1 00:00:05,945 --> 00:00:07,224 Jay, I'm home. 2 00:00:07,887 --> 00:00:10,660 - Did Manny call? - No, because he's fine. 3 00:00:10,785 --> 00:00:13,240 It was a slumber party, not a gang fight. 4 00:00:13,365 --> 00:00:15,277 I just want him to fit in. 5 00:00:16,074 --> 00:00:18,592 I'm gonna take a shower. Do you care to join me? 6 00:00:18,869 --> 00:00:21,954 You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage. 7 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:24,856 If I ever say "no" to that question, I want you to use it on me. 8 00:00:30,950 --> 00:00:32,101 What's wrong? 9 00:00:35,742 --> 00:00:38,295 Why aren't they trying to hurt each other? 10 00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:40,846 I don't know, but I'm afraid to move. 11 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,678 - You're really good at this. - Thanks. 12 00:00:43,803 --> 00:00:45,796 What is happening, Claire? 13 00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:50,303 - What do you think? - Now, that is a scone. 14 00:00:50,504 --> 00:00:52,383 No butter, nonfat. 15 00:00:52,778 --> 00:00:53,781 Shut up. 16 00:00:55,283 --> 00:00:56,886 I'm gonna go check on Lily. 17 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,551 - Surprise! - Mom! 18 00:01:06,374 --> 00:01:07,440 What's that? 19 00:01:08,124 --> 00:01:10,486 Sounds like a bird hit the window. 20 00:01:10,864 --> 00:01:12,827 Oh, God, that's a bad sign. 21 00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:15,658 That hurt, jerk! 22 00:01:16,345 --> 00:01:18,308 I'm gonna kill you, stupid! 23 00:01:19,661 --> 00:01:21,980 - What happened? - Now I'm sad. 24 00:01:22,723 --> 00:01:23,788 Hi, honey. 25 00:01:25,144 --> 00:01:27,437 I didn't know you were in town. You didn't call. 26 00:01:27,607 --> 00:01:30,251 Well, I couldn't wait to see your new baby. 27 00:01:30,376 --> 00:01:31,463 Where is she? 28 00:01:31,589 --> 00:01:33,534 - Mitchell, who was that? - It's my mom. 29 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:36,328 Yeah, right. 'Cause the last time she was here, 30 00:01:36,453 --> 00:01:39,134 the refrigerator magnets rearranged themselves into a penta... 31 00:01:39,259 --> 00:01:40,214 Grandma! 32 00:01:42,924 --> 00:01:45,388 Subtitles by Tyno 33 00:01:45,513 --> 00:01:47,479 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 34 00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:58,959 Mom, what are you doing to her legs? 35 00:01:59,129 --> 00:02:01,465 Tai chi. I did it every day in Sedona. 36 00:02:02,070 --> 00:02:03,922 Cameron, you should try it. 37 00:02:05,723 --> 00:02:08,895 Mitchell's mother has a problem... with me. 38 00:02:10,138 --> 00:02:11,443 Last Christmas, for example, 39 00:02:11,706 --> 00:02:15,665 she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce dryer. 40 00:02:15,909 --> 00:02:16,838 So, to recap, 41 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,339 I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, 42 00:02:19,464 --> 00:02:21,116 and she gave me a hint. 43 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:26,246 And living in Sedona has been transformational. 44 00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:29,814 I get up every morning, and I go to a vortex meditation site 45 00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:33,195 and work with a shaman to finally understand 46 00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:35,265 how to live my spirituality. 47 00:02:35,917 --> 00:02:36,786 Yikes. 48 00:02:36,954 --> 00:02:38,808 And I've learned that 49 00:02:38,933 --> 00:02:41,586 the only way I can move to the next level 50 00:02:41,756 --> 00:02:44,802 of my awakening is if we all 51 00:02:45,147 --> 00:02:47,637 can somehow get past... 52 00:02:48,305 --> 00:02:49,269 the incident. 53 00:02:52,151 --> 00:02:54,188 - The incident. - Oh, boy. 54 00:02:54,907 --> 00:02:58,311 I would like to congratulate Jay and the lovely Gloria. 55 00:02:58,551 --> 00:03:00,334 I'm very happy for them. 56 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,129 I wanted a big, beautiful wedding with Jay 57 00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:05,377 because my ex-husband and I got married 58 00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:08,228 in a tiny, little office of a judge in Colombia. 59 00:03:08,643 --> 00:03:10,406 My mother wanted to go to the wedding 60 00:03:10,531 --> 00:03:13,219 to show everyone how okay she was with all of it, 61 00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:15,906 so I convinced dad and Gloria to invite her. 62 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,762 Who warned you that that was the worst idea ever? 63 00:03:19,887 --> 00:03:20,738 Anyone? 64 00:03:21,277 --> 00:03:22,128 Anyone? 65 00:03:23,817 --> 00:03:25,863 Of course, I've moved on. 66 00:03:26,427 --> 00:03:29,751 I was supposed to come with a date, but he just hurt his back, 67 00:03:30,054 --> 00:03:33,918 which is very ironic because he's young and healthy. 68 00:03:34,278 --> 00:03:36,743 My mom started drinking these cocktails 69 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,712 called "horny Colombians" 70 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:41,466 with some of Gloria's uncles, 71 00:03:41,727 --> 00:03:44,479 whom, apparently, the drink was named after. 72 00:03:44,673 --> 00:03:46,625 Oh, come on, they were funny. 73 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:52,146 - They kept patting my butt. - Somebody's full of herself. 74 00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:55,570 It's a Colombian wedding tradition, they said. 75 00:03:57,845 --> 00:03:59,797 I would like to make a toast. 76 00:04:00,096 --> 00:04:02,459 Yeah, na got totally wasted. 77 00:04:02,728 --> 00:04:04,229 It was really funny. 78 00:04:05,095 --> 00:04:06,496 Then it was gross. 79 00:04:07,468 --> 00:04:10,639 To the bride and the groom, my ex. 80 00:04:11,349 --> 00:04:13,151 35 years we were together, 81 00:04:13,355 --> 00:04:16,026 and he couldn't wait 10 minutes to run off with charo. 82 00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:18,822 That's a joke. I'm kidding. 83 00:04:20,406 --> 00:04:24,061 Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other 84 00:04:24,186 --> 00:04:26,213 when I saw his wallet and her boobs. 85 00:04:28,047 --> 00:04:29,699 Take your hands off me. 86 00:04:29,824 --> 00:04:30,625 Mom. 87 00:04:30,932 --> 00:04:32,935 - Mom. - Relax, Mitchell. 88 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:35,111 What, did you take your Claire pill? 89 00:04:35,236 --> 00:04:37,193 Let's get a little fresh air, okay? 90 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,963 And then it got weird. 91 00:04:39,532 --> 00:04:41,451 I'm Gloria. Kiss me. 92 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,080 Oh, hey, kiss me. 93 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,170 Nana is really strong. 94 00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:56,941 During my vows to my first husband, 95 00:04:57,066 --> 00:05:00,129 drug dealers burst in and assassinated the judge. 96 00:05:00,254 --> 00:05:01,571 This was way worse. 97 00:05:01,696 --> 00:05:04,048 What can I say? I drive women crazy. 98 00:05:05,818 --> 00:05:07,295 It's too soon, I guess. 99 00:05:08,698 --> 00:05:11,819 - Everybody is going to be there, mom. - I don't care. 100 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:15,604 Your father and I are not about to let you drive two hours to go to a concert 101 00:05:15,772 --> 00:05:19,527 and spend the night with boys, especially that 17-year-old hormone. 102 00:05:19,696 --> 00:05:22,450 - It's totally supervised. - Oh, really? By whom? 103 00:05:22,619 --> 00:05:25,247 - By Spencer Patine's uncle. - Who's Spencer Patine? 104 00:05:25,415 --> 00:05:27,716 You know Spencer. The guy with the arm. 105 00:05:27,841 --> 00:05:30,773 - What does that even mean? - His uncle is uncle Tobey. 106 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,640 Oh, uncle Tobey. I'll be sure to include that in my Amber Alert. 107 00:05:33,808 --> 00:05:37,103 - Oh, my God. - Can I step in here? I can help. 108 00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:40,109 Haley, what your mom is worried about is you getting your heart 109 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,490 broken when Dylan goes off to college next year. 110 00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:45,580 - He's not going to college. - He's not going to college? 111 00:05:45,748 --> 00:05:48,117 He's in a band, okay? They're going on tour. 112 00:05:48,242 --> 00:05:50,042 This just gets better and better. 113 00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:52,870 Why are you always on me about everything? 114 00:05:52,995 --> 00:05:54,864 - Because you... - Everybody, calm down. 115 00:05:54,989 --> 00:05:56,999 Let's start from the beginning. 116 00:05:57,429 --> 00:05:59,531 What's wrong with Spencer's arm? 117 00:06:04,747 --> 00:06:06,664 - Mom, I'm home! - Hi, baby! 118 00:06:07,337 --> 00:06:09,790 Did you have fun at the slumber party? 119 00:06:10,247 --> 00:06:12,968 - You must be exhausted. - No, I'm not tired at all. 120 00:06:13,392 --> 00:06:15,645 I was the first one to fall asleep. 121 00:06:16,247 --> 00:06:17,434 What's on your face? 122 00:06:17,647 --> 00:06:20,841 A smile from having such a good time with my friends. 123 00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:22,038 Come here. 124 00:06:25,274 --> 00:06:26,075 Look. 125 00:06:28,131 --> 00:06:29,813 That's why they were laughing. 126 00:06:29,938 --> 00:06:32,758 I thought it was my funny take on current events. 127 00:06:33,034 --> 00:06:35,951 - Why would they do something like that? - Don't worry about it. 128 00:06:36,076 --> 00:06:39,578 Guys pull pranks like that all the time. You just got to prank 'em back. 129 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:43,406 Just got to show 'em you're willing to give as good as you get. 130 00:06:44,518 --> 00:06:45,920 What do you think? 131 00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:48,611 Revenge... 132 00:06:50,505 --> 00:06:51,506 I like it. 133 00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:54,718 Well, mom, instead of drudging up the whole 134 00:06:55,079 --> 00:06:57,891 incident, maybe we should just try and repress it. 135 00:06:58,016 --> 00:06:59,728 - Like a normal family. - I can't. 136 00:06:59,896 --> 00:07:01,147 I need closure. 137 00:07:01,859 --> 00:07:04,419 I'm about to embark on a new journey. 138 00:07:04,906 --> 00:07:06,007 I met a man. 139 00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:08,161 - Really? - His name is Chas, 140 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:12,211 and he's asked me to come live with him in his foreign land. 141 00:07:12,614 --> 00:07:14,335 - Where? - Canada. 142 00:07:14,736 --> 00:07:17,597 - You're moving to... Canada? - French Canada. 143 00:07:19,309 --> 00:07:20,983 That's wonderful. 144 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,531 It is wonderful. 145 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,045 It just that when I think of the awful things 146 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,324 that I said to Gloria and Jay 147 00:07:27,492 --> 00:07:29,224 and you and Claire, 148 00:07:29,581 --> 00:07:31,082 I feel such guilt. 149 00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:33,421 Give it time... And see Banff. 150 00:07:33,546 --> 00:07:34,853 Cam, please. 151 00:07:34,978 --> 00:07:37,595 I just can't give myself 152 00:07:37,765 --> 00:07:39,348 to him sexually. 153 00:07:39,516 --> 00:07:41,394 - Okay, mom. - Did not see that coming. 154 00:07:41,563 --> 00:07:43,014 Don't get me wrong. 155 00:07:43,139 --> 00:07:44,943 We satisfy each other down there. 156 00:07:46,519 --> 00:07:48,617 That's why I need everyone's forgiveness. 157 00:07:49,065 --> 00:07:50,619 I need your help, Mitchell. 158 00:07:50,744 --> 00:07:52,834 Did you hear that? Your mom needs your help to 159 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:55,220 make love to her new man, Chas. 160 00:07:55,681 --> 00:07:57,460 That's not weird at all. 161 00:07:59,052 --> 00:08:01,470 I'm just not really sure what you're asking me to do, mom. 162 00:08:01,596 --> 00:08:03,686 Well, everyone's mad at me. 163 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:07,488 Maybe you could pave the way so that I can apologize. 164 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:13,083 We are actually all supposed to have Sunday dinner tonight, so maybe 165 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:16,339 I could go around and ask everyone if it's okay for you to join us. 166 00:08:17,659 --> 00:08:19,713 I knew I could count on you. 167 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,607 My beautiful boy. 168 00:08:21,732 --> 00:08:23,273 I love you so much. 169 00:08:23,605 --> 00:08:26,290 There's a fish in nature that swims around 170 00:08:26,415 --> 00:08:28,027 with its babies in its mouth. 171 00:08:28,152 --> 00:08:30,853 That fish would look at Mitchell's relationship with his mother and say, 172 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,204 "that's messed up." 173 00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:41,425 Boy... 174 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:46,250 Things with your mom got pretty intense down there, huh? 175 00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:49,473 All like east coast/west coast. You feelin' me? 176 00:08:49,599 --> 00:08:52,000 Act like a parent, talk like a peer. 177 00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:53,777 I call it "peerenting." 178 00:08:54,112 --> 00:08:56,898 I learned it from my own dad who used to walk into my room and say, 179 00:08:57,023 --> 00:08:58,625 "what's up, sweathog?" 180 00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:00,875 Honey... 181 00:09:01,472 --> 00:09:03,377 I would love to let you go to the concert. 182 00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,770 Are you kidding me? I think concerts are rad. 183 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:08,309 - Hello! I was a Hall-raiser. - A what? 184 00:09:08,486 --> 00:09:10,907 I followed Hall & Oates around the country one summer. 185 00:09:11,253 --> 00:09:14,246 "Rich Girl" just spoke to me. I was dating this girl. 186 00:09:15,445 --> 00:09:18,421 Not dating. I guess I was following her, too, kind of. 187 00:09:18,782 --> 00:09:21,344 Mom just doesn't trust me, and it's not fair. 188 00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:24,723 She trusts you. It's just that weird stuff happens at concerts. 189 00:09:24,848 --> 00:09:26,062 Boys get urges. 190 00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:30,286 - Dad, is there something you want? - Yes, there is. 191 00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:33,720 To connect with this girl right here. Come on. Pretend I'm not your dad. 192 00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:36,082 We're just a couple of friends kickin' it in a juice bar. 193 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,004 - What's a juice bar? - Okay, a malt shop, whatever. 194 00:09:39,172 --> 00:09:40,841 - Dad, I don't... - Who's dad? 195 00:09:41,011 --> 00:09:43,137 Who's dad? I'm Marcus 196 00:09:43,307 --> 00:09:44,568 from biology. 197 00:09:45,422 --> 00:09:47,937 How's it going with you and Dylan? Has he tried anything 198 00:09:48,062 --> 00:09:50,501 inappropriate with you... girl? 199 00:09:54,301 --> 00:09:57,855 No, nothing. Just talking to some dork I met in a malt shop. 200 00:10:01,294 --> 00:10:03,096 Hey, Mitchell. What's up? 201 00:10:03,493 --> 00:10:04,744 Just in the hood. 202 00:10:05,011 --> 00:10:08,540 Do you remember how mom gave up a career to raise us? 203 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:10,243 Promising career. 204 00:10:10,649 --> 00:10:11,701 Oh, God. 205 00:10:13,164 --> 00:10:13,965 Mom. 206 00:10:15,496 --> 00:10:16,952 Why so long? 207 00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:20,271 I know, it's weird when we haven't talked for a while. 208 00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:21,775 I mean your hair. 209 00:10:23,128 --> 00:10:25,244 Well, if I can't tell you, who will? 210 00:10:25,369 --> 00:10:28,353 So, mom wants you to know that she's very sorry 211 00:10:28,521 --> 00:10:32,476 about the incident and she wants us to forgive her. 212 00:10:33,027 --> 00:10:34,908 Very nice of her to say that through you. 213 00:10:36,078 --> 00:10:37,187 Do you see? 214 00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:39,702 The sarcasm is so hurtful... 215 00:10:39,827 --> 00:10:40,928 Like a whip. 216 00:10:41,387 --> 00:10:43,953 You know how growing up, we all have that voice inside our head 217 00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,430 that tells us we're not good enough? 218 00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:50,264 Well, mine was outside my head, driving me to school. 219 00:10:50,899 --> 00:10:54,083 So, anyway, mom really wants to smooth everything over with dad and Gloria, 220 00:10:54,322 --> 00:10:56,497 so I was thinking, would it be okay 221 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,275 if she maybe joined us for dinner tonight? 222 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,837 Because it may be the last time you ever see me. 223 00:11:02,154 --> 00:11:05,218 - Well... - Wait. What are you talking about? 224 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:08,182 I'm moving 225 00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:11,063 to a far and dangerous place. 226 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:14,738 Canada, but she met a man named Chas. 227 00:11:15,359 --> 00:11:18,745 - He's a logger. - Like a lumberjack? 228 00:11:18,915 --> 00:11:21,960 No, he logs blood samples into a cholesterol study. 229 00:11:22,477 --> 00:11:25,674 Anyway, until I'm past this whole wedding debacle, 230 00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:27,802 I can't be intimate with him. 231 00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:29,684 We do things to each other. 232 00:11:29,852 --> 00:11:31,203 We use our hands. 233 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,441 Hey, nana. 234 00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:35,571 My little comet. 235 00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:38,326 Look at you. You're all grown up. 236 00:11:39,047 --> 00:11:42,167 Tell mom that. She won't even let me go to a concert. 237 00:11:42,488 --> 00:11:44,440 Overnight with her boyfriend. 238 00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:49,451 What are you laughing at? 239 00:11:49,992 --> 00:11:52,444 Karma's a funny thing, that's all. 240 00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,676 - Remember Ricky? - Oh, God. 241 00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:58,115 - Who's Ricky? - No one. 242 00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:00,370 Ricky was your mother's boyfriend, 243 00:12:00,495 --> 00:12:02,457 and he looked like Charles Manson. 244 00:12:02,803 --> 00:12:05,965 And one night, she didn't come home until 4:00 in the morning. 245 00:12:06,497 --> 00:12:07,657 4:00? Wow. 246 00:12:08,132 --> 00:12:11,183 - Mom, what were you and Ricky doing? - Nothing. 247 00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:13,549 We were doing nothing, and he was a very sweet boy, 248 00:12:13,675 --> 00:12:15,985 which you might have known if you bothered to get to know him. 249 00:12:16,275 --> 00:12:20,095 - Dylan's a sweet boy. - Dylan is no Ricky. 250 00:12:21,265 --> 00:12:22,604 Ricky was a poet. 251 00:12:22,729 --> 00:12:25,259 Dylan writes songs. Awesome songs. 252 00:12:25,384 --> 00:12:29,094 And maybe you would know that if you "bothered to get to know him." 253 00:12:31,592 --> 00:12:34,271 Okay, first of all, I am not my mother. 254 00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:37,235 I don't judge people before 255 00:12:37,403 --> 00:12:39,305 I get a chance to know them. 256 00:12:39,807 --> 00:12:41,745 So you invite Dylan over to dinner tonight, 257 00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:45,139 and if he's as sweet and as kind as you say he is, 258 00:12:45,317 --> 00:12:47,923 then I have no problem considering 259 00:12:48,093 --> 00:12:50,386 letting you go to the concert after 260 00:12:50,554 --> 00:12:52,557 I do a background check on uncle Tobey. 261 00:12:52,726 --> 00:12:54,379 Thank you, thank you, mom. 262 00:12:54,914 --> 00:12:56,515 I'm gonna go call him. 263 00:12:59,308 --> 00:13:02,535 - That's very revealing. - That's my parenting style. 264 00:13:02,706 --> 00:13:04,122 I meant your blouse. 265 00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:06,783 - Mom. - Claire, wait. 266 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,130 Not making this easy. 267 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,016 Claire, come on. Stop, stop, stop. 268 00:13:12,141 --> 00:13:15,428 Just let her come to dinner, apologize to dad and Gloria, 269 00:13:15,553 --> 00:13:18,052 and she and Chas can live happily ever after. 270 00:13:18,177 --> 00:13:19,612 - In Canada. - In Canada. 271 00:13:20,978 --> 00:13:24,580 Wait, why don't you make her fix this instead of you doing it, as usual? 272 00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:27,083 - What's that supposed to mean? - Mom makes a mess, 273 00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:31,018 - and there's Mitchell to clean it up. - That is so not true. 274 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:34,407 If anything, you're the one with the screwed-up relationship with mommy... 275 00:13:34,532 --> 00:13:36,378 - With... with mom. - "Mommy"? 276 00:13:36,503 --> 00:13:38,606 I didn't say it... Damn it. 277 00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:41,868 Fine, she can come, but she's got to clear it with daddy. 278 00:13:41,993 --> 00:13:44,620 - I did not say "daddy." - You said "daddy." 279 00:13:46,991 --> 00:13:47,942 Hey, dad. 280 00:13:48,067 --> 00:13:49,743 Mitchell, what are you doing here? 281 00:13:49,868 --> 00:13:52,872 I'm sorry to bother you. Could I talk to you and Gloria for a second? 282 00:13:52,997 --> 00:13:56,686 She's out dealing with a Manny situation. He set a kid's bike on fire. 283 00:13:57,292 --> 00:13:58,093 Why? 284 00:13:58,342 --> 00:14:02,350 I might have told him to get even with some kids, he went all Rambo with it. 285 00:14:04,063 --> 00:14:07,171 - Not my best parenting moment. - Not your worst. 286 00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:08,297 What's up? 287 00:14:08,772 --> 00:14:10,504 Well, you know, mom's in town. 288 00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,571 - Your mom? - No. No, your mom. 289 00:14:12,696 --> 00:14:14,512 She's back from the grave. Yes, my mom. 290 00:14:14,683 --> 00:14:16,532 My mom would be less scary. 291 00:14:17,019 --> 00:14:19,212 She's a wreck about what happened at the wedding, 292 00:14:19,337 --> 00:14:21,653 and she wants to come to dinner tonight to apologize. 293 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,782 Still her little errand boy, I see. 294 00:14:24,099 --> 00:14:26,523 Why does everybody keep say... no. 295 00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:30,470 I'm just trying to piece this family back together. 296 00:14:30,596 --> 00:14:32,758 You'll talk to Gloria about mom coming to dinner? 297 00:14:32,927 --> 00:14:35,973 Gloria would never go for that. She's still furious with your mother, 298 00:14:36,426 --> 00:14:38,485 which is why I'm not talking to you. 299 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,983 - What did I do? - This conversation never took place. 300 00:14:41,418 --> 00:14:45,199 - Not very nice. I drove the way here. - No, you didn't. You never even called. 301 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,921 I would have called, but I thought it would be better to talk... 302 00:14:48,046 --> 00:14:50,398 - What's happening here? - Listen... 303 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:54,067 I would love to get this thing behind us, 304 00:14:54,608 --> 00:14:57,455 but Gloria would never forgive me if I pulled a fast one on her. 305 00:14:57,581 --> 00:14:58,475 That's why 306 00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:02,358 you're going to pull a fast one on her, and I'm not going to like it one bit. 307 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,864 Okay, that's just great. So it's all up to me. 308 00:15:05,149 --> 00:15:07,870 I can't hear you because you're back home and I'm taking a nap. 309 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,355 D-Money. There he is. 310 00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:17,994 Come on in. 311 00:15:18,586 --> 00:15:20,464 - How you doing? - Good. 312 00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:24,319 - Hey, everybody, this is Dylan. - Hey. 313 00:15:26,913 --> 00:15:29,550 He has a very gentle soul. 314 00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:31,716 You got that from "hey"? 315 00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:35,862 - I see you brought the ax. - Yeah, I just came from practice. 316 00:15:35,987 --> 00:15:37,679 Sweet. Miss those days. 317 00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:40,487 - You were in a band? - Could have been, but in high school, 318 00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:42,845 I was really all about my magic, so... 319 00:15:42,970 --> 00:15:44,021 Oh, my God. 320 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,166 That's gonna be dad and Gloria. 321 00:15:48,503 --> 00:15:50,329 I know it's silly, but... 322 00:15:50,675 --> 00:15:51,938 I'm a little nervous. 323 00:15:52,063 --> 00:15:54,616 Oh, no. That's not silly. You should be. 324 00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:58,147 How are you? 325 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,335 - Nice mustache. - Thank you. 326 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,379 Don't make fun. He may burn your house down. 327 00:16:06,734 --> 00:16:08,091 - Oh, boy. - De. 328 00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:10,202 Hi, Jay. Gloria. 329 00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:11,914 What is she doing here? 330 00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:14,315 What does she mean, "what is she doing here?" 331 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,534 - Mitchell told you I'd be here. - Lies! 332 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:18,791 I couldn't tell her because she wouldn't come. 333 00:16:18,916 --> 00:16:21,433 Gloria, my mom wants to apologize for everything. 334 00:16:21,602 --> 00:16:24,982 You just spring it on Gloria like this? What the hell is wrong with you? 335 00:16:25,396 --> 00:16:27,909 - I don't want her apologies. - Who could blame you, honey? 336 00:16:28,034 --> 00:16:30,475 Which is why this is a terrible idea by you! 337 00:16:30,601 --> 00:16:32,356 Jay, Manny, let's go. 338 00:16:33,251 --> 00:16:34,185 Wait, Gloria. 339 00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:36,767 I just want to tell you 340 00:16:37,424 --> 00:16:39,260 how sorry I am for ruing your wedding. 341 00:16:39,787 --> 00:16:43,393 I was struggling with being alone. 342 00:16:43,679 --> 00:16:46,274 Meanwhile, Jay moves on so easily. 343 00:16:46,553 --> 00:16:48,685 And not with just anyone. 344 00:16:49,123 --> 00:16:51,111 With a... 345 00:16:52,181 --> 00:16:55,167 Young and smart and beautiful woman. 346 00:16:55,442 --> 00:16:57,546 I don't expect to forgive me. 347 00:16:58,527 --> 00:16:59,593 If I were you, 348 00:16:59,761 --> 00:17:02,056 I'd want to punch me right in the mouth. 349 00:17:10,027 --> 00:17:12,260 I think we've had enough revenge 350 00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:14,163 in this family for one day. 351 00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,547 You see? We're all gonna move past this. 352 00:17:18,717 --> 00:17:20,509 Because of me, who's not a ma's boy, 353 00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:24,015 but is a caring person with wisdom and emotional insight, 354 00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:25,732 so make a note, bitches. 355 00:17:25,857 --> 00:17:27,909 That's not a good color on you. 356 00:17:28,358 --> 00:17:29,692 I forgive you. 357 00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:36,166 I am not prepared for this. 358 00:17:37,149 --> 00:17:38,100 I just... 359 00:17:38,532 --> 00:17:40,759 I want to rip your head off! 360 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,042 You ruined my wedding! 361 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,532 I got Gloria! 362 00:17:48,846 --> 00:17:49,880 I got Gloria! 363 00:17:51,824 --> 00:17:53,045 I got Gloria. 364 00:17:55,888 --> 00:17:57,745 Stand up like a big girl. Come on. 365 00:17:57,870 --> 00:18:00,506 All right, all right, all right. Stop it, stop it, stop it, 366 00:18:00,676 --> 00:18:01,927 the two of you! 367 00:18:02,219 --> 00:18:04,514 - I am so sorry about this. - No, it's cool. 368 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,787 This is ridiculous. Gloria didn't steal me, De, and you know it. 369 00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:12,656 We grew apart for years. And you left to find yourself, remember? 370 00:18:13,143 --> 00:18:16,538 I thought I could handle this. I'm so sorry. 371 00:18:16,707 --> 00:18:19,825 You don't say "sorry" anymore! That word means nothing in your mouth! 372 00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:21,101 I got Gloria. 373 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,238 I don't know what just happened. 374 00:18:25,363 --> 00:18:26,207 I do. 375 00:18:28,579 --> 00:18:31,391 I mean, it seems pretty simple to me. 376 00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:35,307 You're reaching out, trying to hold on to something awesome. 377 00:18:35,432 --> 00:18:37,201 Maybe... Maybe you shouldn't... 378 00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:41,137 Look, I'm not used to this, the whole big-family thing. 379 00:18:41,262 --> 00:18:44,115 In my house, we don't even talk to each other. 380 00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:47,642 You know, it's funny. The first time I saw Haley, 381 00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:49,046 I knew I liked her. 382 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:52,192 I mean, she's beautiful and everything, but it's not just that. 383 00:18:52,317 --> 00:18:55,564 It's that she's got this killer confidence. 384 00:18:57,037 --> 00:19:00,660 The kind of confidence that you get from having a family like this, 385 00:19:00,838 --> 00:19:04,679 that's passionate and accepting of 386 00:19:05,419 --> 00:19:06,905 hot foreigners 387 00:19:07,516 --> 00:19:08,768 and gay dudes 388 00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,692 and nutty people. 389 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,233 You know, 390 00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:15,435 a family that actually loves each other. 391 00:19:16,953 --> 00:19:18,957 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, 392 00:19:19,082 --> 00:19:21,310 but maybe we should let her go with him. 393 00:19:21,435 --> 00:19:22,700 He's perfect. 394 00:19:24,805 --> 00:19:28,353 Everybody, haley says that Dylan is a musician, 395 00:19:28,614 --> 00:19:30,851 and he writes some great songs. 396 00:19:31,842 --> 00:19:33,416 Play something, bro. 397 00:19:33,541 --> 00:19:37,194 - Well, I guess so, if you want me to. - We could all use a nice tune. 398 00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:40,549 This is actually a song I wrote for Haley. 399 00:19:40,855 --> 00:19:42,334 It's called "In The Moonlight." 400 00:19:42,569 --> 00:19:44,715 - Lovely title, Dylan. - Thanks. 401 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,561 The stars are falling from the sky 402 00:19:52,406 --> 00:19:56,414 And you're the reason why 403 00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:03,209 The moon is shining on your face 404 00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:07,876 'Cause it finally feels 405 00:20:08,001 --> 00:20:10,462 It's found its place 406 00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:13,439 'Cause, baby, baby, 407 00:20:13,565 --> 00:20:16,566 I just want to do you, do you 408 00:20:16,691 --> 00:20:19,653 Do you want to do me, do me 409 00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:23,041 Underneath the moonlight, the moonlight 410 00:20:23,725 --> 00:20:25,709 Baby, baby, 411 00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:28,690 Maybe I will steal you, steal you 412 00:20:29,388 --> 00:20:31,684 Just so I can feel you, feel you 413 00:20:31,853 --> 00:20:34,188 Maybe that would heal you, heal you 414 00:20:34,356 --> 00:20:36,576 On the inside 415 00:20:38,597 --> 00:20:40,048 She's so not going. 416 00:20:40,271 --> 00:20:41,823 Not a chance in hell. 417 00:20:43,969 --> 00:20:47,285 They don't seem to mind 418 00:20:47,787 --> 00:20:51,264 The moon is shining on your face 419 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:54,855 And it finally feels it's 420 00:20:55,023 --> 00:20:57,986 Found its place 'cause 421 00:20:58,154 --> 00:21:00,349 Baby, baby, 422 00:21:00,586 --> 00:21:03,121 I just want to do you, do you 423 00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:06,859 Baby, you can do me, do me 424 00:21:06,984 --> 00:21:09,843 Man, I will do you, do you 425 00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:13,078 Maybe it would heal you, heal you 426 00:21:13,203 --> 00:21:15,338 From the inside 427 00:21:21,297 --> 00:21:23,533 - Never good at harmonizing. - That was good.