1
00:00:03,229 --> 00:00:04,278
Good morning!

2
00:00:04,294 --> 00:00:05,952
There's the birthday boy!

3
00:00:05,978 --> 00:00:08,261
65 candles on one cake.

4
00:00:08,262 --> 00:00:09,708
This is a big day for you...

5
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:12,148
and for the astronauts
who can see it from space.

6
00:00:12,149 --> 00:00:13,756
Happy birthday to you.

7
00:00:13,757 --> 00:00:17,432
Thank you. And just so everyone knows,
I want a quiet day.

8
00:00:17,576 --> 00:00:18,978
No surprises.

9
00:00:19,588 --> 00:00:21,062
No surprises.

10
00:00:21,434 --> 00:00:23,854
Last night, I found out
that I am pregnant,

11
00:00:24,017 --> 00:00:26,490
so Jay's gonna get
one big surprise.

12
00:00:27,281 --> 00:00:28,832
Okay, two if you count

13
00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:31,411
the barbecue apron
with the bikini body on it.

14
00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:32,700
I don't blame you, Jay.

15
00:00:32,701 --> 00:00:34,884
You'd had enough excitement
in one lifetime...

16
00:00:34,885 --> 00:00:37,972
The dawn of flight,
printed books, agriculture.

17
00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:39,488
All right, what's with all the jokes?

18
00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:40,764
It's insult comedy.

19
00:00:40,765 --> 00:00:43,072
I've been watching old
Dean Martin roasts online.

20
00:00:43,883 --> 00:00:45,605
Like this guy knows
from the Internet.

21
00:00:45,606 --> 00:00:46,280
The other morning,

22
00:00:46,281 --> 00:00:48,202
I saw him looking for the crank
on the front of his car.

23
00:00:48,203 --> 00:00:50,445
- Okay, you're done.
- I make fun, and we laugh.

24
00:00:50,446 --> 00:00:51,898
But in all seriousness,

25
00:00:51,899 --> 00:00:54,363
if you see a light today,
don't walk towards it.

26
00:00:56,336 --> 00:00:58,549
I'm sorry I was asleep
when you got home.

27
00:00:58,873 --> 00:01:00,915
Cam and Mitch
must be disappointed.

28
00:01:01,217 --> 00:01:03,362
They were really geared up
to get that kid.

29
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,997
But there's a silver lining.

30
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,798
You might be right.
Babies are a lot of work.

31
00:01:07,799 --> 00:01:09,119
No, that's not what I mean.

32
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,159
- I'm... - Ah, you know, and these two
aren't getting any younger.

33
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,577
The last thing they need
is to start over.

34
00:01:13,578 --> 00:01:15,065
Would that be so bad?

35
00:01:17,247 --> 00:01:18,107
Hey, Jay.

36
00:01:18,199 --> 00:01:19,000
- Hey!
- Hi.

37
00:01:19,284 --> 00:01:20,780
What are you doing?

38
00:01:20,785 --> 00:01:22,314
- What the heck is that?
- What?

39
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:23,173
Get him!

40
00:01:23,661 --> 00:01:25,992
Jay has been very explicit

41
00:01:25,993 --> 00:01:28,836
about what he wants
to do for his 65th birthday,

42
00:01:29,749 --> 00:01:32,616
but Phil Dunphy
reads between the lines.

43
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,467
What the hell is going on?
What are you doing?

44
00:01:35,468 --> 00:01:37,025
Making your birthday dreams
comes true.

45
00:01:37,026 --> 00:01:38,589
It's your special day, buddy.

46
00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:39,477
Should we put him in the trunk?

47
00:01:39,478 --> 00:01:40,686
Why would we put him in the trunk?

48
00:01:40,687 --> 00:01:41,979
You said there were no bad ideas.

49
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:43,534
Get this stupid thing off me!

50
00:01:43,535 --> 00:01:44,985
I thought you said the hood
would calm him down.

51
00:01:44,986 --> 00:01:46,396
It works with my falcon.

52
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:49,606
Don't worry, Gloria.
We'll have him back in time for dinner.

53
00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:51,570
Which for him is
at 4:00 in the afternoon.

54
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:53,852
'Cause he's old! I love it!

55
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:06,193
Synced by YYeTs, corrections by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com

56
00:02:06,947 --> 00:02:08,535
This is really good coffee.

57
00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:09,947
It really is.

58
00:02:10,154 --> 00:02:11,881
- Ahh.
- Is it a medium roast or...

59
00:02:12,116 --> 00:02:13,037
Uh, dark.

60
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,636
Oh. I was gonna say dark.
I don't know why I said medium.

61
00:02:15,637 --> 00:02:16,813
Well, you would've been right.

62
00:02:20,018 --> 00:02:20,876
Is it whole milk or...

63
00:02:20,877 --> 00:02:22,286
- 2%.
- 2%.

64
00:02:25,097 --> 00:02:26,573
Okay. This is ridiculous.

65
00:02:26,574 --> 00:02:28,560
We need to talk about
the elephant in the room.

66
00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:32,613
The giant stuffed elephant

67
00:02:32,614 --> 00:02:34,665
was a gift from
our good friend Pepper.

68
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,477
Gay guys having kids is...
it's relatively new,

69
00:02:37,478 --> 00:02:39,178
so our community
has not yet learned

70
00:02:39,179 --> 00:02:40,682
how to modulate baby gifts.

71
00:02:40,683 --> 00:02:42,887
When Steven and Stefan
had little Rocco,

72
00:02:42,888 --> 00:02:44,213
our friend Longinus sent over

73
00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:45,858
the whole cast of "Yo gabba gabba".

74
00:02:45,859 --> 00:02:47,912
Now Rocco cries whenever
he sees bright colors.

75
00:02:47,913 --> 00:02:49,199
I'm not allowed over there.

76
00:02:50,009 --> 00:02:52,020
I guess we should
donate it somewhere,

77
00:02:52,763 --> 00:02:54,588
along with the 800-pound gorilla.

78
00:02:56,714 --> 00:02:58,720
I mean, you know, now that
we're not getting a baby.

79
00:02:58,721 --> 00:02:59,809
A decision, by the way,

80
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:01,806
which seems even better
in the light of day.

81
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,329
Mm. No, I totally agree.

82
00:03:03,677 --> 00:03:05,386
- So we're good?
- No, we're great.

83
00:03:05,387 --> 00:03:07,068
- We couldn't have handled this any better.
- No.

84
00:03:07,069 --> 00:03:09,265
Where's my new baby brother?

85
00:03:10,578 --> 00:03:12,383
Okay. Uh, slight oversight.

86
00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:14,562
Can I see him?
Can we name him Larry?

87
00:03:14,615 --> 00:03:16,987
Okay, sweetie.
Here, have a seat with us.

88
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,021
Um, listen.

89
00:03:18,755 --> 00:03:20,322
There's something
we need to tell you.

90
00:03:20,323 --> 00:03:21,787
Is it about Larry?

91
00:03:21,788 --> 00:03:24,010
Well, uh, yes.
Uh, sort of.

92
00:03:24,011 --> 00:03:27,114
Um, it... it turns out that...
We're not getting a baby.

93
00:03:27,115 --> 00:03:30,558
Yeah, and I know this...
this makes you very sad,

94
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,131
but I promise you
we're still a family...

95
00:03:32,132 --> 00:03:33,502
Can I have a kitten?

96
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:34,696
A kitten?

97
00:03:34,697 --> 00:03:36,209
If I can't have a brother,

98
00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,911
then I want a kitten named Larry.

99
00:03:40,216 --> 00:03:42,634
Okay, w-what's this about?
Is Larry on a show?

100
00:03:42,653 --> 00:03:45,401
He's not, which is what's weird.

101
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:50,410
- Ooh! How was prom?
- So fun.

102
00:03:50,411 --> 00:03:51,875
Michael and I danced all night...

103
00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:52,972
And then we stayed after
and helped clean up,

104
00:03:52,973 --> 00:03:53,680
which was awesome

105
00:03:53,681 --> 00:03:56,171
because I got to meet
next year's trig teacher.

106
00:03:56,439 --> 00:03:58,073
That is not the prom I remember.

107
00:03:58,074 --> 00:03:59,996
I have such a bad headache!

108
00:04:00,158 --> 00:04:01,542
That's the prom I remember.

109
00:04:01,844 --> 00:04:02,750
Were you drinking?

110
00:04:02,751 --> 00:04:05,096
Mom, do we really
have to do this?

111
00:04:05,097 --> 00:04:07,054
You ask if I was drinking,
I say "No,"

112
00:04:07,055 --> 00:04:08,920
and we both know
that that's not true.

113
00:04:09,455 --> 00:04:12,174
I mean, aren't we past
this point in our relationship?

114
00:04:12,175 --> 00:04:13,616
No, young lady, we are not.

115
00:04:13,617 --> 00:04:14,923
Then I wasn't drinking.

116
00:04:15,977 --> 00:04:17,627
Me neither, Mrs. D.

117
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,379
Dear God. Tell me he
did not spend the night here.

118
00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,662
Mom, do we really
have to do this?

119
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:26,430
Mom, I have a big decision to make

120
00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:27,956
about poetry camp this summer.

121
00:04:27,957 --> 00:04:29,959
Is this about
the walking sticks again?

122
00:04:29,989 --> 00:04:31,944
Pack them all and decide
when you're there.

123
00:04:31,945 --> 00:04:34,467
I can either focus
on sonnets or free verse.

124
00:04:34,557 --> 00:04:36,687
I've always fancied
myself a sonneteer,

125
00:04:36,869 --> 00:04:38,429
But I'm thinking
the free verse girls

126
00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:39,960
will be freer with everything,

127
00:04:40,126 --> 00:04:41,340
If you catch my meaning.

128
00:04:43,073 --> 00:04:44,408
Hmm? Ay. I'm sorry, Manny.

129
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,490
I'm sure you will make
the right decision.

130
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,588
Are you okay?
You seem distracted.

131
00:04:48,819 --> 00:04:51,452
Manny, sit down.
I have to tell you something.

132
00:04:51,896 --> 00:04:52,921
What?

133
00:04:54,249 --> 00:04:56,051
I am pregnant.

134
00:04:56,624 --> 00:04:57,599
You're what?

135
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,186
I'm going to have a baby.

136
00:04:59,955 --> 00:05:01,009
Wow.

137
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,029
What?

138
00:05:02,030 --> 00:05:03,258
You're not happy?

139
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:04,436
Yeah. Sure.

140
00:05:04,728 --> 00:05:06,258
It's just a lot to take in.

141
00:05:06,684 --> 00:05:08,967
And I'll be honest, this isn't coming
at a great time for me,

142
00:05:08,968 --> 00:05:10,585
with everything
I've got going on.

143
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,629
This is not your responsibility.

144
00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:14,028
Neither is our
wooden salad bowl,

145
00:05:14,029 --> 00:05:15,465
but I'm the only one who oils it.

146
00:05:15,466 --> 00:05:17,812
Without me, that thing would
soak up dressing like a sponge.

147
00:05:17,813 --> 00:05:19,626
Manny, I can take care of a baby.

148
00:05:19,627 --> 00:05:20,836
I took care of you.

149
00:05:20,837 --> 00:05:23,543
Please. I was an anomaly.
I self-potty trained.

150
00:05:23,812 --> 00:05:25,563
I just did not get the appeal

151
00:05:25,564 --> 00:05:27,680
of intentionally
soiling one's pants.

152
00:05:28,018 --> 00:05:28,982
That said,

153
00:05:28,983 --> 00:05:31,297
I will admit to missing
the kisses on my tummy.

154
00:05:31,794 --> 00:05:33,147
How did Jay take it?

155
00:05:34,038 --> 00:05:35,807
I haven't been able
to tell him yet.

156
00:05:35,933 --> 00:05:37,541
He might not be too thrilled.

157
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:40,804
Do you think? I was starting
to wonder the same thing.

158
00:05:40,805 --> 00:05:42,365
He doesn't deal well with change.

159
00:05:42,366 --> 00:05:43,291
I know.

160
00:05:43,292 --> 00:05:46,166
He still checks the front step
for the evening paper.

161
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:48,554
Don't worry, mom.
I'm sure he'll adapt.

162
00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:51,945
Although, he still does
call the remote the "Clicker."

163
00:05:52,414 --> 00:05:53,743
Ay, yeah.

164
00:05:58,015 --> 00:06:00,739
I'm bored, daddy.
Make the car dance.

165
00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:02,672
All right.
But just for a second, all right?

166
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,065
Do it again.

167
00:06:08,066 --> 00:06:09,618
No. Once was enough.

168
00:06:09,796 --> 00:06:14,206
If I can't have a brother,
then I want the car to dance.

169
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,688
Wow, you are really comfortable
playing that card.

170
00:06:17,776 --> 00:06:18,397
Hey!

171
00:06:20,366 --> 00:06:21,710
They wouldn't take 'em.

172
00:06:23,974 --> 00:06:25,876
They were afraid
they might have bedbugs.

173
00:06:25,877 --> 00:06:28,671
Are you serious?
They rejected our donation?

174
00:06:28,672 --> 00:06:29,716
I was so offended,

175
00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:31,366
I almost didn't buy
this fiestaware creamer.

176
00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:32,198
2 bucks.

177
00:06:32,199 --> 00:06:33,414
Didn't know what they had.

178
00:06:33,939 --> 00:06:35,084
Ah! Score.

179
00:06:35,586 --> 00:06:37,325
So what are we gonna do now?

180
00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:40,497
Get a kitten and
then name it Larry.

181
00:06:40,624 --> 00:06:43,022
Lily, honey, this is hardly
the day to get a kitten, okay?

182
00:06:43,023 --> 00:06:44,067
Would you just tell her?

183
00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:45,314
I don't know.

184
00:06:45,852 --> 00:06:47,230
I kinda want one now.

185
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:49,225
You know, we have
been through a lot,

186
00:06:49,226 --> 00:06:52,784
and maybe the presence
of a cuddly little friend

187
00:06:52,785 --> 00:06:54,476
will help us ease the pain.

188
00:06:54,727 --> 00:06:56,197
Okay, so what you're saying is,

189
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,990
You have a child-shaped
hole in your heart,

190
00:06:57,991 --> 00:07:00,762
And your plan is
to cram a cat into there?

191
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:03,344
He has a name.

192
00:07:05,065 --> 00:07:07,194
I can't wait till your eyes
adjust to the light,

193
00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:08,795
and we see the look on your face.

194
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,121
I hate you guys.

195
00:07:10,122 --> 00:07:12,449
Hey, Phil, you ever think
about growing a beard?

196
00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:13,920
I mean, you got the face for it.

197
00:07:13,921 --> 00:07:14,812
- You think?
- Yeah.

198
00:07:14,813 --> 00:07:16,888
That's funny. I always thought so,
but my wife doesn't.

199
00:07:16,889 --> 00:07:17,562
Oh, what does she know?

200
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:20,156
Come on, you got a great nose,
those deep-set eyes.

201
00:07:20,157 --> 00:07:21,542
I mean, you would look good.

202
00:07:21,897 --> 00:07:22,867
Thanks, Shorty.

203
00:07:22,868 --> 00:07:25,843
It's, uh, sort of a Jon Hamm
in between projects.

204
00:07:25,844 --> 00:07:27,193
Okay, put me back in the trunk.

205
00:07:27,194 --> 00:07:28,214
Relax, you're almost there.

206
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,337
Nope, I'm done now!

207
00:07:29,338 --> 00:07:30,787
- Hey, Jay, no!
- No! No! No! Hey!

208
00:07:30,899 --> 00:07:33,204
Jay! Jay!

209
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:34,991
- Jay!
- Son of a bitch!

210
00:07:35,047 --> 00:07:36,201
Somebody help me!

211
00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:38,552
I would, but... but
these pants are cashmere!

212
00:07:38,553 --> 00:07:39,835
I got you, Jay!

213
00:07:41,009 --> 00:07:42,426
You gotta calm him down!

214
00:07:42,631 --> 00:07:44,901
- Punch him in the head!
- Don't punch him in the head!

215
00:07:44,902 --> 00:07:47,306
Don't make me punch you!
I will punch you to save you!

216
00:07:47,307 --> 00:07:48,394
I think I'm being waterboarded.

217
00:07:48,395 --> 00:07:49,941
You're making me do this!

218
00:07:51,524 --> 00:07:52,910
Get this thing off me!

219
00:07:55,295 --> 00:07:56,476
Happy birthday.

220
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:58,109
We're taking you fishing.

221
00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:00,755
For whatever it's worth,

222
00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:02,823
Dylan was very
responsible last night.

223
00:08:02,904 --> 00:08:04,698
He's a good guy to have
around the house.

224
00:08:05,390 --> 00:08:06,512
Mm. Where we going with this?

225
00:08:06,513 --> 00:08:08,658
Well, since I can't move in
with him anymore,

226
00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:10,230
he can't afford his apartment.

227
00:08:10,231 --> 00:08:13,214
So I was wondering
if it would be okay

228
00:08:13,215 --> 00:08:15,700
if he could stay with us
for a couple weeks?

229
00:08:15,701 --> 00:08:17,201
Sure. Oh, you know what?

230
00:08:17,202 --> 00:08:18,724
Why don't you guys take our room?

231
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:22,885
She's being facetious.

232
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,094
Sarcastic.

233
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,211
Dylan no stay.

234
00:08:27,212 --> 00:08:28,077
What?

235
00:08:28,078 --> 00:08:29,425
Oh, come on!
He helps out a lot.

236
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,027
He is very handy.

237
00:08:31,263 --> 00:08:34,185
Really? The guy who
locked himself in his car?

238
00:08:34,186 --> 00:08:37,074
You are in no position to be
asking for favors, young lady.

239
00:08:37,075 --> 00:08:39,565
Here. Drink this.
It's for your hangover.

240
00:08:40,565 --> 00:08:41,625
Ugh. It smells gross.

241
00:08:41,626 --> 00:08:43,349
Well, then you better
drink it fast.

242
00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:49,256
Ew! I'm gonna throw up!
Ugh! Ugh!

243
00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:54,916
That's a hangover cure?

244
00:08:55,352 --> 00:08:56,401
No.

245
00:08:57,364 --> 00:08:58,730
Well, this is probably shot.

246
00:08:59,526 --> 00:09:02,416
Once again, I'd like to apologize
for punching you in the head.

247
00:09:02,815 --> 00:09:04,362
It really was the only way
to save you

248
00:09:04,363 --> 00:09:06,982
since you were bound and...
hooded,

249
00:09:06,983 --> 00:09:08,693
which leads me
to my second apology.

250
00:09:08,694 --> 00:09:11,197
Gentlemen, come on.
As my uncle used to say,

251
00:09:11,222 --> 00:09:13,885
let's not let a botched kidnapping
ruin our whole afternoon.

252
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,987
He's right.
The whole point of this

253
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:18,824
is for you to enjoy the lake
with your three best friends.

254
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,347
Stan coming?

255
00:09:20,783 --> 00:09:22,009
Burn!

256
00:09:22,731 --> 00:09:24,950
So... 65, huh?

257
00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:27,832
You're heading into
the best years of your life.

258
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:28,458
That's right.

259
00:09:28,459 --> 00:09:29,930
You put in the work.
You climbed the mountain.

260
00:09:29,931 --> 00:09:32,136
Now it's time to reap the rewards.

261
00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:32,915
I guess you're right.

262
00:09:32,916 --> 00:09:33,995
Sounds pretty good to me.

263
00:09:33,996 --> 00:09:35,448
You know, the more I look at you,

264
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,503
the angrier I get that
you don't got a beard.

265
00:09:37,504 --> 00:09:38,693
I had a soul patch once.

266
00:09:38,694 --> 00:09:41,289
A soul patch?
That's like a beard's crap.

267
00:09:41,810 --> 00:09:43,957
I golfed six times last week.

268
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,178
Found 42 balls... a new record.

269
00:09:46,179 --> 00:09:47,819
I don't think my falcon
could have found that many,

270
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:50,199
And he can spot
a mouse at 600 yards.

271
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,874
Whats that have to do with beards?

272
00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:53,704
I thought we were talking
about Jay turning 65

273
00:09:53,705 --> 00:09:55,015
and how good that's gonna be.

274
00:09:55,016 --> 00:09:56,373
That's right.
It's gonna be great, Jay.

275
00:09:56,374 --> 00:09:58,736
I'm telling ya.
I got a vegetable garden.

276
00:09:58,737 --> 00:10:01,389
Two years ago, it was a patch
of dirt in my backyard.

277
00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:04,136
Now I got tomatoes,
I got five kinds of beans,

278
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,191
I got squash.

279
00:10:05,192 --> 00:10:06,633
And between you and me,

280
00:10:06,747 --> 00:10:08,883
I'm even thinking about
pickling my own cucumbers.

281
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:10,698
Why would that be
between you and me?

282
00:10:10,699 --> 00:10:13,414
Because there's a
finite number of pickles.

283
00:10:13,511 --> 00:10:15,315
But don't worry.
All you guys are on the list.

284
00:10:15,316 --> 00:10:16,830
Well, I'd like to make a toast.

285
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,032
To Jay, who's not
particularly buoyant.

286
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,597
And again,
I'm very sorry about that.

287
00:10:21,598 --> 00:10:24,130
But he's the best father-in-law
a guy could ask for.

288
00:10:24,131 --> 00:10:26,825
- All right. - And we're... we're all
really lucky to know him. Cheers.

289
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,378
- Here, here.
- Salud.

290
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:29,832
Thanks, guys.
You know what?

291
00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:31,923
It is kinda nice
being out here with all of ya.

292
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,463
Hey, let's do some fishing.

293
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:35,903
I'm starting to feel better
now that I'm finally getting dry.

294
00:10:36,273 --> 00:10:37,289
Let's do this!

295
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:38,462
- Let's go!
- All right!

296
00:10:45,124 --> 00:10:45,918
Sure.

297
00:10:45,919 --> 00:10:46,286
You know,

298
00:10:46,287 --> 00:10:48,126
I had a little peppermints
schnapps at my prom,

299
00:10:48,127 --> 00:10:49,543
but I hid it from my parents

300
00:10:49,544 --> 00:10:51,859
and I kicked my boyfriend out
before they woke up.

301
00:10:51,994 --> 00:10:53,307
It's called respect.

302
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,123
I'm pregnant.

303
00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:58,478
You're gonna get fat.

304
00:10:59,270 --> 00:11:00,681
You... oh!
I mean...

305
00:11:00,778 --> 00:11:02,861
That's great. It's great!
You're pregnant!

306
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,402
It's great! Congratulations!

307
00:11:05,991 --> 00:11:07,200
It was a surprise.

308
00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:09,230
Yeah, I'll bet.
What did my dad say?

309
00:11:09,231 --> 00:11:10,653
I haven't told him yet.

310
00:11:10,654 --> 00:11:13,930
I worry that he's going to think
it's not such great news.

311
00:11:14,365 --> 00:11:16,399
Ohh, no.
Don't be silly.

312
00:11:16,528 --> 00:11:17,889
He's gonna be thrilled.

313
00:11:19,019 --> 00:11:21,013
I knew he wasn't gonna be thrilled.

314
00:11:21,128 --> 00:11:23,137
And if history was any indication,

315
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,097
he wasn't gonna be able to hide it.

316
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,510
It's a French Canadian
delicacy called poutine.

317
00:11:28,511 --> 00:11:29,461
Mm. Well, it looks like vomit,

318
00:11:29,462 --> 00:11:32,020
so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.

319
00:11:35,374 --> 00:11:36,462
We're here!

320
00:11:38,636 --> 00:11:39,703
What'd you do to your hair?

321
00:11:39,704 --> 00:11:41,046
I thought I'd try
something different.

322
00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:42,268
What, looking old?

323
00:11:45,156 --> 00:11:46,159
I had to get to dad

324
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,642
before he said something
insensitive to Gloria.

325
00:11:50,101 --> 00:11:52,327
But she is gonna get
really fat, though.

326
00:11:54,598 --> 00:11:56,006
Dad, call me back.

327
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,557
I have something
very important to tell you

328
00:11:57,558 --> 00:11:59,343
so when you get home
you don't say something stupid

329
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,536
like you usually do.

330
00:12:00,547 --> 00:12:02,117
Oh, happy birthday.

331
00:12:03,021 --> 00:12:05,087
Yeah. I've gotta say,

332
00:12:05,252 --> 00:12:08,013
you're handling this baby thing
better than I would've expected.

333
00:12:08,014 --> 00:12:08,836
What do you mean?

334
00:12:08,837 --> 00:12:10,743
You're used to being
the only kid in the house.

335
00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:13,849
Now there's gonna be a new kid.
Jay's kid.

336
00:12:13,874 --> 00:12:14,654
So?

337
00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:16,263
Well, the old Manny
would've been worried

338
00:12:16,264 --> 00:12:18,266
That Jay would love
the new kid more.

339
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:20,641
I think you're underestimating
how adorable I am.

340
00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:23,173
You're right.
You're way cuter than a baby.

341
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,954
I'm gonna go check on dinner.

342
00:12:27,103 --> 00:12:30,090
Sometimes I just like to toss
a grenade and run away.

343
00:12:31,552 --> 00:12:32,884
All right, take a whiff.

344
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:33,693
Make sure you like it,

345
00:12:33,694 --> 00:12:35,573
'cause that's what
our couch is gonna smell like.

346
00:12:36,183 --> 00:12:37,986
Okay, hi.
Yes, we're gonna take this one.

347
00:12:37,987 --> 00:12:39,979
Oh, I'm gonna need you
to slow down a bit.

348
00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:41,767
There's a process
we need to go through

349
00:12:41,768 --> 00:12:43,677
to see if you're a suitable
cat guardian.

350
00:12:43,678 --> 00:12:45,149
Oh, really?
Because I thought the process was,

351
00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,069
I say, "We'll take this one."

352
00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:48,035
And then you say, "Thank God
because we have too many cats."

353
00:12:48,036 --> 00:12:50,903
No. We need to ensure these cats
are going to good homes.

354
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,742
That's why we need you
to fill out this form,

355
00:12:52,743 --> 00:12:54,344
And then there'll be a site visit.

356
00:12:54,345 --> 00:12:56,769
Okay, um, we've just been
through a very frustrating year

357
00:12:56,770 --> 00:12:58,629
trying to adopt a baby, so...

358
00:12:58,998 --> 00:13:00,649
You'll forgive us
if we're not really in the mood

359
00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:02,751
to jump through
too many hoops for a cat.

360
00:13:02,752 --> 00:13:04,706
Oh. Why wouldn't they
give you a baby?

361
00:13:04,707 --> 00:13:06,222
- It's complicated.
- So are cats.

362
00:13:06,223 --> 00:13:08,103
Are they? 'cause that one
over there has been licking

363
00:13:08,104 --> 00:13:09,339
itself ever since we got here.

364
00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:11,911
Okay, you know what?
I'm... I can't do this.

365
00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:14,019
What about Larry?

366
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:15,445
I'm sorry, Lily.
Not today.

367
00:13:18,093 --> 00:13:20,166
Mitchell stormed off,
but I couldn't.

368
00:13:20,318 --> 00:13:21,743
I had to give her
a piece of my mind.

369
00:13:21,744 --> 00:13:22,631
And how'd that go?

370
00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:24,719
I may have strayed
off topic just a bit.

371
00:13:24,865 --> 00:13:25,845
No, sir!

372
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:28,278
No, she will always be
Norma Jeane Baker to me.

373
00:13:28,279 --> 00:13:29,590
What is your point, exactly?

374
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,470
That like the
thrice-married starlet,

375
00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:34,386
this cat is being deprived
a stable home.

376
00:13:34,387 --> 00:13:35,756
I'm sorry if you're upset.

377
00:13:35,757 --> 00:13:37,715
You're the one who
should be upset, ma'am.

378
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,039
We are animals lovers.

379
00:13:40,247 --> 00:13:43,116
That cat would've been
on the receiving end of affection

380
00:13:43,117 --> 00:13:44,895
24 hours a day.

381
00:13:44,978 --> 00:13:48,939
Satisfying its every need
would've been our top priority.

382
00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:55,749
Okay, in light of that tableau,

383
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:57,807
I would like to take back
the phrase "receiving end."

384
00:13:58,873 --> 00:14:01,440
Mom, I've decided I'm not
going to poetry camp.

385
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,607
What? Why not?

386
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:03,894
'Cause by the time I come back,

387
00:14:03,895 --> 00:14:05,638
Jay will have turned
my room into a nursery.

388
00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:06,581
No, he won't.

389
00:14:06,582 --> 00:14:07,813
I'm not his real kid.

390
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,474
I'll be as insignificant
as a whisper in a windstorm.

391
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:13,264
Oh, listen to you.
You have a gift.

392
00:14:13,265 --> 00:14:14,753
You have to go
to the poetry camp.

393
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:15,824
I don't think I can risk it.

394
00:14:15,825 --> 00:14:18,453
Manny, please. I have too much
to worry about right now.

395
00:14:18,454 --> 00:14:19,590
- Okay?
- You?

396
00:14:19,591 --> 00:14:21,102
I dug a pretty big hole for myself

397
00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:22,780
with those insult jokes
this morning.

398
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,612
Why didn't I learn from Rickles?

399
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,167
You gotta end with some ticker.

400
00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:29,365
Okay, I give up.

401
00:14:29,366 --> 00:14:31,384
I can't find a position
that's not sexual.

402
00:14:31,531 --> 00:14:33,674
- Just calm down.
- I can't calm down.

403
00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:36,574
You know, maybe we're not
as okay as we keep saying we are.

404
00:14:36,757 --> 00:14:39,239
- I know.
- Maybe we should go away.

405
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,512
You know, go someplace to heal.

406
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:42,538
Where?

407
00:14:42,596 --> 00:14:44,647
Well, someplace with
a vibrant theater scene...

408
00:14:45,581 --> 00:14:47,134
Top-notch restaurants...

409
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,048
The jewel of Missouri's white river.

410
00:14:49,049 --> 00:14:50,228
We're not going to Branson.

411
00:14:50,229 --> 00:14:53,384
Okay, fine.
Where would you go?

412
00:14:53,523 --> 00:14:55,266
I don't know.
Maybe Europe?

413
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:56,174
London?

414
00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:58,077
Just somewhere far away.

415
00:15:00,054 --> 00:15:01,936
- I'm just sad, Cam.
- I am, too.

416
00:15:02,465 --> 00:15:04,507
You know, I had
our mornings all planned out.

417
00:15:05,743 --> 00:15:08,198
The baby and I would
walk Lily to kindergarten

418
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,628
and then cut back home
through the park

419
00:15:09,629 --> 00:15:11,167
and feed those ducks
that you're not supposed to feed

420
00:15:11,168 --> 00:15:12,675
but everybody does.

421
00:15:13,428 --> 00:15:15,067
I bought a picture frame
for my desk,

422
00:15:15,068 --> 00:15:17,086
and it's just sitting there,

423
00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:19,199
waiting for his face.

424
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:20,514
Come here.

425
00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:24,934
I already feel better.

426
00:15:24,935 --> 00:15:25,944
Me, too.

427
00:15:25,945 --> 00:15:27,730
See what the power
of a hug can do?

428
00:15:27,909 --> 00:15:29,821
Just saved us a long
plane ride with a toddler.

429
00:15:29,822 --> 00:15:32,904
- And a cat that we didn't want.
- Oh, we're still getting that.

430
00:15:35,193 --> 00:15:36,843
All right, how does this look?

431
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,714
Perfectly innocent.
They're not even touching.

432
00:15:40,599 --> 00:15:41,988
Great. Okay. Let's go.

433
00:15:41,989 --> 00:15:43,078
All right.

434
00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:44,532
You ready, honey?

435
00:15:49,553 --> 00:15:51,172
Go. Go.

436
00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:53,544
Hey, Mrs. Dunphy?

437
00:15:53,614 --> 00:15:56,202
I heard about what Haley asked you,
and just so you know,

438
00:15:56,203 --> 00:15:58,649
I never wanted
to put you in that position.

439
00:15:58,785 --> 00:16:00,779
- I'll be fine.
- That's good to know.

440
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:04,431
My cousin Dylan said
I could stay at his house.

441
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:06,809
Well, not really at his house.

442
00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:09,338
More like behind it...
In the garage.

443
00:16:09,339 --> 00:16:10,227
Okay.

444
00:16:10,228 --> 00:16:11,810
Well, actually,
there are no walls,

445
00:16:11,811 --> 00:16:13,325
So it's more of a porte cochere.

446
00:16:13,326 --> 00:16:14,300
Fancy.

447
00:16:14,301 --> 00:16:15,880
Anyway, I'll be sleeping in it.

448
00:16:15,881 --> 00:16:17,242
It's got a bathroom.

449
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:19,160
More of a half-bath.

450
00:16:19,161 --> 00:16:20,642
It's a coffee can.

451
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:22,791
- Ohh.
- Anyway, I'll be fine

452
00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:25,295
once I find a nice tent
to protect me from the coyotes.

453
00:16:25,296 --> 00:16:27,482
Well, be sure to hang
your food up high.

454
00:16:28,131 --> 00:16:29,308
We're back!

455
00:16:29,892 --> 00:16:31,364
Birthday boy's here!

456
00:16:31,787 --> 00:16:33,097
Hey, Jay, you're all wrinkled.

457
00:16:33,098 --> 00:16:34,688
Yeah, yeah, I'm old. I get it.

458
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:35,787
No, I mean your clothes.

459
00:16:35,788 --> 00:16:37,640
Yeah, when I was your age,
I was wearing animal skins.

460
00:16:37,641 --> 00:16:38,580
Bam! You got me.

461
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,289
I think, bam!
You got yourself.

462
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,565
I'm just expressing concern.

463
00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:43,406
Let me guess...
about my bone density.

464
00:16:43,407 --> 00:16:44,767
You know,
you're a real smart-ass.

465
00:16:44,768 --> 00:16:47,036
At this rate, I'll be living
in the basement.

466
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,209
Lucky.

467
00:16:48,554 --> 00:16:51,085
Dad? Dad, okay, quick.
Just come here one second.

468
00:16:51,086 --> 00:16:52,000
I gotta tell you something.

469
00:16:52,001 --> 00:16:56,598
Somebody is about to tell you
some very important news.

470
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,227
And for the first time
in your life,

471
00:16:58,228 --> 00:16:59,719
I need you to react nicely.

472
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,323
- I always react nicely.
- You never do.

473
00:17:02,324 --> 00:17:05,327
And this person in question
is very vulnerable right now.

474
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:08,452
So could you please just
be loving and supportive?

475
00:17:08,669 --> 00:17:10,757
- Happy birthday, dad!
- Oh, thank you.

476
00:17:10,758 --> 00:17:12,182
That's a boy.

477
00:17:12,183 --> 00:17:14,480
Sorry we're late,
but it's for a good reason.

478
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,552
We're thinking about
getting a cat.

479
00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:20,806
Well, isn't that wonderful?

480
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,675
I'm thrilled for you both.
This is a heck of a decision.

481
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,238
You have my full support.

482
00:17:27,723 --> 00:17:28,402
Okay.

483
00:17:28,403 --> 00:17:30,326
I think it'll be a perfect
addition to the family.

484
00:17:30,327 --> 00:17:32,528
I know I'll love the heck out
of the little bugger.

485
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,879
I'm just hoping that little one
over there doesn't get jealous.

486
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,432
Oh, this little one
will be just fine

487
00:17:36,433 --> 00:17:37,999
now that he knows
where he stands...

488
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,531
In the shadow of your new baby!

489
00:17:39,532 --> 00:17:40,681
What's he talking about?

490
00:17:40,808 --> 00:17:43,241
He's talking about I am pregnant.

491
00:17:43,242 --> 00:17:45,006
- Oh, come on!
- Pregnant?

492
00:17:45,007 --> 00:17:46,057
You gotta be kidding me!

493
00:17:46,058 --> 00:17:48,286
Oh, gross. I didn't know
grandpa could still do it.

494
00:17:48,287 --> 00:17:49,725
Don't be disrespectful, Luke.

495
00:17:49,726 --> 00:17:51,496
Anyone could do it with Gloria.

496
00:17:51,497 --> 00:17:55,112
And if you're too set in your
old ways to be happy about it,

497
00:17:55,113 --> 00:17:56,487
I can raise it on my own.

498
00:17:56,488 --> 00:17:58,634
I have done it before,
and I can do it now!

499
00:17:58,635 --> 00:18:02,120
I come from a very long line
of strong Latin women

500
00:18:02,121 --> 00:18:04,642
whose husbands
are nowhere to be found!

501
00:18:05,882 --> 00:18:08,075
- Are you done?
- Yes!

502
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,917
- Can I say something?
- Go on!

503
00:18:10,655 --> 00:18:13,378
That's the greatest news
I've ever heard.

504
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:14,859
It is?

505
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:18,197
I spent the day hearing what
my future had in store for me,

506
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,140
and I didn't like one bit of it.

507
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:22,067
It felt like my life was ending.

508
00:18:22,695 --> 00:18:25,306
And now you're telling me
that I get to have a new start...

509
00:18:26,545 --> 00:18:27,843
with the woman of my dreams.

510
00:18:29,989 --> 00:18:31,286
I think I'm gonna cry.

511
00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:32,781
I'm way ahead of you.

512
00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:33,638
Can you believe this?

513
00:18:33,639 --> 00:18:35,779
I know. They wouldn't
even let us get a cat.

514
00:18:36,268 --> 00:18:37,525
It's gonna be great!

515
00:18:37,555 --> 00:18:39,139
I'm gonna get so fat.

516
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:40,429
Mostly great.

517
00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:49,119
Oh, gross.
They're at it again.

518
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,973
If you don't like it, don't look.

519
00:18:52,074 --> 00:18:53,602
She looks great, doesn't she?

520
00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:54,787
Yeah.

521
00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:57,390
Not really gaining weight
the way I would've expected.

522
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,140
I finally understand why people
say pregnant women glow.

523
00:19:00,491 --> 00:19:02,341
Phil, I have had three children.

524
00:19:02,623 --> 00:19:04,992
Hey, dad, Gloria,
open our present.

525
00:19:04,993 --> 00:19:08,073
Ooh! I hope it's something fancy.

526
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:11,139
It's for the baby. I love it!

527
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:14,646
We got it in a shop
at Heathrow, duty free.

528
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,649
Not for long.

529
00:19:16,963 --> 00:19:18,344
Isn't it absolutely brilliant?

530
00:19:18,345 --> 00:19:20,962
Okay, we were in London two weeks.
Lose the accent, Madonna.

531
00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:22,709
Why is your face all scratched up?

532
00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:23,989
Stupid Larry.

533
00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:25,490
This feels so weird.

534
00:19:25,491 --> 00:19:26,619
It suits you.

535
00:19:26,737 --> 00:19:28,722
Don't even joke about it.

536
00:19:29,353 --> 00:19:31,796
That's it. He is moving out
of the house tomorrow.

537
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:32,960
Really?

538
00:19:32,961 --> 00:19:34,475
Oh, and that beard is going.

539
00:19:34,595 --> 00:19:37,406
Fine, but it's gonna kill Shorty.

540
00:19:38,151 --> 00:19:40,285
Okay, everybody,
let's gather together.

541
00:19:40,286 --> 00:19:42,694
Manny's gonna read us
a little something

542
00:19:42,695 --> 00:19:44,910
that he prepare
in his poetry camp.

543
00:19:44,911 --> 00:19:46,040
Thank you, mom.

544
00:19:46,163 --> 00:19:48,541
This is for my new
baby brother or sister.

545
00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:51,144
"Welcome, little one.

546
00:19:51,442 --> 00:19:53,535
Open your eyes and take your place.

547
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,251
This is where you're meant to be,

548
00:19:55,315 --> 00:19:57,221
Nestled in the bosom
of your mother."

549
00:19:57,222 --> 00:19:58,245
Lucky baby.

550
00:19:58,246 --> 00:20:00,288
- What?
- Love you, baby.

551
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,554
"This is where you're meant to be,

552
00:20:02,555 --> 00:20:04,141
in the arms of your father.

553
00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:07,297
His long, long journey
has readied him for this day,

554
00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:09,538
though his skin may be loose,

555
00:20:09,539 --> 00:20:10,973
his hair but a wisp,

556
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,668
and his eyes milky with age,"

557
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,877
All right, we're done here.

558
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,090
Get a drink.

559
00:20:17,908 --> 00:20:20,494
Don't feel bad about
making move out, Mrs. D.

560
00:20:20,518 --> 00:20:21,816
I knew this day
would come eventually,

561
00:20:21,817 --> 00:20:23,209
and I'm totally covered.

562
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,966
Great. So we'll see you around.

563
00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:26,792
I got a place with
an old friend of mine.

564
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:30,044
Well, not so much
of a place as a storage pod.

565
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:33,232
And not so much of a...
friend as a raccoon.

566
00:20:33,239 --> 00:20:34,768
Good to know you'll have company.

567
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:37,733
I call him bubbles because
his mouth is all foamy.

568
00:20:37,734 --> 00:20:39,796
Dylan, I'm on to your little game.

569
00:20:39,797 --> 00:20:40,936
I know non of this is true.

570
00:20:40,937 --> 00:20:43,040
You just try to guilt me
into I letting you stay.

571
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:45,243
You're right, I'm sorry.

572
00:20:45,308 --> 00:20:46,958
I'll just live in my car.

573
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:48,732
Think I can borrow a coat hanger

574
00:20:48,733 --> 00:20:50,715
in case I get lock in there again.

575
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,325
- God.
- What's going on?

576
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,689
No, no no.
All of it.

577
00:20:54,690 --> 00:20:58,101
Sure you don't wanna dance
with the devil before I get rid of it.

578
00:20:58,102 --> 00:20:58,944
Go.

579
00:20:59,194 --> 00:21:00,387
Fine.

580
00:21:00,587 --> 00:21:01,788
Synced by YYeTs, corrections by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com