1 00:00:03,291 --> 00:00:04,999 Yello, house of the future. 2 00:00:05,129 --> 00:00:06,567 Phil, you have two whole days to yourself. 3 00:00:06,677 --> 00:00:07,836 Please tell me you're not gonna spend them 4 00:00:07,906 --> 00:00:09,834 trying to wire the house to your iPad. 5 00:00:09,894 --> 00:00:11,732 Nope, 'cause I've already done it. 6 00:00:12,561 --> 00:00:14,999 I think when you get home, you're gonna be very surprised to see 7 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:18,565 that this house has an actual functioning brain in it. 8 00:00:18,675 --> 00:00:20,983 Great. Great. Now go out and see some friends. 9 00:00:21,073 --> 00:00:21,902 I'm headed out now. 10 00:00:22,052 --> 00:00:24,190 I have a third showing at that colonial. 11 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,238 Cam gave me a free pass to his gym. 12 00:00:26,328 --> 00:00:27,796 I am... not too bright. 13 00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:29,864 I am... dim! 14 00:00:30,394 --> 00:00:32,242 Honey, if you could hear yourself. 15 00:00:32,352 --> 00:00:33,860 Promise me you'll go outside and play. 16 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,538 Miss you, too. 17 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:41,093 Phil Dunphy, this is the year 2025. 18 00:00:41,223 --> 00:00:42,202 Welcome. 19 00:00:42,322 --> 00:00:43,900 You're the first one here. 20 00:00:53,337 --> 00:00:56,553 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 21 00:00:56,727 --> 00:00:58,446 Shall we hit the waterslide first? 22 00:00:58,575 --> 00:01:00,004 I may just sit in the room for a bit. 23 00:01:00,114 --> 00:01:01,283 Stop moping! 24 00:01:01,423 --> 00:01:03,451 So you didn't get a date to one stupid dance. 25 00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:04,529 It's not one stupid dance. 26 00:01:04,609 --> 00:01:06,627 It's the kickoff to the whole dance season. 27 00:01:06,757 --> 00:01:09,285 It's like you've never heard boys talk. 28 00:01:09,624 --> 00:01:11,413 We are here for the academic challenge. 29 00:01:11,502 --> 00:01:13,281 It's under "Dunphy." 30 00:01:13,391 --> 00:01:15,908 Or it could be under "returning champion." 31 00:01:16,018 --> 00:01:18,286 Not sure how they file these things. 32 00:01:18,406 --> 00:01:20,444 Alex wins things, which is great. 33 00:01:20,553 --> 00:01:22,741 But she puts so much pressure on herself. 34 00:01:22,811 --> 00:01:26,358 I... I almost wish she would lose this year. 35 00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:28,146 Plus, that way, I could go on the waterslide. 36 00:01:28,266 --> 00:01:30,883 It's got a corkscrew, 2-second freefall, 37 00:01:30,953 --> 00:01:33,560 and a radar gun at the bottom. 38 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,099 I'm Phil. 39 00:01:35,488 --> 00:01:36,428 Nothing from the minibar, 40 00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,076 - and no pay-per-view. - Can we at least... 41 00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:40,433 No, you may not send things out for pressing. 42 00:01:40,553 --> 00:01:42,861 Honey, we have an hour until the competition. 43 00:01:42,991 --> 00:01:44,410 Do you want to go to the contestants mixer? 44 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,148 No, I don't want to humanize them. 45 00:01:46,268 --> 00:01:48,585 Can you believe this is my first bar mitzvah? 46 00:01:48,685 --> 00:01:51,113 You'll love it. I heard the gift bags have smartphones. 47 00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:53,630 Jewish people are so awesome. 48 00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:56,288 Oh, my God. Did you see that? 49 00:01:56,398 --> 00:01:57,486 She smiled at me. 50 00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:59,285 People get that way in dance season. 51 00:01:59,414 --> 00:02:01,432 No girl's ever smiled at me like that. 52 00:02:01,562 --> 00:02:03,131 Luke, we have to go to that bar mitzvah. 53 00:02:03,261 --> 00:02:05,389 - Why? - There was a connection. 54 00:02:05,728 --> 00:02:07,147 I know this sounds crazy, 55 00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:09,185 but I feel like my whole life has led to this moment. 56 00:02:09,305 --> 00:02:12,162 You made a very similar speech to get my mom to stop for those churros. 57 00:02:12,282 --> 00:02:13,510 Luke, I need you for this. 58 00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:14,839 You're sneakier than I am. 59 00:02:14,979 --> 00:02:16,038 You're a bigger liar. 60 00:02:16,158 --> 00:02:17,596 You have no moral compass. 61 00:02:17,716 --> 00:02:19,235 Look, thanks for all the compliments, 62 00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:20,793 but breaking into one stupid party? 63 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:23,281 That's not even a challenge. 64 00:02:25,249 --> 00:02:27,896 Oh, no. Three bar mitzvahs? 65 00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:31,113 Now it's interesting. 66 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:34,979 - Cam, stop. - What? 67 00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:36,348 We have to get them out of there. 68 00:02:36,497 --> 00:02:37,856 What's taking them? 69 00:02:38,246 --> 00:02:41,612 We have the most amazing gift for Jay and Gloria's nursery. 70 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:44,569 It was Cam's idea, and it's a pretty big swing. 71 00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:46,358 It's not a swing. It's not a swing. 72 00:02:46,487 --> 00:02:49,005 I just need Jay and Gloria out of the house for a minimum of four hours 73 00:02:49,115 --> 00:02:51,872 - so I can have my crew install it. - Simple. 74 00:02:51,942 --> 00:02:52,771 Please. If it were up to you, 75 00:02:52,891 --> 00:02:54,779 we'd get them something off their gift registry. 76 00:02:54,899 --> 00:02:55,928 You mean the list of things that 77 00:02:56,048 --> 00:02:57,676 they specifically said that they wanted? 78 00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,824 They don't know what they want. 79 00:03:00,174 --> 00:03:02,511 before I snap his finger off! 80 00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:05,948 Ay, no. Jay was supposed to cancel. 81 00:03:06,058 --> 00:03:08,465 - We cannot go to lunch. - No. 82 00:03:08,575 --> 00:03:11,263 I am sorry, but he's supposed to pick up the crib at the store, 83 00:03:11,382 --> 00:03:12,541 and I am too tired. 84 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,649 The baby kicked me all night. 85 00:03:14,769 --> 00:03:18,286 It's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl. 86 00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:19,564 You can be both. My senior year, 87 00:03:19,684 --> 00:03:20,703 I was a right-side linebacker 88 00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:23,061 and a left-side cancan dancer in "Gigi." 89 00:03:23,181 --> 00:03:24,569 She really set you up for that one, didn't she? 90 00:03:24,669 --> 00:03:26,887 Yeah, when it came out of her mouth, I nearly stopped breathing. 91 00:03:27,027 --> 00:03:28,835 You didn't call them to cancel. 92 00:03:28,955 --> 00:03:30,343 Sorry. You want gas money? 93 00:03:30,453 --> 00:03:31,562 Don't pay attention to him. 94 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,380 He's been very grumpy lately. 95 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:34,419 Okay, here's a thought. 96 00:03:34,539 --> 00:03:36,467 Mitchell, you go to the crib store with Jay. 97 00:03:36,587 --> 00:03:38,725 That way I can spend some quality time with this pretty lady. 98 00:03:38,815 --> 00:03:39,874 No, I'm going to lay down. 99 00:03:39,984 --> 00:03:41,992 No, no, I'm gonna take you both to lunch. 100 00:03:42,092 --> 00:03:43,330 Okay? There, it's settled. 101 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:44,939 Now go put a lip on. Okay? 102 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,767 Fine. I guess you won't get in the way. 103 00:03:46,917 --> 00:03:47,966 You mean it, pa? 104 00:03:48,096 --> 00:03:49,145 Really and for true? 105 00:03:49,255 --> 00:03:50,853 I won't get in the way? 106 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:55,498 - That's a good idea. - Yeah. The chairs are rocks. 107 00:03:55,658 --> 00:03:57,147 Charlemagne. 108 00:03:57,416 --> 00:04:01,372 You can get a 1-day cushion for $8, or a 2-day for $12. 109 00:04:01,432 --> 00:04:02,212 Alex Dunphy. 110 00:04:02,321 --> 00:04:05,428 Last year, I got 2 1-dayers-big mistake. 111 00:04:05,528 --> 00:04:06,877 Who wrote the 95 theses? 112 00:04:06,977 --> 00:04:09,075 My daughter went on to win the whole thing, 113 00:04:09,195 --> 00:04:12,202 and all I could think was "I just flushed $4 down the toilet." 114 00:04:12,341 --> 00:04:13,560 John Calvin. 115 00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:15,408 Alex! 116 00:04:15,528 --> 00:04:17,157 I guess I just didn't want to presume 117 00:04:17,286 --> 00:04:19,284 that we would be here for the two days. 118 00:04:19,374 --> 00:04:22,262 But still, what kind of message was I sending with the 1-dayer? 119 00:04:22,371 --> 00:04:23,520 You "whoo'd" me? 120 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,679 What are you doing here? 121 00:04:24,799 --> 00:04:26,128 I'm out. I got the question wrong, 122 00:04:26,238 --> 00:04:28,136 which is embarrassing enough without you "whoo-ing" me! 123 00:04:28,275 --> 00:04:30,493 Alex! Alex, come back here. 124 00:04:31,612 --> 00:04:33,480 Don't! 125 00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:36,457 Wait, what are the last four numbers again? 126 00:04:36,607 --> 00:04:38,026 1-9-8-4. 127 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:39,464 It's kind of a lucky number for me. 128 00:04:39,574 --> 00:04:41,053 It's the year "Footloose" came out. 129 00:04:41,143 --> 00:04:43,380 Yeah. And I really am gonna call you for that rematch. 130 00:04:43,490 --> 00:04:44,369 Anytime. 131 00:04:44,479 --> 00:04:46,777 I mean, not super late, but... 132 00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:50,104 - Wait, you're a bulldog? - Yeah. You? 133 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,059 I knew there was something about you I liked. 134 00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:57,037 You mean besides me letting you win? 135 00:04:57,856 --> 00:04:59,384 You know, we have a big game today. 136 00:04:59,494 --> 00:05:01,732 - You wanna watch it together? - Well... 137 00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:03,011 Shoot. I'm... I'm late for a showing. 138 00:05:03,121 --> 00:05:04,539 No pressure at all, but if you feel like it, 139 00:05:04,659 --> 00:05:05,688 we could watch it at my place. 140 00:05:05,808 --> 00:05:07,326 I could text you the address. 141 00:05:07,456 --> 00:05:09,674 All right. Well, thanks. It was great meeting you, Phil. 142 00:05:09,794 --> 00:05:11,382 You, too, Dave. 143 00:05:15,209 --> 00:05:16,317 It's me. 144 00:05:16,447 --> 00:05:18,345 Yeah, you were totally right about this gym. 145 00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,493 - I just met the cutest guy. - What did I tell you? 146 00:05:20,603 --> 00:05:22,961 That place is like a gay bar with dumbbells. 147 00:05:23,041 --> 00:05:24,040 Redundant. 148 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,258 Well, I don't know much about him, 149 00:05:25,378 --> 00:05:27,916 but he invited me over to his place to watch a football game tonight. 150 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:28,975 Oh, my gosh, a date. 151 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:30,753 I have a good feeling about this. 152 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,361 Well, don't start planning the wedding yet. 153 00:05:32,441 --> 00:05:34,869 I mean, I'm not even sure if it's a date date. 154 00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:36,008 You met him at hook-up central. 155 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,356 Of course it's a date date. 156 00:05:37,486 --> 00:05:38,855 Am I even ready for a date date? 157 00:05:38,975 --> 00:05:41,083 Tough love time, David, Simon left you six months ago, 158 00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:42,291 and you're bumming everyone out. 159 00:05:42,411 --> 00:05:44,329 It's time to get back up on that horse. 160 00:05:44,449 --> 00:05:45,958 Hope to see you tonight, Dave. 161 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,554 I can't remember the last time a man made that sound for me. 162 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,778 She's not here. We have the wrong bar mitzvah. 163 00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,926 Not if you like prime rib, bubbie. 164 00:06:08,006 --> 00:06:09,155 You said to blend. 165 00:06:09,264 --> 00:06:11,402 I picked up some expressions at the latke station. 166 00:06:11,562 --> 00:06:13,390 P.S. they're hash browns. 167 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,449 We're not blending. 168 00:06:14,569 --> 00:06:16,857 She's at one of the other two. Come on. 169 00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:19,125 Sorry. 170 00:06:19,244 --> 00:06:21,123 Such a hurry, this one. 171 00:06:21,332 --> 00:06:22,681 Come on. 172 00:06:25,019 --> 00:06:26,108 That's too cute. 173 00:06:26,227 --> 00:06:27,616 What the hell is that? 174 00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:30,064 That's the store mascot. That's Hugga Bunny. 175 00:06:30,173 --> 00:06:32,241 - He goes around and he hugs... - No, I get it. 176 00:06:32,341 --> 00:06:33,890 Nice for flu season. 177 00:06:33,990 --> 00:06:36,367 He ought to be called conjunctivitis bunny. 178 00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:37,556 Okay. 179 00:06:37,666 --> 00:06:40,054 So, dad, the cribs are over there, but while we're here, 180 00:06:40,124 --> 00:06:42,501 a little advice, you can never have too many onesies. All right? 181 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,090 Any event, day or night. 182 00:06:44,199 --> 00:06:46,717 Throw one on, little pair of booties, boom-ready to go out. 183 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,135 Dress it up, you could dress it down. 184 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,804 You could... Dad? 185 00:06:51,282 --> 00:06:52,621 Dad? 186 00:06:52,741 --> 00:06:54,649 Something was clearly going on with my dad, 187 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,577 but I wasn't about to get sucked in. 188 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:57,916 It's happened before. 189 00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,034 "Dad, you seem sad. Do you wanna talk?" 190 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,301 "Talk? What are we, girlfriends?" 191 00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:06,947 To use a sports reference, put the football away, Lucy. 192 00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:08,395 I ain't kickin'. 193 00:07:08,505 --> 00:07:09,574 So Saturday noon? 194 00:07:09,714 --> 00:07:10,863 - Saturday noon's fine, Jay. - Yeah. 195 00:07:10,983 --> 00:07:12,711 Dad, I picked you up a diaper bag. 196 00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:14,879 Fun fact... this insulated pouch will keep a bottle of 197 00:07:14,989 --> 00:07:17,766 prosecco cold for an entire Wiggles concert. 198 00:07:18,145 --> 00:07:20,513 - Mitch, it's doctor... - Bob Jensen. 199 00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:21,622 Nice to meet you. 200 00:07:21,752 --> 00:07:23,620 - Jay, I will see you. - Yeah, I'll see you then. 201 00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,198 Good, Bob. 202 00:07:27,366 --> 00:07:30,823 Doctor? Sweater vest? My dad acting all shifty? 203 00:07:30,973 --> 00:07:32,601 He was seeing a shrink. 204 00:07:32,731 --> 00:07:34,979 "Dad, I can see that you're going through something." 205 00:07:35,069 --> 00:07:38,285 "And I can see your bra strap, Oprah. Mind your own business." 206 00:07:39,304 --> 00:07:41,872 Tee up the football all you want, Lucy. 207 00:07:41,982 --> 00:07:43,300 Still ain't kickin'. 208 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,828 She clearly misheard the question. 209 00:07:45,958 --> 00:07:48,036 The acoustics in here are terrible. 210 00:07:48,175 --> 00:07:50,683 Especially for a little girl just getting over an ear infection. 211 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,921 - Oh, my God, what are you doing? - I was explaining your... 212 00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:54,619 I heard, because my ears are fine. 213 00:07:54,709 --> 00:07:56,217 I'm sorry. I didn't ask her to do this. 214 00:07:56,337 --> 00:07:57,716 - I'm trying to help you. - You were not. 215 00:07:57,826 --> 00:07:59,104 You were trying to help you. 216 00:07:59,194 --> 00:08:00,153 You're just mad because now you can't 217 00:08:00,263 --> 00:08:01,662 parade me around like some show pony. 218 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:02,761 - That is not true. - Don't deny it. 219 00:08:02,901 --> 00:08:04,619 You bought the 2-day cushion. 220 00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:07,836 Who are you to judge? 221 00:08:20,493 --> 00:08:22,022 Thank you for a fun day, okay? 222 00:08:22,111 --> 00:08:23,440 - Good-bye. - Good-bye? 223 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,698 Cam, sorry, but the lunch was two hours, 224 00:08:25,808 --> 00:08:27,526 and then you had to show me your first apartment. 225 00:08:27,646 --> 00:08:29,544 Could you believe how I used to live? 226 00:08:29,664 --> 00:08:30,953 I really need to take a nap now. 227 00:08:31,072 --> 00:08:33,200 No. No, no. No. No. No, no. 228 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:34,819 You know what? I have, something I want you to do 229 00:08:34,909 --> 00:08:36,117 that's even more relaxing than a nap. 230 00:08:36,257 --> 00:08:38,775 No. I want to take a nap. 231 00:08:40,323 --> 00:08:43,390 - There's my man. - That's me. Your man. 232 00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:45,658 I brought spinach dip. I don't know why. 233 00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,026 I'll tell you why. 'Cause it's delicious, 234 00:08:47,146 --> 00:08:48,935 and you're an awesome guest. Get in here. 235 00:08:49,044 --> 00:08:49,894 - All right. - How are you? 236 00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:51,392 - Good. You? - Good. 237 00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:53,130 By the way, I left a message for my brother-in-law 238 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:55,078 and his partner to join us, too. 239 00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,316 More people. Good. 240 00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,574 - Nice house, by the way. - Thanks. 241 00:09:00,603 --> 00:09:02,491 Wait a minute. Is that your family? 242 00:09:02,701 --> 00:09:03,620 Are you married? 243 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,368 Yeah, but don't worry. We have the house to ourselves. 244 00:09:05,468 --> 00:09:06,557 They're all out of town. 245 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,925 I am long overdue for a boys' night. 246 00:09:09,024 --> 00:09:10,613 So your wife is okay with... 247 00:09:10,773 --> 00:09:12,891 Oh yeah. She suggested it. 248 00:09:12,990 --> 00:09:14,829 She knows I need this every so often. 249 00:09:14,978 --> 00:09:17,566 Long as I clean up afterwards, she's fine. 250 00:09:17,726 --> 00:09:19,004 You ready for a margarita? 251 00:09:19,174 --> 00:09:20,753 Sure. 252 00:09:24,968 --> 00:09:26,267 Soothing, right? 253 00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:29,704 You see, as the music relaxes the baby, you relax. 254 00:09:29,844 --> 00:09:32,221 No, you're making the baby jump on my bladder. 255 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,579 How can it relax listening to a song about a hooker? 256 00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:36,497 She's not a hooker, she's a private dancer. 257 00:09:36,597 --> 00:09:38,665 A dancer for money. She'll do what you want her to... 258 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,703 Oh, my gosh, I taught Lily this song. 259 00:09:41,162 --> 00:09:43,360 Excuse me. Hello? 260 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,668 He's married. To a woman. 261 00:09:45,778 --> 00:09:47,606 Yeah, she's out of town. 262 00:09:47,746 --> 00:09:50,683 I don't know. They must have some sort of arrangement or something. 263 00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,741 So what? If they know about it, who cares? 264 00:09:52,841 --> 00:09:54,169 You're not ready for a relationship anyway. 265 00:09:54,269 --> 00:09:55,538 Just have some fun. 266 00:09:55,658 --> 00:09:56,817 It feels weird. 267 00:09:56,936 --> 00:09:58,085 He has other people coming over. 268 00:09:58,195 --> 00:09:59,644 I think I'm gonna bail on this. 269 00:09:59,774 --> 00:10:02,421 He's just feeling you out like you're feeling him out. 270 00:10:02,531 --> 00:10:05,658 I promise you, these other guests will mysteriously cancel. 271 00:10:05,768 --> 00:10:07,526 Hold on just a second, sweetie. 272 00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:10,293 - Hello? - You guys still coming? 273 00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:12,161 I forgot to call you. We have to cancel. 274 00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:14,349 No problem. Bye. 275 00:10:15,488 --> 00:10:18,855 More margaritas for us. The other guys just cancelled. 276 00:10:18,924 --> 00:10:19,983 Are you still there? 277 00:10:20,093 --> 00:10:22,421 You were right. The other guys just cancelled. 278 00:10:22,551 --> 00:10:23,750 See? Now listen to me. 279 00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:24,948 You're gonna have two margaritas. 280 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,137 Maybe start a third. 281 00:10:26,257 --> 00:10:27,596 Laugh at his jokes. 282 00:10:27,686 --> 00:10:28,924 But not in that high falsetto thing. 283 00:10:29,054 --> 00:10:30,583 Something more manly. Let's practice. 284 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:31,921 I'm not gonna laugh for you. 285 00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:33,939 You can be very controlling, you know that? 286 00:10:34,049 --> 00:10:36,437 Why does everybody say I'm controlling? 287 00:10:36,527 --> 00:10:37,905 Gotta go. 288 00:10:38,385 --> 00:10:41,891 Looks like this kennel is for bulldogs only. 289 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,659 - You all right? - Yeah, I'm all right. 290 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,097 - I'm great. - Oh, good. 291 00:10:46,237 --> 00:10:50,013 Listen, I-I don't want this to sound weird, but, um... 292 00:10:50,773 --> 00:10:52,521 But you and I, tonight... 293 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,108 Is this, uh... 294 00:10:56,097 --> 00:10:57,866 Sorry, Dave, what was that? 295 00:10:58,255 --> 00:10:59,684 Nothing. 296 00:11:12,221 --> 00:11:13,090 Here you go. 297 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,748 For a small fee, we can come to your house and assemble it for you. 298 00:11:15,877 --> 00:11:17,556 Yeah, my dad's more of a do-it-yourself-er, 299 00:11:17,646 --> 00:11:20,003 plus he's not one for strangers in his personal space. 300 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,172 All right. 301 00:11:21,192 --> 00:11:22,541 Well, can I help you carry it to your car? 302 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,099 Yeah, he's not gonna go for that, either. 303 00:11:24,189 --> 00:11:26,167 The guy won't even use the wheels on his suitcase. 304 00:11:26,287 --> 00:11:28,095 Likes everyone to think he's this big, tough guy who- 305 00:11:28,235 --> 00:11:29,454 Okay. 306 00:11:29,704 --> 00:11:31,672 There he is. All right. Let's get this done. 307 00:11:31,822 --> 00:11:33,190 - Dad, you know... - No, 308 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:36,737 we don't need any help, Mitchell. Just pick up your end. 309 00:11:38,705 --> 00:11:40,892 - Dad, stop, stop, stop. - What? A break already? 310 00:11:40,972 --> 00:11:42,741 Dad, you're obviously going through something. 311 00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,779 Look, you do not have to go through this alone. 312 00:11:44,898 --> 00:11:47,076 I'm here to talk if you want. 313 00:11:47,586 --> 00:11:48,535 That's really nice of you, Mitchell, 314 00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:50,143 but do you wanna do it here? 315 00:11:50,263 --> 00:11:53,040 'Cause I saw a little princess table with a tea set on it. 316 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,358 You and I could have a real gab fest. 317 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:58,395 I'm such a blockhead. 318 00:11:58,575 --> 00:12:00,043 Can't we just get this into the car? 319 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,592 Why? So you're not late for your shrink session? 320 00:12:01,692 --> 00:12:03,480 - What? - Yeah. I picked up on that. 321 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:04,659 Bunny hugger! 322 00:12:04,769 --> 00:12:05,917 Saw that, too. 323 00:12:06,047 --> 00:12:07,346 Mobile spinner. 324 00:12:09,264 --> 00:12:11,442 I swear to God... 325 00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:15,578 What are you doing back here? 326 00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:18,205 I didn't have the room key, and I don't want to be seen in public. 327 00:12:18,345 --> 00:12:20,363 I thought about what you said before... 328 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,491 When did China's last emperor ascend the throne? 329 00:12:22,581 --> 00:12:23,470 1909. 330 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,308 And you can say a lot of things about me, 331 00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:27,416 but I am not someone who lives through her kids. 332 00:12:27,536 --> 00:12:28,824 Sorry. It's 1909. 333 00:12:28,944 --> 00:12:31,142 Do I like to see you succeed? Of course I do! 334 00:12:31,252 --> 00:12:33,590 - Tritium is an isotope of what element? - Hydrogen. 335 00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:36,926 But do I need that to make myself feel important? 336 00:12:37,076 --> 00:12:38,335 Absolutely not. 337 00:12:38,455 --> 00:12:40,203 No, the answer is hydrogen. 338 00:12:40,323 --> 00:12:42,910 As a matter of fact, I'm a little hurt you would think I was so shallow. 339 00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:45,847 The persian satrapy of Skudra included which two areas? 340 00:12:45,977 --> 00:12:47,476 Macedonia and Thrace. 341 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:50,683 I know moms like that, and that is not me. 342 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,081 No way. 343 00:12:52,161 --> 00:12:53,310 Macedonia and Thrace. 344 00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:54,968 Are you freaking kidding me? 345 00:12:55,088 --> 00:12:58,075 Macedonia and Thrace? What even is that? 346 00:12:58,165 --> 00:12:59,424 You're hardly even listening! 347 00:12:59,544 --> 00:13:01,662 How could we lose this? 348 00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:06,287 - I said "we." - Yeah. You do that sometimes. 349 00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:08,385 I'm so sorry. 350 00:13:08,505 --> 00:13:10,623 I am one of those moms. 351 00:13:10,742 --> 00:13:12,750 I like it too much when you win. 352 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,478 I really love lording it over the other moms. 353 00:13:16,387 --> 00:13:19,364 Well, in our house, I'm kind of your only source for that. 354 00:13:19,484 --> 00:13:21,052 You're telling me. 355 00:13:21,142 --> 00:13:23,869 Haley e-mails me pictures of her nails. 356 00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:26,177 And Luke asked me if he's part owl. 357 00:13:26,297 --> 00:13:28,275 He does get his head pretty far around. 358 00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:30,373 Alex, I'm so sorry. 359 00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:32,021 It's okay. 360 00:13:32,131 --> 00:13:33,250 Maybe you do put pressure on me, 361 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,887 but it's nothing compared to what I put on myself. 362 00:13:35,977 --> 00:13:38,535 I guess I needed somebody to blame for what happened today, 363 00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:40,203 and there you were. 364 00:13:40,323 --> 00:13:42,681 You know I'm in awe of you, right? 365 00:13:44,009 --> 00:13:46,157 Come on. I know a back way out of this place. 366 00:13:46,287 --> 00:13:47,696 Wait. Don't you have to return that? 367 00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:49,564 No way. I paid good money for this. 368 00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:51,801 - We're taking it down the waterslide. - Okay. 369 00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,450 How can she not be here, either? 370 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:54,459 This is hopeless. 371 00:13:54,579 --> 00:13:56,097 Have a little faith. 372 00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:57,586 Did the Jews give up when the Egyptians 373 00:13:57,705 --> 00:13:59,524 chased them to the banks of the red sea? 374 00:13:59,624 --> 00:14:00,912 How do you know all this stuff? 375 00:14:00,962 --> 00:14:03,650 Was I the only one listening to Uncle Menachem's toast? 376 00:14:03,739 --> 00:14:05,638 Well, I'm glad it worked out for the ancient Jews, 377 00:14:05,767 --> 00:14:07,156 but at the moment I don't see God doing me any... 378 00:14:07,296 --> 00:14:08,694 Look! 379 00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,365 I'm not gonna embarrass you, 380 00:14:18,465 --> 00:14:20,613 but you got one minute to get out of here. 381 00:14:20,922 --> 00:14:22,790 You, too. 382 00:14:24,469 --> 00:14:26,087 It's for the best. 383 00:14:26,177 --> 00:14:28,764 All this sneaking around was kind of weighing on me. 384 00:14:28,864 --> 00:14:30,443 Let's just grab our gift bags and go. 385 00:14:30,553 --> 00:14:33,450 No. I still have 50 seconds. 386 00:14:34,728 --> 00:14:36,207 Excuse me. 387 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,782 My name is Manny Delgado, and I've been searching for you 388 00:14:40,892 --> 00:14:42,571 since you smiled at me in the lobby today, 389 00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,479 maybe even my whole life. 390 00:14:44,619 --> 00:14:46,866 It's too late for us to have the magical night I was hoping for, 391 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:48,515 but it's not too late for us to have a memento 392 00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:49,863 of what might have been. 393 00:14:49,983 --> 00:14:51,322 I'll be waiting. 394 00:15:05,977 --> 00:15:08,565 - Okay, Mitch. - Too late. Not interested. 395 00:15:09,514 --> 00:15:10,932 Now listen. 396 00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:12,810 Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna go out the back. 397 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:15,208 Door, sunroof, all on lockdown. 398 00:15:16,956 --> 00:15:19,464 Okay, look, that guy you met today 399 00:15:19,594 --> 00:15:20,583 he is a shrink. 400 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:21,731 But I don't see him all the time. 401 00:15:21,861 --> 00:15:24,808 You mom and I saw him a little before the divorce. 402 00:15:24,938 --> 00:15:27,186 But every now and then, something comes up for me, 403 00:15:27,266 --> 00:15:29,613 and I go in for a tune-up. 404 00:15:29,833 --> 00:15:31,751 If you're waiting for me to ask what's going on with you, 405 00:15:31,881 --> 00:15:33,480 you just better keep waiting, 'cause 406 00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:34,938 I learned my lesson. 407 00:15:35,078 --> 00:15:37,835 I'm down about something. Something I knew was coming, 408 00:15:38,245 --> 00:15:40,213 and now it's finally happening. 409 00:15:41,252 --> 00:15:45,248 We're turning my office into the nursery today. 410 00:15:46,287 --> 00:15:49,663 You've been moping around like you lost your platoon over a room? 411 00:15:49,773 --> 00:15:51,492 Not just a room. 412 00:15:51,611 --> 00:15:52,670 It's the only place in this house 413 00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:53,869 where I can still close the door 414 00:15:53,999 --> 00:15:55,777 and read a book or have a drink. 415 00:15:55,877 --> 00:15:57,655 Everything in there was mine. 416 00:15:58,315 --> 00:16:00,333 Who cares? Everybody's got their problems. 417 00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:01,641 No. 418 00:16:03,909 --> 00:16:05,238 You know, I can still open my door. 419 00:16:05,378 --> 00:16:07,436 You just locked yourself back in. 420 00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:10,203 Look, dad, I... 421 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:13,120 I had to give up my home office for Lily's bedroom, 422 00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:15,418 and I was upset about it, too. 423 00:16:15,977 --> 00:16:17,785 - Snwa't hugging bunnies, but... - All right. 424 00:16:17,885 --> 00:16:22,361 I- I realize that it wasn't about an office or a room. 425 00:16:22,461 --> 00:16:25,168 It was about how Lily was gonna change everything. 426 00:16:25,248 --> 00:16:28,335 But once we got her in there, I don't know. 427 00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:30,762 I-I just- I never looked back. 428 00:16:31,821 --> 00:16:34,678 Yeah, I guess I'm just nervous about everything, you know. 429 00:16:35,557 --> 00:16:37,276 Thanks, kid. 430 00:16:38,405 --> 00:16:40,562 You know, I'm just recalling me grumbling about 431 00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:43,919 giving up my MG Roadster when you and Claire came along. 432 00:16:44,059 --> 00:16:45,498 Great car. 433 00:16:45,577 --> 00:16:47,076 No backseat. 434 00:16:47,176 --> 00:16:48,924 Isn't it funny? The stupid things that we think... 435 00:16:49,044 --> 00:16:51,092 She was my baby. 436 00:16:51,222 --> 00:16:53,040 are so important. 437 00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:55,268 I guess all told, we had about 50 chickens. 438 00:16:55,368 --> 00:16:57,625 Maybe 115 head of hogs. 439 00:16:57,745 --> 00:16:58,894 Let's see, 55 cattle. 440 00:16:58,984 --> 00:16:59,873 You know what'll be fun? 441 00:16:59,993 --> 00:17:01,412 Let's see if I can remember all their names. 442 00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:05,278 There was... Albert, Lisa, Steph, and Mike 443 00:17:05,388 --> 00:17:07,735 Gloria! No, Gloria! Gloria! 444 00:17:08,075 --> 00:17:11,801 No. I do not want to hear one more story. 445 00:17:11,921 --> 00:17:13,310 I am going to take a nap now. 446 00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:14,798 Okay, yeah, sure. Whatever you want. 447 00:17:14,928 --> 00:17:16,357 This day's about you. 448 00:17:16,437 --> 00:17:18,115 - Just one more thing - No, no one more thing! 449 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,683 I just wanted to take a picture, you know, 450 00:17:19,793 --> 00:17:21,002 to commemorate our special day. 451 00:17:21,122 --> 00:17:22,940 Okay, fine! Take the picture! 452 00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:24,758 No, not here. The lighting's terrible. 453 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,195 I was thinking we could take it... in your new nursery! 454 00:17:31,462 --> 00:17:33,200 No, Cam. No. 455 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:34,389 But, Gloria, come. 456 00:17:34,498 --> 00:17:36,467 Somebody has to tell you this. No. 457 00:17:36,576 --> 00:17:37,995 You try to control everything. 458 00:17:38,105 --> 00:17:39,943 You take over people's lives! 459 00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:42,850 It's always too much with you! 460 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,229 You know, maybe we should talk about this out in the hallway. 461 00:17:44,369 --> 00:17:46,407 Why, because there's gonna be better lighting over there? 462 00:17:46,526 --> 00:17:47,625 You're doing it again, Cam. 463 00:17:47,765 --> 00:17:50,253 You're doing it again! 464 00:17:51,731 --> 00:17:52,920 You're right. I am too much. 465 00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:54,798 I do control. I do barge. 466 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:57,495 I'll have my friend Abelard come back and paint over it. 467 00:17:57,605 --> 00:17:59,733 So this is why you kept me outside all day? 468 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:03,579 So that your friend Aburar could come and paint a present? 469 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,616 Yeah, rather than getting you a gift off your registry like a normal person. 470 00:18:06,726 --> 00:18:09,154 - I'm so stupid. - I love it! 471 00:18:09,304 --> 00:18:10,163 You do? 472 00:18:10,273 --> 00:18:12,860 It's just like you, full of color... 473 00:18:12,950 --> 00:18:15,318 And life... and love. 474 00:18:16,307 --> 00:18:17,815 I really did think you'd love it. 475 00:18:17,935 --> 00:18:19,703 What's going on up here? 476 00:18:19,823 --> 00:18:21,132 What the... 477 00:18:21,252 --> 00:18:23,010 Okay, that was not my idea. I told Cam- 478 00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:24,948 I told him that's a lot to put on someone's wall. 479 00:18:25,068 --> 00:18:26,446 Hold on. 480 00:18:26,546 --> 00:18:28,365 - I like it. - Really? 481 00:18:28,664 --> 00:18:30,053 - Thanks, Cam. - You actually... 482 00:18:30,173 --> 00:18:32,401 Makes it easier to give up the room. 483 00:18:39,523 --> 00:18:41,362 That's close. 484 00:18:41,481 --> 00:18:44,079 Guy was an inch out of bounds. 485 00:18:48,714 --> 00:18:50,512 Time-out. 486 00:18:51,851 --> 00:18:53,140 You know what? 487 00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:56,676 I'm not gonna be able to relax until I get this out of the way. 488 00:18:59,384 --> 00:19:01,421 Dishwasher. 489 00:19:01,871 --> 00:19:03,919 Pretty cool, huh? 490 00:19:04,169 --> 00:19:06,357 Yeah. It is. 491 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,185 Do you think... 492 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,752 - Mind if I freshen this? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allow me. 493 00:19:12,131 --> 00:19:13,989 Your hand's shaking. 494 00:19:14,269 --> 00:19:17,655 Remember, Dave, it's just a game. 495 00:19:22,331 --> 00:19:25,897 - Oh, God! Oh, my God! - My gosh. 496 00:19:26,147 --> 00:19:27,905 - Come here. - It's all right. 497 00:19:28,035 --> 00:19:29,503 - I'm- I'm just a little wet. - No, you're drenched. 498 00:19:29,593 --> 00:19:31,491 You can't sit in that. You know what? 499 00:19:31,611 --> 00:19:33,150 Take that off. I'll throw 'em both in the dryer 500 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:35,457 and get us a couple of clean ones. 501 00:19:35,617 --> 00:19:36,556 - Okay. - Yeah. 502 00:19:36,656 --> 00:19:39,274 Well, I guess this is something we're doing. 503 00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,202 Interception! 504 00:19:41,342 --> 00:19:42,530 Interception! 505 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:43,689 - Come on, buddy! - Come on! 506 00:19:43,789 --> 00:19:46,017 - Come on! - Come on, buddy! 507 00:19:46,107 --> 00:19:48,175 - Touchdown! - Yeah! 508 00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:50,742 How exciting is this? 509 00:19:50,882 --> 00:19:52,850 It's been so long. 510 00:19:53,419 --> 00:19:55,517 - What's happening? - Nothing. 511 00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:56,666 My car keys. 512 00:19:56,836 --> 00:19:59,104 Shoot. The TV went off. 513 00:19:59,224 --> 00:20:00,992 Must have screwed something up. 514 00:20:01,102 --> 00:20:03,359 You know what? It doesn't matter. There's another one upstairs. 515 00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:07,046 How about we head up to the bedroom for some halftime festivities? 516 00:20:08,454 --> 00:20:10,672 - Okay. - Let's do this. 517 00:20:14,998 --> 00:20:16,666 I'd forgotten how much fun this can be. 518 00:20:16,756 --> 00:20:18,524 We should make this a regular thing. 519 00:20:18,644 --> 00:20:20,542 Phil, Phil, wait. 520 00:20:20,662 --> 00:20:23,509 - I think I'd better just head home. - What? 521 00:20:23,609 --> 00:20:25,807 I'm just coming out of a long-term relationship, 522 00:20:25,917 --> 00:20:28,894 and I guess I'm still pretty fragile. 523 00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:30,972 It's not that I haven't had a- a great time. 524 00:20:31,102 --> 00:20:32,131 Not at all. I get it. 525 00:20:32,281 --> 00:20:34,618 I've spent a few nights in heartbreak hotel. 526 00:20:34,738 --> 00:20:36,626 If there's anything I can do... 527 00:20:37,665 --> 00:20:40,033 You've already done more than you know. 528 00:21:00,972 --> 00:21:10,962 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com