1
00:00:03,443 --> 00:00:05,515
Ooh! Individual frittatas!

2
00:00:05,516 --> 00:00:07,439
What a treat.
You're a lucky man, Phil.

3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:08,881
- I'm always saying, I'm...
- Phil.

4
00:00:08,882 --> 00:00:10,711
- Sorry.
- You left the milk out again.

5
00:00:10,712 --> 00:00:11,588
Oh. Mmm.

6
00:00:11,588 --> 00:00:13,340
I may have to take
one of these little guys home.

7
00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:15,092
Claire, did you ever find
that tupperware I lent you?

8
00:00:15,092 --> 00:00:17,219
Sweetie, for the hundredth time,

9
00:00:17,219 --> 00:00:18,971
I gave it back to you, remember?

10
00:00:18,971 --> 00:00:20,389
I remember you
telling me a hundred times,

11
00:00:20,389 --> 00:00:22,558
yet my pea soup is in baggies.

12
00:00:22,558 --> 00:00:24,100
Did you check your car?

13
00:00:24,101 --> 00:00:25,768
- In the...
- Trunk.

14
00:00:25,769 --> 00:00:27,186
Because that's where
you found that thing

15
00:00:27,187 --> 00:00:29,272
that you thought that
you gave me long time ago,

16
00:00:29,273 --> 00:00:31,041
- the... the...
- Pizza cutter.

17
00:00:31,042 --> 00:00:32,108
Good, give me another one.

18
00:00:32,109 --> 00:00:34,777
- Yes, I was wrong that time. I—
- It's a piece of plastic.

19
00:00:34,778 --> 00:00:35,987
You're ruining brunch.

20
00:00:35,988 --> 00:00:38,365
Don't sweat it, Cam.
I forget things all the time.

21
00:00:38,365 --> 00:00:40,408
Like I can never
remember the name

22
00:00:40,409 --> 00:00:42,706
of that weather guy
that I liked. Uh...

23
00:00:42,707 --> 00:00:44,551
- Thunder something.
- Stormy...

24
00:00:44,552 --> 00:00:46,554
Flash Stormy?
Ah, whatever the hell it is.

25
00:00:46,555 --> 00:00:48,592
- I don't know.
- Mm, just eat your eggs, Jay.

26
00:00:48,593 --> 00:00:50,953
Yeah, just eat your eggs, Jay.

27
00:00:50,954 --> 00:00:55,233
- Oh, ho ho ho!
- Grandpa got told!

28
00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:58,909
Look at them.
They all think Lily's so great.

29
00:00:58,910 --> 00:01:00,327
The novelty will wear off.

30
00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,079
We used to be the cute ones.

31
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,123
Now she gets all the attention.

32
00:01:04,124 --> 00:01:05,833
We need to take her down.

33
00:01:05,834 --> 00:01:07,376
And I should remember his name, too,

34
00:01:07,377 --> 00:01:10,004
because your mom and I
got in a big fight over him.

35
00:01:10,005 --> 00:01:12,143
She was using the convertible,
and I told her,

36
00:01:12,144 --> 00:01:17,430
"Put the top up because it's supposed
to rain tonight, according to..."

37
00:01:17,431 --> 00:01:21,251
P-p-p-partly Mccloudy?
Whatever the hell his name is. Anyway...

38
00:01:21,252 --> 00:01:23,082
She didn't.
Ruined the car.

39
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,126
Well, not to be the one that
always come to mom's defense...

40
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,016
What? It was 20 years ago.

41
00:01:28,017 --> 00:01:30,363
- What, you think he's gonna ground you?
- It was you?

42
00:01:30,364 --> 00:01:34,198
Yes. Yes, I left the top down,
and I let mom take the fall.

43
00:01:34,199 --> 00:01:35,509
And then they got divorced.

44
00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:37,010
- 12 years later.
- I'm just saying.

45
00:01:37,011 --> 00:01:38,178
Ugh. You're ruining brunch.

46
00:01:38,179 --> 00:01:39,680
Relax. It was years ago.

47
00:01:39,681 --> 00:01:41,682
There's a statute of limitation
on this stuff.

48
00:01:41,683 --> 00:01:43,309
In that case, I should
probably let you know

49
00:01:43,309 --> 00:01:46,563
I let the top down
to let out the cigarette smoke.

50
00:01:47,227 --> 00:01:50,020
Not— not mine. Not mine.
My— my bad friend Eleanor.

51
00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:51,730
Eleanor being her boyfriend Allen.

52
00:01:51,731 --> 00:01:52,898
Statute of limitations.

53
00:01:52,899 --> 00:01:54,442
Oh, relax, it's okay.

54
00:01:54,443 --> 00:01:55,860
Remember when I told you

55
00:01:55,861 --> 00:01:58,195
that I couldn't get to
your figure skating semifinal

56
00:01:58,196 --> 00:01:59,321
because I was stuck at work?

57
00:01:59,322 --> 00:01:59,864
Yeah.

58
00:01:59,865 --> 00:02:04,702
Well, by "stuck" I meant "drunk,"
and by "work" I meant "the golf course."

59
00:02:04,453 --> 00:02:06,872
- Wow. Dad!
- Oh, no. I got one. I got one.

60
00:02:07,539 --> 00:02:09,082
Remember that time
we went golfing together,

61
00:02:09,082 --> 00:02:10,959
- and you got a hole-in-one?
- Yeah?

62
00:02:10,959 --> 00:02:12,502
You never got a hole-in-one.

63
00:02:12,544 --> 00:02:14,504
I got bored and
I kicked it in the hole.

64
00:02:16,548 --> 00:02:18,216
This is fun. Here's a corker.

65
00:02:18,217 --> 00:02:20,885
They didn't used to label babies
as carefully in hospitals,

66
00:02:20,886 --> 00:02:22,637
- so for two days—
- Not now, Phil.

67
00:02:22,638 --> 00:02:24,180
What do you mean, you—
you kicked the ball in the hole?

68
00:02:24,181 --> 00:02:25,240
What, was it, like, on the edge?

69
00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:28,057
Yeah, it was on the edge of that, uh...
That—that sandy thing.

70
00:02:28,058 --> 00:02:30,478
Gee, it's sure gonna be fun
to face my friends today.

71
00:02:30,479 --> 00:02:31,491
Well, you don't have to tell them.

72
00:02:31,492 --> 00:02:33,301
They call me "ace," Mitch.

73
00:02:33,302 --> 00:02:36,710
I haven't paid for a lemonade
down there in 20 years.

74
00:02:36,711 --> 00:02:38,278
- You're mad at me?
- Mm.

75
00:02:39,101 --> 00:02:41,990
Great, daddy.
You ruined brunch.

76
00:02:44,173 --> 00:02:45,494
You did!

77
00:02:45,570 --> 00:02:47,663
This ends today.

78
00:03:01,853 --> 00:03:03,020
A little help here?

79
00:03:03,021 --> 00:03:04,271
You can't expect me to focus

80
00:03:04,272 --> 00:03:06,774
when Miranda Cornell lives
right down your street.

81
00:03:06,775 --> 00:03:09,735
She's like a dream wrapped
in a wish poured into jeggings.

82
00:03:09,736 --> 00:03:13,614
Yeah, yeah, that's nice and all,
but we got a trap to set.

83
00:03:13,615 --> 00:03:14,897
Are you sure
this is going to work?

84
00:03:14,898 --> 00:03:17,544
Trust me.
We'll use these cookies as bait.

85
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,370
Lily's crazy for them.

86
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:20,611
Asian metabolism.

87
00:03:20,612 --> 00:03:23,156
When she grabs them
with her grubby little hands,

88
00:03:23,157 --> 00:03:24,699
off goes the trap.

89
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,993
Boom— Big puddle of milk.

90
00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:28,536
She'll get in so much trouble.

91
00:03:28,537 --> 00:03:29,996
My mom hates messes.

92
00:03:29,997 --> 00:03:31,457
I'm familiar with Claire.

93
00:03:31,974 --> 00:03:32,892
Lock...

94
00:03:32,892 --> 00:03:35,144
and loaded.

95
00:03:35,853 --> 00:03:39,022
Mmm! These cookies are so good...

96
00:03:39,023 --> 00:03:41,590
And so easy to reach.

97
00:03:41,591 --> 00:03:43,319
Lily!

98
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,686
- Oh, my God! Cam!
- Oh! Ohh!

99
00:03:57,687 --> 00:03:59,523
What happened? Are you okay?

100
00:04:00,315 --> 00:04:03,401
Oh! That milk... fell,
and I must have slipped in it!

101
00:04:03,402 --> 00:04:05,694
Did I leave that out again?
I'm so sorry!

102
00:04:05,695 --> 00:04:07,655
Oh! My back! Ooh! My back!

103
00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:11,117
Can I give you a Swedish massage,
accent optional?

104
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:12,449
Oh! Oh, no,
I just need to lie down.

105
00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:14,913
Come on. Let's just
get you over to the sofa.

106
00:04:16,011 --> 00:04:17,132
Do you think it would be offensive

107
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:18,763
if I asked our daughter
to walk on my back?

108
00:04:18,764 --> 00:04:22,141
I'd say so. I just offered
to give you a massage.

109
00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:27,269
Oh, no! You broke Beatrice.
Now she can't feed the dolphins.

110
00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:28,518
What is she talking about?

111
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,145
Oh, it's a "My sweet companion" doll.

112
00:04:30,146 --> 00:04:31,980
They all have
these elaborate backstories.

113
00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:35,066
Beatrice works with
blind dolphins and models.

114
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,068
There are blind models?

115
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:41,028
That's so sad.
They cannot see how pretty they are.

116
00:04:42,441 --> 00:04:43,983
Okay. Hold on. Here we go.

117
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,570
- Give me some. Give me some. Give me some.
- Oh!

118
00:04:47,571 --> 00:04:50,573
Let me buy Lily a new doll.
It's my fault Cam fell.

119
00:04:50,574 --> 00:04:52,700
No, no need.
Uh, the My sweet companion store

120
00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:54,910
actually has a hospital
with an on-call doctor.

121
00:04:54,911 --> 00:04:56,954
Well, I can go. I'm taking the girls
to the mall anyway.

122
00:04:56,955 --> 00:04:58,205
Oh, that'd be great. Yeah.

123
00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:59,707
And don't worry.
She has medical insurance.

124
00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:01,917
Yeah, and I think we've met
our deductible for the year,

125
00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:03,127
so you should be good.

126
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:03,836
Yeah.

127
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,880
Do you know what
a doll is in my village?

128
00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:08,777
An apple on a fork.

129
00:05:10,886 --> 00:05:13,804
I never really got dolls.
Does that make me weird?

130
00:05:13,805 --> 00:05:14,805
It's on the list.

131
00:05:14,806 --> 00:05:15,681
You're not weird.

132
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,975
You just kind of skipped
the little girl stage.

133
00:05:17,976 --> 00:05:20,853
And jumped to the "I dare you
to ring her doorbell" stage.

134
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,439
The only stage you're ever going
to jump on has a pole on it.

135
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:24,899
Hey, at least I have the body—

136
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,066
Okay! Okay!

137
00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:28,652
We're gonna have to settle
this dispute in court—

138
00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:30,070
the food court.

139
00:05:30,071 --> 00:05:32,740
The honorable Judge Cinnabon presiding.

140
00:05:32,741 --> 00:05:34,158
The food court? That place smells

141
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,118
like the inside
of Luke's bicycle helmet.

142
00:05:36,119 --> 00:05:38,204
- I like the food court.
- Me, too.

143
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,414
Don't worry, girls.
We're not gonna deprive ourselves

144
00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:42,847
just 'cause of Haley's
aversion to food—

145
00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:46,779
Oh. Oh, Haley's "aversion."

146
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,240
I thought you said...

147
00:05:49,241 --> 00:05:51,040
Never mind.

148
00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:00,527
Okay, so after you have
turned on the monitor

149
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,111
and selected your input,

150
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,322
you can change the channel
with this guy.

151
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:06,825
But if you need to change the volume—

152
00:06:06,826 --> 00:06:07,992
You know what? I think I'm fine.

153
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,118
Why don't you just go ahead?

154
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,411
I know this sounds
really confusing,

155
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,914
but there's actually a very
simple way to remember it.

156
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,625
Input 1 is the cable box

157
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,794
- cable box, ca—
- I think I'm just gonna take a nap.

158
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,587
Okay. I'm going to yoga.

159
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,090
Ay! That sounds like so much fun.

160
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:23,633
Oh, you should go with her, Gloria!

161
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,176
Oh, we should definitely
do that sometime.

162
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,736
I would love it. Bye!

163
00:06:27,205 --> 00:06:30,123
Do you see how she gives me
the cold shoulders?

164
00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:31,875
I don't even know why I try.

165
00:06:31,876 --> 00:06:34,044
- Ay. Sorry.
- Oh, well, that's just Claire, you know?

166
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,754
She's a Pritchett.

167
00:06:35,755 --> 00:06:37,339
You gotta break through those walls.

168
00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:38,507
The sooner the better.

169
00:06:38,508 --> 00:06:39,591
You really think so?

170
00:06:39,592 --> 00:06:41,760
Yeah. Why don't you go? Now.

171
00:06:41,761 --> 00:06:43,178
Forge that friendship!

172
00:06:43,179 --> 00:06:46,139
Okay, I go. I have
my gym bag in the car.

173
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:47,307
Feel better!

174
00:06:47,308 --> 00:06:50,519
Okay, thank you!
I'm just gonna lie here...

175
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,501
Some ice on my back!

176
00:07:00,663 --> 00:07:03,165
I knew for a fact Claire
never returned my tupperware,

177
00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:05,542
I just needed a few minutes
alone to find it.

178
00:07:05,543 --> 00:07:06,835
And when I did,

179
00:07:06,836 --> 00:07:09,045
I'd never have
to hear them snicker again,

180
00:07:09,046 --> 00:07:11,673
"Oh, silly Cam" or "forgetful Cam,"

181
00:07:11,674 --> 00:07:14,968
because revenge
is a dish best served cold.

182
00:07:14,969 --> 00:07:16,595
And even better, two days later

183
00:07:16,596 --> 00:07:18,513
out of 24-ounce microwave-friendly

184
00:07:18,514 --> 00:07:21,292
burp-sealed pak-n-stor.

185
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,904
Oh, hey! I thought you
were going to the pharmacy.

186
00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:36,823
- I forgot my phone.
- Oh.

187
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,034
I think I'm just upset about
this stupid thing with my dad.

188
00:07:39,035 --> 00:07:40,410
Well, sweetie,
I'd love to hear about it

189
00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:42,204
when you come back with
my heating pad from the pharmacy,

190
00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:43,705
because I hurt my back, remember?

191
00:07:43,706 --> 00:07:46,458
I mean, did he overreact or what?

192
00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:47,959
It's just a game, right?

193
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,688
Well, unless there's
something more to it.

194
00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:52,064
Maybe you should go talk to him.

195
00:07:52,065 --> 00:07:54,191
- Yeah.
- Huh?

196
00:07:54,192 --> 00:07:55,734
Oh, I should have just
kept my mouth shut.

197
00:07:55,735 --> 00:07:57,319
I mean, it was such a great day.

198
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,280
After he thought he got
that hole-in-one,

199
00:07:59,281 --> 00:08:02,408
he took us out to dinner.
He bought me my first beer.

200
00:08:02,409 --> 00:08:03,909
Well, there you go.
He's probably hurt

201
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:06,704
because you marred a very special
father-son experience.

202
00:08:06,705 --> 00:08:08,581
- You think?
- Ya marred it.

203
00:08:08,582 --> 00:08:09,999
But you can fix it.

204
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,959
He's down at the club right now.

205
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,586
Go, Mitchell!

206
00:08:13,587 --> 00:08:14,962
Un-mar that memory!

207
00:08:14,963 --> 00:08:16,880
You know what?
I'm gonna do it.

208
00:08:16,881 --> 00:08:18,632
- Ow.
- Sorry.

209
00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:19,675
Don't worry. I'll be back soon.

210
00:08:19,676 --> 00:08:20,884
Okay! I'll miss you!

211
00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:23,774
Call first.

212
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:31,937
What were you thinking
saying that in front of him?

213
00:08:31,938 --> 00:08:33,522
I'm sorry. It slipped out.

214
00:08:33,523 --> 00:08:35,607
Besides, I figured he knew.
Mom knows.

215
00:08:35,608 --> 00:08:37,443
Only because she
dragged it out of Dylan.

216
00:08:37,444 --> 00:08:40,571
And she promised not to tell dad
until I left for college,

217
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:43,991
which means he might
have never found out.

218
00:08:43,992 --> 00:08:45,367
Stop panicking.

219
00:08:45,368 --> 00:08:47,077
We don't even know for sure
he heard what I said.

220
00:08:47,078 --> 00:08:48,829
Okay. Beatrice is with the nurse.

221
00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:50,164
They'll call us.
Shouldn't be too long.

222
00:08:50,165 --> 00:08:51,749
We can just wait
until she's married.

223
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:54,043
Until she's... ready.

224
00:08:54,044 --> 00:08:56,003
Which, apparently,
everyone is these days.

225
00:08:56,004 --> 00:08:58,047
Funny, I used to think it'd be years
until everyone was ready,

226
00:08:58,048 --> 00:09:01,551
but I guess I was wrong.
Wrong and naive.

227
00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:05,220
Surprise!

228
00:09:05,221 --> 00:09:07,765
Oh! Gloria. My God.

229
00:09:07,766 --> 00:09:09,516
I came to do yoga with you.

230
00:09:09,517 --> 00:09:10,893
I wasn't expecting to see you here.

231
00:09:10,894 --> 00:09:12,603
Yeah, that's why I say "surprise!"

232
00:09:12,604 --> 00:09:15,314
Oh, yeah. This is awful,
because I was just thinking

233
00:09:15,315 --> 00:09:17,232
I might have to bail on yoga.

234
00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:19,068
I have the worst headache
all of a sudden.

235
00:09:19,069 --> 00:09:20,736
Oh, but yoga is good for that, Claire.

236
00:09:20,737 --> 00:09:22,988
For the meditation, for the mmm...

237
00:09:22,989 --> 00:09:24,782
Yeah, yeah. It's just right now

238
00:09:24,783 --> 00:09:27,451
I wanna go lie down
in a dark room and breathe.

239
00:09:27,452 --> 00:09:28,744
That sounds like yoga.

240
00:09:28,745 --> 00:09:30,329
I... I realize that.

241
00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:31,247
Yes.

242
00:09:31,248 --> 00:09:33,666
- But still, I-I... should go.
- Come on.

243
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,751
I'm not gonna do
the class by myself.

244
00:09:35,752 --> 00:09:38,087
Okay, so let's go
and get massages.

245
00:09:38,088 --> 00:09:39,630
Or there's a nail salon there.

246
00:09:39,631 --> 00:09:41,465
Ooh, I would love to do that
some other time,

247
00:09:41,466 --> 00:09:42,675
I really would. But right now

248
00:09:42,676 --> 00:09:45,553
I need to get home and lie down.
You understand, right?

249
00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:47,888
- Of course.
- Okay.

250
00:09:47,889 --> 00:09:50,349
You go!

251
00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:51,800
And lie.

252
00:09:53,771 --> 00:09:54,980
- You're better!
- Oh!

253
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:56,147
Barely. Barely, yeah.

254
00:09:56,148 --> 00:09:58,817
I was just getting something
cold for my back.

255
00:09:58,818 --> 00:10:01,111
- Gravy?
- Well, if it can save your mom's turkey,

256
00:10:01,112 --> 00:10:02,279
it can save anything.

257
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,072
I thought you were going
to see your friend Miranda.

258
00:10:04,073 --> 00:10:05,740
This one chickened out.

259
00:10:05,741 --> 00:10:07,659
For someone who says
he likes girls so much,

260
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:09,035
he sure is afraid of them.

261
00:10:09,036 --> 00:10:10,495
It's a dance, Luke.

262
00:10:10,496 --> 00:10:11,621
Chicken dance.

263
00:10:11,622 --> 00:10:15,250
Well, since you're back,
what if I give you 20 bucks,

264
00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:17,752
and you guys...

265
00:10:17,753 --> 00:10:20,339
Go wash my car?

266
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,966
Is that 20 bucks for each of us,
or both of us?

267
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,384
Both.

268
00:10:24,385 --> 00:10:27,301
That's what I thought.

269
00:10:34,479 --> 00:10:35,479
Uh-oh, check it out.

270
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,272
Ace is drooling over
his plaque again.

271
00:10:37,273 --> 00:10:40,525
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't smell you idiots come in.

272
00:10:40,526 --> 00:10:41,568
Listen, I've been thinking,

273
00:10:41,569 --> 00:10:44,154
maybe it's time
we retire the name "Ace."

274
00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:46,531
You mean the name you
had printed on your golf cap?

275
00:10:46,532 --> 00:10:48,408
- And his robe.
- You know, guys, about that—

276
00:10:48,409 --> 00:10:50,952
Remember how mad he got when
I yanked that cap off his head

277
00:10:50,953 --> 00:10:51,995
and put it on?

278
00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:53,038
You got to earn that!

279
00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:54,206
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm just glad

280
00:10:54,207 --> 00:10:56,541
one of those cheap hair plugs
didn't get caught in it.

281
00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:58,460
Hey, for the millionth time,
they're not plugs.

282
00:10:58,461 --> 00:11:00,587
So what, your hair just came back
when you turned 50?

283
00:11:00,588 --> 00:11:02,923
- Unlike your wife.
- Hey, that was a blessing.

284
00:11:02,924 --> 00:11:05,300
Otherwise, I wouldn't be taking out
Natalie Hobbes tonight.

285
00:11:05,301 --> 00:11:07,094
Taking her out or doing her taxes?

286
00:11:07,095 --> 00:11:08,428
So I'm trying to find
a way to come clean

287
00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:11,264
about the hole-in-one,
when it occurs to me...

288
00:11:11,265 --> 00:11:12,566
Why?

289
00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:14,443
One idiot lies about his sex life,

290
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:18,405
the other dumbbell has a Ferrari
"in the shop" for years,

291
00:11:18,406 --> 00:11:21,909
and moron number three
is a Hollywood stunt car driver

292
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:25,954
who gets sick when he rides
backwards in the golf cart.

293
00:11:25,955 --> 00:11:28,040
So you ladies ready
to tee off or what?

294
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:30,542
- Yeah, just gotta settle up our tab.
- I took care of it.

295
00:11:30,543 --> 00:11:31,835
You said you were
going to the restroom.

296
00:11:31,836 --> 00:11:34,171
Ah! Can't trust a word
out of this guy's mouth.

297
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:35,798
20 years we've been falling for this.

298
00:11:35,799 --> 00:11:37,216
I-I'm sorry to interrupt,

299
00:11:37,217 --> 00:11:39,718
- but my dad never lied to you guys.
- Mitchell...

300
00:11:39,719 --> 00:11:41,053
No, he didn't even know until today

301
00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:42,805
- that he never made the hole-in-one.
- Okay.

302
00:11:42,806 --> 00:11:44,807
But the fact that
he couldn't live with himself

303
00:11:44,808 --> 00:11:45,974
when he found out,

304
00:11:45,975 --> 00:11:48,477
and he raced down here
to confess to you,

305
00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:50,604
that just shows
the kind of man he is.

306
00:11:50,605 --> 00:11:53,899
He is a hole-in-one kind of man.

307
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:55,692
You never got a hole-in-one?

308
00:11:55,693 --> 00:11:58,557
I didn't tell them.

309
00:11:58,571 --> 00:12:02,263
So this is the gang.
Introduce me.

310
00:12:04,035 --> 00:12:07,096
Ahh. Score!

311
00:12:07,097 --> 00:12:09,223
It's not like me and Miranda
are perfectly suited.

312
00:12:09,224 --> 00:12:10,850
For one thing, she likes bad boys.

313
00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:11,851
That's just not me.

314
00:12:11,852 --> 00:12:13,936
I'm gonna turn on some music.

315
00:12:13,937 --> 00:12:14,854
I'm sorry.

316
00:12:14,855 --> 00:12:16,939
I can't unlearn how to treat a lady.

317
00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:18,149
But where does that leave me?

318
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:20,276
Waiting till I'm 40 when
she looks me up on Facebook

319
00:12:20,277 --> 00:12:21,902
after a failed first marriage?

320
00:12:21,903 --> 00:12:23,771
Okay.

321
00:12:23,772 --> 00:12:24,981
What are you doing?

322
00:12:24,982 --> 00:12:27,108
I'm sick of hearing you
whine about Miranda!

323
00:12:27,109 --> 00:12:29,444
- It's time to make her notice you!
- But we can't!

324
00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:31,779
We got a full tank of gas,
and she's right down the block.

325
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:32,739
Now buckle up!

326
00:12:32,740 --> 00:12:35,422
- Are you crazy?
- You tell me.

327
00:12:48,716 --> 00:12:50,717
Lily, what is this?

328
00:12:50,718 --> 00:12:54,388
Don't you rather have
a chemistry set or flash cards?

329
00:12:54,389 --> 00:12:56,515
She's pretty.

330
00:12:56,516 --> 00:12:59,893
No. No, she's dirty.
Look. Look at the dirt.

331
00:12:59,894 --> 00:13:02,521
Let me wipe her off.

332
00:13:02,522 --> 00:13:04,606
Fix that.

333
00:13:04,607 --> 00:13:08,592
One of her breeds
is coming loose. Come here.

334
00:13:09,904 --> 00:13:11,447
Fix that right up.

335
00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:14,241
So I've completed the examination,

336
00:13:14,242 --> 00:13:15,534
she did really well.

337
00:13:15,535 --> 00:13:16,744
What's the prognosis?

338
00:13:16,745 --> 00:13:18,787
We can fix most of her arm,

339
00:13:18,788 --> 00:13:22,875
but she'll never regain
full mobility in her shoulder joint,

340
00:13:22,876 --> 00:13:25,336
because they don't make
that part anymore.

341
00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:26,587
Well, that's pretty good, right?

342
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,380
I mean, she'll look exactly the same.

343
00:13:28,381 --> 00:13:29,173
No one will know.

344
00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:31,165
I'll know.

345
00:13:32,093 --> 00:13:33,802
I'm just saying I liked her
the way she was.

346
00:13:33,803 --> 00:13:36,347
She was such a sweet little doll.

347
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:39,058
I'm sorry, doctor. I'm having trouble
adjusting to all this.

348
00:13:39,059 --> 00:13:41,810
Uh, dad, she's still
a sweet little doll.

349
00:13:41,811 --> 00:13:43,520
No, she's broken.

350
00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:46,106
No, she's just changed a little.

351
00:13:46,107 --> 00:13:48,192
It happens. Dolls grow up.

352
00:13:48,193 --> 00:13:49,526
Well, actually—

353
00:13:49,527 --> 00:13:51,612
- Uh, could you...
- Yeah. Sure.

354
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:52,863
I actually have to go

355
00:13:52,864 --> 00:13:55,795
give a little girl
some pretty bad news.

356
00:13:58,745 --> 00:14:01,671
So, Haley...

357
00:14:03,124 --> 00:14:05,209
The thing is...

358
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,503
Fact— Haley's almost 18.

359
00:14:07,504 --> 00:14:11,245
Fact— I am the cool dad.

360
00:14:11,841 --> 00:14:14,593
Haley, I understand
that sex is a part of life.

361
00:14:14,594 --> 00:14:16,095
I can't say that
I'm thrilled to hear this,

362
00:14:16,096 --> 00:14:18,472
but I'm sure you're being safe,
and I hope that you'll feel free

363
00:14:18,473 --> 00:14:21,000
to talk to me about this anytime.

364
00:14:23,603 --> 00:14:24,561
We should...

365
00:14:24,562 --> 00:14:27,648
We should probably get Beatrice,
like, a-a cast or something,

366
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:30,901
and we can all sign it. Yeah?

367
00:14:30,902 --> 00:14:32,236
Uh, yeah. Sure.

368
00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:35,399
Fact— I blew it.

369
00:14:36,449 --> 00:14:38,242
This repair's probably
gonna take a little while.

370
00:14:38,243 --> 00:14:39,410
Why don't you run up
to the food court

371
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:42,121
and grab us a table?
I'll get Alex and Lily.

372
00:14:42,122 --> 00:14:43,801
Okay.

373
00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:48,113
Do you want the counter or a booth?

374
00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:51,702
Whatever seems right to you.

375
00:14:52,746 --> 00:14:55,113
I trust you.

376
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:02,748
I have a cool dad.

377
00:15:05,045 --> 00:15:06,671
Okay. Your turn.

378
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,005
Unh-unh! No way!

379
00:15:08,006 --> 00:15:11,753
Do you wanna get
her attention, or not?

380
00:15:27,901 --> 00:15:29,443
That was amazing!

381
00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:31,404
Did you see the look
on Miranda's face?

382
00:15:31,405 --> 00:15:34,031
No. But you did good, Thelma.

383
00:15:34,032 --> 00:15:36,492
Please stop calling me that.
I hate that movie.

384
00:15:36,493 --> 00:15:38,536
What movie?

385
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,413
Uh-oh! Dead end!

386
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:41,581
You gotta make a u-ey.

387
00:15:41,582 --> 00:15:44,519
I don't know how to do that.

388
00:15:54,303 --> 00:15:55,886
She pretended to have a headache, Cam.

389
00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:57,930
She doesn't want
to spend time with me.

390
00:15:57,931 --> 00:16:00,057
Maybe she just wanted to be alone.

391
00:16:00,058 --> 00:16:01,392
Why?

392
00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:02,601
Because some people

393
00:16:02,602 --> 00:16:05,146
really value their privacy,

394
00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:07,220
and you have to respect that.

395
00:16:08,918 --> 00:16:10,335
I have to go.

396
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,420
Hola, Claire!

397
00:16:12,421 --> 00:16:14,797
Gloria, you've gotta stop doing that!

398
00:16:14,798 --> 00:16:17,759
Were you going back
to the yoga class without me?

399
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,053
No, that is not why I came back.

400
00:16:20,054 --> 00:16:21,596
I don't understand you.

401
00:16:21,597 --> 00:16:23,598
Why you don't want
to spend time with me?

402
00:16:23,599 --> 00:16:25,600
Everybody wants
to spend time with me!

403
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:28,395
Even the lady that did my nails
wants to take me to pilates.

404
00:16:28,396 --> 00:16:30,439
I didn't come back here to do yoga.

405
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,732
I don't do yoga. It's a cover, okay?

406
00:16:32,733 --> 00:16:34,443
Look...

407
00:16:34,444 --> 00:16:36,111
I know that from the outside,

408
00:16:36,112 --> 00:16:38,238
it seems like I have
everything together.

409
00:16:38,239 --> 00:16:39,932
No, not really.

410
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,226
My point is that my life
can be very stressful.

411
00:16:42,227 --> 00:16:45,312
And I have found a way
to cope with that stress.

412
00:16:45,313 --> 00:16:48,232
And it's my little secret.
And I'm not proud of it.

413
00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:50,484
- Hey, Claire. See you inside.
- Hey!

414
00:16:50,485 --> 00:16:52,653
Is that what you do?

415
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:55,114
No. No!

416
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:58,033
Okay. You're coming with me.
Come in.

417
00:16:58,034 --> 00:17:00,661
But listen to me. Gloria...

418
00:17:00,662 --> 00:17:02,913
It has to stay between us.

419
00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:05,794
This is my sacred space.

420
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:13,007
It's just such a great release.

421
00:17:13,008 --> 00:17:15,217
- Thank you for not judging me.
- Why would I?

422
00:17:15,218 --> 00:17:17,428
If anything,
it makes me like you more.

423
00:17:17,429 --> 00:17:18,762
- Mm.
- So how often do you come here?

424
00:17:18,763 --> 00:17:20,931
Not that often. No.

425
00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:22,308
Hey.

426
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:23,517
Maybe a little often.

427
00:17:23,518 --> 00:17:24,852
That's so sad.

428
00:17:24,853 --> 00:17:26,520
I live with four teenagers.

429
00:17:26,521 --> 00:17:27,813
You live with two adults.

430
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:28,981
- You have no idea...
- No, no, no. It's so sad

431
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,274
that you come here so often

432
00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:33,278
and that's the best
that you can shoot.

433
00:17:34,779 --> 00:17:36,322
And that's with pretty nails.

434
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,445
But improper stance. I...

435
00:17:37,446 --> 00:17:38,651
- Practice more.
- Okay.

436
00:17:38,971 --> 00:17:40,763
Here you go, Ace...

437
00:17:40,764 --> 00:17:42,765
I mean... what is your real name?

438
00:17:42,766 --> 00:17:43,975
Jay.

439
00:17:45,811 --> 00:17:49,230
- Dad, I—
- I told you, forget about it.

440
00:17:49,231 --> 00:17:51,899
All right.
I-I just want you to know

441
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,026
I get why you're upset, okay?

442
00:17:54,027 --> 00:17:55,361
That—that day
you got the hole-in-one,

443
00:17:55,362 --> 00:17:57,071
it meant a lot to you.

444
00:17:57,072 --> 00:18:00,116
And... I... I marred it.

445
00:18:00,117 --> 00:18:02,451
But it meant a lot to me, too.

446
00:18:02,452 --> 00:18:05,288
We had a steak dinner,
you gave me my first beer,

447
00:18:05,289 --> 00:18:06,789
and, uh...

448
00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:09,417
It was one of the greatest days
we ever spent together.

449
00:18:09,418 --> 00:18:11,502
And it wasn't about some
meaningless hole-in-one,

450
00:18:11,503 --> 00:18:12,962
it was about us.

451
00:18:12,963 --> 00:18:15,548
No. It was about a hole-in-one.

452
00:18:15,549 --> 00:18:17,550
Yes. Yes. A-a little bit, maybe.

453
00:18:17,551 --> 00:18:19,886
But mostly, it was
about how we bonded.

454
00:18:19,887 --> 00:18:23,556
I thought I hit a ball
straight from the tee

455
00:18:23,557 --> 00:18:27,810
really, really far
into a tiny hole.

456
00:18:27,811 --> 00:18:28,936
Okay.

457
00:18:28,937 --> 00:18:32,064
Well, when will I learn?

458
00:18:34,318 --> 00:18:35,568
And it wasn't your first beer, anyway.

459
00:18:35,569 --> 00:18:38,571
Yes, it was, dad, but I wouldn't
expect you to remember.

460
00:18:38,572 --> 00:18:41,282
It was your 14th birthday.

461
00:18:41,283 --> 00:18:42,908
You asked me for a sip of mine.

462
00:18:42,909 --> 00:18:45,161
Your mom yelled at you
in front of all your friends,

463
00:18:45,162 --> 00:18:47,246
said you were just a baby.

464
00:18:47,247 --> 00:18:49,498
You ran outside in tears...

465
00:18:49,499 --> 00:18:52,501
Which, unfortunately,
supported your mom's argument.

466
00:18:52,502 --> 00:18:55,838
Anyway, I came out
with a couple of beers.

467
00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:57,214
We drank 'em on the porch

468
00:18:57,215 --> 00:19:00,537
watching the storm clouds coming in.

469
00:19:02,387 --> 00:19:05,556
I had completely
forgotten about that.

470
00:19:05,557 --> 00:19:06,849
You know, you're—
you're unbelievable.

471
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:09,977
- Just when I peg you as some—
- Storm Stevens! That's it!

472
00:19:09,978 --> 00:19:11,645
Give me something.
I'm gonna write it right here.

473
00:19:11,646 --> 00:19:16,204
- Before I forget. "Storm Stevens."
- Stevens.

474
00:19:16,568 --> 00:19:19,714
What were we just
talking about? Just now?

475
00:19:20,113 --> 00:19:22,123
- No?
- Mnh-mnh.

476
00:19:22,324 --> 00:19:25,039
Come on, Lily.
Let's see if Beatrice is ready.

477
00:19:30,082 --> 00:19:32,249
Hey, dad?

478
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,709
I know I'm way too old for this,

479
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,708
but do you think
I could get this doll?

480
00:19:35,709 --> 00:19:36,626
Her name's Genevieve,

481
00:19:36,627 --> 00:19:38,294
and she's developing
a vaccine for...

482
00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:39,379
Yes, you can get the doll.

483
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:42,219
You can get
as many dolls as you want.

484
00:19:42,508 --> 00:19:43,758
It's $200.

485
00:19:43,759 --> 00:19:46,052
Or one is fine.

486
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:50,972
I know you're here.

487
00:19:52,518 --> 00:19:54,080
Hello.

488
00:19:58,908 --> 00:20:00,617
I have a bad feeling about this.

489
00:20:00,618 --> 00:20:02,118
What if one of your neighbors saw us?

490
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,703
Maybe we should just confess.

491
00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:04,954
We will...

492
00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:06,539
In 20 years.

493
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,207
Huh?

494
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:10,126
You heard grandpa.
There's a statute of limitations,

495
00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:11,377
which is a good thing

496
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,380
because we still need
to take Lily down.

497
00:20:13,381 --> 00:20:15,007
Nah, let her be the cute one.

498
00:20:15,008 --> 00:20:16,425
We don't need that anymore.

499
00:20:16,426 --> 00:20:18,301
We're bad boys now.

500
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,429
Yeah. I like that.

501
00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:23,048
Bad boys.

502
00:20:23,165 --> 00:20:25,123
Your mom!

503
00:20:30,213 --> 00:20:31,831
Oh, my God.

504
00:20:31,932 --> 00:20:33,401
Cam!

505
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,154
Um, this had a lid?

506
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,682
I'll see you guys later.
I'm going to Abby's.

507
00:20:42,683 --> 00:20:43,808
Bye, honey. Have fun.

508
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:47,406
Have fun, you! With Abby!

509
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:49,772
We've confirmed Abby's
a real person and a female?

510
00:20:49,773 --> 00:20:51,766
Yes, sweetie. We met her.

511
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,844
Honey, we can't treat
Haley differently

512
00:20:54,845 --> 00:20:57,490
just because we both know
what we know about her.

513
00:20:57,491 --> 00:21:00,269
I know. I just need time.

514
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,617
So Dylan told you?

515
00:21:03,618 --> 00:21:06,787
Why didn't he tell me?
He and I used to share everything.

516
00:21:06,788 --> 00:21:09,289
You're upset about a lot of things.

517
00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:11,513
Okay, I won't obsess over it.

518
00:21:11,514 --> 00:21:13,717
I just wanna ask you one thing.

519
00:21:14,493 --> 00:21:16,686
How long have you known?

520
00:21:17,136 --> 00:21:18,682
Three months.

521
00:21:18,683 --> 00:21:21,826
So this giant thing
happened to our first born,

522
00:21:21,827 --> 00:21:24,958
and you kept me in the dark
about it for three whole months?

523
00:21:24,959 --> 00:21:27,509
I'm sorry. I just wasn't sure
how you'd— Okay.

524
00:21:27,510 --> 00:21:29,993
Thank you.

525
00:21:32,647 --> 00:21:36,677
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