1 00:00:09,344 --> 00:00:10,429 My God, mom. 2 00:00:10,597 --> 00:00:13,058 The party's like around the block. I'd be gone for two hours. 3 00:00:13,226 --> 00:00:14,937 That is two hours you could spend studying. 4 00:00:15,105 --> 00:00:17,065 I had been studying all weekend. 5 00:00:17,190 --> 00:00:19,950 No friends, no phone, just me alone with books. 6 00:00:20,075 --> 00:00:21,429 I feel like Alex... 7 00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:23,082 You're never alone with books. 8 00:00:23,207 --> 00:00:25,333 Really? Is that what you want me to turn into? 9 00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:27,661 Sweetheart, listen to me. This is the SATs, okay? 10 00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:29,884 It is not some stupid science quiz. 11 00:00:30,052 --> 00:00:33,241 If science quizzes are so stupid, why do you put mine up on the refrigerator? 12 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,968 Because we feel sorry for you, 'cause books are your friends. 13 00:00:36,093 --> 00:00:39,445 She wasn't studying last night. She was video-chatting the whole time. 14 00:00:39,613 --> 00:00:41,949 - Shut up! You are such a tattletale! - I knew it. 15 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,252 Girls, take it down a notch, because I... 16 00:00:44,539 --> 00:00:47,503 What's the hot topic on The View today, ladies? 17 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,844 Can you just please tell mom I can take a two-hour break and go to a party? 18 00:00:52,012 --> 00:00:53,013 No, ma'am. 19 00:00:53,138 --> 00:00:55,644 I'm not stepping into that one. We're not playing good cop/mom. 20 00:00:58,313 --> 00:00:59,314 I got it. 21 00:01:01,215 --> 00:01:03,368 - You call for a plumber? - No, we did not. 22 00:01:03,536 --> 00:01:06,122 - Yes. We did! We did! Plumber, hi. - We did? 23 00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:08,172 It's right up at the top of the stairs. 24 00:01:08,297 --> 00:01:09,458 - Really? - Thank you. 25 00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:11,258 But didn't I tell you I'd fix the tub? 26 00:01:11,427 --> 00:01:13,680 You did, and I think I was pregnant with Luke. 27 00:01:13,848 --> 00:01:17,480 That is not fair. I've done everything you've asked me to do around here. 28 00:01:17,605 --> 00:01:20,227 I fixed the step, didn't I? Look how solid it is! 29 00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:22,573 I'm like Shirley Temple and that black guy! 30 00:01:22,741 --> 00:01:25,246 - Bill "Bojangles" Robinson. - Bill "Bojangles" Robinson! 31 00:01:25,372 --> 00:01:26,581 I said it first! 32 00:01:26,749 --> 00:01:28,451 So, this is the problem. 33 00:01:28,576 --> 00:01:29,962 Faucet just keeps leaking. 34 00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:32,608 Yeah, it's a cracked washer... If I know my washers. 35 00:01:32,733 --> 00:01:34,471 And it's been leaking a little water. 36 00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:36,617 Yeah, could be a washer, 37 00:01:36,893 --> 00:01:38,771 a cracked valve, a stripped pipe. 38 00:01:38,939 --> 00:01:41,357 Well, I guess I'm not a professional plumber, 39 00:01:41,482 --> 00:01:43,809 but I have spent a huge amount of time in that tub. 40 00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:46,954 I can tell you from experience, or at least what it feels like in... 41 00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:51,486 Subtitles by Kevin & MiniBen314 42 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,676 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 43 00:02:05,156 --> 00:02:06,284 Good. You're back. 44 00:02:06,453 --> 00:02:09,375 I need you to help settle a spat between our blacksmith and the chimney sweep. 45 00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:11,837 Be nice. It took me 20 minutes to find my opera cloak. 46 00:02:12,005 --> 00:02:13,800 I can't believe you didn't have to rent it. 47 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,054 Please. Do you know how many times this has been paid? 48 00:02:16,222 --> 00:02:17,139 Has it? 49 00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:19,601 Well, our friend Pepper loves to throw theme parties. 50 00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:22,543 Yes, he does, and this weekend is his first annual 51 00:02:22,668 --> 00:02:24,428 "Oscar Wilde and Crazy Brunch." 52 00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:28,221 We're still recovering from his "Studio 54th of July" barbecue. 53 00:02:28,347 --> 00:02:29,873 They were fun at first. 54 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:33,140 But they have become a lot of work. You have to dress in costume. 55 00:02:33,265 --> 00:02:35,318 You have to assume a character. 56 00:02:35,975 --> 00:02:38,282 - I can't believe you ever dated him. - One date. 57 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:41,160 It was the '90s. We'd just lost princess Di. 58 00:02:41,823 --> 00:02:42,974 I was at sea. 59 00:02:45,293 --> 00:02:47,283 Can we just... Can we please cancel? 60 00:02:47,452 --> 00:02:48,798 I wish we could, but, 61 00:02:48,923 --> 00:02:51,524 you know he's still mad at us for missing passover. 62 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,504 Right. "Seder-day night fever"? 63 00:02:53,672 --> 00:02:55,090 Go get dressed and powdered. 64 00:02:56,073 --> 00:02:58,083 Pepper has done the impossible! 65 00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:00,310 He's made two gay men hate brunch. 66 00:03:05,946 --> 00:03:08,576 It might be easier just to pour the espresso right in the sugar. 67 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:11,591 Every morning. 68 00:03:12,044 --> 00:03:14,546 Jay, what are you wearing? You can't go to church like that. 69 00:03:14,714 --> 00:03:16,467 That settles it, then. I'm going golfing. 70 00:03:16,635 --> 00:03:19,013 You're gonna miss church again? Last Sunday, 71 00:03:19,181 --> 00:03:22,562 you had to go to the office. The week before, you had breakfast with a friend. 72 00:03:22,730 --> 00:03:26,236 And before that, you thought you had a cold that turned out not to be a cold. 73 00:03:26,405 --> 00:03:28,533 - Because I babied it. - You don't have to convince us. 74 00:03:28,701 --> 00:03:31,872 - You have to convince him. - Who, God? Me and God are good! 75 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,402 - How would you know? - Look. 76 00:03:33,527 --> 00:03:35,397 You feel God in church, which is great. 77 00:03:35,522 --> 00:03:37,592 I feel God out in nature, amongst his works. 78 00:03:38,007 --> 00:03:40,431 - Are you gonna go to church next week? - We'll see. 79 00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:43,521 I know what "we'll see" means. If you're done with church, just say it. 80 00:03:43,689 --> 00:03:46,025 - I'm done with church. - Don't say that! 81 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,774 I'm not going to church anymore. It's not the end of the world. 82 00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:51,301 Let's not make a big deal out... Hell... 83 00:03:51,747 --> 00:03:53,604 - Earthquake! - Iterremoto! 84 00:03:53,729 --> 00:03:56,460 - Vamos, vamos, Manny! Vamos, Jay! - Come on, Jay! 85 00:03:57,550 --> 00:03:58,551 Girls? 86 00:04:01,671 --> 00:04:03,059 This is stuck! 87 00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:07,463 - We're gonna die! We're gonna die! - We better not. 88 00:04:07,588 --> 00:04:10,494 If they find us in these outfits, It's gonna be very bad for the gays. 89 00:04:11,695 --> 00:04:12,790 We're okay! 90 00:04:12,915 --> 00:04:13,916 Dad? 91 00:04:15,432 --> 00:04:16,433 Buddy. 92 00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:17,571 You okay? 93 00:04:18,854 --> 00:04:20,334 That thing almost fell on me! 94 00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,987 I was sitting there, and it came this close to my head! 95 00:04:23,112 --> 00:04:25,808 It's all right. You're okay. You didn't get hurt. 96 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,325 Well, I'm not gonna wait around here until I do. 97 00:04:30,877 --> 00:04:32,284 That is a doozy. 98 00:04:36,127 --> 00:04:38,151 - Are you guys okay? - Yeah, we're fine. 99 00:04:38,276 --> 00:04:39,508 - You? - We're fine. 100 00:04:39,676 --> 00:04:41,878 That was really... Wait. Hold on. 101 00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:45,645 - Mitch, are you okay? - We're okay. We're okay. 102 00:04:45,813 --> 00:04:46,814 Phil and Claire? 103 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,549 I'm on the other line with them right now. One second. 104 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:53,452 - Shoot, we lost Phil. - We lost Phil? 105 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:54,830 We lost Phil? 106 00:04:56,376 --> 00:04:58,169 Great. Now Gloria's gone. 107 00:04:58,405 --> 00:04:59,856 Gloria's gone, too? 108 00:05:02,950 --> 00:05:04,683 Dios mio, Phil, you're alive! 109 00:05:04,851 --> 00:05:06,573 Yeah, of course I'm alive. 110 00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:10,007 For now. 111 00:05:10,132 --> 00:05:12,769 For months, Claire has been after me, 112 00:05:12,894 --> 00:05:14,245 and dogging me... 113 00:05:14,519 --> 00:05:17,545 "Anchor the cabinet to the wall. What if we have an earthquake? 114 00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:19,755 We've got kids in the house"... 115 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,992 So, it finally reached the point, 116 00:05:22,117 --> 00:05:24,624 where I had no choice but to just roll up my sleeves 117 00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:26,184 and tell her I did it. 118 00:05:31,070 --> 00:05:32,865 - Dad, get up here! - On my way... 119 00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:34,828 Seriously, I just fixed that! 120 00:05:35,997 --> 00:05:38,049 - What's wrong? - Mom's stuck! 121 00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:42,801 - You okay in there? - We're fine. The door is jammed. 122 00:05:45,918 --> 00:05:48,624 Well, let's try this together, okay? 123 00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:50,316 I'm gonna push. You pull. 124 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,823 On three. One, two, three... 125 00:05:55,942 --> 00:05:56,943 Nothing! 126 00:05:57,244 --> 00:05:58,248 Dang! 127 00:05:58,576 --> 00:06:01,480 Here's the thing. I wasn't pushing. In fact, I was pulling a little. 128 00:06:01,605 --> 00:06:04,323 It dawned on me that as long as Claire was stuck in the bathroom, 129 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,565 I'd have time to anchor the cabinet to the wall. 130 00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:09,176 It's like they say... Sometimes when God closes a door, 131 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,777 He closes it so hard that your wife can't get out. 132 00:06:12,945 --> 00:06:16,368 So, don't panic! I'm gonna get you out! I'm just gonna go get some tools! 133 00:06:16,536 --> 00:06:19,486 - Get a crowbar if you have one! - What is that supposed to mean? 134 00:06:19,611 --> 00:06:21,837 Like I'm some dandy who doesn't have a crowbar? 135 00:06:22,005 --> 00:06:23,799 You did just use the word "dandy." 136 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,805 "Dandy" is a term coined by miners in the 15th century. 137 00:06:27,771 --> 00:06:29,018 Just get us out of here. 138 00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:33,741 Dad, how long is it gonna take to get her out of there? 139 00:06:33,866 --> 00:06:34,867 Long time. 140 00:06:35,442 --> 00:06:39,038 Honey. Don't worry. Mommy is gonna be out soon. Don't panic. 141 00:06:40,353 --> 00:06:41,543 Wait a minute. 142 00:06:41,711 --> 00:06:43,506 You're not going to that party, young lady. 143 00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:46,405 No, I'm not going to the party. I'm just going downstairs. 144 00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,094 With your purse? 145 00:06:48,219 --> 00:06:51,272 Come on. Just cover for me this one time, and I... 146 00:06:51,952 --> 00:06:53,525 I'll drive you wherever you want. 147 00:06:54,007 --> 00:06:55,993 I want to go to the Museum of Tolerance. 148 00:06:56,118 --> 00:06:58,242 Fine. How far is Tolerance? 149 00:06:58,411 --> 00:07:01,750 I can hear the two of you scheming out there! Don't you dare leave this house! 150 00:07:02,242 --> 00:07:04,965 Why do you have to be such a psycho control freak? 151 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,553 You know what? Just for that, you are grounded one week! 152 00:07:07,721 --> 00:07:09,349 That's good parenting! 153 00:07:09,517 --> 00:07:12,563 Okay. Two weeks. Want to double it? Keep talking! 154 00:07:14,527 --> 00:07:16,947 Fine! Four weeks! Four! 155 00:07:17,115 --> 00:07:19,309 Double it again and make it 10 weeks! 156 00:07:20,697 --> 00:07:22,859 Do you not hear how much you need to study? 157 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,088 Mitchell, come on. We're gonna be late. 158 00:07:25,256 --> 00:07:27,009 I can't believe we have to do this. 159 00:07:27,177 --> 00:07:30,433 After the earthquake, it might be nice to be around similarly dressed people. 160 00:07:30,601 --> 00:07:32,991 That makes no... The earthquake! 161 00:07:34,563 --> 00:07:37,447 - This is the perfect excuse. - Why? We're fine. 162 00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:40,223 But Pepper doesn't know that. You'll just tell him that we have 163 00:07:40,349 --> 00:07:42,247 - some damage we have to deal with. - Why me? 164 00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,753 Because I'm the one that always cancels. 165 00:07:44,921 --> 00:07:47,884 Do not hand me that. I will not talk to him. I'm a bad liar. 166 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:51,178 - Pick up. You are doing it! - I think somebody's talking. Hello? 167 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,406 Listen... hi. Hey. 168 00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:57,779 It's Cameron. How are you doing over there? 169 00:07:57,947 --> 00:07:59,886 - Great. - Well, the earthquake. 170 00:08:00,011 --> 00:08:01,453 Yeah, it was huge here. 171 00:08:01,621 --> 00:08:03,916 So, obviously... we're not gonna be able to make it. 172 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,899 Why not? Well, some dishes broke. 173 00:08:06,024 --> 00:08:09,009 - You can sweep them up later. - And, well, yeah, I guess... 174 00:08:09,177 --> 00:08:10,930 we could sweep those up later. 175 00:08:12,905 --> 00:08:15,481 Our hat rack. Our hat rack fell through the window. 176 00:08:15,649 --> 00:08:18,570 We do have a hat rack. We thought it would force us to wear our hats more. 177 00:08:18,738 --> 00:08:21,200 And it did. And there's water damage. 178 00:08:21,369 --> 00:08:25,139 There's water everywhere. A bookshelf fell on Mitchell's leg. 179 00:08:25,264 --> 00:08:27,755 Mitchell's hurt, Pepper. Mitchell's hurt real bad. 180 00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:30,427 - I'm coming right over. - No, you don't need to come over. 181 00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:31,688 I'm coming! 182 00:08:33,893 --> 00:08:36,356 - He's coming over. - See? Kind of panicked. 183 00:08:36,524 --> 00:08:38,777 You did panic, Cam. You panicked real bad. 184 00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:45,438 You're still going golfing? 185 00:08:45,710 --> 00:08:47,461 God sent you a sign, Jay! 186 00:08:47,629 --> 00:08:49,382 The earthquake? You got to be kidding me. 187 00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:51,516 You say that you're never going to church again, 188 00:08:51,641 --> 00:08:53,390 and the ground shakes with a vengeance. 189 00:08:53,558 --> 00:08:55,561 I'll prove it to you. God, if you have a problem 190 00:08:55,729 --> 00:08:58,703 with me golfing send me a sign! I mean, throw in a little lightning! 191 00:08:58,828 --> 00:09:00,029 Put on a show! 192 00:09:00,154 --> 00:09:01,990 - Don't talk to God like that! - Trust me. 193 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,594 If God had a problem with me, He would let me know 194 00:09:04,719 --> 00:09:07,501 without shaking the whole city. He would be a little more specific. 195 00:09:07,669 --> 00:09:10,173 I'm not gonna argue with you. I don't want to get upset. 196 00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:11,883 Vamanos, Manny. 197 00:09:12,008 --> 00:09:14,264 - I think I'm gonna skip it today. - What? 198 00:09:14,433 --> 00:09:16,916 I like what Jay said about God being in nature. 199 00:09:17,898 --> 00:09:20,819 Don't listen to him. His days are numbered! 200 00:09:20,987 --> 00:09:23,153 Think about it, mom. It makes sense. 201 00:09:23,278 --> 00:09:26,288 God made the trees and the grass. He didn't make that church. 202 00:09:26,457 --> 00:09:29,630 But he made the people that make the church, and you're making me angry! 203 00:09:29,755 --> 00:09:31,215 - Vamanos. - Just one week. 204 00:09:32,177 --> 00:09:34,679 - Can I go golfing with you? - Well, I'm probably gonna have 205 00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:37,185 a latino kid carry my clubs anyway. Might as well be you. 206 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,024 Fine! See what I care! Go! 207 00:09:40,192 --> 00:09:41,544 Manny. Go change. 208 00:09:42,062 --> 00:09:43,991 Sorry, mom. Hope you understand. 209 00:09:44,847 --> 00:09:47,415 Probably good for us to spend a little time together. 210 00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:49,985 You're gonna spend eternity together! 211 00:09:55,002 --> 00:09:56,003 Damn it! 212 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,187 I suppose that was God, too! 213 00:09:59,356 --> 00:10:01,901 I don't know who did it, but it makes me happy. 214 00:10:08,553 --> 00:10:10,300 - What are you doing? - Hey, buddy. 215 00:10:10,425 --> 00:10:12,899 Just double-checking these straps. This is an extra. 216 00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:15,721 These babies saved your life. That's why this cabinet barely moved. 217 00:10:15,889 --> 00:10:18,267 It fell all the way to the couch. It almost killed me. 218 00:10:18,436 --> 00:10:20,422 No, it didn't. This cabinet barely moved. 219 00:10:20,547 --> 00:10:22,704 That's just perspective playing tricks on your mind. 220 00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:25,239 Like if I hold up my thumb, it looks bigger than your head. 221 00:10:25,408 --> 00:10:27,953 - It doesn't. It looks tiny. - You have to look from here. 222 00:10:28,121 --> 00:10:30,211 How can look at my head from over there? 223 00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:34,888 Why don't you just lie down? I gotta make sure your mom's still stuck. 224 00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:37,414 So she... I can get her out. 225 00:10:38,117 --> 00:10:39,519 Don't fall asleep. 226 00:10:40,865 --> 00:10:42,967 Sorry that took... You filthy... 227 00:10:43,736 --> 00:10:45,322 Sorry that took so long! 228 00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:47,993 I'm gonna go ahead and just take off the doorknob, okay? 229 00:10:48,861 --> 00:10:49,962 There we go. 230 00:10:50,457 --> 00:10:53,326 - That's... Damn! - What? What happened? 231 00:10:53,451 --> 00:10:56,719 I brought the wrong screwdriver, so I'll be right back! 232 00:10:56,887 --> 00:10:58,723 All right, but hurry up, Phil! 233 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,300 Doing my best, Claire! 234 00:11:00,425 --> 00:11:03,023 Don't talk back, dad! She'll just ground you! 235 00:11:03,354 --> 00:11:05,565 That's 32 weeks, young lady! 236 00:11:06,531 --> 00:11:08,333 I was at 16 before, right? 237 00:11:09,473 --> 00:11:10,474 What? 238 00:11:10,855 --> 00:11:11,856 Nothing. 239 00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:14,614 Don't judge me until you've had a teenage girl. 240 00:11:14,739 --> 00:11:16,062 I've had four of 'em. 241 00:11:16,187 --> 00:11:18,189 God, how did you survive that? 242 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,339 Girls were a piece of cake. It was the boy. 243 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,625 Every look on his face. 244 00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:26,065 Every stupid decision he made. 245 00:11:26,612 --> 00:11:29,815 The way he sat there, chewing his food like an idiot. 246 00:11:30,528 --> 00:11:33,581 And then it hit me why this kid drove me so crazy. 247 00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:35,846 He's me. 248 00:11:36,891 --> 00:11:39,200 Well, all the more reason she should listen to me. 249 00:11:39,326 --> 00:11:41,684 I can stop her from making the same mistakes. 250 00:11:42,340 --> 00:11:43,825 Did you listen to your mother? 251 00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:47,061 God no. But, you know, I had a reason. That woman was a... 252 00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:48,538 psycho control... 253 00:11:49,025 --> 00:11:50,026 freak. 254 00:11:51,137 --> 00:11:52,456 I brought you some soda. 255 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:56,046 But I couldn't find any straws, so you'll have to drink it like cats. 256 00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:57,858 Thank you, Luke! 257 00:11:58,623 --> 00:11:59,780 That's my sweetie. 258 00:11:59,905 --> 00:12:03,046 I was going to bring you wine, but, you finished the big bottle last night. 259 00:12:03,171 --> 00:12:04,523 Okay. Off you go. 260 00:12:06,746 --> 00:12:08,719 - Hold this, will you, kid? - Sure. 261 00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,397 You know, Mitchell used to caddy for me. 262 00:12:11,554 --> 00:12:14,635 Of course, he spent most of his time chasing butterflies. 263 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,859 - You won't catch me doing that. - Good for you. 264 00:12:16,984 --> 00:12:18,433 I'm terrified of them. 265 00:12:19,618 --> 00:12:21,179 Look at that. That's a perfect shot. 266 00:12:21,348 --> 00:12:22,964 And I hit that with a bent club. 267 00:12:23,089 --> 00:12:25,140 So you're not worried about getting in trouble? 268 00:12:25,265 --> 00:12:26,441 You know, with God? 269 00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:29,104 I think he's got bigger things on his plate. 270 00:12:30,977 --> 00:12:34,665 - So you're not worried about hell? - Let me let you in on a little secret. 271 00:12:35,207 --> 00:12:36,524 There is no hell. 272 00:12:36,649 --> 00:12:37,650 Seriously? 273 00:12:37,963 --> 00:12:38,964 No hell? 274 00:12:39,171 --> 00:12:40,523 That's fantastic! 275 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:46,003 - So everyone just goes to heaven? - Yep. End of story. 276 00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:48,660 Even bad people? 277 00:12:49,296 --> 00:12:51,949 They're another section, see? They got this thing figured out. 278 00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:53,692 Can I hit this? 279 00:12:59,566 --> 00:13:00,567 Damn it. 280 00:13:00,877 --> 00:13:03,096 - You distraccted me. - I didn't say anything! 281 00:13:03,264 --> 00:13:04,563 I could hear you thinking. 282 00:13:04,688 --> 00:13:07,408 I'm thinking about this heaven of yours that's full of bad people. 283 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:09,537 Not full. The tiniest fraction. 284 00:13:09,866 --> 00:13:10,987 They're walled in. 285 00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:15,220 - What if they break out? - They're surrounded by a lake of fire. 286 00:13:15,805 --> 00:13:19,258 They are fiery lakes in heaven? This is turning into hell. 287 00:13:22,496 --> 00:13:23,596 Tell me about it. 288 00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:27,103 What are you doing? 289 00:13:27,271 --> 00:13:29,431 You promised Pepper broken dishes, so... 290 00:13:29,813 --> 00:13:31,111 I'm breaking dishes. 291 00:13:31,279 --> 00:13:33,325 Not my frog! I know you think it's tacky, 292 00:13:33,493 --> 00:13:36,956 But I have won this at my first 4-h summer camp in a hollerin' contest. 293 00:13:37,124 --> 00:13:39,837 We wouldn't have to break anything if you were a better liar. 294 00:13:40,005 --> 00:13:42,941 You're trying to make me feel bad about not being as good a liar as you. 295 00:13:43,066 --> 00:13:44,388 What are you doing? 296 00:13:44,556 --> 00:13:47,020 A hat rack broke the window, remember? One, 297 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:48,703 two, three... 298 00:13:50,965 --> 00:13:51,966 Wait! 299 00:13:54,063 --> 00:13:56,134 I can't do this. I quit. 300 00:13:56,341 --> 00:13:58,416 You're maybe comfortable with lying, but I'm not. 301 00:13:59,477 --> 00:14:02,917 Please, where was all this conscience when I got us into the 1st-class lounge 302 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,388 at the airport and you chewed Angela Lansbury's ear off. 303 00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,058 You know what you are? 304 00:14:07,226 --> 00:14:09,553 A mob wife. You look down at me and my ways, 305 00:14:09,678 --> 00:14:12,109 but you're happy to wear the mink coat that fell off the truck! 306 00:14:12,912 --> 00:14:14,283 How dare you? 307 00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:24,523 I know, I know. It really hit us bad. 308 00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:27,891 I'm just always surprised how small this place is. 309 00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:30,873 You didn't have to leave your party To come check on us. 310 00:14:30,998 --> 00:14:32,442 Great costume, by the way. 311 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,448 This isn't my costume. I threw this on to help you clean up. 312 00:14:36,421 --> 00:14:38,792 - About your party... - Don't worry about canceling. 313 00:14:38,917 --> 00:14:40,625 At least you have an excuse. 314 00:14:40,793 --> 00:14:44,262 Unlike Steven and Stefan. They said they had the flu. 315 00:14:44,557 --> 00:14:47,179 Meantime, I just saw them out riding their bicycle. 316 00:14:47,768 --> 00:14:49,551 Pepper, that is horrible. 317 00:14:49,676 --> 00:14:51,313 I'm gonna make you a cocktail. 318 00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:54,403 Don't go to any trouble. I'll just have a kir royale. 319 00:14:54,948 --> 00:14:57,909 My God, if they didn't want to come to my party, just say it. 320 00:14:58,077 --> 00:14:59,622 I'm a big boy. I can take it. 321 00:15:00,902 --> 00:15:02,940 Since you brought it up, Pepper... 322 00:15:03,632 --> 00:15:05,925 We didn't want to come to your party, either. 323 00:15:06,093 --> 00:15:06,928 What? 324 00:15:07,096 --> 00:15:08,890 Well, you know we love you, 325 00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:12,302 but they've just gotten to be so much work over the years, and... 326 00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:15,236 - We're out of cassis. - I can't bear it! 327 00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:16,489 I'll make a bellini. 328 00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:19,160 Everybody canceled on me! 329 00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:20,847 And now you two! 330 00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:22,501 For 15 years, 331 00:15:22,669 --> 00:15:25,613 I have killed myself setting a community standard 332 00:15:25,738 --> 00:15:27,863 with my fanciful themed brunches, 333 00:15:27,988 --> 00:15:30,725 mounted at great personal expense. 334 00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:32,813 Well, clearly, I've been a fool. 335 00:15:32,981 --> 00:15:34,712 No one likes your brunches, Pepper. 336 00:15:34,837 --> 00:15:36,440 No one likes you. 337 00:15:37,182 --> 00:15:38,834 You're gonna die alone! 338 00:15:39,661 --> 00:15:42,956 In a quaint Spanish revival outside of Palm Springs... 339 00:15:43,752 --> 00:15:44,904 Or La Quinta. 340 00:15:47,194 --> 00:15:48,245 I told him. 341 00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:50,247 Yeah, I puzzled that out. 342 00:15:52,354 --> 00:15:54,460 I just don't understand this bad section of Heaven. 343 00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,376 What if they send you to the wrong place? 344 00:15:56,501 --> 00:15:58,280 They make mistakes with paperwork sometimes. 345 00:15:58,745 --> 00:16:01,486 I was put in a girls' health class last year and had to watched 346 00:16:01,611 --> 00:16:03,666 - a very disturbing movie. - Calm down. 347 00:16:03,834 --> 00:16:06,605 Instead of thinking all morning about what Heaven's gonna look like, 348 00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:10,346 what it's not gonna look like, who's where, if there even is a heaven, 349 00:16:11,259 --> 00:16:13,711 Why don't we just concentrate on this... 350 00:16:13,836 --> 00:16:16,335 beautiful, carefree day that's in front of us? 351 00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:18,969 I'd rather concentrate on something you just said. 352 00:16:19,094 --> 00:16:21,549 - There might not even be a heaven? - I don't know! 353 00:16:21,674 --> 00:16:24,146 You seemed pretty sure of yourself this morning. 354 00:16:24,271 --> 00:16:26,503 So what happens after you die? There's just nothing? 355 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,202 You're focusing too much on one little thing that I said. 356 00:16:30,328 --> 00:16:32,996 - It was just a hunch, okay? - A hunch? 357 00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:35,060 I'm skipping church based on a hunch? 358 00:16:35,735 --> 00:16:37,317 Don't freak out on me here, kid. 359 00:16:38,109 --> 00:16:40,238 You're playing pretty fast and loose with my soul. 360 00:16:40,407 --> 00:16:42,411 I want you to forget everything that I said. 361 00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:44,596 Some things can't be forgotten, Jay. 362 00:16:44,721 --> 00:16:47,816 Do you know what menstruation is? Because I do. 363 00:16:53,509 --> 00:16:54,510 Perfect. 364 00:16:55,776 --> 00:16:58,401 What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be getting mom out? 365 00:16:58,569 --> 00:17:01,565 That is what I was doing. 366 00:17:01,806 --> 00:17:02,909 This cabinet... 367 00:17:03,077 --> 00:17:04,621 - was the problem. - How? 368 00:17:04,789 --> 00:17:06,392 Yeah. It's very heavy, 369 00:17:06,674 --> 00:17:10,090 It wasn't properly anchored to the wall, so there's a ripple effect. 370 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,469 It was... 371 00:17:12,022 --> 00:17:13,681 pulling part of the floor down... 372 00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:16,144 and then pushing part of the floor up. 373 00:17:16,313 --> 00:17:18,860 Causing the bathroom door... Please don't tell on me. 374 00:17:19,652 --> 00:17:21,279 I don't know who I am anymore! 375 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:23,868 Who am I? 376 00:17:24,659 --> 00:17:26,832 I'm a joke! That's who. 377 00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:29,294 You're not a joke. 378 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,071 You're Pepper Saltzman. 379 00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:33,418 I think I better just go. 380 00:17:34,892 --> 00:17:36,680 If anything terrible should happen, 381 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:39,486 don't feel an obligation to attend my memorial. 382 00:17:39,839 --> 00:17:41,381 New York or LA. 383 00:17:43,131 --> 00:17:44,951 You didn't let me finish. 384 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,707 The reason we didn't want to come to your party is... 385 00:17:49,879 --> 00:17:50,964 Seriously? 386 00:17:51,132 --> 00:17:52,574 - Who's a mob wife? - I am. 387 00:17:52,699 --> 00:17:54,102 Sorry, I couldn't hear you. 388 00:17:54,765 --> 00:17:56,016 I'm a mob wife. 389 00:18:00,142 --> 00:18:02,487 - This is embarrassing. - I don't even wanna hear it. 390 00:18:02,655 --> 00:18:04,699 Cameron still has feelings for you. 391 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,287 Go on. 392 00:18:07,456 --> 00:18:09,960 Yeah, and it's very hard for him... 393 00:18:10,128 --> 00:18:12,673 to be around you, especially at your... 394 00:18:13,302 --> 00:18:15,377 magical brunches, where you're just... 395 00:18:15,502 --> 00:18:17,748 You're so magnetic. 396 00:18:17,873 --> 00:18:20,314 And then I see the way that he looks at you, and... 397 00:18:20,847 --> 00:18:23,856 Damn it, it just makes me so mad that I could just... 398 00:18:26,578 --> 00:18:27,579 Really? 399 00:18:27,747 --> 00:18:30,044 You don't know the pain, Cam! 400 00:18:32,715 --> 00:18:35,887 Boys, I can't stand that I'm coming between you! 401 00:18:36,931 --> 00:18:38,541 Not that I'm surprised. 402 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,942 I have noticed the stolen glances and the yearning in your eyes. 403 00:18:45,675 --> 00:18:48,621 You'll forgive us if we sit out your next few brunches? 404 00:18:48,789 --> 00:18:49,840 Absolutely. 405 00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:53,692 I would hate to lose you two. 406 00:18:54,428 --> 00:18:57,054 I've always thought of you as being like my... 407 00:18:57,222 --> 00:18:59,731 - Sons? - "Sons"? 408 00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,941 I was gonna say "brothers." 409 00:19:04,498 --> 00:19:06,657 It's like a house of pain! 410 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,381 - Ready? - You ready? 411 00:19:10,506 --> 00:19:11,861 All right, on "go." 412 00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:14,977 God, I got it! 413 00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,818 - It's moving! It did it! - We got it. 414 00:19:17,943 --> 00:19:19,038 Thank God! 415 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,753 Phil, where are you? 416 00:19:25,749 --> 00:19:27,289 Are you kidding me? 417 00:19:31,374 --> 00:19:33,263 What happened? You disappeared for 20 minutes. 418 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,840 We just had to break ourselves out of that bathroom. 419 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,157 I am so happy to see you. Get in here. 420 00:19:38,282 --> 00:19:40,516 No, seriously. What happened? 421 00:19:41,303 --> 00:19:42,482 Dad was incredible! 422 00:19:42,607 --> 00:19:44,691 He was running around turning off the gas line, 423 00:19:45,581 --> 00:19:47,038 cleaning up broken glass, 424 00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:49,283 and taking care of Luke after he ran into a wall. 425 00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,915 I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down. 426 00:19:57,766 --> 00:19:59,366 - I'm sorry. - Don't worry. 427 00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:01,335 I'm sorry, I was so nervous. 428 00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:02,797 I freaked out. 429 00:20:03,211 --> 00:20:05,358 It's all right, it's all right. 430 00:20:05,526 --> 00:20:08,304 I think it was a little bit of a rough morning, wasn't it? 431 00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:10,094 - It was. - I don't know about you, 432 00:20:10,219 --> 00:20:12,427 but I just want to relax and put my feet up. 433 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,032 At the museum of tolerance. Who's in? 434 00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:17,560 - I am! - You are. Okay, let's do it. 435 00:20:19,955 --> 00:20:22,433 There's nothing mystical about an earthquake. 436 00:20:23,008 --> 00:20:25,260 Pressure builds, and it's released. 437 00:20:27,361 --> 00:20:30,033 And you just hope there's not too much damage. 438 00:20:32,705 --> 00:20:35,751 But it makes you realize what matters. And for me, that's my family. 439 00:20:36,204 --> 00:20:37,755 I'll put in a good word for you. 440 00:20:37,923 --> 00:20:39,174 You're the best, kid. 441 00:20:39,343 --> 00:20:40,794 My family and golf. 442 00:20:44,937 --> 00:20:47,316 If heaven's in the sky, what do you walk on? 443 00:20:47,484 --> 00:20:49,779 Manny, don't be ridiculous. The clouds. 444 00:20:49,947 --> 00:20:51,220 That makes no sense. 445 00:20:51,346 --> 00:20:53,244 Clouds are air. You'd fall through them. 446 00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:56,166 The clouds in heaven... they're like trampolines. 447 00:20:56,335 --> 00:20:59,006 I don't like trampolines. They make me seasick. 448 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:00,384 Stop worrying. 449 00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:02,555 Heaven is a beautiful place, 450 00:21:02,723 --> 00:21:05,947 with sunshine and rainbows and butterflies. 451 00:21:06,772 --> 00:21:07,898 Butterflies? 452 00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:11,615 I didn't say butterflies! Manny, there's no butterflies!