1
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:06,610
Why are there giant lollipops
all over the front yard?

2
00:00:06,810 --> 00:00:08,010
And why do they taste so bad?

3
00:00:08,210 --> 00:00:10,110
Because they're made out
of cardboard, mouth-breather.

4
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,610
Hey! The world needs
more dreamers, Luke.

5
00:00:12,810 --> 00:00:14,010
Never stop licking things.

6
00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:17,410
I know it's lame, but after last year,
we promised the neighbours

7
00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:20,110
we would keep our decorations
more "family friendly".

8
00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:21,310
We can't even carve a pumpkin?

9
00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:22,810
The petition was very specific.

10
00:00:23,495 --> 00:00:25,715
Every Halloween,
we have the best house.

11
00:00:25,915 --> 00:00:28,415
Last year, I took things
to a whole new level.

12
00:00:28,615 --> 00:00:30,615
But, apparently, it was
too scary for some kids...

13
00:00:31,443 --> 00:00:32,493
And one adult.

14
00:00:34,676 --> 00:00:36,541
Trick-or-treat!

15
00:00:36,542 --> 00:00:38,462
Would you like some candy?

16
00:00:38,463 --> 00:00:39,842
Yeah!

17
00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:42,910
Or would you rather have this?

18
00:00:54,568 --> 00:00:56,033
Come on. You're fine.

19
00:00:57,143 --> 00:00:58,235
I don't care what anyone says.

20
00:00:58,236 --> 00:01:00,119
You did not give
that man a heart attack.

21
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:00,835
Thank you.

22
00:01:00,836 --> 00:01:02,622
I mean, you're not even scary.

23
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,119
Can I grab a little bit
of this candy

24
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,195
for my open house tonight?

25
00:01:05,196 --> 00:01:06,494
Uh, yeah, sure, but...

26
00:01:06,495 --> 00:01:09,738
It's genius.
An open house on Halloween.

27
00:01:10,575 --> 00:01:11,714
Millions of bored parents

28
00:01:11,715 --> 00:01:14,341
just trying to keep their...
kids out of traffic.

29
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:15,795
Now they can get away
from all that,

30
00:01:15,796 --> 00:01:17,520
and see a nice house.

31
00:01:17,521 --> 00:01:19,519
What do you mean,
I'm not even scary?

32
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,521
I literally almost scared
the life out of a man.

33
00:01:22,522 --> 00:01:24,567
You literally scared
a little saliva

34
00:01:24,568 --> 00:01:25,821
and a little urine out of him.

35
00:01:25,822 --> 00:01:27,405
That happens to me
every time I see a monkey

36
00:01:27,406 --> 00:01:28,802
wearing people clothes.

37
00:01:28,803 --> 00:01:29,974
I was plenty scary.

38
00:01:29,975 --> 00:01:31,683
I used professional-grade makeup.

39
00:01:31,684 --> 00:01:34,679
That's the point, Claire.
It was overkill.

40
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,362
You're the kind of person
who can be twice as scary

41
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,822
without wearing any makeup.
Bye.

42
00:01:48,197 --> 00:01:51,697
Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com

43
00:01:52,468 --> 00:01:54,010
You remembered to pick up
the costumes, right?

44
00:01:54,011 --> 00:01:55,050
Yes, they're right over there.

45
00:01:55,051 --> 00:01:55,935
Very excited.

46
00:01:55,936 --> 00:01:57,711
Cam has lost a lot of weight—

47
00:01:57,712 --> 00:01:58,402
No.

48
00:01:58,403 --> 00:02:00,202
So we're throwing a Halloween party

49
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,438
to debut the new him.

50
00:02:01,439 --> 00:02:03,433
I'll be dressed as a matador.

51
00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:05,275
Wh-what is it now, 30?

52
00:02:05,276 --> 00:02:07,508
- 32.4.
- Ah.

53
00:02:07,548 --> 00:02:08,981
So I've lost Lily.

54
00:02:10,186 --> 00:02:11,536
- Where is Lily?
- Hmm?

55
00:02:11,537 --> 00:02:12,866
- Do you— you don't have her?
- No.

56
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:15,030
- Why would I have her? I don't
have her in my pocket. - Cam?

57
00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:16,503
What about the tiara?

58
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:17,444
Uh, we didn't buy one.

59
00:02:17,445 --> 00:02:18,967
You can just use
the one from last year.

60
00:02:18,968 --> 00:02:20,079
Are we poor?

61
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,239
No, sweetheart, but
you don't need two tiaras.

62
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,533
How 'bout next Halloween
you try a different costume?

63
00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:27,726
No. I have to be a princess.

64
00:02:27,727 --> 00:02:29,081
Every year? Why?

65
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,973
Because my mom's a princess,

66
00:02:30,974 --> 00:02:32,961
just like you told me.

67
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,958
Cam and I have always
known that someday,

68
00:02:35,959 --> 00:02:38,006
we were gonna have to have
the big talk with Lily

69
00:02:38,007 --> 00:02:40,257
about who her mom was.

70
00:02:40,679 --> 00:02:42,620
We—we were gonna
pick the right time

71
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,460
and do it together,

72
00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:47,079
carefully following
an agreed-upon script.

73
00:02:48,541 --> 00:02:50,151
Then I got tired.

74
00:02:50,542 --> 00:02:52,414
"And she was the most
beautiful princess

75
00:02:52,415 --> 00:02:55,849
in all the land. The end."

76
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,481
Again.

77
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,130
Why is Tyler's mommy so fat?

78
00:03:02,072 --> 00:03:05,066
Oh, that's because she has—
she has a baby in her belly.

79
00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,277
Okay? Good night.

80
00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:09,780
Was I in my mom's belly?

81
00:03:09,931 --> 00:03:11,325
Lily, no more questions, all right?

82
00:03:11,326 --> 00:03:12,747
Just— just go to sleep.

83
00:03:13,156 --> 00:03:15,261
Where's my mom now?

84
00:03:15,604 --> 00:03:17,405
Um, she's...

85
00:03:17,715 --> 00:03:19,852
In a faraway land.

86
00:03:20,262 --> 00:03:21,518
Why?

87
00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:24,243
Because she's a princess.

88
00:03:24,244 --> 00:03:27,452
And she's... very, very busy.

89
00:03:28,579 --> 00:03:30,030
Okay.

90
00:03:30,355 --> 00:03:32,229
I thought that she'd forget
about it by the next morning.

91
00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:33,857
I mean, I did.

92
00:03:34,327 --> 00:03:35,919
Oh, I knew I was
gonna have to tell Cam,

93
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,212
and he was gonna be furious,

94
00:03:37,213 --> 00:03:39,750
but I was hoping that
he'd see the bigger issue.

95
00:03:39,916 --> 00:03:43,078
You know, I was really tired.

96
00:03:44,219 --> 00:03:45,786
Hey, Cam, you know
this whole thing

97
00:03:45,787 --> 00:03:48,010
about Lily wanting
to be a princess again?

98
00:03:48,011 --> 00:03:49,770
Well, I-I think it might be
because I let her believe

99
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,157
- her mother was—
- This is a nightmare.

100
00:03:52,158 --> 00:03:55,225
- It was just a mistake.
- More like a disaster.

101
00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:58,138
They sent the matador costume
in your size,

102
00:03:58,295 --> 00:04:00,186
and the bull costume in mine.

103
00:04:00,187 --> 00:04:01,578
Oh. I didn't notice. Um...

104
00:04:01,579 --> 00:04:03,167
Now no one's gonna see my bod

105
00:04:03,168 --> 00:04:05,286
in this bulky bull costume.

106
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,067
It was— it was honestly a mistake.

107
00:04:07,068 --> 00:04:09,416
L-listen, um, you—you could do
that other thing that you thought of.

108
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,063
You could put on
that gorgeous white suit

109
00:04:11,064 --> 00:04:12,929
that fits you so well now,

110
00:04:13,112 --> 00:04:14,294
and you could be Mr. Roarke,

111
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:15,847
and Lily could be your tattoo.

112
00:04:15,848 --> 00:04:18,070
No! I have to be a princess!

113
00:04:18,071 --> 00:04:19,882
Oh, but, Lily,
you were a princess last year.

114
00:04:19,883 --> 00:04:23,316
No! You promised!
I'm being a princess!

115
00:04:24,186 --> 00:04:26,853
Why is she so obsessed
with princesses?

116
00:04:26,882 --> 00:04:27,822
Well...

117
00:04:28,948 --> 00:04:30,722
Like we weren't at that age?

118
00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:31,741
I mean...

119
00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:35,410
I'm not mad about the ticket.

120
00:04:35,411 --> 00:04:37,130
It's just the first time
I couldn't charm my way

121
00:04:37,131 --> 00:04:38,529
out of one of these things.

122
00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:40,429
The way I see it,
it's not a ticket.

123
00:04:40,691 --> 00:04:42,094
It's a conversation.

124
00:04:42,418 --> 00:04:43,905
No offense.
You don't need that siren.

125
00:04:43,906 --> 00:04:46,417
You could stop traffic just
getting out of that squad car.

126
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:48,475
License and registration, please.

127
00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:49,994
I, uh...

128
00:04:50,847 --> 00:04:53,170
I'm no stranger
to the police academy myself.

129
00:04:53,171 --> 00:04:54,378
Seen all seven of them.

130
00:04:54,379 --> 00:04:56,299
Sir, no one's seen all seven.

131
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:58,373
- Is this information accurate?
- Yeah.

132
00:04:58,397 --> 00:05:00,055
Uh, except for the weight.

133
00:05:00,056 --> 00:05:02,709
I thought they wanted to know
how much I could curl.

134
00:05:03,829 --> 00:05:05,766
I must be getting rusty
with my moves.

135
00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:06,934
Moves? What moves?

136
00:05:06,935 --> 00:05:08,447
You know, flash the baby blues,

137
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:10,153
hit 'em with the devilish grin.

138
00:05:10,223 --> 00:05:11,570
In case of emergency, break glass

139
00:05:11,571 --> 00:05:12,930
and bust out the dimple.

140
00:05:12,931 --> 00:05:15,253
Hey, isn't that one
from the smallpox?

141
00:05:15,254 --> 00:05:17,678
'Cause I'm 100. Chicken pox.

142
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,817
And it doesn't matter
where it's from.

143
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,284
It always worked.

144
00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:21,246
Hey, mom.

145
00:05:21,247 --> 00:05:23,506
Manny, why are you coming back
from school so late?

146
00:05:23,507 --> 00:05:24,922
I got sent to the principal's office.

147
00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:26,773
Oh. I am sending him
an angry e-mail,

148
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:29,023
- because I don't like when—
- No, no, no. It's not his fault.

149
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,103
- What did you do wrong?
- Nothing.

150
00:05:31,104 --> 00:05:32,548
Oh, that's it. I'm calling him.

151
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,829
- I hate when he tries to—
- Nothing on purpose.

152
00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,682
It was between periods,
right before this big test.

153
00:05:37,683 --> 00:05:39,290
I was clearing my mind
by practicing

154
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:40,814
some of my Gene Kelly dance moves.

155
00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:42,712
- As one does.
- Right.

156
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:45,415
And my umbrella accidentally
snagged the fire alarm.

157
00:05:45,416 --> 00:05:46,770
The principal thought
I did it on purpose

158
00:05:46,771 --> 00:05:48,841
- so we'd miss the test.
- But you didn't!

159
00:05:48,842 --> 00:05:50,114
That's it!
I'm going to his house!

160
00:05:50,115 --> 00:05:52,250
Mom!
You gotta stop doing this.

161
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,607
I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy,

162
00:05:53,608 --> 00:05:55,905
which we both know
isn't your fault...

163
00:05:58,008 --> 00:05:59,371
But lately you've been
such a hothead.

164
00:05:59,372 --> 00:06:02,181
I am not a hothead!
I am Colombian.

165
00:06:02,182 --> 00:06:03,192
We get excited.

166
00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:05,515
My country is covered in coffee.

167
00:06:05,516 --> 00:06:07,699
Just like the Starbucks girl when
she got your order wrong?

168
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,735
Half-caf, non-fat wet soy latte.

169
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:12,001
How hard is that to hear?

170
00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:22,378
You don't get to be
2-time nonconsecutive

171
00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:25,142
district salesman of the year
without thinking inside the box.

172
00:06:25,143 --> 00:06:27,650
That's right.
I said "inside."

173
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:28,870
You know why?
'Cause while everyone's

174
00:06:28,871 --> 00:06:30,756
chasing each other around
outside the box,

175
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,335
you know what the box is?

176
00:06:33,605 --> 00:06:34,671
Empty.

177
00:06:35,493 --> 00:06:38,486
Which brings us back
to our formal dining room.

178
00:06:38,487 --> 00:06:39,854
Now any questions?

179
00:06:39,855 --> 00:06:41,527
Can we have our candy now?

180
00:06:41,528 --> 00:06:42,599
Just as soon as we go over

181
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,290
what you're gonna
tell your parents.

182
00:06:44,295 --> 00:06:47,630
- Now what was our style?
- Pre-war craftsman.

183
00:06:47,631 --> 00:06:49,514
Good, good.
And how many square feet?

184
00:06:49,515 --> 00:06:52,358
3,500.

185
00:06:53,515 --> 00:06:55,138
Still no trick-or-treaters?

186
00:06:55,139 --> 00:06:58,685
- Not yet. - Well, maybe people
are going out later this year.

187
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,291
Well, the street's full of kids,

188
00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:03,165
but they're actively
detouring around our house.

189
00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:04,799
Move along.

190
00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:13,833
Who wants some candy?

191
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,478
Plenty of name-brand...

192
00:07:15,479 --> 00:07:18,026
- Family-friendly candy right here.
- Oh! - It's a trap!

193
00:07:18,027 --> 00:07:20,801
No. I— Ooh, how about you? Hey—

194
00:07:20,802 --> 00:07:22,298
You want some candy, right?
Come on,

195
00:07:22,299 --> 00:07:23,606
- have some candy!
- Mom! Mommy, she's got me!

196
00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:25,114
No, I don't— I'm not trying—

197
00:07:25,115 --> 00:07:27,333
- My candy!
- Just leave it!

198
00:07:36,461 --> 00:07:39,444
Jay, you have to get ready
for Mitch and Cam's party.

199
00:07:39,445 --> 00:07:42,822
Gloria, does my skin
look looser to you?

200
00:07:42,823 --> 00:07:43,746
What?

201
00:07:43,815 --> 00:07:45,850
Maybe I should try some of that
fancy neck cream of yours.

202
00:07:45,851 --> 00:07:48,925
Don't you have some with specks
of diamonds in it or something?

203
00:07:49,346 --> 00:07:50,715
- Trick-or-treat.
- Trick-or-treat.

204
00:07:50,716 --> 00:07:52,789
You guys don't even have costumes.

205
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:53,955
I'm a skeleton.

206
00:07:53,956 --> 00:07:55,198
And I'm—I'm a lemon.

207
00:07:55,199 --> 00:07:56,878
Aren't you too old
to be trick-or-treating?

208
00:07:56,879 --> 00:07:58,952
Aren't you too old
to be having a baby?

209
00:07:59,615 --> 00:08:01,680
Ah, you find that funny, lemon?

210
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,190
Here's a better joke.

211
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,378
Knock, knock. What's gone?

212
00:08:05,956 --> 00:08:07,966
Your candy!

213
00:08:10,884 --> 00:08:11,514
What was that?

214
00:08:11,515 --> 00:08:13,044
Some rude dummies,
that they think that they can—

215
00:08:13,045 --> 00:08:15,822
All right, listen.
Let's just calm down.

216
00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:17,942
Get ready for the party.

217
00:08:17,943 --> 00:08:19,454
Calm down what? Huh?

218
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,385
You think I'm a hothead, like Manny?

219
00:08:21,386 --> 00:08:22,418
No!

220
00:08:22,775 --> 00:08:25,774
You can be emotional.
Volatile, maybe.

221
00:08:25,775 --> 00:08:28,009
Still, that's a far cry from—

222
00:08:28,066 --> 00:08:29,706
You put egg on my house,

223
00:08:29,707 --> 00:08:31,816
I kill what you love!

224
00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:33,599
Psycho.

225
00:08:34,443 --> 00:08:36,130
- Plush utility room?
- Yeah, right.

226
00:08:36,131 --> 00:08:37,770
I know a hall closet when I see one.

227
00:08:37,771 --> 00:08:39,249
And your dad never lies?

228
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:39,982
What medical school

229
00:08:39,983 --> 00:08:41,917
did the great appliance doctor attend?

230
00:08:41,918 --> 00:08:44,222
- Hey, Delgado.
- Oh, no! Durkas!

231
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:45,582
What I wouldn't give
for this umbrella to have

232
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:46,670
Mary Poppins' powers.

233
00:08:46,671 --> 00:08:48,515
Oh, I pray he didn't hear that.

234
00:08:48,516 --> 00:08:49,710
Heard you pulled
the fire alarm today

235
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:51,209
and got us out of that test.

236
00:08:51,408 --> 00:08:53,107
- Good job.
- Thanks, Mr. Durkas.

237
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:55,581
You know what? You don't need
to call me that anymore.

238
00:08:55,714 --> 00:08:57,507
Anyway, we're all meeting
at the playground at 8:00

239
00:08:57,508 --> 00:08:59,020
and heading out,
if you want to join.

240
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:00,807
You're totally going to that.

241
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,590
Yeah, if you want
to ruin your reputation.

242
00:09:02,591 --> 00:09:04,294
You're finally gonna be in
with the cool kids.

243
00:09:04,295 --> 00:09:05,650
You need to talk
at the school assembly

244
00:09:05,651 --> 00:09:08,032
on Monday and apologize
to all the teachers.

245
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:10,369
Teachers.
More like public sector parasites.

246
00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:13,718
- Be strong, Manny.
- Be smart. Adventures, parties.

247
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:14,938
Juvie, heartache.

248
00:09:14,939 --> 00:09:15,670
Girls!

249
00:09:15,671 --> 00:09:17,203
But not the kind we want.

250
00:09:17,204 --> 00:09:18,813
They're all the kind we want.

251
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:20,093
Mr. Dur—

252
00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:21,629
Conrad!

253
00:09:24,099 --> 00:09:26,510
Take one. I'm an egg donor.

254
00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:29,653
I love your costume, too, Cam.
Adora-bull.

255
00:09:29,654 --> 00:09:31,535
Oh, well, thank you.
It's all in fun.

256
00:09:31,536 --> 00:09:32,898
I half-wanted to wear
something tighter.

257
00:09:32,899 --> 00:09:34,687
- You know, I've been reducing.
- I can see.

258
00:09:34,688 --> 00:09:36,961
- Well, you say it like you can't.
- No, no, no. I totally can.

259
00:09:39,527 --> 00:09:41,024
Impressive, huh?

260
00:09:41,191 --> 00:09:43,137
Yeah. I'm—I'm gonna...

261
00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:45,505
- Hey, Cam.
- Mm?

262
00:09:45,616 --> 00:09:47,470
I'm hearing a rumor that
you keep flashing our guests.

263
00:09:47,471 --> 00:09:49,083
Oh, well, not in a perverted way.

264
00:09:49,084 --> 00:09:50,627
I just want people to see my body

265
00:09:50,628 --> 00:09:52,282
under this stupid costume.

266
00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:54,236
That's very close
to what actual flashers say.

267
00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:55,770
- Daddy?
- Yeah, one second, honey.

268
00:09:55,771 --> 00:09:57,006
I'm just tired
of throwing out compliments

269
00:09:57,007 --> 00:09:57,919
and not getting anything back.

270
00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,682
I told Roberto
his spray tan looked real.

271
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:02,268
Look for yourself.
It's on two of our pillows and our cat.

272
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,723
- Daddy.
- Yeah?

273
00:10:03,724 --> 00:10:06,322
Look it. It's my mommy. She came.

274
00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:08,630
Oh. Oh, no, honey,
that's not your mommy.

275
00:10:08,631 --> 00:10:11,703
- It's not? - No, no. That's
just one of daddy's friends.

276
00:10:11,704 --> 00:10:12,786
- What's going on?
- Oh, nothing.

277
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:14,121
She just wants
one of these cupcakes.

278
00:10:14,122 --> 00:10:15,902
- But I already had—
- Oh, there you go, honey.

279
00:10:15,903 --> 00:10:18,121
Okay, off you go.
Mingle! Mingle!

280
00:10:21,839 --> 00:10:23,443
Looks like some people came by.

281
00:10:23,444 --> 00:10:25,082
Yeah. Oh, yeah, we had a few.

282
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,327
I saw that.

283
00:10:28,347 --> 00:10:29,030
Hello?

284
00:10:29,031 --> 00:10:30,256
Hey, honey.

285
00:10:30,808 --> 00:10:32,641
Hi. How's your open house?

286
00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:34,990
Pretty empty, actually.

287
00:10:34,991 --> 00:10:37,497
I kind of just took it out
on a Harry Potter.

288
00:10:37,616 --> 00:10:38,734
Seriously, though, a Gryffindor

289
00:10:38,735 --> 00:10:40,414
letting his mom carry
his Quidditch broom?

290
00:10:40,415 --> 00:10:41,927
How Hufflepuff is that?

291
00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:43,441
It's pretty lonely here, too.

292
00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:45,237
We have been shunned
by the whole neighborhood.

293
00:10:45,238 --> 00:10:46,150
That's ridiculous.

294
00:10:46,151 --> 00:10:49,009
All over some mild
little gag you pulled?

295
00:10:49,639 --> 00:10:52,648
It was not mild.
There was an investig—

296
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,013
Oh, I-I thought I heard someone.

297
00:10:56,014 --> 00:10:58,985
I guess it was just trees
tapping against the window.

298
00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:02,110
It's pretty creepy over here
in this rattly old house.

299
00:11:02,964 --> 00:11:05,014
Anyway, I'll probably
give it another 30 minutes,

300
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:06,500
- then I'll see you at home.
- Okay.

301
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:07,500
Bye.

302
00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:10,099
What are you laughing about?

303
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,397
Oh, it's just your poor dad,
you know.

304
00:11:12,928 --> 00:11:14,681
Your poor, dumb dad.

305
00:11:24,463 --> 00:11:25,574
I'll fill you in at the staff meeting

306
00:11:25,575 --> 00:11:28,993
after Keneally's done telling us
about his morning commute.

307
00:11:29,307 --> 00:11:31,720
That's hilarious!
You sound just like him.

308
00:11:31,721 --> 00:11:34,374
You are so doing that
at Christmas talent night.

309
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:37,065
Dude, "rich girl,"Sara smile"...

310
00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:39,254
Then a "maneater" encore.

311
00:11:39,475 --> 00:11:41,717
It was scary how good they were.

312
00:11:41,796 --> 00:11:43,876
Close your eyes,
it could have been the real band.

313
00:11:44,363 --> 00:11:46,134
Yeah, he got lucky
in the football pool once,

314
00:11:46,135 --> 00:11:48,230
and now he wants
to double the stakes.

315
00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:50,562
Oh, I'm so scared!

316
00:11:50,999 --> 00:11:52,257
Right?

317
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,009
Well, this night was a bust.

318
00:11:55,066 --> 00:11:57,105
Not a single person even...

319
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:00,836
Or did I speak too soon?

320
00:12:01,451 --> 00:12:04,582
Was someone in the mood
to be a bad little ghoul?

321
00:12:05,066 --> 00:12:07,797
Oh, Connie, I didn't mean you.

322
00:12:07,851 --> 00:12:11,205
I'm— hey, that's just—
that's just the divorce talking.

323
00:12:11,771 --> 00:12:12,997
Hang in there.

324
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,229
Bye-bye.

325
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:26,806
Well, someone decided to take a trip

326
00:12:26,807 --> 00:12:28,410
to fantasy island after all.

327
00:12:28,411 --> 00:12:30,069
Well, I'm tired of people
not noticing my new physique.

328
00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,346
If this doesn't work,
I'm breaking out the diaper

329
00:12:31,347 --> 00:12:32,938
and top hat and going
as baby new year! Hello.

330
00:12:32,939 --> 00:12:35,150
Oh, my God!

331
00:12:35,151 --> 00:12:37,590
John-John, is that you?

332
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,823
- You look amazing.
- Thanks!

333
00:12:39,824 --> 00:12:41,906
That's what happens
when you lose 100 pounds.

334
00:12:41,907 --> 00:12:43,281
Oh, come on. What a—

335
00:12:43,282 --> 00:12:44,573
- Who wants to lift me?
- Me.

336
00:12:44,574 --> 00:12:47,076
- Come on.
- How could he have not called us?

337
00:12:47,077 --> 00:12:49,202
Oh, my God,
he's as light as a feather.

338
00:12:49,219 --> 00:12:50,746
You know what?
I'm gonna go lift him

339
00:12:50,747 --> 00:12:53,225
- and shake him till his staples pop.
- Cam, stop!

340
00:12:53,226 --> 00:12:55,310
Just saying that we could
have caught those kids.

341
00:12:55,311 --> 00:12:57,114
What, and chase them
around all night?

342
00:12:57,115 --> 00:13:00,470
I'm not a young man anymore,
as the world keeps pointing out.

343
00:13:00,471 --> 00:13:01,995
What did that waiter
just call you outside?

344
00:13:01,996 --> 00:13:03,717
Medieval knievel.

345
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,271
That is hilarious.

346
00:13:05,272 --> 00:13:07,118
I love when people put
some thought into their outfit.

347
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,042
Illegal alien, sugar daddy.

348
00:13:09,043 --> 00:13:10,377
Why do you say "illegal"?

349
00:13:10,378 --> 00:13:12,026
Because antennas are alien,
and you're—

350
00:13:12,027 --> 00:13:13,543
What? Illegal?

351
00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:15,601
Because of the color of my skin?

352
00:13:15,602 --> 00:13:18,466
Why don't I dump
your baby in your gas tank?

353
00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:20,393
Gloria!
Uh, no hard feelings, please.

354
00:13:20,394 --> 00:13:22,069
Just enjoy the party, okay?

355
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,631
First of all, relax.
We're at a party.

356
00:13:24,632 --> 00:13:26,958
Secondly, you've been deported twice.

357
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:29,385
You're not allowed
to be that defensive.

358
00:13:29,487 --> 00:13:31,294
What is it with me lately?

359
00:13:31,295 --> 00:13:33,194
Manny's right.
I'm such a hothead.

360
00:13:33,195 --> 00:13:35,173
It happens. You're pregnant.

361
00:13:35,963 --> 00:13:37,684
That's what it is, isn't it?

362
00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:41,214
It's the baby.
It's angry in there.

363
00:13:41,215 --> 00:13:42,496
- No!
- Yes!

364
00:13:42,497 --> 00:13:45,846
You just said it yourself.
I have changed.

365
00:13:45,847 --> 00:13:48,682
I have an angry baby inside of me
making me do bad things!

366
00:13:48,683 --> 00:13:50,430
It's just hormones.

367
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,134
It's your mama bear
instinct kicking in.

368
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:54,062
And that's a good thing,
because that means

369
00:13:54,063 --> 00:13:56,842
you're gonna be
a great mom—again.

370
00:13:58,383 --> 00:13:59,362
Do you really think so?

371
00:13:59,363 --> 00:14:00,806
You got a lucky little kid in there.

372
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,985
He's got a mom who's not gonna
let anyone harm him.

373
00:14:04,215 --> 00:14:05,297
Or her.

374
00:14:06,199 --> 00:14:07,401
Or—or him.

375
00:14:07,402 --> 00:14:08,876
- Trick-or-treat.
- Trick-or-treat.

376
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:14,653
Go ahead.

377
00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:16,334
You better run!

378
00:14:19,011 --> 00:14:19,539
Oh, my gosh,

379
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:21,422
is that the most precious thing
you've ever seen?

380
00:14:21,423 --> 00:14:22,729
Oh, my God.

381
00:14:23,455 --> 00:14:25,566
Do you know other princesses?

382
00:14:25,567 --> 00:14:26,962
Trust me. I know lots.

383
00:14:26,963 --> 00:14:28,119
Okay. Bedtime.

384
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,546
Oh, no, it's not that late.

385
00:14:29,547 --> 00:14:32,296
Do you know my mom?
She's a princess.

386
00:14:32,297 --> 00:14:33,210
She's exhausted.

387
00:14:33,211 --> 00:14:35,050
She's not making sense.
She's so tired.

388
00:14:35,051 --> 00:14:36,602
Daddy, you told me!

389
00:14:36,603 --> 00:14:38,134
What is she talking about, Mitchell?

390
00:14:38,135 --> 00:14:40,439
My real mom. She is, right?

391
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,801
Okay, I think we need
to have a little talk.

392
00:14:43,198 --> 00:14:45,259
Sam, do you notice
how slim Cam's getting?

393
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,606
Nice try.
I will be back for that answer.

394
00:14:51,899 --> 00:14:53,493
This isn't gonna work, Claire...

395
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:55,781
'Cause I know you're here.

396
00:14:58,155 --> 00:14:59,861
What's the plan, anyway?

397
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:01,909
You gonna pop out at me?

398
00:15:02,283 --> 00:15:03,854
It's gonna take more
than that to scare this—

399
00:15:03,855 --> 00:15:05,482
- Hello?
- Hi!

400
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:09,487
- Is the house still open?
- Oh, yes! Yes! I'll be right down.

401
00:15:09,488 --> 00:15:11,482
Claire, this is serious!
I have a job!

402
00:15:11,824 --> 00:15:13,419
Not that you don't.
You work 24/7

403
00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:15,149
and you don't get
half the appreciation you deserve.

404
00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,647
Can we talk about this later?

405
00:15:16,924 --> 00:15:19,086
As you potential buyers can see,

406
00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:21,483
this is a, uh, a beautiful home.

407
00:15:21,484 --> 00:15:23,408
- What's behind here?
- Oh, I wouldn't go in there!

408
00:15:24,182 --> 00:15:27,425
Unless you love
formal dining rooms.

409
00:15:28,491 --> 00:15:30,122
- Honey, look at this.
- I'm in the kitchen.

410
00:15:30,123 --> 00:15:32,484
Oh, we should probably
stay together.

411
00:15:32,675 --> 00:15:33,805
Come on, Sheila.

412
00:15:34,447 --> 00:15:35,755
- Phil, one question. Are these—
- Wait, wait.

413
00:15:35,756 --> 00:15:37,574
I just love to see
people's reactions

414
00:15:37,575 --> 00:15:38,614
when I show them—

415
00:15:38,615 --> 00:15:41,473
so much storage.
What? It's crazy!

416
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,452
I think you guys will
find that this house

417
00:15:43,453 --> 00:15:46,903
is full of so many...
delightful surprises

418
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,326
that you'll be happy here for—

419
00:15:48,327 --> 00:15:50,305
- Oh, my God!
- I don't know her!

420
00:15:50,455 --> 00:15:51,914
Is this the original tub?

421
00:15:51,915 --> 00:15:54,044
What?
Yes, it is.

422
00:15:54,045 --> 00:15:55,695
It is, uh, the original tub.

423
00:15:55,696 --> 00:15:57,984
Um, original fixtures,
beveled mirror,

424
00:15:57,985 --> 00:15:59,686
just a-a huge stall shower

425
00:15:59,687 --> 00:16:01,858
if you guys would, uh,
want to have a party.

426
00:16:01,859 --> 00:16:03,069
I'm kidding, of course.

427
00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:06,617
But, um, just a house
with a real personality.

428
00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:11,209
We'll be right in, sweetie.

429
00:16:11,451 --> 00:16:13,330
We agreed to tell Lily
about her mother together,

430
00:16:13,331 --> 00:16:14,529
wearing calming earth tones,

431
00:16:14,530 --> 00:16:16,394
and we agreed
to tell her the truth.

432
00:16:16,395 --> 00:16:18,487
I know, but haven't you ever
said something dumb to Lily

433
00:16:18,488 --> 00:16:19,903
that you wish
she would just forget?

434
00:16:19,904 --> 00:16:22,278
This isn't about me.
Let's just fix this.

435
00:16:22,279 --> 00:16:24,144
Okay, great.
Although...

436
00:16:24,888 --> 00:16:26,330
The way you agreed
so quickly makes me wonder

437
00:16:26,331 --> 00:16:27,928
what sort of things
you've told her.

438
00:16:27,929 --> 00:16:29,985
I may have told her
her fibs kills birds.

439
00:16:30,263 --> 00:16:32,529
Wow. We're coming back to that one.

440
00:16:33,816 --> 00:16:35,066
Oh, hi, princess.

441
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,426
Hey, Lil.
Could we talk to you for a second?

442
00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:38,688
Am I in trouble?

443
00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:41,483
Oh, gosh, no.
Of course not, sweetie.

444
00:16:41,825 --> 00:16:44,458
Um... well, do you remember
how we used to tell you

445
00:16:44,459 --> 00:16:46,670
there was a heaven
for all the flowers that die?

446
00:16:46,671 --> 00:16:47,843
What do you mean, "used to"?

447
00:16:47,844 --> 00:16:49,669
Sorry, I let it slip.
We'll deal with it later.

448
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,087
How much are you not telling me?

449
00:16:51,088 --> 00:16:53,211
Why are you talking like this?

450
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:54,246
Daddies took a little side trip.

451
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:57,302
- Sorry, sweetie.
- Um, so sometimes, uh,

452
00:16:57,303 --> 00:17:00,225
- we tell you things like that
to make you feel better. - Mm-hmm.

453
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:03,039
And I might have done
the same thing

454
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,658
when I told you that
your mom is a princess.

455
00:17:06,704 --> 00:17:09,464
So she's not?

456
00:17:09,999 --> 00:17:11,330
Well, you know what?

457
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,212
- She might be.
- She might be.

458
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:15,064
But we can't know for sure, honey,

459
00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:18,720
because... well,
we don't know where she is

460
00:17:18,721 --> 00:17:21,279
or... what she's doing.

461
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,678
B-but what—
what we do know

462
00:17:22,679 --> 00:17:24,594
- is that she loved you very, very much...
- Mm-hmm.

463
00:17:24,595 --> 00:17:26,294
And she knew that she
couldn't take care of you,

464
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,383
so she made sure that you went

465
00:17:28,384 --> 00:17:31,065
with the most loving family
she could find.

466
00:17:31,792 --> 00:17:34,478
And that's how the three of us
became a family.

467
00:17:34,479 --> 00:17:36,153
Does that make sense, sweetie?

468
00:17:37,173 --> 00:17:38,905
Do you have any questions for us?

469
00:17:38,943 --> 00:17:42,413
Why did you say
a fib and kill a bird?

470
00:17:45,219 --> 00:17:47,199
I noticed you walking
in with your wife earlier.

471
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,122
She's stunning.

472
00:17:48,123 --> 00:17:49,643
You know my favorite part
of that compliment?

473
00:17:49,644 --> 00:17:50,708
You knew she was my wife.

474
00:17:50,709 --> 00:17:52,502
Half the world thinks
she's my daughter.

475
00:17:52,503 --> 00:17:55,030
Well, if you ask me,
she's a lucky girl.

476
00:17:55,031 --> 00:17:56,354
Bummer for me, though.

477
00:17:56,355 --> 00:17:58,690
Handsomest man in here,
and he's taken.

478
00:17:58,691 --> 00:18:00,622
I'll bet you do
all right with the boys.

479
00:18:01,716 --> 00:18:02,798
I do.

480
00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,775
It's the men I'm interested in.

481
00:18:04,776 --> 00:18:06,462
You just put it all right
out there, don't you?

482
00:18:06,463 --> 00:18:09,113
I always try to hold
a little something back.

483
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,455
Oh, my gosh.

484
00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:13,362
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Leave him.

485
00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:16,479
- No, but you know that's a—
- I know. He needs this. - Okay.

486
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,838
- It was great meeting you, Jay.
- You, too, Sam.

487
00:18:18,839 --> 00:18:21,238
Wow! Looks like somebody
really likes you.

488
00:18:21,239 --> 00:18:22,826
What can I say? I still got it.

489
00:18:22,827 --> 00:18:24,842
I've been meaning to ask you—
have you lost some weight?

490
00:18:24,843 --> 00:18:27,306
- Because you look good.
- Wow, you have no idea

491
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:28,910
what that means
to hear from you, Jay.

492
00:18:28,911 --> 00:18:30,537
Uh, turn it that way.

493
00:18:30,599 --> 00:18:32,385
I thought this might cheer you up.

494
00:18:32,583 --> 00:18:34,690
Da plane! Da plane!

495
00:18:34,832 --> 00:18:36,457
- Baby girl!
- Ohh!

496
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,665
Look you! You even
taught her the catchphrase.

497
00:18:38,666 --> 00:18:40,982
Yeah. Jay, have you seen
my new tattoo?

498
00:18:40,983 --> 00:18:42,490
Be in touch.
Well, thanks so much for coming.

499
00:18:42,491 --> 00:18:44,069
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Okay.

500
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:51,845
Okay, Claire, they're gone.
You can come out now.

501
00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:54,630
Claire?

502
00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:57,649
Honey, I'm sorry I said
you weren't scary.

503
00:18:57,650 --> 00:18:59,253
It's been such a long day.

504
00:18:59,254 --> 00:19:01,072
Can we please just go home?

505
00:19:07,351 --> 00:19:10,194
All right.
I'm leaving without ya.

506
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:31,794
So... this remote
you know how to use.

507
00:19:47,111 --> 00:19:47,662
Yes?

508
00:19:47,663 --> 00:19:49,081
Phil, where are you?

509
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,529
Claire? Where are you?

510
00:19:51,663 --> 00:19:53,594
I came over to scare you,
but then I heard you

511
00:19:53,595 --> 00:19:54,988
showing the house to that couple,

512
00:19:54,989 --> 00:19:56,614
so I got out of your way.

513
00:19:57,645 --> 00:19:58,558
Are you at home?

514
00:19:58,559 --> 00:20:00,521
Yeah.
I got here ten minutes ago.

515
00:20:00,608 --> 00:20:03,385
S-so... so you're saying...

516
00:20:03,935 --> 00:20:07,238
This call isn't coming
from inside the house?

517
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:08,843
What are you talking about?
Just get home.

518
00:20:08,844 --> 00:20:10,314
The kids and I are hungry.

519
00:20:10,315 --> 00:20:11,584
Yeah, hurry up, dad.

520
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,831
We miss you!

521
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,881
Miss you, too, buddy.

522
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,896
- Trick-or-treat!
- Aah!

523
00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,681
I wasn't really that scared.

524
00:21:03,272 --> 00:21:04,338
Okay.

525
00:21:11,951 --> 00:21:14,334
Hey, you never told me if
you hit those kids with that egg.

526
00:21:14,335 --> 00:21:15,474
They blended into the crowd,

527
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,518
but there was a slow one with them.

528
00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:18,618
He couldn't run so fast,

529
00:21:18,619 --> 00:21:20,805
and I nailed him pretty good.

530
00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:23,510
I warned you.
Okay, Reuben.

531
00:21:23,511 --> 00:21:25,109
Where are your cool friends now?

532
00:21:25,110 --> 00:21:27,062
Not q-tipping your ear,
that's for sure.

533
00:21:27,063 --> 00:21:28,786
Okay, Reuben.

534
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,709
This is why I never
hang out with cool kids.

535
00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:32,290
Yeah, you rejected them,

536
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,334
shortly after you and your mom

537
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,976
roller danced at the talent show.

538
00:21:34,977 --> 00:21:36,270
Oh... we were robbed.

539
00:21:36,271 --> 00:21:37,706
Couldn't have been
the song you picked.

540
00:21:37,707 --> 00:21:39,413
"Wing beneath my w—" ow!

541
00:21:39,613 --> 00:21:47,313
Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com