1 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:06,922 What are you doing? 2 00:00:08,136 --> 00:00:09,825 One of the smoke alarms is chirping. 3 00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:12,770 I'm trying to figure out which one it is so I can change the battery. 4 00:00:12,895 --> 00:00:14,845 Well, if anybody can find it, 5 00:00:15,454 --> 00:00:16,454 it's you. 6 00:00:17,478 --> 00:00:19,588 You sound horrible. 7 00:00:19,713 --> 00:00:22,046 Why don't... Why don't you go back to bed? 8 00:00:22,215 --> 00:00:24,833 Cause I've got too much to do. I've got to make the ladyfingers 9 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,227 for the bake sale, and I've got to go by the gym... 10 00:00:27,352 --> 00:00:29,637 - I left my phone there yesterday. - I'll do all that. 11 00:00:29,806 --> 00:00:30,875 We're a team. 12 00:00:31,174 --> 00:00:33,182 When one of us is weak, we lean on the other. 13 00:00:33,351 --> 00:00:34,767 You don't have to do that stuff. 14 00:00:34,936 --> 00:00:37,072 Honey, with all you do for me, 15 00:00:37,197 --> 00:00:40,669 including going to the gym four times a week to keep me interested, 16 00:00:40,794 --> 00:00:41,816 I got this. 17 00:00:41,985 --> 00:00:43,735 Don't you have houses to show today? 18 00:00:44,254 --> 00:00:45,862 They... canceled. 19 00:00:46,906 --> 00:00:48,631 - Pumpkin. - Are you kidding me? 20 00:00:48,756 --> 00:00:51,617 It's lucky. This way I get to stay here and take care of you. 21 00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:59,417 Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Dunphy. Is Haley ready for school? 22 00:00:59,585 --> 00:01:02,045 She's on her way down. Don't get too close to my wife. 23 00:01:02,213 --> 00:01:04,589 Haley told you about that? It's just a dream. 24 00:01:07,294 --> 00:01:08,634 That came from the kitchen. 25 00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,891 - I thought it was in here. - Really? 26 00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:12,986 You wait in here and listen for it. 27 00:01:13,111 --> 00:01:15,391 - I'm gonna wait in there. - It's the least I can do, 28 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,559 after... 29 00:01:16,684 --> 00:01:17,810 well, you know. 30 00:01:18,398 --> 00:01:19,898 I'm coming with you. 31 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,735 Boy, I wish Haley would date some other boys. 32 00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:28,905 What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson? 33 00:01:29,073 --> 00:01:30,073 Don't. 34 00:01:30,441 --> 00:01:33,326 I just feel like she owes it to herself to see what else is out there. 35 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,456 The way Dylan's always hanging around here, 36 00:01:35,581 --> 00:01:38,123 he's probably gonna try to marry her the second she turns 18. 37 00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:39,248 You never know. 38 00:01:39,417 --> 00:01:41,920 Maybe those two were meant to be together... 39 00:01:42,045 --> 00:01:43,195 Like we were. 40 00:01:44,407 --> 00:01:46,297 Honey, Haley and Dylan are not us. 41 00:01:48,634 --> 00:01:51,034 No, I think that amount will be fine. 42 00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:53,241 I'm just happy you want Lily. 43 00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:56,140 I think you're gonna be very happy with her. 44 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,436 Cam? Did you just sell our baby? 45 00:02:00,605 --> 00:02:03,575 No, but do you remember that agent we met that represents child actors, 46 00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,734 the one who said Lily might have what it takes and gave us his card? 47 00:02:06,903 --> 00:02:09,987 - That I threw away. - That I fished out of the trash? 48 00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:12,650 That was him on the phone. 49 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:14,458 They're shooting 50 00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:17,620 a children's-furniture-store commercial today, and they want Lily! 51 00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:21,088 - I threw away that card for a reason. - Come on, it'll be fun, 52 00:02:21,213 --> 00:02:22,792 and Lily will be on TV, 53 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,283 and we can put the money in her college account. 54 00:02:25,408 --> 00:02:28,297 No, let's just let our daughter have a normal childhood, huh? 55 00:02:28,466 --> 00:02:30,424 I think that gay cruise has sailed. 56 00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:33,049 It's just one commercial. 57 00:02:33,174 --> 00:02:34,325 I don't like it. 58 00:02:36,599 --> 00:02:38,048 What, so that's it? 59 00:02:38,173 --> 00:02:39,976 You're the parent with the final say? 60 00:02:40,144 --> 00:02:43,229 - Why? Because you make the money? - It's not about that, and you know it. 61 00:02:43,688 --> 00:02:46,315 I wouldn't expect you to understand us. You're not theater folk. 62 00:02:46,484 --> 00:02:49,055 Neither are you. You did "Godspell" one summer in a barn. 63 00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:50,653 You're barn folk. 64 00:02:51,226 --> 00:02:54,824 Get used to that jealousy, Lily. Ordinary people don't understand us. 65 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,816 - What are you guys doing here? - Manny had a doctor's appointment, 66 00:03:03,941 --> 00:03:06,085 so we're gonna catch lunch with Jay. Is he there? 67 00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,545 Yeah, he's in back. 68 00:03:07,713 --> 00:03:09,952 - Good day, Jackson. - Good day, Manuel. 69 00:03:10,077 --> 00:03:12,884 - I see you're still forklifting. - More like lifting the fork. 70 00:03:13,231 --> 00:03:15,011 Man, I was gonna say at joke! 71 00:03:15,384 --> 00:03:18,584 I'm sorry, but I gotta have lunch with my wife today. 72 00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:22,163 I know, baby, but I had to marry her so she could stay in the country. 73 00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:26,689 Where am I gonna find another husband that wears sweatpants to work? 74 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:27,815 Resort wear. 75 00:03:28,573 --> 00:03:30,234 Maybe last resort. 76 00:03:30,403 --> 00:03:33,905 I'm glad you guys stoped by for lunch. I got to work a little late tonight. 77 00:03:34,073 --> 00:03:36,407 No, not tonight. Did you forget our date? 78 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:39,368 I was kidding! 79 00:03:39,537 --> 00:03:41,439 I had no idea what she was talking about. 80 00:03:41,564 --> 00:03:43,620 Gloria, God love her, likes to celebrate 81 00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:46,959 every possible milestone in our relationship... 82 00:03:47,084 --> 00:03:48,132 Day we met... 83 00:03:48,257 --> 00:03:49,398 Our first date... 84 00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:51,881 Which I forgot, so we got in a big fight. 85 00:03:52,662 --> 00:03:54,759 Now we commemorate the big fight. 86 00:03:54,927 --> 00:03:56,636 I thought we could re-create the day. 87 00:03:57,024 --> 00:03:59,624 Do everything that we did the first time. 88 00:03:59,749 --> 00:04:00,806 So romantic. 89 00:04:01,172 --> 00:04:03,972 You know, that's exactly what I was thinking. 90 00:04:05,688 --> 00:04:08,172 Jack is so nice. I think he really likes Manny. 91 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:10,109 What he likes is getting out of work. 92 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,778 - Wait a minute. Is that Manny driving? - Is it? 93 00:04:18,242 --> 00:04:19,283 Yeah, it's him. 94 00:04:20,778 --> 00:04:23,185 Subtitles by Kevin & MiniBen314 95 00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:25,373 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 96 00:04:34,256 --> 00:04:37,356 My poor papi. Two doctors in one day. 97 00:04:37,481 --> 00:04:40,263 Mom, I'm fine. The hospital said I could go back to school. 98 00:04:40,431 --> 00:04:43,182 No, you suffered a traumatic experience. 99 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,859 I barely remember it! 100 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,742 I remember crashing through the wall 101 00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:49,207 - and the ambulance ride. - That wasn't an ambulance. 102 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,982 - I drove you. - What was that siren? 103 00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:53,025 - Your mother. - I was not that loud. 104 00:04:53,194 --> 00:04:54,893 Cars pulled over, honey. 105 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,228 I'm sorry about your wall. 106 00:04:57,353 --> 00:05:00,199 Wasn't your fault, it was Jack's. And I've already taken care of him. 107 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:03,452 - You killed him? - You can't here. I fired him. 108 00:05:03,621 --> 00:05:06,080 But it was just an accident! He didn't mean it! 109 00:05:06,249 --> 00:05:08,374 He's a screw-up. Should have been gone months ago. 110 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,049 - Can't we just give him another chance? - What is this "we"? 111 00:05:11,174 --> 00:05:14,364 Let me explain something to you people. Here in this family, it's we. 112 00:05:14,489 --> 00:05:15,548 At work, it's me. 113 00:05:16,084 --> 00:05:18,050 My rules, my decisions... 114 00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:20,052 - Period. - That's not fair! 115 00:05:23,318 --> 00:05:24,768 You mad at me, too? 116 00:05:25,177 --> 00:05:26,327 You're right. 117 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:27,702 It's your work. 118 00:05:27,966 --> 00:05:30,264 Besides, I can't be mad at you... 119 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,106 Not on our special day. 120 00:05:32,841 --> 00:05:36,004 Honey, I was thinking... with what happened to Manny, 121 00:05:36,129 --> 00:05:38,362 maybe we better postpone our special day 122 00:05:38,531 --> 00:05:39,980 until next weekend. 123 00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:44,871 Next weekend is the anniversary of the first time that I cooked for you. 124 00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:52,084 What you doin', Typhoid Clairey? 125 00:05:52,924 --> 00:05:54,315 What are you doing home? 126 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,255 She caught your cold and had to come home. 127 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:59,637 I thought we should contain you two and keep it frompreading through the house. 128 00:05:59,762 --> 00:06:01,512 Come here. I'm so sorry. 129 00:06:01,756 --> 00:06:02,756 It's okay. 130 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,890 - Did you finish my ladyfingers? - Not yet. 131 00:06:06,058 --> 00:06:07,957 - Did you pick up my phone? - Not yet. 132 00:06:08,082 --> 00:06:10,144 Is that the smoke detector? I thought you fixedit. 133 00:06:10,313 --> 00:06:13,024 Boy, you're really starting to sound like your old self. 134 00:06:17,284 --> 00:06:19,058 You know what this reminds me of? 135 00:06:19,183 --> 00:06:20,391 When you were little, 136 00:06:20,516 --> 00:06:23,231 we used to snuggle and watch soap operas together. Remember that? 137 00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:26,245 Nothing's changed. Sonya's still married to that guy. 138 00:06:26,626 --> 00:06:29,626 - One second. - The one with the... bad hairline. 139 00:06:30,742 --> 00:06:32,292 God, I miss you, too. 140 00:06:34,564 --> 00:06:36,264 It's just a cold, silly. 141 00:06:36,389 --> 00:06:39,389 You don't have to conceive of a world without me. 142 00:06:40,584 --> 00:06:42,984 Nothing. I'm just in bed with my mom. 143 00:06:43,688 --> 00:06:46,639 Stop freaking out. It is not coming true. 144 00:06:54,357 --> 00:06:57,223 Mrs. Vaughn? It's Phil Dunphy. It's about 3:30. 145 00:06:57,348 --> 00:06:59,825 Now, I know you said you'd moved on, but, 146 00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:02,230 there's been a significant price reduction 147 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,532 in the house in Sullivan Canyon, which I know 148 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:05,900 you loved, so, 149 00:07:06,321 --> 00:07:08,430 if there's any chance you might reconsider, 150 00:07:08,555 --> 00:07:10,204 I know you will not be sorry. 151 00:07:10,373 --> 00:07:12,676 I can meet you anytime, so just give me a call. 152 00:07:12,801 --> 00:07:15,805 Anytime. I can meet you wherever that... 153 00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:19,234 place is that you feel, that would be best. Okay, thank you. Bye. 154 00:07:20,537 --> 00:07:21,537 Dad? 155 00:07:21,848 --> 00:07:22,967 Hey, buddy! 156 00:07:23,135 --> 00:07:25,719 - How are ya? What are you doin'? - Keeping the germs off me. 157 00:07:26,472 --> 00:07:29,390 You care about germs? I've seen you kiss a pigeon on the mouth. 158 00:07:29,558 --> 00:07:31,928 My class is going to Disneyland in two days. 159 00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:33,394 I can't get mom's cold. 160 00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,283 Good plan. I remember this. 161 00:07:36,408 --> 00:07:38,607 My dad bought it during the cuban missile crisis. 162 00:07:38,776 --> 00:07:41,020 I never got a turn. You think maybe later I could... 163 00:07:41,145 --> 00:07:43,237 Maybe. What are you doing home in the afternoon? 164 00:07:44,095 --> 00:07:47,074 No big deal. Just had a couple of showings fall through. 165 00:07:47,569 --> 00:07:49,743 - Again? - You know what I always say. 166 00:07:49,912 --> 00:07:52,955 Sure do. Can't get back on that horse unless you fall off. 167 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,165 That's right. 168 00:07:54,977 --> 00:07:56,625 - That's loud. - Sorry. 169 00:07:57,866 --> 00:07:59,670 Where is that coming from? 170 00:07:59,839 --> 00:08:03,340 Changing the battery in a smoke detector Is what they teach you in man 101, 171 00:08:03,465 --> 00:08:05,501 So, of course, every time I hear that noise, 172 00:08:05,626 --> 00:08:07,914 all I hear is, "Beep beep... You're not a man. 173 00:08:08,039 --> 00:08:10,094 Beep beep... You're not..." Really? 174 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,676 Can you open this for me? 175 00:08:15,171 --> 00:08:16,271 Sure, buddy. 176 00:08:19,655 --> 00:08:21,525 - What happened? - I broke a nail. 177 00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:25,988 - What's up? - What do you mean? 178 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,896 You just sent me an urgent text saying to come right over. 179 00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:31,118 That was from me. I used Jay's phone. 180 00:08:31,287 --> 00:08:34,319 - What happened to your face? - Just a little scrape-up. 181 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,670 I'd like to engage your legal services in representing my friend Jack 182 00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:41,086 - in a wrongful-termination suit. - Forget it. 183 00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:43,523 He's not coming back. Don't take thease, Mitchell. 184 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,133 I don't think I was gonna take the case. 185 00:08:46,302 --> 00:08:47,301 Fine. 186 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:49,173 Then, under the circumstances, 187 00:08:49,298 --> 00:08:51,211 we have nothing further to talk about. 188 00:08:51,336 --> 00:08:53,015 These will be my last words to you. 189 00:08:53,427 --> 00:08:55,222 - Knock knock. - Who's there? 190 00:08:56,337 --> 00:08:57,686 Okay, you got me. 191 00:08:57,855 --> 00:09:00,454 I hope you feel clever tricking your kid. 192 00:09:04,539 --> 00:09:06,612 - Congratulations! - On what? 193 00:09:06,992 --> 00:09:09,406 - Lily's commercial. - No, we turned that down. 194 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:13,118 Are you sure? Because Cam sent me a picture of her in her makeup chair. 195 00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,089 - Sorry. He what? - It's so exciting. 196 00:09:16,214 --> 00:09:19,583 You have to remember this day so that you can celebrate it every year. 197 00:09:22,588 --> 00:09:25,839 Okay, folks, we're about 10 minutes from shooting! Is talent ready? 198 00:09:26,729 --> 00:09:27,829 She sure is. 199 00:09:28,223 --> 00:09:30,358 Did you hear that, Lily? You're the talent. 200 00:09:30,483 --> 00:09:31,933 Isn't that magical? 201 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:33,750 Grapes. 202 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,274 And that is a prop. 203 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,341 Okay, we're really gonna hang up this time. 204 00:09:39,466 --> 00:09:41,351 On the count of three. Ready? 205 00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:42,476 One... 206 00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:43,884 two... 207 00:09:44,243 --> 00:09:45,243 three. 208 00:09:46,274 --> 00:09:47,274 Hello? 209 00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:49,196 I can't believe he hung up! 210 00:09:49,365 --> 00:09:51,864 - I'm calling him back. - Give me that. 211 00:09:56,861 --> 00:10:00,249 - My God. Is that Hesse? - And he's still married to Angie. 212 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,945 You know something else you might find interesting? 213 00:10:05,070 --> 00:10:06,996 Sonya is drinking, 214 00:10:07,121 --> 00:10:09,778 because she married a buffoon when she was young, 215 00:10:09,903 --> 00:10:13,470 and now she realizes she's wasted her entire life. 216 00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:17,202 Can you imagine making a mistake like that? 217 00:10:17,727 --> 00:10:19,602 Yeah, that must be horrible. 218 00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:22,375 Yeah, now she's just a bitter ghost of a woman, 219 00:10:23,048 --> 00:10:24,698 filled with resentment. 220 00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:27,042 But that's what happens when you commit to someone 221 00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,713 before you see what else is out there. 222 00:10:31,072 --> 00:10:32,122 Seriously? 223 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,779 She couldn't have laid it on thicker. 224 00:10:34,904 --> 00:10:38,254 "Ghost of a woman"? "Total buffoon"? I'm not an idiot. 225 00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:40,664 She was talking about her and my dad! 226 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,637 Yeah, well, maybe Sonya and her husband just need to... 227 00:10:44,762 --> 00:10:46,128 work a little harder. 228 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,995 Can he give her those years back? 229 00:10:50,018 --> 00:10:52,343 She could have been something. 230 00:10:52,511 --> 00:10:54,691 She could have traveled the world, 231 00:10:54,816 --> 00:10:56,616 been with fascinating men. 232 00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:59,016 She could have accomplished things. 233 00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,560 That's all she thinks about now... 234 00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:03,832 Every time she looks at him. 235 00:11:14,976 --> 00:11:16,158 Is that mom's apron? 236 00:11:18,197 --> 00:11:21,872 It's an apron. It's unisex. Some of the world's greatest chefs are men. 237 00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:24,146 But it's bumped out where the boobs go. 238 00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:27,701 - That's happening more and more. - Hadn't noticed. 239 00:11:31,885 --> 00:11:33,819 Mrs. Vaughn! Thanks for calling back. 240 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,844 Yeah, I was just about to... 241 00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:43,062 I see. Is there anything I can say that will... 242 00:11:43,187 --> 00:11:44,396 All right. Well... 243 00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:47,321 thank you very much. And if... Okay. Goodbye. 244 00:11:48,987 --> 00:11:50,317 Did you lose another one? 245 00:11:51,769 --> 00:11:53,907 Can't lose something you never had, right, pal? 246 00:11:54,943 --> 00:11:56,949 - That was the doorbell, dad. - Yeah, I know. 247 00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,353 So, what happens if people stop buying houses? 248 00:12:01,478 --> 00:12:03,170 Are we all gonna have to get jobs? 249 00:12:03,295 --> 00:12:06,395 Just a little slump, buddy. Nothing I can't handle. 250 00:12:08,386 --> 00:12:10,936 Hi, I'm Ron. I work out with Claire at the gym. 251 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:13,630 - Come on in. - I brought her phe back. She forgot it. 252 00:12:13,755 --> 00:12:15,467 Great. Thanks. Phil, Claire's husband. 253 00:12:16,781 --> 00:12:18,951 Claire never mentioned she had a husband. 254 00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:22,515 - Nice to meet you. - You too. 255 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,657 Sorry! I burnt my ladyfingers. 256 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,326 So quiet. 257 00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:36,822 It's like christian "silence" reading room. 258 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,039 - I'm fine. - So am I. 259 00:12:39,902 --> 00:12:42,566 Okay, my two stubborn burros. I'm going out. 260 00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:44,121 Manny, be a good boy. 261 00:12:46,088 --> 00:12:48,788 I'll see you later. I think you know where. 262 00:12:49,283 --> 00:12:50,283 Honey? 263 00:12:50,963 --> 00:12:54,876 You know what I was just thinking? You know how when people are in love, 264 00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:57,092 sometimes they finish each other's sentences? 265 00:12:57,393 --> 00:12:58,393 Like... 266 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,441 Tonight we're going to... 267 00:13:02,566 --> 00:13:04,076 Have fun! 268 00:13:05,437 --> 00:13:07,300 When we get to... 269 00:13:07,425 --> 00:13:09,256 Gether later! 270 00:13:14,446 --> 00:13:16,820 You have no idea where you're going, do you? 271 00:13:16,989 --> 00:13:18,655 - Tell me. - Hire Jack back. 272 00:13:18,824 --> 00:13:20,407 - Forget it. - Your funeral. 273 00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:24,512 Okay, Lily, daddy's gonna be right over here. 274 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,637 Okay. 275 00:13:25,855 --> 00:13:29,326 And... By the way, if it helps, I have a list of things Lily can do. 276 00:13:29,451 --> 00:13:32,377 She can blow a kiss, flap her arms like a bird... 277 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,807 - Thank you. I'll keep at in mind. - Okay. Thank you. 278 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,883 How did you get on the set? 279 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:41,136 I walked on. It's not MGM. It warehouse behind a mattress store. 280 00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:43,400 I can't believe you went behind my back. 281 00:13:43,525 --> 00:13:45,516 - We agreed... - We didn't agree on anything. 282 00:13:45,684 --> 00:13:48,476 You agreed. We don't have to agree on everything. 283 00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:51,563 I didn't like the book you bought her, I didn't stop you from reading it. 284 00:13:51,732 --> 00:13:53,074 What was wrong with it? 285 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,901 How was it a big day for Biscuit, Mitchell? How? 286 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,653 Okay, this isn't about Biscuit. 287 00:13:57,821 --> 00:14:01,198 - I know. It's about our daughter, Lily. - I think it's about you. 288 00:14:01,366 --> 00:14:04,785 I think you're using our daughter to fulfill some childhood dream of yours. 289 00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:06,787 Okay. Parents... 290 00:14:06,955 --> 00:14:10,249 We're ready to start rolling. Now, while we're doing the shoot, 291 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:13,589 Jim and Beb here will be doing the kids' voice-overs into the mike, kinda like 292 00:14:13,714 --> 00:14:16,025 - Look Who's talking. - That's great. 293 00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:18,901 There are a lot of important people here, so I'm not gonna get mad, 294 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:21,575 but I resent the implication that I would do anything 295 00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:23,981 that's not in the best interest of our daughter. 296 00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:25,430 Let's try a take! 297 00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:27,057 And... Action! 298 00:14:28,185 --> 00:14:32,020 We are lost in a city of high furniture prices! 299 00:14:32,758 --> 00:14:35,935 Can no one protect us from these high prices? 300 00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:38,193 Cut! Liting problem. One sec. 301 00:14:39,091 --> 00:14:41,104 You can apologize to me anytime you're ready. 302 00:14:41,229 --> 00:14:42,906 - Are you kidding me? - What? 303 00:14:43,075 --> 00:14:44,992 This commercial... it's a big stereotype. 304 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,818 - It's called "ironic." - This is why Lily was perfect... 305 00:14:47,943 --> 00:14:50,680 - She's Asian. She's a prop. - It's called "niche casting." 306 00:14:50,805 --> 00:14:53,771 Stop telling me what stuff is called! You're so blinded by the spotlight, 307 00:14:53,896 --> 00:14:55,817 you can't see what's really going on here! 308 00:14:55,942 --> 00:14:58,168 - Let's go again! - All right. Here we go. 309 00:14:58,293 --> 00:14:59,578 Let's roll, please! 310 00:14:59,703 --> 00:15:00,703 Action! 311 00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:03,010 We are trapped in a city 312 00:15:03,178 --> 00:15:05,095 of high furniture prices! 313 00:15:05,763 --> 00:15:09,131 Can no one protect us from these high prices? 314 00:15:10,134 --> 00:15:11,693 Look! Over there! 315 00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,564 It's Save-zilla! 316 00:15:15,732 --> 00:15:18,025 He's knocking down prices on everything 317 00:15:18,193 --> 00:15:19,966 from bibs to cribs! 318 00:15:20,181 --> 00:15:22,162 Half off on playpens! 319 00:15:23,452 --> 00:15:25,201 High chairs are low chairs! 320 00:15:25,326 --> 00:15:26,700 Excuse me. Scuse me. 321 00:15:26,869 --> 00:15:29,536 - Sscuse me! Scuse me! Scuse me! - Cut! What's the problem? 322 00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:33,351 Well, don't you think this commercial just might be the teeniest bit racist? 323 00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:35,042 I mean... Save-zilla? 324 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:37,002 It's not racist. It's satire. 325 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,671 No, I know, but maybe we could just tone it down a bit. 326 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,133 - Maybe not hit the accents so hard? - This is the commercial you agreed to. 327 00:15:43,302 --> 00:15:44,951 Well, I know. I just... 328 00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:48,115 - I can't let my daughter do this. - We had an agreement. 329 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,516 Well, I also have the best attorney in town, so do your worst. 330 00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:54,504 And by the way, Lily is Vietnamese, not Japanese. 331 00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:56,740 There's a big difference, but you wouldn't know, 332 00:15:56,865 --> 00:15:59,190 because you're only interested in seeing these children 333 00:15:59,315 --> 00:16:02,063 as interchangeable stereotypes, not human beings. 334 00:16:02,188 --> 00:16:04,029 Come on, Lily. Let's go. 335 00:16:06,992 --> 00:16:08,391 Cam, that's not... 336 00:16:08,516 --> 00:16:09,701 Hi, buddy. 337 00:16:14,109 --> 00:16:15,290 There we go. 338 00:16:15,691 --> 00:16:17,376 Going to meet your mother. 339 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,494 Figured it out all by myself. 340 00:16:19,908 --> 00:16:21,915 Two years ago, we got our marriage license, 341 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,723 we went to a little hot dog stand 342 00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:26,551 She said was the most romantic meal she ever had in her life. 343 00:16:28,819 --> 00:16:30,319 That's it, isn't it? 344 00:16:31,278 --> 00:16:32,307 Yeah, that's it. 345 00:16:34,835 --> 00:16:38,164 Get this to your head. You can give me the cold shoulder the rest of your life. 346 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:41,274 Jack's not coming back. See, I could overlook the goofing off, 347 00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:43,449 but you could have been seriously hurt today. 348 00:16:43,574 --> 00:16:44,945 Anybody puts my kid in danger 349 00:16:45,113 --> 00:16:47,739 doesn't get a second chance ever. 350 00:16:48,809 --> 00:16:50,259 I'll see you later. 351 00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:52,911 Did you just call me your kid? 352 00:16:54,998 --> 00:16:56,999 - You've never said that before. - Sure I have. 353 00:16:59,272 --> 00:17:01,986 Well, of course you're my kid. I mean, what do you think? 354 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,589 You're going to the wrong place. 355 00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:07,551 - What? - It's not your wedding license. 356 00:17:07,719 --> 00:17:09,177 - What is it? - First kiss. 357 00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:10,762 No. Just tell me. 358 00:17:11,562 --> 00:17:13,724 I mean, your first kiss... with my mom. 359 00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:16,977 My God, you're right. Thanks! 360 00:17:21,149 --> 00:17:22,749 - The pier. - Thanks. 361 00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:25,268 But maybe Sonya didn't make a mistake. 362 00:17:25,393 --> 00:17:27,529 Maybe she just met her soul mate when she was young. 363 00:17:29,489 --> 00:17:30,718 That never happens. 364 00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:33,326 See, she threw her life away, and now she wants out. 365 00:17:33,495 --> 00:17:34,875 Okay, let's cut the crap. 366 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,373 We're not talking about some character on a soap opera here, are we? 367 00:17:40,007 --> 00:17:41,207 No, we're not. 368 00:17:42,038 --> 00:17:43,170 Honey, I'm sorry. 369 00:17:43,338 --> 00:17:45,380 I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but... 370 00:17:46,679 --> 00:17:49,690 I've been feeling this way for a really long time, and... 371 00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:52,304 Can we be honest with each other? 372 00:17:53,810 --> 00:17:55,410 He's kind of a doofus. 373 00:17:55,892 --> 00:17:57,142 I guess, but... 374 00:17:58,222 --> 00:17:59,853 I thought you liked that about him. 375 00:18:01,898 --> 00:18:02,939 No, I never did. 376 00:18:03,772 --> 00:18:04,858 Believe me, honey. 377 00:18:05,738 --> 00:18:07,652 There are many better options out there. 378 00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,720 - Like who? - I don't know. 379 00:18:09,938 --> 00:18:11,313 Off the top of my head... 380 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,700 How about that cute guy who delivers the pizzas? 381 00:18:13,869 --> 00:18:15,285 He's like 18! 382 00:18:15,454 --> 00:18:16,453 So? 383 00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:18,325 Don't mind me, ladies. 384 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:19,841 This is the last one. 385 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:23,966 I've changed the batteries in every last smoke detector in the house. 386 00:18:26,637 --> 00:18:29,234 I think I found a place online where I can sell this organ. 387 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,090 Can you drive me to the black market? 388 00:18:31,215 --> 00:18:33,303 I think they mean a different kind of organ, buddy. 389 00:18:33,472 --> 00:18:34,888 Why are you trying to sell that? 390 00:18:35,057 --> 00:18:37,508 In case things with dad's job get even worse. 391 00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:41,144 Honestly, I don't know why everybody's making such a big deal. 392 00:18:41,423 --> 00:18:42,823 Everything's fine. 393 00:18:43,547 --> 00:18:44,947 It makes no sense! 394 00:18:45,242 --> 00:18:46,483 I changed every one! 395 00:18:46,651 --> 00:18:49,069 - I'm gonna call my dad. - No, we're not calling anyone! 396 00:18:49,237 --> 00:18:50,637 I can handle this. 397 00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,012 I just need the old burglar basher. 398 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,992 Is that your college cheerleading baton? 399 00:18:56,997 --> 00:18:58,912 Not when you're on the business end of it. 400 00:19:03,562 --> 00:19:06,094 Guess that one won't be chirping anymore, will it? 401 00:19:07,255 --> 00:19:08,405 Go after him. 402 00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:10,423 He just needs to blow off some steam. 403 00:19:11,138 --> 00:19:12,671 How's that for battery? 404 00:19:12,796 --> 00:19:14,878 Mom, like it or not, you made a commitment, 405 00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:17,262 and maybe that doesn't mean anything to you anymore, 406 00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:19,599 but you owe it to this family to save your marriage 407 00:19:19,768 --> 00:19:22,561 - and give it one more try. - What? 408 00:19:23,178 --> 00:19:25,433 End of the line, smokey Joe! 409 00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:27,170 Look, dad may be a doofus, 410 00:19:27,295 --> 00:19:30,545 but he is 10 times better than any pizza-delivery boy. 411 00:19:30,973 --> 00:19:32,112 Go to him. 412 00:19:32,487 --> 00:19:33,487 Did you... 413 00:19:33,612 --> 00:19:35,930 I just detected your ass gettin' kicked! 414 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:38,910 Honey... 415 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,578 Thought I forgot about you, didn't you? 416 00:19:41,859 --> 00:19:44,113 - Phil, no. Stop. - I gotta stop the damn chirping. 417 00:19:44,238 --> 00:19:45,834 This isn't about the noise. 418 00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:47,002 Sweetie... 419 00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:48,920 you're having a bad day. 420 00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:54,259 - At the end of a bad month. - I know. 421 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,969 You know how scary that is? 422 00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,372 No, I don't, because you never tell me the bad stuff. 423 00:20:00,497 --> 00:20:02,100 You only share all the good stuff. 424 00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,019 What happened to us being a team? 425 00:20:04,187 --> 00:20:06,188 Right? We're supposed to lean on each other. 426 00:20:06,711 --> 00:20:07,711 Honey... 427 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,741 I have faith in you. 428 00:20:16,658 --> 00:20:18,241 I must be catching your cold. 429 00:20:21,510 --> 00:20:22,710 You know what? 430 00:20:23,111 --> 00:20:24,998 Let's just get new smoke detectors. 431 00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:27,124 We already changed them out last year. 432 00:20:27,249 --> 00:20:29,336 - Remember, buddy? You helped me. - Sure did. 433 00:20:30,801 --> 00:20:32,339 What'd you do with the old ones? 434 00:20:32,507 --> 00:20:34,381 You told me to throw them in the garbage, 435 00:20:34,506 --> 00:20:36,343 so I put them in the attic to make a robot. 436 00:20:36,511 --> 00:20:37,911 It's the old ones. 437 00:20:38,396 --> 00:20:40,889 The batteries are dying, we can hear them through the vents. 438 00:20:41,057 --> 00:20:42,140 You did it, buddy! 439 00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:43,308 I'm sorry. 440 00:20:46,053 --> 00:20:47,953 - I love you. - I love you. 441 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,126 I did that. 442 00:21:02,488 --> 00:21:04,194 That must be the pizza I ordered. 443 00:21:04,319 --> 00:21:06,023 Pizza? You ordered pizza? 444 00:21:06,445 --> 00:21:08,765 I was just sorta in the mood, you know? 445 00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:10,760 But we had pizza a couple nights ago. 446 00:21:10,885 --> 00:21:13,551 I know, but I had an urge, when you get an urge, you get an urge. 447 00:21:13,676 --> 00:21:15,935 - Here, I'll get it! - No, sweetie, I've got it. 448 00:21:16,060 --> 00:21:19,249 You're always asking me to do things. I'll get it. Here, just sit back, relax. 449 00:21:19,374 --> 00:21:21,221 - I'll get it. Don't worry. - Get the change. 450 00:21:25,497 --> 00:21:26,497 Here! 451 00:21:27,042 --> 00:21:29,745 And I think it's best you don't come around here anymore!