1
00:00:03,685 --> 00:00:06,313
What's the key
to being a great dad?

2
00:00:08,065 --> 00:00:10,734
Ah, that's a tough one.

3
00:00:10,818 --> 00:00:13,028
Giving them the freedom
to be whatever they want to be.

4
00:00:13,153 --> 00:00:14,947
Right. Exactly.
Whether that's a painter,

5
00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:17,533
a poet, a pilot, a president-

6
00:00:17,658 --> 00:00:21,036
And for us, we're gonna-
of a company
or of a country.

7
00:00:23,997 --> 00:00:25,916
Patience.

8
00:00:27,209 --> 00:00:29,711
Well, be their buddy.

9
00:00:29,837 --> 00:00:31,797
That's your answer?
And stay in school.

10
00:00:31,922 --> 00:00:33,632
No.
And don't do drugs.

11
00:00:33,757 --> 00:00:35,634
No!
Just give me the answer.

12
00:00:35,717 --> 00:00:37,386
Oh, God.

13
00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:42,099
Still thinking.

14
00:00:43,183 --> 00:00:45,144
? Hey, hey?

15
00:00:45,227 --> 00:00:49,273
? Hey, hey
Hey, hey?

16
00:00:49,356 --> 00:00:52,401
? Hey, hey
Hey?

17
00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:01,618
Hi, Claire.
Hey.

18
00:01:01,743 --> 00:01:03,495
Hey.
Oh, okay.

19
00:01:03,579 --> 00:01:06,748
Hi. Um, this is
my husband, Phil.

20
00:01:06,832 --> 00:01:09,376
Hi.
And, uh, that's my son,
Luke, right there.

21
00:01:09,501 --> 00:01:11,420
This is-
Desiree.

22
00:01:11,503 --> 00:01:13,380
Desiree, right.
Sorry.
Oh, hi.

23
00:01:13,505 --> 00:01:16,008
Desiree just moved in
down the block.
Fun. Where?

24
00:01:16,091 --> 00:01:17,718
314.
Oh!

25
00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,220
The two-bedroom cottage with
the indoor-outdoor family room.

26
00:01:20,304 --> 00:01:21,889
Very good.
How did you-

27
00:01:22,014 --> 00:01:24,516
Bet you're lovin'
that steam shower.
Phil, that's creepy.

28
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,895
Oh, sorry. I'm a-
I'm a real estate mogul.

29
00:01:27,978 --> 00:01:30,606
"What?" No, I'm a-
I am a real estate agent.

30
00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:32,983
We caravanned that house.
Great, uh, deck.

31
00:01:33,066 --> 00:01:36,320
Thanks. I'm just there
till my divorce is final.

32
00:01:36,403 --> 00:01:38,864
Now, who is coconuts enough
to divorce you?

33
00:01:38,947 --> 00:01:41,491
We gotta go,
but we'll see you around.

34
00:01:41,575 --> 00:01:43,493
We'll have to have you
over sometime.

35
00:01:43,619 --> 00:01:45,245
I'd love it.
All right.

36
00:01:45,370 --> 00:01:47,122
Bye.
Bye.

37
00:01:47,247 --> 00:01:50,042
She's awesome.
No, we are never
having her over.

38
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:52,628
Heard she already slept
with two dads from the school.

39
00:01:52,711 --> 00:01:54,379
What?
Mm-hmm.

40
00:01:54,463 --> 00:01:56,089
That's horrible.

41
00:01:57,507 --> 00:01:59,551
Dad, watch out!
Whoa! Watch it, buddy!

42
00:01:59,676 --> 00:02:01,345
Grandma.
I'm sorry.

43
00:02:01,428 --> 00:02:03,847
That still looks
like a girl's bike.

44
00:02:03,931 --> 00:02:05,849
We'll add more black tape.

45
00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:08,685
My son has been riding
his sister's old bike.

46
00:02:08,769 --> 00:02:11,730
Until he's responsible enough
to take care of his own bike.

47
00:02:11,813 --> 00:02:13,815
Look, he spilled a soda
on my computer,

48
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:16,944
he ruined our digital camera
taking pictures of himself
underwater.

49
00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:19,279
It's a girl's bike.
I'm all for teaching him a lesson.

50
00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:23,742
But I worry about
the ridicule he might get
from some loudmouth bully.

51
00:02:23,825 --> 00:02:27,746
- Hey, hey, hey. Nice bike, Sally.

52
00:02:27,829 --> 00:02:31,333
- Dad!
- Come on. He looks like
Little Bo Peep on that thing.

53
00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:33,752
Actually, not for long.
He's getting a new bike
this afternoon.

54
00:02:33,835 --> 00:02:35,504
I am?
Mm-hmm.

55
00:02:35,587 --> 00:02:37,756
He is?

56
00:02:37,839 --> 00:02:40,759
Sometimes
a man's gotta put his foot down
and do what a man's gotta do.

57
00:02:40,842 --> 00:02:43,178
And if the old lady
don't like it-

58
00:02:43,262 --> 00:02:45,180
Honey?

59
00:02:46,974 --> 00:02:49,101
That's too damn bad.

60
00:02:49,184 --> 00:02:52,020
Yes. Who's excited, huh?

61
00:02:52,104 --> 00:02:54,523
Cam, come on. Hurry up.
We're gonna be late.

62
00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:57,401
It's a toddler play class,
not a flight to Cabo.

63
00:02:57,484 --> 00:02:59,486
We're gonna be judged enough
as the only gay parents there.

64
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:01,071
I don't wanna be
the late ones too.

65
00:03:01,154 --> 00:03:03,782
Wow! Paisley and pink.

66
00:03:03,865 --> 00:03:05,742
Was there something wrong
with the fishnet tank top?

67
00:03:05,826 --> 00:03:08,120
Obviously not.
I'm wearing it underneath.

68
00:03:08,203 --> 00:03:10,747
Kidding.
Just chill, please. Here.

69
00:03:10,831 --> 00:03:13,000
I'm sorry. I just wanna make
a good first impression.

70
00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:15,460
You wanna fit in and not
terrify the villagers?
Hey, come on.

71
00:03:15,544 --> 00:03:17,796
Today is about Lily,
all right?

72
00:03:17,879 --> 00:03:19,881
Her future best friend
might be in that class,

73
00:03:19,965 --> 00:03:22,050
and I don't wanna rub
anyone the wrong way.

74
00:03:22,134 --> 00:03:25,262
Can you please just
change your shirt?

75
00:03:25,345 --> 00:03:28,307
Fine. You know what?
I'll just go put on a pair of
khakis, maybe a polo shirt,

76
00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:30,892
and everybody will think
we're a couple straight
golfin' buddies...

77
00:03:30,976 --> 00:03:33,103
who just decided
to have a kid together.

78
00:03:35,188 --> 00:03:39,609
Hey, I called that place in Napa
and got us upgraded to a villa
with a hot tub.

79
00:03:39,735 --> 00:03:43,155
So pack whatever
you wear in a hot tub.
Mmm!

80
00:03:43,238 --> 00:03:46,283
I usually wear nothing
when I'm in a hot tub.

81
00:03:46,366 --> 00:03:48,994
And my college roommate's wife
just had to get a new hip.

82
00:03:49,077 --> 00:03:50,996
Sucker.

83
00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:54,291
Manny's father
is taking him for a couple
of days to Disneyland,

84
00:03:54,374 --> 00:03:56,668
so we're gonna go
to the wine country.

85
00:03:56,752 --> 00:03:59,421
We're gonna drink some wine,
eat some good food.

86
00:03:59,546 --> 00:04:03,967
You know, we would do something
like this a lot more often if
it wasn't for, you know, Manny.

87
00:04:04,092 --> 00:04:07,679
He's good.
He keep us grounded.
Yeah.

88
00:04:07,763 --> 00:04:09,973
Like fog at an airport.

89
00:04:10,057 --> 00:04:13,310
Limo gets here at 4:00.
This morning, I thought I'd go
to the club, hit a few balls.

90
00:04:13,393 --> 00:04:15,729
No! What about the fan
in Manny's room?

91
00:04:15,812 --> 00:04:18,315
Oh, yeah. Call a guy.

92
00:04:18,398 --> 00:04:21,068
No! You're supposed to
do it with him.

93
00:04:21,151 --> 00:04:24,154
It's important that we teach him
how to do things for himself.

94
00:04:24,237 --> 00:04:26,823
In my culture,
men take great pride
in doing physical labor.

95
00:04:26,907 --> 00:04:30,702
I know.
That's why I hire people
from your culture.

96
00:04:30,786 --> 00:04:34,081
You're too funny.

97
00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:38,001
I'm gonna share that one
with my next husband when we're
spending all your money.

98
00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:43,173
Dad, this is
the coolest bike ever.
Awesome.

99
00:04:43,256 --> 00:04:45,300
So, listen, buddy.

100
00:04:45,384 --> 00:04:49,679
Certain members of this family
don't think you can take care
of this bad boy.

101
00:04:49,805 --> 00:04:52,057
You mean Mom?
Your words, not mine.

102
00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:55,644
Look, uh, your mom and I
are a team,

103
00:04:55,727 --> 00:05:00,941
and she- we feel like this
is a chance for you to show
some responsibility.

104
00:05:01,024 --> 00:05:03,276
Don't make us look
like jerks here.

105
00:05:03,402 --> 00:05:05,445
I won't.
Okay.

106
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:07,531
One more rule.
What?

107
00:05:07,614 --> 00:05:10,242
Have, like, three
butt-loads of fun.

108
00:05:10,325 --> 00:05:12,411
Thanks, Dad.

109
00:05:20,794 --> 00:05:23,588
- So let's do this.
- Okay, but I need to
be done by 3:00.

110
00:05:23,672 --> 00:05:25,674
That's when my dad's
picking me up.

111
00:05:25,757 --> 00:05:29,136
Hey, if we're not done by 3:00,
I'm gonna tie a noose
on this thing.

112
00:05:29,219 --> 00:05:32,013
In Colombia there's a saying:

113
00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:34,641
"If you have two stubborn burros
that don't like each other,

114
00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:36,935
you tie them
to the same cart."

115
00:05:37,018 --> 00:05:39,688
The ceiling fan is the cart.

116
00:05:39,771 --> 00:05:42,232
My dad's taking me
on Space Mountain.

117
00:05:42,315 --> 00:05:45,235
It's supposed to be really fast,
but he's not scared of anything.

118
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,947
He doesn't even wear
a seat belt when he drives.
Wow. How 'bout that?

119
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:52,701
- Killed a bear once.
- Really? Was the bear sittin'
in the passenger seat?

120
00:05:53,869 --> 00:05:56,663
Read me the instructions.

121
00:05:56,746 --> 00:05:59,791
"Safety tips.
to reduce the risk
of electrical shock"-

122
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:02,878
We can skip that.

123
00:06:02,961 --> 00:06:06,298
Uh, "Failure to heed
these warnings can lead
to serious injury or death."

124
00:06:06,381 --> 00:06:08,467
You know,
you worry too much.
You know that.

125
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:10,135
Nobody's gonna get shocked.

126
00:06:10,218 --> 00:06:12,471
One time my dad
was struck by lightning.

127
00:06:12,554 --> 00:06:15,140
That's why he can drink
as much as he wants.

128
00:06:15,223 --> 00:06:17,642
Manny thinks his dad
is like Superman.

129
00:06:17,726 --> 00:06:20,312
The truth?
He's a total flake.

130
00:06:20,395 --> 00:06:22,606
In fact, the only way
he's like Superman...

131
00:06:22,689 --> 00:06:25,275
is that they both landed
in this country illegally.

132
00:06:27,861 --> 00:06:29,821
I can't believe
I'm so nervous.

133
00:06:29,905 --> 00:06:31,907
They're gonna love us.
Let's just be ourselves.

134
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,159
Or a slightly toned-down
version of ourselves.

135
00:06:34,284 --> 00:06:37,245
I just don't want this to become
an episode of "The Cam Show."

136
00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:39,289
Oh, my gosh.
People love "The Cam Show."
Yes, I know.

137
00:06:39,414 --> 00:06:40,999
You watch "The Cam Show."
I do watch it.

138
00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:42,834
It's appointment viewing.
Okay.

139
00:06:42,959 --> 00:06:44,920
Hi!
Hi! Are you here
for Toddler Time?

140
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:47,506
Yes. I-I'm Mitchell.
This is Cameron.
Hello.

141
00:06:47,589 --> 00:06:49,633
And this here is Lily.

142
00:06:49,716 --> 00:06:51,927
Oh, well! Welcome.

143
00:06:52,010 --> 00:06:54,554
- We're all over here
taking turns blowing bubbles.
- Oh!

144
00:06:54,638 --> 00:06:58,892
Well, how nice
for... the babies.

145
00:06:58,975 --> 00:07:01,269
Mm-hmm.

146
00:07:02,604 --> 00:07:04,564
This is gonna be really difficult.

147
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:12,004
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

148
00:07:16,284 --> 00:07:19,621
Ten minutes
after making a promise to me,
he leaves his bike unlocked.

149
00:07:19,704 --> 00:07:22,666
All I can hear is
Claire's voice in my head-

150
00:07:22,749 --> 00:07:24,668
"He's not responsible.

151
00:07:24,751 --> 00:07:27,212
You never should have
given him a bike."

152
00:07:27,295 --> 00:07:30,131
I know.
I do a pretty good Claire.

153
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:33,301
So I decided
to teach him a lesson...

154
00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:36,429
and let him think
his bike was stolen.

155
00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:40,892
And I know that sounds kind
of rough, but sometimes it's
a dad's job to be the tough guy.

156
00:07:40,976 --> 00:07:42,644
Excuse me! Thank you.

157
00:07:42,727 --> 00:07:44,646
On your left!
My left. Your right!

158
00:07:46,731 --> 00:07:51,653
Everyone, we have a new family
joining us today.

159
00:07:51,736 --> 00:07:55,657
Hi. I'm, uh, Mitchell,
and I am a lawyer.

160
00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:58,493
I- I'm Cameron,
and I'm currently
not working,

161
00:07:58,577 --> 00:08:03,540
which gives me more time
to grill and shoot baskets
and-

162
00:08:03,623 --> 00:08:05,542
And this is Lily.

163
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:07,752
Okay, we're gonna start
with the Hello Dance,

164
00:08:07,836 --> 00:08:10,380
and then we're gonna move on
to blocks, then finger painting,

165
00:08:10,463 --> 00:08:12,882
and then we're gonna do
our Family Dance.

166
00:08:12,966 --> 00:08:14,968
All right.
Who wants to start us off?

167
00:08:15,051 --> 00:08:17,345
Dance us in, P.J.!

168
00:08:22,642 --> 00:08:25,186
She's adorable.
Oh, thank you.

169
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:27,188
Seven months?
Uh, eight.

170
00:08:27,272 --> 00:08:30,317
Oh! Is she grabbing
or scooting yet?

171
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,402
Yes. Absolutely.

172
00:08:32,485 --> 00:08:35,530
I mean, when she's
not grabbin', she is-
she is scootin'.

173
00:08:35,614 --> 00:08:37,949
Dance us in, Tyler!

174
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:40,702
Are you ready?
Okay. Here we go.

175
00:08:40,785 --> 00:08:43,622
Whoo! Oh!

176
00:08:43,705 --> 00:08:46,666
Cam, Lily is not grabbing
or scooting yet.

177
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:49,544
Well, she's not doing it yet,
but she will eventually.

178
00:08:49,628 --> 00:08:52,672
No, but, see,
a lot of these other kids,
they're- they're grabbing.

179
00:08:52,756 --> 00:08:54,633
I-I just- Here. Come-

180
00:08:54,716 --> 00:08:57,802
Lily. Look at the block, huh?
Grab the block, Lily.
Grab the "H."

181
00:08:57,886 --> 00:08:59,888
Dance us in, Lily!

182
00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:01,765
Okay. I got this.
Cam, just-

183
00:09:01,848 --> 00:09:04,809
Yes, I know.
Tamp down my natural gifts
and dance like a straight guy.

184
00:09:04,934 --> 00:09:08,188
No slapping your own butt.
But that's how
I make my horsey go.

185
00:09:20,659 --> 00:09:23,536
- Thank you.

186
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:25,789
That was very good.

187
00:09:25,872 --> 00:09:28,541
I feel dirty.

188
00:09:31,086 --> 00:09:33,213
Oh, hey.
Hey! Hi.

189
00:09:33,296 --> 00:09:35,215
Hi.
Hi.

190
00:09:35,298 --> 00:09:38,802
Uh, this is really
embarrassing, but I locked
myself out of my house.

191
00:09:38,885 --> 00:09:43,056
Oh! Pssh!
I do that all the time.
Don't be embarrassed.

192
00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,517
I was- I was hoping
you could help me.

193
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,644
There's a window open,
but I can't reach it.

194
00:09:47,727 --> 00:09:49,729
Would you mind?

195
00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:55,110
Yeah. Yeah. Sure.
Great.

196
00:09:55,193 --> 00:09:57,821
Of course.
You know what they say-

197
00:09:57,904 --> 00:10:01,116
"Every time
God closes a door,
he opens a window."

198
00:10:01,199 --> 00:10:04,744
Or I guess in this case,
every time he locks you out.
Okay, what do we got here?

199
00:10:04,828 --> 00:10:07,747
I mean,
am I attracted to her? Yes.

200
00:10:07,831 --> 00:10:10,041
Would I ever act on it?
No. No way.

201
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:13,420
Not while my wife
is still alive.

202
00:10:13,503 --> 00:10:15,755
Are you sure I can't get you
something to drink?

203
00:10:15,839 --> 00:10:17,882
Yeah. No, I'm-
I'm fine. Really.

204
00:10:17,966 --> 00:10:21,886
If I knew a man was gonna
climb into my bedroom window,
I would have cleaned up a bit.

205
00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:24,180
Are you kidding me?
It smelled great in there.

206
00:10:24,264 --> 00:10:26,224
Like lotions and oils...

207
00:10:26,307 --> 00:10:28,977
for... dry skin
and, you know,
calloused hands.

208
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,979
Yeah, it's a candle.

209
00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:33,064
Uh-oh.
What's wrong?

210
00:10:34,482 --> 00:10:36,818
The bike's gone.
Oh, no.

211
00:10:36,943 --> 00:10:39,320
Can I help you find it?
That's all right.
Thank you.

212
00:10:39,404 --> 00:10:41,322
Okay. Thank you!

213
00:10:43,032 --> 00:10:45,952
So, to teach him a lesson,
I took his bike,

214
00:10:46,035 --> 00:10:50,248
and then- crazy thing-
I put it down for one minute,
and someone swiped it from me.

215
00:10:50,331 --> 00:10:53,001
Maybe that was your dad
teaching you a lesson.

216
00:10:53,084 --> 00:10:56,504
Zinger.

217
00:10:56,588 --> 00:11:01,009
So, any chance I could, uh,
get a break on this one?

218
00:11:01,134 --> 00:11:03,052
I can throw in a bell-
Deal.

219
00:11:03,178 --> 00:11:05,096
for five dollars.
No, sir.

220
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:09,225
So, you wanna go
for the insurance this time,
or is it still for suckers?

221
00:11:09,309 --> 00:11:12,020
Got me again.

222
00:11:12,103 --> 00:11:14,856
Well played, milord.

223
00:11:14,939 --> 00:11:17,150
I will take some insurance.
Thank you.

224
00:11:17,358 --> 00:11:20,278
What's going on in there?

225
00:11:20,403 --> 00:11:22,280
That's not step four.
Don't worry about it.

226
00:11:22,405 --> 00:11:24,991
It says right here
that you should-
That's worrying about it.

227
00:11:25,074 --> 00:11:27,285
I thought you guys
might need a drink.

228
00:11:27,368 --> 00:11:29,287
Oh, you have no idea.

229
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:32,540
Manny, mi amor, I have to go
get some stuff for our trip.

230
00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:36,211
¡Ay! But have some fun
with your father, okay?
And I'll see you Monday.

231
00:11:36,294 --> 00:11:40,924
Mwah! It makes me so happy
to see my two boys
working together.

232
00:11:41,049 --> 00:11:43,343
Jay shocked himself twice.
Okay, Manny.

233
00:11:43,468 --> 00:11:46,387
Well, I warned him.
Yep, he's been a big help.

234
00:11:46,471 --> 00:11:49,474
Look at you two with
your private jokes already.

235
00:11:49,557 --> 00:11:52,519
You're a regular
Salazar and El Oso.

236
00:11:52,602 --> 00:11:55,188
It's a very big comedy team
in Colombia.

237
00:11:55,271 --> 00:11:58,775
El Oso is always
hitting Salazar in the head
with the ladder and things.

238
00:11:58,858 --> 00:12:01,319
And sometimes
they wear dresses. Hmm.

239
00:12:01,402 --> 00:12:05,031
They make you laugh,
but they also make you think.

240
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:09,285
You blew it.
You made me look bad.

241
00:12:09,369 --> 00:12:12,914
No, you made your mother
and I look bad. We are a team.

242
00:12:14,082 --> 00:12:16,000
Luke, you in there?
Hey, Dad.

243
00:12:16,084 --> 00:12:18,336
Hey. Hey, buddy.

244
00:12:18,419 --> 00:12:21,631
That was, uh-
That was pretty fun today, huh?
Getting a new bike.

245
00:12:21,756 --> 00:12:25,301
Yeah, it was awesome.
So, uh, what happened
after I took off?

246
00:12:25,426 --> 00:12:28,054
Anything you want
to share with me?
Not really.

247
00:12:28,137 --> 00:12:30,849
So, if I, uh,
went out to the garage,

248
00:12:30,932 --> 00:12:33,726
took a picture
for a scrapbook,
there'd be no surprises?

249
00:12:35,061 --> 00:12:39,023
I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it.
I just made a mistake.

250
00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:41,901
Yeah, a big mistake!
You're making me look
really bad here.

251
00:12:41,985 --> 00:12:44,028
I told Mom
you were ready for this.

252
00:12:44,112 --> 00:12:46,865
- It's just a scratch, Dad.
- That's not the point, Luke! What?

253
00:12:46,948 --> 00:12:50,577
I scratched it on my way
into the driveway. I'm sorry.

254
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,204
So, it's not stolen?

255
00:12:53,288 --> 00:12:55,623
No. Why?

256
00:12:55,707 --> 00:12:57,667
That's good,

257
00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:01,087
'cause... there are
bad people out there
who would steal a bike.

258
00:13:01,170 --> 00:13:02,839
Those are thieves.

259
00:13:02,922 --> 00:13:05,300
You sit there and think
about the scratch part.
That's not good either.

260
00:13:05,425 --> 00:13:07,051
I gotta fix that step.

261
00:13:07,135 --> 00:13:10,555
So don't scratch anything while
I'm gone, unless it itches.
That's different.

262
00:13:10,638 --> 00:13:14,851
The good news is,
Luke has his bike.

263
00:13:14,934 --> 00:13:16,895
More good news-

264
00:13:16,978 --> 00:13:20,481
I taught some random kid
a valuable lesson
by stealing his bike.

265
00:13:20,565 --> 00:13:23,484
Best news-
Claire knows nothing.

266
00:13:23,568 --> 00:13:27,822
So, I figure
I'll just dump the new bike
where I stole the first bike.

267
00:13:27,906 --> 00:13:30,116
That way,
random kid gets his back,

268
00:13:30,199 --> 00:13:32,911
and this new bike
doesn't raise a lot
of embarrassing questions...

269
00:13:32,994 --> 00:13:36,956
like why I had it
or who boosted who
through a bedroom window.

270
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,876
So, everybody's happy.

271
00:13:39,959 --> 00:13:42,754
Uh-oh.

272
00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:46,257
Ah, son of a- You gave me
the wrong screwdriver.

273
00:13:46,341 --> 00:13:48,301
Maybe you're just
using it wrong.

274
00:13:48,384 --> 00:13:52,013
My dad's great with tools.
He can get the wheels off a car
in less than a minute.

275
00:13:52,096 --> 00:13:54,933
Just get me to wine country.
Just get me to wine country.

276
00:13:55,016 --> 00:13:56,643
Ow!
Sorry!

277
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:59,354
I think my arm is broken.
Relax. It's not broken.

278
00:13:59,437 --> 00:14:01,481
How do you know?
You don't know anything.

279
00:14:01,564 --> 00:14:03,441
You have no concern
for safety.

280
00:14:03,566 --> 00:14:06,152
Because it didn't
hit you that hard.
Why don't you just say it?

281
00:14:06,277 --> 00:14:09,280
You don't want me around.
You know what?
Right now, I don't!

282
00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:12,450
I don't wanna be with you either.
I'm gonna go wait for my dad.

283
00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:15,620
Oh, but- but if you leave,
how will I ever finish?

284
00:14:15,703 --> 00:14:18,998
You know what?
I wish you never married my mom.

285
00:14:19,123 --> 00:14:21,626
I hate living here.
You think I like
this arrangement?

286
00:14:21,709 --> 00:14:24,712
I got a two-seater parked
in the driveway!

287
00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:32,428
I mean,
I don't understand.

288
00:14:32,512 --> 00:14:34,806
Why are you trying to sneak around
and hide things from me?

289
00:14:34,931 --> 00:14:37,266
I actually think
it's pretty funny.
You do?

290
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:39,352
I do. Yes.

291
00:14:39,435 --> 00:14:43,481
I mean, you steal a bike
from some poor kid, and then
the bike gets stolen from you.

292
00:14:43,606 --> 00:14:45,692
It's hilarious.

293
00:14:45,817 --> 00:14:47,777
Classic me, right?
Yeah!

294
00:14:47,902 --> 00:14:51,364
So, where were you
when it got stolen?
Oh, I was getting some gas.

295
00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:54,617
Uh-huh.
You don't stand near the car
when you get gas?

296
00:14:54,701 --> 00:14:58,121
Yep, but, uh, I went
inside to get a soda
because I was thirsty,

297
00:14:58,204 --> 00:15:00,248
and if I had a soda,
I wouldn't be thirsty
anymore.

298
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:03,751
So I bought one, then I
drank it all right there, which
is why I don't have the can.

299
00:15:03,835 --> 00:15:07,839
Well, honey, please,
let's try to remember that
I'm your wife, not your mom.

300
00:15:07,922 --> 00:15:11,092
So in the future,
you don't need to hide
things from me. Okay?

301
00:15:11,175 --> 00:15:13,052
Okay.
Okay.

302
00:15:13,177 --> 00:15:15,888
Okay.
Oh! Oh, yeah.

303
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,850
You get back here, you!
What are you doing, Phil?

304
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,810
I just love ya
so darn much!

305
00:15:20,935 --> 00:15:23,312
I know. I love you too,
but that hurts.
Let's get you inside.

306
00:15:23,438 --> 00:15:25,440
Hi.
I know.
That's hurting a lot.

307
00:15:25,565 --> 00:15:27,442
This is a hot one.
Hello! Hi there!

308
00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:29,485
Hi again.
Oh, hi.

309
00:15:29,569 --> 00:15:31,446
I, uh, found your bike.

310
00:15:31,571 --> 00:15:33,656
Uh-
Oh, good! You-

311
00:15:33,781 --> 00:15:36,451
At the gas station?
No, at my house.

312
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:40,955
One of my neighbors saw it
and put it in my garage when
you were in my bedroom, so-

313
00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:46,294
Classic me?

314
00:15:46,377 --> 00:15:49,172
Come on, honey.
Grab the block.

315
00:15:49,255 --> 00:15:51,507
See, like he did.
You gotta do that.

316
00:15:51,632 --> 00:15:55,219
You gotta grab it
like him.
So, seen any movies lately?

317
00:15:55,303 --> 00:15:56,971
Uh, yeah.

318
00:15:57,055 --> 00:16:01,392
You know, my husband and I
just rented, uh, Mamma Mia!
which I liked,

319
00:16:01,476 --> 00:16:05,063
but I don't know that Meryl Streep
was the right choice.

320
00:16:05,146 --> 00:16:07,273
What did you think?

321
00:16:07,356 --> 00:16:11,360
Excuse me.
Meryl Streep could play Batman
and be the right choice.

322
00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:13,362
She's perfection...

323
00:16:13,446 --> 00:16:16,741
whether she's divorcing Kramer,
whether she's wearing Prada.

324
00:16:16,824 --> 00:16:19,494
Don't even get me started
on Sophie's Choice.

325
00:16:19,577 --> 00:16:22,163
I get emotional
thinking about it.

326
00:16:23,915 --> 00:16:26,167
She couldn't forgive herself.

327
00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:32,757
I guess she was okay.

328
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,634
Really? Ooh.

329
00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:36,385
Uh-uh-uh.

330
00:16:36,469 --> 00:16:38,387
Grab the blocks,
sweetheart.

331
00:16:38,471 --> 00:16:41,766
- You're not even interested in it.
- Is Henry stacking?

332
00:16:41,849 --> 00:16:44,060
Good job, Henry!

333
00:16:44,143 --> 00:16:46,062
Good job!

334
00:16:48,689 --> 00:16:52,735
? Q-R-S
T-U-V?

335
00:16:52,819 --> 00:16:56,447
? W-X-Y and Z?

336
00:16:56,531 --> 00:16:58,783
? Now I know my-?

337
00:16:58,866 --> 00:17:01,244
Whoa, Lily! Oh!

338
00:17:01,327 --> 00:17:04,122
Not so high. Wow!

339
00:17:04,205 --> 00:17:06,165
- That is a big moment for her.
- Yeah.

340
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:08,167
Would you like
a videotape?

341
00:17:08,251 --> 00:17:11,879
Uh, you know, I don't-
I don't know if I can actually
get her to do it again, so-

342
00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:14,757
Well, we tape all
of our classes.

343
00:17:14,882 --> 00:17:17,760
We don't like parents
bringing cameras in.
It keeps them out of the moment.

344
00:17:17,885 --> 00:17:19,595
I'll get you a copy after class.
That's super. Yeah.

345
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,389
Great.
Thank you.

346
00:17:23,224 --> 00:17:25,143
Cam. Cam, let's go.

347
00:17:25,226 --> 00:17:28,354
I don't know what's happened
to me, but I just stole a baby's
intellectual property.

348
00:17:28,479 --> 00:17:30,148
What?
You'll see it tonight
on the news.

349
00:17:30,231 --> 00:17:34,026
- Come on. Let's just go.
- Oh, look who's here!

350
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:36,237
Anton and Scott!
Sorry we're late!

351
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,323
Don't look at me.
The eye candy here
can't leave the house...

352
00:17:39,407 --> 00:17:41,576
without spending 20 minutes
in front of the mirror.

353
00:17:41,701 --> 00:17:43,953
Are you kidding me?

354
00:17:44,036 --> 00:17:46,622
I am so sorry.

355
00:17:46,706 --> 00:17:49,000
Look at those queens.
I would have killed
with this crowd.

356
00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:51,919
But you had to clip my wings-
which you used to be
the wind beneath.

357
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:55,173
I know. I'm sor-
This class has turned me
into a complete monster.

358
00:17:55,256 --> 00:17:57,675
I'm- I'm just-
I'll make it up to you.
Let's just go.

359
00:17:57,758 --> 00:18:00,595
Okay, it's time
for Parents Dance.

360
00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:03,347
Everybody dance
for your baby!

361
00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:07,310
Wow!

362
00:18:07,393 --> 00:18:09,478
You wanna do it,
don't you?

363
00:18:09,562 --> 00:18:11,189
I do.

364
00:18:11,272 --> 00:18:13,107
I wanna dance
for my baby.

365
00:18:13,232 --> 00:18:15,193
All right. Go on.
Get in there.
You sure?

366
00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:17,695
Make that horsey move.
Go ahead.

367
00:18:26,162 --> 00:18:29,165
Go, go!

368
00:18:34,712 --> 00:18:36,714
? G-Get it on?

369
00:18:37,715 --> 00:18:39,842
Oh, I think I hurt myself.

370
00:18:57,443 --> 00:19:00,905
Hello. Hey, Javier.

371
00:19:00,988 --> 00:19:03,616
Manny's waiting for you outside.

372
00:19:03,699 --> 00:19:06,369
What? Why not?

373
00:19:07,828 --> 00:19:09,956
Hold that thought.

374
00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:13,793
His son's sitting on a curb,
waiting to go to Disneyland,

375
00:19:13,876 --> 00:19:18,422
and Superman
can't drag himself away
from a craps table,

376
00:19:18,506 --> 00:19:20,508
and I'm the jerk.

377
00:19:23,052 --> 00:19:25,304
Say, listen.

378
00:19:25,388 --> 00:19:27,431
I, uh-

379
00:19:27,556 --> 00:19:31,018
Sorry, but I got
some bad news.
What?

380
00:19:31,143 --> 00:19:34,647
Your dad couldn't make it.
Why not?

381
00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:36,774
The plane was full,

382
00:19:36,857 --> 00:19:40,444
and this old lady
needed to get home,
so he gave up his seat.

383
00:19:40,569 --> 00:19:42,488
You're making that up,
aren't you?
No.

384
00:19:42,571 --> 00:19:44,490
He just didn't
want to come.

385
00:19:44,573 --> 00:19:47,994
Are you kidding me?
He was very upset.
He was dying to see you.

386
00:19:50,204 --> 00:19:52,206
In fact, look what he sent.

387
00:19:53,582 --> 00:19:55,584
A limo?
Yeah.

388
00:19:55,668 --> 00:19:58,004
He wanted me and your mom
to take you to Disneyland.

389
00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:01,632
I told you he was
an awesome dad.
Yeah, he's a prince.

390
00:20:03,175 --> 00:20:05,720
Okay. The key
to being a good dad?

391
00:20:07,555 --> 00:20:10,599
Look, sometimes things work out
just the way you want.

392
00:20:10,725 --> 00:20:14,395
Race you to the end.
That is not a good idea...
for you.

393
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:20,192
Sometimes they don't.
You gotta hang in there.

394
00:20:21,569 --> 00:20:23,738
Because when all
is said and done,

395
00:20:25,948 --> 00:20:28,701
90% of being a dad...

396
00:20:28,784 --> 00:20:30,870
is just showin' up.

397
00:20:43,424 --> 00:20:47,303
Hey! That's my bike!
Oh, I don't, uh-

398
00:20:48,679 --> 00:20:50,598
Well-

399
00:20:51,682 --> 00:20:54,602
You-
I was giving it back!

400
00:20:57,938 --> 00:21:00,066
She couldn't forgive herself.

401
00:21:00,149 --> 00:21:04,487
And... she had to choose.

402
00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:06,864
I think because now I have-

403
00:21:06,947 --> 00:21:10,117
we have- we have-
we have Lily,

404
00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:14,580
it's so hard to imagine
being put in that position.

405
00:21:14,663 --> 00:21:16,832
If I had to choose Lily
or Mitchell,

406
00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:19,001
I mean, I would choose Li-

407
00:21:19,085 --> 00:21:22,588
I don't know! I don't know!

408
00:21:24,673 --> 00:21:26,592
I don't know!

409
00:21:26,675 --> 00:21:29,637
I don't know!

410
00:21:30,235 --> 00:21:40,235
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.