1 00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,487 Everything looks good, Mr. Reynolds. 2 00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:11,489 Your blood work is all normal. 3 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,491 Excellent. As expected, right? 4 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:14,753 Does look like your blood pressure's 5 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,147 - a little high, however. Um... - Wait. 6 00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:19,541 - I have high blood pressure? - Well, yes, but 7 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,195 that's consistent with your last visit. 8 00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:22,761 We might want to put you on a low dose 9 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:25,155 - of blood pressure medication. - Oh... no. 10 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,549 Come on, Doc. Pills are for old men. 11 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,942 Well, we all get to a certain age where we need... 12 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,248 Do we? I don't. 13 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,598 So, no. I mean, you know, let-let's not... 14 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:34,860 Listen, I-I can see where you're headed with this. 15 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,558 Let's-let's not go there, okay? 16 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,951 If I wanted my blood pressure to be low, I would simply 17 00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:41,258 command my body to make it low. 18 00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:43,652 That's really not how chronic high blood pressure works. 19 00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:46,133 Okay, well, it is how it works with Dennis Reynolds, okay? 20 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,309 And if I'm chronically having high blood pressure, 21 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,875 it's because I'm chronically suffering fools 22 00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:52,095 who won't listen to me when I say that I can do things. 23 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,663 Uh, you know what, Doc? It's fi... 24 00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,100 I'm gonna take control of this, okay? 25 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,449 Don't you worry about a thing 26 00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,451 'cause Dennis Reynolds is gonna 27 00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,540 figure this all out on his own. 28 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,261 There we go. 29 00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,784 Blood pressure. 30 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:32,004 Pulse. Resting heart rate, syncs right to the phone. 31 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,615 And it records everything. 32 00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,878 This is perfect. 33 00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:38,278 Now I'll have proof I can smash in that stupid doctor's face. 34 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:46,062 - Yeah. - Oh, hey, Dennis. 35 00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:48,369 Uh, a-are we above or below sea level? 36 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,761 - What? - Tell him about the family-style cooking. 37 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,372 Yeah, so we're doing 38 00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,069 some family-style cooking now, and we got this, 39 00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,549 like, industrial-grade pressure cooker. 40 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,898 - Mm. - Pretty badass, man, 41 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,552 but, you know, we got to make sure 42 00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:58,901 we're above sea level just to be safe. 43 00:01:58,901 --> 00:01:59,945 Well, we can't be below sea level. 44 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,251 Otherwise, we'd be underwater. 45 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,818 But if it's under sea level, 46 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,559 - it may explode. - That's our big worry. 47 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:06,038 That this sucker's gonna explode. 48 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,170 You can't take a pressure cooker under the sea. 49 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,737 It's not gonna explode. 50 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,391 Yeah, that's not how pressure cookers works. 51 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:11,783 - Yeah. - You're telling me - that you can't bring 52 00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,394 a pressure cooker onto a submarine? 53 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,439 How do they feed the entire U.S. Navy? 54 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,746 - They don't pressure-cook the shit, Mac. - Navy argument. 55 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,487 - Navy argument... - Stop! Stop! All of you, okay? 56 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:20,662 They have, like, a grill or something. 57 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,142 I'm calling mental health day. 58 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,882 Mental health day? 59 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,623 What kind of cuckoo shit is that? 60 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,234 It's a new thing. It's like a sick day 61 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,061 but for your brain, and if somebody calls it, 62 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,846 you have to give it to 'em, you can't ask any questions. 63 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,109 Are you calling that? Are you taking that for real? 64 00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:36,460 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm calling mental health day, okay? 65 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,810 - And I'm gonna drive out to the beach... - Ooh. 66 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,856 and spend the entire day just staring at the ocean. 67 00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:42,466 Isn't your car in the shop? I'm sorry. 68 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:43,772 That's, uh, not a question about mental health. 69 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,034 That's a question of logistics. 70 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,731 Ah, damn it. No, you're right. 71 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,080 Hey, Dennis, I'll come drive you. 72 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,604 I could use a beach day. 73 00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:51,606 Oh, shit. You know what? This could be a good way 74 00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,085 to find out whether or not we're, uh, underwater. 75 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,696 We can take the cooker there, yeah. 76 00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:55,740 - We're gonna bring the cooker, too. - No. No. 77 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,220 Goddamn it! Do you hear that beeping? 78 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,830 That means stop. No! 79 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,224 This is my mental health day, and none of you 80 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,139 are a part of it. Goddamn it! 81 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:09,276 Hi. How can I help you today? 82 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,278 Uh, yeah, I have a reservation under the name Reynolds. 83 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,541 - Okay, let me check that out for you. - All right. 84 00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:27,119 Wow. That's a lot of typing you're having to do there. 85 00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:29,470 - You writing a novel? - Oh, I'm sorry. 86 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,950 We have no more vehicles available in that class. 87 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,778 No, no, no, I made a reservation. 88 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:35,345 Sometimes our system double-books, 89 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,391 so that's our mistake, and we are happy 90 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:40,481 - to offer you a complimentary upgrade. - Okay. 91 00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:43,658 This is the Tsuma EVS, a fully-electric car 92 00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,007 with touch screen controls, automated steering 93 00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,791 made right here in America. 94 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,967 Oh, these are awesome. I've seen these. 95 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,752 - These are really cool. - Mm-hmm. 96 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,755 Okay, yeah, no. I-I... I accept, and I'll take those keys. 97 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,279 - There are no keys. - Aha. 98 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,977 - There's an app. - Oh, right. 99 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,415 - An app. - Mm-hmm. 100 00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:03,939 Boy, I got tell you, I... I, uh, I don't love that. 101 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:07,159 I, uh, have a lot of apps on my phone already, 102 00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,423 and, uh, keys are sort of a system 103 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,294 that have existed for millennia. 104 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,470 I don't know why we're trying to fix that, but, uh, 105 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,124 yeah, no, now we got apps. 106 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,430 We got... we got apps for everything, right? 107 00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,301 Even for things we already had things for. 108 00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:22,000 I guess, uh, since my blood pressure's going up, 109 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,133 really spiking here, I'm just gonna... 110 00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,917 I'm gonna go with it. We're gonna download the app. 111 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,963 Right? What's one more app? 112 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,661 The phone is the key now. Simple. 113 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,319 This is nice. Smooth ride, it's quiet. 114 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,843 Try this automated steering thing. 115 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,327 Hey. 116 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,808 Hey! 117 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,114 That is awesome. 118 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:52,030 Time to kick this mental health day off 119 00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:54,250 with some feel-good plant tonic. 120 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:58,080 My good friend, Mr. Kratom. 121 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,952 Uh, this stuff's gnarly as hell, though. 122 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,911 I need some... some kind of a mixer. 123 00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:08,264 Uh, Tsuma, direct me to the nearest tea shop. 124 00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,874 Rerouting to Teaspoon. 125 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,876 Holy shit. 126 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:16,054 Tsuma, play... Roxette. 127 00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,839 Now playing Roxette, 128 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,884 "Listen to Your Heart." 129 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,888 That is so cool. 130 00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:28,371 I'll just sit here and enjoy the ride, I guess. 131 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:31,069 This car's nailing it. 132 00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,646 - Uh, one herbal tea, please. - Which flavor? 133 00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:45,432 Flavor. Uh, I don't know. Jasmine? 134 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,781 Uh, sorry, I meant for the boba. 135 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,435 The little spheres 136 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,567 of, uh, tapioca and sugar? 137 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:51,612 The tea comes with boba. 138 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:53,440 Well, it doesn't 139 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,571 because I see the tea right there, 140 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,268 and I see the boba over there, 141 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,227 so why don't we just not combine 'em, yeah? 142 00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:00,185 You know, so, I'll take the tea 143 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,970 without the covert diabetes delivery mechanism, please. 144 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:04,494 The system won't let me do that. 145 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,718 Okay. Yeah. No, fine. 146 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,372 One boba, please. 147 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,025 We'll call it a mental health day treat. 148 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,201 Self-care, right? Isn't that what people call it 149 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,160 whenever they need an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want? 150 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,162 - I don't know. - Yeah, I know. Of course you don't. 151 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,382 Of course you don't. One chewy sugar tea, please. 152 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,123 All right. Uh, you can scan the code. 153 00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:28,344 Uh, why? 154 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:29,737 Because the code takes you to the app. 155 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,739 That's two apps today, yeah. 156 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:33,654 Got apps for everything, you know? 157 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,307 Even though I'm already talking to the person 158 00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,787 that, uh, could just take my order right here, 159 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:39,311 but I got to download an app, right? 160 00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:40,661 How about this? 161 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,141 I have cash, you have tea. 162 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,534 Why don't we just streamline things? 163 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,449 We don't take cash, though. 164 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,451 Yeah. How about cards? Take cards? 165 00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,671 - Uh, yes. - Oh, great. 166 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,455 But there is a ten-dollar minimum. 167 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,418 There's no minimum on the app, though. 168 00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:03,814 Sorry. It's, uh... 169 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:05,468 It's not your fault. 170 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,817 You know, you didn't create the system. 171 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,515 The system is just... It is what it is, 172 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,255 and, yeah, we're both victims here, so... 173 00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:11,169 What? 174 00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:14,434 Uh, nothing. 175 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,523 Two boba teas, please. 176 00:07:57,085 --> 00:08:00,305 Ugh! Oh. 177 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,090 That is rough. 178 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,484 Oh. 179 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,181 Ugh! Aah! 180 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:09,271 It's so sweet. 181 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:11,186 Good, though. It's good. 182 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,841 What do you mean, "Key not found"? 183 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,407 Key not found? Th-There is no key. 184 00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:17,235 The key is my... 185 00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:19,673 phone. 186 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,033 Where's my phone? Where's my phone? 187 00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:25,330 Goddamn it, where's my phone? 188 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:32,163 Ah, shit. Ugh! Yes. What? 189 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:33,904 - Hey, Dennis. Hey, man. - Hey. - Hey. 190 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,340 Hey, uh, real quick. You know that French dip 191 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,255 of yours in the fridge. Can we eat that? 192 00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:39,823 No, that French dip has been in the fridge for a month, dude. 193 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,564 Do not eat it and do not call me! 194 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,348 - We already ate it. - Yeah, we ate it. 195 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:45,263 - It's been eaten. - I told 'em not to eat it. 196 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,091 Dee tried to tell us not to eat it, but look, anyway, 197 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,267 we're just calling now so you don't get mad at us later. 198 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:50,638 - All right? - Yeah, we're hoping that you get mad out there 199 00:08:50,638 --> 00:08:52,793 and then you come back and you're happy. 200 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,229 All right? eah, we're hoping Do not expect that sandwich 201 00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,926 when you get back, 'cause it's gone, okay? 202 00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:58,146 But don't worry about it. It has been pressure-cooked. 203 00:08:58,146 --> 00:08:59,930 - Yeah, we pressure-cooked the shit out of it. - What do you mean? 204 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,584 No, you cannot pressure-cook a French dip. 205 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,151 Oh, yeah, you can, and I guarantee that the U.S. Navy 206 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,674 - is down on teir submarine... - Don't. Don't talk! 207 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,284 - Don't talk. Don't. Stop. - ... with their pressure cooker. 208 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,444 No more phone calls! No more! 209 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,164 Fantastic. 210 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,125 Hello, Officer. 211 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:22,692 License and registration. 212 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,912 - Uh, well, this is a rental, actually. - Hmm. 213 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,609 Turn the car off. 214 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,916 Yeah. 215 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:32,833 I, uh... I can't because I don't have a key. 216 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:35,226 Uh, well, technically there is no key. 217 00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,489 My phone is the key, and... 218 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,666 I don't have a phone. 219 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,233 Step out of the car, sir. 220 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,584 Uh, you know, I'd really rather not 221 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,716 because I'm afraid if I get out, then, um, 222 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,544 I'm not gonna be able to start the car again. 223 00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,633 Sir, out of the car, please. 224 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,942 Right. You don't care. 225 00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:57,640 All right, stepping out. 226 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:11,001 Well, who could've predicted that? 227 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,660 Hi. Good afternoon. Fine, and you? Thanks for asking. 228 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,357 Listen, my name is Dennis Reynolds, 229 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,490 and I'm on a family plan under the name Frank Reynolds, 230 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,100 and I need a new phone, please. 231 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,754 Okay, I can help you with that here. 232 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,538 Great. 233 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,366 Frank Reynolds, mm-hmm. 234 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,677 - My name's not that long. - So, 235 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,766 looks like I can get you a replacement phone here. 236 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,681 Can have it to you by end of day tomorrow. 237 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:41,162 Uh, no, that's-that's not gonna work. I need it today. 238 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,817 Unfortunately, the phones are at our warehouse, so... 239 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:47,211 Tell me about those, 240 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,517 'cause those look like phones. 241 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,953 Those aren't the phones. 242 00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,215 - Those aren't the phones? - No. 243 00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:53,261 Hey, those aren't the phones, guys, so, 244 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,958 you know, just so you know. Those are just boxes 245 00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,134 filled with phones that aren't the phones. 246 00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,223 - Phones for new customers. - Oh, for new customer, right. 247 00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,399 Not for old customers. Not for the paying customers, 248 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:02,923 the people who have been paying for months and months, 249 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,315 for years and years and years and years. 250 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,926 Let's punish those people and give the phones 251 00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,579 that are right there to the new customers. 252 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,059 It's just how the system works. 253 00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,713 Yeah, well, mm, that system. 254 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,280 I've been running up against it all day. 255 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,196 Well, I'll tell you what, pal. I am not mad at you, okay? 256 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,850 I am mad at the system. 257 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,330 Okay, but unfortunately the system isn't here 258 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:22,464 for me to direct my frustrations at it, s... 259 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,950 Good. Let's try something else. 260 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,692 Um, what if we add a new line 261 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,084 to the Frank Reynolds family plan? 262 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,825 Would that make me a new customer? 263 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,045 Yeah, I can do that. I just need your PIN. 264 00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,568 Right, 'cause the PIN's the key to the phone, 265 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:40,830 and the phone's the key to the car, 266 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,832 and everything's been streamlined. 267 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:45,617 Excuse me, please. I need to make a call on my watch. 268 00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,489 - Are you sure this is gonna work? - Charlie, 269 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,056 diamonds are made under pressure. 270 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,753 This is a pressure cooker. 271 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,668 We're going to cook diamonds. It's very linear. 272 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,496 So genius. 273 00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:55,976 I just can't believe no one's ever thought of this before. 274 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:57,064 - We're gonna be rich, man. - Oh, I know. 275 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,761 It's Dennis. 276 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,371 Oh, oh, oh, oh, do not answer it. 277 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,896 - It's a mental health day test. - A test. Mm. 278 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,506 - Test? - Mm-hmm. 279 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,551 In my day, if you wanted to get out of work, you... 280 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,292 you hit yourself with a hammer 281 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:10,991 or you got gnawed by a shark or something simple. 282 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,775 No, not gonna pick up now. 283 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,908 No, wh-wh-why would he? Unreal. 284 00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:18,999 Uh, let's try... 69-69. 285 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,914 Okay. 286 00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:23,351 - Yeah, that's it. - That worked? 287 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,526 You're all set. 288 00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:26,136 - Seriously? - That's it. 289 00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:27,659 - This is the phone? - That's the phone. 290 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,922 I'm gonna open the box, I'm gonna turn it on, 291 00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,184 - the phone's going to work? - Yup. 292 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,620 It's gonna work. It's your phone. 293 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,495 Why won't you talk to each other? 294 00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:41,282 Talk! Talk! Talk! Talk! 295 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,675 Talk! Ta... 296 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,677 Dennis Reynolds. 297 00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:48,463 D, E, "N" as in Nancy... 298 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,334 License plate... "B" as in boy, 299 00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:53,163 SX355. 300 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,562 I'm sorry. I didn't get that. 301 00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,346 Yeah, no, I know you didn't get it 'cause I didn't say it. 302 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:03,608 I didn't say what it was. 303 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,262 Did you say "January"? 304 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:06,829 No, I didn't say "January." I didn't say anything. 305 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,657 I didn't give a month, I didn't give a day. 306 00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:10,790 Representative. No, representative. 307 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,921 Human! Human! 308 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,444 Oh. 309 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,274 D, 310 00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:20,234 E, "N" as in "neighbor," 311 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,192 I, S. 312 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,759 Dennis Reynolds. 313 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,630 "D" as in "Deliver me from this!" 314 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:26,980 "E" as in "Engage with human." 315 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:34,074 "N" as in "nightmare"! "I" as in "Is this real?" 316 00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,511 "S" as in "Somebody help me!" 317 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,730 There has to be a way to open this goddamn car! 318 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,820 How do I open the car? 319 00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:45,215 Dennis Reynolds. 320 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,783 D, E, 321 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:51,221 "N" as in "never-ending." 322 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,962 "N" as in... Thank you for calling 323 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,659 - Tsuma Customer Care. - Never gonna help me. 324 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:55,573 Your call is very important to us. 325 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,619 Please enter your 17-digit VIN. 326 00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:02,015 Please say your name. 327 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,844 - Dennis Reynolds. - Got it. Let me transfer you. 328 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,196 Thank you for calling Tsuma Customer Care. 329 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:12,068 My name is Daisy. May I please have your name and 17-digit VIN? 330 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,504 No. No, no, no, no. No. 331 00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:16,159 I just ent... I ju... 332 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,683 I just entered all that information into the system. 333 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,424 I'm sorry, sir. 334 00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,209 - I get it, but I do... - That-That's okay. No, no. 335 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:24,167 That's okay. Daisy, was it? 336 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,257 Listen, don't be sorry, okay? I'm not mad at you. 337 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,912 I'm a little upset, but I'm upset at the situation, okay? 338 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,696 And-and the situation is this, Daisy. 339 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,829 If you'll just give me a second and indulge me, okay? 340 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:37,877 My new phone won't talk to my car. 341 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,053 Okay, so I called the car rental company, 342 00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,011 and they put me on with a supervisor 343 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,534 who told me to call Tsuma Roadside, 344 00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:44,840 so I called Tsuma Roadside. 345 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,276 Spoke to someone over there 346 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,843 who put me on with another supervisor 347 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,236 who told me to call the service center. 348 00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:50,846 So I called the service center, spoke to about... 349 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,500 I don't know... two, three morons over there 350 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,067 who had no answers for me whatsoever. 351 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,330 They put me on with one of their supervisors, 352 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,941 and that person told me to call the car rental company again. 353 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,508 So I called the car rental company, 354 00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:03,076 then roadside, service center, rental company, 355 00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,860 roadside, service center, rental company, 356 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,514 roadside, service center, and around and around 357 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,037 and around like that for hours and hours, 358 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,734 until finally someone had the presence of mind 359 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,780 to let me know there's a goddamn customer care line. 360 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,347 Okay, so I called the customer care line 361 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,523 and now I find myself talking to you, Daisy, 362 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,394 my little wildflower. 363 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:20,006 And you ask me to enter in my VIN 364 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,790 and my date of birth again, 365 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,619 information which I already entered into your system. 366 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,882 Okay, now, now, listen, Daisy, Daisy, 367 00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:29,319 bear with me here, okay? 368 00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,669 I know you didn't create the system, okay? 369 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,845 So you are not to blame. 370 00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:36,544 But somebody did create the system, 371 00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,676 and I would very much like to blame that person. 372 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:41,549 So... who is that? 373 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,507 Sir, I'm sorry. Who is...? 374 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,248 Who is the person who created your customer service system 375 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,858 in such a way 376 00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,469 that the information entered 377 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,166 into the computer isn't passed on 378 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,299 to the human representative? 379 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,996 Sir, I don't know. I can send you to one of my supervisors. 380 00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,519 No, no, no, no, no. No, Dai... no. 381 00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:56,999 No, don't send me to a supervisor, Daisy. 382 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,219 Daisy, Daisy... 383 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,960 it's just you and me. 384 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,049 Just you and me, Daisy, fighting the good fight 385 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,007 against a broken system engineered 386 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,966 to drive us both so crazy 387 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,271 that we have to take days off 388 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:11,361 for our mental health! 389 00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:14,974 Daisy? 390 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,714 Yes? 391 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,108 The Tsuma. It's made in America, right? 392 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,110 Yes, it is. 393 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,503 Where? 394 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,385 All right, yes, okay. Yup. 395 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:38,040 Oh, let me call you back. 396 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,479 Hello. How are you? 397 00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:44,612 I've been better. 398 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,616 I've been worse. 399 00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:50,618 Is the CEO in? 400 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,402 I'm sorry. Uh, who are you? 401 00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:55,057 Dennis Reynolds. 402 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:58,756 D, E, "N" as in "Nancy," N, I, S. 403 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,411 Tsuma customer for, uh, 404 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:04,762 oh, six hours and 17 minutes. 405 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,330 I have some helpful feedback 406 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,289 that I would very much like to pass on to your boss. 407 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,117 Oh. 408 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,945 Can I get you a water or something? 409 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:16,470 Listen, I have traveled 410 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,081 through blistering sun and pouring rain to get here, 411 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,127 so, if you don't mind, I'll just wait. 412 00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:24,086 Uh, he is not in the office 413 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,870 this week, 414 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,482 but customer feedback is very important to him, 415 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:31,920 so, if you'd like to leave him a message, 416 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,183 I'll make sure he gets it. 417 00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,102 If I leave you a message, 418 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,713 can you assure me 419 00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:45,412 that you will get this to him? 420 00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:47,718 Absolutely. I'll make sure he gets it 421 00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,807 when he gets back from the beach house. 422 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,728 - The beach, huh? - Mm-hmm. 423 00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,556 Yeah. 424 00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,733 I was supposed to go to the beach today. 425 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,779 - That's nice. - Yeah. 426 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,737 How about that, huh? 427 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,830 Which beach? 428 00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:25,278 Brandon, dinner's ready! 429 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:39,596 Hi. 430 00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:06,700 This is a medical marvel. 431 00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:09,006 You lowered your blood pressure 432 00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:12,358 by 20 points in less than a minute, but how? 433 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:15,404 Well, just let off a little steam, all naturally. 434 00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:17,406 Told you, Dr. Tsuma. 435 00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:18,712 Hmm. 436 00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:21,454 Oh. Excuse me. 437 00:21:21,454 --> 00:21:23,325 Hello? 438 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,979 Oh, hey, Dennis. 439 00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:27,068 Uh, are-are we above or below sea level? 440 00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:28,896 I'll be right in.