1 00:00:17,857 --> 00:00:19,798 - Honey, Hugh Grant has... - I'm in. 2 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:23,048 Well, Alex has a cello lesson at 11:00, 3 00:00:23,225 --> 00:00:25,107 and junior congress at noon. 4 00:00:25,232 --> 00:00:27,114 Doesn't she also have no boys at forever? 5 00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:29,740 Don't you have an eating disorder you need to attend to? 6 00:00:29,865 --> 00:00:33,474 Anyway, we could see the 4:00 or the 6:20. 7 00:00:33,747 --> 00:00:36,731 Actually, that's no good. I'm meeting my friend Denise for a drink. 8 00:00:36,856 --> 00:00:39,130 - Do I know Denise? - Yeah, my old girlfriend. 9 00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:42,172 Oh, my God. Gross. I can't even picture you with a woman. 10 00:00:42,534 --> 00:00:43,515 Thank you. 11 00:00:43,725 --> 00:00:46,246 - You had a girlfriend before mom? - Try two. 12 00:00:46,674 --> 00:00:49,271 Trust me. I had plenty of fun in my time. 13 00:00:49,396 --> 00:00:50,755 And then I met your mom. 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:51,839 And thank you. 15 00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:56,048 So I guess she travels around selling makeup 16 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,748 for a cosmetics company. She's in town for a week. 17 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,039 You mean she's like a door-to-door salesman? 18 00:01:01,163 --> 00:01:02,472 If you were doing it, 19 00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:04,605 they'd call it a dork-to-dork salesman. 20 00:01:06,225 --> 00:01:08,381 My boy strikes like a rattlesnake! 21 00:01:08,922 --> 00:01:10,520 Oh, yeah? Well, you... 22 00:01:12,908 --> 00:01:15,923 Well, we can see the movie tomorrow. Come on. It's time for your lesson. 23 00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:19,589 You mean her second lesson, because she just got schooled. 24 00:01:21,899 --> 00:01:23,187 What's wrong with me today? 25 00:01:23,312 --> 00:01:25,422 Shake it off, champ. It's not your day. 26 00:01:28,725 --> 00:01:30,214 Good morning, papi. 27 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,181 Is it? 28 00:01:31,678 --> 00:01:34,047 You're still sad because of that audition. 29 00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:36,673 That part was mine. I was born to play Tevye. 30 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,506 Instead they give it to Rod Jackson? 31 00:01:38,697 --> 00:01:40,550 What does he know from suffering? 32 00:01:40,675 --> 00:01:42,515 - How we doing? - A little better, 33 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,006 but we're gonna go and throw ice cream at the problem. 34 00:01:45,183 --> 00:01:47,908 Well, if that doesn't work, this should do the trick. 35 00:01:48,032 --> 00:01:50,415 "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." 36 00:01:50,590 --> 00:01:51,748 Hang this in your room. 37 00:01:51,873 --> 00:01:53,739 See it every morning, start to internalize it. 38 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,214 Nothing will keep you down. 39 00:01:55,423 --> 00:01:56,982 - But it's not true. - What? 40 00:01:57,173 --> 00:01:59,114 Stuff that doesn't kill you makes you weaker. 41 00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:01,172 My friend's grandfather had a heart attack. 42 00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:04,660 - Now he needs a machine to breathe. - I've seen him at the supermarket. 43 00:02:04,785 --> 00:02:07,008 Now he needs to drive one of those little, like... 44 00:02:07,892 --> 00:02:09,005 Right. Be negative. 45 00:02:09,298 --> 00:02:11,446 It's just not a good poster, Jay. 46 00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:13,805 You're only making me stronger. 47 00:02:14,169 --> 00:02:16,550 Subtitles by Kevin & Tyno 48 00:02:16,675 --> 00:02:18,673 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 49 00:02:26,632 --> 00:02:29,029 Did you pack the bread for the ducks? 50 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,534 Not the whole-wheat kind. The ducks don't like that. 51 00:02:31,659 --> 00:02:32,933 Ducks don't care. 52 00:02:33,131 --> 00:02:36,114 We both believe that animals should play a big part in Lily's life. 53 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,581 Having grown up on a farm, I was surrounded by them. 54 00:02:38,799 --> 00:02:41,766 They were more like brothers and sisters than just livestock. 55 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,951 Delicious brothers and sisters. 56 00:02:45,076 --> 00:02:47,780 Life on a farm. They know what they're getting into. 57 00:02:50,719 --> 00:02:52,672 Wait. Oh, it's the office. 58 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,329 - Don't answer it. - I have to. 59 00:02:54,454 --> 00:02:56,393 It's like this every Saturday. Just ignore it. 60 00:02:56,518 --> 00:02:59,047 Well, maybe it's not that this time. Hello? 61 00:03:11,311 --> 00:03:12,182 That's nice. 62 00:03:16,137 --> 00:03:16,986 Holy... 63 00:03:17,286 --> 00:03:19,134 Shel? You all right, buddy? 64 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:21,059 Oh, hell! 65 00:03:22,915 --> 00:03:24,472 There's four of them, Mitchell! 66 00:03:24,597 --> 00:03:26,553 They're giving her little duck kisses, 67 00:03:26,678 --> 00:03:29,012 and she's laughing! I can't believe you're missing this. 68 00:03:29,137 --> 00:03:31,194 Why not, Cam? I've missed everything else. 69 00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:32,932 She rolled over when I was in Phoenix. 70 00:03:33,106 --> 00:03:35,065 She started scooting en I was in court. 71 00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:37,081 Just tell them you're not coming in. 72 00:03:37,206 --> 00:03:38,694 You do enough for them. 73 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:42,071 Well, you know that, I know that, you know? 74 00:03:42,462 --> 00:03:45,681 The only one who doesn't know that is my sucky boss. 75 00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:48,105 He's the suckiest suck of all time. 76 00:03:48,799 --> 00:03:51,246 He's a miserable son of a bitch who... 77 00:03:51,938 --> 00:03:54,960 May have heard everything I just said. 78 00:04:00,919 --> 00:04:04,005 Hi, honey. When are you getting together with your gal pal? 79 00:04:04,173 --> 00:04:06,589 I was just checking on that. She's supposed to send me a message. 80 00:04:07,302 --> 00:04:08,899 You're Facebook friends. 81 00:04:09,024 --> 00:04:09,923 Sure am. 82 00:04:10,048 --> 00:04:12,345 She's one of my 447 friends. 83 00:04:13,194 --> 00:04:15,207 Everybody wants a slice. 84 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:16,922 How long have you been in touch? 85 00:04:17,302 --> 00:04:19,089 She tracked me down about a year ago. 86 00:04:21,642 --> 00:04:23,005 What? What's that sound? 87 00:04:23,628 --> 00:04:24,527 Nothing. 88 00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:27,619 There she is right now. 89 00:04:28,262 --> 00:04:31,298 "How about we meet at Le Reve at 7:30?" 90 00:04:32,433 --> 00:04:34,572 Well, that sounds innocent enough. 91 00:04:34,697 --> 00:04:37,756 Drinks with an ex-girlfriend at an intimate French restaurant. 92 00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,400 You're doing that thing where you say what I want you to say 93 00:04:40,525 --> 00:04:41,969 but your tone seems mean. 94 00:04:42,094 --> 00:04:45,389 Let me guess. Denise isn't married. 95 00:04:45,642 --> 00:04:47,810 Recently divorced. What's the big deal? 96 00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:50,112 Come on, Phil. You can't be that naive. 97 00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:53,266 Seriously, women in their 30s on the internet are like... 98 00:04:53,391 --> 00:04:55,423 ninjas. They get in their little black outfits 99 00:04:55,591 --> 00:04:57,464 and sneak their way into your marriage. 100 00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:58,813 That's not Denise. 101 00:04:58,937 --> 00:05:01,880 Here, read some of her messages. You're gonna feel silly. 102 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:02,997 Go ahead. 103 00:05:04,222 --> 00:05:05,756 "Hey, Phil. How's it goin'?" 104 00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,964 You can't add the sexy voice. "Hi, Phil. How's it going?" 105 00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,879 "So glad to hear your neck is better." 106 00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:13,339 Are you seriously jealous? 107 00:05:13,736 --> 00:05:15,089 I am not jealous at all. 108 00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:17,383 I just happen to know women better than you do, 109 00:05:17,508 --> 00:05:19,089 and that woman wants a slice. 110 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:22,656 Just to prove how wrong you are, I'm gonna invite her over here. 111 00:05:22,933 --> 00:05:25,464 Fine with me. Just hope it's fine with Denise. 112 00:05:26,182 --> 00:05:28,979 "Gee, Phil. I really had my heart set on Le Reve." 113 00:05:29,222 --> 00:05:31,122 That voice doesn't bother me. 114 00:05:31,773 --> 00:05:33,022 Kind of like it! 115 00:05:33,515 --> 00:05:35,084 Has he been acting weird around you? 116 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,713 I've been avoiding him all morning. 117 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,504 So you don't even know if he heard you. 118 00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,614 Well, that's why we're doing this. 119 00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:43,047 Hey, where are you? I only have a half-hour for lunch. 120 00:05:45,321 --> 00:05:48,034 - Hello, handsome. - Okay, so this is where it happened. 121 00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:51,005 Turn off the phone, open the window. We'll see if you can hear me. 122 00:05:53,558 --> 00:05:56,556 Go around! We're re-creating a faux pas! 123 00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:57,929 Thank you! 124 00:05:58,263 --> 00:06:00,214 Okay, can you hear me now? 125 00:06:00,404 --> 00:06:02,322 Just barely. Is this how loud you were talking? 126 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,047 It might have been a little bit louder. There was traffic. I had to shout. 127 00:06:06,225 --> 00:06:08,214 - You almost had to what? - Shout. 128 00:06:08,382 --> 00:06:10,695 - Little bit louder now. - Shout! 129 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:13,548 Really, Cam? 130 00:06:13,766 --> 00:06:15,422 My job is at stake here and... 131 00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:16,833 Oh, who are we kidding? 132 00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:19,513 You can obviously hear me. I am so screwed. 133 00:06:22,766 --> 00:06:24,804 Manny, come here a second, pal. 134 00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:27,556 - I got some bad news, buddy. - What is it? 135 00:06:28,103 --> 00:06:29,946 There's no easy way to say this. 136 00:06:31,132 --> 00:06:32,797 Shel Turtlestein is dead. 137 00:06:33,257 --> 00:06:34,714 What? How? 138 00:06:35,334 --> 00:06:38,964 I was down here reading the paper, I heard this commotion up in your room. 139 00:06:39,141 --> 00:06:41,270 So naturally I go running up there. 140 00:06:41,395 --> 00:06:42,964 And this mangy raccoon 141 00:06:43,183 --> 00:06:44,591 had busted through your screen. 142 00:06:44,715 --> 00:06:46,713 He must have scampered up to where Shel was. 143 00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:52,548 By the time I walked in, the bastard had him by the neck, shaking him. 144 00:06:52,715 --> 00:06:54,564 Gravel's flying everywhere. 145 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,356 He didn't even flinch. He just stared at me with that smug look 146 00:06:58,481 --> 00:06:59,779 and then bolted. 147 00:07:00,135 --> 00:07:02,333 If only I'd have got here earlier. 148 00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:05,286 May I see the body? 149 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,247 Baby, are you sure that's a good idea? 150 00:07:07,372 --> 00:07:09,270 It's something I have to do. 151 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,245 - That's him. - Sorry, pal. 152 00:07:13,428 --> 00:07:16,214 - It just doesn't make any sense. - Yep. Only the good die young. 153 00:07:16,382 --> 00:07:18,393 But in school we leaed raccoons are nocturnal. 154 00:07:18,518 --> 00:07:20,678 - They sleep during the day. - They sure do, 155 00:07:20,803 --> 00:07:24,005 and this one must've got up for a midnight snack. We've all done that. 156 00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,256 I guess so. 157 00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:26,659 It all adds up. 158 00:07:26,783 --> 00:07:28,711 I don't think I can be in here right now. 159 00:07:28,836 --> 00:07:30,235 Too many memories. 160 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,705 He'll be okay. 161 00:07:34,357 --> 00:07:35,506 - You lie. - What? 162 00:07:35,673 --> 00:07:36,661 I'm Colombian. 163 00:07:36,786 --> 00:07:39,089 I know a fake crime scene when I see one! 164 00:07:40,102 --> 00:07:42,200 I was hanging up the new poster. 165 00:07:42,325 --> 00:07:44,423 And it fell on top of him. It was an accident. 166 00:07:44,642 --> 00:07:47,290 - You have to tell him. - No. I've been through this before. 167 00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:49,864 When Mitchell was 9, I was supposed to take care of his bird. 168 00:07:49,989 --> 00:07:51,964 It got out and flew into a fan. 169 00:07:52,132 --> 00:07:53,797 It was like a bloody pillow fight. 170 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,172 - My God. How many pets have you killed? - Just the two. 171 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,172 I took the heat on the bird. Big mistake. 172 00:07:58,422 --> 00:08:01,036 To this day, Mitchell looks at me, I see him thinking, 173 00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:03,058 "That's the guy who killed Fly-Za Minnelli." 174 00:08:03,392 --> 00:08:05,145 And what if he finds out? Then what? 175 00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:07,839 You'll be the guy that killed his pet and lied to him. 176 00:08:08,058 --> 00:08:10,891 He's not gonna find out, because I covered my tracks. 177 00:08:13,947 --> 00:08:15,131 Fly-Za Minnelli? 178 00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:17,597 How did I not know that kid was gay? 179 00:08:21,269 --> 00:08:23,322 - Big day for you, huh? - Why? 180 00:08:23,558 --> 00:08:25,630 Because you get to meet your real mom. 181 00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:26,618 What? 182 00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:29,297 We all made a pact we'd deny it until you turned 21, 183 00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:31,381 But that's the real reason 184 00:08:31,549 --> 00:08:33,399 Dad's old girlfriend is coming over. 185 00:08:33,524 --> 00:08:35,508 She's your mom, and if she likes you, 186 00:08:35,632 --> 00:08:36,964 you'll go live with her. 187 00:08:37,296 --> 00:08:38,561 I'm not adopted. 188 00:08:38,764 --> 00:08:39,964 I'm asking mom. 189 00:08:40,183 --> 00:08:41,680 You mean Mrs. Dunphy? 190 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,464 She's not going to tell you the truth. 191 00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:45,131 I'm not... 192 00:08:45,857 --> 00:08:46,706 I know. 193 00:08:50,444 --> 00:08:53,423 Just 'cause he called you a dork-to-dork salesman? 194 00:08:54,907 --> 00:08:56,605 The Empire strikes back. 195 00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,089 Raccoons have five toes. 196 00:08:59,308 --> 00:09:01,713 - What's that? - I don't mean to bother you. 197 00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:03,258 It's just confusing. 198 00:09:03,383 --> 00:09:05,506 The footprints in my room only have four toes. 199 00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:09,086 You know, I bet I know what happened. I'll bet 200 00:09:09,211 --> 00:09:10,964 he lost those toes in a fight. 201 00:09:11,141 --> 00:09:13,642 And that guy looked like he'd been in a brawl or two. 202 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,880 - One toe from each foot? - Maybe. 203 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,456 I think the only thing that's gonna get you 204 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,525 to stop asking all these questions 205 00:09:21,649 --> 00:09:23,339 is for you to have a little closure. 206 00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:26,536 - What do you mean? - I'd like to throw a little memorial. 207 00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:27,964 It'll be good for all of us. 208 00:09:28,141 --> 00:09:29,903 That way, we get our grief out, 209 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,214 and then we never have to talk about this ever... 210 00:09:33,392 --> 00:09:34,431 ever again. 211 00:09:40,778 --> 00:09:42,726 Oh, careful, there's a thing. 212 00:09:43,058 --> 00:09:44,357 Good to see you. 213 00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:49,555 Hi, I'm Claire. You must be D... 214 00:09:51,631 --> 00:09:55,428 And you're even prettier than the pictures Phil's always posting. 215 00:09:55,683 --> 00:09:56,855 Just a couple. 216 00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:59,612 Shut up. Every week. He loves showing you off. 217 00:09:59,737 --> 00:10:01,625 My boyfriend likes your Acapulco pictures 218 00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,527 probably a little too much. 219 00:10:03,652 --> 00:10:05,545 Well, thank your boyfriend for me. 220 00:10:05,766 --> 00:10:06,903 Come on in. Please. 221 00:10:07,028 --> 00:10:11,023 I brought you some lifting intensifier. 222 00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:13,545 Not that you need it. It's a limited edition, so... 223 00:10:13,756 --> 00:10:14,922 Thank you. 224 00:10:15,213 --> 00:10:17,483 Denise, I think you might know these people. 225 00:10:17,607 --> 00:10:19,839 That's Haley, Alex, and... 226 00:10:20,058 --> 00:10:20,857 Luke! 227 00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:24,547 I had curly hair just like that when I was little. 228 00:10:25,984 --> 00:10:27,880 So? That doesn't mean anything! 229 00:10:31,211 --> 00:10:34,004 Why don't we come on in, have a seat? Please. 230 00:10:34,505 --> 00:10:36,339 So, what was my dad like in high school? 231 00:10:36,516 --> 00:10:38,901 Only the most amazing breakdancer ever. 232 00:10:39,394 --> 00:10:41,750 Don't fire it up. What? What? 233 00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:46,114 He had a boombox and a piece of cardboard in his locker. 234 00:10:46,239 --> 00:10:48,346 - And what was your dance name? - O-Zone. 235 00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:51,672 - Drove him to a "star search" audition. - Which is totally political. 236 00:10:51,891 --> 00:10:52,690 O-Zone. 237 00:10:53,248 --> 00:10:55,880 That is dead-ass funny. I'm so calling you that. 238 00:10:56,058 --> 00:10:56,879 Thank you. 239 00:10:57,739 --> 00:11:00,657 Wow. You really lucked out. You have a beautiful wife, 240 00:11:00,782 --> 00:11:02,930 a gorgeous house, and those kids. 241 00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:06,307 - I could take Luke home with me. - Well, be my guest. 242 00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:08,588 Seriously. You go right ahead. 243 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,488 I like it here! 244 00:11:14,762 --> 00:11:18,209 Alex, will you go find out what's wrong with your brother? 245 00:11:19,518 --> 00:11:22,501 You know, if it's okay, I think I'm just gonna use the... 246 00:11:22,626 --> 00:11:26,115 Oh, yeah, of course. Down the hall, left-hand side. You can't miss it. 247 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:27,177 Thanks. 248 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:31,837 - She's fantastic. - Yes? 249 00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:33,763 Yes. I feel awful. 250 00:11:33,888 --> 00:11:37,839 When did I become this cynical person who assumes the worst about people? 251 00:11:38,016 --> 00:11:40,422 I first noticed it seven years... You're not. 252 00:11:41,473 --> 00:11:43,137 I'm such an idiot. Is it... 253 00:11:43,262 --> 00:11:44,660 Oh, I'll show you. 254 00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:45,986 Thanks. 255 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:53,463 - So, how are we gonna do this? - I thought I'd just point at the door, 256 00:11:53,683 --> 00:11:56,375 - So I was thinking, like... - I was thinking, too. 257 00:11:56,499 --> 00:11:57,436 Here... 258 00:11:58,161 --> 00:11:59,709 is my hotel-room key. 259 00:12:00,702 --> 00:12:02,694 You can come by whenever you want. 260 00:12:10,222 --> 00:12:13,914 That was funny this morning, huh? When we were at the same stoplight? 261 00:12:14,248 --> 00:12:16,924 - Funny? - I was on the phone with my partner, 262 00:12:17,049 --> 00:12:19,374 talking about how horrible his boss was. 263 00:12:19,498 --> 00:12:21,452 His. And then, you pull up, so... 264 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,641 Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you. 265 00:12:23,766 --> 00:12:27,413 I'm worried they move up our court date. I need you to bust ass preparing. 266 00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:29,857 Because if they call us on Monday... 267 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,142 - You need to get that? - No, it's fine. It's just... 268 00:12:33,852 --> 00:12:37,164 - my daughter standing for the 1st time. - They do that. It's a big day. 269 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:41,036 Anyway, I need you here tomorrow. I know it's a Sunday, but... 270 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,872 You think you can be on time, okay? 271 00:12:44,452 --> 00:12:45,501 Actually... 272 00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:47,580 I have plans tomorrow. 273 00:12:48,756 --> 00:12:51,028 So I won't be here. I have plans... 274 00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:54,496 to stay at home with my family, and do absolutely nothing. 275 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:57,828 But I will see you on Monday. 276 00:12:57,953 --> 00:12:59,705 You're in charge now, is that it? 277 00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:02,266 I just figure if my daughter can stand up, 278 00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:04,381 - then so can I. - All right, look. 279 00:13:05,932 --> 00:13:08,664 We've all been working hard lately, but that's the job. 280 00:13:09,243 --> 00:13:11,539 So come in tomorrow, or don't bother coming back. 281 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,918 Need the ID to... 282 00:13:29,564 --> 00:13:31,413 make the elevator go down to freedom! 283 00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,613 And this, to complete my set. 284 00:13:39,307 --> 00:13:40,248 "Turtle. 285 00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:41,549 "Reptile. 286 00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:42,581 "Pet. 287 00:13:43,296 --> 00:13:45,544 "Shel Turtlestein was many things." 288 00:13:47,218 --> 00:13:49,081 I can't do this without crying. 289 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,114 - Maybe we should get to the cold cuts. - But we want to hear it. 290 00:13:53,938 --> 00:13:57,085 Why don't you read it? You were with him at the end. 291 00:13:57,346 --> 00:13:58,345 Remember? 292 00:14:05,753 --> 00:14:08,785 "Shel Turtlestein was many things, but above all, he was my friend. 293 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,385 "When I didn't get a date with Fiona Gunderson, Shel was there. 294 00:14:13,022 --> 00:14:16,019 "When I didn't get to play the part of Tevye, Shel was there. 295 00:14:16,592 --> 00:14:19,334 "And when a raccoon broke into my room, unfortunately... 296 00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:20,789 "Shel was there. 297 00:14:21,016 --> 00:14:24,819 "I said a lot of things to my friend, but the one I never got to say was... 298 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,119 "goodbye." 299 00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:27,054 Stop! 300 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,497 - I know what happened. - You do? 301 00:14:29,724 --> 00:14:32,685 I left a bag of chips near my bed. The raccoon must have smelled it. 302 00:14:33,186 --> 00:14:34,884 It's my fault he's dead. 303 00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:36,772 Sorry, Shel. 304 00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:41,206 You don't have anything to say to Manny? 305 00:14:52,806 --> 00:14:53,914 Shel forgives you. 306 00:14:54,746 --> 00:14:55,745 Thank you. 307 00:15:00,662 --> 00:15:02,886 These pictures are amazing. Thank you. 308 00:15:04,051 --> 00:15:07,226 - Wow. Sweetie, that perm. - Technically, it's a Jheri curl. 309 00:15:07,999 --> 00:15:11,039 I just love to take pictures. I took this one of myself today. 310 00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:17,243 You know what? I'm gonna open a bottle of wine. 311 00:15:17,599 --> 00:15:19,338 No, that's the worst idea. 312 00:15:21,848 --> 00:15:23,865 What am I, raised by a pack of wolves? 313 00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,376 Hey, come on, now. 314 00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:26,932 Honey... 315 00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,789 You weren't all wrong about Denise. 316 00:15:29,974 --> 00:15:31,330 - How's that? - She wants me. 317 00:15:31,715 --> 00:15:33,213 - To do what? - It. 318 00:15:33,605 --> 00:15:34,413 Her. 319 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,855 This is because of what I said about Facebook with everybody hooking up, 320 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:42,567 - and now you're disappointed. - No. She bit the air in front of me! 321 00:15:43,012 --> 00:15:45,461 Like that. And then look what she tried to give me. 322 00:15:45,586 --> 00:15:49,382 - Anything I can help with? - No, I just can't find my corkscrew. 323 00:15:51,474 --> 00:15:52,318 Touch me. 324 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:55,123 I think, somewhere along the line, you got the wrong idea. 325 00:15:55,307 --> 00:15:57,081 My head is full of wrong ideas. 326 00:15:57,911 --> 00:16:00,997 - You have such great taste, Claire. - Thank you. 327 00:16:01,224 --> 00:16:04,044 I remember Phil used to have really good taste, too. 328 00:16:04,168 --> 00:16:05,757 - Get a bit of this. - Here it is. 329 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:08,123 - Would you mind grabbing a few glasses? - You betcha. 330 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,330 Need me to grab anything? 331 00:16:11,232 --> 00:16:14,288 - Okay, this is so wrong. - Yes, it's more exciting with her here. 332 00:16:15,637 --> 00:16:18,986 - I still have my cheerleader outfit. - So do I, but this still can't happen. 333 00:16:19,538 --> 00:16:20,789 When did that break? 334 00:16:21,591 --> 00:16:23,997 - Why are you wussing out? - I never wussed in! 335 00:16:24,182 --> 00:16:25,971 And all the things you wrote on Facebook? 336 00:16:26,096 --> 00:16:28,372 "How was your day? My neck is so sore." 337 00:16:28,557 --> 00:16:31,288 Why do people add voices to these things? I didn't mean anything. 338 00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:34,497 You're telling me I wasted a year of my life on this relationship? 339 00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:37,247 - What relationship? - How many other women have you led on? 340 00:16:37,432 --> 00:16:38,542 Now I don't know! 341 00:16:42,832 --> 00:16:43,931 Phil, honey? 342 00:16:46,162 --> 00:16:48,905 Do you remember when you broke your arm when we were first dating? 343 00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:50,997 Yeah, when I slipped on the ice. 344 00:16:51,182 --> 00:16:54,206 Right. That's so weird, because in this picture, you're sitting with Denise, 345 00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:56,081 and you have a broken arm, so... 346 00:16:56,438 --> 00:16:57,986 Yeah. That's weird. 347 00:16:58,290 --> 00:17:00,413 You were still dating her when we started dating? 348 00:17:01,915 --> 00:17:05,174 Yeah. Maybe. Just, there was a time... A little overlap when... 349 00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:08,876 - I was trying to break up with Denise. - You took me to Santa Fe! 350 00:17:09,565 --> 00:17:10,594 Santa Fe. 351 00:17:10,719 --> 00:17:12,369 You told me that was your father. 352 00:17:12,808 --> 00:17:15,205 I know the pain is fresh, but the lie is really old. 353 00:17:16,307 --> 00:17:18,638 This was a mistake. I'm gonna leave. 354 00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:21,747 Claire, if I were you, I would kick him out. 355 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:25,158 Maybe he'd appreciate you more after he spent a lonely night in a hotel. 356 00:17:25,283 --> 00:17:26,453 At the Radisson. 357 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:27,622 By the airport. 358 00:17:30,206 --> 00:17:32,455 - You quit? - It was amazing. 359 00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:34,163 This is the new me, Cam. 360 00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:36,872 I am not letting people run my life anymore. 361 00:17:37,058 --> 00:17:39,330 I should be nervous, but I'm not. I'm excited for you. 362 00:17:39,498 --> 00:17:41,705 It's exciting. It's exciting. 363 00:17:41,891 --> 00:17:44,747 Because you followed your heart, and that is worth celebrating. 364 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,352 Cam, I just feel... 365 00:17:46,713 --> 00:17:47,524 so... 366 00:17:47,855 --> 00:17:48,854 liberated. 367 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,705 - And I'm not picking it up. - I like this guy! 368 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:56,966 I do, too. I mean, yes, we'll have to cut back a little bit. 369 00:17:57,090 --> 00:18:00,122 But isn't it worth it if you feel like you're living for the first time? 370 00:18:00,307 --> 00:18:02,080 - Totally. - What were we waiting for? 371 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,737 You will go back to teaching music, and then I'll find something in a... 372 00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:07,997 few months. And until then, all we need to do 373 00:18:08,164 --> 00:18:09,813 is just sit back and... 374 00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:12,163 watch this little miracle here dazzle us. 375 00:18:12,349 --> 00:18:14,279 - I'm tingling. - I am, too. 376 00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:17,697 It's like my heart is full for the first time in forever. 377 00:18:17,822 --> 00:18:19,331 God, it's really pounding. 378 00:18:20,465 --> 00:18:23,705 It's like I feel the weight of endless possibilities just sitting on my chest. 379 00:18:23,873 --> 00:18:25,247 She's not doing anything. 380 00:18:25,415 --> 00:18:27,226 - You're not panicking? - Of course I am! 381 00:18:27,351 --> 00:18:30,997 - Don't panic! If you panic, I panic! - I just quit my job! Cam! 382 00:18:31,164 --> 00:18:33,622 I am used to nice things! What are we gonna do? 383 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,886 Okay, just calm down. This is what we're gonna do. I'm going to... 384 00:18:37,462 --> 00:18:39,420 I'm gonna do what I'm trained to do: lie, 385 00:18:39,545 --> 00:18:42,831 grovel, debase myself until I get what I want. I am a lawyer, damn it. 386 00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:50,252 - Oh, no, you're right, the tie. - We'll find something better for you, 387 00:18:50,377 --> 00:18:52,163 something that works for all of us. 388 00:18:52,349 --> 00:18:54,288 There's no plan "b" here, cam. 389 00:18:54,456 --> 00:18:55,664 We have a mortgage. 390 00:18:56,139 --> 00:18:58,580 We have a child to support. I... 391 00:18:59,507 --> 00:19:00,664 It's gonna be okay. 392 00:19:01,422 --> 00:19:02,831 We're gonna figure it out. 393 00:19:03,015 --> 00:19:05,455 I just want you to be happy, and you will be happy. 394 00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:08,978 And that is something worth toasting. 395 00:19:11,423 --> 00:19:14,009 Let's drink the cheap stuff. We might have to sell that bottle. 396 00:19:18,654 --> 00:19:21,580 It's hard to sleep in a bed of lies, isn't it, Jay? 397 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:26,071 Kids get over these things pretty quick. He's probably sleeping like a baby. 398 00:19:26,196 --> 00:19:28,044 I'm sure he's wide awake... 399 00:19:28,178 --> 00:19:29,288 Full of guilt. 400 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,375 Well, I'm going to sleep. 401 00:19:41,231 --> 00:19:42,230 Damn it! 402 00:19:50,141 --> 00:19:51,831 - What are you doing up? - Waiting. 403 00:19:52,015 --> 00:19:54,165 - Waiting for what? - The truth. 404 00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:55,872 It wasn't a raccoon, was it? 405 00:19:56,273 --> 00:19:58,871 Oh, all right, you got me. I killed Shel. 406 00:19:59,288 --> 00:20:01,372 All right? I'm sorry. It was an accident. 407 00:20:01,557 --> 00:20:05,205 - Why didn't you just tell me? - I didn't want you to be upset with me. 408 00:20:05,391 --> 00:20:07,789 You and I got off to a rocky start. 409 00:20:08,015 --> 00:20:10,104 But lately it's been pretty good. 410 00:20:10,229 --> 00:20:13,497 I was afraid to mess this up if you knew that I was the one that killed your pet. 411 00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:16,534 Now you're the guy who killed my pet and made a stupid lie about it. 412 00:20:16,659 --> 00:20:18,580 It wasn't stupid. It was pretty clever. 413 00:20:21,015 --> 00:20:22,913 I was just trying to avoid past mistakes. 414 00:20:23,528 --> 00:20:24,330 Look... 415 00:20:25,317 --> 00:20:28,083 I know I can't make things all better right now, 416 00:20:28,208 --> 00:20:29,497 but maybe over time. 417 00:20:29,683 --> 00:20:30,531 Maybe. 418 00:20:32,044 --> 00:20:33,243 Get some rest. 419 00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:35,819 Since we're confessing things... 420 00:20:36,472 --> 00:20:40,038 - You know that scratch on your car? - The one that I can't buff out, yeah. 421 00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:43,080 - You should know how it happened. - I know how it happened. 422 00:20:44,837 --> 00:20:46,247 Raccoon did it. 423 00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:50,194 - Good night, Jay. - Good night, kid. 424 00:20:51,224 --> 00:20:54,604 Best thing I did was quit a miserable job and start my own business. 425 00:20:54,729 --> 00:20:56,393 - Thanks. - It's not gonna be easy, 426 00:20:56,518 --> 00:20:59,348 but that's why Gloria and I want to give you a little something to... 427 00:20:59,473 --> 00:21:01,814 - help you through it. - No, Dad, I can't. 428 00:21:01,981 --> 00:21:03,564 I want to, Mitch. 429 00:21:03,732 --> 00:21:07,266 Okay, but as soon as I'm back on my feet, I really want to... 430 00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:09,189 Oh, Dad. 431 00:21:10,716 --> 00:21:13,272 You tried to give me this 20 years ago when my pet snake died. 432 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,564 - I did? - Yes. 433 00:21:15,194 --> 00:21:16,476 Zsa-Zsa Ga-boa. 434 00:21:16,601 --> 00:21:17,847 Oh, that's adorable. 435 00:21:18,455 --> 00:21:20,389 And you really didn't know that he was gay? 436 00:21:20,557 --> 00:21:22,005 I must have, right?