --> 00:18:58,658 Take him. Take it. Take it. 470 00:19:00,495 --> 00:19:01,803 Oh... 471 00:19:11,069 --> 00:19:12,795 Kd2! Kd2! 472 00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:16,061 That is checkmate. What a brilliant endgame by Reynolds. 473 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,744 - He won? - He won! 474 00:19:18,755 --> 00:19:20,859 Frank won? 475 00:19:23,968 --> 00:19:25,568 Get it out! Get it out! 476 00:19:25,579 --> 00:19:27,740 - God. Take it out, take it out. - You did it, Frank! 477 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:29,502 - Frank, you did it! You beat the Russian! - Take it out. Take it out. 478 00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:31,900 - You beat the Russian! - Stop it, stop. 479 00:19:31,911 --> 00:19:34,143 Stop this, Charl... It's gonna split me in half, Charlie. 480 00:19:34,154 --> 00:19:35,991 He won! He won! 481 00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:38,574 - USA! USA! - Kill the Wi-Fi! Kill the Wi-Fi! 482 00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:41,044 - USA! USA! - Kill it. Kill the Wi-Fi! 483 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:42,491 Kill the Wi-Fi! 484 00:19:42,502 --> 00:19:44,139 Ooh. Ooh. 485 00:20:23,283 --> 00:20:28,283 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com -