1 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,230 Ay, finally! 2 00:00:05,260 --> 00:00:08,780 look who's wearing her itsy bitsy bikini. 3 00:00:08,860 --> 00:00:10,230 He can comment because he's raggay. 4 00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:12,530 - He was talking about lily. - So was I. 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,320 Ay,cam, you make her look so pretty. 6 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,260 - Guess who's not coming for christmas. - And the spotlight shifts. 7 00:00:18,290 --> 00:00:20,060 - Mom. She cancelled. - What? 8 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,330 In a voice mail, no less. 9 00:00:21,370 --> 00:00:23,980 Unbelievable-and by that,I mean believable. 10 00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:25,370 Why isn't nana coming? 11 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,050 I don't know. Something about her new boyfriend whisking her away on a cruise. 12 00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:31,620 - I just got my gift. - What boyfriend? 13 00:00:31,650 --> 00:00:34,500 carl the cruise ship captain. 14 00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:36,080 It was in her holiday newsletter. 15 00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:37,860 Oh,I can't read that whole thing. No. 16 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:40,020 Yeah, after two pages about the bird she rescued... 17 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,080 And by the way,I don't think you can say you rescued something if it dies. 18 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,150 - It died? - She wrote a poem about it. 19 00:00:45,190 --> 00:00:49,010 A little too free with the free verse for my taste, but fine, we'll call it a poem. 20 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:52,020 I stopped reading after she talked about suing her book club. 21 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:55,500 Oh,I stopped reading after "dear friends, family and others... " 22 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:57,080 I'm sorry. Who are "others"? 23 00:00:57,110 --> 00:01:01,240 - me. - No, you're not... Uh, maybe you are. 24 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,830 Actually, she's kind of at her best at christmas. 25 00:01:03,870 --> 00:01:04,990 She makes a mean cookie. 26 00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:07,130 What other kind could she possibly make? 27 00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:11,580 Aw, it's so sad that you guys are not gonna be with your mom this christmas. 28 00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:13,330 - It's fine. - Yeah, it's more than fine. 29 00:01:13,370 --> 00:01:14,910 Let's just - Can we move off of mom? 30 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,090 Yes, please. 31 00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:17,470 Yeah, and the upside now, mitchell- 32 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:21,260 We can spend christmas in missouri where it actually feels like christmas. 33 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,230 Wait. Hang on a second. Just because mom isn't coming 34 00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:25,660 doesn't mean we're not gonna spend christmas together. 35 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:27,490 I mean, it's about family. 36 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,530 Who do you think we're seeing in missouri,claire, the oak ridge boys? 37 00:01:29,570 --> 00:01:32,160 Hold on. I thought we were all getting together christmas eve this year. 38 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,710 We're on a flight to mexico the 25th. 39 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,520 What do you mean, you're getting on a flight on the 25th? 40 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:37,930 You two needed time with your mom. 41 00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:41,290 - I've already served my time with your mom. - Oh, dad. 42 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,400 Well,uh,well, when are we gonna have christmas then? 43 00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,870 I heard kids are getting snatched in mexico. 44 00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:48,520 - What? - Kids get snatched here just as much. 45 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,040 It happens all the time. Don't be scared. 46 00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,210 Now when you say "all the time" - 47 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:55,190 okay, well what about next weekend? 'cause we don't leave till the 21st, right? 48 00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:57,530 Yeah, we leave tomorrow and we don't come back until the 21st. 49 00:01:57,570 --> 00:02:00,070 Hey, math club, could you get me some more lemonade? 50 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:02,630 Are we saying that this is the last time we're all gonna be together 51 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,720 as a family until after the holidays? 52 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,430 - And for you, maybe ever. - Well, this stinks. 53 00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,990 - Yeah, we can't do this. This is not right. - We always spend christmas together. 54 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,370 Yeah, we have to do something about it. 55 00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:15,160 Ho,ho, hold up a sec. 56 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:20,110 We're all free today. We've got four hours to shop,cook,wrap, get a tree. 57 00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:22,960 By tonight, we could be celebrating christmas, right? 58 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:24,010 I - I guess we could do that. 59 00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:25,090 Of course we can! 60 00:02:25,130 --> 00:02:26,790 Have you ever heard of express christmas? 61 00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:28,890 No. No, you haven't, because I just invented it. 62 00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:30,710 Express christmas,"tm." 63 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:32,670 - It's when you can't have it on christmas day... - I got it. 64 00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:34,260 - And you have to scramble. - Get on with it! 65 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:35,950 We're wasting time! We're wasting time! 66 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,240 Everyone in the house! We'll make a plan! 67 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,750 Time is of the-oh! Ow! Hot! Hot! It's just too hot! 68 00:02:41,790 --> 00:02:43,200 Oh, phil! 69 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,600 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- Proudly Presents 70 00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:51,970 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- É­Æo°®ÂüÄá 71 00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:54,510 Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 72 00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:57,450 - So we're really doing this, huh? - Yes. 73 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,440 'cause I had stuff lined up for christmas eve. 74 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:03,710 Yeah, jay. It's manny's last chance to enjoy a family christmas. 75 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,220 Until next year, you mean. 76 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:08,660 - Well, with all the snatchings... - Get out of my head, luke! 77 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,100 Okay, who's gonna get the tree? 78 00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:14,110 Oh! I will. I will. Because, you know, get the wrong kind, people get upset. 79 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,870 - You get upset. - I'm people. 80 00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:18,150 Fine,I'll get the turkey. What about gifts? 81 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,590 - Jay, did we finish shopping? - Yeah, but we're not wrapped. 82 00:03:20,630 --> 00:03:22,460 Oh,I can help with that. We have a mobile wrapping station. 83 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,190 God, has that thing paid for itself. 84 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,550 Really? 'cause I feel like I paid for it. 85 00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:27,980 Okay. We've got lights and ornaments at our place. 86 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:29,080 Oh! You know what would be great? 87 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,560 - Is the angel! - The angel. 88 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,660 Yeah. Where is it? 89 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,530 Oh. Um,gloria, it's up in your attic. Would you get it? 90 00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:35,270 Ay, no! Not the attic! 91 00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:37,960 it's dirty, and there are spiders. 92 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,010 Oh, but it really won't be christmas without it. 93 00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:42,110 Won't be christmas with it. It's december 16th. 94 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:44,350 Luke will help gloria. He's not scared. 95 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:46,670 Oh, good. You won't find me in any attic. 96 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:49,330 That may be exactly where they find you. 97 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:50,370 mom! 98 00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:54,010 Uh,I have a party tonight. You promised I could go if I got a "b" on my test. 99 00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:56,690 I studied. I read stuff. What was the point of all that? 100 00:03:56,730 --> 00:03:58,570 - The point, young lady, is for... - Who can remember? 101 00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,880 Express christmas will be done by 9:00. 102 00:04:00,910 --> 00:04:02,570 - Claire,I'll text you the gift list. - Okay. 103 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,050 You and haley do the shopping. 104 00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:06,370 Manny, you're coming with me. We're gonna get groceries. 105 00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:08,560 Dinner, our house,6:00. 106 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,120 Let's move! 107 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:14,570 On dasher! On dancer! On prancer and vixen! 108 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,280 Hey, that kind of worked out. 109 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:23,630 Come on, haley. It'll be fun. A lot of fun. We can go to target. Okay? 110 00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:26,440 Come on, let's go! 111 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:29,680 So it's-it's just me and lily getting the tree, then? 112 00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:32,380 - Hello? - Hello? 113 00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:35,330 My mom tells me it's "xmas" in a text? 114 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,970 Yeah,well, my mom canceled in a voice mail 115 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:41,190 and told me she had a boyfriend in a newsletter, so... Join the team. 116 00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:43,260 Put some clothes on. We're getting a tree. 117 00:04:43,540 --> 00:04:45,570 Wait. Hold on. 118 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,860 - Luke! - At what? 119 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:52,960 What do you mean,"at what"? I said "luke." 120 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,790 I am looking. 121 00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:58,030 I know you are. Stay on the beams. 122 00:04:58,190 --> 00:04:59,940 Maybe it's here. 123 00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:03,840 Ay, dios mio! El diablo! It's back! 124 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,930 What is so special about that angel, anyways? 125 00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:13,030 I don't know. I guess nana made it for mom and uncle mitchell when they were kids. 126 00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:15,420 Ay, that's nice. 127 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,090 Look where you're going! 128 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,510 To open more boxes. 129 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,780 oh, you said "look where you're going," didn't you? 130 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:28,340 yes. 131 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,050 Every time you say "luke," I think you're saying "look." 132 00:05:31,090 --> 00:05:32,730 I don't hear the difference. 133 00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,950 It's not that hard. One is my name. 134 00:05:34,990 --> 00:05:36,340 Juan is not your name! 135 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:39,440 Stop kidding around and look, luke! 136 00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:43,090 Ay,I get it. "look" sounds like "luke." 137 00:05:43,130 --> 00:05:45,100 yes. Thank god. 138 00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:48,100 I've been carrying that one around for three years. 139 00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:52,200 Ugh. There's like a hundred things on this list. 140 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,700 I know but it's just the two of us. It's fun. 141 00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:57,040 Okay, it's not fake mother's day. 142 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,540 Ugh! This place is huge! 143 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,560 oh, plus we have to cook dinner! 144 00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:02,830 This is impossible. 145 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,780 Listen to me. 146 00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:08,060 Your whole life has led to this moment. 147 00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:11,900 All the training, the hours of dedication... 148 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:14,770 There's not a soul alive who can touch you when it comes to shopping, 149 00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:15,950 and,baby, you know it. 150 00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:17,990 Look at me. 151 00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,700 Be you. 152 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,720 Give me that list. 153 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,560 Never been more proud in my life. 154 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,500 - Come on. - no. 155 00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:29,510 This way. 156 00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:33,630 What about this one? 157 00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:35,700 Let's see. No. No. 158 00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:37,430 I'm sorry,I know I'm being really o.c.d. Right now, 159 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,860 but there's something very particular that I'm looking for. 160 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:44,400 It needs to be a douglas fir, at least 8 feet tall, and look good from all sides. 161 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,650 Exactly. No bald spots. 162 00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:47,630 Yes. Thank you. Thank you. 163 00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:50,020 The key is symmetry, right? 164 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,110 how come we never go shopping together? 165 00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:57,560 - Because I hate shopping. - I do, too! 166 00:06:57,690 --> 00:06:59,260 - Okay, this one. - Wait. 167 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,240 Oh. No,no, no. Oh,no,no,no, no. 168 00:07:01,270 --> 00:07:02,990 Uh,I think I know what you're looking for, 169 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:05,740 and we just got a shipment that might be perfect for you. 170 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,180 Okay, wow. 171 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:11,810 Just because my uncle is clearly gay... 172 00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:14,590 doesn't mean he'd ever want your tacky pink tree. 173 00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:17,010 And frankly, we'd rather throw some lights on a coatrack 174 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:21,230 than have to deal with knuckle-draggers like you today of all days. 175 00:07:21,570 --> 00:07:23,440 December 16th. 176 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,130 Okay, first of all, amazing. 177 00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:28,400 Second of all - I was pointing to the truck. 178 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,520 It's full of 8- foot douglas-firs. 179 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,010 It's behind the pink tree. 180 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:37,000 Second of all,uh, we're-we're gonna go ahead and take,uh, this-this tree... 181 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,050 - That one. - And we're going to tie it onto our car ourselves. 182 00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:42,000 You bet you will. 183 00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:44,450 - I have two daddies. - He gets it, lily. 184 00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:46,160 Yeah. 185 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,710 Oh. Finger. 186 00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:52,350 All right. 187 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:55,180 Cam and jay-you know, sort of sounds like a bird. 188 00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:58,530 "the migratory patterns of the cam and jay... " 189 00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:00,140 do you have any more tape in that thing? 190 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,810 Do I have more tape in that? 191 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,440 I got a tank full of tape, mister. 192 00:08:03,470 --> 00:08:05,510 What do you want? Invisible? Satin finish? 193 00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:07,530 - Uh, double sided? - Whatever. Whatever. 194 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,220 Okay. 195 00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:13,550 That's interesting. 196 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:15,090 I doubt that it is, but what? 197 00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:16,890 Well,I mean the way you wrap a gift. 198 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,810 That's a lot of tape. Nobody can get in. 199 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:25,860 Kind of like... You know... I mean,well, you let me in, 200 00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:29,720 but in general,w - Why so much tape, jay? 201 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,040 Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out? 202 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,950 It's my christmas sweater. 203 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:36,540 Based on those stains, you are the christmas sweater. 204 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,430 Well, who's been a very good boy? 205 00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:48,240 So... 206 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,440 Okay. Are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room, 207 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,600 which is ironic because it's so tiny? 208 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,520 A man doesn't give another man a gift this small. 209 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,770 Oh, what do you think it is,a ring? 210 00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:11,180 - Was there wine with this cork? - Yes, there was, and we drank it on... 211 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,810 Oh, we drank it on, uh... eh? 212 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,250 Yeah. Um... On that boat. 213 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,920 - You have no idea. - I can't even remember my own anniversary, cam. 214 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:23,780 How would I have remembered having had wine with my son's boyfriend? 215 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:25,780 No,I do this. This is my fault. 216 00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:28,640 I - I attach too much meaning to things. 217 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,150 I mean, we watched our first football game together five years ago, 218 00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:35,230 and I feel the need to save the cork from the bottle of wine you served. 219 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:36,830 I mean, who does that? 220 00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:37,960 It's not your only gift, by the way. 221 00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:40,180 There's a duplicate bottle in that box right over there 222 00:09:40,220 --> 00:09:44,790 which I had engraved with the date and the final score, because I have a problem. 223 00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:46,670 I feel too much. I gotta get going to claire's. 224 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:49,390 - Cam... - No. Fresh wound. Can't talk yet. 225 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,270 Fine. We'll put a cork in it. 226 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:53,170 Let it scab, jay. 227 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,280 Let it scab. 228 00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:04,810 Oh, there you are. I thought I'd lost you. 229 00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:07,700 Oh,I'm sorry. I may have taken a few minutes to try out a futon. 230 00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:08,580 It's a young woman's game. 231 00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,280 Okay. Where do we stand? 232 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,060 - I think we have everything. - yes! 233 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:15,050 Oh... Except the ladybug night-light for lily. 234 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,800 - Haley, your whole life has led up... - Oh,I got it, mom,I got it. 235 00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:20,800 Okay, okay,I'll b - I'll see you in line. 236 00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:37,530 Yes, ronald? 237 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:40,420 I not only found it,I got the last one. 238 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,460 Yes, the ladybug, not the turtle. 239 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:46,720 I also got the doll, so I'm all set. I'm gonna leave in five. 240 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:55,680 Or maybe I just want paper. 241 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,850 Paper. Paper. Just paper all the way. Yeah. 242 00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,630 Haley! 243 00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:04,270 Too late to change my mind? 244 00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:07,870 Sir, would you like me to hold your merchandise up at the register 245 00:11:07,910 --> 00:11:09,040 while you finish shopping? 246 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,050 Oh. Aren't you a dream? 247 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,370 Pack of gum. 248 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:24,010 And... One more pack of gum. 249 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,910 People drop in this time of year, you know. 250 00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:29,670 Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. 251 00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:31,510 Sorry. Excuse me. 252 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,360 Night-light you were looking for, ma'am. 253 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,320 Ring her up, madison. 254 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,450 Thank you. 255 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,890 There you go. 256 00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:42,460 You're leaving me alone here? 257 00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:45,930 No,no,no, no. I... It'll,uh, it'll just take me two minutes. 258 00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:48,440 I need to get jay's supersecret special gift. 259 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:52,170 Great. First you lose me in the grocery store, now I'm in a deserted parking lot. 260 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,920 Why don't you just put a sign on me that says "free kid"? 261 00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:56,260 I think that might be him. 262 00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:58,080 You don't know the guy we're meeting? 263 00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,500 That's how craigslist works. 264 00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:02,010 Total strangers sell you things like signed vintage baseball cards 265 00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:04,720 that make your father-in-law respect you for an afternoon. 266 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,860 I don't like the looks of this guy. 267 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,270 He looks like everybody else. 268 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:11,060 Great. You can just tell that to the police sketch artist. 269 00:12:12,770 --> 00:12:13,750 Joe dimaggio? 270 00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:16,040 Phil dunphy, but I get that a lot. 271 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,630 Kidding. I'm your guy. 272 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,350 Can I see the cash? 273 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:22,460 Yes. Can I... Can I see the card? 274 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,580 Mint condition. 275 00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:29,160 That's why I want another $50. 276 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,190 I only have the $200. 277 00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:32,320 Uh, deal's off, then. 278 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:38,020 Come on. It's christmas... At our house. It's a long story. 279 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:39,590 $225. 280 00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:41,280 I just spent all my cash on groceries. 281 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,180 - Fine. But I'm taking the butterball. - I don't know about that. 282 00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:45,980 That's it. I'm getting mother's little helper. 283 00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:48,170 - What? - My mom keeps a stun gun for emergencies. 284 00:12:48,210 --> 00:12:50,970 This isn't an emergen - eeh! 285 00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:56,610 Now it is. 286 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,190 I thought he was going to snatch me. 287 00:13:04,230 --> 00:13:07,780 A butterball is a turkey. 288 00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:08,590 What'd he say? 289 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:13,420 I think he said,"a butterball's a turkey." I was reaching for the turkey. 290 00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:16,240 Oh. Well, we can't give you our turkey. 291 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:18,890 Yes, we can. 292 00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:22,320 And... Here's the... Money. 293 00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:29,390 Joe dimaggio! 294 00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:31,810 Joe dimaggio. 295 00:13:35,570 --> 00:13:41,250 Mint condit- Near-mint con- 296 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:51,110 Fair condit - Garbage. 297 00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:01,890 Huh. Never saw this before. 298 00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:04,490 "an angel for my angels. Love, mom." 299 00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:06,600 Oh, that's beautiful. 300 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,190 And it smells like mothballs, just like nana. 301 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:10,630 Luke... 302 00:14:10,670 --> 00:14:12,970 - Thank-merry christmas.- Just-just give it up. 303 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,030 He hates us. 304 00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:17,590 Don't beat yourself up. 305 00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:19,320 I do that,like, once a week. 306 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,630 The good news is, we never have to come back here. 307 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:25,300 Watch out! 308 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:27,530 - The tree! - I can't watch! 309 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,850 - Look! - Ay, yes,I said "luke." 310 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,280 - you told me already. I did it right! - No! Look! 311 00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,300 Never look back. Never! 312 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,300 Maybe we can salvage it? 313 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,940 Are you okay, papi? 314 00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:49,030 yeah. 315 00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:52,130 Good. That's because we had our guardian angel. 316 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,500 Ay! A spider! 317 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,130 hey, mom? 318 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,050 Check it. 319 00:15:05,090 --> 00:15:06,200 The gum! 320 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,070 Oh, and you made it pretty. Honey, put it on the table. 321 00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:11,490 - New tradition? - Oh, yes. Yes. 322 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,660 Christmas gum. 323 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:16,580 I take one. 324 00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:19,510 Tough to decorate the tree with no tree, huh? 325 00:15:19,550 --> 00:15:21,280 Yeah. 326 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,140 How long you gonna ignore me, cam? 327 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:26,040 Until the shame cloud clears. 328 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,930 You know,I push. I'm a pusher. 329 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,040 You gotta give yourself a break. 330 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:33,260 See, the thing about me,I'm not as open with feelings as you. 331 00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:35,600 You've gotta lower your expectations. 332 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,100 Oh,I get it. 333 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,280 - Baby steps. - No steps. 334 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,820 This is it. 335 00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:42,120 See? Did it again. 336 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,390 Push! Push,push,push, push. 337 00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:44,640 Now I've pushed you out of the room. 338 00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:46,630 That's fine. 339 00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:48,330 How is she? 340 00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,310 I got the tire marks off her wings, but I can't get her head to stay on. 341 00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,830 Okay, that's what this is for. 342 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:59,160 Now stick it in the top of the tree with the good part facing out. Come on. 343 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:00,580 Well, that stuffing looks good. 344 00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,330 All we need now is a turkey to surround it. 345 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:06,130 Well, relax. Phil just texted, and he's "on his wax." 346 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,890 Okay! Here comes the tree. 347 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,630 oh! Finally! 348 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,080 - Here comes more of the tree. - Hi, honey. 349 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,700 Oh. Oh, my gosh. What happened? 350 00:16:14,730 --> 00:16:16,360 Well,uh, someone ran over it, 351 00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:19,230 but that's okay 'cause we are gonna put it back together. 352 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,300 Right now. 353 00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:21,750 He's gonna need a lot of gum. 354 00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:24,110 Oh, thank god. Here comes phil and the butterball. 355 00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:25,570 I have a name. 356 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,420 I am sorry, but there is no turkey. 357 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,800 There's no turkey? What's the plan, phil? 358 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,470 Cornish game hens. 359 00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:36,930 If you get real close, they look like turkeys, and everyone gets their own. 360 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,300 Sounds like fun. 361 00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:42,010 Not fun. Not fun. I asked you to pick up a cooked turkey. 362 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,160 The store was out of turkeys. 363 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,580 It was an hour to express christmas. 364 00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:47,360 Please, just make it work, okay? Please. 365 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,610 They're not even defrosted. 366 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:49,650 Fine, claire. 367 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:51,170 You want 'em defrosted? 368 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,970 Merry... Freaking... Christmas! 369 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,170 Phil! 370 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,570 Is that my stun gun? 371 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,170 Yep. And it works great. 372 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,240 Okay. Okay. 373 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,760 Um... We can make this work. This can work. 374 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,350 Dad, you and mitchell reassemble that tree. 375 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:08,180 All right. 376 00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:11,100 And I am going to defrost these birds, and we'll cook them in shifts, 377 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,130 and we'll just push dinner back by a bit. 378 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,610 Oh, how long? 'cause I still have my party. 379 00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:17,950 - What the hell happened to the angel? - No! 380 00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:21,450 The real question here is, how come we still have the dog butler? 381 00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:22,440 Oh, you found him, huh? 382 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,520 Well, this thing is - It's filthy. 383 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,410 And... What happened? 384 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,940 It got run over. 385 00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:32,120 Probably by the same maniac who ran over the tree. 386 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,950 Oh, my god. Is that - Yep. Yep, that's gum. That is gum. 387 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:38,010 Okay,I'm... I'm out. I'm done. I am out. 388 00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:42,160 No. No turkey, no tree, and now this looks like the lady she used to be 389 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,590 before she died and became an angel. 390 00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:46,830 All right. Relax, mitchell. It's an ornament. 391 00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:49,010 No, he's right. We're never gonna get this together. 392 00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:50,870 - I'm going to my party. - No, no. No, you're not. 393 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:51,930 You are not. You're staying right here, 394 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:55,090 because you're not going to abandon your family... On christmas. 395 00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:56,170 It's not christmas. 396 00:17:56,210 --> 00:17:59,160 Exactly. Exactly. It's not christmas, claire. 397 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,580 Okay, fine! 398 00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:04,250 Fine! You know what? I am really tired of trying to make this work on my own. 399 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,830 I will see you people in a year. 400 00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:07,950 And nine days. 401 00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:10,680 No! Nobody goes anywhere. 402 00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:13,870 I know what the problem is here. 403 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,980 You two miss your mommy. 404 00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:19,050 - no. - I do not miss my mommy. 405 00:18:19,090 --> 00:18:21,080 Admit it. It's sad. 406 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:23,850 She used to make you cookies, the angel... 407 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:28,920 Now she talks to you in a newsletter and she cancels for no reason. 408 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,100 Come here, my little ones. 409 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,320 No. We're... Good. No, it's fine. We're good. It's not a big deal. 410 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,810 It's christmas. You need a mommy. 411 00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,100 - You're not mommy. - But you're not our mommy. 412 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:41,560 And it's not christmas. Come here. 413 00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,810 It's okay to miss her. 414 00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:46,970 Can I put in my 2 cents on fake christmas? 415 00:18:47,010 --> 00:18:48,120 Express christmas. 416 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,160 Let it go, phil. It's not sticking. 417 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,140 It needs time. 418 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,870 We all gave it our best shot to make this thing work. 419 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,740 It just didn't happen, all right? 420 00:18:56,770 --> 00:18:58,840 What do you say we cut our losses? 421 00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:03,910 Let's go out to a nice chinese restaurant and have a traditional jewish christmas. 422 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:05,670 But I risked my life grocery shopping. 423 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:07,460 Save that story for wang fu. 424 00:19:07,490 --> 00:19:09,080 Now let's go. Come on, everybody. 425 00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:11,780 Oh, wang fu's? Dad, no. On me! Out! Everybody out! 426 00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:14,170 Wang fu's. It's on me. 427 00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:16,280 Let's go. Come on, baby girl. 428 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,470 Come on, honey. 429 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:25,550 - What's going on? - Awesome! 430 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,940 You hate chinese food. 431 00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,700 Not bad, huh? 432 00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:42,620 Jay,jay, jay. 433 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:44,880 You wanna hug me, don't you? I kind of do. 434 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:45,640 4 to 5 seconds. 435 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,030 - 45 seconds? - 4 to 5 seconds. 436 00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,850 Oh, okay. 437 00:19:53,910 --> 00:19:56,000 Family is family. 438 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,920 Whether it's the one you start out with... 439 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,800 - Hi, mom! Hi, mom! - Merry christmas! 440 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,250 - So,um, tell us everything about the new boyfriend. - Oh, yeah. 441 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,730 - Don't leave anything out. - You can leave some things out. 442 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,960 The one that you end up with... 443 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:14,740 Or the family that you gain along the way... 444 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,580 Which makes every day december 16th. 445 00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:36,080 Hey,jay, um,I'm sorry about the baseball card. 446 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,250 I- I did get you a- a backup gift. 447 00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:41,610 It's-it's nothing. I picked it up when we stopped for gas. 448 00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:44,390 Dog antlers. 449 00:20:44,420 --> 00:20:46,680 I know. You got us snow, and I got you dog antlers. 450 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,020 - I love these. - I thought you might. 451 00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,960 Honey, look. Come here. 452 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,930 How cute is that? 453 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,090 Where's my camera? 454 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,880 Gloria, you gotta see this! 455 00:20:57,910 --> 00:20:59,970 Casta, Gloria! 456 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,070 - Dog antlers... - He loves dog antlers. 457 00:21:03,110 --> 00:21:04,940 Oh, no! Okay! 458 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,340 I am so sorry. 459 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,100 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- Proudly Presents 460 00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:16,400 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- É­Æo°®ÂüÄá 461 00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:18,840 Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10