1
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:16,134
This week, the world lost a
great man, and I lost a mentor.

2
00:00:16,204 --> 00:00:20,308
For nearly 60 years, professor
ringmaster al uzielli

3
00:00:20,339 --> 00:00:24,112
helped young hopefuls like
me find their clown persona.

4
00:00:25,023 --> 00:00:26,284
"professor ringmaster"?

5
00:00:26,324 --> 00:00:28,427
It's a very prestigious
title at clown college.

6
00:00:28,467 --> 00:00:31,720
One step below piemaster general.

7
00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:35,123
- Where's lewis?
- Who knows?

8
00:00:35,163 --> 00:00:38,507
Okay,guys, it's just us. Lift on three.

9
00:01:08,156 --> 00:01:12,080
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
- =http://ytet. org=-
Proudly Presents

10
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:17,075
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
- =http://ytet. org=-
É­Æo°®ÂüÄá

11
00:01:17,115 --> 00:01:19,988
Modern Family
Season 3 Episode 18

12
00:01:20,589 --> 00:01:23,822
Hey, how come you guys haven't
accepted my friend requests?

13
00:01:23,852 --> 00:01:25,273
I didn't know you were on facebook.

14
00:01:25,313 --> 00:01:28,166
Yeah. You said it was only for teenagers
and people looking to have affairs.

15
00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:30,308
Well,I figured if you can't fight it...

16
00:01:30,339 --> 00:01:32,130
Not the having the
affair. That's still bad.

17
00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:34,863
No. Not that, but there's
nothing wrong with catching up

18
00:01:34,903 --> 00:01:36,194
with a few old friends, right?

19
00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:40,829
Or doing a little social
networking with by b.f.f.s?

20
00:01:41,289 --> 00:01:44,513
Social networking or
social not-working?

21
00:01:44,623 --> 00:01:45,744
Oh! You know what we gotta do?

22
00:01:45,784 --> 00:01:47,736
We gotta get a picture of
us all together on a boat.

23
00:01:47,776 --> 00:01:49,057
I think that's a thing now.

24
00:01:49,097 --> 00:01:52,170
So what do you say?
Accept my friend thingy.

25
00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:55,243
Sorry, mom,I-I didn't get
a friend thingy from you.

26
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:59,498
Yeah, you know, they have a lot of blocks
on there to protect kids from weirdos.

27
00:01:59,918 --> 00:02:02,090
Okay. Good, good. I'll send it again.

28
00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:04,002
Great. Please do.

29
00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:05,103
Please don't.

30
00:02:05,143 --> 00:02:07,606
We got her request the
first time, but ignored it.

31
00:02:07,636 --> 00:02:10,629
I can't have her on there snooping
around seeing what I'm doing at parties.

32
00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:15,083
Or posting pictures of us on family
vacations wearing old, dorky clothes.

33
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:19,077
What? What's wrong with this?

34
00:02:20,048 --> 00:02:23,171
Dad, check it out. I made one giant oreo.

35
00:02:23,682 --> 00:02:26,284
Luke, what are you doing?

36
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,357
You gotta eat it like
it's an ear of corn.

37
00:02:28,387 --> 00:02:30,108
Genius.

38
00:02:30,138 --> 00:02:32,421
- Wow. New suit?
- New everything.

39
00:02:32,451 --> 00:02:35,714
Kids, gather 'round. It's
time for a life lesson.

40
00:02:35,754 --> 00:02:38,126
Aren't we already gathered?

41
00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:39,788
Let me tell you something.

42
00:02:39,828 --> 00:02:44,473
Hard work,determination, and
perseverance always win out.

43
00:02:44,513 --> 00:02:48,587
I am living proof that
nice guys can finish first.

44
00:02:48,617 --> 00:02:51,520
Today I have a chance to get
the biggest listing of my career.

45
00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:54,262
Oh,I have never seen
this man so focused.

46
00:02:54,302 --> 00:02:56,655
I'm like a boxer before the big fight.

47
00:02:56,685 --> 00:02:58,907
That's why I didn't have
sex with claire last night.

48
00:02:58,947 --> 00:03:00,098
Sorry, honey.

49
00:03:00,168 --> 00:03:01,420
It's-it's okay.

50
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,291
But as soon as I get this listing-ding!

51
00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:06,345
Let's just stop. Stop.

52
00:03:10,509 --> 00:03:13,462
- I see you.
- What? I'm scratching.

53
00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:15,734
Hey, mom?

54
00:03:15,774 --> 00:03:18,006
Is it okay if I have a
friend come over tomorrow?

55
00:03:18,036 --> 00:03:21,840
Who? Reuben? Or the nervous
one that gets the nosebleed?

56
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,071
It's griffin cooper.

57
00:03:23,111 --> 00:03:24,373
Griffin cooper?

58
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,666
Griffin cooper is, by far, the
coolest kid in manny's grade.

59
00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:30,178
He's a terrific athlete, he's confident.

60
00:03:30,218 --> 00:03:33,362
Manny's a great kid,sure, but
he's not exactly cool.

61
00:03:33,392 --> 00:03:35,794
He can't even open a door cool.

62
00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:40,218
Salutations, wyatt. I'm so glad you're
joining me for an afternoon of mirth.

63
00:03:41,009 --> 00:03:42,701
Ah, good evening, reuben-san.

64
00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:44,533
May I ask you to remove your shoes?

65
00:03:44,563 --> 00:03:46,735
Tonight, we are going japanese.

66
00:03:47,095 --> 00:03:50,919
Ah! Hebalaboo ridabeley
lal mubay rumboo.

67
00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:53,021
I invented a new language this morning.

68
00:03:53,061 --> 00:03:54,943
When did you guys become buddies?

69
00:03:54,983 --> 00:03:57,245
Was it a football game in the
yard? You made a great catch?

70
00:03:57,285 --> 00:03:58,597
No, that didn't happen.

71
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:01,850
But the librarian told me
one day I'll be a great catch.

72
00:04:04,403 --> 00:04:06,395
I'm really not getting
that relationship.

73
00:04:06,425 --> 00:04:09,047
Why can't you just be happy
that manny's making new friends?

74
00:04:09,077 --> 00:04:10,749
No. 'cause it doesn't add up.

75
00:04:10,779 --> 00:04:14,182
Cool kids like griffin cooper
- They don't hang out with kids like manny.

76
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,594
Manny's very cool.

77
00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:18,216
Maybe those kids are
finally catching up to him.

78
00:04:18,246 --> 00:04:21,089
Wait a minute. I get it.

79
00:04:21,159 --> 00:04:25,243
Couple of days last week,I took
manny to school on my motorcycle.

80
00:04:25,283 --> 00:04:27,546
Griffin must think I'm pretty boss.

81
00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:30,889
Yes, jay. It's all because of you.

82
00:04:30,929 --> 00:04:32,631
Kids are looking for role models.

83
00:04:32,671 --> 00:04:35,083
Why do you think fonzie was so popular?

84
00:04:35,123 --> 00:04:39,217
He told people that they were rich, but
really took their money with his scheme?

85
00:04:39,247 --> 00:04:42,491
No, that's a... yes.

86
00:04:42,521 --> 00:04:45,964
Those people were victims
of a fonzie scheme.

87
00:04:53,532 --> 00:04:55,684
It's showtime.

88
00:04:57,356 --> 00:04:59,307
Hey, dunphy.

89
00:04:59,348 --> 00:05:01,870
You gettin' ready for
your one-woman show?

90
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:04,353
Mitzi. Mitzi roth-

91
00:05:04,393 --> 00:05:08,246
A notorious poacher in the world
of high-end residential real estate.

92
00:05:08,286 --> 00:05:10,859
We call her the
"nightmare on elm street,"

93
00:05:10,899 --> 00:05:13,982
because she sold a lot
of houses on elm street.

94
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,784
What are you doing here, mitzi?

95
00:05:15,824 --> 00:05:17,185
I have an appointment.
This is my listing.

96
00:05:17,225 --> 00:05:20,379
Oh,I didn't think that was
dotted line yet, jazz hands.

97
00:05:20,419 --> 00:05:22,771
No worries. I may have
an interested buyer.

98
00:05:22,841 --> 00:05:24,763
- I'll bring him to you.
- Really?

99
00:05:24,793 --> 00:05:25,834
Okay, but could you come back later?

100
00:05:25,864 --> 00:05:27,626
I really need to have
them to myself right now.

101
00:05:27,656 --> 00:05:29,708
Oh,yeah, okay. I completely understand.

102
00:05:29,748 --> 00:05:32,100
- Okay, thanks.
- You're welcome.

103
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,583
Wait. What?

104
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,585
- What are you doing?
- Watch this.

105
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:38,447
- Hello?
- Oh, it's mitzi roth.

106
00:05:38,487 --> 00:05:41,910
- And phil dunphy.
- I may have a prospective buyer for your beautiful house.

107
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,452
- I was wondering if maybe I could come in...
- hey, stan! Hey, patti!

108
00:05:43,492 --> 00:05:45,404
And just have a look for a little while.

109
00:05:45,434 --> 00:05:48,046
- We've got a lot to talk about.
- Come on in.

110
00:05:48,927 --> 00:05:53,872
Hey, guys. Yeah. I'm wondering if
maybe we shouldn't be alone for this.

111
00:05:53,912 --> 00:05:55,544
I'm in.

112
00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:58,086
Go back to condos, dunphy.

113
00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:02,371
Oh, my god! This place
is absolutely gorgeous.

114
00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:04,192
Stunning. Stunning.

115
00:06:04,232 --> 00:06:07,686
You are in such good
hands with phil. Hey.

116
00:06:07,726 --> 00:06:08,807
How are you guys?

117
00:06:08,837 --> 00:06:10,349
I mean, fingers crossed, though.

118
00:06:10,389 --> 00:06:13,061
You know, so many new
companies go belly-up.

119
00:06:13,101 --> 00:06:15,344
- Terrible.
- Well, good to... good to see you, mitzi.

120
00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:17,195
- Guys, how are you?
- Oh, no. No,no, it's fine.

121
00:06:17,235 --> 00:06:19,057
It's fine. Come and take a look. Yeah.

122
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,980
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- Mitzi, please!

123
00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:24,272
Mitzi, please! Please!

124
00:06:24,312 --> 00:06:26,695
- What are you doing?
- Oh, my god! He shoved me!

125
00:06:26,735 --> 00:06:28,036
- What?
- He shoved me!

126
00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:30,178
- For god sakes! Phil!
- Oh, my god!

127
00:06:30,218 --> 00:06:32,771
I thought you had your
anger problem under control!

128
00:06:32,811 --> 00:06:35,924
I don't have an anger...
I don't-anger problem.

129
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:38,727
I don't have an anger problem.

130
00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:42,100
Hey. It's over? What the hell?

131
00:06:42,170 --> 00:06:43,462
You're an hour late.

132
00:06:43,492 --> 00:06:44,953
Huh. Good to see you,too, chuckleberry.

133
00:06:44,993 --> 00:06:48,246
Look at that. Your oversized
pants are starting to fit.

134
00:06:48,457 --> 00:06:50,759
Hello, lewis.

135
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,382
Hello, fizbo.

136
00:06:53,452 --> 00:06:58,146
For several years,I was one half of
the renowned clown duo fizbo & lewis.

137
00:06:58,186 --> 00:06:59,217
We were huge.

138
00:06:59,257 --> 00:07:00,599
In children's parties.

139
00:07:00,679 --> 00:07:03,532
Anyway,I disbanded the group
shortly after I met mitchell.

140
00:07:03,602 --> 00:07:06,755
It's hard to have a
relationship and a clown career.

141
00:07:06,795 --> 00:07:08,937
That's the reason there
are so many single clowns.

142
00:07:08,977 --> 00:07:10,529
Just one of the reasons.

143
00:07:10,569 --> 00:07:12,831
Anyway,um, lewis hasn't
spoken to me since.

144
00:07:12,871 --> 00:07:15,454
He's still bitter, and I don't blame him.

145
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:17,356
It's kind of like I
broke up the beatles.

146
00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:20,178
Of children's parties.

147
00:07:20,218 --> 00:07:22,881
What do you say we hit a
bar? Tip a few back to al, huh?

148
00:07:22,921 --> 00:07:24,142
I heard you were in jail.

149
00:07:24,172 --> 00:07:26,615
Yeah? I heard you're still doing
that lame giant scissors bit,

150
00:07:26,645 --> 00:07:28,847
- you blue-haired
hack.- Who's in?

151
00:07:28,877 --> 00:07:30,028
I'll go. I'll go.

152
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,520
Just give me a minute.
I gotta redo my lips.

153
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,922
All right. Cerveza.

154
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:36,214
What about you, fizzy?

155
00:07:36,254 --> 00:07:39,277
You gonna come or you gonna
break up this party, too?

156
00:07:41,289 --> 00:07:43,942
Hey,shotgun, bitches!

157
00:07:45,083 --> 00:07:47,275
I should, you know, probably
go. You know, for-for al.

158
00:07:47,356 --> 00:07:50,399
Oh,yeah,no, of course. But,hey,listen, don't
let him get to you, all right?

159
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,961
No. It's fine. It's all
seltzer under the bridge.

160
00:07:52,991 --> 00:07:54,863
Just one drink, and then I'll be home.

161
00:07:54,903 --> 00:07:56,024
Okay. Just drive me home first?

162
00:07:56,064 --> 00:07:58,116
No,you,uh, you-you take the car.

163
00:07:58,156 --> 00:08:00,989
I, uh,I'll go with the guys.

164
00:08:01,019 --> 00:08:05,814
In that tiny car? How are you all
possibly gonna... Forget I asked!

165
00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:16,795
It's 5:00 in the morning.

166
00:08:17,936 --> 00:08:19,688
Daddy's juggling!

167
00:08:19,718 --> 00:08:21,740
Lily,honey, what are you doing up?

168
00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:22,851
Are you just getting home?

169
00:08:22,891 --> 00:08:23,842
Yeah, things got a little out of hand.

170
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,604
Somebody had a flower
that squirted tequila.

171
00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:28,937
What do you mean "somebody"?
I want full credit.

172
00:08:28,977 --> 00:08:30,228
What up, red?

173
00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:31,109
Really?

174
00:08:31,149 --> 00:08:32,411
Teach me to juggle!

175
00:08:32,441 --> 00:08:33,882
It's very simple.

176
00:08:33,922 --> 00:08:39,047
The key is to be aware of where
everything is at all times.

177
00:08:41,029 --> 00:08:43,862
And don't forget the
importance of balance!

178
00:08:44,252 --> 00:08:45,844
Okay. Okay. Come on.

179
00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:47,806
I think I cracked my eggs.

180
00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:51,059
We're out of eggs? Are you yolking?

181
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:54,132
and I haven't eaten in five days!

182
00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:57,676
Five days! Are you cereal?

183
00:08:59,658 --> 00:09:02,110
Lily, don't ever do that.

184
00:09:05,964 --> 00:09:10,459
okay. You two are
deliberately not confirming me.

185
00:09:10,539 --> 00:09:13,211
Everybody else has accepted
my facebook requests-

186
00:09:13,241 --> 00:09:16,935
Your father, uncle mitchell... Adele.

187
00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:20,839
That's right. Adele has agreed to be
my friend, and my own daughters haven't.

188
00:09:20,879 --> 00:09:22,871
Yeah, you may just be
a fan of adele, and-

189
00:09:22,911 --> 00:09:25,714
What is so private that
I can't possibly see it?

190
00:09:25,784 --> 00:09:27,676
Nothing.

191
00:09:27,706 --> 00:09:30,699
Nothing. You just don't
want to be my friend.

192
00:09:30,739 --> 00:09:35,083
Great. I can see my next status update
- "my daughters are monsters."

193
00:09:35,123 --> 00:09:38,196
You're not gonna believe
this. Mitzi got the listing.

194
00:09:38,236 --> 00:09:40,038
Oh,no, honey. That's awful.

195
00:09:40,078 --> 00:09:42,331
She cheated, she lied, and she won.

196
00:09:42,371 --> 00:09:43,632
Kids, gather 'round.

197
00:09:43,672 --> 00:09:45,203
Again, we are gathered.

198
00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:48,026
You wanna get ahead?
Don't play by the rules.

199
00:09:48,096 --> 00:09:52,080
Turns out nice guys finish last
in this cold, dog-eat-dog world.

200
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,923
It's not fair. Why
don't you play dirty, too?

201
00:09:54,963 --> 00:09:56,355
You could take her down.

202
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,757
Honey,'cause your dad is
a better man than that.

203
00:09:58,827 --> 00:10:00,298
He has values and morals and
- shh.

204
00:10:00,339 --> 00:10:01,890
You. Keep talking.

205
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:06,224
Well, just off the top of my
head, you could take my spy pen

206
00:10:06,264 --> 00:10:08,156
and record her admitting what she did.

207
00:10:08,226 --> 00:10:11,410
And then you could play it for those
people so they realize what a jerk she is.

208
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:13,982
- Your dad is never gonna do that...
- you're a regular chatterbox today!

209
00:10:14,022 --> 00:10:16,345
Get me that pen!

210
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:22,451
- I got it!
- Remember,pal, keep it simple.

211
00:10:24,262 --> 00:10:25,173
Hey, manny.

212
00:10:25,213 --> 00:10:27,626
Griffin-legendary
creature of greek mythology

213
00:10:27,656 --> 00:10:30,639
with the head of a lion
and wings of an eagle.

214
00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:31,880
What'd you say, jay?

215
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,312
Never mind.

216
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,966
Jay pritchett. Nice to meet you.

217
00:10:38,006 --> 00:10:39,918
Nice to meet you, too.

218
00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:45,143
You know,I, uh,I saw a little of that
basketball game of yours last week.

219
00:10:45,213 --> 00:10:46,355
You were lightin' it up.

220
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,366
Thanks.

221
00:10:47,406 --> 00:10:49,398
I was lighting it up,too, jay.

222
00:10:49,438 --> 00:10:50,939
Who's hot? We're hot!

223
00:10:50,969 --> 00:10:52,601
Mustangs are hot!

224
00:10:56,104 --> 00:10:58,957
Hola, griffin. How are you?

225
00:11:00,549 --> 00:11:04,373
oh. 13. I'm fine.

226
00:11:04,443 --> 00:11:06,505
So what do you boys
have planned for today?

227
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,677
Well, it's kind of a
surprise for griffin,

228
00:11:08,747 --> 00:11:10,809
but let's just say
it involves decoupage.

229
00:11:10,849 --> 00:11:13,482
- Oh, jeez.
- Come on. Let's go.

230
00:11:13,782 --> 00:11:16,054
Good-bye.

231
00:11:18,937 --> 00:11:20,929
- Oh, no.
- What?

232
00:11:20,969 --> 00:11:24,122
You were right. This boy
is not here to see manny.

233
00:11:24,152 --> 00:11:26,335
I told you. You see
the way he looks at me?

234
00:11:26,405 --> 00:11:29,588
No,fonzie, the way he looks at me.

235
00:11:29,628 --> 00:11:32,170
He couldn't talk. He kept staring.

236
00:11:32,210 --> 00:11:34,443
He was just like my
teachers back in school.

237
00:11:34,473 --> 00:11:36,715
Gloria, you're very pretty.

238
00:11:36,785 --> 00:11:38,517
But the kid idolizes me.

239
00:11:38,547 --> 00:11:40,929
Really?

240
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,801
Griffin! Manny!

241
00:11:42,831 --> 00:11:45,223
Do you want to go with
jay to ride his motorcycle,

242
00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:48,567
or you want to go with me to the
supermarket and buy a couple of onions?

243
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:52,120
- Motorcycle rides!
- Onions sound good.

244
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:57,646
Guess he has a thing for you, too.

245
00:11:58,657 --> 00:12:00,038
Hey! We're back!

246
00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:03,532
Hey,I-I just finished cleaning the
kitchen, so if anyone has to do a spit take,

247
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:04,623
please do it over the sink.

248
00:12:04,653 --> 00:12:08,256
We felt really bad about
that, so we got you a present.

249
00:12:08,296 --> 00:12:09,267
What-what's the deal with this?

250
00:12:09,307 --> 00:12:11,650
I open it up and snakes
fly out, or a fire?

251
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,572
No, we just know that you like to read.

252
00:12:13,612 --> 00:12:14,973
Yeah. So open it.

253
00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:16,825
Got him!

254
00:12:16,855 --> 00:12:19,398
No. No. That's exactly what I expected.

255
00:12:19,468 --> 00:12:20,489
'member, when I told you?

256
00:12:20,519 --> 00:12:23,502
Okay. Look, it's almost go time, so we
should have a shot and go white up.

257
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,574
I'm sor-excuse me. "white up"?

258
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,836
Oh, yeah. Lewis got a call to do
a birthday party this afternoon,

259
00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:29,358
so we're gonna put the
old act back together.

260
00:12:29,438 --> 00:12:32,080
Yeah, fizbo & lewis, together again.

261
00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:33,311
And they said it would never happen.

262
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:34,893
Said. Hoped.

263
00:12:34,923 --> 00:12:36,795
Could I talk to you for a second?

264
00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:38,206
Trouble in
queer-a-dise.

265
00:12:38,246 --> 00:12:41,289
Okay,look, gonna go out
to the car for smokes.

266
00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:43,982
Please tell me "smokes"
is not another clown,

267
00:12:44,022 --> 00:12:45,784
'cause I don't think I could
handle another one of him.

268
00:12:45,814 --> 00:12:47,245
Oh, lewis is not that bad.

269
00:12:47,285 --> 00:12:48,987
Well, what do you see in that guy, cam?

270
00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:51,009
I don't know. Maybe the fact
that he doesn't roll his eyes

271
00:12:51,049 --> 00:12:54,312
every time I talk about the
art of clowning... Like that.

272
00:12:54,353 --> 00:12:56,985
He may have had his faults, but
we were great together.

273
00:12:57,055 --> 00:12:58,647
We had an unspoken language.

274
00:12:58,687 --> 00:13:01,340
We finished each
other's balloon animals.

275
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:06,415
But you would never know, because you have
never been to one of our performances.

276
00:13:06,565 --> 00:13:08,617
Birthday parties.

277
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:09,818
You hate my clown side.

278
00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:12,150
No. No. No. I don't hate it.

279
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:15,684
Just admit it. I basically
already know you do.

280
00:13:15,714 --> 00:13:18,387
Okay. Okay. Cards on the table.

281
00:13:18,427 --> 00:13:20,589
- It's not my favorite thing that you...
- oh, how dare you?

282
00:13:20,619 --> 00:13:23,201
I am a clown. It's who I am!

283
00:13:23,241 --> 00:13:26,004
If you squeeze me, do
I not honk? Eye roll!

284
00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:28,927
Oh, like I had a choice!

285
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,652
Knock, knock.

286
00:13:33,692 --> 00:13:34,963
What are you doing here?

287
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:37,265
Hey, um,I-I brought you some... Soup.

288
00:13:37,336 --> 00:13:40,629
You know,I thought about
it, and maybe I did push you.

289
00:13:40,669 --> 00:13:42,851
So... How's the ankle?

290
00:13:42,881 --> 00:13:46,114
Oh, come on, dunphy. You know I flopped.

291
00:13:46,154 --> 00:13:47,736
Haven't you ever seen an nba game?

292
00:13:47,776 --> 00:13:51,019
Oh,I'm sorry. In your case, wnba.

293
00:13:51,089 --> 00:13:53,051
So that was all a ruse?

294
00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:54,743
The oldest trick in the book.

295
00:13:54,783 --> 00:13:56,465
You need to step up your game, son.

296
00:13:56,505 --> 00:13:59,548
You know what? I almost
feel sorry for you.

297
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,260
Come here. Give me a big hug.

298
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:06,034
Oh, yeah. Yeah. No hard feelings, huh?

299
00:14:06,074 --> 00:14:07,265
- None at all.
- Good.

300
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:11,750
Because I just recorded your entire
confession... Right here on my...

301
00:14:11,790 --> 00:14:13,542
Spy pen?

302
00:14:14,282 --> 00:14:16,405
Second-oldest trick in the book.

303
00:14:16,435 --> 00:14:20,138
Oh, god. A real man would
have just poisoned the soup.

304
00:14:21,219 --> 00:14:23,942
Are we... Done here?

305
00:14:28,377 --> 00:14:29,968
Ah. Thank you.

306
00:14:30,008 --> 00:14:31,770
Hey, mom. Guess what?

307
00:14:31,810 --> 00:14:35,283
Griffin invited us all over to his house
for a pool party and barbecue tonight.

308
00:14:35,323 --> 00:14:36,565
Pool party, huh?

309
00:14:36,605 --> 00:14:38,286
Yeah, and he said bring your swimsuits.

310
00:14:38,326 --> 00:14:39,468
He was pretty adamant about it.

311
00:14:39,498 --> 00:14:41,189
It's 50 degrees outside.

312
00:14:41,269 --> 00:14:42,300
Sounds fun.

313
00:14:42,331 --> 00:14:44,553
Great. I'll call him.

314
00:14:45,624 --> 00:14:48,627
You know, you're basically agreeing
to a date with a 13-year-old boy.

315
00:14:48,657 --> 00:14:51,360
Jay, we use this go get
us tables at restaurants,

316
00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:53,332
why can't we use this
to get manny a friend?

317
00:14:53,372 --> 00:14:54,733
Because he's not
really getting a friend.

318
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:58,447
Oh, but when you thought that he was
trying to ride your motorcycle, it was okay.

319
00:14:58,487 --> 00:15:01,039
Maybe now I don't like
what he's trying to ride.

320
00:15:01,079 --> 00:15:02,351
Manny likes griffin.

321
00:15:02,391 --> 00:15:05,894
Maybe someday, if they spend enough
time together, griffin will like manny.

322
00:15:05,924 --> 00:15:08,777
What? Griffin doesn't like me?

323
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:11,560
No,no,no, papi. He loves you.

324
00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:13,732
But you just said someday
griffin will like me.

325
00:15:13,762 --> 00:15:15,143
That means he doesn't like me now.

326
00:15:15,173 --> 00:15:17,346
You know what, kid?

327
00:15:17,566 --> 00:15:21,900
We think that griffin might
be hanging out with you

328
00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:24,623
because he's got a little
crush on your mother and me.

329
00:15:24,693 --> 00:15:27,275
- On you?
- Wow. I can't believe it.

330
00:15:27,346 --> 00:15:29,708
Listen, it's fine. You're
gonna be fine. Okay? I'm sorry.

331
00:15:29,738 --> 00:15:31,900
Are you kidding? It's fantastic!

332
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:33,281
How is it fantastic?

333
00:15:33,311 --> 00:15:36,575
I'm only hanging out with him because
I have the hots for his sister chloe.

334
00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:39,027
You've met griffin.
The kid's a doorknob.

335
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,299
So you're just using him?

336
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,962
Yeah, and I felt really
guilty about it until now.

337
00:15:44,002 --> 00:15:45,153
Now it's a win-win.

338
00:15:45,183 --> 00:15:46,415
Not for me!

339
00:15:46,455 --> 00:15:47,706
Just suck it up, mom.

340
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:49,478
I've done a lot for you over the years.

341
00:15:49,518 --> 00:15:52,200
Jay,you, too. This girl could be the one.

342
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,353
Then I'm out of your hair forever.

343
00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:56,925
Pool party, mom. Dress accordingly.

344
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:04,312
Can you help me reach
that box of cereal?

345
00:16:05,684 --> 00:16:08,797
You're mitzi roth. I
recognize you from your ads.

346
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,178
Smokin', right?

347
00:16:10,228 --> 00:16:12,871
I'm luke dunphy. My dad's phil dunphy.

348
00:16:12,901 --> 00:16:14,252
I'm sorry.

349
00:16:14,292 --> 00:16:15,814
Why do you hate him so much?

350
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,837
It's just business, kid.
It's not personal.

351
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:21,740
Well, it's personal to us.

352
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:24,453
I've never seen my
dad so worried before.

353
00:16:24,523 --> 00:16:27,876
I have this spy pen, and I
heard him talking to my mom,

354
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:31,620
and he's scared about paying for
my sister's college next year.

355
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,513
And I guess he's nervous
about some kind of party,

356
00:16:34,553 --> 00:16:37,426
because he said there's
a big balloon payment.

357
00:16:37,626 --> 00:16:41,069
Anyways, he's like the best dad ever,

358
00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:44,353
so maybe you could be
a little nicer to him.

359
00:16:44,423 --> 00:16:47,696
There you are, buddy. Check it out.
They're giving away free jelly beans.

360
00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:51,510
- Hey, mitzi.
- Dunphy.

361
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,782
You have a very nice kid there.

362
00:16:53,852 --> 00:16:56,314
He's mine.

363
00:16:59,948 --> 00:17:03,782
Hey, so I was thinking after,uh, little
fizbo, we could do the ladder bit.

364
00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:06,174
Ah, crap. I forgot the ladder.

365
00:17:06,214 --> 00:17:08,206
You know what? I'll
remember it next weekend.

366
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,438
What's next weekend?

367
00:17:09,478 --> 00:17:13,722
We got a town fair in thousand oaks
and a birthday party in pasadena.

368
00:17:13,762 --> 00:17:15,894
Whoa,whoa,whoa, whoa. I
- I can't do that.

369
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:16,635
W
- what do you mean?

370
00:17:16,675 --> 00:17:18,306
I'm the one with outstanding
warrants in pasadena.

371
00:17:18,347 --> 00:17:21,159
We're taking lily to the
aquarium next weekend.

372
00:17:21,189 --> 00:17:24,693
You know,lewis, this was
just a onetime thing, right?

373
00:17:24,723 --> 00:17:27,245
What happened to "we're
putting the act back together"?

374
00:17:27,285 --> 00:17:29,277
Well, that was just for today.

375
00:17:29,307 --> 00:17:32,491
Oh, sure.

376
00:17:32,571 --> 00:17:36,044
- I'm sorry if you thought...
- No,no, no. I get it.

377
00:17:36,084 --> 00:17:38,517
You're a family man now.

378
00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:46,745
Let's go out there and make this the
best show fizbo & lewis have ever done.

379
00:17:47,496 --> 00:17:50,128
You got it, partner.

380
00:17:50,539 --> 00:17:58,136
Ladies and germs, boys and girls, say
hello to my good friend... Little fizbo!

381
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,883
Hello, big people!

382
00:18:07,476 --> 00:18:10,689
Let's get this party started!

383
00:18:15,113 --> 00:18:18,357
wow, all this dancing
sure has made me hungry!

384
00:18:18,387 --> 00:18:20,759
Wish I had something to eat!

385
00:18:23,281 --> 00:18:25,233
Oh, forgot I had that fish over there.

386
00:18:25,263 --> 00:18:26,465
Don't know why he's so mad at me!

387
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,107
He was fine just a minute ago.

388
00:18:29,147 --> 00:18:32,411
Okay! Somebody's a little punchy today!

389
00:18:33,161 --> 00:18:34,483
What's the frying pan doing here?

390
00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:36,044
When did we add a frying pan to the act?

391
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:38,617
We don't need
- Nope! Don't need the frying pan!

392
00:18:39,237 --> 00:18:40,889
Why are you doing that? Stop doing that.

393
00:18:40,929 --> 00:18:42,691
Screw you, you traitor.

394
00:18:42,731 --> 00:18:44,212
That hurts! Seriously, stop it!

395
00:18:44,252 --> 00:18:46,224
Know what hurts? Abandonment.

396
00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:53,362
Listen to 'em laughing. We
could have been something.

397
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:56,435
We could have been some
- I can't do this bit by myself!

398
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,111
Somebody! Somebody! This isn't pretend!

399
00:19:03,181 --> 00:19:05,884
Someone grab an adult, please!

400
00:19:10,158 --> 00:19:11,179
Mitzi.

401
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,941
Your kid forgot his cereal.

402
00:19:12,971 --> 00:19:15,163
There's a surprise in every box.

403
00:19:15,193 --> 00:19:17,616
Spoiler alert
- It's diabetes.

404
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,028
You drove all the way
over here for this?

405
00:19:20,098 --> 00:19:21,350
Okay,look, here's the deal.

406
00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:23,362
You can have that
listing if you want it.

407
00:19:23,392 --> 00:19:25,564
- What?
- Yeah, the couple are a real pain.

408
00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:27,135
I'm too old for that kind of headache.

409
00:19:27,175 --> 00:19:29,167
Just keep your mouth shut about it.

410
00:19:29,197 --> 00:19:31,790
- Thank you so much.
- I just said "zip it"!

411
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:33,101
You did. Unbelievable.

412
00:19:33,141 --> 00:19:36,475
I'm so sorry. But thank you. Bye!

413
00:19:37,456 --> 00:19:39,227
Kids, gather 'round!

414
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:41,620
We are right here! oh.

415
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:45,754
Let me tell you something
- People are fundamentally good.

416
00:19:45,824 --> 00:19:48,477
The key is, you find that
goodness deep within 'em.

417
00:19:48,507 --> 00:19:52,341
Twist it, and turn it to your advantage.

418
00:19:52,381 --> 00:19:54,102
Hello. Psh!

419
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:56,965
And... There she is.

420
00:19:57,005 --> 00:19:58,026
What are you gonna hit?

421
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:00,339
College, balloon
payment, greatest dad ever.

422
00:20:00,369 --> 00:20:02,671
Nice. Do you want me to
squirt some tears in your eyes?

423
00:20:02,711 --> 00:20:06,024
Dad, please. I was fake
crying before I could walk.

424
00:20:06,064 --> 00:20:09,207
How do you think I got out
of eating all those salads?

425
00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:17,866
Can you help me reach
that box of cereal?

426
00:20:17,896 --> 00:20:20,178
Oh, hey. You're mitzi roth, right?

427
00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:22,230
I recognize you from your ads.

428
00:20:22,270 --> 00:20:23,762
Smokin', huh?

429
00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:26,375
I can't believe you
got that listing back!

430
00:20:26,405 --> 00:20:28,437
Sweetheart! Honey!

431
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:30,028
Honey?

432
00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,560
Ding?

433
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,573
You sure you wanna ding a chatterbox?

434
00:20:36,465 --> 00:20:40,469
Honey... Buddy, quick
- What's the trick to those fake tears?

435
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:43,221
The three stooges are all dead.

436
00:20:43,291 --> 00:20:45,624
Yeah, that's good.

437
00:20:48,096 --> 00:20:51,980
Well, it looks like
somebody likes coldplay.

438
00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:54,282
Right. You saw.

439
00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:57,366
Did you see the pictures
I posted from thanksgiving?

440
00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:59,037
Totes adorbs.

441
00:20:59,077 --> 00:21:00,539
a

442
00:21:00,579 --> 00:21:03,151
b

443
00:21:03,191 --> 00:21:07,436
c

444
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:08,797
d

445
00:21:08,837 --> 00:21:11,069
e

446
00:21:11,099 --> 00:21:13,482
f

447
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,664
g

448
00:21:15,704 --> 00:21:17,325
h

449
00:21:17,356 --> 00:21:19,087
I

450
00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:20,318
j

451
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,981
k

452
00:21:23,021 --> 00:21:24,302
l

453
00:21:24,343 --> 00:21:26,174
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
- =http://ytet. org=-
Proudly Presents

454
00:21:26,214 --> 00:21:28,316
- =http://bbs.sfile2012. com=-
- =http://ytet. org=-
É­Æo°®ÂüÄá

455
00:21:28,357 --> 00:21:29,528
Modern Family
Season 3 Episode 18