1 00:00:00,736 --> 00:00:01,737 Gloria, honey! 2 00:00:01,821 --> 00:00:02,823 I'm ready whenever you are! 3 00:00:02,907 --> 00:00:04,952 We should hurry. The reservation's at 7:00. 4 00:00:05,036 --> 00:00:06,622 Claire, where are you? 5 00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:08,710 - Okay, see you in two. 6 00:00:13,428 --> 00:00:14,513 What are you doing? 7 00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:17,018 I'm striking a seductive pose for your mother. 8 00:00:17,102 --> 00:00:19,523 Gross. But I like the suit. Is that new? 9 00:00:19,607 --> 00:00:21,527 Oh, yeah. Now that his honey gots her own money, 10 00:00:21,611 --> 00:00:24,199 Daddy went and snagged hisself some new threads, girl. 11 00:00:24,283 --> 00:00:26,203 Hands down, your funniest voice. 12 00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,123 Bordering on the offensive. 13 00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:30,587 Listen, I'm a Realtor, and I work a lot with families, 14 00:00:30,671 --> 00:00:33,176 so normally I dial the sexy back to five. 15 00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:36,682 But, uh, Claire's been working very hard lately. 16 00:00:36,766 --> 00:00:39,521 So tonight– 17 00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:45,950 Stick around if you want to see your mom's tongue fall out of her mouth. 18 00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:49,625 Not unless you want to see my lunch fall out of mine. 19 00:00:49,709 --> 00:00:53,257 Oh, I'm sorry. I am late! Traffic was horrible. 20 00:00:53,341 --> 00:00:55,929 Sounds like someone could use a tall drink of water. 21 00:00:56,013 --> 00:00:57,475 Yeah, right. Water. 22 00:01:00,939 --> 00:01:02,943 Luke, what did I tell you about leaning back on that thing? 23 00:01:03,027 --> 00:01:05,490 - I don't know. "Don't"? - Honey, what are you still doing here? 24 00:01:05,574 --> 00:01:06,784 You're supposed to be babysitting Joe. 25 00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:08,746 But I have to drop off Alex to watch Lily first, 26 00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:09,873 and she's still not ready. 27 00:01:09,957 --> 00:01:12,254 She can't be concerned about her looks, right? 28 00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:14,006 - I can hear you! - I'm kidding. 29 00:01:14,090 --> 00:01:16,595 I'm just saying it'd be sad to think she actually tries. 30 00:01:16,679 --> 00:01:18,307 - Heard that too! - It was a joke. 31 00:01:18,391 --> 00:01:20,270 Man, do big ears actually hear better? 32 00:01:20,354 --> 00:01:22,064 Oh, my God. Just stop talking. 33 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:25,447 Okay, girls. It's time for you guys to hit the road. 34 00:01:25,531 --> 00:01:27,993 Okay, bye. Bye. Why aren't you going with them? 35 00:01:28,077 --> 00:01:30,623 He wanted to stay home. I said it was okay. 36 00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:32,169 By himself? 37 00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:32,169 It's fine. 38 00:01:32,253 --> 00:01:34,339 If he's old enough to watch The Walking Dead with me– 39 00:01:34,423 --> 00:01:36,177 He's not. 40 00:01:34,423 --> 00:01:36,177 then he's old enough to stay home alone. 41 00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:38,138 - He's not. - Claire, he's not a little boy anymore. 42 00:01:41,437 --> 00:01:43,608 - I'm fine. - See how deep his voice is? 43 00:01:46,113 --> 00:01:47,449 Are you okay? 44 00:02:01,561 --> 00:02:03,940 Oh, this is Haley. 45 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:07,447 - "Be there in five. Alex took ducking forever." - It's fine. 46 00:02:07,531 --> 00:02:10,077 Know what? We have to pick the "save the date" card. I'm at a loss. 47 00:02:10,162 --> 00:02:12,958 Can we do it tomorrow? I hate the way my dad looks at us when we're late, 48 00:02:13,042 --> 00:02:17,175 like we're two silly queens blasting disco music, primping, losing track of time. 49 00:02:17,259 --> 00:02:19,429 Wow, it gets really busy in that head, huh? 50 00:02:19,513 --> 00:02:20,848 Okay, quick. Which one do you like? 51 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,103 - Uh, that one. - Really? I think you picked too quick. 52 00:02:23,188 --> 00:02:25,525 - No, I didn't. I really like that one. - I really like this one. 53 00:02:25,609 --> 00:02:28,614 Then why did you ducking ask me? Fine, go with yours. 54 00:02:28,698 --> 00:02:30,785 - If that's the one you really like. - Can you just get ready? 55 00:02:30,869 --> 00:02:32,747 Yeah. Lily, hit it. 56 00:02:30,869 --> 00:02:32,747 On it! 57 00:02:39,387 --> 00:02:41,390 Let's go, let's go, let's go! 58 00:02:41,474 --> 00:02:43,227 I've never seen you so excited about a restaurant. 59 00:02:43,311 --> 00:02:45,481 I've waited six weeks for this reservation. 60 00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:48,195 They have an Australian Wagyu beef... 61 00:02:48,279 --> 00:02:49,865 that's supposed to change your life. 62 00:02:49,949 --> 00:02:51,660 In the way heart disease changes your life? 63 00:02:51,744 --> 00:02:53,539 Because you're a pillar of health. 64 00:02:53,623 --> 00:02:57,004 They only feed this cow alfalfa, barley and red wine, 65 00:02:57,088 --> 00:03:02,390 and some chef handpicks each cut, dry ages it 35 days... 66 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:06,565 before cooking it to a perfect medium-rare– all for me. 67 00:03:06,649 --> 00:03:08,194 Doesn't the wine make the cow drunk? 68 00:03:08,278 --> 00:03:10,698 It's not The Far Side. The cow doesn't drive anywhere. 69 00:03:10,782 --> 00:03:12,869 Gloria, let's go. 70 00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:14,623 - You know she's not here, right? - What? 71 00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,084 She's having her hair blown out. 72 00:03:16,169 --> 00:03:18,714 That's a thing? That I pay for? 73 00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,551 Gloria's always late. 74 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:23,557 Then I get mad and tell her to hurry, we yell, and it just takes longer. 75 00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:26,563 So I promised myself, no matter how late she is, 76 00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:28,776 just to take some deep breaths and stay calm. 77 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,947 That's the only thing I learned in Lamaze class... 78 00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:33,285 because we were always late. 79 00:03:33,369 --> 00:03:35,581 Hi! 80 00:03:35,665 --> 00:03:37,752 Everybody's driving like crazy tonight. 81 00:03:37,836 --> 00:03:40,758 I took San Vicente thinking that I was gonna save some time, 82 00:03:40,842 --> 00:03:42,971 but then they're working on the sewer. 83 00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:45,100 So I went around Montana, down Moreno. 84 00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:47,188 Ay, but then there's that dip in the road. 85 00:03:47,272 --> 00:03:49,108 I always forget about that dip in the road. 86 00:03:49,193 --> 00:03:53,284 I hit it so hard that I spilled the coffee all over the car. 87 00:03:53,368 --> 00:03:55,538 Did I tell you who I had coffee with? 88 00:03:58,711 --> 00:04:01,508 I think Luke is scared to be left in the house alone, 89 00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:03,804 and he's just pretending to be brave for you. 90 00:04:03,888 --> 00:04:07,395 Honey, he's 14. We left Alex alone when she was 10. 91 00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:09,316 We didn't leave her. We forgot her. 92 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,320 And when we got home, she was fine– 93 00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:12,655 physically. 94 00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:12,655 Mmm. 95 00:04:12,739 --> 00:04:14,993 Plus, she's still friends with that sweet 911 operator. 96 00:04:15,077 --> 00:04:16,330 Yeah. 97 00:04:16,414 --> 00:04:18,334 - What are you doing? - Making sure that Luke knows... 98 00:04:18,418 --> 00:04:19,836 what to do in case of emergency. 99 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,799 Of course he does. 100 00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:24,888 Someone's at the door. 101 00:04:24,972 --> 00:04:27,393 Luke, it's just your mom testing you. 102 00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:30,942 Don't worry, Mom. If I hear that while you're gone, I won't answer. 103 00:04:31,026 --> 00:04:33,197 I'll just hide where no one can find me. 104 00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,956 Cam, come on. Let's go. 105 00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,956 Two seconds. 106 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,003 I thought that being with a man meant that I wouldn't have to wait around like this. 107 00:04:41,087 --> 00:04:43,132 I feel cheated. I do. 108 00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:45,011 Let's play dolls. 109 00:04:45,095 --> 00:04:47,392 Actually, I want to read you one of my favorite books. 110 00:04:47,476 --> 00:04:49,312 It's called Little Women, and it's about four sisters... 111 00:04:49,396 --> 00:04:51,567 who overcome poverty and the patriarchy– 112 00:04:51,651 --> 00:04:53,654 Nope! Dolls. 113 00:04:53,738 --> 00:04:55,741 This is Ashley. She's a wife. 114 00:04:55,825 --> 00:04:58,831 Well, I hope that's not the only thing that defines her. 115 00:04:58,915 --> 00:05:02,672 - Does she have a career? - Nope, she shops. Where's Haley? 116 00:05:02,756 --> 00:05:05,970 How come it takes me five minutes to get ready, and you take forever? 117 00:05:06,054 --> 00:05:09,186 Oh, please. I could get ready in five minutes too if I dressed like– 118 00:05:10,145 --> 00:05:11,773 You did it again? 119 00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,319 Not changing. 120 00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:13,319 Not changing. 121 00:05:13,403 --> 00:05:16,617 Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a crazy night. 122 00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:18,454 No, honey. "It's gonna be a bumpy night." 123 00:05:18,538 --> 00:05:20,416 Remember? You can't have two dads and make that mistake. 124 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,797 - Bumpy night. - Okay, so how often does this happen? 125 00:05:23,881 --> 00:05:26,511 Too often. 126 00:05:23,881 --> 00:05:26,511 Men just don't have that many options. 127 00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:29,976 I can't tell you the number of times I've walked by a women's boutique and just thought, 128 00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:32,105 "What I would do to have that many choices." 129 00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:34,444 Don't ever say that again. I don't like any part of it. 130 00:05:34,528 --> 00:05:37,158 One of us has to change. We look like twin toddlers at church. 131 00:05:37,242 --> 00:05:39,955 Yeah, tell me about it. And this place we're going is supposed to be super hip. 132 00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,375 We're probably gonna run into someone. 133 00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:43,712 And come on. I don't have that many outfits. 134 00:05:43,796 --> 00:05:45,716 My clothes take up exactly one-quarter of the closet. 135 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,679 That's not fair. My clothes are bigger than yours. 136 00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:49,849 I hate to play this card, but I was dressed first. 137 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:53,775 Oh, that is silly. Lily, it's time to play "Who Wore It Best?" 138 00:05:55,361 --> 00:05:57,407 Nope. I'm not doing this again. I can't. 139 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,577 Fine. Alex. 140 00:05:59,661 --> 00:06:03,252 Uh, I don't know. Boys' clothes aren't really my thing. 141 00:06:03,336 --> 00:06:04,922 Really? 142 00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:11,058 I don't get it. Doesn't the wine get the cow drunk? 143 00:06:11,142 --> 00:06:12,729 - Thank you. - Honest to God. 144 00:06:12,813 --> 00:06:14,733 Have neither of you seen a cow? They're huge. 145 00:06:14,817 --> 00:06:16,194 I bet tequila would do it quicker. 146 00:06:16,278 --> 00:06:18,407 It's not the goal to get the cow drunk. 147 00:06:18,491 --> 00:06:21,037 You gotta be kidding me. Manny, see why your mother's taking so long. 148 00:06:21,121 --> 00:06:23,208 And don't tell her I sent you. 149 00:06:23,292 --> 00:06:25,629 - Mom, hurry! - Don't yell. I could have yelled. 150 00:06:25,713 --> 00:06:28,260 - Then why didn't you? - Because I didn't want to yell. I want you to go. 151 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,556 - Why can't you go? - Why can't you do what I ask? 152 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,226 I'm trying to do something new here! 153 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:34,189 Stop yelling, Jay! I'm ready! 154 00:06:34,273 --> 00:06:37,403 Oh, geez. Haley, Manny knows where all the baby stuff is, 155 00:06:37,487 --> 00:06:40,618 and if Joe won't go to bed, just put on Gladys Knight and bounce him around a little bit. 156 00:06:40,702 --> 00:06:43,122 Oh, you still do that? I loved when you did that with us. 157 00:06:43,207 --> 00:06:46,296 How about that? Somebody in this family remembers a nice thing I did. 158 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:47,715 I remember something nice you did. 159 00:06:47,799 --> 00:06:50,930 You bought me this dress yesterday when you were working. 160 00:06:51,014 --> 00:06:53,059 - How do I look? - Gorgeous. Let's go. 161 00:06:53,143 --> 00:06:54,979 You haven't even looked at me. Haley? 162 00:06:55,063 --> 00:06:57,360 Well, "A," your hair looks amazing, like you just got off a horse. 163 00:06:57,444 --> 00:06:59,531 That's exactly what I was going for. 164 00:06:59,615 --> 00:07:01,409 - But if I had one thought– - Nope! No thoughts. 165 00:07:01,493 --> 00:07:02,995 Are those for sure the best earrings? 166 00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:04,541 They seem to be kind of getting lost. 167 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,837 - I have the same color in a bigger size. - How much bigger? 168 00:07:06,921 --> 00:07:08,882 - Like a meter. - A meter? That's like a foot. 169 00:07:08,966 --> 00:07:11,513 - Actually, it's like a yard. - Oh, sorry– It's like a millimeter. 170 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,185 You mean a centimeter. 171 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,185 All this math. Just show me. 172 00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:15,521 Okay. 173 00:07:15,605 --> 00:07:17,066 - Gloria! - What? 174 00:07:19,111 --> 00:07:22,243 I think the new earrings are really gonna tie your whole outfit together. 175 00:07:22,327 --> 00:07:24,498 You're so sweet. 176 00:07:26,502 --> 00:07:28,129 Wow. That was very mature of you. 177 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:31,637 Yeah, well, I'm a lot older now than when she started getting dressed. 178 00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:34,809 So this sound– 179 00:07:36,313 --> 00:07:37,565 That's the doorbell. 180 00:07:37,649 --> 00:07:39,652 That other sound was the smoke alarm. 181 00:07:39,736 --> 00:07:42,658 - Got it. - Okay, and if you're hungry, don't order a pizza. 182 00:07:42,742 --> 00:07:44,245 They don't screen those delivery guys. 183 00:07:44,329 --> 00:07:46,666 - Half of them are ex-cons. - Stop it. You're gonna scare him. 184 00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:49,464 - It's gonna be fine. - But if you do choke, you've gotta throw yourself... 185 00:07:49,548 --> 00:07:52,595 - against the back of a chair to get the food out. - He'll just drink stuff. 186 00:07:52,679 --> 00:07:55,517 - Nothing from under the sink. - Even if it's lemony? 187 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,937 I'm just messing with you. 188 00:07:57,021 --> 00:07:58,607 In case of fire, go low and get out. 189 00:07:58,691 --> 00:08:01,279 - In case of earthquake– - Wait. You think there could be an earthquake? 190 00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:03,283 Last time we had one, that big cabinet fell on me. 191 00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:05,204 No, it didn't. 192 00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:05,204 It did? 193 00:08:05,288 --> 00:08:08,210 Let's go. 194 00:08:05,288 --> 00:08:08,210 Bye, honey. We love you. Do you have the keys? 195 00:08:08,294 --> 00:08:10,881 We're gonna check in. I promise! 196 00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:16,601 Uh, what's going on? 197 00:08:16,685 --> 00:08:18,814 - New suit? - This old thing? 198 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,401 Yes, it is. 199 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,401 Huh. 200 00:08:20,485 --> 00:08:22,488 I got it at this hipster place downtown. 201 00:08:22,572 --> 00:08:25,076 - You like it? - It's tight. 202 00:08:25,161 --> 00:08:26,663 Well, the salesman said it was the style, 203 00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:28,667 and he looked like a Mumford & Son, so I think he'd know. 204 00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:30,755 Mmm. Let's go. 205 00:08:32,425 --> 00:08:35,681 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, FloJo. 206 00:08:37,769 --> 00:08:39,897 You know what? We don't have time for this. I'll just change. 207 00:08:39,981 --> 00:08:43,363 Well, now I feel bad. Let's both just change. That's the fair thing to do. 208 00:08:43,447 --> 00:08:44,866 Okay, fine. But quickly, please. 209 00:08:44,950 --> 00:08:46,286 Okay. 210 00:08:48,039 --> 00:08:49,793 Uh– 211 00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,220 I don't know. 212 00:08:55,304 --> 00:08:56,848 It's blue. 213 00:08:56,932 --> 00:08:59,729 Yeah, this one's so yellow. 214 00:08:59,813 --> 00:09:02,610 Oh, you know what? I have a stain on this one. I can't wear it. 215 00:09:02,694 --> 00:09:04,822 Oh, paisley, yeah. I don't know. 216 00:09:04,906 --> 00:09:07,244 - Are you kidding me right now? - What? 217 00:09:07,328 --> 00:09:10,417 I know this trick, Cam. You take forever to pick out an outfit, 218 00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:12,838 knowing very well that I'll say, "Let's just go," because we're late. 219 00:09:12,922 --> 00:09:16,429 Meantime, you get credit for offering to change while I'm the one who actually does. 220 00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:17,973 - As usual. - Excuse me. 221 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:22,107 - Are you accusing me of manipulating you to get my way? - Actually– 222 00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:24,487 Because that's what my mother used to accuse me of, 223 00:09:24,571 --> 00:09:27,535 and I gotta say that brings up a lot of stuff with me. 224 00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:30,750 - You're crying without tears. - Give me a minute. 225 00:09:33,589 --> 00:09:36,970 "'Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents,' grumbled Jo. 226 00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:39,350 'It's so dreadful to be poor,' sighed"– 227 00:09:39,434 --> 00:09:41,688 Stop. I hate this. 228 00:09:41,772 --> 00:09:43,483 Can I put makeup on you? 229 00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:45,320 Why does everyone ask me that? 230 00:09:45,404 --> 00:09:47,158 Let's just have a good time tonight, all right? 231 00:09:47,242 --> 00:09:48,827 I'm not mad. 232 00:09:47,242 --> 00:09:48,827 Okay, good. 233 00:09:48,911 --> 00:09:50,914 And you do look super-duper handsome in that. 234 00:09:50,998 --> 00:09:53,127 Don't even. I'm gonna grab a water for the road. 235 00:09:53,212 --> 00:09:55,507 Yeah, get me a soda. Okay, Alex. Thank you so much. 236 00:09:55,591 --> 00:09:57,804 Have a fun night. Honey, we love you. 237 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,642 Here you go. 238 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,642 Thank you. 239 00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,438 Okay, and remember, no eating in the living room. 240 00:10:02,522 --> 00:10:04,233 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 241 00:10:05,695 --> 00:10:08,492 - What did you do? What did you do? - Oh, come on. 242 00:10:08,576 --> 00:10:10,704 - You can't possibly think– - You shook this can... 243 00:10:10,788 --> 00:10:12,750 so you could wear the outfit that I wanted to wear? 244 00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,587 That is exactly what I think. 245 00:10:14,671 --> 00:10:17,551 That is insane. You saw me take it from the refrigerator and bring it to you. 246 00:10:17,635 --> 00:10:20,056 Did I? Or were you out of my sight for the two seconds... 247 00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:22,143 that it took you to get from the refrigerator to here, 248 00:10:22,228 --> 00:10:25,234 which would have given you exactly the right amount of time to shake the can? 249 00:10:25,318 --> 00:10:27,905 Nice theory, Nancy Grace, but I'm not that petty. 250 00:10:27,989 --> 00:10:29,909 Okay, you two. Did you see anything? 251 00:10:29,993 --> 00:10:32,582 Just pretend you're coloring. 252 00:10:38,092 --> 00:10:39,345 Okay, what are you doing? 253 00:10:39,429 --> 00:10:41,558 I'm trying to reach the mirror. I got something in my eye. 254 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:42,768 Hi. You've reached the Dunphys– 255 00:10:42,852 --> 00:10:44,564 Why isn't Luke picking up? 256 00:10:44,648 --> 00:10:47,778 It's hard to reach the phone when you're tied up by a recently paroled pizza guy. 257 00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,949 - Ha, ha. You're very funny. 258 00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:52,120 What are you doing? 259 00:10:52,205 --> 00:10:54,208 I know it sounds weird– call it mother's intuition– 260 00:10:54,292 --> 00:10:56,337 but I just have this feeling that something is wrong. 261 00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:59,302 Fine, do what you want, but I've just about had it up to– 262 00:10:59,386 --> 00:11:01,390 higher than here with this. 263 00:11:02,392 --> 00:11:04,186 Oh! 264 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:05,981 Die, pizza man! 265 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:09,112 Ow! Ow! Stop! Stop! Stop! 266 00:11:09,197 --> 00:11:10,908 Oh. Sorry, Mom. 267 00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:16,001 Wow. Told you he could take care of himself. 268 00:11:18,424 --> 00:11:19,926 Move. 269 00:11:25,271 --> 00:11:28,067 Why does she do this? We're gonna lose our table. 270 00:11:28,152 --> 00:11:31,031 She knows how important it is to me to be on time. 271 00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:33,662 - This is torture. - I think you've lost perspective, Jay. 272 00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:36,124 You know what I would give to wait around for a woman like that? 273 00:11:36,209 --> 00:11:38,922 Reel it in, creepy. That's your mother up there. 274 00:11:39,006 --> 00:11:42,721 Sorry, sorry. Once I changed the earrings, I had to change the shoes. 275 00:11:42,805 --> 00:11:46,479 And then I tried on one of Gloria's old dresses, which made me feel like a 10-year-old boy. 276 00:11:46,563 --> 00:11:48,148 Ay, your body's beautiful. 277 00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:50,362 I agree. 278 00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:50,362 Take it outside the family. 279 00:11:50,446 --> 00:11:51,864 Okay, we ready to go? 280 00:11:51,948 --> 00:11:53,827 Oh, wait. I have the wrong lipstick. 281 00:11:53,911 --> 00:11:55,747 - Oh, that's it! I've had it! - Just one minute! 282 00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:58,001 Nothing takes a minute with you. We're leaving right now. 283 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:01,426 I don't care what you have to do. It's bad enough you're being rude to me, 284 00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:04,765 but you're being rude to the people sitting there waiting for us! 285 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:09,275 Sorry. You're the first to arrive, and we can't seat you till everyone's here. 286 00:12:10,068 --> 00:12:11,530 I hope you're happy. 287 00:12:19,587 --> 00:12:21,674 Where the hell is everybody? 288 00:12:21,758 --> 00:12:24,972 - Yes, I hate waiting like this. - Do you? 289 00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:28,730 Just because everybody else is late doesn't make it okay for us to be late. 290 00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:31,319 - I can't get ready fast with all the yelling! - I wasn't yelling. 291 00:12:31,403 --> 00:12:32,988 You see, you're doing it again! 292 00:12:33,072 --> 00:12:35,744 Gloria, you do this every single time. 293 00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:39,418 If you know how long it takes you to get ready, why don't you start earlier? 294 00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:41,589 - I have my reasons. - I would love to know them. 295 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:44,596 - You're going to be mean. - I promise I won't be. 296 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,436 I like to make an entrance. 297 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,357 What's that now? 298 00:12:50,441 --> 00:12:55,032 I like the part where I go in and everybody's waiting for me, 299 00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:57,454 and they say– 300 00:12:57,538 --> 00:13:02,381 "Gloria, you look so pretty, and that dress is so beautiful." 301 00:13:02,465 --> 00:13:05,387 - Is that so bad? - I don't love it. 302 00:13:06,598 --> 00:13:09,060 Oh, this room is so nice. 303 00:13:09,144 --> 00:13:10,730 I know. It's almost as gorgeous as– 304 00:13:10,814 --> 00:13:12,234 You monster! 305 00:13:12,318 --> 00:13:14,488 What? Oh, this? 306 00:13:14,572 --> 00:13:17,244 Well, you know, you couldn't wear it, so I figured, what's the harm? 307 00:13:17,328 --> 00:13:19,164 Mmm. You know what? I will go over there, 308 00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:21,502 and I will be as socially magnetic as I always am. 309 00:13:21,586 --> 00:13:23,130 We will put this on the back burner, 310 00:13:23,215 --> 00:13:25,927 but underneath, I want you to know I am fuming. 311 00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:28,600 - Hey, Jay, where's Gloria? - She's, uh– 312 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,230 She was here a second– 313 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,230 There are my boys! 314 00:13:31,314 --> 00:13:33,025 Gloria, you look so pretty. 315 00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:34,612 Your dress is so beautiful. 316 00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:38,118 You gotta be kidding me. 317 00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:40,498 You let him watch those scary shows with you, 318 00:13:40,582 --> 00:13:42,920 and then we leave him home alone at night. 319 00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:44,298 Of course he's gonna arm himself. 320 00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:46,719 He was fine until you gave him your "50 ways to die" speech. 321 00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:49,350 - What was the one about the welcome mat? - They are highly flammable. 322 00:13:49,434 --> 00:13:52,522 For seven to 10 people a year, they may as well say, "Welcome to the morgue." 323 00:13:52,606 --> 00:13:54,777 You know what? Drop it. I don't want to fight in public. 324 00:13:54,861 --> 00:13:55,820 It's embarrassing. 325 00:13:54,861 --> 00:13:55,820 Fine. 326 00:13:55,904 --> 00:13:57,658 Hi. How are you? 327 00:13:57,742 --> 00:13:59,828 Good evening. 328 00:13:57,742 --> 00:13:59,828 Good– Oh, my leg's asleep! 329 00:13:59,912 --> 00:14:02,124 My leg's asleep. Okay, thank you. 330 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,046 Oh. 331 00:14:07,595 --> 00:14:11,185 Sir, if the rest of your party doesn't arrive soon, we have to give up your table. 332 00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:13,564 - Any minute. - Again, Dad, sorry we're late. 333 00:14:13,648 --> 00:14:17,823 Yeah, Mitchell put on some music, and we were primping and dancing around, 334 00:14:17,907 --> 00:14:20,370 and I guess, well, we just lost track of time. 335 00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:23,083 Actually, Dad, what happened was Cam was practicing this trick... 336 00:14:23,168 --> 00:14:26,382 where he pretends to be accommodating and then magically gets his way. 337 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:27,718 There they are. 338 00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,805 We need a second. 339 00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,805 Cam, no! 340 00:14:29,889 --> 00:14:32,101 - Where are you guys going? - Can't talk. Too mad. 341 00:14:32,186 --> 00:14:33,313 Oh. 342 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,026 Come on. 343 00:14:38,490 --> 00:14:40,952 Hi, Dad. Where's Gloria? 344 00:14:41,036 --> 00:14:44,251 - She– For the love of– - There you are! 345 00:14:44,335 --> 00:14:47,174 - Whoa! Wow! - Oh, my goodness! That dress! 346 00:14:47,258 --> 00:14:49,720 Gloria, holy mackerel. 347 00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:52,893 We're so sorry we're late. We had to drop Luke off at your place. 348 00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:55,648 Phil wanted him to stay home alone, but he got scared. 349 00:14:55,732 --> 00:14:58,946 Man, I can't wait to get some food in my mouth and yours. 350 00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:01,827 Poor Haley. What is she going to do with all those boys? 351 00:15:11,181 --> 00:15:13,476 Whoo, whoo! 352 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,526 You know what? I resent the implication that I always get my way. 353 00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,363 Really? The "save the date" cards. 354 00:15:19,447 --> 00:15:21,951 - For our wedding? - Oh, so it is still our wedding. 355 00:15:22,035 --> 00:15:23,621 I wasn't sure I was even invited, 356 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:26,669 because you keep asking for my opinion and then doing the exact opposite. 357 00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:28,589 - That's one thing. - What about the music? 358 00:15:28,673 --> 00:15:30,552 I think our love deserves a band, not a deejay. 359 00:15:30,636 --> 00:15:32,681 - The tablecloths. - They make sneakers out of that fabric. 360 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,852 You won't let me pick one thing, and you want to know why? 361 00:15:34,936 --> 00:15:37,274 - Because I have better taste than you. 362 00:15:37,358 --> 00:15:39,903 - I was gonna say because you're a control freak. 363 00:15:39,987 --> 00:15:42,074 And how can you think that I have bad taste? 364 00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:44,204 We chose the exact same outfit. 365 00:15:44,288 --> 00:15:47,377 Did we? I wore fun loafers. You wore sensible oxfords. 366 00:15:47,461 --> 00:15:50,048 Your collar's buttoned down. Mine's a more current widespread. 367 00:15:50,132 --> 00:15:53,096 And I chose a bold pocket square to bring out the stripe in the shirt, 368 00:15:53,181 --> 00:15:57,104 all of which you wouldn't have thought of because, well, I've already said. 369 00:15:57,189 --> 00:15:59,401 You don't like my oxfords? 370 00:15:59,485 --> 00:16:01,906 I'm sorry. I'm being harsh. 371 00:16:01,990 --> 00:16:03,409 - They're fine. - Thank you. 372 00:16:03,493 --> 00:16:05,747 For a small-town detective. 373 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,876 Okay, look. I can't help myself. I did it again. 374 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,592 So I-I don't love them, but I do love you. 375 00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:13,429 And I don't want you to feel left out. 376 00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:16,894 Okay. Then let me have a say in planning our wedding. 377 00:16:16,978 --> 00:16:20,944 - That's what we agreed to. - You will and you should, and I'm sorry. 378 00:16:21,946 --> 00:16:23,449 - Thank you. 379 00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:26,288 - Can you just do one thing for me? - Sure. 380 00:16:26,372 --> 00:16:30,087 Just be honest, and I'll let this go forever. 381 00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:32,049 Did you shake that can? 382 00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:33,219 No. 383 00:16:35,182 --> 00:16:36,726 I'm gonna ask you one more time. 384 00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:40,733 See, Phil? They don't let Manny stay home alone. 385 00:16:40,817 --> 00:16:42,153 Why do you think Haley's there? 386 00:16:42,237 --> 00:16:44,283 Actually, we let Manny stay home all the time. 387 00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:49,584 And sometimes he makes cupcakes, which I could use one right about now. Or a potato. 388 00:16:49,668 --> 00:16:51,588 Haley's there to take care of Joe. 389 00:16:51,672 --> 00:16:53,843 Are you sure, guys? 'Cause Claire's always right about everything, 390 00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:55,430 all the time, forever and ever. 391 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,187 Thank God. Here they are. Fiona, we're all here. 392 00:16:59,271 --> 00:17:01,525 Actually, Dad, we could use a moment. 393 00:17:01,609 --> 00:17:04,197 I'm going to eat my hand. 394 00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:07,579 "Jo immediately sat up, put her hands in her pockets and began to whistle. 395 00:17:07,663 --> 00:17:09,666 'Don't, Jo. It's so boyish!' 396 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:10,918 'That's why I do it.' 397 00:17:11,002 --> 00:17:13,257 'I detest rude, unladylike girls!' 398 00:17:13,341 --> 00:17:15,678 'I hate affected, niminy-piminy chits!'" 399 00:17:15,762 --> 00:17:18,016 Okay, this stinks. I give up. 400 00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,814 Thank God. Want to see your hair? 401 00:17:22,651 --> 00:17:25,698 Wow. Lily, that's actually good. 402 00:17:25,782 --> 00:17:27,577 Can you really do makeup? 403 00:17:27,661 --> 00:17:29,290 Stay there. 404 00:17:31,502 --> 00:17:34,090 Is it really too much to ask that you consult me... 405 00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:35,593 before you make such a big decision? 406 00:17:35,677 --> 00:17:38,224 Claire, when you went back to work, you asked me to take the reins. 407 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:40,143 So I think you need to trust me now. 408 00:17:40,228 --> 00:17:42,232 Do you really think I'd put Luke in a dangerous situation? 409 00:17:42,316 --> 00:17:43,943 He's my favorite, which I did not just say. 410 00:17:44,027 --> 00:17:47,032 - If anything happens to him– - It won't. If you haven't noticed, 411 00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:49,955 I'm pretty good at this, as hard as it is for you to pay me a compliment. 412 00:17:50,039 --> 00:17:53,796 - Where is that coming from? - Well, do you like this suit? 413 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,218 I wouldn't know, because all you said was, "It's tight," 414 00:17:56,302 --> 00:17:57,846 and not in a cool black way. 415 00:17:57,930 --> 00:18:02,188 Wait, a-are you trying to say that you squeezed yourself in that for me? 416 00:18:02,272 --> 00:18:06,572 Yes. You've been a little distracted at work, so I wanted to look nice for you. 417 00:18:06,656 --> 00:18:08,535 Oh, honey. 418 00:18:10,163 --> 00:18:12,167 I'm sorry. I am so sorry. 419 00:18:12,251 --> 00:18:13,836 You're right. 420 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,631 Luke probably would have been fine, 421 00:18:15,715 --> 00:18:17,677 and I am having a hard time letting go. 422 00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:20,725 And if there's one person in the world I trust, it is you. 423 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:21,936 And? 424 00:18:23,146 --> 00:18:24,524 And... 425 00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:27,280 you look hot in that suit. 426 00:18:27,364 --> 00:18:29,326 When we get home later– 427 00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,371 Okay, you're actually gonna need to stop. 428 00:18:31,455 --> 00:18:33,375 This suit can't get any tighter. 429 00:18:33,459 --> 00:18:35,128 Hey, we're back. 430 00:18:35,213 --> 00:18:36,465 Nobody goes anywhere. 431 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,136 Everybody hold hands, and we go right to the table. 432 00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:42,769 - Fiona? - Actually, we just gave away your table. 433 00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:44,648 I'm sorry, but I did warn you about this. 434 00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,401 Listen to me, Fiorina. 435 00:18:46,485 --> 00:18:50,243 This man has been waiting to eat in this restaurant for months! 436 00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:52,914 We were all selfish, and we made him late. 437 00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,586 And maybe I got a little crazy, but I'm gonna think about that later. 438 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,799 But he has done nothing wrong. 439 00:18:57,883 --> 00:18:59,469 So we're not gonna leave this place... 440 00:18:59,553 --> 00:19:03,519 until he eats that drunk cow that he can't shut up his mouth about! 441 00:19:05,357 --> 00:19:07,109 Why you haven't move? 442 00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:10,157 Last night, I had the greatest meal I've ever had. 443 00:19:10,241 --> 00:19:15,125 And it never would have happened if Gloria hadn't got us kicked out of that snooty restaurant. 444 00:19:17,881 --> 00:19:18,966 Tacos. 445 00:19:20,135 --> 00:19:22,432 Tacos, yes. - I need a taco. 446 00:19:22,516 --> 00:19:23,559 Taco truck! 447 00:19:27,776 --> 00:19:29,988 Mmm! That is delicious. 448 00:19:30,072 --> 00:19:32,327 No, but seriously, who looks better? 449 00:19:32,411 --> 00:19:35,833 I don't know if it was the six scotches I drank... 450 00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:39,382 waiting for everybody, or the fact that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast... 451 00:19:39,466 --> 00:19:42,847 or the moment Phil's suit finally gave up. 452 00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:46,938 They even played my favorite song. 453 00:19:51,114 --> 00:19:53,034 Dad. 454 00:20:04,308 --> 00:20:06,395 - Yeah! - Ooh! 455 00:20:14,286 --> 00:20:18,752 A train I'd never make unless I told Gloria it left at 11:00. 456 00:20:28,606 --> 00:20:30,108 Here you go. 457 00:20:30,193 --> 00:20:32,697 I didn't know what you wanted to drink, so I just got you this soda. 458 00:20:32,781 --> 00:20:34,451 Oh, that's fine. Thank you. 459 00:20:36,705 --> 00:20:41,298 - Cam, what did you do? - I did exactly what you did, because I know you so well. 460 00:20:41,382 --> 00:20:42,675 I didn't shake the soda. 461 00:20:42,759 --> 00:20:46,392 Then you have nothing to worry about, so go ahead and open it. 462 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,403 I shook it, okay? I shook the soda. I shook it up! 463 00:20:52,487 --> 00:20:53,655 Are you happy? 464 00:20:53,739 --> 00:20:55,869 It was petty and stupid and awful. I'm sorry. 465 00:20:57,079 --> 00:20:59,082 Damn it. 466 00:21:00,712 --> 00:21:02,131 Ah!