1 00:00:04,978 --> 00:00:06,552 Aloha, Lily! 2 00:00:07,072 --> 00:00:09,768 Let's do it one more time. The dog was blocking her face. 3 00:00:09,893 --> 00:00:11,792 No, we're not doing it for a third time. 4 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,630 There she is! The prettiest white woman in Maui. 5 00:00:14,755 --> 00:00:15,606 Milady. 6 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:17,608 Actually, Claire and I 7 00:00:17,776 --> 00:00:20,362 were supposed to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon, 8 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,339 but something else came up. 9 00:00:22,829 --> 00:00:24,959 - I got pregnant with Haley. - My bad! 10 00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,857 We didn't even have a proper wedding. 11 00:00:26,982 --> 00:00:29,211 We just went down to the courthouse on a Tuesday. 12 00:00:29,336 --> 00:00:32,967 The judge sentenced me to life with no chance of parole. 13 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,134 - You begged me to marry you. - It's true. I did. 14 00:00:36,981 --> 00:00:39,213 Hold on, my bride. Allow me. 15 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,763 What are you doin'? 16 00:00:40,888 --> 00:00:42,684 Being romantic. God, you're solid. 17 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,760 Sweetie, put me down. Go on. Okay. 18 00:00:44,885 --> 00:00:47,848 Honey, come on. Let's turn this vacation into a honeymoon. 19 00:00:47,973 --> 00:00:49,794 Sweet pea, I'm a mom traveling with my kids. 20 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:53,322 For me, this is not a vacation. It's a business trip. Let's go. 21 00:00:57,395 --> 00:00:59,205 - This'll do. - It's beautiful. 22 00:01:01,301 --> 00:01:03,617 Welcome to the Four Seasons Maui. 23 00:01:03,785 --> 00:01:05,537 What do you think, Manny? 24 00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:08,684 I'm home. 25 00:01:09,224 --> 00:01:11,646 Subtitles by Kevin & Tyno 26 00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:13,762 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 27 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:26,412 I can't believe we have our own hotel room. 28 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,632 Score! There's an iron in here! 29 00:01:29,945 --> 00:01:32,967 Don't you want to keep our room neat? In case we entertain. 30 00:01:33,277 --> 00:01:34,670 Who would we entertain? 31 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,146 I noticed some lovely tweens down by the kids club. 32 00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:39,348 Maybe we can find a nice spot near them by the pool 33 00:01:39,473 --> 00:01:41,467 and send over a couple of virgin mai tais. 34 00:01:41,592 --> 00:01:44,281 They may be interested in two sophisticated men like us. 35 00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:48,837 I am a bathroom martian. 36 00:01:49,272 --> 00:01:51,044 Beep. Boop. Boop. 37 00:01:51,213 --> 00:01:54,050 I'm from the nebula of the great toilet. 38 00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:56,462 Beep. Boop. Beep. Boop. Bop. 39 00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:59,372 I want the biggest cheeseburger you got. 40 00:01:59,497 --> 00:02:01,464 Instead of salad, I want fries. 41 00:02:01,713 --> 00:02:03,974 Instead of fruit, I want chili fries. 42 00:02:04,229 --> 00:02:07,513 Haley, sweetie, put the phone down and put on some sunscreen, please. 43 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:10,500 We have got to stay on these kids all day, or else they're gonna burn. 44 00:02:10,668 --> 00:02:11,569 Totally. 45 00:02:11,694 --> 00:02:13,929 They put on the littlest bit of sunscreen in the morning, 46 00:02:14,054 --> 00:02:16,069 and they think it's got them covered for the... 47 00:02:16,195 --> 00:02:18,015 Are you watching Gloria in my sunglasses? 48 00:02:18,184 --> 00:02:20,645 Is she moving in slow motion, or is my brain doing that? 49 00:02:20,813 --> 00:02:23,108 - Phil, this is important. - Go ahead. I'm glistening. 50 00:02:23,508 --> 00:02:25,616 Hey, everybody! We're on our way to see 51 00:02:25,741 --> 00:02:27,659 the world's largest banyan tree. Anybody? 52 00:02:27,784 --> 00:02:31,037 Now, why the hell would anyone want to leave paradise, 53 00:02:31,163 --> 00:02:34,047 take a hot bus ride to see a tree? 54 00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:36,260 The great thing about Cameron 55 00:02:36,428 --> 00:02:38,650 is that he's adventurous, like I am. 56 00:02:38,775 --> 00:02:42,583 We both like to immerse ourselves in the culture and get to know the locals. 57 00:02:42,708 --> 00:02:45,870 We've made friends all over the world. We're still in touch with Elunga, 58 00:02:45,995 --> 00:02:48,409 a man we met on safari in Tanzania. 59 00:02:48,943 --> 00:02:51,370 We actually send him all of our old clothes. 60 00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:54,710 He was a very nice man when we met him, 61 00:02:54,835 --> 00:02:58,095 but based on his recent letters, I have a small fear he's become a warlord. 62 00:03:00,824 --> 00:03:03,940 Jay, I'm gonna go to the gym to work out a little bit. You want to come? 63 00:03:04,108 --> 00:03:06,218 I just ordered an extra-long straw 64 00:03:06,343 --> 00:03:08,073 to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up. 65 00:03:09,979 --> 00:03:11,331 Ah, look at this. 66 00:03:11,595 --> 00:03:12,646 My brother. 67 00:03:13,449 --> 00:03:16,291 - What's up, jackass? - Happy Birthday, dumb son of a bitch. 68 00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:18,051 Ha! Birthday's tomorrow, moron. 69 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:19,923 I never understood this relationship. 70 00:03:20,048 --> 00:03:21,436 So, 63, right? 71 00:03:21,561 --> 00:03:22,683 Hey, you can count. 72 00:03:22,808 --> 00:03:25,010 You know dad was 63 when he died. 73 00:03:26,056 --> 00:03:28,173 - Hello? - Thanks for reminding me. 74 00:03:28,298 --> 00:03:30,489 Ah, don't worry. He never took caref himself. 75 00:03:30,614 --> 00:03:32,490 He ate like crap and drank too much. 76 00:03:32,615 --> 00:03:34,245 So, anyway, Irene's begging me... 77 00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:36,272 Gloria, wait up. I'm comin'. 78 00:03:40,264 --> 00:03:43,116 I was thinking we book a couple's massage. 79 00:03:43,772 --> 00:03:45,357 I accidentally looked in on one. 80 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,486 They seemed really relaxed until they noticed me. 81 00:03:47,654 --> 00:03:49,270 Haley, get off the phone. 82 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,909 Luke! Pull up your trunks! 83 00:03:51,077 --> 00:03:52,996 This bathing suit looks great on you. 84 00:03:53,165 --> 00:03:55,417 Thanks, sweetie. Haley, come on. Off the phone. 85 00:03:55,542 --> 00:03:57,708 No way! Kira got her hair straightened? 86 00:03:59,266 --> 00:04:01,514 Consider this a grand gesture of my love. 87 00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:04,895 What are you... Oh, my God! 88 00:04:05,063 --> 00:04:06,169 What did you do? 89 00:04:06,294 --> 00:04:09,157 Phil, what are you thinking? That is an expensive cellphone. 90 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,810 It's just the beginning. 91 00:04:10,935 --> 00:04:13,355 Buckle your seatbelt, lady. You're being wooed. 92 00:04:13,789 --> 00:04:15,966 In nature, fathers are known to eat their young. 93 00:04:16,091 --> 00:04:18,321 Is it because they're delicious? No. 94 00:04:18,446 --> 00:04:21,299 It's because they want to give their female... 95 00:04:21,617 --> 00:04:23,745 bear, giraffe, what have you... 96 00:04:23,870 --> 00:04:25,822 the honeymoon they never had. 97 00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:29,485 Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, 98 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:32,313 but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it. 99 00:04:33,644 --> 00:04:34,437 What? 100 00:04:40,665 --> 00:04:41,719 Come on, sleepy! 101 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:46,228 Come on, honey! Get out of bed! I just booked us on an outrigger. 102 00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:48,961 But it's your birthday. You don't want to sleep in? 103 00:04:49,086 --> 00:04:51,405 No, no. I just came from the gym. Guess how much I benched. 104 00:04:51,573 --> 00:04:54,049 - I don't know. 500 pounds. - 500 pounds? 105 00:04:54,175 --> 00:04:55,330 What am I, a forklift? 106 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:59,749 To tell you the truth, the call from my brother scared the hell out of me. 107 00:04:59,874 --> 00:05:02,020 I decided to get in better shape quick. 108 00:05:02,145 --> 00:05:04,598 Didn't want to end up like my old man. 109 00:05:04,919 --> 00:05:07,256 Although he did die doing what he loved... 110 00:05:07,381 --> 00:05:10,527 refusing service to hippies who came into his store. 111 00:05:10,917 --> 00:05:12,850 Manny's the worst roommate ever. 112 00:05:12,975 --> 00:05:14,572 Everything he finds, he folds. 113 00:05:14,697 --> 00:05:16,295 It's only for a few more days. 114 00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:18,289 Last night we had a fire drill. 115 00:05:18,414 --> 00:05:20,685 Not the hotel. Just us. 116 00:05:24,422 --> 00:05:27,147 So, what's today's big adventure? 117 00:05:27,273 --> 00:05:28,980 I'll bet the kids want to go with you. 118 00:05:29,148 --> 00:05:31,640 Well, it is a big one the lavender ranch, 119 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,350 where they grow 45 different varieties of lavender. 120 00:05:34,475 --> 00:05:37,037 You hear that, kids? 45 different varieties. 121 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,791 I can't sell that. Go with God. 122 00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:41,209 Well, more lavender for us. 123 00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:42,716 When Mitchell and I first met, 124 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,881 I may have exaggerated my interest in adventurous travel 125 00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,858 by implying that I had any. 126 00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:50,558 But it's one of the things he loves most about me, 127 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:54,321 and I can't tell him the truth now. It would be like Lewis telling Clark 128 00:05:54,446 --> 00:05:55,954 that he didn't like to walk. 129 00:05:56,079 --> 00:05:57,181 Side note... 130 00:05:57,569 --> 00:06:00,355 we're very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark. 131 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,527 Clark bought a big, sparkly belt in New Orleans 132 00:06:02,652 --> 00:06:05,154 that he calls his "Louisiana purchase." 133 00:06:05,941 --> 00:06:08,114 Mom, Haley keeps stealing my iPod. 134 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,330 All my music is on my phone. What else am I supposed to do? 135 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:13,106 Manny watches the news. 136 00:06:13,232 --> 00:06:14,985 You guys don't even watch the news. 137 00:06:16,011 --> 00:06:18,437 Hi. Sorry, folks. This pool is for adults only. 138 00:06:19,633 --> 00:06:21,279 - Don't turn around. - What? 139 00:06:21,404 --> 00:06:22,731 Trust me. Just keep walking. 140 00:06:22,856 --> 00:06:24,633 Wait. Where are you guys going? 141 00:06:25,336 --> 00:06:26,128 Guys? 142 00:06:27,194 --> 00:06:28,645 What just happened? 143 00:06:32,037 --> 00:06:35,123 So, we can drink lavender tea while eating lavender scones. 144 00:06:35,249 --> 00:06:36,072 Oh, neat. 145 00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:38,703 So is this an all-day thing, or... 146 00:06:38,871 --> 00:06:40,770 Oh, no. I know what you're thinking, Cam. 147 00:06:40,895 --> 00:06:43,713 Don't worry, we'll still have time for the whaling village. 148 00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:44,803 Good. 149 00:06:46,257 --> 00:06:47,049 Okay. 150 00:06:50,205 --> 00:06:51,105 I can't. 151 00:06:51,732 --> 00:06:53,482 - What? - I don't want to go. 152 00:06:53,650 --> 00:06:56,905 I know I said I'm not a stay-by-the-pool type of guy, but I really am, Mitchell. 153 00:06:57,073 --> 00:06:59,322 - What are you saying? - I'm saying that I like adventure, 154 00:06:59,447 --> 00:07:02,292 but not every minute of every day. Can you just go by yourself? 155 00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:04,461 But the lavender ranch... 156 00:07:05,044 --> 00:07:07,469 it's something two men are meant to do together. 157 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:08,888 On or off, folks? 158 00:07:09,651 --> 00:07:11,822 - Well, I'm on. - I'm off. 159 00:07:15,632 --> 00:07:18,989 Think about what you're missing, Cam. It's an entire ranch full of lavender. 160 00:07:19,114 --> 00:07:22,368 You're not making the compelng case you think you are. 161 00:07:27,636 --> 00:07:30,836 Hey, you little monkeys! No standing around! 162 00:07:30,961 --> 00:07:32,001 There you go! 163 00:07:32,126 --> 00:07:33,818 Here goes another one! There you go! 164 00:07:33,943 --> 00:07:35,942 Here! Here comes another one! There you go! 165 00:07:38,407 --> 00:07:40,307 I thought you were one of ours. 166 00:07:41,746 --> 00:07:44,626 Be careful. You're gonna hurt somebody... like you. 167 00:07:44,794 --> 00:07:47,089 Don't get too comfortable. I reserved us a tennis court. 168 00:07:48,072 --> 00:07:51,206 I thought that one of the advantages of marrying an older guy 169 00:07:51,331 --> 00:07:53,507 was that I was going to be able to relax. 170 00:07:53,632 --> 00:07:56,485 But all the swimming and running and rowing... 171 00:07:56,752 --> 00:08:00,324 it's just like how some of my relatives got into this country. 172 00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:03,664 You know? You look prettier now than the day we got married. 173 00:08:04,046 --> 00:08:06,353 Oh, honey, and you are even more handsome. 174 00:08:07,232 --> 00:08:08,939 I did pushups in the bathroom. 175 00:08:09,148 --> 00:08:10,962 - You're funny. - You're nice. 176 00:08:11,087 --> 00:08:12,789 I have always been nice. 177 00:08:13,221 --> 00:08:14,701 I've always been funny. 178 00:08:14,826 --> 00:08:15,619 Well. 179 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:18,666 Mom? 180 00:08:19,414 --> 00:08:20,219 Dad? 181 00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:22,546 Ignore her. That could be anyone. 182 00:08:23,914 --> 00:08:25,841 Phil and Claire Dunphy? 183 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:29,887 Yes, Haley? Honey, what is it? 184 00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:33,559 I'm gonna go get some shaved ice at the hotel next door with some kids. 185 00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:34,851 What kids? 186 00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:36,730 Just some kids I met at the pool. 187 00:08:37,263 --> 00:08:38,783 Okay, I should go with her. 188 00:08:38,908 --> 00:08:41,435 Claire, no. You have to learn to let go. 189 00:08:42,214 --> 00:08:45,767 Turning a family vacation into a honeymoon takes commitment. 190 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,576 You can do it. 191 00:08:48,438 --> 00:08:49,789 Eye of the tiger. 192 00:08:50,592 --> 00:08:51,787 Hello? 193 00:08:52,179 --> 00:08:53,649 I should at least meet them. 194 00:08:53,774 --> 00:08:57,768 That is not eye of the tiger. 195 00:09:02,981 --> 00:09:05,171 All right, hey, honey. Go and have fun, 196 00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:06,907 but don't get in anybody's car 197 00:09:07,032 --> 00:09:10,298 and be back in time for your grandfather's birthday dinner, okay? 198 00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:11,522 Thank you! 199 00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:15,447 Oh, God. 200 00:09:16,594 --> 00:09:19,980 That feels weird and good all at once. 201 00:09:20,105 --> 00:09:23,559 I know. I was leaning up against that nozzle a minute ago. 202 00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:29,336 Hey, you're back. How was it? 203 00:09:30,143 --> 00:09:32,884 It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my entire life. 204 00:09:33,052 --> 00:09:34,596 - You know who was there? - Who? 205 00:09:36,069 --> 00:09:37,977 He was so blown away by the beauty of it, 206 00:09:38,338 --> 00:09:40,923 he sat down at their lavender piano and played "Tiny Dancer." 207 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:43,405 And we bonded, because he, too, likes adventure. 208 00:09:43,573 --> 00:09:46,286 - Did that really happen? - No, that didn't. I'm just... 209 00:09:46,648 --> 00:09:48,737 trying to get back at you for bailing on me. 210 00:09:48,862 --> 00:09:50,554 I'm sorry. If it means anything, 211 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,219 we've been relaxing, doing nothing. You can join us tomorrow. 212 00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:54,636 I can't. I just don't... 213 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,732 - I don't find relaxing that relaxing. - I understand. You are who you are. 214 00:09:59,442 --> 00:10:01,692 You know what? I think it's because of my parents. 215 00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:03,113 It always is. 216 00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:08,334 Vacation with my Mom and Dad was them sitting around like statues. 217 00:10:08,459 --> 00:10:11,136 The only thing that me and Claire could do for excitement was... 218 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,718 was sit around and listen to my skin sizzle. 219 00:10:14,886 --> 00:10:16,098 You poor thing. 220 00:10:17,124 --> 00:10:20,896 So that's why, when I'm on vacation, I want to go out and meet the locals. 221 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,568 I want to immerse myself in the culture. 222 00:10:23,693 --> 00:10:25,604 I don't want to sloth around... 223 00:10:26,128 --> 00:10:28,231 Sweet Lady Gaga, that is good. 224 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,841 Oh, thank you. 225 00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:37,597 What's this called? 226 00:10:37,986 --> 00:10:38,849 Happiness. 227 00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:44,638 I'm curious. 228 00:10:44,763 --> 00:10:48,202 Is there any sand left on the beach, or did you bring it all to our bathroom? 229 00:10:48,817 --> 00:10:50,289 Sorry, Mom. 230 00:10:50,596 --> 00:10:52,969 And now you're sitting on my linen jacket. 231 00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:56,232 - I guess I can't have nice things. - I'm sorry. 232 00:10:56,357 --> 00:10:58,506 - I didn't know it was there. - It's okay. 233 00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:02,939 - I'm wearing that tonight. - I'm wrinkling your linen! 234 00:11:03,977 --> 00:11:05,486 You know what? Out! 235 00:11:05,785 --> 00:11:07,997 I want you out. This isn't working! 236 00:11:08,122 --> 00:11:10,704 I don't care where you go, as long as you don't stay here! 237 00:11:10,872 --> 00:11:14,128 - What are you saying? - What don't you understand about "out"? 238 00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:17,144 Fine. I'll just move in with my sisters. 239 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,018 Who will pee all over the bathroom floor? 240 00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:24,064 I was brushing my teeth at the same time. 241 00:11:25,049 --> 00:11:26,352 You try and do that. 242 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:30,475 - What did you do today? - I napped. 243 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,451 - You did? - I haven't napped in years. 244 00:11:32,576 --> 00:11:35,006 - It feels good, doesn't it? - Good and weird. 245 00:11:35,131 --> 00:11:37,259 Like that one nozzle in the infinity pool. 246 00:11:37,384 --> 00:11:39,395 I wouldn't know. Phil was hogging it. 247 00:11:41,141 --> 00:11:43,228 Is it me, or is Lily more relaxed, too? 248 00:11:43,396 --> 00:11:46,341 She is. I think it's because she's really picking up on our energy. 249 00:11:46,466 --> 00:11:49,059 It's like, if we're tense, she's gonna be tense. 250 00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:52,106 We need to bring this new energy home. It's gonna make us better parents. 251 00:11:54,248 --> 00:11:56,448 - What? What happened? - You didn't bring her out! 252 00:11:56,573 --> 00:11:57,798 I thought you had her. 253 00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:02,683 Come on. Let me paint you. 254 00:12:02,851 --> 00:12:05,397 Oh, sweetie, that is so creepy. 255 00:12:06,478 --> 00:12:08,006 Where is everyone? 256 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:11,952 Let me just say what everyone's thinking. 257 00:12:12,745 --> 00:12:14,248 My jacket's a mess. 258 00:12:14,373 --> 00:12:18,029 It wouldn't be, but someone used the iron to make grilled cheese. 259 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,052 I had bread, I had cheese, and I had an iron. 260 00:12:21,178 --> 00:12:22,598 What was I supposed to do? 261 00:12:22,766 --> 00:12:23,938 Kids, kids. 262 00:12:24,063 --> 00:12:25,019 We don't care. 263 00:12:27,682 --> 00:12:29,373 I'm sorry I'm late. 264 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:30,489 Where is Jay? 265 00:12:30,657 --> 00:12:33,370 - He's not with you? - No, he came down a long time ago. 266 00:12:33,538 --> 00:12:36,167 - Don't worry. I'll have a look around. - He's probably 267 00:12:36,335 --> 00:12:38,880 in the ocean trying to pull a tugboat with his teeth. 268 00:12:40,598 --> 00:12:43,390 Look who decided to join us. And where is your sister? 269 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,519 She is in our bathroom throwing up. 270 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:46,896 What happened? 271 00:12:47,064 --> 00:12:49,607 You're not going to like this as much as I do, but... 272 00:12:49,732 --> 00:12:50,654 she's drunk. 273 00:12:52,846 --> 00:12:54,958 I knew I never should have let her go. 274 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,335 That's awesome. 275 00:12:56,753 --> 00:12:59,356 Guaranteed our bathroom is still messier. 276 00:13:02,807 --> 00:13:04,668 Where is the elevator? 277 00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:07,471 Where? I don't know! I'm taking the stairs! 278 00:13:07,596 --> 00:13:09,448 Lily, we're coming for you. 279 00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:17,058 Hey, you. Where you headed? 280 00:13:17,251 --> 00:13:18,737 Remember earlier, in the pool, 281 00:13:18,862 --> 00:13:21,758 when you convinced me to let Haley go with complete strangers? 282 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,762 And you were totally on board, yeah. 283 00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,682 She got drunk, and she's throwing up. 284 00:13:25,850 --> 00:13:28,647 - She's just a kid. Who would serve her? - We did, honey. 285 00:13:28,815 --> 00:13:30,315 On a silver platter. 286 00:13:30,588 --> 00:13:33,949 You convinced me to relax and let go, and now this happens. 287 00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:38,162 I'm sorry, but we shouldn't feel bad about wanting time for ourselves. 288 00:13:39,243 --> 00:13:42,089 This isn't a honeymoon. We have kids. You have got to let this go. 289 00:13:42,215 --> 00:13:45,156 From now on, I am not losing sight of them for two seconds. 290 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,474 Nothing gets past me. 291 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,683 Did you find Jay? 292 00:13:49,808 --> 00:13:52,486 - I'm getting worried. - Sorry, I have to deal with Haley. 293 00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:56,342 You know what? I will deal with Haley. You go see if you can find Dad. 294 00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:58,080 I'll look for him out there. 295 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,197 Lily, where are you going, huh? 296 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:10,522 - Oh, my God. - I'm so sorry. 297 00:14:10,690 --> 00:14:12,234 Wow, what were you thinking? 298 00:14:12,402 --> 00:14:15,332 One of the kids had an I.D., and she bought some drinks. 299 00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:17,666 I tried one. 300 00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:20,459 And then another one. It was stupid. 301 00:14:21,744 --> 00:14:23,063 Yes, it was stupid. 302 00:14:23,189 --> 00:14:26,429 But you are really lucky this didn't end as badly as it could have. 303 00:14:27,398 --> 00:14:29,039 This is why we always say to you, 304 00:14:29,165 --> 00:14:31,373 "When you drink, you make bad decisions." 305 00:14:31,498 --> 00:14:33,531 I know. I know. I just... 306 00:14:35,301 --> 00:14:38,954 One minute, you're having wine coolers at Homecoming, and the next... 307 00:14:39,785 --> 00:14:42,545 The game of "Truth or Claire" sweeps your high school. 308 00:14:44,501 --> 00:14:46,302 Thanks for not yelling at me. 309 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,611 Oh, honey... That would just be cruel. 310 00:14:50,007 --> 00:14:51,646 I'll wait till you feel better. 311 00:14:53,118 --> 00:14:55,198 I don't think I'll ever feel better. 312 00:14:56,833 --> 00:14:59,412 Does this happen every time you drink? 313 00:15:03,897 --> 00:15:05,048 Yes, it does. 314 00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,497 Over here. 315 00:15:15,628 --> 00:15:17,403 - What are you doing? - I'm stuck. 316 00:15:17,528 --> 00:15:19,034 I laid down, my back went out. 317 00:15:19,203 --> 00:15:22,374 Oh, well, don't you worry. We're gonna get you out of here. 318 00:15:22,853 --> 00:15:25,132 - Grab on. - Phil, this might not be the best... 319 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,883 No, no. I'm just gonna rock you. 320 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:30,265 Like a hurricane. I'm kidding. You're too old to get that. Here we go. 321 00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,994 - Get someone who works here. - No, this is gonna work. 322 00:15:35,293 --> 00:15:38,183 - It's spasming. Don't move. - No. I don't want to get... 323 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,546 By the way, I just want to thank you for this trip. 324 00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:53,845 It's really been the vacation of a lifetime. 325 00:15:55,617 --> 00:15:56,526 Nothing weird. 326 00:15:57,938 --> 00:15:58,939 Aloha. 327 00:16:02,099 --> 00:16:04,542 I keep my wallet in my front pocket, so that's... 328 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,882 that's what that is. 329 00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,123 Neck going... 330 00:16:14,788 --> 00:16:15,789 I'm sorry. 331 00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:27,378 - Anyone! Anyone, help! - Call the security! 332 00:16:27,813 --> 00:16:29,408 Seal off the island! 333 00:16:30,481 --> 00:16:31,932 This way. This way. 334 00:16:36,353 --> 00:16:37,775 You looking for someone? 335 00:16:38,477 --> 00:16:41,491 - We were so worried. We got distracted. - We're idiots. 336 00:16:41,659 --> 00:16:44,863 Don't beat yourself up. I used to lose Manny all the time. 337 00:16:44,988 --> 00:16:48,045 Now I lost your father. These things happen. 338 00:16:49,444 --> 00:16:50,842 She's right, you know. 339 00:16:52,647 --> 00:16:54,481 Did she say my father's missing? 340 00:16:58,105 --> 00:17:00,969 We say we'll make time, but life gets in the way. 341 00:17:02,371 --> 00:17:05,011 I know we're parents, but can't we be lovers, too? 342 00:17:05,136 --> 00:17:07,415 This may be my worst birthday ever. 343 00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:10,215 - There you are. - Oh, hi, honey. 344 00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:12,644 He was stuck in a hammock. It was really funny. 345 00:17:12,769 --> 00:17:15,038 - I was on top of him for 20 minutes. - Go, now. 346 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,041 - Good night. - Honey. 347 00:17:18,784 --> 00:17:19,887 My back seized up. 348 00:17:20,012 --> 00:17:23,349 Because you overdid it after that phone call about your father. 349 00:17:23,474 --> 00:17:25,876 I can't believe I'm as old as he was. 350 00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:27,524 Let me sit down here. 351 00:17:31,812 --> 00:17:33,462 You'd have liked him, my old man. 352 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:34,664 I'm sure. 353 00:17:36,058 --> 00:17:37,853 And he'd have loved you. 354 00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:40,400 My God. That guy was a charmer. 355 00:17:40,848 --> 00:17:42,363 I know the type. 356 00:17:43,168 --> 00:17:44,669 We had a lot of fun. 357 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,985 But I'll tell you something. 358 00:17:48,373 --> 00:17:51,376 Our family vacations were nothing like this here. 359 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,217 One week a year in a rented cottage on Lake Erie, spiders this big. 360 00:17:57,456 --> 00:18:00,012 I just wish he could have seen how things turned out. 361 00:18:00,517 --> 00:18:03,448 Well, if you keep going like this, maybe you can tell him yourself. 362 00:18:03,573 --> 00:18:06,774 Or I can tell him, because you're about to kill me, Jay. 363 00:18:06,899 --> 00:18:10,502 My legs, my arms, my back... Everything is sore. 364 00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,088 So, I wore you out, huh? 365 00:18:12,396 --> 00:18:16,396 Oh, no. Don't get cocky, old man. When I sit down, I can still get up. 366 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,271 Okay. Come on. 367 00:18:21,522 --> 00:18:23,608 Come here. Come here. 368 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:27,801 The rest of the trip went better. Haley's room stopped spinning. 369 00:18:27,926 --> 00:18:29,943 - And the monkey? - There she is! 370 00:18:30,423 --> 00:18:34,157 Oh, honey, do you want some eggs Benedict? So creamy. 371 00:18:37,397 --> 00:18:40,250 Jay got back to the vacation he always wanted. 372 00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:50,482 Mitch and Cam managed to do some sightseeing at a banana plantation... 373 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,508 - Where they promptly lost Lily again. - Why did you dress her in jungle print? 374 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:58,281 - Because I thought it would be cute! - She'll think she's back in Vietnam. 375 00:18:59,319 --> 00:19:00,477 Lily, honey! 376 00:19:00,645 --> 00:19:01,792 Me and Claire? 377 00:19:03,926 --> 00:19:05,428 We had a great time. 378 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,908 But we never did get that honeymoon. 379 00:19:08,571 --> 00:19:11,595 I think I just expected a little too much from this vacation. 380 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,215 You were so sweet to try. 381 00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:14,456 It was dumb. 382 00:19:15,369 --> 00:19:17,745 - Like you said, the thrill is gone. - I never said that. 383 00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:19,071 No, it's over. 384 00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:20,844 But wait. 385 00:19:21,556 --> 00:19:23,244 Put a few seconds back on the clock. 386 00:19:24,856 --> 00:19:26,779 The kid still has a few moves. 387 00:19:26,947 --> 00:19:27,978 Oh, my God. 388 00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:30,870 I figured out why we couldn't have a honeymoon. 389 00:19:31,932 --> 00:19:33,501 Because we never had a wedding. 390 00:19:34,105 --> 00:19:35,156 Oh, my God. 391 00:19:36,031 --> 00:19:38,361 I still can't tell if you think this is lame or cool. 392 00:19:39,694 --> 00:19:41,646 I think it's incredibly cool. 393 00:19:43,355 --> 00:19:45,906 - I finally can walk you down the aisle. - Daddy! 394 00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:49,643 - You better walk me. - Okay. I'll try. 395 00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:53,950 We're here today to celebrate the renewing of the marriage vows 396 00:19:54,075 --> 00:19:55,270 of Phil and Claire. 397 00:19:55,635 --> 00:19:59,638 On this day, they've chosen to reaffirm their love for each other. 398 00:20:00,262 --> 00:20:01,630 You may kiss your bride. 399 00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:05,607 I present to you, still as husband and wife, 400 00:20:05,775 --> 00:20:07,277 Mr. And Mrs. Dunphy. 401 00:20:37,964 --> 00:20:41,262 Welcome to the non-stop flight from Maui to Los Angeles. 402 00:20:41,430 --> 00:20:43,426 Thank you for choosing Continental Airlines. 403 00:20:43,551 --> 00:20:44,775 Thank you. 404 00:20:45,199 --> 00:20:46,500 You know, honey, 405 00:20:47,325 --> 00:20:50,250 if anything were ever to happen to me, I would want you to get remarried. 406 00:20:52,075 --> 00:20:53,346 That was a little fast. 407 00:20:53,471 --> 00:20:55,923 Oh, no. I just want to make you happy. 408 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:01,493 - Any idea of who you would marry if... - Vicki Conroy, probably. 409 00:21:01,618 --> 00:21:05,293 She works in my office. She's very organized. The kids love her. 410 00:21:05,418 --> 00:21:07,397 - Are you guys talking about Vicki? - Yeah. 411 00:21:07,565 --> 00:21:08,858 Mom, she's awesome. 412 00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:15,156 Just so you know, if something were to happen to me... 413 00:21:15,282 --> 00:21:17,242 Something's gonna happen to you all right.