1 00:00:02,940 --> 00:00:05,090 Oh,I hope tad likes salmon. 2 00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:08,500 It's a bit of a risk serving fish to a first-time diner at dunphy's. 3 00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,590 Maybe I should marinate a steak for backup. 4 00:00:10,630 --> 00:00:12,510 I think someone has a man crush. 5 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:15,110 First of all,I would never date a potential client. 6 00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:16,250 That's "first of all"? 7 00:00:16,290 --> 00:00:19,030 secondly,I really need this to go well so he makes me his realtor. 8 00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:22,070 This guy's flipping properties like they're extras in a kung fu movie. 9 00:00:22,150 --> 00:00:24,080 So you're just kissing up to this guy for his money? 10 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,550 Not just. I really like him. 11 00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:29,640 He travels the world doing charity work, rock climbs, flies planes... 12 00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,510 How does he have time to do all that? 13 00:00:31,550 --> 00:00:33,450 Got divorced, and his whole life opened up. 14 00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:35,970 Guy's living the dream. 15 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,190 His dream. 16 00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:41,800 Not my dream. I'm living my dream. You're my dream. 17 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,370 You can stop. 18 00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:45,540 I so don't want to do this. 19 00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:48,550 Recently, haley got a little creative on one of her college applications 20 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:51,490 and listed herself as a "big sister." 21 00:00:51,530 --> 00:00:53,650 Technically,I am a big sister. 22 00:00:53,690 --> 00:00:57,740 She capitalized the "b" and the "s." Which makes sense,'cause it was. 23 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,520 - So claire and I suggested... - Forced. 24 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,750 That she volunteer for the organization. 25 00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:05,750 We couldn't be prouder. 26 00:01:06,050 --> 00:01:08,620 We could. Little bit. 27 00:01:08,850 --> 00:01:09,800 Hey, dad? 28 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,400 Did you accidentally leave this hilarious book of lawyer jokes in the guest room? 29 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,270 I'll tell you if you can answer the following question- 30 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:18,460 What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? 31 00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,530 I don't know. What? 32 00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:22,050 Well, one's a bottom-feeding mud-dweller. 33 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,330 - The other's a fish. - Zing! Honk! 34 00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:27,710 Okay,everyone, dinner is served! 35 00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:28,550 Let's get it! 36 00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:30,670 Our house is being fumigated, so jay and gloria invited us 37 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,320 to stay here for a few days. 38 00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:35,270 I am very excited to have 72 hours with this one. 39 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,910 We don't get to spend much time together, 40 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:42,300 - so I know that we're gonna be like, um... - Fred and ginger? 41 00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:44,390 who? 42 00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:46,800 Movie night! 43 00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:52,510 It's nosier than usual around here. 44 00:01:53,590 --> 00:01:54,510 Oh, gosh! 45 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:58,360 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- Proudly Presents 46 00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:02,670 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- É­Æo°®ÂüÄá 47 00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:05,430 Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 48 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,880 Tad, this wine is fantastic. 49 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:13,660 Spend a week in mendoza, and you'll find a dozen or so malbec producers 50 00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:16,680 that'll give most bordeaux a real run for their money. 51 00:02:17,210 --> 00:02:18,180 I'm sorry. 52 00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:21,180 This should come with a warning - "may cause pretentiousness." 53 00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:24,680 You should come with a warning - "may be fascinating." 54 00:02:26,130 --> 00:02:28,490 Oh,that's,like, the ninth time this screw has popped out. 55 00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:30,220 Oh, you know what? I need the angled screwdriver. 56 00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:31,550 I left it at the office. Mm. 57 00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:35,190 I, um,I keep it there because of-of all my signs. 58 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:38,390 I'll,uh, put up a "for sale" sign, and next day, of course, 59 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,340 I gotta put up the "sold" banner. 60 00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:43,230 Then the next day, same deal - "for sale,"sold" 61 00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:44,990 "for sale"sold"for sale"sold". 62 00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:46,210 You're a great - Great salesman. 63 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,290 - I'm getting that. - "for sale."sold." 64 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,140 Right. Listen,I-I-I gotta go relieve the babysitter. 65 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:55,080 My ex-wife took 50% of my stuff and left me 100% of my kids. 66 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,420 - They're great. - Hey,listen,um, thank you so much for coming. 67 00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:04,580 Oh,no, thank you,phil, so much for the salmon and the steak and the chicken and the shrimp. 68 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,250 Oh... I mean, it was all just delicious. 69 00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:08,270 Oh, great. This guy is very lucky to have you. 70 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,870 Okay. Thanks. 71 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,690 All right. 72 00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:17,300 Let me grab that. Yeah. 73 00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,800 Bye-bye. 74 00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:23,270 Did you see that? 75 00:03:23,310 --> 00:03:24,950 A handshake that almost became a hug? 76 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,700 Yeah,I saw it. I lived it. I think I'm in. 77 00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:29,350 No, honey. He kissed me on the lips. 78 00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:31,970 - Another good sign! - It's not a good sign. 79 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,570 Sweetie, you don't think that's weird? 80 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,070 Well, the guy's a world traveler. 81 00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:36,480 He has a time share in costa rica. 82 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,840 That's probably how they do it there. 83 00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:40,590 I don't know, honey. It felt like he lingered. 84 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,550 It's a progressive culture. 85 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,110 Most of them travel by zip line. 86 00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:48,480 Biscuits and gravy? 87 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:53,540 Yep, my grandma bitsy's secret recipe, given to her by her housekeeper delilah, 88 00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,720 who raised her and was her best friend - Kind of like "the help," 89 00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:59,860 except delilah was white, and was actually herself quite the racist. 90 00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:01,540 Eat up. 91 00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:02,970 Good morning! 92 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,420 - Hi, mom. - Hi, sweetheart. 93 00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,450 Ah, where did those come from? 94 00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:08,220 Yeah,I thought amaryllis were out of season. 95 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:11,570 Oh,I got a guy. You know,I just thought they'd brighten up the house a little bit. 96 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,170 Oh, that was so thoughtful of you. 97 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,210 I didn't realize that my house needed brightening up. 98 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,620 There she is! 99 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,300 Gloria! Gloria! 100 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:22,250 Let me fix your hair! 101 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,560 oh. Well, isn't that sweet? 102 00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:28,440 I didn't realize her hair was broken. 103 00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:32,310 That smells delicious, but nothing for me. I've got an early work lunch. 104 00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:34,040 Really? I didn't hear an ambulance. 105 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,160 Yeah, it's funny because it's what I've dedicated my life to. 106 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,580 Oh, is this that meeting with the deejay with the funny name? 107 00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:41,970 - Booker bell. - Booker bell. 108 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,780 - Booker bell? - everybody now! 109 00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:47,520 Booker bell was only the greatest deejay in the history of drive time radio. 110 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,680 Yeah,well, now he has some wetlands that developers want, 111 00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:51,680 and we're trying to get him to donate for preservation. 112 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,100 When I was on the road selling,I used to listen to booker all the time. 113 00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:56,310 He practically invented the prank phone call. 114 00:04:56,350 --> 00:04:58,590 Okay. Wish me luck. 115 00:04:58,630 --> 00:04:59,650 Good luck, sweetie! 116 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:02,600 Booker would play a prank, the sucker would be twisting in the wind, 117 00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:07,290 and just when you couldn't stand it anymore, he'd say,"guess who just got their bell rung!" 118 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,510 god,I'd love to meet him. 119 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:10,100 Oh, they're just going down to rae's. 120 00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:12,500 You should pop down. I'm sure he'd love to meet a fan. 121 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:15,170 I don't know. I met boz scaggs once, got all tongue-tied. 122 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:16,270 Oh, you'll be fine. 123 00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:18,400 Oh! Oh,lily, it's time for school, sweetie. 124 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,930 Oh,I can take her. 125 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:23,590 Oh. That'd be great. 126 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,160 Yeah, it'd give me some more time to clean the kitchen. 127 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,750 Maybe do a little dusting. 128 00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:30,690 Delicious, cam. 129 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:37,690 Annie was amazing, so funny and cute and sweet. 130 00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:40,440 - Yeah, you've said. - She made this for me last night. 131 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,830 Look how she signs her name with that big loopy "a." 132 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,310 I'm totally going to frame this. 133 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,000 I made this for haley four years ago. 134 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:51,970 You think this got framed? 135 00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:55,500 She tossed it in the garbage... Right after she wrote 136 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:59,280 "mrs. Haley jonas brothers" on it, like,30 times. 137 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:01,970 The tax write-off alone makes financial sense. 138 00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:03,820 You know, even if you take the environment out of it. 139 00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:05,280 Well, don't take the environment out of it. 140 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:07,130 Without the wetlands, there's no ducks, 141 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:08,790 and without the ducks, there's nothing for me to shoot at. 142 00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,880 Okay. Well, we're shooting from two different angles, 143 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,940 but,uh,hopefully, we'll end up at the same place. 144 00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:15,520 - Mitch. - dad? 145 00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:18,460 I just had to stop down and meet this guy. 146 00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:22,990 Booker bell,I'm boz scaggs - No! I mean jay pritchett. Damn it. 147 00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:24,830 - It's nice to meet you. - This is such an honor. 148 00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:27,730 You are hands down my favorite radio personality of all time. 149 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:30,240 - That's kind of you to say. - Okay. Well, thanks for stopping by, dad. 150 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,570 You know,I gotta tell you one thing. 151 00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:32,660 I'll see you back at the-I'll see you back at the house. 152 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:35,350 One time when I was driving from youngstown to sugar creek, 153 00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:38,000 you called this guy at a kitty litter company and you asked him 154 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,650 to bring over 900 pounds of litter, and in the background, 155 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,650 you hear all these lions roaring, and... 156 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:50,070 I - I laughed so hard,I almost had an accident. 157 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,980 The car or you? 158 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:54,290 - Funny as ever! - Anyway... 159 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,380 Hey, are you still in touch... With the old gang? 160 00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:58,470 Grandma groovy? Spaceman clyde? 161 00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:00,810 - Are you kidding? I am the old gang. - No way. 162 00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:03,360 I may be old, but I still know how to boogie. 163 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,340 My god, it's like she's here! 164 00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:06,700 She is here! 165 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,190 how are you still not getting this? 166 00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:09,440 That's her. 167 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,420 Excuse me for a sec. 168 00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:13,780 What are you doing? 169 00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:15,900 What? I'm a fan. I came down to say hi. 170 00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:17,140 This is a business meeting. 171 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,630 Do you have any idea how inappropriate this is? 172 00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,840 No. No, of course you don't, because as far as you're concerned, 173 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,530 all a lawyer does is walk into a bar with a rabbi and a polar bear. 174 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:30,290 - Grizzly,'cause otherwise, when the bartender... - Dad! I'm working! 175 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,610 You're embarrassing both of us! 176 00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:33,200 Please, you gotta go! 177 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,520 All right. I didn't realize that. 178 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,140 Yeah. Yeah. You didn't. 179 00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:38,040 I'm sorry. Go. 180 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:41,840 Hey. Where's my stalker? 181 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,000 Oh, he's gone. I got rid of him. 182 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,690 Sorry that he attacked you like that. 183 00:07:45,730 --> 00:07:47,130 Attacked? No. 184 00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:48,830 I don't mind a little smoke up my bloomers. 185 00:07:48,870 --> 00:07:51,400 Well,I just thought since this was a business meeting, we should - 186 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:55,240 and you thought maybe having somebody make me feel good would wreck it? 187 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,710 There's-there's been a lot of tension between me and my dad. 188 00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,060 I'm actually staying at his house. 189 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:02,620 - And it's just... - Oh, so you chased away a man who's opened his home to you? 190 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,850 I get the sense that I'm losing you. 191 00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:07,610 Could I talk to grandma groovy? 192 00:08:07,650 --> 00:08:08,950 Honey,I'm home! 193 00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:10,990 Well,I didn't expect you so early, dear. 194 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,090 What? You? 195 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,450 yeah. Look who came by to fix the table. 196 00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:16,720 Well,I had some time to kill, 197 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,760 so I thought I'd drop by with that tool your wife needed. 198 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,320 What a guy. Yeah. 199 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:22,660 He also brought some wine. 200 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,090 Well, you said you liked it last night, 201 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,510 so I had a couple extra bottles lying around. 202 00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:28,560 Boy, do you know the way to this gal's heart. 203 00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:32,200 I didn't just come here to fix your table and get your wife drunk. 204 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,620 I actually decided to give you that listing on the sycamore property. 205 00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:37,630 Really? That's great. 206 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,950 Yeah. Why don't you,uh, come over for dinner tonight? 207 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:42,780 And,uh, we'll work out all the details. One entree. 208 00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:44,130 Okay. Claire, you should come, too. 209 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,210 - Oh,no, no. No,no, if it's business... - I insist. 210 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,780 He insists. We'll be there. We're coming. 211 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,230 Yeah, shall we say, uh,7:00? 212 00:08:49,270 --> 00:08:50,880 - 7:00 sounds great. - Okay. 213 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,570 All right. 214 00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,400 - I'll let myself out. - Okay. 215 00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:01,340 - Wow. - "wow" is right. 216 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:06,140 I just got sycamore - A house that sells itself and gives me the commission. 217 00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:08,130 How does that not bother you? 218 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,500 Claire, it's an expression. 219 00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:11,700 There's work. Inspections, appraisals- 220 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:15,250 He brought me wine, he took his shirt off when you weren't here! 221 00:09:15,290 --> 00:09:18,060 Um, he brought us wine, and it doesn't look super vacuumed down there. 222 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,530 I'm surprised he kept his pants on. 223 00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:21,140 Okay. Okay,I can see what's going on. 224 00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,520 You-you're just so focused on getting his business, 225 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,380 that you don't see what's going on in front of you. 226 00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:27,860 Okay. Now I do see what's going on. 227 00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:29,640 - What? - Come here, pretty girl. 228 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,890 - What? - You are, you know. You don't hear it enough. 229 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:37,860 The other night, when you put on makeup,I was like,"there she is. 230 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:39,130 " Oh, my god. 231 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:41,810 You think I'm making this up as some part of a-an ego boost? 232 00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:44,880 Do you realize how insulting that is? 233 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,760 What are you doing? 234 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,070 Helping my little sister with her homework. 235 00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:52,190 That seems... Mean. 236 00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:53,660 Annie, this is alex. 237 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,510 That other sister I was telling you about. 238 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,900 Hi. So nice to meet you. 239 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:03,310 Um, if you're going to study there, you might need to correct numbers 7 through 10. 240 00:10:03,350 --> 00:10:06,210 This bed has higher standards than that bed. 241 00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:09,270 I'm going to get some more lemonade. 242 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,180 I think your sister's mad at our sister. 243 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:21,080 We're back! 244 00:10:21,110 --> 00:10:21,990 Oh,well, there you are. 245 00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:24,190 I guess "lunch then home" means different things to different people. 246 00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,820 We had a girls' day. Lily,lily, come! 247 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,980 Show your papa what we bought! 248 00:10:29,050 --> 00:10:30,700 Matchy jackets! 249 00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:33,480 It's like she's the baby leopard, and I'm the mama. 250 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,900 Or they just happened to have two jackets, one large, one small. 251 00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:39,030 What happened here? Where is my tea? 252 00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:40,640 Oh, it's in this drawer over here. 253 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:45,280 As a thank-you,I took some time to rearrange your kitchen so it makes sense. 254 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,450 - To who? - To everyone. 255 00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:52,000 There's a flow now. Watch - Tea. Mug. Kettle. You're welcome. 256 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,960 I didn't thank you. 257 00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:56,830 - You don't have to. - I won't. 258 00:11:08,030 --> 00:11:12,310 Cam, our shared bathroom is not the place to work out whatever's going on here. 259 00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:13,830 I'm a child of divorce. 260 00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:16,330 Conflict resolution is something of a specialty. 261 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:20,050 The key is, tell a personal story that applies to their situation, 262 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,590 even if you have to make one up. 263 00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:24,060 That way, they really hear what they need to hear. 264 00:11:25,570 --> 00:11:27,330 I'm sorry. You're right. 265 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:30,060 No. I'm sorry I snapped. 266 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,560 I'm just going through some stuff with this girl I like, danielle. 267 00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:36,320 She came over the other day, and stella was all over her, 268 00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:38,700 and-and I got jealous. Which is crazy, right? 269 00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:42,090 I mean, stella was only playing with her because she was new. 270 00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:46,330 Manny, sounds like danielle was trying to get between you and your puppy, 271 00:11:46,370 --> 00:11:47,630 and that ain't cool. 272 00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:50,830 She seems immature, and you can do better. 273 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:54,660 I'm sorry to be blunt, but I'm going through something myself right now. 274 00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:56,860 So, chin up. Okay. 275 00:11:56,890 --> 00:12:00,450 It may not work every time, but you only need one fish to bite. 276 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,920 Who is this danielle? 277 00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:05,090 She's my study partner in my history class, and we share a notebook. 278 00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:07,740 But her notes were really confusing, so I put them in order. 279 00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:10,150 Instead of thanking me for making our lives easier, 280 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:13,180 she got all mad because she thought I was judging her. 281 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,530 This girl is very bad news, manny. 282 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,180 You stay away from her. 283 00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:25,190 We're phil and claire. 284 00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:27,010 Hey,I'm tony. Come on in. I'll go get my dad. 285 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,970 - Okay. - Great, thanks. 286 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,230 I don't like the way that kid was looking at you. 287 00:12:31,270 --> 00:12:32,380 We are not friends right now. 288 00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,600 I am only here to help pump up the college fund. 289 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,160 Claire, if tad even makes a move towards you, his ass is... Grass. 290 00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,380 Really? I thought that was just my ego. 291 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:43,330 So far,yeah, but just know,I'm ready to grass his ass. 292 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,610 Hey! How are you! 293 00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:47,340 Good. Good to see you. 294 00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:49,680 Yeah. Hi. That's good. 295 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,550 Well,I love the place. Did you remodel this? 296 00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:52,660 Uh,actually, my ex-wife. 297 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:57,600 She had a,uh, passion for modern architecture and at least one modern architect. 298 00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,630 May have to sell this one next. 299 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:00,860 Really? Wow. 300 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:01,950 I love how open it is. 301 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,050 - Do you mind if I,uh, poke around? - Please, yeah. 302 00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:06,420 Tad, if you don't need my help anymore with the kids, 303 00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:08,940 - I'll be going. - Thank you so much, ellen. 304 00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:09,880 Okay. We'll see you later. Bye. 305 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,250 I saw this house eight years ago. 306 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,830 There used to be a wall here, right? 307 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,730 Uh, that's right. That's right. That was all covered. 308 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,970 Yeah. I'm a detail guy. Hard to get much past me. 309 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:20,340 - Hello, hello! - How are you? 310 00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,610 Good,tad, how you doing? 311 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:22,780 - Bye, daddy. - Bye, sweetie. 312 00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:24,620 - Bye, dad. - Have fun. 313 00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,920 - Okay. See you later. - Come on,guys, let's go. Bye. 314 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,980 These stairs used to be teak, am I right? 315 00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:31,950 This guy's good. 316 00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:33,520 Yeah, he's good. 317 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,630 - He's sharp. - I forgot my bag. 318 00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:37,680 You do that every time. 319 00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:42,100 I don't miss much. 320 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,600 Oh,I'm sorry. Were you trying to read? 321 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,250 You're the one who tries to read. 322 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,850 Oh, my gosh! I am not that stupid! 323 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,820 Seriously,haley, you think you are the coolest person ever! 324 00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:56,970 Would you please stop just judging me and everything that I do? 325 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,800 enough! Enough! 326 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,310 I am so sick of you two fighting all the time! 327 00:14:01,350 --> 00:14:04,780 You're a bad big sister, and you're a bad little sister! 328 00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:07,830 And you're both bad big sisters to me. 329 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:10,150 Be normaler. 330 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,650 I've never seen him like that. 331 00:14:17,830 --> 00:14:20,420 Well, we do kind of neglect him. 332 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:25,560 And if you think about it, he is kind of... Our little sister. 333 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,450 Remember how we used to dress him up? 334 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,780 I miss her. 335 00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:32,460 I hear you, and I don't like where this is going! 336 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:35,350 You get the lipstick,I'll get the bra and tennis balls. 337 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,390 Betty luke! 338 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:39,480 I will burn this house down! 339 00:15:00,370 --> 00:15:02,460 Where is the cheese grater? 340 00:15:06,430 --> 00:15:08,560 Where is the cutting board? 341 00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:10,730 Where would you want it to be? 342 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,590 Yes, right here next to the cheese grater. 343 00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:21,410 I know it's hard to tell by looking at me, but I am not a natural homemaker. 344 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:27,470 So when cam came and organized my kitchen,I felt insecure and lashed out. 345 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:31,490 In a way,I'm no better than manny's crazy friend danielle. 346 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,410 Please, can we just focus on the cooking? 347 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:41,670 Daddy, we forgot to give you this. 348 00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,620 It's like our jackets. 349 00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:48,940 I love it. 350 00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:53,830 I guess I've always been a little sensitive about lily not having a mother, 351 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,890 and gloria's so good at it. 352 00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:58,060 I got jealous. 353 00:15:58,130 --> 00:16:00,290 Maybe I should tell manny this story. 354 00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:02,860 It might help him with that train wreck danielle. 355 00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,400 You know what? Why don't you turn that music back on. 356 00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:07,180 Was kind of nice. 357 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,730 - hey, dad... - No need to talk about it. 358 00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:36,970 I was out of line coming down there, won't happen again. Scotch is at the bar. 359 00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:38,560 No,I've been giving this a lot of thought. 360 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,750 I guess we're gonna talk about it. 361 00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,450 I was rude to you. 362 00:16:41,490 --> 00:16:43,500 I think I was just annoyed by all the lawyer jokes. 363 00:16:43,530 --> 00:16:47,870 I mean, let's be honest, you don't exactly beam with pride over what I do for a living. 364 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:50,270 Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery. 365 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,670 Pretty sure that's - That's not the saying, 366 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:55,450 but,um, you know, manny told me a story about his friend danielle. 367 00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:57,950 She sounds like a real piece of work, by the way. 368 00:16:58,030 --> 00:17:02,200 But,uh, it made me realize that I take myself a little too seriously. 369 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,780 Listen, it goes without saying I've always been proud of you, 370 00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:08,100 and I brag about you all the time. 371 00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:11,110 So if I say,"what do lawyers use as birth control?" 372 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,200 and the answer is,"their personalities," 373 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,920 I want you to know I'm not referring to you. 374 00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,800 You don't need any birth control. 375 00:17:21,590 --> 00:17:23,090 Hello? 376 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,530 Yeah, this is jay pritchett. 377 00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:26,930 What? When? 378 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,570 - What happened? - It's the police. My car got stolen. 379 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,840 Yeah,2012. Gray. 380 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,810 No, not pewter. More like a light... Like a-no, not slate. 381 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,170 I don't even know what "coastal fog" is. 382 00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:42,450 Just put down "gray." Kilo? 383 00:17:42,490 --> 00:17:45,050 It's not my car. Yes, she's columbian. 384 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,960 What does that have to do with-no,I'm coming down there. 385 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,920 Hang on. Grab your keys. 386 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:50,900 I think I might need a lawyer. 387 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,030 Guess who just got his bell rung? 388 00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:03,580 That's good. 389 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,440 Here we go. Have a seat. 390 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,450 I got a bottle of port from 1899. 391 00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:13,440 Okay,I got it for $18.99... But it's a good one. 392 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,560 Fun night, right? Great dinner? 393 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:25,720 Yes. Yes, and... Tad is... Great, and I know I was giving you a hard time... 394 00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,120 But I feel like I should say that I am sorry. 395 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,130 Hey,hey,hey,claire, you don't need to explain. 396 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,290 Your apology is apology enough. 397 00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:34,670 Oh,I forgot the best part of the costa rica story. 398 00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:38,520 So we get home, and they've taken over the living room, 399 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:42,090 they've taken over the kitchen,I mean, they're in the food, they're on the bed. 400 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,960 And finally, after two years of complaining to diego about this, 401 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:50,390 he finally stops and says,"okay, now I see it. 402 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,600 You do have a monkey problem." 403 00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,190 a monkey problem! 404 00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:01,130 Yeah,I heard him the first time. 405 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,590 You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, 406 00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:06,300 but you cannot make her laugh. 407 00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:09,700 I wanna go back. 408 00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:14,130 You can kiss my wife, but only I can take her to bed and make her laugh. 409 00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:16,780 I wanna go back. 410 00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:24,560 Only I can take my wife to bed,comma, and make her laugh. 411 00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:27,530 I mean, they're in everything. 412 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,720 The only thing they didn't touch - The bananas. 413 00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:34,740 The monkeys love bananas! 414 00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:36,700 You would think they would love the bananas. 415 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:37,990 Yeah, we should go. 416 00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:39,920 - Come on. The bananas... - Yeah, we need to go. 417 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,030 - We gotta get going. - Oh,no,no, no. 418 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:42,480 - Yeah,yeah, we're late. - But he just opened the... 419 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,400 - We're late for getting home. - Thanks for everything. Just... 420 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,300 Oh. Okay. Okay. 421 00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,600 What is wrong with you? 422 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,980 - You laughed like it was "who's on first?" - what? 423 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,990 He's on second. Don't try to cheer me up. 424 00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:54,510 I know what's going on here. You're jealous. 425 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,960 Of him? 426 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,540 He's not even funny! 427 00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,430 What's he got? Like,a soft ten minutes? 428 00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:02,370 And he goes to the costa rican well a little too much for my taste. 429 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,490 Oh, god. 430 00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:05,850 Really? This is still about the monkey? 431 00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,130 No! No,no, no! 432 00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:10,190 It's you. You are making me so happy right now. 433 00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:13,310 You stormed out of there, and you're acting like an idiot. 434 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:16,390 You like this? Because I am really uncomfortable. 435 00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:19,490 Honey,I love it. Makes me feel special. 436 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,970 Sometimes,I really don't understand you. 437 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:26,510 I know. It's stupid, but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll fight for me, 438 00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:30,010 and all I have to do is laugh at some other guy's story. 439 00:20:30,090 --> 00:20:33,160 But no one makes me laugh like you do. 440 00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:35,810 As long as it's always genuine. 441 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:38,710 You can fake anything you want with me, but not your laugh. 442 00:20:39,510 --> 00:20:41,090 - I'd like to go back. - Yeah. 443 00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:46,370 Stop it! Leave me alone! 444 00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:48,500 - Ugh! Hold still! - Stop moving! 445 00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:50,020 I hate you! Get off of me! 446 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,390 What... Is going on? 447 00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:55,360 You guys in a lot of trouble. 448 00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:57,090 Haley,I told you to clean this mess up, 449 00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,140 and Alex, your books are everywhere. 450 00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:01,760 Betty Luke, sit down while your dad gets the camera. 451 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,200 Got it. 452 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,540 Last time we made a funny face and we didn't get a really good shot. 453 00:21:06,570 --> 00:21:08,160 Lets work on our smile. 454 00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:09,560 Okay. 455 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,250 Good to see you Betty Luke. 456 00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:13,370 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- Proudly Presents 457 00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:16,450 - =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=- - =http://ytet. org=- É­Æo°®ÂüÄá 458 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,790 Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14