1 00:00:05,732 --> 00:00:06,458 Mom... 2 00:00:06,626 --> 00:00:08,543 Listen to this card dad got for grandpa Jay. 3 00:00:08,711 --> 00:00:10,821 "Hip-hip-hip-hooray!" 4 00:00:11,318 --> 00:00:14,030 "Save the extra hip. You'll need it someday." 5 00:00:14,716 --> 00:00:15,675 'Cause he's old! 6 00:00:17,055 --> 00:00:18,415 You're not giving him that. 7 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,411 Even if he drinks his other gift first? 8 00:00:21,067 --> 00:00:21,848 Ladies... 9 00:00:22,016 --> 00:00:23,902 Do you remember exactly one year ago today 10 00:00:24,027 --> 00:00:26,018 when you did not have a gift for your grandfather 11 00:00:26,143 --> 00:00:27,576 and it killed him just a little, 12 00:00:27,701 --> 00:00:29,324 so I suggested you start interviewing 13 00:00:29,449 --> 00:00:31,566 all the members of the family for a video tribute? 14 00:00:31,734 --> 00:00:34,819 Well, check it and burn. We totally did that. 15 00:00:35,350 --> 00:00:36,155 Almost. 16 00:00:36,572 --> 00:00:38,212 We just need to finish the editing. 17 00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:40,700 And you should talk. You haven't even started on your gift yet. 18 00:00:41,865 --> 00:00:43,427 That's because I changed mine. 19 00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:45,455 I thought of a better idea yesterday. 20 00:00:45,623 --> 00:00:47,798 I think I came up with a better idea. 21 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,793 Okay. My dad has a picture 22 00:00:49,961 --> 00:00:51,601 of me and Mitchell when we were kids, 23 00:00:51,726 --> 00:00:53,421 standing in our old backyard. 24 00:00:53,589 --> 00:00:54,897 We'll re-create the picture. 25 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,192 I did the same last year for my parents for Christmas, 26 00:00:57,317 --> 00:00:59,010 and it went over like gangbusters. 27 00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:03,598 - Funny. - Do you remember? 28 00:01:03,723 --> 00:01:04,773 I do. 29 00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:06,439 I do. 30 00:01:06,894 --> 00:01:09,604 Come on, girls, TV off. It's your grandfather's birthday. 31 00:01:09,772 --> 00:01:12,096 We got to start taking this seriously. 32 00:01:12,663 --> 00:01:14,463 Permission to come aboard. 33 00:01:14,781 --> 00:01:17,274 Subtitles by Kevin, MiniBen314, Tyno 34 00:01:17,399 --> 00:01:19,489 www.seriessub.com www.sous-titres.eu 35 00:01:27,373 --> 00:01:29,128 My best birthday memory... 36 00:01:29,394 --> 00:01:31,193 I'm a teenager, and for some reason, 37 00:01:31,318 --> 00:01:33,301 I drag this boat out on the lake. 38 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,471 And for hours, I'm just lying there, fishing, 39 00:01:36,877 --> 00:01:38,482 alone with my thoughts. 40 00:01:38,607 --> 00:01:39,607 Fantastic. 41 00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:42,013 That's all I want this year. 42 00:01:42,388 --> 00:01:44,848 That's really going to be your day? You're going fishing? 43 00:01:45,016 --> 00:01:46,662 With time out for a gourmet lunch. 44 00:01:46,787 --> 00:01:49,061 Sausage of the month club really nailed it in may. 45 00:01:49,186 --> 00:01:52,468 But, honey, no offense. They almost lost me last month with that chorizo. 46 00:01:53,524 --> 00:01:54,525 Why "no offense"? 47 00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:57,027 It's a sausage. It's not on our flag. 48 00:02:00,790 --> 00:02:02,316 Lily, what are you doing here? 49 00:02:02,441 --> 00:02:03,678 Surprise! 50 00:02:03,803 --> 00:02:06,244 We were on our way to get Jay's cake and thought we'd pop by. 51 00:02:06,745 --> 00:02:08,839 Lily was driving me crazy all morning. 52 00:02:08,964 --> 00:02:10,165 I had to get rid of her. 53 00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:14,309 - She refuses to get dressed. - Did you try bribing her? 54 00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,506 Oh, no... Of course I did! 55 00:02:16,631 --> 00:02:19,276 - I cannot go back in there, Mitchell. - Why did we decide to have a kid? 56 00:02:19,401 --> 00:02:20,539 I don't know. 57 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:22,893 - I don't know! - Oh, come on! 58 00:02:23,554 --> 00:02:24,937 She loves you so much. 59 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,474 Just this morning, she was looking at a picture of you, 60 00:02:27,642 --> 00:02:29,351 and she was trying to say your name. 61 00:02:29,519 --> 00:02:30,435 Really? 62 00:02:32,146 --> 00:02:34,611 Ay, I would love to spend more time with her, 63 00:02:34,736 --> 00:02:37,943 but I have to go to the mall to get Jay's gift for his birthday. 64 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,326 I'm sorry, sweetie. 65 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,238 Gloria's busy. No, don't cry. 66 00:02:41,821 --> 00:02:42,971 We should go. 67 00:02:43,566 --> 00:02:46,379 - Maybe I can take her wi... - Okay. Bag's packed. Have fun. 68 00:02:46,504 --> 00:02:47,509 Bye, sweetie. 69 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,294 - Hey, Cam. - Oh, hey, Manny. 70 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,790 Mom, is Jay still here? 71 00:02:50,957 --> 00:02:53,004 - No, he just left. - Shoot. 72 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,467 Why? What's up, pal? 73 00:02:54,872 --> 00:02:57,837 I'm going over to a friend's house where I may have to use this thing. 74 00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,757 I only used it once, and that was to take a torte out of the oven. 75 00:03:00,925 --> 00:03:03,767 Okay, well, first, let's loosen this thing up. 76 00:03:06,305 --> 00:03:08,182 - So what's her name? - How'd you know? 77 00:03:08,349 --> 00:03:09,764 You're something you're not. 78 00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:11,616 Boys do that for girls... 79 00:03:11,741 --> 00:03:13,476 or really dreamy boys. 80 00:03:13,601 --> 00:03:16,065 Her name's Tara. We have great chats online. 81 00:03:16,232 --> 00:03:18,209 She's really smart and funny, 82 00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:19,826 but she's on the softball team. 83 00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:21,459 Well, nobody's perfect. 84 00:03:21,779 --> 00:03:23,978 Why don't we go outside and toss the ball around? 85 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:24,823 Okay. 86 00:03:25,951 --> 00:03:27,525 And I wouldn't worry too much. 87 00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:29,632 She'll like you even if sports aren't your thing. 88 00:03:29,757 --> 00:03:30,816 Aren't my thing? 89 00:03:30,941 --> 00:03:34,229 I have a tennis racket upstairs I only use as a bubble-bath frother. 90 00:03:35,857 --> 00:03:36,857 Wow. 91 00:03:37,374 --> 00:03:38,545 How do you put this on? 92 00:03:40,501 --> 00:03:42,090 - Excuse me, miss. - Sorry. 93 00:03:42,717 --> 00:03:43,925 You answered to "miss"! 94 00:03:44,777 --> 00:03:45,777 Hilarious. 95 00:03:46,762 --> 00:03:49,043 Glen Whipple, my college rival. 96 00:03:49,168 --> 00:03:50,489 Captain of the cheer squad. 97 00:03:50,614 --> 00:03:52,416 Winner of every robot battle. 98 00:03:52,541 --> 00:03:55,585 Every second I spent with the guy just made me feel worse about myself. 99 00:03:55,710 --> 00:03:59,107 The only thing I could compete with him in was close-up magic. 100 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:04,279 Well, it's great to see you. 101 00:04:04,447 --> 00:04:07,031 Great to see you, too. And I believe this is yours. 102 00:04:07,483 --> 00:04:09,138 What? When? 103 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,827 You headed over to the card shop? 104 00:04:10,995 --> 00:04:13,365 I was in there earlier. I got myself one of those musical cards. 105 00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,248 They're expensive, but I can swing it. 106 00:04:15,598 --> 00:04:17,483 Well, great to see you. 107 00:04:17,796 --> 00:04:19,836 By the way, don't leave without this quarter 108 00:04:20,311 --> 00:04:22,414 from behind your... Come on, Phil! 109 00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:24,340 Good luck, Dunphy. 110 00:04:24,508 --> 00:04:26,042 I'm getting new cross-trainers. 111 00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:28,558 I blow through them pretty fast with all this power-walking. 112 00:04:28,683 --> 00:04:29,960 Catch you later. 113 00:04:34,397 --> 00:04:35,397 Phil? 114 00:04:35,836 --> 00:04:36,944 - Hey! - Hey. 115 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,262 What are you doing here? 116 00:04:38,387 --> 00:04:40,971 - Shopping for tonight. - Oh, well, I'll walk with you. 117 00:04:41,096 --> 00:04:42,908 - Where were you heading? - The card store. 118 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,195 What a beautiful child! 119 00:04:45,363 --> 00:04:47,238 You and your wife must be so happy. 120 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,534 I didn't think anything of it... 121 00:04:51,702 --> 00:04:53,724 Until other people started making the same mistake. 122 00:04:53,849 --> 00:04:55,914 It reminded me of a college job I had parking cars. 123 00:04:56,082 --> 00:04:58,582 One day, I had to park an Aston Martin. 124 00:04:58,853 --> 00:05:01,888 I'll never forget the looks I got driving that baby down the block. 125 00:05:02,651 --> 00:05:04,298 I wasn't gonna dent this one. 126 00:05:06,049 --> 00:05:08,426 What would you think about swinging by the shoe store? 127 00:05:08,802 --> 00:05:10,052 Okay, let's go. 128 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,613 I still can't believe all the looks we got driving over here. 129 00:05:16,738 --> 00:05:18,673 And yet you wore the hat the whole time. 130 00:05:18,798 --> 00:05:21,797 We should park on the next block over. 'Cause this is all permit parking. 131 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,609 - We used to live here. It's fine. - Yeah, still. I... 132 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,737 I don't think anybody's home. 133 00:05:28,485 --> 00:05:30,085 Here. Hang on to this. 134 00:05:31,004 --> 00:05:32,938 - Where are you going? - The backyard. 135 00:05:33,063 --> 00:05:35,283 We'll take this picture quickly, and we'll get out of here. 136 00:05:35,408 --> 00:05:37,479 Let's just wait for them to come home. 137 00:05:38,912 --> 00:05:40,049 That's trespassing! 138 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,861 No, it's not. We used to live here. 139 00:05:41,986 --> 00:05:43,746 I don't think that does what you think. 140 00:05:43,871 --> 00:05:45,213 Of course you would baby out, 141 00:05:45,338 --> 00:05:47,415 because this is just like pool-hopping all over again. 142 00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:49,069 I don't see what was fun about that. 143 00:05:49,194 --> 00:05:50,927 It made grandma's pool less special. 144 00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:53,304 Why don't you try being a little less special? 145 00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:56,140 Is it far? 146 00:06:04,132 --> 00:06:04,883 Hello. 147 00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:06,699 Hi, it's Sandra from the dog groomer. 148 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,803 I'm trying to reach Gloria. Stella's ready. 149 00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:12,028 I must have her phone. She probably grabbed mine again. 150 00:06:12,153 --> 00:06:13,794 Listen, this is her husband. 151 00:06:13,919 --> 00:06:15,830 You have my number right there, probably. 152 00:06:15,955 --> 00:06:17,856 - Give that a call. - Oh, Okay, thanks. 153 00:06:25,774 --> 00:06:28,127 Yeah, it's me again. I'll be right there. 154 00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,812 I did blame her for no reason. 155 00:06:30,937 --> 00:06:32,778 You have a little bit of an attitude. 156 00:06:32,903 --> 00:06:34,888 You know who did your job in my day? 157 00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:36,370 A hose. 158 00:06:36,849 --> 00:06:38,300 Okay, a little to your left. 159 00:06:38,425 --> 00:06:40,219 Right there. That's it. Perfect. 160 00:06:41,011 --> 00:06:42,617 And now I must run. 161 00:06:43,708 --> 00:06:45,308 - Fast. - Here we go. 162 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,904 - It's weird being back here. - Everything looks exactly the same. 163 00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:50,406 Except for the fence. 164 00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:53,740 - Who are they trying to keep out? - I know. 165 00:06:54,342 --> 00:06:55,207 Oh, God. 166 00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:57,484 Oh my God. 167 00:06:57,609 --> 00:06:59,017 He might be friendly. 168 00:06:59,347 --> 00:07:00,371 He looks nice. 169 00:07:00,539 --> 00:07:01,456 Hi. 170 00:07:01,624 --> 00:07:02,624 Oh, God! 171 00:07:02,884 --> 00:07:04,571 Not nice. So not nice. 172 00:07:05,252 --> 00:07:06,334 Hurry, hurry! 173 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:09,777 Now what do we do? 174 00:07:09,902 --> 00:07:12,115 You could try telling him we used to live here. 175 00:07:17,055 --> 00:07:19,169 They're not coming home. We need to call someone. 176 00:07:19,294 --> 00:07:21,440 Use yours. Mine's down there getting rabies on it. 177 00:07:21,565 --> 00:07:23,210 - I left mine in your car. - What? 178 00:07:23,335 --> 00:07:25,458 I didn't wanna ruin the line of my pants. 179 00:07:26,835 --> 00:07:28,317 Look, somebody's coming. 180 00:07:28,483 --> 00:07:31,814 No. Okay, that is what happens when you park without a permit. 181 00:07:31,939 --> 00:07:34,448 Stop! That's ours! We're up here! 182 00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:36,286 Stop! 183 00:07:36,825 --> 00:07:37,891 He ignored me. 184 00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:40,329 He didn't stop for the screaming sailor in a tree? 185 00:07:41,992 --> 00:07:43,123 Give me your shoe. 186 00:07:43,248 --> 00:07:46,008 What, you think that wolf down there is gonna be afraid of a shoe? 187 00:07:46,337 --> 00:07:47,437 No, I don't. 188 00:07:49,062 --> 00:07:51,068 What are you doing with dad's wine? 189 00:07:51,193 --> 00:07:52,693 Getting comfortable. 190 00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,761 We could be here for a really long time. 191 00:07:57,093 --> 00:07:59,243 Where'd you learn how to do that? 192 00:07:59,525 --> 00:08:01,558 Where'd you get a sailor suit on short notice? 193 00:08:02,078 --> 00:08:03,178 Fair enough. 194 00:08:04,903 --> 00:08:05,938 It's Merlot. 195 00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:13,840 - How'd it go with Tara? - It's still going on. 196 00:08:13,965 --> 00:08:16,079 The catch part went fine... mostly. 197 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,866 I took a running dive into the dirt. 198 00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:19,743 Well, did you at least catch the ball? 199 00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:23,334 I was trying to throw the ball! I'm in her bathroom looking for band-aids. 200 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,749 I'm trying to get up the nerve to tell her how I feel. 201 00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:27,403 Well, just be honest. 202 00:08:27,528 --> 00:08:28,655 She intimidates me. 203 00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:31,005 Every time I open my mouth, I say something stupid. 204 00:08:31,171 --> 00:08:34,195 I called her bedroom "fantazing." That's not even a word! 205 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,872 Are you okay in there, Manny? 206 00:08:35,997 --> 00:08:38,447 Yeah! I'm just water-washing my hands! 207 00:08:39,857 --> 00:08:41,807 Help me! Tell me what to say. 208 00:08:41,973 --> 00:08:43,623 Okay, how about this... 209 00:08:43,969 --> 00:08:48,522 You are the prettiest, smartest, funniest girl in the sixth grade. 210 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,232 I know you're only 11, 211 00:08:50,693 --> 00:08:52,993 but I can't stop thinking about you. 212 00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:55,428 I've loved talking to you online. 213 00:08:55,553 --> 00:08:57,823 I think we should become boyfriend and girlfriend. 214 00:08:58,492 --> 00:09:00,909 No, it's not what you think. I'm talking to a little boy. 215 00:09:11,471 --> 00:09:14,021 She's not with me, Cam. I got her phone. 216 00:09:14,146 --> 00:09:15,596 Why are you crying? 217 00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:18,422 How do you get kicked out of a bakery? 218 00:09:18,547 --> 00:09:19,720 Well, that'll do it. 219 00:09:19,886 --> 00:09:22,907 I'm sorry to ask you to get your own birthday cake, but, 220 00:09:23,032 --> 00:09:25,163 I can't get ahold of anyone else. 221 00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:26,310 Can't do it. 222 00:09:26,476 --> 00:09:28,776 I'm on my way to the lake. Finally. 223 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,564 Get something at the grocery store. 224 00:09:30,731 --> 00:09:33,380 I am not getting you a grocery-store cake. 225 00:09:33,505 --> 00:09:35,268 Gloria asked me to handle this. 226 00:09:35,393 --> 00:09:38,489 She's gonna yell at me, Jay. She can be mean in Spanish! 227 00:09:38,655 --> 00:09:40,783 Okay, fine. Let's wrap this up, princess. 228 00:09:40,949 --> 00:09:42,201 Okay. Love you. Bye. 229 00:09:43,577 --> 00:09:44,866 What are you guys doing? 230 00:09:44,991 --> 00:09:46,981 Just editing our birthday tribute to grandpa. 231 00:09:47,106 --> 00:09:49,374 Some of the interviews I did didn't turn out so well. 232 00:09:49,541 --> 00:09:52,377 That's okay. We'll just use the best stuff from what we all got. 233 00:09:52,544 --> 00:09:54,206 Okay, Haley, talk about grandpa. 234 00:09:54,331 --> 00:09:57,599 Eww. I can't talk about grandpa dressed like this. 235 00:10:00,596 --> 00:10:03,064 I love my... 236 00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:06,308 That stupid dog next door! 237 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,025 Three, four, five. 238 00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:13,911 - What do you think... - One, Two... 239 00:10:14,036 --> 00:10:16,027 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 240 00:10:16,152 --> 00:10:20,364 You didn't see this, and we don't tell Cam, capisce? 241 00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:22,843 - It'll only take one minute. - We don't have a minute. 242 00:10:22,968 --> 00:10:25,308 - Who's Clive Bixby? - A friend of your mom's. 243 00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:26,453 Not now! 244 00:10:26,619 --> 00:10:29,240 - Uncle Cam, can you to talk about... - Jay. I know. No time. 245 00:10:29,365 --> 00:10:31,834 I got a little girl's birthday party to save. Skedaddlo, go! 246 00:10:32,607 --> 00:10:36,029 Not now, honey. Your father's out back. Why don't you call him? 247 00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:39,579 Your kids need you! 248 00:10:39,704 --> 00:10:41,208 Grandpa is really cool. 249 00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:43,113 He once let me drink some of his beer. 250 00:10:43,238 --> 00:10:45,347 - For the love of... - Root beer! 251 00:10:46,616 --> 00:10:48,142 I could've sworn we had more! 252 00:10:48,308 --> 00:10:49,726 Well, let me work my magic. 253 00:10:49,893 --> 00:10:51,931 It's all about creative editing. 254 00:10:52,056 --> 00:10:54,606 Just give me two hours and another hour. 255 00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:58,773 Somebody get me some chocolate milk with extra salt. 256 00:10:59,989 --> 00:11:02,074 Do you remember the time you quit cub scouts 257 00:11:02,199 --> 00:11:04,158 and dad got mad at you so you ran away up here? 258 00:11:04,324 --> 00:11:07,716 Right. And you brought me my dinner up here and my comic books. 259 00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:10,781 Mom and dad would have been a lot more scared if you hadn't been running 260 00:11:10,906 --> 00:11:14,036 - into the house to use the bathroom. - I can't go outside. 261 00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:16,670 Great, now I'm thinking about it. 262 00:11:17,514 --> 00:11:18,547 It's ironic. 263 00:11:18,713 --> 00:11:22,713 We always wanted a dog in this backyard, and we could never have one. 264 00:11:22,838 --> 00:11:24,011 Manny got one. 265 00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:25,929 Manny gets everything. 266 00:11:27,471 --> 00:11:29,933 You think Manny's gonna get a third of... 267 00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:32,936 - A third of what? - You know. 268 00:11:35,997 --> 00:11:38,901 - I guess. Sure. That seems fair, right? - Does it? 269 00:11:39,349 --> 00:11:42,529 - Does it? 'Cause I just feel... - We've probably had enough of this. 270 00:11:45,523 --> 00:11:46,524 Wait. 271 00:11:46,649 --> 00:11:49,084 Do you think if we could get the dog to chase this doll, 272 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,788 then we could run down and grab the phone really quick? 273 00:11:51,955 --> 00:11:55,751 We could do that! We just are gonna have to throw it really, really far. 274 00:11:58,408 --> 00:11:59,508 Right. So... 275 00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:01,840 That way. 276 00:12:02,165 --> 00:12:04,509 Gloria, I'd still love to swing by that shoe store. 277 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,640 If you're in a hurry, go by yourself. 278 00:12:08,555 --> 00:12:10,015 No. I'll wait. Whipple! 279 00:12:15,306 --> 00:12:16,482 What do you think? 280 00:12:16,607 --> 00:12:18,908 It's perfect. Let's see the other side. 281 00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:21,085 - Bless you. - Thank you. 282 00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:24,404 It's a little too tight, no? What do you think of the tush? 283 00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:27,656 It's great. Why don't you keep it right there for a second. Let's make sure. 284 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,534 Yeah, but it's a little see-through. 285 00:12:31,453 --> 00:12:33,922 Maybe if I put this underneath, then it won't, like, show. 286 00:12:34,047 --> 00:12:35,582 No, it looks good that way. 287 00:12:35,749 --> 00:12:37,751 - I go try something else better. - No, wait! 288 00:12:37,918 --> 00:12:38,918 Wait! 289 00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:44,908 Don't think about it. Just get it. 290 00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:47,023 Hilarious. I'm actually here with someone. 291 00:12:47,148 --> 00:12:49,096 And you finally did make something disappear. 292 00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:51,640 - She was here a second ago. - Of course she was. 293 00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:55,310 Like the date you had on the final-night dance of junior tumbling congress. 294 00:12:55,477 --> 00:12:57,688 - There was traffic. - Sure. 295 00:12:57,854 --> 00:13:01,422 I think I found something that is going to make my husband 296 00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:02,597 very happy. 297 00:13:03,590 --> 00:13:04,820 What do you think? 298 00:13:05,337 --> 00:13:06,787 Very happy, Gloria. 299 00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:08,705 Very happy. 300 00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:15,741 Okay, but don't go far away because I might need help with the zipper. 301 00:13:15,866 --> 00:13:18,208 Sounds good... with the zipper. 302 00:13:20,044 --> 00:13:21,837 I mean, wow. That's your wife? 303 00:13:22,225 --> 00:13:23,675 It would appear so. 304 00:13:24,952 --> 00:13:26,602 Great to see you, Glen. 305 00:13:29,278 --> 00:13:31,972 - I gotta say, I'm a little surprised. - Surprised... 306 00:13:33,035 --> 00:13:34,266 Or mystified? 307 00:13:34,432 --> 00:13:37,267 Damn it. It went down your shirt. You can... keep it. 308 00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:38,492 I'll see ya. 309 00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:41,273 I just always assumed you would marry Claire Pritchett. 310 00:13:41,439 --> 00:13:42,607 You remember Claire? 311 00:13:42,774 --> 00:13:44,673 Are you kidding? She was gorgeous. 312 00:13:44,798 --> 00:13:46,778 God, I was so jealous of you back then. 313 00:13:46,945 --> 00:13:48,155 You were jealous of me? 314 00:13:48,321 --> 00:13:50,324 Oh, man. Claire Pritchett 315 00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:53,952 with the blond hair and those brown eyes, great smile. 316 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:57,289 - I can picture her smiling right now. - I can't. 317 00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,625 I wonder who landed her. Lucky son of a bitch. 318 00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:04,810 Phil, I need you! 319 00:14:04,935 --> 00:14:06,173 What now? 320 00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:10,301 I'm sorry. I'll be there in a second. 321 00:14:12,012 --> 00:14:13,012 How? 322 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,407 What the hell were you thinking? 323 00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,293 I'll answer that for you. You weren't thinking. 324 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,725 You think that's funny, Popeye? 325 00:14:25,174 --> 00:14:26,421 I should be fishing, 326 00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:30,215 but I'm hauling my ass across town trying to save you from a little dog. 327 00:14:30,728 --> 00:14:32,652 At least we got to have a dog for a few minutes. 328 00:14:32,777 --> 00:14:33,781 There we go. 329 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:35,836 You could show a little gratitude. 330 00:14:35,961 --> 00:14:37,461 These pants are new. 331 00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:39,915 Climbing over that fence, I might have wrecked 'em. 332 00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,210 That's mature. 333 00:14:45,524 --> 00:14:47,424 - I'm sorry. - We're sorry. 334 00:14:47,549 --> 00:14:49,127 I'm sorry you said "rectum." 335 00:14:51,788 --> 00:14:52,933 I'm sorry, dad. 336 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,624 We're so glad that you came and got us. 337 00:14:55,749 --> 00:14:58,822 It was very smart the way that you distracted the dog. 338 00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:01,424 12 times a year, I get sausages. That's it. 339 00:15:01,912 --> 00:15:03,688 What the hell am I gonna to do till June? 340 00:15:05,484 --> 00:15:06,775 Let's see it. 341 00:15:08,235 --> 00:15:11,279 - It's beautiful. - We just need some candles. 342 00:15:11,809 --> 00:15:13,586 I must have in one of the drawers. 343 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,769 Froot loop necklace... 344 00:15:17,894 --> 00:15:19,451 baby Jesus... 345 00:15:20,107 --> 00:15:22,129 keys... I was looking for these keys. 346 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,584 Baby Jesus... BB gun... 347 00:15:24,751 --> 00:15:27,254 More baby Jesus... Another baby... 348 00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:30,185 Jesus, Stella! Don't do that! 349 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,052 No, Jay, don't come in here! You cannot see the cake! 350 00:15:34,219 --> 00:15:36,466 - It's the bad luck! - I already saw the cake. 351 00:15:36,591 --> 00:15:38,765 I bought it while I was busy not fishing. 352 00:15:38,932 --> 00:15:40,726 No. Go out to the bar. Go! 353 00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:43,854 You never used to talk to me like that before we got that damn dog. 354 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,036 I almost called you. How'd it go with Tara? 355 00:15:48,161 --> 00:15:49,317 Okay, I guess. 356 00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:52,195 I used every line you gave me, and she totally ate it up. 357 00:15:52,362 --> 00:15:53,864 Well, then, why just okay? 358 00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:56,850 She wants to go on a date now. To the batting cage. 359 00:15:58,493 --> 00:15:59,870 Not so good with a bat? 360 00:16:00,036 --> 00:16:02,766 I am, as long as I'm using it to roll out dough. 361 00:16:04,356 --> 00:16:06,453 I'll bet you just need a little practice. 362 00:16:06,877 --> 00:16:08,500 You know, when I was your age, 363 00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:10,818 I couldn't hit a balloon with a bat. 364 00:16:11,185 --> 00:16:14,022 Then my father took me out to the field, and a couple hours later, 365 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,380 I was knocking the hide off that ball. 366 00:16:16,728 --> 00:16:19,520 It's one of the best days we ever had together. 367 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,135 - Really? - Yeah. 368 00:16:21,587 --> 00:16:23,727 I just bet you need some time in a batting cage. 369 00:16:24,189 --> 00:16:26,331 What are you doing this weekend? That'd be fun, huh? 370 00:16:26,456 --> 00:16:28,346 That's a great idea! I'll ask Jay. 371 00:16:28,471 --> 00:16:30,221 He loves stuff like this. 372 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:32,986 That'll be great for you guys. 373 00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:35,639 And thanks for your help today, Cam. 374 00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:37,497 You got it. 375 00:16:43,608 --> 00:16:45,832 I don't think Grandpa's having the best time. 376 00:16:45,999 --> 00:16:48,906 - He keeps going and getting drinks. - Not every time. 377 00:16:49,031 --> 00:16:51,755 One time he went in to check on the women's basketball score. 378 00:16:51,921 --> 00:16:54,359 The Sparks are up by 8, if anybody cares. 379 00:16:56,591 --> 00:16:59,253 Dad, we all owe you an apology. 380 00:16:59,606 --> 00:17:02,915 We were so worried about giving you a great night that we ruined your day, 381 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,185 and I'm really sorry we didn't let you go fishing. 382 00:17:05,351 --> 00:17:06,919 - Sorry, dad. - Sorry, Jay. 383 00:17:07,870 --> 00:17:10,354 You know what? I'm acting like a jerk. 384 00:17:10,785 --> 00:17:11,816 What am I, 12? 385 00:17:13,401 --> 00:17:15,833 So I didn't get to go fishing. What, am I gonna pout about it? 386 00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:18,889 I still have my family, and you guys made such a big fuss. 387 00:17:19,014 --> 00:17:20,200 I love you all. 388 00:17:21,826 --> 00:17:23,551 So let's go get some cake and presents. 389 00:17:24,496 --> 00:17:26,331 Cake and presents! Come on, everybody! 390 00:17:28,012 --> 00:17:29,969 Have I told you how lucky I am to have you? 391 00:17:30,094 --> 00:17:31,127 Gloria, excuse me. 392 00:17:31,294 --> 00:17:32,420 Because I am. 393 00:17:34,006 --> 00:17:35,056 No singing. 394 00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:38,505 - What the hell happened to the cake? - Nothing, it's beautiful. 395 00:17:39,299 --> 00:17:40,593 Let's open the presents. 396 00:17:41,785 --> 00:17:43,473 - Who's first? - Mine first. 397 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,435 Claire and I didn't quite finish ours, but we will be getting that to you. 398 00:17:47,602 --> 00:17:49,439 - Fine. - And our gift is... 399 00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:51,314 a fuller version of that and a card. 400 00:17:51,481 --> 00:17:54,361 - Wonderful. - And, of course, the cake is mine. 401 00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:55,487 Fantastic. 402 00:17:55,612 --> 00:17:58,358 And here we have a phone... 403 00:17:58,483 --> 00:17:59,935 in the shape of a mouth. 404 00:18:00,573 --> 00:18:02,257 You're welcome! Very sexy! 405 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,244 Don't tell me. Let me work this out. 406 00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:08,182 I mentioned I was thinking of taking up the saxophone, and you give me this. 407 00:18:08,872 --> 00:18:11,126 I got it! Is this a sexy phone? 408 00:18:11,292 --> 00:18:13,067 Happy birthday! 409 00:18:14,339 --> 00:18:15,689 What else we got? 410 00:18:16,952 --> 00:18:17,799 Nothing. 411 00:18:18,613 --> 00:18:22,098 Maybe not a perfect showing on behalf of the adults in the family, 412 00:18:22,223 --> 00:18:24,130 but the kids still have their big gift. 413 00:18:24,255 --> 00:18:27,128 - And it took us a year to make. - It's in the DVD player. 414 00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:28,401 Come watch it. 415 00:18:28,856 --> 00:18:30,670 I'm so excited! Let's go, Jay! 416 00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:33,281 - I bring your sexy phone. - Oh, don't forget that. 417 00:18:34,592 --> 00:18:36,540 And we all participated, 418 00:18:36,665 --> 00:18:38,693 so this is kind of from all of us. 419 00:18:38,998 --> 00:18:40,248 Hit the lights! 420 00:18:46,744 --> 00:18:47,441 Dad! 421 00:18:50,439 --> 00:18:51,207 Grandpa. 422 00:18:51,373 --> 00:18:52,656 - We... - Love! 423 00:18:52,781 --> 00:18:54,607 - Eww! - Capisce? 424 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,406 Who wants to see it again? 425 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,361 That's it? 426 00:19:04,653 --> 00:19:06,848 That's all you used? I wasn't even in it! 427 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,903 - That totally sucked. - You know what? Great party. 428 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,521 Thank you all for coming. 429 00:19:11,646 --> 00:19:14,262 And I hope you forgive me, I'm gonna go upstairs, 430 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,987 curl up with a Ludlum, and call it a day. 431 00:19:25,149 --> 00:19:26,349 Where are you? 432 00:19:27,930 --> 00:19:29,521 What are you doing out there? 433 00:19:34,086 --> 00:19:35,286 What the hell? 434 00:19:35,411 --> 00:19:37,479 I dragged it back here this afternoon. 435 00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:38,878 I know it's not the lake, 436 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:42,008 but we could pop open a few drinks and hang out on the water? 437 00:19:43,426 --> 00:19:44,666 Now, the old Jay... 438 00:19:44,791 --> 00:19:46,837 would have said, "I wanted to be on a lake, 439 00:19:46,962 --> 00:19:49,154 "with a fishing rod and sunshine, 440 00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:52,250 "not bobbing around at night in a swimming pool." 441 00:19:54,015 --> 00:19:55,361 I miss the old Jay. 442 00:19:56,357 --> 00:19:57,725 This is the life, huh? 443 00:19:57,999 --> 00:19:59,192 It ain't half bad. 444 00:20:00,652 --> 00:20:02,129 I want to get in the boat! 445 00:20:04,091 --> 00:20:05,726 - Me too! - I want to get in! 446 00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:11,893 - How was your day with Claire? - Actually, it was really great. 447 00:20:12,674 --> 00:20:14,046 I don't always think about it, 448 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,672 but I was really lucky to have her to grow up with. 449 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,379 I cannot imagine dealing with my crazy parents alone. 450 00:20:26,283 --> 00:20:27,721 I want to have another baby. 451 00:20:31,675 --> 00:20:33,831 What would you think about a boy this time? 452 00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:37,386 - Easy! - You're rocking the boat! 453 00:20:37,511 --> 00:20:39,760 I got Claire! I got Claire! 454 00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,561 All right, ahoy! 455 00:20:41,686 --> 00:20:44,904 So, if we all just enter into the starboard section... 456 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,479 Okay, everybody upstairs. 457 00:20:50,604 --> 00:20:52,768 Luke, I want you to get in a hot bath right away. 458 00:20:52,893 --> 00:20:54,189 I'm still shivering. 459 00:20:54,314 --> 00:20:57,010 - That's why you don't stand in a boat. - I was king of the world. 460 00:20:57,135 --> 00:20:58,805 Now you're dork of the night. 461 00:21:01,211 --> 00:21:03,840 - Have I told you how lucky I am? - You mean since dinner? 462 00:21:04,006 --> 00:21:05,306 I can't help it. 463 00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:07,260 Your beautiful eyes, your silky hair... 464 00:21:08,796 --> 00:21:10,298 Promise me you'll never... 465 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:11,806 change. 466 00:21:12,926 --> 00:21:14,309 That's kind of hot. 467 00:21:15,393 --> 00:21:17,045 Maybe I will go change. 468 00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:21,697 I still got it! 469 00:21:22,076 --> 00:21:23,226 Knock it off!