1 00:00:04,175 --> 00:00:06,560 - Good night, sweet pea. - Good night, honey. 2 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:13,526 - There's a stranger in our hot tub! - Who is it? 3 00:00:13,651 --> 00:00:15,973 You do know what "stranger" means, don't you? 4 00:00:17,544 --> 00:00:18,934 How long has he been there? 5 00:00:19,059 --> 00:00:22,725 I saw him exactly one second before you. You know everything I know. 6 00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:24,711 - I'm calling 911. - I'm getting my bat. 7 00:00:28,594 --> 00:00:31,067 - Maybe we're overreacting. - He could have a good reason... 8 00:00:31,192 --> 00:00:33,373 - We should at least say hello. - It's only polite. 9 00:00:34,514 --> 00:00:36,924 Subtitles by MiniBen314 10 00:00:37,049 --> 00:00:39,114 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 11 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,734 So I looked that coyote dead in the eye, 12 00:00:48,859 --> 00:00:51,511 and I let him know, without saying a word, 13 00:00:51,757 --> 00:00:53,408 "I will not harm you... 14 00:00:54,319 --> 00:00:56,021 but I'm the alpha here." 15 00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:58,189 And he just stared back at me... 16 00:00:58,314 --> 00:00:59,365 mesmerized. 17 00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,251 Amazing. 18 00:01:05,126 --> 00:01:07,682 Turns out, Barry just moved into the apartment upstairs 19 00:01:07,807 --> 00:01:10,024 and thought the hot tub was for the whole building. 20 00:01:10,149 --> 00:01:12,615 Anyway, he's a super-cool guy, and he's straight, 21 00:01:12,842 --> 00:01:14,543 so there's no weirdness. 22 00:01:14,923 --> 00:01:17,014 Aside from you turning into a 16-year-old girl. 23 00:01:17,139 --> 00:01:18,140 I did not. 24 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,789 Cameron, give me your arm. 25 00:01:26,685 --> 00:01:27,711 Whatcha doin'? 26 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,080 I'm studying to be a reiki master. 27 00:01:30,205 --> 00:01:32,722 What I'm doing is I'm transferring my positive energy 28 00:01:32,890 --> 00:01:36,353 into Cameron, and I'm taking out all the negative energy. 29 00:01:36,522 --> 00:01:38,090 - Now, do you feel that? - I do. 30 00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:40,028 - Does it feel warm? - It does. 31 00:01:40,197 --> 00:01:43,550 - It feels warm, Mitchell. - Imagine that. In a hot tub. 32 00:01:44,692 --> 00:01:46,636 What are you gonna do when he drives by? 33 00:01:46,762 --> 00:01:48,726 I'm gonna tell him to slow down. 34 00:01:48,851 --> 00:01:50,883 I think you should drag him out of his car, 35 00:01:51,052 --> 00:01:54,014 and we all get turns punching him in the stomach until he barfs. 36 00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:57,188 Honey, I think I'm just gonna turn over his license plate to the police. 37 00:01:57,313 --> 00:01:58,314 Please. 38 00:01:58,666 --> 00:02:02,072 Order a pizza and call the cops. We'll see who gets here first. 39 00:02:02,710 --> 00:02:04,828 Ever since they put those speed bumps on Oakmont, 40 00:02:05,243 --> 00:02:08,051 some lunatic driver in a crazy sports car 41 00:02:08,176 --> 00:02:10,727 has been racing down our street, and it is dangerous. 42 00:02:10,852 --> 00:02:13,065 We've got kids here and babies in strollers 43 00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:14,650 and moms who like to jog. 44 00:02:14,776 --> 00:02:17,892 She has to run every day, or she goes crazy. She's like a border collie. 45 00:02:18,017 --> 00:02:19,969 You're comparing me to a dog? 46 00:02:21,093 --> 00:02:23,145 The smartest dogs in the world. 47 00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:29,999 - What are you guys doing? - What the cops won't. 48 00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,868 We are catching that speeder, 49 00:02:31,993 --> 00:02:34,226 and when we do, he's gonna get an earful of this. 50 00:02:34,351 --> 00:02:36,056 Slow down, jerk! 51 00:02:36,225 --> 00:02:37,695 - Easy. - What are you doing? 52 00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,315 - Why are you being such a freak? - For safety. 53 00:02:40,484 --> 00:02:43,697 And I'm doing this for you, because I don't want anything to happen to you. 54 00:02:43,866 --> 00:02:45,914 Well, it's embarrassing. Mom, you need a life. 55 00:02:46,039 --> 00:02:48,536 Why can't you just volunteer at the museum 56 00:02:48,661 --> 00:02:50,418 or bring pudding to old people? 57 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,216 Honey, if anybody's being embarrassing right now, it's you. 58 00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:55,430 I am your father! 59 00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:57,699 That takes me back to the delivery room. 60 00:02:57,824 --> 00:03:00,355 That's what I said when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts. 61 00:03:02,402 --> 00:03:03,987 My God, I know those girls. 62 00:03:04,156 --> 00:03:05,904 What? Are you ashamed of us? 63 00:03:06,439 --> 00:03:07,703 Sweet valley high! 64 00:03:07,872 --> 00:03:11,001 This is that woman from the house on Seventh street! 65 00:03:11,170 --> 00:03:12,851 If I sell it by the end of next month, 66 00:03:12,976 --> 00:03:15,259 I dethrone Gil Thorpe as salesman of the quarter. 67 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,931 - That's awesome, dad. - It is awesome. 68 00:03:19,344 --> 00:03:20,645 That's the speeder! 69 00:03:20,815 --> 00:03:22,580 Slow down, jerk! Slow down! 70 00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:24,027 Yeah, that's great. 71 00:03:24,196 --> 00:03:25,488 Okay, fire away. 72 00:03:25,657 --> 00:03:27,525 - 2-U-R-N-8-0-1. - Just the address. 73 00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:29,371 - Yep. Okay. 1-0... - 8-0-1... A pen! 74 00:03:29,539 --> 00:03:32,962 - 0, 1... North... Seventh... - I gave it to dad. 75 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,550 - U, R... God. - ... street. Okay. 10-4. 76 00:03:36,423 --> 00:03:39,026 This is gonna be my best year since 2006. 77 00:03:40,902 --> 00:03:42,969 Let's go, kid. Back to the salt mine. 78 00:03:43,151 --> 00:03:45,194 That's okay, Jay. I'm biking to school today. 79 00:03:45,363 --> 00:03:47,263 - Good for you. - There's a bunch of cool kids 80 00:03:47,388 --> 00:03:49,494 who ride their bikes every day. Thought I'd join them. 81 00:03:50,281 --> 00:03:51,498 Wait, wait... 82 00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:54,146 - What the hell is that? - My new bike. 83 00:03:54,271 --> 00:03:56,633 Mom got it for me yesterday. Pretty sweet, huh? 84 00:03:57,298 --> 00:04:00,051 - Training wheels? - Nice ones. Custom made. 85 00:04:00,187 --> 00:04:02,266 They don't usually come on bikes this size. 86 00:04:02,391 --> 00:04:04,232 - What? - You don't know how to ride a bike? 87 00:04:04,401 --> 00:04:08,408 - I know how to ride this bike. - Stephen Hawking could ride that bike. 88 00:04:09,596 --> 00:04:12,248 - What happened? Did he fall? - How could he fall? 89 00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,621 You can't send him on a bike with training wheels. 90 00:04:14,747 --> 00:04:16,507 They'll make fun. Didn't you teach him 91 00:04:16,676 --> 00:04:18,887 - how to ride a bike? - How? I don't know how. 92 00:04:19,055 --> 00:04:21,778 2/3 of my house can't do what a billion chinese do. 93 00:04:21,903 --> 00:04:24,335 My mother thought that riding a bike was dangerous. 94 00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:26,861 She would say, "That's how people grab you!" 95 00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,683 This is how it's going down. Today I'm driving you to school, 96 00:04:29,808 --> 00:04:31,684 on the weekend, I'm buying you a bike, 97 00:04:31,809 --> 00:04:33,917 - and I'm teaching both of you. - I'm nervous... 98 00:04:34,085 --> 00:04:35,169 But I'm excited. 99 00:04:35,338 --> 00:04:37,016 You two have fun. I pass. 100 00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:40,722 It makes no sense. There's no reason that thing should stay upright. 101 00:04:40,891 --> 00:04:43,596 There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works. 102 00:04:47,528 --> 00:04:50,032 - Hey, Phil. Come on in. - Laura, good day. 103 00:04:50,585 --> 00:04:53,155 Well, I couldn't love this entry any more. 104 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,792 It's very welcoming. 105 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,255 I got a thing in 10 minutes, so I have to make this quick. 106 00:04:57,423 --> 00:05:00,386 Great. Let me run through my three-pronged approach to selling... 107 00:05:00,555 --> 00:05:02,599 I only need one prong, sell the house. 108 00:05:02,768 --> 00:05:04,311 I don't want to be that yutz 109 00:05:04,479 --> 00:05:06,894 who prices her house too high so it sits around for a year 110 00:05:07,019 --> 00:05:09,425 while every lookie-loo without something to do on sundays 111 00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:11,910 is going through my underwear drawer. What's the number? 112 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:14,790 - There are quite a few factors... - Need a number. 113 00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:18,213 We list at 1.4. We take anything north of 1.25. 114 00:05:18,641 --> 00:05:19,642 Done! 115 00:05:20,094 --> 00:05:21,095 Great! 116 00:05:21,513 --> 00:05:23,140 I got all the paperwork right here. 117 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,480 You gotta buy me a beer before you can put your hand up my sweater. 118 00:05:27,162 --> 00:05:28,392 I had no intention... 119 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:31,573 Put on a great open house this weekend, the listing's yours. 120 00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:34,246 Bring it, Laura. 121 00:05:34,515 --> 00:05:37,286 You wanna test me? I've been tested my whole life. 122 00:05:37,411 --> 00:05:39,463 They could never find anything. 123 00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:42,550 So, sunday 12:00 to 4:00 for the open house? 124 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,194 - That works for you? - Great. 125 00:05:44,319 --> 00:05:46,685 Great. And if you have any questions or you need anything, 126 00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:48,410 just call. When you work with me, 127 00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:50,641 - you're working with a friend. - That is so sweet. 128 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,158 I like you. God, I hope I don't have to fire you. 129 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,053 Hi. This is Claire. Leave a message. 130 00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:05,438 Honey, It's me. I just finished the meeting, 131 00:06:05,563 --> 00:06:07,369 and she is the perfect client. 132 00:06:07,494 --> 00:06:10,237 Realistic about the price... She wants to sell fast, 133 00:06:10,362 --> 00:06:12,681 and she's a real character. You gotta meet her. 134 00:06:18,304 --> 00:06:21,089 But she's moving soon, so what's the point? 135 00:06:25,668 --> 00:06:26,970 You worked late. 136 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,910 Yes. Brutal day. I just wanna sit. 137 00:06:29,035 --> 00:06:31,488 Perfect, Lily's asleep. Barry's meeting us in the hot tub. 138 00:06:31,613 --> 00:06:33,672 If you're stressed, he could give you a treatment. 139 00:06:33,797 --> 00:06:36,594 That's all right. I have an appointment with Dr. Bigfoot tomorrow. 140 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,192 Here comes the judge. 141 00:06:38,317 --> 00:06:40,789 Reiki is a bunch of nonsense, cam. That guy is a nut. 142 00:06:40,914 --> 00:06:42,999 You do this every time. We meet a new friend, 143 00:06:43,124 --> 00:06:45,096 they say one thing, and you write 'em off. 144 00:06:45,265 --> 00:06:47,266 - I do not! - Really? What about "But Yet Rachel"? 145 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,050 "I'd love to go, but yet, I don't feel like parking." 146 00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:52,193 - It's either "but" or "yet". - You're lucky 147 00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:54,364 no one's kicked your butt yet. What about Thomas? 148 00:06:54,532 --> 00:06:57,035 You wrote him off because he serves the salad after the meal, 149 00:06:57,341 --> 00:06:59,290 which, by the way, is very common in Europe. 150 00:06:59,664 --> 00:07:02,171 What part of europe is he from? Pretentious-stan? 151 00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:03,939 Keep judging. Don't let anyone in. 152 00:07:04,064 --> 00:07:06,308 - I could care less. - You mean you couldn't care less, 153 00:07:06,433 --> 00:07:08,350 because that means you care a little bit. 154 00:07:08,519 --> 00:07:10,778 I'm going to the hot tub. If I stay in here one more minute, 155 00:07:10,903 --> 00:07:13,014 - my head is literally gonna explode. - I hope not, 156 00:07:13,139 --> 00:07:16,017 - because if you mean "literally"... - I don't feel safe in my own home! 157 00:07:18,766 --> 00:07:20,832 - Phil, honey, I need your help. - With what? 158 00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:23,756 What is the one thing a speeder can't outrun? 159 00:07:24,558 --> 00:07:26,093 Bullets. A laser. 160 00:07:26,416 --> 00:07:28,851 - I know, a falcon! Dad, jump in. - Not a good time. 161 00:07:28,976 --> 00:07:30,644 - A laser falcon! - That's awesome. 162 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,101 Shame. 163 00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:37,007 "Slow down your neighbors!"? 164 00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,222 "Slow down", talking to the speeder, 165 00:07:41,476 --> 00:07:43,755 who's talking to the speeder? Your neighbors. 166 00:07:43,923 --> 00:07:45,111 It doesn't say that. 167 00:07:45,236 --> 00:07:47,374 Yeah, it just says "Slow down your neighbors!" 168 00:07:48,473 --> 00:07:51,352 I know what you were going for, but now all I see is "Slow down your neighbors!" 169 00:07:51,521 --> 00:07:53,404 You're all wrong, this is incredibly clear. 170 00:07:53,529 --> 00:07:56,278 It's really important. We need to put these signs all over the neighborhood. 171 00:07:56,714 --> 00:07:58,236 It seems kind of cowardly. 172 00:07:58,361 --> 00:08:00,495 Why don't you make an anonymous call to the police? 173 00:08:00,665 --> 00:08:03,085 I called the police, and they were totally unhelpful. 174 00:08:03,253 --> 00:08:04,964 Surprise. Surprise. 175 00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:07,218 - Come on. Are you with me or not? - Of course. 176 00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:10,224 Who else would I be with? This guy? I have no connection to this guy. 177 00:08:10,392 --> 00:08:11,434 Good! 178 00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:14,421 Fine. 179 00:08:14,546 --> 00:08:17,520 Before you judge me, I have come in second to Gil Thorpe 180 00:08:17,645 --> 00:08:20,476 for salesman of the quarter seven quarters in a row. 181 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,846 Seven. 182 00:08:22,762 --> 00:08:24,314 Nobody remembers second best. 183 00:08:24,439 --> 00:08:27,590 Yeah, everybody loves Michael Jordan, but nobody thinks of Scottie Pippen. 184 00:08:28,495 --> 00:08:29,980 The only reason I remember him 185 00:08:30,105 --> 00:08:32,476 is because he's named after my favorite musical. 186 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,992 I just wanna let you guys know you got a sprinkler head leaking out there. 187 00:08:40,161 --> 00:08:43,296 - Thanks. I'll let the gardener know. - All right. Or maybe I could just 188 00:08:43,421 --> 00:08:45,544 wave my hands over it and heal it that way. 189 00:08:47,341 --> 00:08:48,342 I'm joking. 190 00:08:50,837 --> 00:08:51,932 That was a good one. 191 00:08:52,101 --> 00:08:54,321 Don't worry. As soon as I started talking about reiki, 192 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,358 I could tell you thought I was a little nutty. 193 00:08:57,378 --> 00:08:59,781 - Was I that obvious? - You roll your eyes a lot. 194 00:09:01,329 --> 00:09:02,370 No, it's true. 195 00:09:02,538 --> 00:09:03,539 It's true, no. 196 00:09:03,664 --> 00:09:06,213 I once saw a picture of myself at a friend's poetry slam, 197 00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:09,300 and all you could see were the whites of my eyes. 198 00:09:09,469 --> 00:09:11,931 Yeah, I looked like Little Orphan Annie. 199 00:09:12,099 --> 00:09:13,057 The cartoon. 200 00:09:13,498 --> 00:09:17,252 - I'm sorry if I offended you. - No. Don't apologize. Look, I... 201 00:09:17,377 --> 00:09:20,238 Only thing that offends me is a man who doesn't live in his own truth. 202 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,622 I appreciate how hard you're trying not to roll your eyes. 203 00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:26,794 - Cause I'm about to pass out! - I see it. 204 00:09:29,012 --> 00:09:30,013 I'm ready! 205 00:09:33,684 --> 00:09:34,995 What the hell's he wearing? 206 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,897 Protection pads. He needs more? 207 00:09:37,022 --> 00:09:39,208 We're riding bikes. We're not training police dogs. 208 00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:40,905 All right, kid. Come on. Get on. 209 00:09:42,504 --> 00:09:43,505 On board. 210 00:09:44,715 --> 00:09:46,624 Attaboy. All right, we ready? 211 00:09:47,068 --> 00:09:48,069 Ride! 212 00:09:48,716 --> 00:09:50,918 - Be careful, papi. - Ignore her. 213 00:09:51,043 --> 00:09:53,824 I've seen the kid fall down on that moving sidewalk at the airport, 214 00:09:53,949 --> 00:09:55,476 so I didn't have high hopes. 215 00:09:58,374 --> 00:10:00,652 But what do you know? The kid was a natural. 216 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:03,795 - It's so easy! - Bravo, Manny! 217 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,522 - I told you! - Be careful with the bump! 218 00:10:07,376 --> 00:10:10,018 Wait a minute. Who's that guy? Jay, he's gonna grab him! 219 00:10:10,471 --> 00:10:12,661 No one's grabbing anyone. It's a neighbor. 220 00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:15,641 Gloria, on the other hand, was a natural disaster. 221 00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:18,224 There are three things you want to do before you ride. 222 00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:21,255 Check your shoelaces, adjust your mirror, 223 00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:22,543 and test your bell. 224 00:10:22,668 --> 00:10:23,979 Shoelaces tied... 225 00:10:24,568 --> 00:10:26,120 The mirror is good... 226 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,394 the bell is ringing. Okay, now what? 227 00:10:29,519 --> 00:10:30,520 Ride. 228 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,883 Don't push me! I don't want to get hurt! 229 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,571 Trust me. I'm not gonna hurt you. 230 00:10:34,697 --> 00:10:37,203 You're a work of art. If you get scratch the value goes down. 231 00:10:37,328 --> 00:10:39,014 I'm making a joke to lighten the mood. 232 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,275 - It's not working! - Let's just do this. 233 00:10:43,456 --> 00:10:44,457 Slowly. 234 00:10:45,487 --> 00:10:46,588 Jay, slowly. 235 00:10:47,141 --> 00:10:50,260 Relax. You're not gonna fall. I got you. Put your feet on the pedals. 236 00:10:50,537 --> 00:10:52,479 Now look where you're going... 237 00:10:52,604 --> 00:10:55,157 - No, I'm falling... - Look straight ahead. Go, go, go. 238 00:10:55,282 --> 00:10:56,283 Pedal! 239 00:10:56,674 --> 00:10:58,429 What are you ringing the bell for? 240 00:10:58,554 --> 00:11:00,256 Why you let me go, Jay? 241 00:11:00,542 --> 00:11:02,964 Pedal! Look where you're going! 242 00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,434 I'm gonna kill you, Jay! 243 00:11:07,207 --> 00:11:08,382 Good day's work. 244 00:11:08,507 --> 00:11:10,542 What do you say we hit the jewelry store? 245 00:11:21,176 --> 00:11:22,537 What are you doing? 246 00:11:22,662 --> 00:11:23,864 Taking this... 247 00:11:23,989 --> 00:11:26,885 sign down! I recognized your license plate. 248 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:30,290 - This is ridiculous! - They're all over the neighborhood. 249 00:11:30,459 --> 00:11:32,837 What kind of lunatic does something like this? 250 00:11:33,006 --> 00:11:35,802 - Who knows? - It's probably some bored housewife 251 00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:38,029 who hates her husband and hates her life, 252 00:11:38,154 --> 00:11:40,038 so she takes it out on the rest of us! 253 00:11:40,163 --> 00:11:43,277 Or things are so good at home, she's out looking for problems. 254 00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:46,030 Trust me. This woman needs to get laid. 255 00:11:46,199 --> 00:11:47,742 I don't think that's the issue. 256 00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,038 Here. Stick this up. 257 00:11:50,351 --> 00:11:52,203 Send her a message from me. 258 00:11:59,768 --> 00:12:01,978 - What happened to my sign? - I don't know! 259 00:12:02,284 --> 00:12:03,606 I put it up, I went away, 260 00:12:04,198 --> 00:12:06,597 I came back, it was in pieces! 261 00:12:07,282 --> 00:12:08,951 - This is so crazy. - Crazy! 262 00:12:10,707 --> 00:12:13,460 This whole thing is crazy. Maybe we should back off a little bit. 263 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:14,942 You know what, Phil? 264 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,009 No. I am not gonna back off. 265 00:12:17,853 --> 00:12:20,599 I am doing this for the safety of our neighborhood. 266 00:12:32,093 --> 00:12:33,709 Well, what's going on here? 267 00:12:34,697 --> 00:12:36,631 Just getting rid of some negative energy. 268 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,885 Well, in that case, we'll be back tuesday. 269 00:12:40,304 --> 00:12:41,906 You're all set, Mitch. 270 00:12:44,253 --> 00:12:45,755 Man, that was great. 271 00:12:46,924 --> 00:12:47,946 Namaste, man. 272 00:12:48,114 --> 00:12:49,716 - Namaste. - Namaste. 273 00:12:49,841 --> 00:12:51,536 I'm gonna get out of your hair. 274 00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:55,226 I'm gonna grab a quick tub and see if I can rustle up some food. 275 00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:58,005 Don't rustle. We're making dinner tonight. You're coming. 276 00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,477 Yeah, come down. 277 00:13:00,743 --> 00:13:02,892 Thank you, Mitch. See? It's working already. 278 00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,046 Namaste. 279 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,248 - What? - You know what I'm looking for. 280 00:13:12,373 --> 00:13:14,369 - He's a very nice guy. - That's not it. 281 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,581 - I'm sorry I made a snap judgment. - Still not it. 282 00:13:16,707 --> 00:13:18,909 - You were right. - There she is. 283 00:13:24,786 --> 00:13:27,258 Mrs. Ko. I'm Cameron. Mitchell's the other one. 284 00:13:27,383 --> 00:13:28,693 What are you doing here? 285 00:13:28,863 --> 00:13:30,906 I just finished showing the apartment upstairs. 286 00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:32,702 - What about Barry? - Who's Barry? 287 00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:35,247 - The new tenant. - Nobody living up there. It's empty. 288 00:13:35,718 --> 00:13:37,837 - But... - You see anybody up there, you call me. 289 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:41,552 My husband. I'm coming! 290 00:13:42,396 --> 00:13:45,349 You two so lucky they don't let you get married. 291 00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:03,940 The problem wasn't me. 292 00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:05,942 It was Jay. He's a very bad teacher. 293 00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:08,419 Very bossy. I don't respond to that. 294 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:11,036 I need somebody gentle, nurturing, 295 00:14:11,161 --> 00:14:12,312 like a woman. 296 00:14:15,384 --> 00:14:17,856 - What's up? - Can you teach me how to ride a bike? 297 00:14:17,981 --> 00:14:20,366 You can't ride a bike? I love that about you. 298 00:14:20,491 --> 00:14:22,689 I was beginning to think you didn't have any flaws. 299 00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:25,472 I wish I could, but I'm late for an open house. 300 00:14:26,415 --> 00:14:27,561 I could teach you. 301 00:14:27,849 --> 00:14:29,356 - Really? - Sure. 302 00:14:29,525 --> 00:14:32,697 I'm a great bike rider. I've taught a bunch of my friends. 303 00:14:33,755 --> 00:14:35,599 I never taught anyone anything. 304 00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:38,527 But my playdate canceled, so I was wide open. 305 00:14:51,569 --> 00:14:53,111 What are you doing in there? 306 00:14:53,281 --> 00:14:55,450 I'm just tidying up a little bit. What's up? 307 00:14:55,619 --> 00:14:58,039 Are you living in our daughter's princess castle? 308 00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,196 What? No, don't be ridiculous. 309 00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:01,822 I'm living in here, man. 310 00:15:01,947 --> 00:15:03,091 I'm sleeping in there. 311 00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:05,302 You said you had just moved in upstairs. 312 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,324 No, I said I just moved in. 313 00:15:07,451 --> 00:15:09,103 I'm sorry. I thought it was implied... 314 00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:10,924 That you're living in a dollhouse? 315 00:15:11,049 --> 00:15:12,777 Let's not do this outside. All right? 316 00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,823 Wanna go inside and talk like adults? 317 00:15:14,991 --> 00:15:16,757 - Yes. Great. - Let's do that. 318 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,469 It's okay. I just cleaned up. 319 00:15:23,075 --> 00:15:24,126 Come on in. 320 00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:28,328 You are living in here! 321 00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:30,341 Inside voices. 322 00:15:37,565 --> 00:15:38,661 Are you homeless? 323 00:15:39,587 --> 00:15:40,588 Homeless? 324 00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:42,795 Are you insane? Look at this place. 325 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,081 I mean... 326 00:15:45,122 --> 00:15:48,121 I can't even believe I'm having to say this, but you can't... 327 00:15:48,246 --> 00:15:49,748 You can't stay here. 328 00:15:50,938 --> 00:15:53,552 This is about the body work I did with Mitchell, isn't it? 329 00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,907 'cause I would understand if that was bothering you. 330 00:15:56,032 --> 00:15:59,397 You arevliving in a little girl's toy, and you have to move out. 331 00:15:59,522 --> 00:16:01,268 This is gonna make dinner really awkward. 332 00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:03,962 There's no dinner! Dinner is off! Okay? Now, come on. Let's go. 333 00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,718 Don't touch me. I don't like to be touched. 334 00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:08,842 You're a massage therapist. 335 00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,179 I'm a reiki master. Very little touching. 336 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,772 Okay, Barry. Listen to me. 337 00:16:13,810 --> 00:16:15,068 You're a very nice man. 338 00:16:15,538 --> 00:16:17,656 - Mitchell and I like you very much. - Thank you. 339 00:16:17,825 --> 00:16:20,996 But I'm... You're welcome. I'm going to take your hand... 340 00:16:21,165 --> 00:16:22,165 Yes, I am. 341 00:16:23,571 --> 00:16:25,673 Don't give me the coyote look. I'm not a canine. 342 00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:28,052 We're gonna walk out of here together. 343 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,881 - Nobody's gonna hurt you. - This is not gonna end very well. 344 00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:32,407 Give me your hand. 345 00:16:42,337 --> 00:16:44,167 - Call 911! - What's happening? 346 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,424 Barry's a nut! He's been living in Lily's castle! 347 00:16:49,577 --> 00:16:52,393 - I thought he was living upstairs! - Just call the police! 348 00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:54,794 Do you want me to stop and give you the whole story? 349 00:16:54,919 --> 00:16:56,400 I never said upstairs. 350 00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:58,756 Call 911! 351 00:16:58,881 --> 00:17:00,826 - Stop pinching! - And just for the record, 352 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,421 I was right! 353 00:17:03,143 --> 00:17:05,489 I still don't think you should judge people! 354 00:17:05,614 --> 00:17:06,755 I said get off me! 355 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,535 What scares you about riding a bike? 356 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:12,665 Losing control and falling down. 357 00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:14,019 Great. What else? 358 00:17:14,363 --> 00:17:15,689 Somebody grabbing me? 359 00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:17,777 That's weird. What else? 360 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,463 Looking foolish. 361 00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:22,577 See, all these bad thoughts are holding you back. 362 00:17:23,411 --> 00:17:25,500 So how do we get rid of these bad thoughts? 363 00:17:26,526 --> 00:17:28,786 - We shoot 'em out! - No, don't you dare! 364 00:17:28,911 --> 00:17:30,593 - Ride! - Don't you dare! 365 00:17:30,763 --> 00:17:32,193 Ride! Luke, stop it! 366 00:17:32,954 --> 00:17:34,304 I said ride! 367 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,157 - Ride! - I'm gonna tell your mother! 368 00:17:36,282 --> 00:17:39,402 - What? That you're riding a bike? - No, that you're... 369 00:17:39,527 --> 00:17:41,730 Yes! I'm driving the bike! 370 00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:45,749 It was the greatest feeling in the world. 371 00:17:46,075 --> 00:17:49,172 Luke was right. There was nothing to be afraid of. 372 00:17:59,472 --> 00:18:01,964 - Get off the bike! - Don't grab me! 373 00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,413 Go, go, go, go, go! 374 00:18:04,538 --> 00:18:06,008 Laces, mirror... 375 00:18:06,539 --> 00:18:08,753 Bell. Slow down, jerk! 376 00:18:13,682 --> 00:18:16,658 Thanks so much for coming. It was great to meet you both. 377 00:18:16,784 --> 00:18:18,085 Have a good one! 378 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,081 See you later. 379 00:18:22,283 --> 00:18:24,625 - How's it going? - Great. Lots of people. 380 00:18:24,751 --> 00:18:27,396 - I was thinking about those signs. - "Slow down your neighbors!" 381 00:18:27,521 --> 00:18:30,885 I think they meant "slow down", talking to you. Who's talking? "Your neighbors." 382 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,011 Anyway... 383 00:18:32,136 --> 00:18:35,180 You think it's possible you do drive a little too fast in a neighborhood 384 00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:37,143 with children present, maybe, or... 385 00:18:37,312 --> 00:18:39,637 I appreciate your concern, but I am not the problem. 386 00:18:39,763 --> 00:18:42,175 It's the crazy sign lady who can't put a sentence together. 387 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:43,405 That's your problem. 388 00:18:59,149 --> 00:19:00,150 Honey? 389 00:19:02,773 --> 00:19:05,909 I had to get some water. I was chasing that crazy maniac. 390 00:19:06,328 --> 00:19:09,249 - I got so close. - And you just gave up? 391 00:19:09,417 --> 00:19:11,044 That's not the Claire that I know. 392 00:19:11,213 --> 00:19:13,125 - Get back out there! - Really? 393 00:19:13,927 --> 00:19:16,179 I left my phone at the drugstore. I'll be right back. 394 00:19:16,499 --> 00:19:17,849 Hi. I'm Claire Dunphy. 395 00:19:18,019 --> 00:19:19,935 - I'm Phil's wife. - Let's not talk her ear off. 396 00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:22,029 - She's gotta go. - I'm Laura. Nice to meet you. 397 00:19:22,154 --> 00:19:23,987 - Beautiful house. - Thanks. 398 00:19:24,351 --> 00:19:27,076 - Are you going by Greenleaf? - Actually, yeah. 399 00:19:27,245 --> 00:19:29,957 I just overdid it on my bike, and I cannot get back on there. 400 00:19:30,126 --> 00:19:32,677 - No problem. I'll give you a ride. - That's a terrible idea. 401 00:19:32,802 --> 00:19:33,803 Why? 402 00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:36,219 I wish I were one of those people 403 00:19:36,388 --> 00:19:39,071 who thrives on the danger of leading a double life. 404 00:19:39,196 --> 00:19:42,349 You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana. 405 00:19:43,303 --> 00:19:45,673 That's a terrible... Idea, 406 00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:48,285 because your bike is here. 407 00:19:49,533 --> 00:19:52,459 - You're gonna leave it? That's rude! - Just pick it up whenever. 408 00:19:52,629 --> 00:19:55,717 Whenever? What's "whenever"? That's so open-ended. 409 00:19:55,886 --> 00:19:57,428 Stop it. Come on. Let's fly. 410 00:19:58,135 --> 00:19:59,536 I love her energy. 411 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:00,883 I'm coming! 412 00:20:05,690 --> 00:20:08,133 So, why do you want to move? 413 00:20:08,701 --> 00:20:10,621 I want a high-rise with a doorman. 414 00:20:12,386 --> 00:20:14,681 Besides, this neighborhood is getting a little crazy. 415 00:20:14,806 --> 00:20:17,762 - Tell me about it. - There's this one whack job... 416 00:20:17,887 --> 00:20:21,811 You know, don't say another word. I bet I know exactly who you're thinking of. 417 00:20:33,383 --> 00:20:34,712 Claire was furious. 418 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,621 She said I betrayed her on every level. 419 00:20:36,747 --> 00:20:38,990 So, I called the florist, 420 00:20:39,356 --> 00:20:43,341 and I have ordered one dozen mylar balloons. 421 00:20:44,691 --> 00:20:46,642 Good luck staying mad, honey. 422 00:20:48,108 --> 00:20:50,158 Come on, which civilization invented the alphabet? 423 00:20:50,657 --> 00:20:52,079 - I don't know. - Yes, you do, 424 00:20:52,248 --> 00:20:54,334 we've been over this a hundred times. 425 00:20:54,459 --> 00:20:56,762 Allow me, dad. I'm a great teacher. 426 00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,024 Who invented the alphabet? 427 00:20:59,247 --> 00:21:01,081 I... Don't... Know. 428 00:21:03,299 --> 00:21:04,751 Stop! What are you doing? 429 00:21:04,876 --> 00:21:06,608 - Say it! - Luke that's enough! 430 00:21:08,098 --> 00:21:10,616 I don't know... The Phoenicians! 431 00:21:11,636 --> 00:21:13,080 That's right. 432 00:21:13,546 --> 00:21:15,042 Teacher of the year. 433 00:21:17,826 --> 00:21:19,050 She's all yours, buddy.