1 00:00:05,609 --> 00:00:08,592 How can we don't have the same number of containers and lids? 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,466 Why would they ever get separated? 3 00:00:10,591 --> 00:00:12,791 Built-up resentment, money issues, 4 00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:14,621 met a younger lid. 5 00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:17,602 Mom, where's my science homework? 6 00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:19,404 It's over there on the table. 7 00:00:19,601 --> 00:00:21,545 So, Alex, honey, what's going on? 8 00:00:21,713 --> 00:00:22,838 Anything exciting? 9 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:24,923 Any boys? 10 00:00:26,801 --> 00:00:30,095 I'm feeling a little bit disconnected from Alex right now. Last week, 11 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,556 I picked up her cellphone thinking it was mine, 12 00:00:32,681 --> 00:00:35,212 and I accidentally read a few flirty text messages 13 00:00:35,337 --> 00:00:37,936 that were probably from a boy in her class, which is fine. 14 00:00:38,754 --> 00:00:40,105 Or they're from a drifter. 15 00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:43,317 Come on, isn't there something you wanna share with your mommers? 16 00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:45,977 Don't call yourself "mommers." 17 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:53,410 He blew his lid when she tried to contain him. 18 00:00:56,448 --> 00:00:58,855 Subtitles by MiniBen314 19 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:01,043 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 20 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:15,557 - Okay. What do you think? - I like it. 21 00:01:15,725 --> 00:01:17,726 - But you don't love it. - I do. I love it. 22 00:01:17,894 --> 00:01:19,853 As much as you loved the other one? 23 00:01:24,342 --> 00:01:27,449 The house is on fire. I only have time to grab one shirt. 24 00:01:27,574 --> 00:01:28,654 Which one do I take? 25 00:01:28,941 --> 00:01:30,489 The correct answer is take Lily. 26 00:01:30,795 --> 00:01:32,908 - After that. - Okay, the blue one. 27 00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:34,512 Because the gray one washes me out. 28 00:01:35,370 --> 00:01:37,982 You can't go wrong here. Everything you've tried on looks great. 29 00:01:38,107 --> 00:01:40,707 - I love you in both of them. - You're so nice to me. 30 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,797 Mitchell has a problem with 31 00:01:46,965 --> 00:01:49,261 public displays of affection. 32 00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:52,755 I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, 33 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,399 he high-fived me. 34 00:01:54,768 --> 00:01:56,152 Two problems with that... 35 00:01:56,277 --> 00:01:58,336 One, gays don't high-five. 36 00:01:58,815 --> 00:02:00,962 Two, gays don't high-five. 37 00:02:02,335 --> 00:02:03,335 I'm home! 38 00:02:04,701 --> 00:02:06,144 What smells so good? 39 00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:09,452 I'm making chunchullo, a traditional Colombian dish, 40 00:02:09,577 --> 00:02:11,947 - for dinner with the family tonight. - Chunchullo. 41 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,907 What is that... Like, tacos? 42 00:02:14,032 --> 00:02:15,534 Yes, like tacos. 43 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,702 No, it isn't. 44 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:18,704 - It's the small intestine of a pig. - Geez. 45 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,707 Why can't we eat regular food like normal people? 46 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:22,932 I told you, Jay. 47 00:02:23,057 --> 00:02:25,354 My grandmother, who rests in peace, 48 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,399 has been coming to me in my dreams, 49 00:02:27,524 --> 00:02:29,923 telling me that I'm losing touch with my roots. 50 00:02:30,575 --> 00:02:31,950 See, this is awkward, 51 00:02:32,075 --> 00:02:34,469 because my dead uncle Joe told me to have steak tonight. 52 00:02:34,637 --> 00:02:36,370 Jay, have some respect. 53 00:02:36,495 --> 00:02:38,557 My grandmother can hear you. 54 00:02:39,152 --> 00:02:41,018 What do you mean, she can hear us? 55 00:02:41,186 --> 00:02:43,020 Well, in our culture, we believe the dead 56 00:02:43,188 --> 00:02:45,053 - are all around us. - She's right, Manny. 57 00:02:45,178 --> 00:02:46,454 She could be right here, 58 00:02:46,579 --> 00:02:49,379 her bony fingers reaching out from the grave. 59 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:51,862 Keep it up, Jay. 60 00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,239 There's already one dead person in this room. 61 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:57,075 - You wanna make it two? - Sorry. I've got a printer to install. 62 00:02:58,411 --> 00:03:00,871 Have your grandmother run me up an iced tea in 10 minutes. 63 00:03:01,039 --> 00:03:03,373 She has a better chance of making that work than you! 64 00:03:03,994 --> 00:03:06,965 Why don't you save us the stomping and the swearing and call Phil? 65 00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:08,921 - He's good at that stuff. - Better than me? 66 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,041 Phil's not better than me at anything, 67 00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:13,926 except maybe making that stupid sound with his mouth. 68 00:03:19,514 --> 00:03:20,664 A what, what? 69 00:03:21,145 --> 00:03:22,395 You spit on me. 70 00:03:23,791 --> 00:03:26,438 Haley, honey, I need you to do something for me. 71 00:03:27,063 --> 00:03:28,440 Mom, my arm hurts. 72 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:31,818 Why don't you find out what it is before making up excuses to get out of it? 73 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,197 - Okay, what is it? - I need you to talk to your sister. 74 00:03:35,723 --> 00:03:38,408 I think that there's something going on with her and a boy. 75 00:03:38,805 --> 00:03:39,805 So? 76 00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:42,305 So, I am your mother, and it is my job to make sure 77 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,289 you girls don't get involved with a predator. 78 00:03:44,872 --> 00:03:47,834 Stop watching Dateline. And why can't you just talk to her? 79 00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:50,133 I have tried to talk to her. 80 00:03:50,258 --> 00:03:52,422 She won't talk to me. You know that. 81 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:55,259 That's because you get so weird every time a boy comes near us. 82 00:03:55,427 --> 00:03:57,219 I just don't want you girls to... 83 00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:59,638 To make the same mistakes that you did? 84 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,437 I'm not an idiot. I pick up on things. 85 00:04:04,562 --> 00:04:07,271 And I don't think you were the good girl you pretend you were. 86 00:04:07,988 --> 00:04:11,349 That is so untrue. I was a very good girl. 87 00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:15,189 Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them. 88 00:04:15,314 --> 00:04:18,926 But who you wish you were, and they need to try to live up to that person. 89 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:22,459 They're gonna fall short, but, better they fall short of the fake you 90 00:04:22,584 --> 00:04:24,997 - than the real you. - Which is why we don't hide anything. 91 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,003 That's the opposite of what I just said. 92 00:04:27,128 --> 00:04:28,628 I was not listening. 93 00:04:31,908 --> 00:04:33,858 I'll say it again... I love you in paisley. 94 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,974 Let me lock the door and draw the curtains. 95 00:04:36,099 --> 00:04:37,226 What does that mean? 96 00:04:37,351 --> 00:04:39,136 - It doesn't mean anything. - Good. 97 00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:42,078 You know exactly what it means. You won't kiss me in front of people 98 00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:43,910 because you're ashamed of who you are. 99 00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:45,913 And, yes... I went there. 100 00:04:46,038 --> 00:04:48,895 You can't say, "Yes, I went there," when you go there all the time. 101 00:04:49,063 --> 00:04:51,550 And, by the way, I'm the one who makes speeches on airplanes 102 00:04:51,675 --> 00:04:54,818 every time someone looks at us weird. I'm the one who gives my dad hell 103 00:04:54,986 --> 00:04:56,818 when he refers to you as my "friend". 104 00:04:56,943 --> 00:05:00,240 That's different. That's confrontation. But you know what takes real strength? 105 00:05:00,408 --> 00:05:01,366 Whining? 106 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,327 - Affection. - This is insane. 107 00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:05,454 Buying a shirt is not a kiss-worthy moment. 108 00:05:05,622 --> 00:05:08,956 I didn't know there was a list. Please, tell us... What is on the list? 109 00:05:09,081 --> 00:05:12,260 I'll tell you what's not on the list... Finding jalapeño-stuffed olives, 110 00:05:12,385 --> 00:05:15,424 making the light on Maple, every time we see a VW. 111 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,425 - You don't like "kiss-buggy"? - It's not a real game! 112 00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:20,552 It's just another way for you to be needy. 113 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,272 I don't appreciate you making me feel bad 114 00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:24,348 because I can't live up to your impossible standards. 115 00:05:24,686 --> 00:05:28,626 - Nobody kisses at a bowling alley! - I almost got a turkey! 116 00:05:39,518 --> 00:05:40,825 "Yello"? 117 00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:44,326 - Just a sec. I'll go get Claire. - Actually, it's you I'm calling. 118 00:05:45,104 --> 00:05:46,130 What was that? 119 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:50,415 - The cat. There's a cat. What's up? - Gloria's been missing her grandmother. 120 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,926 I've been trying to get this old picture of her printed, 121 00:05:53,051 --> 00:05:55,650 - but I can't get this new printer to... - I'll be right there. 122 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,548 Luke, grandpa needs us! 123 00:05:57,673 --> 00:05:59,656 Hells yes, I was glad to get the call. 124 00:05:59,781 --> 00:06:01,597 Jay's always around here fixing things, 125 00:06:01,722 --> 00:06:04,073 cracking jokes about my "delicate hands" or my... 126 00:06:04,523 --> 00:06:06,647 gag response to the smell of paint. 127 00:06:07,604 --> 00:06:09,159 Look who needs me now... 128 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,389 Mr. Hot-dog fingers who can't press "print" 129 00:06:11,514 --> 00:06:13,440 without hitting three extra keys. 130 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,442 You're in my house now, Jay! 131 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:22,653 Technically, we'll be in his house, but we'll be in my area... 132 00:06:22,778 --> 00:06:24,032 of his house. 133 00:06:25,957 --> 00:06:28,353 - So, I hear you have a boyfriend. - No, I don't. 134 00:06:28,478 --> 00:06:30,689 - Who is he? - I'm not talking to you about this. 135 00:06:30,814 --> 00:06:33,387 Come on. You're finally interesting. Just tell me. 136 00:06:33,512 --> 00:06:34,751 He's not my boyfriend. 137 00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:36,816 It's Jeremy Reed. 138 00:06:36,941 --> 00:06:38,547 He's just this boy that I... 139 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:39,715 Love? 140 00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,468 Well, have you guys kissed yet? 141 00:06:42,593 --> 00:06:45,804 - Well, what are you waiting for? - I'm not waiting. I'm 13. 142 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,723 - And you've never kissed a boy? - How old were you? 143 00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:50,162 Like 11. 144 00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:51,643 And it was beautiful. 145 00:06:52,388 --> 00:06:55,256 I was in Jackson Kaner's carpeted garage. 146 00:06:55,485 --> 00:06:56,773 - 11? - Yeah. 147 00:06:56,941 --> 00:06:59,670 So you better get on it, or else he's gonna think you're a lesbian. 148 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:00,902 He's not. 149 00:07:01,291 --> 00:07:04,641 I thought you were. You totally have the sandals for it. 150 00:07:06,348 --> 00:07:07,951 Let's see this bad boy. 151 00:07:09,415 --> 00:07:11,167 A P-750. Nice unit. 152 00:07:11,496 --> 00:07:13,593 I would have sprung for the 840, but I get it... 153 00:07:13,718 --> 00:07:15,832 Not everyone can handle that kind of horsepower. 154 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:18,628 Maybe the cordless phone was interfering, so I unplugged it. 155 00:07:18,796 --> 00:07:20,556 Good idea. Maybe we should run downstairs 156 00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:22,467 and unplug the toaster while we're at it. 157 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:23,809 Snap, dad. 158 00:07:24,118 --> 00:07:25,118 Toaster. 159 00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:28,221 We're kidding. Your cordless phone is 5.8 gigahertz. 160 00:07:28,389 --> 00:07:31,059 This is Wi-Fi. It's a totally different spectrum. 161 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,334 Walk with me? 162 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,480 Here's a little trick that I've found pretty useful with Claire. 163 00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:41,688 The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk 164 00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:46,071 "Command-P" makes the picture walk, walk, walk 165 00:07:48,818 --> 00:07:51,411 - How come it's not working? - It should be. 166 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,936 That should be printing. So... 167 00:07:57,448 --> 00:07:58,911 I'm gonna get a beer, beer, beer 168 00:07:59,036 --> 00:08:00,837 before I hit you in the head, head, head. 169 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,764 - Hey. What are you doing here? - Hi, Jeremy. 170 00:08:10,932 --> 00:08:12,766 - I wanna ask you something. - Sure, ask... 171 00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:14,771 Wait, don't talk yet. Here's the thing. 172 00:08:14,896 --> 00:08:17,623 We've been texting for a while, and it's been nice, 173 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,985 but I feel like it's leading to something else, and, 174 00:08:20,110 --> 00:08:23,318 I don't know if you do or not, but, I guess what I'm trying to say is, 175 00:08:23,486 --> 00:08:26,279 I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy 176 00:08:26,447 --> 00:08:27,862 asking for him to like her. 177 00:08:29,558 --> 00:08:31,010 God, that's from Notting Hill. 178 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,245 So dorky. But a really underrated movie. 179 00:08:33,584 --> 00:08:34,704 What's happening? 180 00:08:34,872 --> 00:08:36,272 I'm not a lesbian. 181 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:38,083 I would like for you to kiss me. 182 00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,909 I love watching you stir. 183 00:08:57,251 --> 00:08:58,470 Then I will stop. 184 00:08:58,595 --> 00:09:00,424 What? Are you still mad at me? 185 00:09:00,691 --> 00:09:03,656 Yes. You have to apologize for making fun of my culture, 186 00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:06,488 my beliefs, my chunchullo, my abuela. 187 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:07,613 I'm sorry. 188 00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:10,782 If you think your grandmother's here with us, I respect that. 189 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,242 Now, come here. 190 00:09:12,964 --> 00:09:14,906 Grandma! Where'd you come from? 191 00:09:15,031 --> 00:09:16,955 We're gonna have to get you a little bell. 192 00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:19,349 Enough, Jay! 193 00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:21,293 My culture is very important to me! 194 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,462 I've been working all day to share it with your family tonight, 195 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,840 and all you do is mock me! Just go! 196 00:09:27,222 --> 00:09:29,670 Honey, I'm sorry. I'm just teasing you. 197 00:09:29,795 --> 00:09:32,053 Instead of being the comedian, why don't you help me? 198 00:09:33,008 --> 00:09:34,073 What do you need? 199 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,450 - Slap the chicken. - Do what? 200 00:09:38,394 --> 00:09:40,895 In Colombia, when you cook in honor of the departed, 201 00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:43,940 you have to scare death away from the food 202 00:09:44,108 --> 00:09:46,065 to protect the people that are gonna eat it. 203 00:09:46,190 --> 00:09:47,540 Slap it and yell. 204 00:09:47,945 --> 00:09:49,321 That's the nuttiest... 205 00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:50,780 Calm down. 206 00:09:51,246 --> 00:09:52,746 Give me the chicken. 207 00:09:53,389 --> 00:09:54,439 Here we go. 208 00:09:57,371 --> 00:09:58,997 That's not scaring anything away. 209 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,815 When my grandfather used to cook, the whole house would shake. 210 00:10:06,881 --> 00:10:07,881 Louder. 211 00:10:09,959 --> 00:10:10,959 Higher. 212 00:10:12,969 --> 00:10:13,969 Louder! 213 00:10:14,256 --> 00:10:16,806 Higher! Louder! There! 214 00:10:16,974 --> 00:10:18,193 I made all that up. 215 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,160 That's not a real custom in Colombia. 216 00:10:20,285 --> 00:10:21,719 We're not lunatics. 217 00:10:21,844 --> 00:10:24,544 But you mess with us, and we mess with you. 218 00:10:24,926 --> 00:10:26,326 That's the custom. 219 00:10:28,986 --> 00:10:29,986 Louder! 220 00:10:33,285 --> 00:10:35,950 - Honey. Where'd you go? - Nowhere. Just for a bike ride. 221 00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:38,286 My God! Puh-lease tell me this text is wrong! 222 00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:40,538 Did you really just go over to that kid's house 223 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:43,064 and try and kiss him in front of a million people? 224 00:10:43,189 --> 00:10:44,918 - Did you do that? - You got a text? 225 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,065 Everybody knows. 226 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:49,214 Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? 227 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,049 This is all your fault! You're the one 228 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,261 who said I had to kiss him or I was a lesbian! 229 00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:55,220 Did you say that to her? 230 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,971 Don't turn this on me. Look at her shoes! 231 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:58,765 I'm never going back to school now. 232 00:10:58,933 --> 00:11:01,293 No, sweetheart. Yes, you are going back to school. 233 00:11:01,418 --> 00:11:03,937 But listen to me... Just because a boy sends you flirty texts 234 00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:06,767 - doesn't mean you have... - What? You read my texts? 235 00:11:06,892 --> 00:11:10,276 You read her texts? That's why you made me talk to her? 236 00:11:10,444 --> 00:11:11,851 You made her talk to me? 237 00:11:11,976 --> 00:11:14,364 I kind of feel like we're spinning out here a little bit. 238 00:11:14,532 --> 00:11:16,366 Look, Alex, the important thing here 239 00:11:16,534 --> 00:11:19,411 is that you have to be very careful how you behave around boys 240 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,746 because it is so easy to get a reputation. 241 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:24,332 I'm sorry I'm not a perfect little good girl like you were! 242 00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:28,695 Were you? 243 00:11:28,974 --> 00:11:29,974 Were you? 244 00:11:30,715 --> 00:11:32,115 I highly doubt it! 245 00:11:34,202 --> 00:11:37,196 Don't be such a chicken. There's no ghost in here. 246 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,379 I'm telling you, 247 00:11:38,504 --> 00:11:40,985 my mom said her dead grandmother was in the house. 248 00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:44,185 She said she felt her here this morning... in this room. 249 00:11:44,353 --> 00:11:46,353 Maybe your mom's mentally ill. 250 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,047 Who puts a router... 251 00:11:56,005 --> 00:11:57,155 in the attic? 252 00:11:59,374 --> 00:12:00,824 Did she have a limp 253 00:12:01,426 --> 00:12:02,476 and a cane? 254 00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:14,934 Ghost of Manny's great-grandma, 255 00:12:15,742 --> 00:12:17,581 if that's really you, 256 00:12:18,252 --> 00:12:19,718 show yourself! 257 00:12:25,274 --> 00:12:26,375 That's her! 258 00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:34,792 Come on! 259 00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:37,259 Why? 260 00:12:38,226 --> 00:12:39,864 Why? 261 00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:45,542 - Hi, grandpa. - How we doing, girls? 262 00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,832 - Mom ruined my life today. - I didn't. 263 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,418 Don't even talk to me! I didn't even want to come here. 264 00:12:51,457 --> 00:12:52,507 Well, okay. 265 00:12:52,758 --> 00:12:54,720 Snacks and and sodas are in the living room, 266 00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:57,230 but don't fill up... We've got intestines coming. 267 00:12:58,408 --> 00:13:01,340 Dad, if you're looking for your shoes, I think I know where they are. 268 00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:04,108 This happens to be a Colombian custom. Walking in the footsteps 269 00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:06,851 of the ancestors, blah, blah, blah. Beats slapping the chicken. 270 00:13:10,552 --> 00:13:12,690 - Here, I brought you a drink. - Wait a minute... 271 00:13:13,692 --> 00:13:14,734 sip it first. 272 00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:16,815 I'm not mad at you. 273 00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:19,422 I thought about it, and maybe you're right. 274 00:13:19,547 --> 00:13:21,741 - I can be a little needy sometimes. - Well... 275 00:13:21,909 --> 00:13:23,309 I appreciate that. 276 00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:25,676 And you're probably not entirely off base. 277 00:13:25,801 --> 00:13:28,122 I mean, lord knows I've got my quirks. 278 00:13:28,811 --> 00:13:31,334 And I'm not the most demonstrative guy around, but, 279 00:13:32,764 --> 00:13:34,212 I'm working on it. 280 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,964 - And I'm gonna help you. - Good. 281 00:13:36,132 --> 00:13:38,049 Just don't give up on me. 282 00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:39,050 Never. 283 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:43,221 Okay, everybody, let's gather around! Jay, come here. 284 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,640 Tonight we dine on the traditional 285 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:49,435 Colombian recipes of my abuela, my grandmother. 286 00:13:49,603 --> 00:13:52,021 And even though she's no longer with me, 287 00:13:52,189 --> 00:13:54,816 I am very happy because I have all of you. 288 00:13:56,027 --> 00:13:59,237 To Ana-María Rosa de la Immaculada Jimenez Morales. 289 00:14:04,371 --> 00:14:06,911 That was beautiful, Gloria, just like my Mitchell. 290 00:14:10,972 --> 00:14:12,375 Just slipped right off there. 291 00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:16,629 Cameron, what happened? 292 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:19,331 One moment you were there, the next, only shoes. 293 00:14:19,456 --> 00:14:22,104 I'll tell you what happened... Mitchell is embarrassed to kiss me 294 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,403 - in front of other people. - No, you ambushed me! 295 00:14:24,805 --> 00:14:27,291 Don't take it personally. When Mitchell was in High School, 296 00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:30,012 he was dating Robin Schiller. He would never kiss her, either. 297 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,748 That's because I was gay. 298 00:14:33,316 --> 00:14:34,821 What's your excuse now? 299 00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:38,735 It's not Mitch's fault. He gets it from his father. 300 00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:42,024 Jay doesn't like the lovey-dovey in public, either. 301 00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,232 I can't believe you're coming at me right now. 302 00:14:44,357 --> 00:14:46,583 I'm standing here with shoes around my neck, 303 00:14:46,708 --> 00:14:50,002 and for the better part of a half-hour, I screamed the death out of your meat. 304 00:14:50,127 --> 00:14:52,248 - Now, what do you want from me? - Don't you see? 305 00:14:52,535 --> 00:14:56,473 It's because of you that your son cannot kiss his own lover. 306 00:14:56,598 --> 00:14:58,716 - Don't say "lover." - We don't like "lover." 307 00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:00,960 Can we just eat? 308 00:15:01,998 --> 00:15:04,994 Tell Mitch that it's okay to kiss Cam in front of you. 309 00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:07,096 Why is that something we have to do? 310 00:15:07,264 --> 00:15:09,027 - We don't. - Of course we don't. 311 00:15:09,152 --> 00:15:12,602 I'm sorry that I don't want to make out with you in front of my whole family. 312 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:14,122 No need to apologize. 313 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,647 Gloria is right. 314 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:19,108 You being so emotionally closed off, makes it very difficult 315 00:15:19,276 --> 00:15:21,736 - for your children to show affection. - Really? 316 00:15:23,114 --> 00:15:25,336 You had trouble showing affection in public places? 317 00:15:25,751 --> 00:15:26,859 - Yes! - You? 318 00:15:27,814 --> 00:15:30,670 Was that before or after you were delivered to my door in a squad car, 319 00:15:30,795 --> 00:15:33,082 wearing nothing but your underwear and a police blanket? 320 00:15:33,207 --> 00:15:35,754 - My God. What? - You were arrested? 321 00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:38,795 - Awesome! - Not awesome. And I wasn't arrested. 322 00:15:38,963 --> 00:15:40,832 Your grandfather was just telling a joke. 323 00:15:40,957 --> 00:15:43,883 It was just a joke. I got a million of 'em. 324 00:15:44,051 --> 00:15:45,341 I did it! It's printing! 325 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,918 I had to download new firmware, install new drivers, 326 00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:51,891 change your encryption, and replace an ethernet cable in a 100-degree attic, 327 00:15:52,623 --> 00:15:55,019 while dodging particularly aggressive spiders, 328 00:15:55,926 --> 00:15:57,866 - but I did it! - Thanks. 329 00:15:59,630 --> 00:16:00,942 Okay. I guess that's it. 330 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:02,151 What? What's it? 331 00:16:02,477 --> 00:16:03,904 Wake up, dummy. 332 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,989 This is what we're talking about. 333 00:16:06,157 --> 00:16:09,409 This guy's been working like an imbecile all day for you. 334 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:12,481 People need something else... Kisses, hugs. 335 00:16:12,997 --> 00:16:14,380 What, for fixing a printer? 336 00:16:14,505 --> 00:16:16,332 That was fine. It was only four hours. 337 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,363 I tipped over a paint can and threw up a little, but I think... 338 00:16:19,488 --> 00:16:21,087 I think "thanks" about covers it. 339 00:16:21,255 --> 00:16:23,965 - What's wrong with "thanks"? - It's pretty much the bare minimum. 340 00:16:25,061 --> 00:16:27,593 For God's sakes, just say something. 341 00:16:27,761 --> 00:16:29,420 You want me to say something? 342 00:16:29,545 --> 00:16:31,179 How about "You're welcome"? 343 00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:34,976 How about "I'm so happy to be here for you all so I can take the blame 344 00:16:35,144 --> 00:16:36,386 for all your crap: 345 00:16:36,511 --> 00:16:38,146 I can't do this, I never did that." 346 00:16:38,449 --> 00:16:41,839 Trust me, I gave you twice as much as my father ever gave me. 347 00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:44,426 The man kissed me one time in my entire life. 348 00:16:44,551 --> 00:16:46,478 He came up, kissed me on the back of the head, 349 00:16:46,603 --> 00:16:49,115 said, "Goodnight, Becky." He thought I was my sister. 350 00:16:49,283 --> 00:16:52,583 Wait a minute. When was the last time you kissed Mitch? 351 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,038 What does that have to do with anything? 352 00:16:55,206 --> 00:16:57,915 - When was the last time he kissed you? - I don't remember. 353 00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,154 - It wasn't that long ago. - I was 12. 354 00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:02,295 12? This is the problem! 355 00:17:02,925 --> 00:17:04,731 Jay's dad doesn't kiss Jay, 356 00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:06,648 so Jay doesn't kiss Mitch, 357 00:17:06,773 --> 00:17:08,301 and Mitch is uptight. 358 00:17:08,469 --> 00:17:10,511 Okay, "uptight" was really not on the table. 359 00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:12,077 This is more about kissing. 360 00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:14,348 Jay, kiss your son. He's a mess. 361 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,184 Come on, now. 362 00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:17,764 We don't have to do that. 363 00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:18,989 Yes, you do. 364 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,443 Come on, do it. You're in front of your grandchildren. 365 00:17:23,952 --> 00:17:25,443 All right, all right! 366 00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:26,611 Shut up! 367 00:17:28,259 --> 00:17:29,447 Mitch, get over here. 368 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:32,128 - Now? Well, I feel weird now. - Don't be coy. 369 00:17:32,253 --> 00:17:34,827 What are you waiting for, a box of chocolates? Let's do this. 370 00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:48,466 That's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. 371 00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:51,954 All right, and now because I never want to hear this again... 372 00:17:52,633 --> 00:17:53,633 You. 373 00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:54,934 Not you. 374 00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:56,679 Daddy, I love you. 375 00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:00,625 Let's go eat chunchullo! 376 00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:04,768 You know it's made of pig intestines, right? 377 00:18:10,364 --> 00:18:11,414 Alex, wait. 378 00:18:11,643 --> 00:18:13,221 - What? - I want to talk to you. 379 00:18:13,346 --> 00:18:14,784 I don't want another lecture. 380 00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:17,370 It's not a lecture. I want to tell you something. 381 00:18:18,872 --> 00:18:20,706 Honey, I know exactly how you're feeling. 382 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,344 No, you don't. 383 00:18:24,921 --> 00:18:27,125 The joke that grandpa told tonight? 384 00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:28,250 That... 385 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,975 That happened. That... 386 00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:31,676 That was true. 387 00:18:32,257 --> 00:18:34,387 - So, you were arrested naked? - I wasn't naked! 388 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:37,098 And I was not arrested, per se. 389 00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:40,810 I was driven home one night by the police 390 00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:44,106 because my boyfriend and I had gone swimming 391 00:18:44,364 --> 00:18:47,539 in somebody's pool, and we didn't have bathing suits, 392 00:18:47,664 --> 00:18:50,194 and... Blah, blah, blah. The details aren't important. 393 00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:53,464 What matters is that everybody at school was talking about it. 394 00:18:53,704 --> 00:18:55,074 And I thought I would die. 395 00:18:56,557 --> 00:18:57,660 But it passed. 396 00:18:57,828 --> 00:18:58,828 I swear. 397 00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:02,447 And now, honey, I'm... I'm glad it happened. 398 00:19:02,865 --> 00:19:05,209 I've got a funny story to tell at dinner parties. 399 00:19:06,877 --> 00:19:09,833 So, how long did it take before you thought it was funny? 400 00:19:10,569 --> 00:19:11,569 Oh, God... 401 00:19:12,714 --> 00:19:13,714 10... 402 00:19:14,059 --> 00:19:15,609 - 15 years. - Great. 403 00:19:15,890 --> 00:19:17,560 What do I do about tomorrow? 404 00:19:17,685 --> 00:19:19,716 I don't think you have to worry about that. 405 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:26,823 Go, go, go. 406 00:19:27,697 --> 00:19:29,947 In Colombia, we kiss for everything 407 00:19:30,543 --> 00:19:33,279 because a kiss can mean so many different things. 408 00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:36,470 - There's no ghost in here, is there? - Not a chance. 409 00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:38,811 Sleep easy, kid. 410 00:19:41,874 --> 00:19:44,274 It can be the start of something new. 411 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:54,293 It can be how we say, "This is the person that I love." 412 00:19:54,418 --> 00:19:56,503 So who's a better kisser, me or your dad? 413 00:19:58,444 --> 00:19:59,894 It can be romantic. 414 00:20:00,654 --> 00:20:03,161 Just so you know, if my friends weren't there, 415 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:04,518 I would've said yes. 416 00:20:05,753 --> 00:20:07,603 So, if you still want to... 417 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,530 If it's okay... 418 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,041 Maybe we should hang out more first. 419 00:20:14,799 --> 00:20:17,615 This is only the second conversation we've had that wasn't by text. 420 00:20:19,076 --> 00:20:21,226 It can also be worth waiting for. 421 00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:25,122 What is this? 422 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,369 Just another nice thing I did for you while you made a fool of me. 423 00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,544 Manny let me in on your little tricks. 424 00:20:30,976 --> 00:20:33,426 - You feel bad now? - No. I feel good. 425 00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:44,190 That one is definitely my favorite. 426 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,866 Phil, you really don't have to do this. 427 00:20:48,991 --> 00:20:50,941 I can do it. I want to do it. 428 00:20:51,365 --> 00:20:54,615 It's silly to pay someone else just to do something... 429 00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:00,160 Wait! No, no, don't spill it! Sweetie, don't spill that! 430 00:21:00,285 --> 00:21:01,912 - That's on me! - Careful! Gosh! 431 00:21:02,355 --> 00:21:04,662 - Get up. You're good. - Get it off! 432 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,455 I got it. Got it off. 433 00:21:06,876 --> 00:21:08,408 - The face! - Not the face! 434 00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,584 All right, I'll pull it down! You're good! 435 00:21:10,752 --> 00:21:12,453 - It's on me. - I'm gonna have to... 436 00:21:12,578 --> 00:21:14,416 - I'll cut it off. - Good idea. 437 00:21:15,723 --> 00:21:17,008 Get a bucket, please!