1 00:00:02,575 --> 00:00:04,077 So the rate of the fusion 2 00:00:04,245 --> 00:00:06,048 equals something... 3 00:00:06,477 --> 00:00:08,546 Times the square root of... 4 00:00:08,755 --> 00:00:10,006 something... 5 00:00:10,466 --> 00:00:11,467 I give up. 6 00:00:12,423 --> 00:00:14,056 So close. 7 00:00:14,225 --> 00:00:16,185 - Shut up. - Don't worry. You'll get it. 8 00:00:16,353 --> 00:00:17,939 A lot of famous scientists're women. 9 00:00:18,403 --> 00:00:19,817 They're fat, though, right? 10 00:00:20,674 --> 00:00:24,179 Come on, Alex. It's time for your cello lesson. How's the tutoring going? 11 00:00:24,304 --> 00:00:27,123 Are you familiar with the term "Throwing good money after bad"? 12 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:30,630 Are you familiar with the term "Dunphy, party of one"? Because you will be. 13 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,261 - Girls. - Haley's coming along really well. 14 00:00:33,430 --> 00:00:35,804 Good. Good. The key is to take a lot of little breaks 15 00:00:35,929 --> 00:00:38,187 - so you don't get frustrated and quit. - Got it. 16 00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:41,527 I was talking to David. Come on, sweetie. 17 00:00:43,365 --> 00:00:45,451 I'm just saying... She's never gonna get a job, 18 00:00:45,621 --> 00:00:48,162 and how do we know the right middle-eastern businessman 19 00:00:48,287 --> 00:00:49,626 wouldn't treat her great? 20 00:00:49,797 --> 00:00:51,359 I left my shopping list inside. 21 00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,673 For the record, we thought she could live with you. 22 00:00:53,799 --> 00:00:55,806 Like I'm gonna tell any of you where I live. 23 00:01:01,431 --> 00:01:03,905 What? We only do this when I get one right. 24 00:01:04,489 --> 00:01:06,870 Momma should be here by now. I wonder what's keeping her. 25 00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:09,337 Well, Cam, that depends. Did she take her jalopy 26 00:01:09,462 --> 00:01:11,462 or one of them new fancy flyin' machines? 27 00:01:11,631 --> 00:01:14,506 Missouri is more cosmopolitan than you give it credit for. 28 00:01:14,631 --> 00:01:16,597 It's got a very vibrant cowboy-poetry scene. 29 00:01:17,439 --> 00:01:19,771 I'm not sure you're making the point that you think... 30 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:22,074 That's her. Come on. Look alive. Look alive. 31 00:01:26,226 --> 00:01:28,499 My little bomber. Puppy kiss. 32 00:01:30,252 --> 00:01:31,452 Get over here! 33 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:33,339 - My baby's baby! - How are you? 34 00:01:35,636 --> 00:01:37,292 Well, I don't wanna overstate this, 35 00:01:37,417 --> 00:01:39,658 but my mom is the greatest woman that ever lived. 36 00:01:39,784 --> 00:01:40,989 Cam loves his mom. 37 00:01:41,114 --> 00:01:43,797 She raised four kids, two barns, and a whole lot of hell. 38 00:01:43,922 --> 00:01:45,494 That sounds like a country song. 39 00:01:45,619 --> 00:01:49,423 And that song would be called The Greatest Woman That Ever Lived. 40 00:01:49,686 --> 00:01:51,088 Cam loves his mom. 41 00:01:51,326 --> 00:01:53,736 Subtitles by MiniBen314 42 00:01:53,861 --> 00:01:55,926 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 43 00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:05,459 From the minute I met Barb, 44 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:09,411 she has been open and loving and caring. 45 00:02:10,123 --> 00:02:13,165 I have missed these shoulders! 46 00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:17,932 If I had one complaint... 47 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:20,257 and I do... 48 00:02:20,989 --> 00:02:22,277 It's the... 49 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,487 inappropriate putting of her hands on my body. 50 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,592 I got you the cranberries you wanted for the stuffing. 51 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,615 Bless your heart. 52 00:02:35,924 --> 00:02:37,769 Let me get in there and help ya. 53 00:02:41,048 --> 00:02:42,449 And a horsey bite. 54 00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:45,519 This is how I like to cuddle. 55 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:51,078 It's been going on a long time. 56 00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:54,919 Jay, you wanna go to the mall with me? 57 00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:56,965 Actually, my stomach's a little funny today. 58 00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,840 I am so sorry, papi. 59 00:02:58,965 --> 00:03:01,430 Maybe we'll stop first at the crib store, 60 00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:04,020 and you lay down, and I buy you a little dress, huh? 61 00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:06,821 Gloria thinks Americans are babies. 62 00:03:06,946 --> 00:03:09,392 Well, in Colombia, we couldn't go running to the hospital 63 00:03:09,517 --> 00:03:12,245 for every little sniffle or a dislocated shoulder. 64 00:03:18,435 --> 00:03:19,486 Okay. Good. 65 00:03:20,089 --> 00:03:22,015 5-6. I serve. Huh? 66 00:03:25,190 --> 00:03:26,599 Jay, what are your symptoms? 67 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,638 Nausea, bloating? 68 00:03:29,764 --> 00:03:33,031 Manny, what did I say about getting off that crazy doctor website? 69 00:03:33,156 --> 00:03:34,595 I'm just worried about Jay. 70 00:03:34,721 --> 00:03:38,130 Stomach pains can mean a lot of things... Intestinal blockage... 71 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,343 - Do you have a fever? - Stop it! 72 00:03:40,706 --> 00:03:42,663 Manny, he's fine. Tell him you're fine. 73 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,267 - I'm fine. - Good. In the car. 74 00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:46,554 Home fine, not mall fine. 75 00:03:47,317 --> 00:03:49,527 You know what happens when I shop angry. 76 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,073 I'll clear a space. 77 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,878 - I'm not loving your color. - Go play. 78 00:03:59,371 --> 00:04:00,672 Don't be a hero. 79 00:04:01,326 --> 00:04:05,180 So, dumb guys go for dumb girls, and smart guys go for dumb girls? 80 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,815 - What do the smart girls get? - Cats mostly. 81 00:04:07,983 --> 00:04:10,862 So, Haley, how long have I been paying this guy to make out with you? 82 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,353 About a week. 83 00:04:12,478 --> 00:04:15,204 First it was just to shut him up, but now I'm starting to like him. 84 00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:17,751 If you really like him, though, you have to break up with Dylan. 85 00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:19,716 What? No! 86 00:04:20,048 --> 00:04:22,720 Believe me. And it's best for everybody if you do it quickly. 87 00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:25,431 I can't believe we're having this conversation. 88 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,020 He's like part of the family. 89 00:04:27,145 --> 00:04:29,934 Trust me... It's the right thing to do. 90 00:04:30,059 --> 00:04:31,160 Just end it. 91 00:04:31,554 --> 00:04:33,409 Okay, but be gentle. 92 00:04:34,054 --> 00:04:36,371 Boys are surprisingly sensitive at that age. 93 00:04:36,539 --> 00:04:38,440 - Water-polo-girl story. - Yes, I'm gonna tell 94 00:04:38,565 --> 00:04:40,588 the water-polo-girl story, 'cause it hurt! 95 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:43,677 So I'm working in the principal's office. 96 00:04:43,847 --> 00:04:46,899 She walks in, hair all silver from the chlorine... 97 00:04:47,766 --> 00:04:49,689 Tells me she wants her varsity jacket back. 98 00:04:50,107 --> 00:04:52,710 I tear up a little, then I tear up a lot. 99 00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:55,790 I'm begging, I'm begging, at some point I realize 100 00:04:55,915 --> 00:04:59,033 I'm sitting on the button to the high-school intercom system. 101 00:04:59,158 --> 00:05:00,536 Yuk it up, ladies. 102 00:05:00,661 --> 00:05:02,759 Wasn't funny then, is not funny now. 103 00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:04,669 It was traumatic, Haley. 104 00:05:06,174 --> 00:05:08,519 Don't do Dylan like Linda "The Cannon" Concannon did me. 105 00:05:09,587 --> 00:05:10,588 Honey... 106 00:05:10,819 --> 00:05:13,153 That was a long time ago. 107 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:14,848 I loved her. 108 00:05:15,093 --> 00:05:16,689 Okay. I know. 109 00:05:17,496 --> 00:05:18,497 You know what? 110 00:05:19,082 --> 00:05:22,131 I'll call Dylan after he talks to Haley. He's gonna need someone to lean on. 111 00:05:22,339 --> 00:05:25,136 But that someone should not be his ex-girlfriend's father. 112 00:05:25,884 --> 00:05:28,475 Honey, when Dylan is out of her life, he should be out of ours. 113 00:05:28,644 --> 00:05:31,261 - You've always hated Dylan. - I have not always hated Dylan. 114 00:05:31,386 --> 00:05:33,545 I have always thought that Haley could do better. 115 00:05:33,670 --> 00:05:35,991 Plus, the new boyfriend is super smart. 116 00:05:37,427 --> 00:05:39,129 It's done. We broke up. 117 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,826 - What? - I texted Dylan. It's over. 118 00:05:42,818 --> 00:05:44,319 I'll bet that's him. 119 00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:47,469 Sad-face emoticon! 120 00:05:47,894 --> 00:05:50,060 You can feel the hurt through the phone! 121 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,653 Cam's mom spend the half of dinner with her hands... all over me. 122 00:05:56,779 --> 00:05:59,878 It was like she was blind and wanted to know what my thighs looked like. 123 00:06:00,964 --> 00:06:01,965 Are you sure? 124 00:06:02,283 --> 00:06:04,888 Are you really the best judge of this kind of a thing? 125 00:06:05,135 --> 00:06:07,848 - You've had boundary issues since ever. - I have not! 126 00:06:08,874 --> 00:06:12,102 Sorry. My mistake. Must be Cam's mom... 127 00:06:12,696 --> 00:06:13,748 Her issues. 128 00:06:14,213 --> 00:06:16,109 - What are you doing? - Just getting a spoon. 129 00:06:16,234 --> 00:06:18,233 - Stop it. Yes, it is. - Is it bothering you? 130 00:06:18,358 --> 00:06:20,811 Claire, stop it! Stop it! Force field! 131 00:06:21,534 --> 00:06:23,466 That never stops being fun. 132 00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:26,658 Good. Listen, this is not in my head, Claire. 133 00:06:26,784 --> 00:06:29,145 - And it's actually getting worse. - What does Cam say? 134 00:06:29,313 --> 00:06:32,478 Well, he never seems to notice. And I certainly can't talk to him about it 135 00:06:32,603 --> 00:06:35,607 because God forbid I say anything negative about his mom. 136 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:38,077 One time I added salt to her casserole... 137 00:06:38,202 --> 00:06:40,417 and he went into the garage and punched the car. 138 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,506 If this is happening, and I'm pretty sure it isn't... 139 00:06:43,754 --> 00:06:44,954 Thank you. Supportive. 140 00:06:45,079 --> 00:06:48,349 Then you need Cam to see his mom feeling you up and then make Cam deal with it. 141 00:06:50,414 --> 00:06:51,665 Think about it. 142 00:06:56,172 --> 00:06:58,996 Or, I guess, now that Haley and I broke up, I should call you Claire. 143 00:06:59,243 --> 00:07:02,515 We're gonna stick with Mrs. Dunphy. Come on in. How are you doing? 144 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,742 Not so good. 145 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,993 I mean, everywhere I look, I see her face. 146 00:07:09,523 --> 00:07:11,521 To be fair, Dylan, that is a family portrait. 147 00:07:11,689 --> 00:07:13,650 I gotta go get some of my stuff. Is that cool? 148 00:07:13,819 --> 00:07:15,070 Sure. Yeah. 149 00:07:18,485 --> 00:07:19,937 There she is again! 150 00:07:22,953 --> 00:07:25,186 Don't look on the bookshelf! You're just gonna... 151 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,063 Kid, you got a minute? 152 00:07:29,188 --> 00:07:31,018 I need the name of that medical website. 153 00:07:31,265 --> 00:07:34,187 Can this wait until I'm home? I'm having the round of my life. 154 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,521 I've been thinking, I might have a couple of those... 155 00:07:36,646 --> 00:07:38,408 symptoms you were talking about. 156 00:07:38,654 --> 00:07:39,655 I see. 157 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,896 You might as well play through. It's gonna be a while. 158 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:46,132 I mean, I'm probably wrong, but, you know, I just wanna make sure. 159 00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:47,838 - Is that Manny? - Work. 160 00:07:48,847 --> 00:07:51,852 So, tell them I'll get that order out this afternoon, huh? 161 00:07:52,098 --> 00:07:54,399 Did she buy that? Because it sounded fake on this end. 162 00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:55,692 I'll talk to you later. 163 00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:08,167 Now that you guys are broken up, you can call me whatever you want. 164 00:08:08,292 --> 00:08:10,513 Phil, Vitamin P, P Daddy. 165 00:08:10,963 --> 00:08:12,731 - Okay, Phil. - Okay. 166 00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:17,277 I'm gonna miss that bad boy. When I forget my own axe, 167 00:08:17,445 --> 00:08:19,573 sometimes I come in here and noodle on it. 168 00:08:20,092 --> 00:08:22,386 Actually, I've been writing a little song of my own. 169 00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:24,655 Might be able to pluck out a few... 170 00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:27,047 You know, I keep on hoping that this is just a dream, 171 00:08:27,293 --> 00:08:29,365 that Haley and I didn't really break up. 172 00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:30,967 But it's not a dream... 173 00:08:31,092 --> 00:08:34,269 Unless the whole thing was a dream and we never even dated in the first place. 174 00:08:34,516 --> 00:08:36,744 Weird, this is kind of what my song's about. 175 00:08:36,869 --> 00:08:37,870 Weird. 176 00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:44,540 I know this is tough, but you're gonna be fine. 177 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,606 You know, I was a lot like you in high school... 178 00:08:47,732 --> 00:08:50,510 Except my hair was shorter and my guitar was a flute. 179 00:08:53,023 --> 00:08:56,522 If you want your own guitar, I mean, we could go out and we'd pick you one. 180 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,897 I don't know if that's such a good idea. 181 00:08:59,777 --> 00:09:00,990 Yeah. Totally. 182 00:09:01,158 --> 00:09:02,159 Well... 183 00:09:02,745 --> 00:09:04,319 I guess I'll get going. 184 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:05,445 So... 185 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,963 I can... 186 00:09:07,507 --> 00:09:09,214 Well, be alone forever. 187 00:09:12,894 --> 00:09:14,583 What the hell? Yeah! 188 00:09:15,348 --> 00:09:16,725 Let's go guitar shopping. 189 00:09:17,064 --> 00:09:18,065 Awesome. 190 00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,821 Do me a favor. Don't tell Mrs. Dunphy? 191 00:09:21,366 --> 00:09:24,419 - Yeah. Definitely. You got it. - Okay. All right. 192 00:09:24,976 --> 00:09:26,477 I guess I'll see ya. 193 00:09:29,272 --> 00:09:31,760 You can go ahead and exit through the front door. 194 00:09:32,135 --> 00:09:33,847 Right. Habit. 195 00:09:37,025 --> 00:09:39,525 - My old yearbook! - You know I saved them all. 196 00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:42,971 - Look. - What? 197 00:09:43,096 --> 00:09:45,976 "You're the cutest boy in school. We're gonna have an awesome summer. 198 00:09:46,101 --> 00:09:48,111 Smooches - Brenda." 199 00:09:49,578 --> 00:09:53,157 Brenda, you are about to have the most confusing summer of your life. 200 00:09:54,055 --> 00:09:55,056 Hey, guys! 201 00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:58,550 There's Mitchell! My little corn silk! 202 00:10:02,181 --> 00:10:04,033 You are such a good hugger. 203 00:10:04,739 --> 00:10:06,449 Isn't she the best hugger? 204 00:10:06,617 --> 00:10:07,876 Thank you. 205 00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:10,335 And look what I got you, Barb. 206 00:10:10,719 --> 00:10:13,060 What's that? Scratchers! 207 00:10:13,185 --> 00:10:14,553 Thank you. 208 00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:16,618 Nice. 209 00:10:16,911 --> 00:10:18,746 That's your tea. I'm gonna get your tea. 210 00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:20,440 Thanks, honey. I need a quarter. 211 00:10:21,589 --> 00:10:24,380 - Let me have that. - Feel free to fish around in there. 212 00:10:26,056 --> 00:10:28,414 - I'd like a cup, too, please. - Just a second. 213 00:10:30,192 --> 00:10:32,547 You know what? I strained myself so bad today. 214 00:10:33,478 --> 00:10:34,593 What's hurtin' on ya? 215 00:10:34,762 --> 00:10:38,194 It's this area between my lower back and upper thigh. 216 00:10:38,564 --> 00:10:40,461 - Sounds like your fanny. - It's my fanny. 217 00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:41,942 It's really knotted up. 218 00:10:42,188 --> 00:10:45,588 - You need someone to work on that. - I would love that. Just... 219 00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:48,162 it's really seized up. Just put your fingers all over my... 220 00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:49,451 my fanny. 221 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,242 Your magic fingers... 222 00:10:52,247 --> 00:10:53,840 Momma? Your tea. 223 00:10:54,465 --> 00:10:55,510 Thanks, sweetie. 224 00:10:56,138 --> 00:10:58,139 See you in the room for a minute? Thank you. 225 00:10:58,264 --> 00:11:00,311 It's very hot. Don't burn your tongue. 226 00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,678 Okay, I am not gonna cry, but I want to know why, Mitchell, 227 00:11:07,804 --> 00:11:09,997 why you are presenting to my mother like a baboon. 228 00:11:10,448 --> 00:11:12,127 I wanted you to see her fondling me. 229 00:11:12,632 --> 00:11:14,434 So, you do want me to cry. 230 00:11:15,004 --> 00:11:18,676 She's always touching me inappropriately and you never seem to notice. 231 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,130 Show me, Mitchell. 232 00:11:20,255 --> 00:11:23,315 Show me on lily's doll where my mother is touching you. 233 00:11:23,604 --> 00:11:26,143 I know that you don't want to hear this, but she's handsy, 234 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:28,270 and it makes me uncomfortable. 235 00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:30,538 My God. I know what this is. 236 00:11:30,827 --> 00:11:32,753 You're not used to a mother that shows affection. 237 00:11:32,878 --> 00:11:35,305 - Do not make this about my mother. - I didn't. 238 00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:38,304 But it is normal for a mother to be physical. 239 00:11:38,592 --> 00:11:39,934 And it is not strange 240 00:11:40,059 --> 00:11:42,730 for an occasional hug or a little pat on fanny. 241 00:11:42,976 --> 00:11:45,128 Okay, these aren't pats, Cam, no. 242 00:11:45,558 --> 00:11:47,113 She squeezes and lingers! 243 00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,994 Show me where she squeezes and lingers. 244 00:11:50,859 --> 00:11:52,260 Put the doll down. 245 00:11:52,674 --> 00:11:56,131 I don't know if this is just sexual or crazy town, 246 00:11:56,378 --> 00:12:00,260 but your mother cannot keep her hands off of me, and it's creeping me out 247 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:09,497 Let me show you where you stabbed my momma. 248 00:12:12,225 --> 00:12:14,893 Thanks for helping me pick out my axe. You were so right, by the way. 249 00:12:15,018 --> 00:12:17,118 The one with two necks would have been overkill. 250 00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,621 - If you want, you can have some. - Diet starts tomorrow! 251 00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:21,515 Don't tell Mrs. Dunphy about this, either. 252 00:12:22,050 --> 00:12:25,523 I always wanted to go to this place with Haley, but she said it looked stupid. 253 00:12:25,854 --> 00:12:27,552 She's a girl with strong opinions... 254 00:12:27,677 --> 00:12:30,582 Like her mother. Claire hates this new sweatshirt I bought. 255 00:12:30,828 --> 00:12:33,027 She says it looks like something a girl would wear. 256 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,158 Yeah, it does. 257 00:12:34,283 --> 00:12:35,798 But I wear it anyway. 258 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:36,924 See? 259 00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:40,052 I figure, why be alive if you can't do the things you're passionate about? 260 00:12:41,164 --> 00:12:42,892 What are you passionate about, Dylan? 261 00:12:44,123 --> 00:12:47,650 - I always wanted to drive to Graceland. - Fun! What else? 262 00:12:47,819 --> 00:12:49,999 I know a guy who can get me a pet bobcat. 263 00:12:50,124 --> 00:12:52,118 You don't really know what they're gonna do. 264 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:55,733 The point is, you got your whole life ahead of you. 265 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,309 Enjoy being single. 266 00:12:58,002 --> 00:13:00,886 I really got to play that song for you. This is all in there. 267 00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,004 Awesome. Be right back. 268 00:13:12,706 --> 00:13:13,707 Come here. 269 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,142 Is that guy over there with someone? 270 00:13:17,484 --> 00:13:20,257 - There was anything going on? - I don'know. 271 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,127 They were talking about taking a trip to Graceland together. 272 00:13:23,771 --> 00:13:27,028 He just wants to go 'cause he thinks it's an amusement park! 273 00:13:31,991 --> 00:13:33,233 I gotta tell you, 274 00:13:33,358 --> 00:13:35,530 this is looking more and more like diverticulitis. 275 00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:39,243 Do they say how to treat it? Like a heating pad or... There it is again. 276 00:13:39,368 --> 00:13:42,471 - Describe the pain. - It's like I'm being stabbed, 277 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,347 but also like I ate a bad scallop 278 00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:46,400 that's stabbing me from the inside. 279 00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:48,773 That's colorful, but there's no box for that. 280 00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,817 - What are you guys looking at? - Huffington post... Girls. 281 00:13:51,993 --> 00:13:53,995 Manny, let me see that screen. 282 00:13:55,244 --> 00:13:57,274 - What did I tell you? - It's not his fault. 283 00:13:57,399 --> 00:14:00,366 I asked him to look. I'm starting to think I have a serious problem here. 284 00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:02,026 Yes, you do! That computer! 285 00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:04,652 You read it there, you think it here, you feel it here. 286 00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,440 You want to feel better? 287 00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:09,052 There... You're cured. 288 00:14:11,594 --> 00:14:15,117 Give me 15 minutes, then tell Florence ightingale I went to the hospital. 289 00:14:23,323 --> 00:14:25,281 I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna kill him! 290 00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:27,470 - I'm gonna kill both of them! - What happened? 291 00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:29,419 Dylan has a new girlfriend! 292 00:14:29,544 --> 00:14:31,897 - When did that happen? - Who cares? 293 00:14:32,342 --> 00:14:35,057 I'm just surprised he didn't say anything... to you. 294 00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,394 He's not answering my texts. How could he do this to me? 295 00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:40,482 Honey, you were the one who broke up with him. 296 00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:43,653 I didn't think he was gonna find someone so fast! 297 00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:45,408 Maybe he's better than I thought. 298 00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:48,705 No, he's not. What? No, he's not better! 299 00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:50,312 No, you know who's better? 300 00:14:50,437 --> 00:14:53,105 David, David the tutor. Smart, smart David? 301 00:14:54,256 --> 00:14:55,747 Maybe that's him right now! 302 00:14:55,872 --> 00:14:58,392 Do you want the house to yourself? For just a little while. 303 00:15:03,625 --> 00:15:04,977 I got your texts. 304 00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:06,826 - You swore a lot. - Who is she? 305 00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:08,695 - Who is who? - Your new girlfriend. 306 00:15:08,821 --> 00:15:10,625 Name and address, so I can mess her up. 307 00:15:10,934 --> 00:15:12,518 I don't have a new girlfriend. 308 00:15:12,643 --> 00:15:14,698 - Don't play dumb, Dylan. - I'm not. 309 00:15:14,824 --> 00:15:18,349 - I'm never playing dumb! - I saw you at that stupid restaurant, 310 00:15:18,657 --> 00:15:21,245 sharing a sundae with her ugly sweatshirt on the chair. 311 00:15:22,919 --> 00:15:24,320 Is that the skank? 312 00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:27,367 - No, there's no skank. - Then why aren't you answering it? 313 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,706 Cause I wanna talk to you. 314 00:15:30,116 --> 00:15:32,350 Well, I want to talk to her. I'm gonna call her back 315 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,362 and tell her to keep her hands off of what belongs to me. 316 00:15:36,571 --> 00:15:37,572 Hello. 317 00:15:38,132 --> 00:15:39,133 Dad? 318 00:15:43,736 --> 00:15:47,171 My God... The sweatshirt? That was you with Dylan? 319 00:15:47,464 --> 00:15:50,434 - Wait, you're the other girl? - No, we're just friends! 320 00:15:50,559 --> 00:15:52,111 Phil, what are you... 321 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,644 Put the phone down. What is going on? 322 00:15:54,938 --> 00:15:56,481 He needed someone to talk to. 323 00:15:56,807 --> 00:15:58,959 He took the break-up pretty hard. 324 00:15:59,483 --> 00:16:00,484 You did? 325 00:16:01,538 --> 00:16:03,899 I mean, I kept on hopping that we'd get back together. 326 00:16:04,206 --> 00:16:06,970 Thinking of you with someone else just drove me crazy. 327 00:16:07,095 --> 00:16:08,497 Me too, baby. 328 00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:12,180 But then your dad helped me figure out maybe it's best if we're apart. 329 00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:13,875 - Nice. - I mean, 330 00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:18,010 I think I just need a little time to date Dylan. 331 00:16:18,318 --> 00:16:21,021 And I mean me, not another guy named Dylan. 332 00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:23,325 So, we're still broken up? 333 00:16:24,134 --> 00:16:25,485 Yeah, I think so. 334 00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:33,136 I don't know... I'll see you. 335 00:16:34,807 --> 00:16:35,808 Bye. 336 00:16:38,951 --> 00:16:41,235 Are you okay, baby? Do you need another pillow? 337 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,271 I know you think this is nothing, but he did say it could be an ulcer. 338 00:16:44,439 --> 00:16:46,005 He also said it could be gas. 339 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,487 Do you want me to burp you? Come here. Come here. 340 00:16:49,303 --> 00:16:50,613 Dollars to doughnuts, 341 00:16:50,739 --> 00:16:52,705 - it's diverticulitis. - Actually, it's not. 342 00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:56,713 You have acute pendicitis. We need to get you into surgery right away. 343 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:59,444 Emergency surgery. I told you it was something. 344 00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:01,931 That can't be right. Check again! 345 00:17:02,239 --> 00:17:04,910 The tests are conclusive. Everything will be all right. 346 00:17:05,035 --> 00:17:07,129 - Let's go. - No, Jay, if that's true, 347 00:17:07,352 --> 00:17:09,340 then I'm the worst wife in the whole wide world! 348 00:17:09,465 --> 00:17:11,006 I made you suffer two whole days! 349 00:17:11,299 --> 00:17:13,510 - Honey, it's okay. - No, it's not okay! 350 00:17:13,721 --> 00:17:16,078 Why? Why do I always almost kill my husbands? 351 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:19,990 And I wanna hear this story, but I'm sort of counting down to a rupture here! 352 00:17:20,346 --> 00:17:22,305 You can't go without forgiving me! 353 00:17:22,613 --> 00:17:24,702 What if you die in there? What do I do without you? 354 00:17:24,827 --> 00:17:27,454 I forgive you, but nobody dies of an appendectomy! 355 00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:31,156 True, it's usually the anesthesia that gets you. You're over 60, right? 356 00:17:31,563 --> 00:17:33,917 I will never forget you, Jay! 357 00:17:34,042 --> 00:17:36,644 Could you go back to not caring, please? 358 00:17:37,476 --> 00:17:38,978 Mitchell, it's Barb. 359 00:17:39,921 --> 00:17:41,072 I'm so sorry. 360 00:17:41,197 --> 00:17:43,800 Well, no, no, honey, you hush. Look, I... 361 00:17:44,456 --> 00:17:47,259 I've been thinking about what I heard, and... 362 00:17:47,746 --> 00:17:49,748 maybe I do touch you too much. 363 00:17:50,716 --> 00:17:53,418 And I could say it's 'cause we're a family, 364 00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:55,617 but, you know, I don't know. 365 00:17:56,085 --> 00:17:59,338 I guess I have been having some fun with you, and I... 366 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,859 I thought that it was harmless, but, 367 00:18:02,226 --> 00:18:04,779 I would never want to make you uncomfortable. 368 00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:06,586 Barb, it's my fault, too. 369 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,279 So we're okay? 370 00:18:08,404 --> 00:18:09,839 Yes, yes, of course. 371 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:10,965 Thank God. 372 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,572 Cause I couldn't live with myself 373 00:18:14,697 --> 00:18:17,274 if things stayed weird between us. 374 00:18:18,727 --> 00:18:19,754 What is it? 375 00:18:20,589 --> 00:18:22,553 Well, we got it all worked out, sweetie! 376 00:18:22,678 --> 00:18:25,807 - Great. Let me get my camera! - Okay, that's not necessary... No! 377 00:18:26,132 --> 00:18:27,978 From now on, if... 378 00:18:28,146 --> 00:18:30,984 I go too far, please, you just tell me about it. 379 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:32,847 What is that? 380 00:18:33,165 --> 00:18:34,449 Almost lost my bracelet. 381 00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,194 That would be an area that's okay. 382 00:18:37,319 --> 00:18:39,165 - Dang it! - I'll get it. I'll get it. 383 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:42,665 - I saw where it fell. - Force field! Force field! 384 00:18:43,732 --> 00:18:44,804 What's going on? 385 00:18:44,972 --> 00:18:46,849 I lost my bracelet in here. 386 00:18:47,157 --> 00:18:50,354 Listen, I think this might be one of those situations 387 00:18:50,479 --> 00:18:53,237 where Mitchell feels like you're crossing a boundary. 388 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:55,100 Really? 389 00:18:55,814 --> 00:18:56,828 Like, this too? 390 00:18:58,076 --> 00:18:59,077 Well... 391 00:19:01,113 --> 00:19:04,616 I got to have a good long think about how I conduct myself. 392 00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:08,232 - I'm truly sorry, Mitchell. - It's okay! It's okay. 393 00:19:09,244 --> 00:19:12,317 Let's take one quick picture, and we'll get out of his way. 394 00:19:12,624 --> 00:19:14,568 - Scooch together there. - This all right? 395 00:19:23,345 --> 00:19:24,396 I miss him. 396 00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:28,655 He was your first real boyfriend. 397 00:19:29,165 --> 00:19:31,267 I keep expecting him to show up. 398 00:19:32,053 --> 00:19:35,178 He used to come by at night, and I'd sneak out to see him. 399 00:19:35,303 --> 00:19:36,454 Yeah, I know. 400 00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:37,836 You knew? 401 00:19:38,181 --> 00:19:41,284 His car is 30 years old and doesn't have a muffler. 402 00:19:41,818 --> 00:19:43,019 And he honked. 403 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,093 I loved that car. 404 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,772 I rode in it to the guitar store. 405 00:19:50,784 --> 00:19:52,535 I felt like I was flying. 406 00:19:56,045 --> 00:19:58,547 I know it hurts now, sweetheart, but... 407 00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:01,791 that's how you know it was a relationship worth having. 408 00:20:14,127 --> 00:20:15,228 Thanks, dad. 409 00:20:30,851 --> 00:20:33,153 So, Dylan, are you loving Graceland? 410 00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:35,776 Yeah, that's true. 411 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,096 Probable would be cooller if they had roller coasters. 412 00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:42,074 So, it's fun to see where The King lived, huh? 413 00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:46,519 That's just an expression. America doesn't have a king. 414 00:20:49,805 --> 00:20:50,806 Sure. 415 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:54,687 When? 416 00:20:55,848 --> 00:20:58,000 Well, that's not always the case. 417 00:20:59,242 --> 00:21:02,491 So, Dylan, did you get a chance to listen to that song I sent you? 418 00:21:03,723 --> 00:21:05,173 You got seven minutes?