1 00:00:05,299 --> 00:00:08,177 Okay, your brother's lunch is packed. You're buying your own lunch. 2 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:10,304 Luke, Alex, come on. Let's go. 3 00:00:10,387 --> 00:00:13,390 There he is. Last chance for the summer handshake. 4 00:00:16,935 --> 00:00:18,687 Dad. 5 00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:20,439 Come on. We're only halfway done. 6 00:00:20,522 --> 00:00:22,191 I need help. 7 00:00:22,274 --> 00:00:25,110 I was supposed to keep a journal all summer. It's due today. 8 00:00:25,194 --> 00:00:28,071 Wow, first day of school and you're already behind? 9 00:00:28,197 --> 00:00:31,408 I'm dead. All right. Tell me how far you've gotten. 10 00:00:31,491 --> 00:00:33,160 Okay. 11 00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:36,330 - "June 21. Found a stick." - Mmm. 12 00:00:36,413 --> 00:00:39,124 "June 22." That's it. 13 00:00:39,208 --> 00:00:42,127 That's it? It was a really cool stick. 14 00:00:42,211 --> 00:00:44,630 He's right. It looked like a snake. 15 00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:47,549 Getting everybody out of the house in the morning can be really tough, 16 00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:49,384 especially the first day of school. 17 00:00:49,468 --> 00:00:53,138 From the minute we get up at 7:00 till we drop 'em off at school, it is go, go, go. 18 00:00:53,263 --> 00:00:55,641 I get up at 6:00. 19 00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:57,643 I get up at 5:00. 20 00:00:57,726 --> 00:01:00,145 Seriously. I get up at 6:00. 21 00:01:00,229 --> 00:01:02,648 That's you? I thought we had a raccoon. 22 00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:06,652 I can't believe my little boy is going into the fifth grade. 23 00:01:06,735 --> 00:01:11,448 He used to hold my finger with his little hand and look at me with those big eyes. 24 00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:13,575 Mi niño pequeño, Jay. 25 00:01:13,659 --> 00:01:15,577 Yup, they grow up. 26 00:01:15,661 --> 00:01:18,830 Come on, Manny. Let's get going. 27 00:01:19,831 --> 00:01:22,251 How's my hair? 28 00:01:22,334 --> 00:01:24,753 Hold on. What are you wearing there? 29 00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:26,922 That looks like an old Christmas tree skirt. 30 00:01:27,005 --> 00:01:29,091 It's a traditional Colombian poncho. 31 00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:32,427 I want my new classmates to know I'm proud of my heritage. 32 00:01:32,511 --> 00:01:36,056 I think you look very handsome. Lindo. 33 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,518 Oh, really? Am I driving him to school or is he gonna ride his burro? 34 00:01:41,395 --> 00:01:44,106 ? You are a cutie pie Yes, you are? 35 00:01:44,189 --> 00:01:45,816 ? You are a cutie pie? 36 00:01:45,899 --> 00:01:47,567 Are you still baby-proofing? 37 00:01:47,651 --> 00:01:49,486 Everything we own is pointy. 38 00:01:49,569 --> 00:01:52,114 Why is our daughter dressed like Donna Summer? 39 00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:55,784 She is not Donna Summer. Clearly she's Diana Ross from the R.C.A. years. 40 00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:57,786 How is Daddy not seeing that? 41 00:01:57,869 --> 00:02:01,415 - I really thought you were done with this. - I made no such promises. 42 00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:05,043 I guess I'm somewhat of a shutterbug. Yes. 43 00:02:05,127 --> 00:02:08,297 And my new favorite model, of course, is Lily. 44 00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:12,301 I just completed a series of photographs of her dressed as various pop icons. 45 00:02:12,384 --> 00:02:15,178 Let's see. I've done Olivia Newton-John. 46 00:02:15,262 --> 00:02:18,181 I've done Madonna, the early years, 47 00:02:18,265 --> 00:02:20,517 Stevie Wonder- 48 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,146 Yeah, there are days when Lily has more costume changes than Cher. 49 00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:26,565 Cher! How could I forget Cher? That's embarrassing. 50 00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:29,192 That's embarrassing? 51 00:02:29,276 --> 00:02:31,320 ? Hey, hey? 52 00:02:31,403 --> 00:02:35,490 ? Hey, hey Hey, hey? 53 00:02:35,574 --> 00:02:38,869 ? Hey, hey Hey? 54 00:02:43,999 --> 00:02:45,625 Honey, you moving out? 55 00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:47,586 Five more years. 56 00:02:47,711 --> 00:02:50,922 A little help here? This is why we suggested the violin. 57 00:02:51,006 --> 00:02:54,051 A cello is more in demand in university orchestras. 58 00:02:54,176 --> 00:02:55,802 You know what's not in demand? Oh, what? 59 00:02:55,927 --> 00:02:57,512 Girls who play in university orchestras. Ha, ha, ha. 60 00:02:57,637 --> 00:02:59,848 Here, I'll help you carry it out to the curb. Okay. Here. 61 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:01,600 Phil, put on some pants. 62 00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:04,353 Come on! This covers up more than my bathing suit. 63 00:03:04,436 --> 00:03:06,688 And don't remind me. Haley, honey- 64 00:03:06,772 --> 00:03:08,940 Don't forget, the driving instructor is picking you up from school. 65 00:03:09,024 --> 00:03:10,942 Can't he pick me up someplace else? 66 00:03:11,026 --> 00:03:12,944 I don't want kids at school thinking I'm dating... 67 00:03:13,028 --> 00:03:14,905 a 40-year-old driving instructor who's not even cute. 68 00:03:14,988 --> 00:03:16,907 Haley just got her learner's permit. 69 00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:19,242 We've been taking turns driving with her. 70 00:03:19,326 --> 00:03:23,038 One of the really standard rules of the road... 71 00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:26,416 is we want to keep a safe distance between us and the car in front. 72 00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:28,960 And that is not safe right there. Not safe. Right. 73 00:03:29,086 --> 00:03:30,962 Okay, merge. I- 74 00:03:31,088 --> 00:03:33,215 Merge. Merge! 75 00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:35,258 Merge! Merge! Merge! Stop it! You're freaking me out! 76 00:03:35,342 --> 00:03:38,553 This navigation system is all messed up. 77 00:03:38,637 --> 00:03:40,555 It thinks we're in a park. 78 00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:42,516 Oh, my God! It is a park! 79 00:03:42,641 --> 00:03:45,310 Away from the kids! Aim for the lake! Oh, my God! 80 00:03:46,645 --> 00:03:49,981 Makes you realize we're all just hanging by a thread. 81 00:03:51,483 --> 00:03:53,902 The last thing Manny needs on his first day of school... 82 00:03:53,985 --> 00:03:56,113 is you "undermelting" his confidence. 83 00:03:56,196 --> 00:03:58,323 - Undermining. - Now you're doing it to me too. 84 00:03:58,407 --> 00:04:01,701 I'm sorry, but there's only two places anyone should wear a poncho- 85 00:04:01,785 --> 00:04:04,204 Niagara Falls and log rides. 86 00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,206 You think too much about these things. 87 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,625 I wear all sort of daring outfits all the time, 88 00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:11,420 and people admire them because I wear them with the confidence. 89 00:04:11,545 --> 00:04:15,632 Yeah, I'm sure it's the confidence they're admiring. 90 00:04:15,715 --> 00:04:18,844 I just- I just think it's a little over-the-top. 91 00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:21,096 You know what? You need to loosen up and have fun. 92 00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:24,099 I am loose. I'm fun. Remember, uh, breakfast for dinner last week? 93 00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:26,101 My idea. 94 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:28,770 Ever since we brought Lily home, you've been tense. 95 00:04:28,854 --> 00:04:31,773 All you do is put child locks on things, read parenting books. 96 00:04:31,857 --> 00:04:34,234 Would you please stop and- Here, just hold your daughter. 97 00:04:34,359 --> 00:04:37,612 Hold her and relax. All right, sweetheart, come on. 98 00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:39,698 Just relax. Aw, sweetheart. 99 00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:42,075 Ohh. Did you put hair spray on this? 100 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,203 Just a little bit. I'm gonna put some music on. Cam, I have to go to work. 101 00:04:45,287 --> 00:04:47,205 Dance with her. Put a little boogie in it. 102 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,124 Oh, come on. 103 00:04:49,207 --> 00:04:52,043 Just dance. You know you love this song. 104 00:04:52,127 --> 00:04:55,046 This is actually a really good song. All right. Okay. 105 00:04:55,130 --> 00:04:59,134 - Who's a dancing queen, huh? 106 00:04:59,217 --> 00:05:03,388 Put a little boogie in it. See? Fun, right? 107 00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:05,098 Oh, my- Was that her head? 108 00:05:05,223 --> 00:05:08,185 No, I think if it was her head, she would be- 109 00:05:08,268 --> 00:05:11,021 Yeah, it was her head. Okay. Okay. 110 00:05:14,191 --> 00:05:16,943 Yes. Yes, I know. 111 00:05:17,027 --> 00:05:19,404 I got Boo-boo Bear from the freezer. 112 00:05:19,529 --> 00:05:22,407 Why do you have chocolate on your face? It was under a pie. 113 00:05:22,532 --> 00:05:25,285 So you ate your way to it? I made a judgment call. You weren't there. 114 00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:28,330 Do you think she's all right? She didn't cry that much. 115 00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:31,291 Maybe that's a bad sign. You know, we should try and make her laugh. 116 00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:34,794 Why? That's how we'll know she's okay. Where's Doggy? 117 00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:37,088 Doggy. Doggy. Here, Doggy. 118 00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:40,091 There you go. 119 00:05:40,175 --> 00:05:42,093 Moo! 120 00:05:42,177 --> 00:05:44,721 - But it's a dog. - I know. That's why it's funny. 121 00:05:44,846 --> 00:05:47,057 Moo. I don't think it's as funny as you think it is. 122 00:05:47,182 --> 00:05:49,267 Can we please just call your sister? No, no. Cam- Cam- 123 00:05:49,351 --> 00:05:51,269 Why? So she can be all judgmental and condescending, 124 00:05:51,353 --> 00:05:54,105 like she's the expert and I don't know how to take care of a baby? 125 00:05:54,189 --> 00:05:56,566 Mitchell, she is your family. 126 00:05:56,691 --> 00:06:00,111 Of course she's gonna be judgmental and condescending. 127 00:06:00,237 --> 00:06:01,655 Hello? 128 00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:04,741 Hey, hi, um- Not a big deal. Just wondering. 129 00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:07,285 When your kids were small, did you ever- 130 00:06:07,369 --> 00:06:09,287 I don't know- smack their heads into a wall? 131 00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:11,248 Usually we just gave time-outs. 132 00:06:11,331 --> 00:06:15,252 No, no, accidentally. Um, we just kind of bonked Lily's head. 133 00:06:15,335 --> 00:06:19,256 It wasn't very hard and she's not acting any differently, but I just worry- 134 00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:21,258 Relax. It happens. 135 00:06:21,341 --> 00:06:24,386 Luke used to bang his head all the time and he's fine. 136 00:06:24,469 --> 00:06:27,389 Okay, all right, thank you. Thanks. That helps. Okay, okay. 137 00:06:27,472 --> 00:06:30,642 We gotta take her to the doctor. Load up the car. 138 00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:35,480 - Gloria? - I'm here. 139 00:06:35,564 --> 00:06:40,402 I, uh, just dropped Manny off at school, and I realized... 140 00:06:40,485 --> 00:06:42,654 I just dropped Manny off at school. 141 00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:44,489 Oh, boy. 142 00:06:44,573 --> 00:06:49,035 And I was hoping we'd still have a few more good years before the mind started to go. 143 00:06:49,119 --> 00:06:52,789 No, what I'm saying, we have the day to ourselves, the first time in months. 144 00:06:52,872 --> 00:06:55,000 We should take advantage of it. 145 00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:59,296 Go to the club, nice lunch, some massages. 146 00:06:59,421 --> 00:07:02,048 What about work? I'm the boss. 147 00:07:02,132 --> 00:07:05,885 Since I married you, people are surprised I come in at all. 148 00:07:05,969 --> 00:07:09,389 Jay's very spontaneous. 149 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:13,393 He's always surprising me with little presents, fun getaways. 150 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:17,689 I wasn't the greatest husband the first time around, but I'm trying to do better this time. 151 00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:20,775 And maybe by my third marriage, I'll have it down pat. 152 00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:25,530 Yeah, that one's gonna cost me. 153 00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:32,621 What ya reading there? A book? 154 00:07:32,704 --> 00:07:34,789 Yeah. I've been meaning to get to it for a while. 155 00:07:34,873 --> 00:07:37,500 Ooh, it's got a map at the beginning. I like it when books do that. 156 00:07:37,584 --> 00:07:40,170 Mm-hmm. 157 00:07:40,295 --> 00:07:43,298 Don't you have an open house this morning? I rescheduled. 158 00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,383 Thought you might like some company. 159 00:07:47,677 --> 00:07:50,847 Well, the first day of school can be tough for stay-at-home moms. 160 00:07:50,930 --> 00:07:54,059 Now, you have to understand, the kids are gone, the nest is empty. 161 00:07:54,142 --> 00:07:56,645 They are rudderless. 162 00:07:56,728 --> 00:08:01,983 And a lot of guys wouldn't even notice, but I'm not a lot of guys. 163 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,985 I listen with my mind, 164 00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:06,988 and if you pay attention, women will tell you what they want... 165 00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:09,991 by telling you the opposite of what they want. 166 00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:12,994 The other day, Claire was, like, "You have to move your car. 167 00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:15,997 There's no space in the garage for both of our cars." 168 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:19,918 And what she's really saying is that, you know, I should probably get a sports car. 169 00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:24,047 I was sort of looking forward to a quiet day. 170 00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:27,759 Thought I'd just read, maybe go for a run later, that's it. 171 00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:29,552 Great. We'll run together. 172 00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:32,305 You don't have to do that. 173 00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:34,724 I know. 174 00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:40,522 Listening. 175 00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:43,233 The thing is, I like to run alone. 176 00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:45,318 And I run kinda fast, so- 177 00:08:45,443 --> 00:08:48,655 So? So I'm not sure you're gonna be able to keep up with me. 178 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,951 You're kid- You're kidding, right? 179 00:08:53,076 --> 00:08:55,161 No. You really think I can't keep up with you? 180 00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:57,455 I'm not sure you can keep up with this conversation. 181 00:08:57,539 --> 00:08:59,457 I think you're forgetting that I power-walk every morning... 182 00:08:59,541 --> 00:09:01,668 and that I wear my special shoes with the big soles, 183 00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,670 which were designed by a doctor. 184 00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:08,216 Yes, I know. But I run every day. 185 00:09:08,299 --> 00:09:10,844 You really think you can run as fast as me? 186 00:09:10,927 --> 00:09:16,766 No, Phil, I think I can run much, much faster... than you. 187 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:24,074 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 188 00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:29,571 Boom. Just like that, the whole day changed. 189 00:09:29,654 --> 00:09:33,450 It was game on. She knew it. I knew it. We both knew it. 190 00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:36,661 I just wanna read. 191 00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:39,622 I think I'll order what I had the last time. What was that called? 192 00:09:39,748 --> 00:09:42,709 You want me to say it because you want me to roll my R's. Come on! 193 00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:45,170 Reuben. 194 00:09:47,589 --> 00:09:50,633 - Jay, what is this? - Oh, looks like my old car cover. 195 00:09:50,717 --> 00:09:53,678 Don't give me that. This is Manny's poncho. What is it doing here? 196 00:09:53,762 --> 00:09:57,557 - Maybe he decided to take it off on the way to school. - What did you say to him? 197 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,309 Nothing. I... told some jokes. 198 00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:01,686 You say plenty with your jokes. 199 00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:04,981 Jay, he looks up to you. He respects your opinion. 200 00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:08,109 We dodged a bullet on this. Trust me. I've been down this road before. 201 00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:12,405 I remember one time Mitchell decided to wear a jaunty scarf to school. 202 00:10:12,489 --> 00:10:16,242 I kept my mouth shut. He got his jaunty butt kicked. 203 00:10:16,326 --> 00:10:20,622 My dad has this perception that I was very flamboyant as a kid, which is just- it's nonsense, 204 00:10:20,705 --> 00:10:22,749 because I kept the whole gay thing very under wraps. 205 00:10:22,832 --> 00:10:25,502 You know, I was just a guy's guy. 206 00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,462 I was basically a jock. 207 00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:29,339 You know? 208 00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:32,300 So we should crush Manny's spirit... 209 00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:34,844 and destroy everything that makes him who he is. 210 00:10:34,928 --> 00:10:38,348 I'm just saying, it's no fun to see your kid get picked on every day, 211 00:10:38,431 --> 00:10:40,850 getting tormented just because he's different. 212 00:10:40,934 --> 00:10:43,019 I'm telling you, it rips your heart out. 213 00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:46,689 Well, Batman doesn't get picked on and he wears a cape. 214 00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:49,692 A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around. 215 00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:52,487 Batman doesn't get picked on because he's a muscular genius. 216 00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:54,864 Manny can't make it to the top bunk. 217 00:10:54,948 --> 00:10:59,285 We're taking this poncho to Manny at school. It's important that he knows we support him. 218 00:11:00,745 --> 00:11:03,873 And then we go get those massages, because that sounds good. 219 00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:13,508 I always take the stairs two at a time. I don't even think about it anymore. 220 00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,385 The regular way would seem weird. 221 00:11:15,468 --> 00:11:17,595 Phil, let it go. I'm faster than you. 222 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,765 If only there was some way we could settle this once and for all. 223 00:11:20,849 --> 00:11:22,851 But how? 224 00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:24,602 Huh. 225 00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:26,604 You seriously wanna race me? 226 00:11:26,688 --> 00:11:28,606 I ran a half-marathon last year. 227 00:11:28,690 --> 00:11:30,608 Wow. I'm half-scared. 228 00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:33,152 Okay, we do need to do this. I'll go change. 229 00:11:33,236 --> 00:11:36,030 Not now. I got a conference call. But how about after that? 230 00:11:36,114 --> 00:11:38,575 - Great. This afternoon. - Sweet. 231 00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:42,161 Two at a time, two at a ti- 232 00:11:42,245 --> 00:11:46,291 Son of a- Gotta fix that step! Two at a time! Already at the top, so- 233 00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:51,462 Hi, I'm Dr. Miura. I'm on call today. 234 00:11:51,546 --> 00:11:54,007 Looks like we have a little head bump. 235 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:56,384 Yeah, it happened a couple hours ago on a- on a doorjamb. 236 00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,678 Uh, ouch. 237 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,388 We used to do this thing in school... 238 00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:03,099 where they would give you an egg and you couldn't break it. 239 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:07,228 And it was supposed to teach you how hard it was to be a parent. 240 00:12:07,312 --> 00:12:11,524 But the real thing, I-it's so much harder. You know? 241 00:12:11,608 --> 00:12:14,903 We did that in my school too. Didn't turn out so well. 242 00:12:14,986 --> 00:12:16,863 I went through a dozen eggs. 243 00:12:16,946 --> 00:12:18,531 Yeah, well, he's a nervous eater. 244 00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:20,992 No, I broke a dozen eggs. Oh. 245 00:12:22,744 --> 00:12:24,662 I'm sorry. I just assumed that- 246 00:12:24,746 --> 00:12:26,414 I know. 247 00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:29,042 I know what you assumed. 248 00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:31,544 There doesn't seem to be any mark. 249 00:12:31,669 --> 00:12:34,756 Well, her head was somewhat protected. Protected? 250 00:12:34,839 --> 00:12:37,926 - Was she wearing a hat? - Yes, yes, like a hat. 251 00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:42,096 It was a wig, actually. Sort of a ghetto-fabulous Afro thing. 252 00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:44,098 I thought it might be medically relevant. 253 00:12:44,182 --> 00:12:48,061 Really? You thought "ghetto-fabulous" might be medically relevant? 254 00:12:48,186 --> 00:12:51,648 Maybe I should just finish with the exam. Yes, thanks. 255 00:12:51,731 --> 00:12:55,109 You'll be pleased to know that Mitchell and I intend on raising Lily... 256 00:12:55,193 --> 00:12:58,196 with influences from her Asian heritage. 257 00:12:58,279 --> 00:13:00,198 That is fantastic. 258 00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:02,951 Have you noticed any vomiting since the head bump? 259 00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:04,953 Uh, no. No, no, no. 260 00:13:05,036 --> 00:13:07,455 We've hung some art in her room. Some Asian art. 261 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:09,457 And then when she's ready for solid food, 262 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,459 there's a fantastic pho place... 263 00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:13,461 right around the corner from our house. 264 00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:18,257 Am I pronouncing that right? Is it pho? It's a soup. 265 00:13:18,341 --> 00:13:21,260 I don't know. I'm from Denver. 266 00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:24,681 We don't have a lot of pho there. 267 00:13:26,224 --> 00:13:30,353 Uh, just to be sure, could you show me how hard Lily got hit? 268 00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:32,438 And use your head. 269 00:13:32,522 --> 00:13:36,776 Um, yeah. Really, it was- it was just sorta, like, uh- 270 00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:40,822 You know? Could I see that again? 271 00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:43,533 Um, it was just- just a head bump, you know. 272 00:13:43,658 --> 00:13:45,994 How are you feeling? Uh, fine. 273 00:13:46,077 --> 00:13:47,996 So is Lily. 274 00:13:48,079 --> 00:13:50,999 Babies are designed to survive new parents, so stop worrying. 275 00:13:51,082 --> 00:13:52,750 You guys are doing great. 276 00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:56,170 Thank you. 277 00:13:56,254 --> 00:13:58,256 Denver. 278 00:14:09,809 --> 00:14:11,728 I don't see any ponchos, 279 00:14:11,811 --> 00:14:15,023 which means either the kids don't wear them or the ones who do wear them disappear. 280 00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:16,774 We're doing the right thing. 281 00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:19,235 I support Manny no matter what. 282 00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:23,072 Children need to know that you believe in them. It's the most important thing. 283 00:14:23,156 --> 00:14:26,868 If you tell them they have wings, they will believe they can fly. 284 00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:28,619 Oh, really? 285 00:14:28,703 --> 00:14:31,581 I had a buddy, went to Woodstock, believed he could fly. 286 00:14:31,664 --> 00:14:35,668 Didn't end great. It's why hotel windows don't open anymore. 287 00:14:37,170 --> 00:14:39,297 Is something wrong? Who's died? 288 00:14:39,422 --> 00:14:42,050 No one, Manny. Why would you even think that? 289 00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:45,428 In Colombia, Manny went to Pablo Escobar Elementary School. 290 00:14:45,511 --> 00:14:48,765 If you were pulled out of class, it was definitely to identify a body. 291 00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:50,516 Well, we got your poncho here. 292 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,186 I thought you said it made me look like my neck was wearing a dress. 293 00:14:53,311 --> 00:14:55,480 That was a joke. Oh, good! It's still in the pocket! 294 00:14:55,605 --> 00:14:57,732 What do you got there, buddy? My pan flute. 295 00:14:57,815 --> 00:15:00,693 I'm going to play some Colombian folk music for my new classmates. 296 00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:02,737 Huh. Great. 297 00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:05,239 I have never been more proud of you. 298 00:15:05,323 --> 00:15:07,825 I'm sure your friends are gonna love it. 299 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,577 Break the flute. What? 300 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,913 The poncho by itself is fine. 301 00:15:11,996 --> 00:15:17,835 The poncho, plus the flute, plus the stupid dance- my son will die a virgin. 302 00:15:17,919 --> 00:15:19,670 That's right. 303 00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:22,757 Hey, sport, can I take a look at that whistle? 304 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,510 Oh, geez. Look at that. 305 00:15:25,635 --> 00:15:27,762 And now you stepped on it! What? 306 00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,472 Oh, darn! 307 00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:32,225 What's wrong with me? 308 00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:35,311 Here, let me get it. Thank you. 309 00:15:35,436 --> 00:15:38,231 You know- Actually, maybe you should do this. Why? 310 00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:41,526 I don't want to bump her head against the door, you know, pinch her with the seat belt. 311 00:15:41,609 --> 00:15:43,986 Mitchell, how long are you gonna beat yourself up over one mistake? 312 00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:46,280 Is this going to be like the blond highlights all over again? 313 00:15:46,364 --> 00:15:49,283 I just- I think I suck at being a father. 314 00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:52,036 What are you talking about? We're new at this. 315 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,956 Yeah, but you're such a natural. I mean, look at you. 316 00:15:55,039 --> 00:15:57,125 You walk into the room and she lights up. 317 00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:59,418 Y-You change her diaper with one hand. I- 318 00:15:59,502 --> 00:16:01,629 Nice. I-I'm actually jealous of you. 319 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:04,549 There are so many things that you do that I can't. 320 00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,551 Y-You baby-proofed the entire house. 321 00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:08,803 You took care of all the adoption paperwork. 322 00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:11,806 Without you, we wouldn't even have a baby to injure. 323 00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:14,308 Just a couple of forms. Actually, that was a lot of paperwork. 324 00:16:14,392 --> 00:16:16,435 And you got her on all those preschool waiting lists. 325 00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:19,021 Can't believe you were gonna wait until she was "old enough." 326 00:16:19,105 --> 00:16:21,315 You see, that's what makes us a great team. 327 00:16:21,399 --> 00:16:23,568 We each have our own strengths. 328 00:16:23,651 --> 00:16:26,487 Now, who are amazing parents? 329 00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:28,281 We are. I can't hear you. 330 00:16:28,406 --> 00:16:30,491 We are! Don't you forget it. 331 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:32,577 Okay. 332 00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:38,124 Did we just lock our baby in the car? Did you put the keys in the bag? 333 00:16:38,249 --> 00:16:41,669 I put the keys in the bag. Oh, Mitchell, I told you not to put the keys in the bag! 334 00:16:41,794 --> 00:16:43,963 Come on! Don't freak out! Lily, it's okay! 335 00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:48,551 ? A-B-C-D-E-F-? What, are you singing to her? People get arrested for this. 336 00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:51,387 ? H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P? 337 00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:54,098 Do all four doors lock? Do you have a phone? 338 00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:56,475 What? 339 00:16:56,601 --> 00:16:58,227 I didn't say anything. 340 00:16:58,311 --> 00:17:00,104 Couldn't hear ya. I'm cranking one of my mash-ups. 341 00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:02,857 Ah. Hey, hey! 342 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:06,235 There they are. How was the first day back in prison? 343 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,946 Fine. Yep. 344 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,616 What are you guys doing? 345 00:17:11,699 --> 00:17:15,286 Your mom and I are racing to the mailbox on Sequoia and back. 346 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:18,206 - Why? - I don't know. 347 00:17:18,289 --> 00:17:20,791 Oh, she knows. Hey, buddy. Soon as I'm done... 348 00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:23,502 kicking a little Mom butt here, how about I school you in some Mario Kart? 349 00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,546 Can't. Gotta work on my journal. 350 00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,506 Lame! 351 00:17:27,632 --> 00:17:30,551 Hey, uh, Alex. You? Uh, I have a history paper. 352 00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:33,304 Well, if you wanna see a little history being made right here- 353 00:17:33,429 --> 00:17:34,889 Not really. Okay. 354 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,560 Ready? Are you? 355 00:17:39,644 --> 00:17:42,980 I was born ready. I came outta the womb wearing tiny little golden wings- 356 00:17:43,064 --> 00:17:44,774 Go! 357 00:17:46,192 --> 00:17:47,860 I'm breaking the window! 358 00:17:47,944 --> 00:17:49,570 Emergency assistance. This is Trina. 359 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:52,323 Help! We I- We locked our baby in the car and people are judging us! 360 00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,242 I swear to God, I'm gonna break it! 361 00:17:54,325 --> 00:17:56,035 Do not break the window! You'll get glass on her! 362 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,622 Please tell your wife to relax. Everything is going to be okay. That's a man. 363 00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:03,042 Really? Don't worry, Lily! Daddy's coming for you! 364 00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:06,420 Sir, we just sent the signal. The door should be unlocked now. Check- Check the door. 365 00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:09,340 Check the door. Check the door. It's not unlocked! 366 00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:11,342 Oh. Oh. Okay. 367 00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:14,303 That is amazing. How did they do that? 368 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:17,890 I don't know. It's just- We got it. Thank you. Did that come from space? 369 00:18:17,974 --> 00:18:22,103 I run five miles a day. I have a resting heart rate of48. 370 00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:26,399 There is no way I'm going to lose a two-mile race to Johnny Ski Pole. 371 00:18:29,652 --> 00:18:33,197 Saving my energy, drafting off of you. 372 00:18:34,532 --> 00:18:37,451 You feeling cocky? Yeah, I am. 373 00:18:37,535 --> 00:18:40,621 Love it. 374 00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:44,250 But after seeing that T-shirt, I realized something. 375 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:50,298 The first day of school is tough on all my kids, 376 00:18:50,381 --> 00:18:52,383 especially the one I married. 377 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:57,805 Boop-boop-boop! Afterburners engaged! 378 00:18:57,888 --> 00:19:01,225 Whoo! Don't choke on my smoke! 379 00:19:01,309 --> 00:19:03,477 And down the stretch he goes. 380 00:19:03,561 --> 00:19:05,980 I don't believe it! 381 00:19:06,063 --> 00:19:09,525 Daddy wins! Do you believe in miracles? 382 00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:11,819 U. S.A., U. S.- 383 00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:13,529 Oh, no! Oh, Jesus! 384 00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:17,825 Oh, my- What was that? Was that a person? 385 00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:19,952 I'm good! I'm good. Dad? 386 00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:22,830 Honey, are you okay? I'm good. Whoo! 387 00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:24,915 You're getting better, sweetheart. 388 00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:31,047 Did I lose the race to make him feel better? 389 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:32,882 Maybe. 390 00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:36,802 But it just seemed like he could use a win today. 391 00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:45,061 We do strange things for the people we love. 392 00:19:45,144 --> 00:19:48,272 We lie to them, we lie for them. 393 00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:57,114 There may be some bumps along the way, but we never stop wanting the best for them. 394 00:19:57,198 --> 00:20:00,618 That's what makes it such a tough job. 395 00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:05,122 Kind of the best job in the world. 396 00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:09,126 What are you doing? Turn your eyes on the road! 397 00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,295 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 398 00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,177 Okay. Okay. Uh-oh. 399 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,179 All right, sweetie, this happens. 400 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,139 Remain calm. That's the first thing. 401 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:25,142 Pull over right here. I'll get out the registration. Mom, I don't like cops. 402 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,770 Pull over right there. I don't like cops. I can't pull over. 403 00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,606 You need to pull over! No can do. No can do! 404 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,608 Phil! I got priors. 405 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:36,737 Parking ticket from the mall. I never paid the parking ticket. Keep moving, sweetheart. 406 00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:38,489 Dad agrees with me. I can speed up. 407 00:20:38,572 --> 00:20:41,325 - This is not a movie! Haley, pull over! 408 00:20:42,305 --> 00:20:52,305 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.