1 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,370 Can people change? Well, that's a... 2 00:00:06,495 --> 00:00:08,660 that's a tough one but I would say "yes", 3 00:00:08,785 --> 00:00:11,731 people can change. That's what I beliebe, anyway. 4 00:00:11,934 --> 00:00:13,911 And I will until the day I die. 5 00:00:14,036 --> 00:00:17,453 You do realize you're proving the exact opposite of your point? 6 00:00:17,578 --> 00:00:20,978 See? She's changed. She used to be very supportive of me. 7 00:00:22,206 --> 00:00:23,216 Come on... 8 00:00:29,682 --> 00:00:33,601 - Why is this so loud? - I don't know. Make it stop. 9 00:00:33,889 --> 00:00:37,639 I just installed a sweet home theater system at the family room. 10 00:00:38,658 --> 00:00:40,351 The trouble is, 11 00:00:40,476 --> 00:00:43,854 Claire struggles with technology of any kind. 12 00:00:43,979 --> 00:00:47,281 I mean, remotes, cell phones, computers... 13 00:00:48,684 --> 00:00:50,734 Haley, have you seen my blue... 14 00:00:51,686 --> 00:00:54,080 - Hey, Mrs. Dunphy. - Oh, hey, Dylan. 15 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,623 You know I can see you, right? 16 00:00:58,398 --> 00:01:00,098 No, I did not know that. 17 00:01:00,817 --> 00:01:03,193 Haley's in the bathroom, she'll be back in just a minute. 18 00:01:03,318 --> 00:01:04,318 Thank you. 19 00:01:05,009 --> 00:01:07,459 - Where were you pointing it? - At the TV. 20 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,895 Honey, no, I'm sorry. It's a home theater. 21 00:01:12,271 --> 00:01:15,727 What, so I can't point at the TV when I wanna watch the TV? 22 00:01:16,131 --> 00:01:17,667 You point at the reciever. 23 00:01:17,792 --> 00:01:18,899 What's a reciever? 24 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,964 Imagine our home theater system is a human body, 25 00:01:23,089 --> 00:01:25,629 so, then, the reciever is the brain. 26 00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:28,698 - The TV is the face. - I know what part you are. 27 00:01:30,503 --> 00:01:32,565 So, he says those lies, and a lot many more. 28 00:01:32,690 --> 00:01:34,285 His heart... Boom! 29 00:01:34,492 --> 00:01:36,733 Quadruple bypass, blow the valve. 30 00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:39,334 - Look who it is! What a coinkydink. - There he is. 31 00:01:39,545 --> 00:01:42,295 I was just getting some flowers for Gloria for babysitting Lily. 32 00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:44,339 - You want me to take them to her? - I would, 33 00:01:44,618 --> 00:01:46,848 but I have the most hilarious card for her at home. 34 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,760 It's a hunky Antonio Banderas type 35 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,429 in silk boxers, and on the inside it says, 36 00:01:51,657 --> 00:01:53,607 "Thank you for last noche... 37 00:01:53,999 --> 00:01:56,434 But I can't find my pantalones." 38 00:02:00,182 --> 00:02:01,689 I'm not doing it justice, really. 39 00:02:01,857 --> 00:02:04,943 - Hi, I'm Cameron. - I'm sorry. Guys, this is Cameron. 40 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:06,677 He's a, um... 41 00:02:07,099 --> 00:02:08,488 a friend of my son's. 42 00:02:09,158 --> 00:02:11,988 This is Scotty, Dale, Hugo, and Shorty. 43 00:02:12,346 --> 00:02:16,246 It's nice to meet you. You guys look like a scene out of "Jersey Boys." 44 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:23,503 - So handsome! - Thank you. 45 00:02:25,398 --> 00:02:27,598 Manny, are you wearing aftershave? 46 00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:28,871 For my date. 47 00:02:28,996 --> 00:02:31,427 This will be the first time she will ever smell me. 48 00:02:31,597 --> 00:02:32,930 Her name is Whitney. 49 00:02:33,055 --> 00:02:35,199 I met her in an online book club. 50 00:02:35,324 --> 00:02:39,037 We both like vampire fiction and the romance of eternal life. 51 00:02:39,538 --> 00:02:42,060 I think it's adorable that Manny has a date. 52 00:02:42,185 --> 00:02:44,183 He even picked out the lunch menu. 53 00:02:44,308 --> 00:02:46,330 Grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup. 54 00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:49,558 Tomato soup because, you know, that tomato soup is like the blood 55 00:02:49,683 --> 00:02:52,049 and the vampires like to eat their blood. 56 00:02:52,174 --> 00:02:54,437 And then he wants me to take them out for ice cream, 57 00:02:54,562 --> 00:02:56,571 well, because Manny likes ice cream. 58 00:02:58,249 --> 00:02:59,377 That must be her. 59 00:02:59,502 --> 00:03:01,708 If this goes well, you don't need to stick around. 60 00:03:07,675 --> 00:03:09,372 Hi, I'm Whitney. 61 00:03:09,497 --> 00:03:10,758 I'm here for Manny. 62 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,702 Subtitles by Tyno 63 00:03:15,827 --> 00:03:17,765 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 64 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,351 See how that works? 65 00:03:27,476 --> 00:03:29,180 Sorry, sweetie. Sorry, daddy. 66 00:03:29,305 --> 00:03:30,245 It's all right. 67 00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:33,102 Me and Lily, we were using the time to finally figure out 68 00:03:33,227 --> 00:03:35,096 how to use the car's voice-command thingy. 69 00:03:35,221 --> 00:03:37,021 Here, check it out. Watch. 70 00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:40,178 CD player, next track. 71 00:03:40,572 --> 00:03:41,772 Say a command. 72 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:46,713 CD player, next track. 73 00:03:47,118 --> 00:03:48,568 Air conditioner on. 74 00:03:48,693 --> 00:03:50,616 - Damn it. - You're worse than your sister 75 00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:53,216 with this stuff. Good thing Lily doesn't have an ejector seat. 76 00:03:54,038 --> 00:03:54,922 Guess what. 77 00:03:55,096 --> 00:03:56,990 I ran into your dad and some of his friends. 78 00:03:57,115 --> 00:03:59,365 - Oh, really? - Yeah. And get this... 79 00:03:59,518 --> 00:04:02,459 He referred to me as "a friend of my son." 80 00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:04,659 Seriously? 81 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,063 That's a little disrespectful to you. 82 00:04:08,477 --> 00:04:11,271 - Well, I wasn't offended by it. - Well, I am. 83 00:04:11,396 --> 00:04:14,738 I mean, would he refer to Phil as "a friend of Claire's?" No. 84 00:04:15,138 --> 00:04:16,737 I've heard him call Phil a lot worse. 85 00:04:16,862 --> 00:04:18,704 Let it pass. I shouldn't have said anything. 86 00:04:18,829 --> 00:04:21,245 I'm not letting it pass. He needs to know that that's not okay. 87 00:04:21,414 --> 00:04:23,320 If he doesn't like it, he knows where he can go. 88 00:04:23,445 --> 00:04:24,785 Enter a destination. 89 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:25,752 Hell! 90 00:04:26,129 --> 00:04:27,209 Mexican food. 91 00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,421 Shut up! 92 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:31,657 I came out of the closet in my mid-20s. 93 00:04:31,782 --> 00:04:34,151 I had to actually come out to my dad three times 94 00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:36,476 before he finally acknowledged it. 95 00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:38,889 I'm not sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong. 96 00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:40,308 Like I had said, 97 00:04:40,853 --> 00:04:42,426 "Dad, I'm gray." 98 00:04:43,278 --> 00:04:45,172 And my parents, they always just knew. 99 00:04:45,479 --> 00:04:47,665 My mother says labor with me took 36 hours 100 00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:50,161 because I came out of the womb like this, "hello!" 101 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:54,529 - Hey, dad. - Mitchell. You guys know my son, Mitch. 102 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,863 Hey, Mitch. How's it hanging there, buddy? 103 00:04:57,193 --> 00:04:58,619 That's a great coat. 104 00:04:58,858 --> 00:05:00,988 - Where'd you get that? - I don't know. It was a gift. 105 00:05:01,386 --> 00:05:04,157 Really? What is it, suede? Microsuede? 106 00:05:04,822 --> 00:05:07,427 Some kind of lambskin? It's very soft, you know? 107 00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:08,918 Thank you. 108 00:05:11,881 --> 00:05:14,114 Can I talk to you for a second? 109 00:05:14,526 --> 00:05:16,826 - Be right back. - Good seeing you. 110 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,675 What's the matter? 111 00:05:18,907 --> 00:05:21,141 "A friend of my son"? That's how you introduce Cam? 112 00:05:21,348 --> 00:05:22,676 That's why you came here? 113 00:05:22,850 --> 00:05:24,652 It's just more than a little insulting. 114 00:05:24,777 --> 00:05:27,447 Cam and I have been together for five years. We have a daughter. 115 00:05:28,083 --> 00:05:29,455 Look at these guys. 116 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,577 They look like they came out of the 1800s. 117 00:05:31,702 --> 00:05:33,984 You see Hugo over there? After lunch, he ordered a sanka. 118 00:05:34,109 --> 00:05:37,257 No, they're not the ones that are uncomfortable with this. You are. 119 00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:39,793 You've never been completely accepting of me 120 00:05:39,992 --> 00:05:42,710 and now that I have a family, it's getting a little old. 121 00:05:42,835 --> 00:05:44,565 These guys don't understand the gay thing. 122 00:05:44,922 --> 00:05:47,889 Why create an awkward situation? That's all I'm saying. 123 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,193 That's weird, because your friend Shorty there... 124 00:05:50,318 --> 00:05:51,668 Gay as they come. 125 00:05:54,365 --> 00:05:55,965 You got to be kidding. 126 00:05:56,217 --> 00:05:59,246 My gaydar is never wrong, and it's pinging like we're at a bathhouse. 127 00:05:59,371 --> 00:06:01,582 What are you talking about, gay? He used to be married. 128 00:06:01,764 --> 00:06:05,109 Well, that makes... So did Elton John, Merv Griffin, Cole Porter... 129 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,809 You know what? Listen to me. 130 00:06:06,977 --> 00:06:08,789 You couldn't be more wrong about this. 131 00:06:08,979 --> 00:06:11,591 You could not be more wrong, about a lot of things. 132 00:06:11,716 --> 00:06:13,851 - Good seeing you guys. - Take care, man. 133 00:06:13,976 --> 00:06:15,228 That's a great coat! 134 00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:17,340 Ping! 135 00:06:25,439 --> 00:06:26,370 Hey, it's me. 136 00:06:27,799 --> 00:06:30,666 I've got a bunch of moms over here who want to watch the talent-show DVD, 137 00:06:30,795 --> 00:06:33,043 and I can't get the sound to work. 138 00:06:33,316 --> 00:06:34,766 Is there a picture? 139 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:38,006 Be honest. Did you get frustrated 140 00:06:38,176 --> 00:06:40,232 and you started pressing all the buttons? 141 00:06:41,328 --> 00:06:44,850 I have a theory that Phil installs overly complicated things in the house 142 00:06:44,975 --> 00:06:48,125 just so he has an excuse to talk to me like a child. 143 00:06:48,404 --> 00:06:50,413 Last month, it was the thermostat. 144 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:54,446 The snowflake button makes it cold, cold, cold 145 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:58,211 "Set temperature" makes it hold, hold, hold 146 00:06:58,446 --> 00:07:00,552 The little flame makes it... 147 00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:06,227 This is so humiliating. I am sorry. 148 00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:07,802 It's okay. 149 00:07:08,030 --> 00:07:10,326 He just seemed so mature online. 150 00:07:11,041 --> 00:07:13,020 How could I be so stupid? 151 00:07:13,145 --> 00:07:14,376 You're not stupid. 152 00:07:14,546 --> 00:07:17,588 Stupid is not following your heart and taking a chance on love. 153 00:07:17,757 --> 00:07:20,900 I mean, what kind of 11-year-old talks like that? 154 00:07:21,025 --> 00:07:22,981 Manny's an old soul. 155 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,011 Here, 156 00:07:24,796 --> 00:07:26,296 use my handkerchief. 157 00:07:26,768 --> 00:07:28,268 You see what I mean? 158 00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:31,904 I'll just be alone for the rest of my life, and that's okay. 159 00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,771 No, don't say that. 160 00:07:34,114 --> 00:07:36,722 In my country, there is a saying that means, 161 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,443 "Love is just around the corner." 162 00:07:39,611 --> 00:07:42,811 I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes. 163 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,213 Maybe for you. 164 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,825 Men must throw themselves at you every day. 165 00:07:46,995 --> 00:07:49,370 They'll do the same for you if you just... 166 00:07:49,748 --> 00:07:50,748 Just what? 167 00:07:51,754 --> 00:07:53,082 - Put out? - No, just... 168 00:07:53,462 --> 00:07:56,710 Like, the lipstick, the hair, push-up bra, you know. 169 00:07:57,705 --> 00:08:00,005 What's it matter? I'm never gonna be as pretty as you. 170 00:08:00,659 --> 00:08:03,019 Believe me, this takes a lot of work. 171 00:08:03,362 --> 00:08:05,302 You just need to find your inner beauty. 172 00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:08,234 It's hiding beneath a mask of insecurity. 173 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,766 Okay, he's starting to freak me out. 174 00:08:10,934 --> 00:08:12,184 Manny, go play. 175 00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:21,026 - How do these look to you? - Like they're dying. 176 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:24,288 I talked to the florist, and he said, "Don't worry. They're gonna come back." 177 00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:26,407 They're not. They've crossed to the other side! 178 00:08:26,575 --> 00:08:28,211 - You are a funny man. - Why? 179 00:08:28,336 --> 00:08:30,680 Because you're completely bothered by the flowers, 180 00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:33,374 but when my father introduces you as "a friend of my son", 181 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,508 - doesn't faze you in the least. - The florist played me for a fool. 182 00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:39,350 Your dad didn't mean any harm. He's just being who he is. 183 00:08:39,589 --> 00:08:42,037 When I was back east in law school, 184 00:08:42,162 --> 00:08:44,894 my dad used to call me every Saturday at 6:00 p.m. 185 00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:48,173 Before people would go out, just, you know, check in, catch up. 186 00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:51,970 And then, I think the Christmas of my second year, 187 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,473 I finally got up the courage to tell him. 188 00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:01,650 After that, I pretty much just talked to my mom. 189 00:09:02,903 --> 00:09:03,836 Don't cry. 190 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,211 I'm not crying. 191 00:09:06,907 --> 00:09:08,747 - I'm home! - We're here. 192 00:09:09,369 --> 00:09:11,935 This is Whitney. We're giving her a makeover. 193 00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:14,515 Hi. You have such a nice family 194 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,640 and a really beautiful house. 195 00:09:16,895 --> 00:09:18,792 Thanks. You two know each other how? 196 00:09:18,962 --> 00:09:20,002 She's my date. 197 00:09:20,171 --> 00:09:22,377 Of course she is. I'll be in here. 198 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,403 I'll be right back. 199 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,968 I'm sorry this didn't turn out like you wanted. 200 00:09:28,628 --> 00:09:29,695 That's okay. 201 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,306 Probably didn't turn out how you wanted it, either. 202 00:09:32,474 --> 00:09:33,432 Tell you what. 203 00:09:33,704 --> 00:09:36,018 If neither of us is with anybody in 10 years, 204 00:09:36,588 --> 00:09:38,562 how about you and me give it a shot? 205 00:09:39,521 --> 00:09:41,021 That's disturbing... 206 00:09:42,177 --> 00:09:43,192 But maybe. 207 00:09:43,563 --> 00:09:46,362 - How was your lunch with the boys? - Good. Ran into Mitchell and Cam. 208 00:09:46,530 --> 00:09:48,572 - Ay, nice. - And you're not gonna believe this. 209 00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:50,534 Mitchell says Shorty's gay. 210 00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:51,533 Shorty? 211 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,464 - Yeah, I believe it. - Oh, come on! 212 00:09:54,589 --> 00:09:58,582 - He's a great dresser, a great dancer. - That doesn't prove anything. 213 00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,769 He's your only friend that never hits on me. 214 00:10:00,894 --> 00:10:03,473 - My friends hit on you? - Yes, all the time. But don't worry, 215 00:10:03,598 --> 00:10:05,547 they're a bunch of harmless old men. 216 00:10:05,857 --> 00:10:06,843 They're my age. 217 00:10:06,968 --> 00:10:10,313 I'm sure it's very hard on Shorty to keep a secret like that. 218 00:10:10,438 --> 00:10:11,720 You should talk to him. 219 00:10:11,890 --> 00:10:14,181 - What? - You're the only one with a gay son. 220 00:10:14,676 --> 00:10:16,644 I'm sure he'll appreciate opening up to you. 221 00:10:16,769 --> 00:10:18,394 We're guys. We don't "open up." 222 00:10:18,696 --> 00:10:20,982 We talk about sports and cars, 223 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,148 getting up in the middle of the night to pee. 224 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,109 But I'm sure you made it very easy for Mitch 225 00:10:25,277 --> 00:10:27,077 to come out of the closet. 226 00:10:28,926 --> 00:10:30,489 I'm gonna finish my makeover. 227 00:10:31,788 --> 00:10:33,788 'Cause I care about people. 228 00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:37,341 Because I want to help them change their lives. 229 00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:40,188 Jay, I'm hinting that you should call your friend, okay? 230 00:10:40,313 --> 00:10:41,663 I'm getting that. 231 00:10:45,885 --> 00:10:47,485 Daddy in the hiz-ouse! 232 00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:57,433 Why would you do that to a brand-new, 233 00:10:57,712 --> 00:10:59,190 very expensive remote? 234 00:10:59,315 --> 00:11:01,350 Because I lost my temper and it didn't work. 235 00:11:01,475 --> 00:11:02,688 Therefore, it's useless. 236 00:11:02,856 --> 00:11:05,154 Well, honey, when it comes to anything electronic, 237 00:11:05,279 --> 00:11:06,936 you're not exactly the best student. 238 00:11:07,061 --> 00:11:08,124 I am very smart. 239 00:11:08,249 --> 00:11:10,897 I had a 4.0 in college. How about you? 240 00:11:11,022 --> 00:11:14,444 I was almost that despite my substantial time commitment to cheerleading. 241 00:11:14,569 --> 00:11:16,869 I thought we agreed not to bring up the cheerleading. 242 00:11:17,037 --> 00:11:19,387 Cheerleading in my college was cool. 243 00:11:19,831 --> 00:11:22,207 The football players were so jealous, they wouldn't even let me 244 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:25,925 and my buddies Trevor, Scotty, and Ling go to their parties. 245 00:11:26,948 --> 00:11:30,827 Seriously, Claire, you owe me an apology for baking that. 246 00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:34,892 Phil, I apologize for breaking the world's worst remote... 247 00:11:35,017 --> 00:11:36,889 that you bought... stupidly. 248 00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:38,436 Excuse me, 249 00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:42,138 but the experts at CNET: com rated it the best remote. 250 00:11:42,263 --> 00:11:44,513 They gave it three-and-a-half mice. 251 00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:47,476 Well, I have an idea. Let's invite the gang from CNET over 252 00:11:47,601 --> 00:11:50,277 and your old buddies from cheerleading and we can have a nerd party. 253 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,104 Ling is not a nerd. 254 00:11:52,229 --> 00:11:54,400 He built his own helicopter. And if he was alive today... 255 00:11:54,525 --> 00:11:57,826 Sweetie, let's not talk about Ling. It upsets you too much. 256 00:12:00,075 --> 00:12:01,698 You know what I'm gonna do? 257 00:12:01,823 --> 00:12:04,166 I'm gonna buy a new remote, the same remote. 258 00:12:04,401 --> 00:12:06,033 And just to prove how wrong you are, 259 00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:08,837 I'm gonna teach our dumbest kid how to use it in 20 minutes or less. 260 00:12:09,139 --> 00:12:10,381 Who's our dumbest kid? 261 00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:12,174 - Luke. - Luke? 262 00:12:12,678 --> 00:12:14,745 No, Luke understands electronics. 263 00:12:15,157 --> 00:12:16,887 Haley. Yeah. Haley. 264 00:12:17,211 --> 00:12:19,943 Teach Haley to use the remote, and then I'll apologize. 265 00:12:20,068 --> 00:12:21,068 Haley? 266 00:12:21,725 --> 00:12:22,803 Come on! 267 00:12:23,244 --> 00:12:24,516 Hey, Shorty. It's me. 268 00:12:24,641 --> 00:12:26,758 I was thinking of heading over to the driving range 269 00:12:26,883 --> 00:12:29,683 and hitting a few balls, you want to join me? 270 00:12:30,912 --> 00:12:33,654 I don't know. Wear whatever you want. 271 00:12:34,652 --> 00:12:36,916 - Oh, my God. Oh, God. - What? 272 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:40,444 The flowers, they look so much better. This is a disaster. 273 00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:43,205 - You do know what "disaster" means? - You don't understand. 274 00:12:43,373 --> 00:12:45,777 I demanded that they come exchange them. 275 00:12:45,902 --> 00:12:48,104 I got all medieval on the florist. 276 00:12:49,004 --> 00:12:51,210 I heard you on the phone. You said you were displeased, 277 00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:54,021 - but that's hardly going medieval. - Excuse me. I said "very displeased," 278 00:12:54,146 --> 00:12:56,379 and I used my cowboy voice, so... 279 00:12:56,678 --> 00:12:57,803 What are you doing? 280 00:12:58,133 --> 00:13:00,139 I'm microwaving them so they look bad again. 281 00:13:00,454 --> 00:13:02,904 That seems a little crazy, doesn't it? 282 00:13:05,477 --> 00:13:08,147 - That's the florist. - Look, relax. Just take them out. 283 00:13:08,315 --> 00:13:11,026 I'll get the door. He'll never know the difference. 284 00:13:11,735 --> 00:13:14,254 - Florist. - Hi. Yes, come on in. 285 00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:16,530 - He's over there with the flowers. - Hello. 286 00:13:16,817 --> 00:13:19,912 I don't know what happened. They just somehow lost their vigor. 287 00:13:20,037 --> 00:13:22,119 They were like this when we came home. 288 00:13:22,745 --> 00:13:24,843 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 289 00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:26,540 Oh, God! 290 00:13:29,113 --> 00:13:31,628 Look at that. Two things flaming at once. 291 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:36,758 Damn it! 292 00:13:36,996 --> 00:13:39,935 You know what the problem is? Not moving your hips. They're frozen. 293 00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:42,323 - Hips? - Yeah, your hips. They're frozen. 294 00:13:42,448 --> 00:13:44,002 - Here, let me show you. - Don't. 295 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,767 - Don't fight me. - All right, Shorty. 296 00:13:45,937 --> 00:13:49,354 Just bring the club back. Go ahead. Now turn those hips. That's it. 297 00:13:49,609 --> 00:13:52,586 You just got to relax. You got to open up the stance a little bit. 298 00:13:52,711 --> 00:13:54,067 Spad 'em. That's it. 299 00:13:54,313 --> 00:13:57,041 If you don't relax, you're never gonna get that shaft where it belongs. 300 00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,760 You know what? How about a coffee? 301 00:13:58,885 --> 00:14:00,657 - Let's get a coffee. - Sure. 302 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,489 - Press the button labeled "activities." - Where's that? 303 00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:05,157 It's to the right. To the right. 304 00:14:05,282 --> 00:14:08,006 - And now choose "watch DVD." - What? 305 00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:10,171 Honey, you got to focus. We've only got 20 minutes. 306 00:14:10,296 --> 00:14:12,069 Pretend the mall's closing. 307 00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:14,502 Dad, this is stupid. I watch TV on my computer. 308 00:14:14,627 --> 00:14:18,038 - Why do I have to learn this? - 'Cause your mom doesn't think you can. 309 00:14:18,163 --> 00:14:20,093 - Nobody can! - Haley, listen to me. 310 00:14:20,453 --> 00:14:21,603 Listen to me. 311 00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:24,600 I know this seems impossible, 312 00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:28,323 but this is for all those times that mom told you she was right... 313 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,450 and you knew she was wrong. 314 00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:34,291 I'll do it. 315 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:36,667 That's my girl. 316 00:14:37,297 --> 00:14:39,267 You know, that guy's got a beautiful stroke. 317 00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:40,864 Look at his pants. No pleats. 318 00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:43,591 I like pants like that. Can I get away with something like that? 319 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,660 Sure, why not? 320 00:14:45,954 --> 00:14:47,304 Listen, Shorty... 321 00:14:47,695 --> 00:14:49,499 We've known each other a long time, right? 322 00:14:49,624 --> 00:14:50,874 What, 30 years? 323 00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:52,417 And, uh... 324 00:14:53,705 --> 00:14:55,750 I sense that you got a secret 325 00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:58,525 that's maybe causing you a lot of anguish. 326 00:15:01,027 --> 00:15:04,805 - You heard something, right? - I had the same situation with my son. 327 00:15:06,013 --> 00:15:08,963 - Really? - I didn't handle it too well, either. 328 00:15:10,727 --> 00:15:13,564 I just want you to know that you can open up to me, 329 00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:16,276 that I'm gonna do all I can to help you. 330 00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:20,331 Well, I mean, I... 331 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,107 I never said this out loud before to anyone, 332 00:15:24,232 --> 00:15:26,076 but I guess if I did, it would be you. 333 00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,383 It's just that, Jay, you see, I'm... 334 00:15:31,252 --> 00:15:32,076 I'm... 335 00:15:33,379 --> 00:15:34,379 Go ahead. 336 00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:36,211 Yeah, go ahead. 337 00:15:36,498 --> 00:15:38,326 - I'm in debt. - Huh? 338 00:15:38,451 --> 00:15:41,606 I owe a bookie 20 G's, and he's a serious guy. 339 00:15:41,829 --> 00:15:45,220 And you offering to give me the dough, this is beautiful! 340 00:15:45,391 --> 00:15:46,889 Wait a minute. You're not gay? 341 00:15:47,418 --> 00:15:49,868 Gay? What are you talking about, gay? 342 00:15:50,227 --> 00:15:52,227 I'm not gay! Where'd you get gay? 343 00:15:52,395 --> 00:15:54,897 Come on, you're always talking about clothes and everything, right? 344 00:15:55,219 --> 00:15:58,087 My father was a tailor. I like clothes. So what? 345 00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:00,319 Are you calling my father gay? 346 00:16:00,487 --> 00:16:02,950 My father landed on Normandy to save your ass. 347 00:16:03,075 --> 00:16:05,261 You know, if you weren't lending me 20 G's, 348 00:16:05,386 --> 00:16:07,286 I'd knock you out right now. 349 00:16:11,402 --> 00:16:12,552 Take a check? 350 00:16:13,127 --> 00:16:14,677 Cash would be better. 351 00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,030 You ready? 352 00:16:19,492 --> 00:16:20,692 Let's do this. 353 00:16:22,599 --> 00:16:23,849 Turn on the TV. 354 00:16:26,257 --> 00:16:27,137 Nice. 355 00:16:27,577 --> 00:16:28,577 Mute it. 356 00:16:31,045 --> 00:16:32,095 Un-mute it. 357 00:16:35,021 --> 00:16:36,221 Put it on DVD. 358 00:16:39,262 --> 00:16:40,412 Skip forward. 359 00:16:40,556 --> 00:16:41,400 Wait... 360 00:16:46,094 --> 00:16:47,144 Back to TV. 361 00:16:51,112 --> 00:16:52,208 Face! 362 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:53,996 Don't get all cocky, Phil. 363 00:16:54,168 --> 00:16:57,268 Let's see what happens to little Haley when I do... 364 00:16:57,838 --> 00:16:58,738 this. 365 00:17:00,642 --> 00:17:01,642 Face. 366 00:17:02,095 --> 00:17:05,321 - Dad, what do I do? - Don't panic. We went through this. 367 00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:06,802 Just think. 368 00:17:06,981 --> 00:17:08,929 Give up. Give up. Admit defeat. 369 00:17:10,376 --> 00:17:11,776 Okay, let's see... 370 00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:15,726 You put the remote onto TV mode 371 00:17:16,363 --> 00:17:17,980 and then pre input 372 00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:22,213 till you get HDMI 1 and... 373 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,197 - I did it! - She did it! 374 00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,795 Fine, you proved your point. 375 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,906 Everybody in this house is smarter than me. 376 00:17:36,031 --> 00:17:39,458 Honey, you're missing the point. I taught Haley how to use the remote 377 00:17:39,647 --> 00:17:42,391 in 20 minutes, so think how fast you can learn it. 378 00:17:42,658 --> 00:17:44,295 What's that supposed to mean? 379 00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:45,920 See what I'm saying? 380 00:17:47,287 --> 00:17:48,687 Mitchell, it's me! 381 00:17:50,454 --> 00:17:51,854 - Hey, dad. - Hi. 382 00:17:52,126 --> 00:17:54,968 I'm here to let you know your gaydar is broken. 383 00:17:55,093 --> 00:17:56,493 Shorty is not gay. 384 00:17:58,504 --> 00:18:01,866 I knew that. I just made that up to mess with you for dissing Cam. 385 00:18:01,991 --> 00:18:04,274 What? That cost me 20,000 bucks. 386 00:18:04,964 --> 00:18:06,754 - What do you mean? - I reached out to him 387 00:18:06,879 --> 00:18:08,572 to let him know it's okay to be gay. 388 00:18:10,209 --> 00:18:11,209 You did? 389 00:18:11,536 --> 00:18:14,076 Right after one of the stranger golf lessons of my life. 390 00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,750 Turns out what he is is a lousy gambler, 391 00:18:16,941 --> 00:18:19,441 and now I'm the one on the hook for it. 392 00:18:20,972 --> 00:18:22,044 I'm so sorry. 393 00:18:22,213 --> 00:18:23,712 Then why are you smiling? 394 00:18:24,164 --> 00:18:25,881 I'm proud of you, dad. You're growing. 395 00:18:26,156 --> 00:18:27,952 Just stop it, please? 396 00:18:28,634 --> 00:18:31,882 Don't you see how hard this is for me? I used to be like one of those guys. 397 00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,122 Now look at me. 398 00:18:33,247 --> 00:18:35,127 I got a house looks like little Colombia. 399 00:18:35,252 --> 00:18:37,224 I got a gay son and a Chinese granddaughter. 400 00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:39,931 - Vietnamese. - Only you would know the difference. 401 00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:42,531 Don't worry, dad. You're not growing too much. 402 00:18:43,316 --> 00:18:44,441 I'm a little nervous. 403 00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:47,486 - Don't be! - I'm sure you look beautiful. 404 00:18:51,072 --> 00:18:53,372 - What do you think? - Look at you! 405 00:18:55,331 --> 00:18:56,331 Really? 406 00:18:57,342 --> 00:19:00,042 You gonna be fighting men off with a stick! 407 00:19:00,358 --> 00:19:01,875 I don't know about that. 408 00:19:04,292 --> 00:19:07,568 Hi! Sorry for the pop-over, but I just wanted to bring you these 409 00:19:07,693 --> 00:19:10,090 to thank you for babysitting Lily again last night. 410 00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:13,807 Gracias. You didn't need to do that. 411 00:19:13,932 --> 00:19:15,609 - You know I love Lily. - I know. 412 00:19:15,734 --> 00:19:17,234 Come in. Say hello. 413 00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:22,000 Cameron, this is my new friend, Whitney. 414 00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:24,773 - Whitney, this is Cameron. - Hello, it's nice to meet you. That... 415 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:26,775 is a spectacular dress. 416 00:19:26,943 --> 00:19:28,618 This old thing? I don't know... 417 00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:30,912 - What about her hair? - Oh, my gosh. 418 00:19:31,199 --> 00:19:34,241 It's like Barbra Streisand in "The Way We Were." One of my favorites. 419 00:19:34,409 --> 00:19:35,367 Me too. 420 00:19:36,894 --> 00:19:40,182 - Okay, who is reading "The Forevers"? - I am. 421 00:19:40,968 --> 00:19:43,834 I am so obsessed with this whole vampire thing right now. 422 00:19:44,386 --> 00:19:45,386 Me too! 423 00:19:46,523 --> 00:19:49,020 I just met the sweetest guy named Cameron. 424 00:19:49,145 --> 00:19:51,045 I think he might be the one. 425 00:19:51,452 --> 00:19:53,672 Can people change? I don't know. 426 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:56,033 People are who they are... 427 00:19:56,926 --> 00:19:59,119 Give or take 15%. 428 00:19:59,244 --> 00:20:02,432 That's how much people can change if they really want to. 429 00:20:02,604 --> 00:20:05,358 - Well, I'll see you when I see you. - Yeah, thanks for com... 430 00:20:14,773 --> 00:20:15,991 Haley, sweetie, wake up. 431 00:20:16,473 --> 00:20:17,367 What? 432 00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:20,116 I need you to teach me to use the TV. 433 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,360 Now? 434 00:20:21,718 --> 00:20:23,418 Why can't dad teach you? 435 00:20:24,398 --> 00:20:25,998 Because we're married. 436 00:20:27,391 --> 00:20:30,741 Whether it's for themselves or for the people they love. 437 00:20:31,219 --> 00:20:34,665 - That way. Yeah. And then press... - I got it. 438 00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:36,590 Yeah. Yeah, 15%. 439 00:20:40,263 --> 00:20:41,637 But you know what? 440 00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,712 Sometimes that's just enough. 441 00:20:43,837 --> 00:20:44,837 I did it! 442 00:20:48,749 --> 00:20:51,249 All right. See you guys next week, huh? 443 00:20:54,168 --> 00:20:55,830 Listen, I want to thank you 444 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,491 - for helping me out with that jam. - It was nothing. 445 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,327 And I got you a little present. 446 00:21:00,452 --> 00:21:02,078 - You didn't have to do that. - I did. 447 00:21:02,976 --> 00:21:05,700 Two tickets to see the great Michael Bublé. 448 00:21:05,825 --> 00:21:09,501 The guy sings like an angel. He'll be at one of the amphitheaters. 449 00:21:09,626 --> 00:21:12,714 - Gloria's gonna love it. - No. I'm talking about you and me. 450 00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:16,426 - You and me? Well, that's a little... - Yeah, I thought maybe we could have 451 00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:18,746 a little picnic since it's outside, you know? 452 00:21:18,871 --> 00:21:21,156 I'll get some nice bottle of wine, a little cheese, 453 00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,866 - lay on a nice blanket, all right? - Yeah, fine. 454 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:26,809 Yo, hey, I like your hair. Who does your hair? 455 00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,753 Yo, handsome, who does your hair?