1
00:00:06,241 --> 00:00:08,794
- Did you see it?
- Does she know?

2
00:00:08,804 --> 00:00:12,758
This is the last thing
she needs today.no!

3
00:00:12,768 --> 00:00:14,940
Busy day at the dunphy
compound. We have a wedding tonight,

4
00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:18,754
and this afternoon, claire is debating
duane bailey in the race for town council.

5
00:00:18,764 --> 00:00:23,128
And now the "weekly saver" says
that some voters find claire-

6
00:00:23,138 --> 00:00:26,432
Quote
- "angry and unlikable.

7
00:00:26,432 --> 00:00:30,005
" To those voters,I
say,"wait till she sees this.

8
00:00:30,015 --> 00:00:32,758
" No one can mention it to her.

9
00:00:32,768 --> 00:00:36,311
We can't have some unscientific
poll shaking claire's confidence.

10
00:00:36,311 --> 00:00:38,504
Phil... What poll?

11
00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:40,195
Too late. She knows.

12
00:00:40,205 --> 00:00:42,558
- Who told her?
- What is this,a witch hunt?

13
00:00:42,558 --> 00:00:44,790
Oh, my god.

14
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:47,012
I have to go.

15
00:00:47,232 --> 00:00:48,654
Well,I just don't think it's a big deal.

16
00:00:48,654 --> 00:00:50,646
I mean, how many people
read the "weekly... "

17
00:00:50,656 --> 00:00:52,668
- "saver"?
- "saver," anyway?

18
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:55,801
22,000... Ish.

19
00:00:55,811 --> 00:01:00,596
My company adver
- Used to advertise with that newspaper.

20
00:01:00,606 --> 00:01:02,708
And how am I angry and unlikable?

21
00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:04,920
- Can I take this one?
- I wouldn't.

22
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,573
- You seem angry now.
- I am angry, at that poll.

23
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:10,025
I think it's the yelling.I
would tone down the yelling.

24
00:01:10,025 --> 00:01:12,227
Honey,I don't yell for no reason.

25
00:01:12,237 --> 00:01:14,580
You yelled at my teacher
for calling me "special.

26
00:01:14,580 --> 00:01:16,832
" Honey, that was not a compliment.

27
00:01:16,842 --> 00:01:19,775
- Sweetheart, you're not unlikable.
- Thank you.

28
00:01:19,785 --> 00:01:23,399
You just seem unlikable. But if we
work on it, it's totally fixable.

29
00:01:23,399 --> 00:01:25,561
How?How,phil?How are
we gonna "work on it"?

30
00:01:25,571 --> 00:01:28,003
First of all, lose the snippy attitude.

31
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:29,915
And I don't know-maybe we
could have a mock debate.

32
00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:32,628
Good idea. That way, mom can
rehearse her views on the issues.

33
00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:36,161
Yeah, and we can point out all the little
things she does that turn people off.

34
00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:39,825
Like that look.I would lose that look.

35
00:01:41,427 --> 00:01:43,799
Not really.Spooky, but better.

36
00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,853
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
- =http://ytet. org=- proudly presents

37
00:01:47,943 --> 00:01:52,077
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
YTET- ¶¬ÃßµÄÖí

38
00:01:52,117 --> 00:01:54,930
Modern
Family Season 3 Episode 13

39
00:01:55,891 --> 00:01:57,913
All right. Thank you very much.

40
00:01:57,913 --> 00:02:00,636
Hey,lily! Come here, honey!

41
00:02:00,636 --> 00:02:03,258
Hi! Do you know what this is?

42
00:02:03,258 --> 00:02:05,300
- A box.
- Containing?

43
00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:06,351
She doesn't know "containing.

44
00:02:06,351 --> 00:02:08,574
" Well, that's how she learns
new words, by us using them.

45
00:02:08,574 --> 00:02:12,638
Or, that's how we lower her self-esteem, by
bombarding her with confusing vocabulary.

46
00:02:12,638 --> 00:02:14,780
What's the box containing?

47
00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:16,071
- Told you.
- Okay.

48
00:02:16,081 --> 00:02:19,665
It's your dress.It's finally here!

49
00:02:19,665 --> 00:02:22,948
It's every little girl's dream
to be a flower girl in a wedding.

50
00:02:22,948 --> 00:02:24,460
It's lily's chance to shine.

51
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:26,982
I was a 3-time ring bearer.

52
00:02:26,982 --> 00:02:30,185
It's lily's chance to shine.

53
00:02:32,678 --> 00:02:33,789
Pretty!

54
00:02:33,799 --> 00:02:36,912
Oh,no, cam
- Cam, she's gonna look like little bo peep.

55
00:02:36,922 --> 00:02:40,716
Or little bo cheap. Look at this
fabric.It's already pilling.

56
00:02:40,716 --> 00:02:41,947
Maybe it'll look better on.

57
00:02:41,947 --> 00:02:46,932
- You mean turned on?-
no, it does not-cam!

58
00:02:46,942 --> 00:02:48,924
- I love it!
- No, you don't.

59
00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:51,176
Oh, my gosh. Are we really
gonna let her wear this?

60
00:02:51,176 --> 00:02:54,520
You know what? If the bride wants to have a
tacky wedding, she can have a tacky wedding.

61
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:56,231
- Lily will be the bright spot.
- Literally.

62
00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:58,524
Heard it as soon as I said it.

63
00:02:58,854 --> 00:03:01,707
Stella!

64
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:05,571
Where's my good girl?

65
00:03:05,711 --> 00:03:07,563
Gloria, is stella up there?

66
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,975
No. But I am.

67
00:03:09,975 --> 00:03:12,718
Why don't you say "hello" to
your wife when you come home?

68
00:03:12,718 --> 00:03:15,701
Well, why don't you greet me
at the door, wagging your tail?

69
00:03:15,711 --> 00:03:18,594
Stella,honey! Where are you?

70
00:03:18,604 --> 00:03:20,185
Stella!

71
00:03:21,116 --> 00:03:22,998
My baby!

72
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:26,422
Stella,I'm coming!I'm coming!

73
00:03:31,176 --> 00:03:33,779
You okay? You okay?

74
00:03:33,779 --> 00:03:35,611
Why are you swimming in your clothes?

75
00:03:35,611 --> 00:03:37,933
Because I'm self-conscious
about my body.

76
00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:40,546
- Stella fell in the pool.
- It's my fault.

77
00:03:40,556 --> 00:03:43,348
I let her out, and then I got
caught up in my couponing.

78
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,271
Any coupons for swim
lessons?'cause stella needs some.

79
00:03:46,281 --> 00:03:49,975
Seriously? Manny you teach to
swim by throwing him in the pool,

80
00:03:49,975 --> 00:03:52,327
but the dog gets swimming lessons?

81
00:03:52,337 --> 00:03:54,740
I gotta say, it was
unpleasant but effective.

82
00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:57,443
We have to teach stella how to
swim.Otherwise, she could drown.

83
00:03:57,443 --> 00:03:59,555
Why don't you teach her
not to jump in the pool?

84
00:03:59,565 --> 00:04:01,857
She didn't jump in the
pool. She fell in the pool.

85
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,800
Why,suddenly, would she jump in the
pool when she doesn't know how to swim?

86
00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:07,763
Why does she bark at
the vacuum? It's a thing.

87
00:04:07,773 --> 00:04:10,105
It is never going to play with you.

88
00:04:10,105 --> 00:04:11,957
Are you saying that stella is stupid?

89
00:04:11,967 --> 00:04:14,830
- Are you covering her ears?
- Let's have a little compassion.

90
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:19,054
She's probably still traumatized
from her near-death experience.

91
00:04:19,064 --> 00:04:22,347
- Again? What's happening?
- Ay, no!

92
00:04:23,118 --> 00:04:26,442
- welcome,candidates.Mrs. Dunphy...
- Thank you for having me.

93
00:04:26,442 --> 00:04:29,194
- And councilman bailey.
- Gosh, thank you so much, alex.

94
00:04:29,194 --> 00:04:31,907
I'm deeply honored to be
here, and I remain, as ever,

95
00:04:31,907 --> 00:04:36,442
a humble servant to the greatest
little town in the greatest darn-

96
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,193
Eye-rolling.

97
00:04:38,193 --> 00:04:39,164
Playful eye rolling.

98
00:04:39,174 --> 00:04:42,588
How do we, as voters, know
it's playful?I would avoid it.

99
00:04:42,598 --> 00:04:45,180
Okay.No eye rolling.

100
00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:48,394
And don't purse your lips like
that.It makes you look annoyed.

101
00:04:49,324 --> 00:04:52,528
- And don't touch your face.
- Yeah, no face touching. Seems nervous.

102
00:04:52,538 --> 00:04:55,441
Some of this is subjective.

103
00:04:55,451 --> 00:04:57,172
- What? What now?
- Anger.

104
00:04:57,182 --> 00:04:59,254
It looks like you're scolding us.

105
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,626
I will keep my hands at my sides.

106
00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:03,128
Not on your hips.You're not superman.

107
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,170
- Can we get started?
- We haven't started?

108
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,873
- I've prepared some questions.
- Oh,goody! Actual questions.

109
00:05:07,883 --> 00:05:09,284
Honk. Sarcasm.

110
00:05:09,284 --> 00:05:10,766
Just go.

111
00:05:10,776 --> 00:05:14,680
Okay,Mrs.Dunphy, why are you
running for local office?

112
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:18,774
okay,that's,um, that's good.I... Um,I-

113
00:05:18,784 --> 00:05:21,457
Mom, you really shouldn't stutter
over a basic question like that.

114
00:05:21,457 --> 00:05:23,338
You should at least
know why you're running.

115
00:05:23,338 --> 00:05:25,611
I thought the moderator was
supposed to be objective.

116
00:05:25,611 --> 00:05:28,694
Not if she's the only one in the
room who has actual debate experience.

117
00:05:28,694 --> 00:05:30,786
Now why are you running?

118
00:05:30,796 --> 00:05:32,257
I saw the need for a stop sign in-

119
00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:34,049
- Liar!
- Phil!

120
00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:37,543
I
- I just think you should be ready for anything.

121
00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:39,114
I saw the need for a s-

122
00:05:39,124 --> 00:05:41,437
- What?
- Sorry. Accidental buzz.

123
00:05:41,447 --> 00:05:43,218
I saw the need for a stop
sign in my neighborhood,

124
00:05:43,228 --> 00:05:46,211
and although I collected the necessary
signatures and did the paperwork,

125
00:05:46,211 --> 00:05:48,944
I found local government
to be entirely unhelpful-

126
00:05:48,944 --> 00:05:50,936
- When-what?- Too
long.I'm bored.

127
00:05:50,946 --> 00:05:54,870
Yeah, next question.I
feel like I'm in school.

128
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,301
Some say the political system

129
00:05:56,311 --> 00:06:00,846
is bogged down by ideological
hard-liners unwilling to compromise.

130
00:06:00,846 --> 00:06:04,059
How would you respond to
that, councilman bailey?

131
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:07,863
I would like to use my lifeline.

132
00:06:07,873 --> 00:06:09,144
I'll take this.

133
00:06:09,154 --> 00:06:11,797
If elected,I would
consider all perspectives,

134
00:06:11,797 --> 00:06:15,901
and I would not ignore
opposing viewpoints.

135
00:06:15,911 --> 00:06:17,483
Helicopter. Just keep going.

136
00:06:17,483 --> 00:06:19,995
I would consider all perspectives, and
I wouldn't ignore opposing -

137
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:22,137
- you suck!
- Luke!

138
00:06:22,147 --> 00:06:24,990
- You have to be ready for hecklers.
- He's right.

139
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,292
Okay.I'm doing over.No buzzing.

140
00:06:27,302 --> 00:06:29,865
If elected,I-

141
00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:31,497
- What?
- Too close to the mic.

142
00:06:31,497 --> 00:06:34,770
- Phil, it's a hairbrush.
- Okay.

143
00:06:35,991 --> 00:06:41,346
If elected,I would consider all opinions
and not ignore those of the opposition,

144
00:06:41,346 --> 00:06:45,090
as councilman bailey
has done for six terms.

145
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:46,662
What? That was a great answer.

146
00:06:46,662 --> 00:06:51,046
Well,I couldn't hear it because you were
showing me the bad side of your face.

147
00:06:51,046 --> 00:06:52,768
- I have a bad side?
- Yeah, the left.

148
00:06:52,778 --> 00:06:55,981
- No.It's the right.
- Uh,dad, it's totally the left.I mean, look at it.

149
00:06:55,981 --> 00:06:57,743
Sweetheart, why do you think
I chose my side of the bed?

150
00:06:57,743 --> 00:06:59,845
Okay!Okay. Thank you. Thank you, family.

151
00:06:59,855 --> 00:07:02,117
This has been super-duper helpful.

152
00:07:02,127 --> 00:07:05,721
Hands,lips,sarcasm,eye-rolling, wrong
side of the face.

153
00:07:05,721 --> 00:07:09,735
Oh,yeah.Now I see it. yep.

154
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:13,489
She's ready.

155
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:18,143
And it's this, and it's this.

156
00:07:18,143 --> 00:07:21,256
Not this, but this.

157
00:07:21,256 --> 00:07:22,778
- Okay.Okay, that's good, cam.
- And this.

158
00:07:22,788 --> 00:07:25,240
- Save-let's save some petals
for lily, all right?- Okay.

159
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,723
- Let's do it over here,sweetheart. Right over here.
- Okay.

160
00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:29,585
There you go.Oh, like you're
coming down the aisle!

161
00:07:29,595 --> 00:07:31,447
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.

162
00:07:31,457 --> 00:07:34,029
- Not too many at once. That's good.
- Okay.You're doing great, lil.

163
00:07:34,039 --> 00:07:38,113
- Oh, she is, isn't she?
- Forget the bride. All the eyes are gonna be on her.

164
00:07:50,506 --> 00:07:53,078
- I cannot believe you laughed!
- I am sorry.

165
00:07:53,088 --> 00:07:56,982
But you know I have two weaknesses
- Children cursing and old people rapping.

166
00:07:56,992 --> 00:07:58,624
Cam, we have to tell her it's a bad word.

167
00:07:58,624 --> 00:08:00,836
No. That just gives it more power.

168
00:08:00,836 --> 00:08:02,458
The less we make of it, the better.

169
00:08:02,468 --> 00:08:04,149
Let's just pretend
like it never happened.

170
00:08:04,159 --> 00:08:07,683
Okay.Yeah, maybe it- Maybe it
didn't. Maybe we-maybe we misheard.

171
00:08:07,693 --> 00:08:12,347
Yeah. Maybe she said
"truck." Or-or "duck.

172
00:08:12,357 --> 00:08:14,400
" Or "luck." She could have said "yuck.

173
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,221
" Daddy, can I have some ice cream?

174
00:08:16,231 --> 00:08:19,144
No,honey, if you're hungry, you
can have some fruit.

175
00:08:19,154 --> 00:08:21,306
Fruit?

176
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:25,901
I have two children.

177
00:08:32,157 --> 00:08:34,369
Phil?Phil, is this televised?

178
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,702
I didn't tell you because I
didn't want to make you nervous.

179
00:08:36,712 --> 00:08:39,645
Great plan. Really good plan. Throw me
for a curveball at the last minute.

180
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:41,917
Mom,chill.It's just public access.

181
00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:45,421
My debate team's on public access, and
the only people who watch me are you guys.

182
00:08:45,431 --> 00:08:47,032
Yep. All the time.

183
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:48,594
So maybe nobody will see this?

184
00:08:48,604 --> 00:08:51,437
No. We want people to see
this. That's how you win elections.

185
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,238
That's the whole point.

186
00:08:53,238 --> 00:08:56,632
Then mom should do something so
crazy and stupid, it goes viral.

187
00:08:56,642 --> 00:08:57,873
Mom, please don't go viral.

188
00:08:57,873 --> 00:09:00,656
Okay.I'll add that to my
list of things not to do-

189
00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:05,691
Don't touch my face, don't roll my eyes, don't
point my fingers, and definitely don't go viral.

190
00:09:05,701 --> 00:09:07,292
Do any of you still believe in me?

191
00:09:07,302 --> 00:09:09,575
Of course we do. We're on your side.

192
00:09:09,575 --> 00:09:11,887
- The right side.
- Not the left.

193
00:09:11,897 --> 00:09:15,160
Let's grab a seat.

194
00:09:15,711 --> 00:09:16,922
- Right. Left.
- Okay.

195
00:09:16,922 --> 00:09:19,104
Mom, just be confident.

196
00:09:19,114 --> 00:09:23,218
Based on what?I just lost a debate in my
living room, and people think I'm unlikable.

197
00:09:23,218 --> 00:09:26,492
That's just the word men use for powerful
women because they feel threatened.

198
00:09:26,502 --> 00:09:30,606
So just forget everything
else and be proud and powerful.

199
00:09:30,606 --> 00:09:34,460
- How did you get so smart?
- I've always assumed adoption or baby switch.

200
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:37,042
Hey.Hey.No kisses! Proud and powerful.

201
00:09:37,052 --> 00:09:39,274
- Sorry.
- And no apologizing.

202
00:09:39,274 --> 00:09:40,926
Yes! Shut up and get in there!

203
00:09:40,936 --> 00:09:44,540
That's more like it! Yeah!

204
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,692
Oh, god.

205
00:09:48,444 --> 00:09:50,946
- There she is. Go get 'em, claire.
- Thanks.

206
00:09:50,956 --> 00:09:53,619
Don't worry. We're going to cheer
for you no matter what you say.

207
00:09:53,629 --> 00:09:56,111
Oh,good. More support
from my loving family.

208
00:09:56,121 --> 00:09:58,644
Honk. Sarcasm.

209
00:09:58,654 --> 00:09:59,715
Why'd you bring stella?

210
00:09:59,715 --> 00:10:01,897
She keeps getting out
and jumping in the pool.

211
00:10:01,907 --> 00:10:04,269
We don't wanna take any
chances because she can't swim.

212
00:10:04,279 --> 00:10:05,851
Then why does she keep
jumping in the pool?

213
00:10:05,851 --> 00:10:07,943
I've been thinking
about it.I got a theory.

214
00:10:07,943 --> 00:10:09,575
She might be suicidal.

215
00:10:09,585 --> 00:10:11,807
What? That's crazy.

216
00:10:11,807 --> 00:10:15,090
There's not such thing as doggy suicide.

217
00:10:15,090 --> 00:10:16,872
Hi. Duane bailey.

218
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:19,074
Uh, sorry.I couldn't help but overhear.

219
00:10:19,074 --> 00:10:23,378
In addition to being a public servant,I'm
also an award-winning breeder of puggles.

220
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,561
I've won the puggly. Twice.

221
00:10:25,571 --> 00:10:28,954
And I'm afraid that doggy
suicide is all too real.

222
00:10:28,964 --> 00:10:34,089
It's just the mainstream media doesn't report
on it,'cause it's not as sexy as feline a.I.d.s.

223
00:10:34,099 --> 00:10:37,372
Stella is not suicidal. She's
just... Estupid.

224
00:10:37,372 --> 00:10:40,696
Well, that might be part of your
problem. She senses you don't like her.

225
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:44,750
You have no idea. This one's been against
this little angel from the very beginning.

226
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:48,003
Yeah,well, dogs pick up on that.You
know, they're very sensitive.

227
00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:51,907
I like to call them, um...
Bottomless pits of need.

228
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:55,881
But not to their face,though. That
would just destroy them. Not you.

229
00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:58,133
- So now this is my fault?
- I think he knows what he's talking about.

230
00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:00,586
- The man won a puggly.
- Two.I won two pugglies.

231
00:11:00,586 --> 00:11:03,619
- We're done here.
- In 2000 Yeah.

232
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:06,522
Do you have any idea
what station this is on?

233
00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:07,833
Here,I'll look online.

234
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,746
It's a webcast? That would have been
helpful to know 900 channels ago.

235
00:11:10,756 --> 00:11:12,578
No, it's on public access or something.

236
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,450
I wanna watch aunt claire!

237
00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:16,872
Okay.Well,first,honey, we
need to talk about something.

238
00:11:16,882 --> 00:11:19,435
It's about that word
you said this morning.

239
00:11:19,435 --> 00:11:22,307
- What word?
- You know, the one that starts with "f"?

240
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,010
- "Flower"?
- No.

241
00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:26,341
- "Fruit"?
- No.

242
00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:28,564
If she doesn't remember
it, we shouldn't remind her.

243
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:29,925
Oh,well, she said it three times.

244
00:11:29,925 --> 00:11:32,768
Oh, you mean.

245
00:11:33,168 --> 00:11:36,141
Cam, leave the room!

246
00:11:36,151 --> 00:11:38,784
No.I can do this.

247
00:11:38,794 --> 00:11:43,789
Lily, that is a bad word, and you
are not allowed to say it ever.

248
00:11:43,789 --> 00:11:44,920
But it makes you laugh.

249
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:49,304
Okay,well, daddy shouldn't be laughing, and
you should never say that word.

250
00:11:49,304 --> 00:11:52,438
- Do you understand?
- Maybe.

251
00:11:52,438 --> 00:11:55,010
Okay. This is not a game, all right?

252
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:57,322
If you say that word one more
time,I'm gonna take away all your toys!

253
00:11:57,332 --> 00:11:59,965
I'm serious! She knows I'm not serious.

254
00:11:59,965 --> 00:12:02,337
What about the wedding?What
if she says it there?

255
00:12:02,337 --> 00:12:03,769
She's like a ticking time bomb!

256
00:12:03,769 --> 00:12:05,801
- Well, what are we gonna do, cancel?
- Yes.

257
00:12:05,801 --> 00:12:07,132
Maybe we just call and say,

258
00:12:07,132 --> 00:12:09,254
"we're not going to any more weddings
until the gays can get married.

259
00:12:09,254 --> 00:12:10,796
" Oh, so now we're political?

260
00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:15,451
We leave town on gay pride weekend
because we don't like the traffic.

261
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:21,106
But there's no
substitute for experience.

262
00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:26,422
For example,I doubt my opponent is
familiar with town ordinance 26-12b...

263
00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:32,207
26-12b has to do with noise pollution-
Something,sir, that you are guilty of right now.

264
00:12:32,578 --> 00:12:34,560
Oh, no she di'int!

265
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:35,401
Go, mom!

266
00:12:35,411 --> 00:12:36,972
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Look at her eyes.

267
00:12:36,982 --> 00:12:40,676
I know. They're a little too close
together.It's been bugging me for years.

268
00:12:40,686 --> 00:12:43,499
No, she's in the zone. She's
ready for anything.

269
00:12:43,509 --> 00:12:46,632
I do like to talk... About the issues.

270
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:50,946
Speaking of issues, your
husband seems to have some.

271
00:12:50,956 --> 00:12:54,830
I'm sorry?I'm not sorry. What?

272
00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:58,574
Oh, well,I wouldn't want to bring
it up, but since you asked, um...

273
00:12:58,574 --> 00:13:02,718
In february of last year, your
husband,one,uh, phillip dunphy,

274
00:13:02,728 --> 00:13:08,163
was questioned at a local hotel
for lewd and lascivious conduct.

275
00:13:08,173 --> 00:13:09,995
Oh, jeez.

276
00:13:10,005 --> 00:13:11,016
That's not true.

277
00:13:11,016 --> 00:13:13,459
Ma'am, according to this
police report,he, uh,

278
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:17,122
broke into a stranger's
room, stripped naked...

279
00:13:17,132 --> 00:13:21,146
And then posed provocatively on the bed.

280
00:13:22,688 --> 00:13:27,983
That is technically true, but in
all fairness, it was valentine's day.

281
00:13:27,993 --> 00:13:30,846
Oh,I'm so sorry.It was valentine's day.

282
00:13:30,856 --> 00:13:33,619
I'm not sure,uh, if your husband
was born in this country.

283
00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:35,010
Perhaps he snuck in illegally,

284
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:39,505
but here in america, we celebrate
valentine's day with chocolates,

285
00:13:39,515 --> 00:13:42,217
not our private parts.

286
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,281
- This is my new favorite show.
- Shh!

287
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:51,316
No,sir, he was looking for me, his
wife, and he walked into the wrong room.

288
00:13:51,326 --> 00:13:55,100
If you believe that,I have some
talking puggles I'd like to sell you.

289
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,762
Do you believe this?

290
00:13:56,772 --> 00:13:58,564
Talking dogs?I'm skeptical.

291
00:13:58,564 --> 00:14:02,267
- I won the puggly. Twice.
- Be strong.

292
00:14:02,468 --> 00:14:04,359
I am glad that my
opponent brought this up,

293
00:14:04,369 --> 00:14:09,445
as I feel that it speaks to
his character more than mine.

294
00:14:09,455 --> 00:14:12,197
I think that we should
raise the level of discourse

295
00:14:12,207 --> 00:14:15,210
and get back to the issues that
the voters really care about.

296
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:17,383
When he was naked, what were you wearing?

297
00:14:17,393 --> 00:14:19,555
I... Don't think that's relevant.

298
00:14:19,555 --> 00:14:21,256
Are you sex freaks?

299
00:14:21,266 --> 00:14:25,360
My personal life has
nothing to do with this.

300
00:14:26,402 --> 00:14:31,407
the-my opponent has brought this
up to distract from his own record,

301
00:14:31,407 --> 00:14:36,412
which shows that in-in six years, he has
achieved nothing more than writing one ordinance

302
00:14:36,422 --> 00:14:40,906
that allows private parties
to have more than eight dogs.

303
00:14:41,306 --> 00:14:42,988
It's like watching the "hindenburg.

304
00:14:42,988 --> 00:14:45,381
" This is the most horrible
thing I've ever seen in my life.

305
00:14:45,381 --> 00:14:47,232
- Excuse me!
- Stand by.

306
00:14:47,242 --> 00:14:50,976
I am phil dunphy, and I am not a pervert.

307
00:14:50,986 --> 00:14:55,030
I, like a lot of men in this town,

308
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,293
enjoy making love to my wife.

309
00:14:58,414 --> 00:15:01,156
I mean, um... I mean with their wives.

310
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,368
Not me, them.

311
00:15:03,378 --> 00:15:07,463
Look,I should probably just sit down
and say nothing. But it's too late.

312
00:15:07,463 --> 00:15:10,005
I am standing, and I'm obviously talking,

313
00:15:10,015 --> 00:15:14,159
and now you're looking at me, and
I feel the need to keep going.

314
00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:18,504
First of all... No charges were filed.

315
00:15:18,504 --> 00:15:23,138
Everyone had a good laugh- About
the situation, not-not about me.

316
00:15:23,138 --> 00:15:25,250
Everything's fine down there.

317
00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:29,234
Anywho... Where were we?

318
00:15:29,234 --> 00:15:31,256
All over youtube.

319
00:15:31,266 --> 00:15:32,508
We went viral.

320
00:15:32,518 --> 00:15:35,360
Some sick bastard auto-tuned me.

321
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:38,494
I... like a lot of men in this town

322
00:15:38,494 --> 00:15:42,217
I enjoy making love to my wife-wife?

323
00:15:43,188 --> 00:15:45,711
and I don't know how to stop.

324
00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:49,455
I am a
pervert. Pervert-per-

325
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:54,249
jay!Manny! We should
have been there already!

326
00:15:54,259 --> 00:15:56,792
Gloria,I'm tying my tie!

327
00:15:56,802 --> 00:15:58,754
I'm accessorizing!

328
00:15:58,764 --> 00:16:01,817
And I thought I was the woman.

329
00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:07,763
The door.

330
00:16:07,763 --> 00:16:10,285
Ay!Estella,no! No!

331
00:16:10,295 --> 00:16:11,457
ay!No! No!

332
00:16:11,457 --> 00:16:13,769
estella, don't do it! Don't kill yourself!

333
00:16:13,779 --> 00:16:17,002
You are a perfectly fine
dog!I don't hate you!

334
00:16:17,012 --> 00:16:21,236
Estella, okay,I was a little mean to
you, but that's no reason to kill yourself!

335
00:16:21,236 --> 00:16:25,471
You are young! You still
have so much left to smell!

336
00:16:25,481 --> 00:16:28,944
Ay!I am-I go!I'm coming!

337
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:34,309
I'm-manny!Ay! Come on, estella!

338
00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:37,072
- what happened?
- Are you okay?

339
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:38,484
She did it again.

340
00:16:38,484 --> 00:16:39,775
And you jumped in to save her?

341
00:16:39,785 --> 00:16:43,419
No, jay!I wanted to take a little
swim before going to the wedding!

342
00:16:43,429 --> 00:16:46,782
Get her a towel she's
shaking like a leaf.

343
00:16:52,087 --> 00:16:55,791
- Oh,no, no,I meant I meant
- Thank you, jay.

344
00:16:55,791 --> 00:17:00,205
The dog towel for me. For the wife.

345
00:17:03,809 --> 00:17:06,201
- hi!
- Hey,guys, hi.

346
00:17:06,211 --> 00:17:08,694
- Hi.
- Hey, what's shakin'? What's cooking?

347
00:17:08,704 --> 00:17:09,815
You saw the debate, didn't you?

348
00:17:09,825 --> 00:17:10,746
- The de-what?No, that
wasn't- That was today?

349
00:17:10,756 --> 00:17:13,819
No,no. Was that on
today?Oh,I didn't remember.

350
00:17:13,829 --> 00:17:15,691
You are the worst liars.

351
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,773
It was phenomenal television.

352
00:17:17,783 --> 00:17:21,497
Oh,lily. What a... Dress.

353
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:25,461
Oh,well, you ain't seen nothing yet.

354
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,484
How about there... We go.

355
00:17:28,484 --> 00:17:29,334
Yikes.

356
00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:30,756
She looks like a lite brite.

357
00:17:30,756 --> 00:17:32,097
Luke, honey.

358
00:17:32,097 --> 00:17:34,750
Lily,sweetie, are you
excited to be a flower girl?

359
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:39,144
Yeah? Little bit nervous? Yeah?

360
00:17:39,154 --> 00:17:41,507
Why isn't she talking to
me?Did she see the debate, too?

361
00:17:41,517 --> 00:17:43,659
Nope, she's on verbal lockdown.

362
00:17:43,669 --> 00:17:46,432
- She's been dropping a certain curse word all day.
- Yeah.

363
00:17:46,442 --> 00:17:49,385
Yeah, so we're just hoping the next
one doesn't happen during the wedding.

364
00:17:49,385 --> 00:17:53,078
If it does, it'll be the second most
embarrassing thing to happen to our family today.

365
00:17:53,078 --> 00:17:54,600
Phil, you said it wasn't that bad.

366
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,592
That was in the
car. We're in a church now.

367
00:17:56,592 --> 00:17:58,343
Honey...

368
00:17:58,353 --> 00:18:00,646
Somebody turn her off.I
think I'm having a seizure.

369
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,449
- Oh, buddy.
- Yeah.

370
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,312
Oh, good.I thought that we
were going to miss lily.

371
00:18:07,322 --> 00:18:09,034
Ships at sea wouldn't miss lily.

372
00:18:09,034 --> 00:18:10,195
Where have you guys been?

373
00:18:10,195 --> 00:18:14,339
- I had to jump in the pool to save the stupid dog...
- Who she loves.

374
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,643
That I didn't let her down
doesn't mean that I love her.

375
00:18:17,653 --> 00:18:21,657
I barely got manny back in the
pool after that possum incident.

376
00:18:21,657 --> 00:18:25,140
I thought it drowned, but turns
out it was just playing possum.

377
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,443
Yes, papi.

378
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:40,065
Good job!

379
00:18:48,584 --> 00:18:50,696
You know what the
worst part of today was?

380
00:18:50,706 --> 00:18:52,277
I imagine it's hard to choose.

381
00:18:52,287 --> 00:18:57,793
When everything was melting down,I realized I
had an answer your question, why I was running.

382
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,787
I wanted to make my family
proud, and I did the exact opposite.

383
00:19:01,797 --> 00:19:04,980
- no.
- No,I did.I totally embarrassed you.

384
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:07,713
- No.
- No, dad embarrassed me.

385
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,445
I was proud of you.

386
00:19:09,445 --> 00:19:11,607
I think it's cool you're
running for local office.

387
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:15,991
I mean, it's totally nerdy, and
that's kind of my thing.

388
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:19,164
Maybe it's kind of our thing.

389
00:19:27,322 --> 00:19:29,795
Some day,I'll walk you down the aisle.

390
00:19:29,805 --> 00:19:32,648
If you're not in perv jail.

391
00:19:33,919 --> 00:19:35,831
Please be seated.

392
00:19:39,084 --> 00:19:42,097
Friends,family, thank you for making...

393
00:19:42,117 --> 00:19:45,511
- Really?
- Well, you know I cry at weddings.

394
00:19:45,521 --> 00:19:46,812
Oh, no.

395
00:19:46,812 --> 00:19:48,554
- What?-
Stop-stop crying.

396
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,796
Well, just because you have ice water
in your veins, doesn't mean that-

397
00:19:50,806 --> 00:19:53,929
No.No, lily... No. Lily...

398
00:19:53,929 --> 00:19:55,561
He's fine. Daddy's fine. Daddy's not sad.

399
00:19:55,571 --> 00:19:58,093
Daddy, daddy!

400
00:20:09,485 --> 00:20:13,268
You see?I told you it was funny.

401
00:20:17,473 --> 00:20:19,585
Excuse us.

402
00:20:19,925 --> 00:20:22,207
Congratulations.

403
00:20:28,313 --> 00:20:30,996
Go on, you little motorboat!

404
00:20:31,226 --> 00:20:34,349
Ah, look at her go!

405
00:20:34,910 --> 00:20:35,981
Where's she going?

406
00:20:35,991 --> 00:20:38,624
Oh, jeez,I think she's trying to
get herself sucked into the filter.

407
00:20:38,624 --> 00:20:40,055
What'd you say to her?

408
00:20:40,065 --> 00:20:41,777
I didn't say anything!

409
00:20:41,787 --> 00:20:43,769
Wait a second.

410
00:20:43,769 --> 00:20:46,241
Jay, look.

411
00:20:46,241 --> 00:20:49,034
see? She was not trying to kill herself.

412
00:20:49,044 --> 00:20:51,867
She was just trying to
get to the squeaky wiener!

413
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,443
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
- =http://ytet. org=- proudly presents

414
00:21:07,613 --> 00:21:09,685
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
YTET- ¶¬ÃßµÄÖí

415
00:21:09,815 --> 00:21:12,468
Modern
Family Season 3 Episode 13