1 00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:16,960 Just have a seat right there. Would you like a drink or... 2 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,330 - No. - No? 3 00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,200 How about a fresh glass of water? 4 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,400 I have to just go back and gather myself with my buddies 5 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,340 - before we start this. Okay? - Okay. 6 00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:27,940 - Right. Good. - But we are on the clock. 7 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,980 Oh, yeah. And for the record, you know, 8 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:32,910 you might want to jot down how well you're being treated 9 00:00:32,910 --> 00:00:35,410 at this professional establishment. 10 00:00:35,980 --> 00:00:37,950 - Frank, get over here. - Is she from the newspaper? 11 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,820 We are in big trouble. 12 00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:42,350 We gotta come up with a statement for this reporter. 13 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,760 - She's gonna butcher us. - Yeah, this is bad. 14 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,060 Why don't we play dumb? Why do we have to come up with a statement? 15 00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:50,260 Because they found 500 gallons of baby oil dumped in the Schuylkill River. 16 00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:52,960 Wait. Dee might be right, 'cause they can't actually prove that that was us. 17 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,230 Well, the 200 Paddy's pub T-shirts floating around in it 18 00:00:55,230 --> 00:00:57,270 - aren't exactly helping our case, pal. - Yeah, not helping. 19 00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:59,270 This is a good thing. This could be our Paddy's-gate. 20 00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:01,440 - Okay, there you go. - No, but gates aren't a good thing. 21 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,910 I mean, Pizzagate, Watergate. 22 00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:04,340 - Nipplegate. Nipplegate. - Nipplegate. 23 00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:05,940 Janet Jackson's career was never the same. 24 00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:07,980 You're right, what happened... 25 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:10,080 - Some things you gotta keep covered up. - Based off that. Yeah. 26 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,180 - We've gotta come up with a statement. - Guys, guys, guys, guys! 27 00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:14,290 We can handle this. 28 00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:15,920 I mean this is why we went to that corporate retreat in Idaho. 29 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,160 - Hmm. - Right, right. 30 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,930 We didn't go to the retreat so much as watched clips of it on YouTube, 31 00:01:19,930 --> 00:01:22,190 but, you know, you're right, Mac. Normally a situation like this 32 00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:24,930 would have me clawing all your faces off. 33 00:01:24,930 --> 00:01:27,770 But I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna utilize my words. 34 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:31,040 I do see your hand is still in a bit of a claw. 35 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,400 Yeah, I was ready to pounce. 36 00:01:32,410 --> 00:01:34,140 I had it hidden behind my head. I was ready... 37 00:01:34,140 --> 00:01:36,310 - Yeah, I hid it behind my leg. - I had a feeling. 38 00:01:36,310 --> 00:01:39,180 - Should we un... - No, let's all unclaw our hands. 39 00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,250 - Right? Because that was the old way. - Yeah, yeah. 40 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:42,980 This is the new way, right? 41 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:44,350 We've got the tools from the corporate retreat. 42 00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:46,350 - We've got the vocabulary. - Yeah. 43 00:01:46,350 --> 00:01:48,190 We've got these awesome fleece vests inspired by the retreat. 44 00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:50,260 - Oh, my God, I love the fleece. - God, I love these vests. 45 00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:52,290 You can let it all go under here. 46 00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:54,360 I appreciate you springing for that, Frank. Thank you very much. 47 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,730 So, listen, we can handle this unpleasantry 48 00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:59,360 with the grace and elegance of any major corporation 49 00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:04,770 by utilizing a little thought leadership and simply talking this thing out. 50 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,400 First and foremost, the business must be protected at all times. 51 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,430 - Yeah. - Yes. 52 00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:36,770 The business is infinitely more important than any individual. 53 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:41,170 Yes, we are, of course, a family, but human emotion notwithstanding, 54 00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:44,140 I would be remiss not to mention that we are a business first, 55 00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:47,310 and as a business, we must behave as such. 56 00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:51,820 So I would like to posit, respectfully, of course, that we put forth an offering. 57 00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:54,050 - Yes, a lamb if you will. - No, I would say, uh, 58 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,990 that lamb right now could be tender and delicious, 59 00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:59,960 but we have kind of bigger issues that we're dealing with 60 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,930 that we need to discuss, and maybe, you know, 61 00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:04,100 eating lamb is not the best thing. 62 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,130 - Momentarily speaking. - Thank you for that, Charlie, 63 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:08,870 but of course I'm speaking of a sacrificial lamb. 64 00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:10,970 - Ah! - Maybe we need to 65 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:12,870 walk through the series of events 66 00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:15,140 of the incident to figure out who the fall guy should be, 67 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:19,910 and I would like to respectfully point out that the phrase is fall "guy." 68 00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:22,910 Thank you for pointing out that gender inequity, Dee. 69 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,320 And, henceforth, let's refer to that position 70 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,350 - as "fall person." - Mmm. 71 00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:30,720 Or we could circle back to, uh, animal-related, uh, conversations. 72 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,860 We could consider "fall fish," uh, or "scapefish" or even "fall bird," 73 00:03:34,860 --> 00:03:36,230 and then we're back to Dee. 74 00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:38,330 Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry guys, but, um, 75 00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:43,030 but my hand is so tightly clenched into a claw. 76 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,700 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Same. 77 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,870 - I'm feeling the claw again. - Same. 78 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,010 All right, so why don't we do this? Let's all take a deep breath 79 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,040 before we continue this conversation. 80 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,440 Unclaw our hands. 81 00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:00,820 I think Dee is right. 82 00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:04,190 I think we got to take this mess from the beginning to find out how we got here. 83 00:04:04,190 --> 00:04:06,120 - Uh-huh. - Find out who's really to blame. 84 00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:08,430 Now, as you recall, it all started several weeks ago... 85 00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:10,730 Whoa! 86 00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:13,130 when Frank found that jug out back. 87 00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:15,000 Yo, let me blow on that. 88 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,840 No, you make sounds when you bang on it, not blow on it. 89 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,940 - No, you blow on it. - No, no. Yeah, yeah. 90 00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:21,970 It sounds different when you put water... 91 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,010 - But it's gonna be much deeper, like... - No, no, no. He's right. 92 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:26,010 - You don't blow on it... - If you blow on it like that, it gets... 93 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:27,710 You turn it upside-down... 94 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:30,180 You don't bang on it... 95 00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:32,920 That led to a vigorous debate, which in turn led to vigorous clawing 96 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,220 until we decided to stop fighting and, you know, simply get our own jugs. 97 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:42,030 Annoyingly, however, the jugs were filled with fluid. 98 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:44,030 What are we supposed to do with all this fluid? 99 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:49,370 Uh... Yeah, can't really play them as an instrument until we... 100 00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:50,900 - Oh. - Yeah, that's a problem. 101 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,200 We could... w-wash the bar with it. 102 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:56,370 Uh, you don't wanna wash the bar with a... with a water-based liquid. 103 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,280 - Make a fire and... - Plants love that. 104 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,150 - Make a fire and put water... - Make a fire and put it out. 105 00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:01,980 What are you talking about? We're not gonna make a fire. 106 00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:03,950 - Well, if we start a fire... - Why would we start a fire? 107 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:06,720 So we... so we have a reason to use all this liquid. 108 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,260 After an hour-long argument about the best way to dispose of the fluid, 109 00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:12,820 we caved and decided the best way to make the jugs empty 110 00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:14,930 was to simply drink the water. 111 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:18,700 Now if I'm braising something, is that a way to cook something, 112 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:19,930 or is that shellacking it? 113 00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:21,730 Like, am I putting sauce on it? 114 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:23,240 The inadvertent effect of the watercooler 115 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,470 was not just hydration, but conversation. 116 00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:27,740 Is it about the sauce or the cooking technique or both? 117 00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:30,080 - It's about the crisping. - About both. 118 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,410 The water tank became a think tank for business scaffolding, 119 00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:35,110 as well as recent health initiatives and, you know, general interest. 120 00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:39,920 Well, now I've taken to using baby oil almost exclusively when I get out of the shower. 121 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,290 You know, I-I don't know if you guys know this, 122 00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:45,120 but you can actually put a tablespoon of baby oil in your coffee in the morning 123 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,190 and it resets the pH balance of your gut biome. 124 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,030 You drink it? 125 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,000 You know, if you're gonna dump stuff, the best place is the ocean. 126 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,700 I mean, you know, in a pinch, you go to a lake or a river, 127 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:59,240 but you wanna get rid of something, ocean is the only way to go. 128 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:01,470 Dennis, how do they get the oil out of the baby? 129 00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:04,810 Do they have to mash the babies up or grind them? 130 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:07,950 Is it babies that are sick and dying already, or what is the oil... 131 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,420 Don't be an idiot, Charlie. The babies are alive. 132 00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:13,050 They just wring them out like an old rag. 133 00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:15,890 The Cybertruck is by far the coolest piece of machinery 134 00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:17,720 that the space nerd has ever made. Right? 135 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,260 - Absolutely. - I love that truck. 136 00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:20,930 I'm furious that all cars don't look like that. 137 00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:22,790 Dude, totally. You know what it is? 138 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,338 It delivers on the promise of the future from our youth. 139 00:06:25,373 --> 00:06:26,730 - Yes. - Right? 140 00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:28,230 We thought all cars were going to look like that back in the day. 141 00:06:28,230 --> 00:06:30,400 Hard lines, sharp corners, DeLorean-like materials. 142 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,100 Yeah, you know, it's the transportation fitting of a Terminator. 143 00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:35,140 - Totally a Terminator. - Yeah, absolutely. 144 00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:36,740 Yeah, it's like a rhombus on wheels. 145 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,210 - Right, right. Absolutely. - That's right. 146 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,710 We were firing on all cylinders, 147 00:06:40,710 --> 00:06:43,820 but things took a most exciting turn when one particular topic was raised. 148 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,980 Gentlemen, what are your thoughts on slap fighting? 149 00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:50,290 Slap fighting? I'm not aware of this. 150 00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,190 Oh. Well, let me tell you. 151 00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:55,090 Just like the Cybertruck is the future of transportation, 152 00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,960 slap fighting is the future of dispute mitigation. 153 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,200 And, my God, was he right. We had to try our hand at it. 154 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,300 - The Egyptians, they like the cats. - Yeah. They like them. 155 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:09,210 I know, but it's a... it's a cat-based society, you know what I mean? 156 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:11,310 Yeah, but I understand that. But... 157 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,880 - The cats are a huge part of their thing. - They like the cats. 158 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,810 Everybody loved it. We swapped out the clawing for slapping. 159 00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:17,920 I mean, we were using it to-to-to settle arguments. 160 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,220 We were using it to end the day, to start the day, 161 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:22,020 to say goodbye, to say hello... 162 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,990 to celebrate, to mourn, everything, you know. 163 00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:27,330 But then Mac had a business idea. 164 00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:33,870 Gentlemen, let's discuss professional slap fighting. 165 00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:39,140 We were all slapped across the proverbial cheeks with this venture. 166 00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:41,070 Oh, shit. 167 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,040 Take your shirts off, though. 168 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,340 Whoa! 169 00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:49,010 It was his hand-face-based business venture 170 00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:51,720 that led to the off-lining of certain corporate assets 171 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,150 into various aquatic bodies. 172 00:07:54,150 --> 00:07:59,190 So, Mac is clearly the prime candidate to fall on the metaphorical sword here. Yes? 173 00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:01,390 - Yeah. Sounds good. - Sure. Well, yeah. That adds up, right? 174 00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:03,930 Mm-hmm. That does seem to be the proper mathing. Yes. 175 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:05,830 Yeah, I do... I do hear you guys on this. 176 00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,130 As long as we're outside of the earshot of this reporter, 177 00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:11,340 I'd like to add, you can stick this line of logic up your various assholes. 178 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,710 Hmm. 179 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,340 - All right, that's harsher language... - Interesting point. 180 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,080 than I thought we were allowed to use here, but... 181 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,340 Also Dennis is leaving out a core friction point. 182 00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:21,880 Things were going smoothly 183 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,720 until Dennis pointed out that the whole thing sorely lacked eroticism. 184 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,220 Slaps and profits have gone up. 185 00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,820 - That's great. - Uh-huh. 186 00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:29,690 But chick saturation has gone down. 187 00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:31,220 - That's not good. - Uh-uh. 188 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,390 The whole thing is sorely lacking eroticism. 189 00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:35,830 - The data is alarming. - Yeah. 190 00:08:35,830 --> 00:08:38,030 - Yeah! Yeah, yeah. - Well, let's fix that. 191 00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:39,970 - Go on. - Yeah, yeah. 192 00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,430 He pitched something with the eroticism of mud wrestling 193 00:08:41,430 --> 00:08:43,070 and the aggression of a Cybertruck. 194 00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,070 The world just has not delivered 195 00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:48,070 on the future that we were promised when we were growing up. 196 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:51,940 We were promised mud wrestling. We were promised wet T-shirt contests. 197 00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:54,050 We were promised women going wild. 198 00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,850 At a certain point, we stopped women from going wild. 199 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:58,280 Why did we do that? 200 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,120 - They wanna go wild. - They should go wild. 201 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,460 They want to go wild. Let's let them go wild. 202 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:07,090 They're too dry, and so they don't feel wild. 203 00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:10,100 Yeah, exactly. Guys, let's get back to our core values. 204 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:14,770 Th-There is an underserved market for one-on-one erotic sport competition 205 00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:17,400 between scantily-clad, oiled-up women. 206 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,040 He proposed pivoting away from dudes 207 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,740 and investing all of our resources more heavily into women and baby oil. 208 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,010 Whoa! 209 00:09:28,865 --> 00:09:33,120 This is why Dennis's head must roll. I compliment him on the innovation, 210 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,320 but the idea was a little chunky, if I'm being honest. 211 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,020 My personal distaste for women aside, 212 00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:39,930 I think you crapped the bed on the execution. 213 00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,130 We were over-leveraged in the baby oil department 214 00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:45,030 and subsequential environmental what-have-yous 215 00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:48,370 from the off-lining have left us in this particular situation. 216 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:52,270 Which is why I nominate Dennis. Right time, right skull. 217 00:09:52,270 --> 00:09:54,710 - I like it. I like it. - I gotta say I'm impressed. 218 00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,340 You know, you're coming at me open-kimono here, 219 00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:58,810 and I appreciate that, so kudos, you know. 220 00:09:58,810 --> 00:10:02,080 But I do think we need to helicopter up, stretch the vantage point a little bit. 221 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,150 I think we need to chew on the key protein here, 222 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:07,350 - which I believe to be Dee. - Mmm. 223 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,060 With the women slappers in the bar, we were thriving, 224 00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:14,930 but we weren't quite reaching the erotic escape velocity that I was hoping for. 225 00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:16,460 I mean... really, all it is 226 00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:18,760 is there's one lingering problem with the women. 227 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,970 - What? They're ugly. - They're ugly. 228 00:10:20,970 --> 00:10:22,830 - I didn't wanna say it, but they are ugly. - Yeah. 229 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,170 They're a bit gruff, aren't they? 230 00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:29,124 The big issue for me is you can't put baby oil on any of these women, you know. 231 00:10:29,159 --> 00:10:29,840 They'll bite you. 232 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,240 I had one almost bend my arm completely in half. 233 00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:35,750 - I tried to put baby oil on her and she... - I got pinned by her too, man. 234 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:38,920 Yeah, yeah. So you know, like, chick saturation is up. That's good. 235 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,820 - But the attractive/oil saturation... - It's way down, yeah. 236 00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:44,090 - It's way down. - Way down. Why is that? 237 00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:47,464 So, we need to find a way to lure in hotter women. 238 00:10:47,499 --> 00:10:49,464 Yeah, that's all it is. You know what I mean? 239 00:10:49,499 --> 00:10:50,830 Anybody got any ideas? 240 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:53,060 Back in the day when we were taking down all the aluminum siding, 241 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,930 what are we gonna do with all that asbestos that was left? 242 00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:58,392 - We dumped it in the Schuylkill. - Oh, you did? 243 00:10:58,427 --> 00:10:59,970 - Yeah. - Okay. 244 00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:02,970 But in order to get 'em to do it, we lured 'em in with a Cadillac. 245 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,380 Oh! 246 00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:06,180 That's what you gotta do with the women. 247 00:11:06,180 --> 00:11:08,250 - You think we get these gals a Cadillac... - Yeah! 248 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,880 and we say, you know, "You win a slap fight, you get a Cadillac"? 249 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,680 - Everybody needs money. - Wait. 250 00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:13,850 I know exactly what we should do. 251 00:11:13,850 --> 00:11:17,054 Oh! I was thinking the same thing. 252 00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:19,820 I doubt it. 253 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:26,050 Oh! 254 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,750 Look at this thing. Oh, man. Frank, baby, this is quite the prize. 255 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,420 - Yeah. - Nicely done, Frank. 256 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,390 - Yeah. - Wow. 257 00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:34,790 Look at the hard angles on this. 258 00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:37,160 - Yeah. - It's beautiful, man. 259 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,090 The Cybertruck lured in a much sexier talent pool. 260 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,130 We were really excited about the quality of slapper, 261 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:44,330 but there was one that stood out above all the others. 262 00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,070 I mean, we couldn't take our eyes off her. 263 00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:48,070 I can't wait to see the headlights on her. 264 00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:49,540 - Yeah! - Yeah. 265 00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,874 Yeah. Well, and you never will see 'em, Frank. 266 00:11:51,909 --> 00:11:53,370 Because there's only one single headlight. 267 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,480 - It's a single headlight, yeah. - Oh. 268 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,080 We couldn't give her away. We had to have her. 269 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,250 It wasn't long before we came up with a plan to retain her for ourselves. 270 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,520 We would just have to win the slap contest, you know. 271 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,150 We needed a ringer, someone to tear through these waifish models 272 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,790 and ensure the truck would remain in our portfolio. 273 00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,630 Figure something out though. 274 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,730 What are you guys doing? 275 00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:14,430 Huh? 276 00:12:27,853 --> 00:12:30,210 Oh! 277 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,090 Dee was tearing through girls 278 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,090 like a paper shredder through company records. 279 00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,490 And we knew she would, as I had explained it with a graph. 280 00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,600 The lower the self-esteem, the harder the slap. And Dee could take a hit too. 281 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,530 Right? Years of getting slapped around by Frank, right? 282 00:12:51,369 --> 00:12:53,600 - Yeah. - Those were the days. 283 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,300 - Oh, yeah. Better times. - If say so, buddy. If you say so. 284 00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:58,470 She had it all, and she delivered slap after slap. 285 00:12:58,470 --> 00:13:01,480 Sexy women, aggressive violence, futuristic trucks. 286 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,350 Everything was going according to plan. Till Dee got knocked out. 287 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,150 Dee, I thank you for your service. I love you like a sister. 288 00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:11,620 Well, I am your sister. 289 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:13,350 Well, you know, familial ties notwithstanding. 290 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,720 Uh, I think you kinda drained the kettle on that one. 291 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,160 And, hey, you know, no offense, 292 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,760 but I think you've proven yourself to be pretty good at taking a fall. 293 00:13:21,982 --> 00:13:24,433 Guys, I know things are getting hot, okay? 294 00:13:24,468 --> 00:13:26,903 But I think we're styling the wrong mannequin here. 295 00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:28,400 I would have won that competition 296 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,640 if it wasn't for our associate deviating from the business plan, 297 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,610 and that would be Charlie. 298 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,392 Oh. Uh... Wow. 299 00:13:35,427 --> 00:13:37,550 He fell back on some old bad habits. 300 00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:39,980 Fool. 301 00:13:41,246 --> 00:13:43,120 What's up? 302 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,350 - What's going on? New car? I like it. - Oh, God. 303 00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:48,290 - Okay. What is this? Why are you here? - Pretty sweet. Is that a Geo? 304 00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,220 Well, I got a business opportunity for you. 305 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,660 Oh, a business opportunity? 306 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,360 - Yeah. Check this out. - Oh, good. 307 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,800 - Yeah, you're gonna like this. - Great. I bet. 308 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,600 We're doing these oiled-up slap fights in the bar. 309 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,470 Oiled-up slap fights? 310 00:13:58,470 --> 00:13:59,630 Yeah, we're oiling girls and they're slapping each other. 311 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,470 - You're oiling girls up? - Yeah. 312 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:03,340 So I could oil you or you could oil yourself, but... 313 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,410 Did you come here to ask me if I want to get oiled by you? 314 00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:07,610 - Are you stalking me again? - Yeah. 315 00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:11,680 Stalking? Whoa. Since when did I ever stalk you? No, that's not my thing. 316 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,150 - Flirting, maybe. But... - Okay. 317 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:14,480 Hey, look, you don't have to do it, 318 00:14:14,557 --> 00:14:17,420 but I will say that the winner of the thing is gonna get a free truck, 319 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:20,320 but I suppose you like this car better, you know. 320 00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:22,660 You're giving away a truck? 321 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,130 A Cybertruck. 322 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,730 Mmm. 323 00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,530 Little did he know that she wasn't just driving that crappy car, 324 00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,100 she was living in it. 325 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:42,240 The allure of the Cybertruck 326 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,680 and a lifetime of petty misery suffered by this woman 327 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,380 rendered her unstoppable. 328 00:14:46,994 --> 00:14:49,580 Yeah. Okay. Who's next? 329 00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:54,160 Uh... Hey. I got an idea, all right? 330 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,260 W-What if you and I get a little side pot going, right? 331 00:14:57,260 --> 00:15:00,160 You and me, we... we tone down on the slaps, we call it a tie, 332 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,600 and that way we can share the Cyber... 333 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:14,210 Yeah! 334 00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:15,919 I was sucker-punched. 335 00:15:15,954 --> 00:15:16,780 - No. - No. 336 00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:18,280 - Mm-mmm. - In your dreams. 337 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,810 No. You were looking right at her. 338 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,480 She slapped the shit out of me, but I wasn't ready. 339 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:23,790 It was uncalled for and it wasn't fair. 340 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,620 To make matters worse, Frank reversed course 341 00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,360 and refused to make her whole. 342 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,090 What do you mean I don't get the truck? 343 00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:31,490 - It's all in the terms and conditions. - What? 344 00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:34,460 Look. "Cybertruck not included." Can you read? 345 00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,800 - Oh, my God! - Can you read? 346 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,730 - What? - Oh, my God. 347 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,600 - Screw you. Screw you guys so hard! - In plain writing. 348 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,070 - Oh, I'm taking this public. For this. - Don't you dare. 349 00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,110 Needless to say, she was pissed, and she promised to go public. 350 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,080 And let's face it, we didn't have permits for any of this. 351 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,540 Which led to the panic and dumping of assets 352 00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:52,480 to erase the trail of corporate culture and create plausible deniability. 353 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,550 I'm gonna call the newspaper. 354 00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:56,780 As the crow flies here, I think we could all see from a bird's-eye view 355 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,307 that had Charlie not invited the Waitress, none of this would've happened. 356 00:15:59,342 --> 00:16:00,490 So Charlie should take the fall. 357 00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:02,360 And I would say all due respect, but I don't respect you. 358 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,390 It's true, Charlie. We may have reached our inflection point. 359 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:07,360 Okay, great. Yeah, that's all good. Yeah. 360 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,760 And I-I'm hearing you guys, you know, ear-wise. 361 00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:13,830 And, um, you know, mouth-wise, uh, you're giving me various wordables, 362 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,040 uh, that are adding up to thoughts. 363 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,670 This is good. I see how you're trying to clip my wings so that I can fly. 364 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:20,910 That's not how birds work. That makes them "un-fly." 365 00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:23,380 Okay. I did not know that you were the bird expert. 366 00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:26,650 But I would like to pivot here, you know, before I fall on the sword, 367 00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:31,550 and say that I was also using my eyeballs this entire time for various observables. 368 00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:36,920 Because I realized... that Frank was, you know, 369 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:40,530 growing in hardness as the eroticism in the bar was increasing. 370 00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:43,630 And, uh, he was becoming as hard as a Cybertruck himself, 371 00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,030 you know, which you could see. 372 00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:46,700 Cheese, of course, is also on this graph. 373 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,940 - Just keep going. - Uh, moving past. 374 00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:52,770 Well, the main thing here is that I think we now have our open-sliced lamb. 375 00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:54,910 You know, open commando person. 376 00:16:54,910 --> 00:16:57,450 - What? - What are you saying? 377 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,450 I'm saying it should be Frank, man. 378 00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:01,780 Because he was throwing an orgy in the basement the entire time. 379 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,920 - What? - Yes. 380 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,650 I realized Frank was trying to capitalize on the erotic environment 381 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:09,560 and pivot into a more orgasmic business model, right? 382 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:14,060 And I noticed various unsavory investors were paying Frank 383 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:16,530 to try to get in on the ground floor. 384 00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:18,500 Dear God. Damn, you are not good at this. 385 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,030 I'm tryna say dudes were paying Frank to go into the basement. 386 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,140 - Mm-hmm. - Right. 387 00:17:21,169 --> 00:17:24,770 And he was failing in his efforts to poach talent from the slapping pool. 388 00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:28,810 Ooh. I like those straps, and I can't wait to see it off. Let's go downstairs. 389 00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:31,550 And I knew this 'cause chicks were slapping him constantly. 390 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:35,850 But then I saw him trying to headhunt for new key players in this thing. 391 00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:39,590 Yo, baby. I need a prostitute. 392 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,990 But he was running up against some logistical hurdles. 393 00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:44,060 Well, when's she coming back from The Bahamas? 394 00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:46,790 So, the slap fighting and the basement full of men. 395 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,360 The whole thing was just a big red flag. He had a target on his back and whatnot. 396 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:53,570 So, when The Waitress got all pissed off she wasn't gonna get a Cybertruck, 397 00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:56,700 and the police were potentially going to get involved, Frank panicked. 398 00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,710 He was worried about the orgy, 399 00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:01,640 which led to the dumping into the Schuylkills and whatnot. 400 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:06,580 And so that is why he is the person that... that should take this fall. 401 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:09,380 Um, also, there's still a bunch of dudes in the basement. 402 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,790 - Uh... What? Right now? - What? 403 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,390 Yeah, there's, like, guys down there now. 404 00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:14,460 - Dude. - Right? How many are down there? 405 00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,520 - Eleven. Eleven. Eleven's the answer. - Eleven dudes in the basement. 406 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:17,990 - The reporter could see all this. - Yeah, one could come up. 407 00:18:17,990 --> 00:18:20,060 - It could be an issue for us. - Oh, shit. 408 00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,630 We got to figure out what we're gonna do and get her out of here. 409 00:18:22,630 --> 00:18:24,770 I agree with Charlie. I think Frank should take the fall for the whole thing. 410 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,030 - Well, that's insane. - You drove a Cybertruck into the river. 411 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,440 I didn't know. I thought it was an aquatic vehicle. 412 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,570 - It's an environmental nightmare. - It should be, but it's not. 413 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,510 If anything, it looks like it goes into space. 414 00:18:33,510 --> 00:18:34,640 - Yeah, it should be but it's not. - The liberal press 415 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:35,910 is going to crucify us. 416 00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,010 I gotta come clean. 417 00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:40,780 I think the truck is ugly. 418 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:42,420 Damn it. I knew you were gonna say that. I knew she was gonna say that. 419 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:45,790 Stupid. You're stupid. I call bullshit on that. 420 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,660 All right. Enough, enough. 421 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,520 I've had enough with the charts and the maps and the graphs. 422 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,930 It's clear you're all good foot soldiers, loyal servants and whatnot. 423 00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:59,030 But it's time we connect the Legos here and boil down to our core values. 424 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:02,900 Yes, hammer down on our brand identity and come out open commando. 425 00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:04,970 - I said the commando thing. - Didn't make sense the first time. 426 00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:07,070 I thought it was... It sounded cool and I want to circle back. 427 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,440 - If you're doing it 'cause it's cool... - Okay. I got a plan, 428 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,550 and this is it. 429 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:15,650 Okay. Here we go. 430 00:19:17,350 --> 00:19:19,650 Um, ma'am, we are finally ready to make our statement. 431 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,020 Yeah, yeah. 432 00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:25,890 No comment. 433 00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:30,500 That said, we are no longer gonna drink, serve, or have anything to do 434 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,400 - that represents water. - Yeah. 435 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,640 - Water is not the cornerstone of our company. - Mm-mmm. 436 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,740 And we will hereby, uh, be getting rid of the watercooler. 437 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,540 - Gone. - Gone. 438 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:40,580 Excuse me, I-I'm not sure what you're talking about. 439 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,740 Sorry. We got on talking like this when we started over-hydrating. 440 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,410 Yeah, we watched a couple YouTube clips about a corporate retreat. 441 00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:48,020 Got some water, got hydrated. 442 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,050 So, we're not gonna talk about that subject anymore. 443 00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,050 - No more water. - No comment is the main thing, right? 444 00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:54,360 - Yeah. What I said in the beginning. - Yeah. And no water. 445 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,020 I'm sorry, do you think I'm a reporter? 446 00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,090 Yeah. 447 00:19:58,090 --> 00:20:00,600 No. I'm here for the orgy. 448 00:20:01,060 --> 00:20:02,930 Oh. Oh. 449 00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:05,430 Good. Great. Great. 450 00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:08,440 Oh. Hey, guys, the whore is here. 451 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,880 - I was waiting for you. - I told you guys, man. 452 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,740 - That's one woman. - Yeah. 453 00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:18,080 Yeah. T-That's not an orgy. That's a... 454 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,610 - No. No. - That's a gangbang. 455 00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,050 - No. No. - That's a gangbang, yeah. 456 00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:23,550 We really should find a way to exit Frank. 457 00:21:03,171 --> 00:21:08,283 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com