1 00:00:02,379 --> 00:00:04,672 I sure hope Mom and Dad are surprised... 2 00:00:04,756 --> 00:00:07,467 by this anniversary breakfast we're bringing them! 3 00:00:07,551 --> 00:00:09,803 I'd hate to walk in on them if they're naked! 4 00:00:09,887 --> 00:00:11,888 Yes, that kind of image could haunt someone... 5 00:00:11,972 --> 00:00:14,641 as she tries to fall asleep even years later. 6 00:00:14,725 --> 00:00:16,976 Oh, relax. I think you're safe. 7 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,728 Or are they? 8 00:00:18,812 --> 00:00:21,272 It's our 20th anniversary, so today at the school fair... 9 00:00:21,356 --> 00:00:25,276 a band called the Dad Beats is gonna surprise Claire with a power love ballad. 10 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,488 And the lead singer– You might wanna sit down– 11 00:00:28,572 --> 00:00:32,659 is the one and only, get up on your feet, this guy! 12 00:00:43,253 --> 00:00:46,214 Or maybe an existing song. 13 00:00:46,298 --> 00:00:47,799 Thank you. 14 00:01:01,188 --> 00:01:03,273 Do you wanna get your face painted like a pretty butterfly? 15 00:01:03,357 --> 00:01:05,525 No, I'm just not in the mood. 16 00:01:05,609 --> 00:01:07,110 Lily, what about you? 17 00:01:07,194 --> 00:01:08,820 You know what? Maybe I will have them paint... 18 00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:10,530 "Worst Coach Ever" on my forehead. 19 00:01:10,614 --> 00:01:12,532 Cam's coaching freshman football, 20 00:01:12,616 --> 00:01:14,075 and his team's losing, 21 00:01:14,159 --> 00:01:16,953 and it's making him a– a little tense. 22 00:01:17,037 --> 00:01:19,914 Run! Run! Protect it like it's your baby! 23 00:01:19,998 --> 00:01:21,666 You dropped your baby! 24 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,126 They're running away with your baby! 25 00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:24,377 Go get your baby! 26 00:01:24,461 --> 00:01:25,753 That's the worst call... 27 00:01:25,837 --> 00:01:29,132 since they cast Russell Crowe in Les Mis. Right there! 28 00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:31,718 You see the way everyone's glaring at me? 29 00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:31,718 No. 30 00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:33,553 Like a big loser coach? 31 00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:33,553 All in your head. 32 00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:35,054 I'm the Hester Prynne of freshman football. 33 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,473 I may as well have a scarlet "L" sewn on my shirt. 34 00:01:37,557 --> 00:01:39,184 Then everyone would think you're Laverne. 35 00:01:39,268 --> 00:01:41,311 Coach Tucker. 36 00:01:39,268 --> 00:01:41,311 Oh, hey. 37 00:01:41,395 --> 00:01:43,396 That was a tough loss last night. 38 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,982 Yep, yep. Sure was. I feel your frustration. Sure do. 39 00:01:46,066 --> 00:01:48,359 Uh, Mitchell, this is John. He's Trevor's dad. 40 00:01:48,443 --> 00:01:49,903 Sorry. 41 00:01:48,443 --> 00:01:49,903 Star running back. 42 00:01:49,987 --> 00:01:51,487 Well, maybe not for long. 43 00:01:51,571 --> 00:01:53,781 - I'm seriously thinking about pulling him from the team. - What? Why? 44 00:01:53,865 --> 00:01:55,366 'Cause Trevor's getting killed out there. 45 00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:56,910 Got no one to block for him. 46 00:01:56,994 --> 00:01:59,579 I-I hear what you're saying, and you're not wrong, 47 00:01:59,663 --> 00:02:01,331 but give me a little time. 48 00:02:01,415 --> 00:02:04,292 You got one week. Hey! 49 00:02:04,376 --> 00:02:07,420 Well, that is not appropriate fair behavior at all. 50 00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:08,922 You know what might make you feel better? 51 00:02:09,006 --> 00:02:11,007 Gathering my team and putting the fear of God in them. 52 00:02:11,091 --> 00:02:13,260 I was gonna say a churro. 53 00:02:11,091 --> 00:02:13,260 I can do both! 54 00:02:14,386 --> 00:02:17,180 She's a mess. 55 00:02:14,386 --> 00:02:17,180 Girl. 56 00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:20,433 Hey, lead foot, easy on the turns. 57 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:21,935 I worked hours on this cake. 58 00:02:22,019 --> 00:02:23,728 - You're sure you wanna do this? 59 00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:26,397 I'm going to win the cake contest. And then there'll be no stopping me. 60 00:02:26,481 --> 00:02:29,525 - From what, a beating? - First place ribbons earn respect, Jay. 61 00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:32,111 Not if your competition's a bunch of old ladies and weirdos. 62 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,738 Could you just be nice? 63 00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:36,991 You didn't seem to care when you were eating all his practice cake. 64 00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:38,452 Finally. 65 00:02:39,703 --> 00:02:40,954 What are you gonna do, pal? 66 00:02:41,038 --> 00:02:42,956 'Bout to ask you the same thing. 67 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,124 - Did you not see my blinker? - Nope. 68 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,709 Then you're blind, 'cause it's on. 69 00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:49,170 Looking at you, I'm guessing it was on the whole way here. 70 00:02:49,254 --> 00:02:52,298 I got all day and satellite radio! 71 00:02:52,382 --> 00:02:54,842 I don't care if parking here is on your bucket list. 72 00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:59,055 I got two books on tape, a space blanket and a protein bar in the glove box. 73 00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:00,974 I will sleep here if I have to. 74 00:03:01,058 --> 00:03:03,977 We're not moving. 75 00:03:01,058 --> 00:03:03,977 Ay. But we are. Let's go, Manny. 76 00:03:16,156 --> 00:03:19,742 - Who are you? - Oh, my God, you scared the hell out of me. 77 00:03:19,826 --> 00:03:21,703 Okay. Language. There's a baby in the house. 78 00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:23,579 Uh, that baby happens to be my uncle. 79 00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:25,331 Oh. Which one are you? 80 00:03:25,415 --> 00:03:27,583 I need to tell Mr. P. you broke one of his beers. 81 00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:29,669 I'm Alex. Who are you? 82 00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:31,879 - I'm their manny. Nice try. 83 00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:34,048 I know their Manny, and you look nothing like him. 84 00:03:34,132 --> 00:03:35,717 Oh, you're Haley. 85 00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,094 I'm their male nanny, Andy. 86 00:03:38,178 --> 00:03:39,846 You really need to move. 87 00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:41,848 Okay, well, I'll be out by the pool. 88 00:03:41,932 --> 00:03:43,933 What? Nope. No, no, no. 89 00:03:44,017 --> 00:03:45,518 Not without permission, you're not. 90 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,520 I'm gonna call Mr. And Mrs. P. 91 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,520 Oh, wait. 92 00:03:47,604 --> 00:03:52,692 Um, seriously, Mandy, do you, uh– do you really have to do that? 93 00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:54,736 I see what you're doing. 94 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:57,572 Don't bother, because I have a girlfriend of eight years back in Utah. 95 00:03:57,656 --> 00:03:59,907 That's pretty young, but I guess they do things differently over there. 96 00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:02,744 She's my age, and we're engaged. To be engaged. 97 00:04:02,828 --> 00:04:05,747 It's– It's a pre-engagement. She's in the coast guard. 98 00:04:05,831 --> 00:04:07,332 - In Utah? - Yeah. 99 00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:09,083 It's the largest salt lake in the western hemisphere. 100 00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:10,918 Oh, good. She's protecting our lake. 101 00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,545 I'll be out by the pool. 102 00:04:12,629 --> 00:04:15,132 Your boss is calling you. 103 00:04:17,926 --> 00:04:19,761 Hey! There she is. 104 00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:21,971 - Yeah, I'm not giving you any money. - I don't need your money. 105 00:04:22,055 --> 00:04:24,640 I need advice. About a girl. 106 00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:26,893 Gross, but I'm intrigued, so talk. 107 00:04:26,977 --> 00:04:28,978 Alex. Hey, girlita. 108 00:04:29,062 --> 00:04:31,564 Sienna! Girl! 109 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:33,775 Sienna is amazing. 110 00:04:33,859 --> 00:04:35,568 Stylish, worldly. 111 00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:37,737 And she's so new to our school, she doesn't even realize... 112 00:04:37,821 --> 00:04:39,822 that I'm a full social class below her. 113 00:04:39,906 --> 00:04:43,785 I need to cement the friendship before she finds out we have a cafeteria. 114 00:04:43,869 --> 00:04:45,453 I've been looking all over for you. 115 00:04:45,537 --> 00:04:48,915 Uh, this is my little brother, Luke. 116 00:04:48,999 --> 00:04:51,250 He wants advice on some lame crush he has. 117 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,419 - That's huge. - So huge. 118 00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:56,339 So, Luke, who is this mystery woman? 119 00:04:56,423 --> 00:04:59,133 Um, just some girl. 120 00:04:59,217 --> 00:05:01,677 And her name is Sienna. 121 00:05:04,848 --> 00:05:06,933 You know, Manny, I'm just gonna say this one last time. 122 00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:09,310 I doubt that. 123 00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:09,310 Gimme that. 124 00:05:09,394 --> 00:05:10,895 You wanna fit in? 125 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:13,564 You're not doing yourself any favors with this cake contest. 126 00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,149 I don't know. Chefs get all the girls. 127 00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:16,943 You're a baker. Bakers are girls– 128 00:05:17,027 --> 00:05:19,404 Betty Crocker, Mrs. Fields, Little Debbie. 129 00:05:19,488 --> 00:05:21,030 What about the Pillsbury Doughboy? 130 00:05:21,114 --> 00:05:23,950 That's a good one, Manny. 131 00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:27,328 Well, well, well. Jay Pritchett. Nice of you to finally show up. 132 00:05:27,412 --> 00:05:29,288 - What's happening? - You're an official fair cop. 133 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,040 - Your wife volunteered you. - Gloria! 134 00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:32,500 I love you. Have fun! 135 00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:34,127 What is this? 136 00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:34,127 It's for charity. 137 00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:37,130 People pay for you to arrest and throw somebody in jail for 10 minutes. 138 00:05:37,214 --> 00:05:39,674 - And here comes your partner. - What's up? 139 00:05:39,758 --> 00:05:41,634 Oh, hell, no. I'm not working with this clown. 140 00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:44,011 Hey, who you calling a clown, bucket list? 141 00:05:44,095 --> 00:05:45,471 I see you two have already met. 142 00:05:45,555 --> 00:05:47,640 That was my space, and you know it. 143 00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:49,892 Tell it to my car. You know where to find it. 144 00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:51,936 Hey! Enough of you two squabbling. 145 00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:54,313 I've got the P.T.A. breathing down my neck. 146 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,982 Just pin these on and get to work. 147 00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:58,317 Nope. Can't do the badge, sorry. 148 00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:01,195 My wife just bought me this shirt, and if I ruin it, she'll kill me. 149 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,448 - You're afraid you'll ruin your blouse. - It's not a blouse. 150 00:06:03,532 --> 00:06:05,867 It's a shirt. She bought it at the men's department, so it's a shirt. 151 00:06:07,202 --> 00:06:09,662 Here's your first arrest. She's over at the Dizzy Dragon. 152 00:06:09,746 --> 00:06:11,998 Word on the midway is she's tougher than she looks. 153 00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:14,333 Think you can handle it? 154 00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:14,333 Why couldn't I handle it? 155 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,919 'Cause she's your daughter. 156 00:06:19,673 --> 00:06:20,798 Hello? 157 00:06:20,882 --> 00:06:22,842 Oh, hi, Mr. Chang. Yeah. 158 00:06:22,926 --> 00:06:24,469 What do you mean you're at the house already? 159 00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,262 You're not supposed to be there for another two hours. 160 00:06:26,346 --> 00:06:29,515 I have a long history of giving Phil bad anniversary gifts. 161 00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:32,226 But this year, I have planned something amazing. 162 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:35,146 The traditional 20th gift is china, but what am I gonna do? 163 00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:37,023 Give him a plate? 164 00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,608 I already did that. 165 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,614 Honey, um, what do you say we pack it in and go home? 166 00:06:44,698 --> 00:06:47,742 What? No. We just got here. I haven't even whacked a mole yet. 167 00:06:47,826 --> 00:06:50,369 I know, but I just got off the Ferris wheel, and I'm feeling really queasy. 168 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,121 But you're gonna miss the Dad Beats. 169 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,121 Well– 170 00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:54,624 No way. Come on. Let's get you a fried pickle. 171 00:06:54,708 --> 00:06:56,209 Phil, I might throw up. 172 00:06:56,293 --> 00:07:00,379 Uh-uh. No one throws up until I sing. 173 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,923 We gotta go. We gotta go home now. 174 00:07:02,007 --> 00:07:03,883 Sure, why not? Nothing keeping you here. 175 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:06,219 - Why are you acting weird? - I'm not acting weird. 176 00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:08,054 Well– 177 00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:08,054 Got her! Ma'am? 178 00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:09,931 I am afraid you are under arrest. 179 00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:12,767 Uh, no. Dad, tell him I can't do this right now. 180 00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:14,435 Come on, please. 181 00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:14,435 Go ahead, read her the charges. 182 00:07:14,519 --> 00:07:16,145 Can't do this. 183 00:07:16,229 --> 00:07:18,940 All right, let's see. You have been charged with unlawful sexiness... 184 00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:21,567 and possession of a hot booty. 185 00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:21,567 That is wrong. 186 00:07:21,651 --> 00:07:23,319 Guilty as charged. 187 00:07:21,651 --> 00:07:23,319 Stop it! 188 00:07:23,403 --> 00:07:25,530 All right. Ten minutes in the slammer. 189 00:07:23,403 --> 00:07:25,530 No, I can't. 190 00:07:25,614 --> 00:07:27,824 I don't have time for this. Phil! 191 00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:36,249 Oh, my God. What are you doing, perv? 192 00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:39,460 Getting proof of where the two missing beers went. You can't drink that out here. 193 00:07:39,544 --> 00:07:41,546 Hmm. Let's see if you're right. 194 00:07:42,839 --> 00:07:44,423 Mmm. No. 195 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,718 Okay. Well, you're in a pool zone, and that is glass. 196 00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,845 So that's not safe. It's dangerous. 197 00:07:49,929 --> 00:07:52,139 What is with you and your girlfriend protecting water? 198 00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:53,849 Okay, just– If you just– 199 00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:53,849 No. 200 00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:55,309 Just– 201 00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:55,309 Uh, uh, oh! 202 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:57,603 Oh! Oh, dilly. 203 00:07:57,687 --> 00:07:59,730 Now you've done it. You're going to have to climb in there... 204 00:07:59,814 --> 00:08:01,274 and get all the glass out of the pool. 205 00:08:01,358 --> 00:08:04,152 Um, I just got my hair straightened, so that's not gonna happen. 206 00:08:04,903 --> 00:08:06,404 I hate to go all ballistic, 207 00:08:06,488 --> 00:08:09,365 but it has not been a pleasure meeting you. 208 00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:11,784 Do you kiss your imaginary girlfriend with that mouth? 209 00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:15,288 I do. But she's real, so– She's a real girl. 210 00:08:15,372 --> 00:08:18,875 It all comes down to one thing, gentlemen. 211 00:08:20,043 --> 00:08:21,794 Focus. 212 00:08:21,878 --> 00:08:24,297 And teamwork and heart. 213 00:08:24,381 --> 00:08:25,715 You see this mallet? 214 00:08:25,799 --> 00:08:29,052 Think I can swing this here mallet with one finger? 215 00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:33,180 No. I need my whole team. 216 00:08:33,264 --> 00:08:36,434 Because when you're functioning and working as a team, 217 00:08:36,518 --> 00:08:39,145 gentlemen, look out! 218 00:08:39,229 --> 00:08:41,647 - Sassy granny? - Yeah, sassy granny. 219 00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:43,190 Yes, exactly! 220 00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:45,860 Because that is what you all played like last night– 221 00:08:45,944 --> 00:08:48,904 is a bunch of sassy grannies. 222 00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:51,741 We're gonna bust our humps this week, and we're gonna get out there, 223 00:08:51,825 --> 00:08:54,160 and we're gonna play like a bunch of– 224 00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:55,620 Girly men. Got it. 225 00:08:55,704 --> 00:08:57,580 Okay, you know what? Is this thing, uh, plugged in? 226 00:08:57,664 --> 00:09:00,833 It's not electric. I think it was made in the 1800s. 227 00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:03,794 Okay, well, that's my point. 228 00:09:03,878 --> 00:09:05,338 This is outdated. 229 00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:07,841 This is offensive, because girls are athletes too. 230 00:09:08,925 --> 00:09:11,010 So, in conclusion, 231 00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:14,180 if you wanna win football games, 232 00:09:14,264 --> 00:09:17,142 we gotta go out there and play like a– 233 00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:22,938 What is Daddy doing? 234 00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:22,938 Daddy's smashing his demons. 235 00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:25,024 Oh, like the ones you vacuum up at home? 236 00:09:25,108 --> 00:09:26,609 Yeah, like that. 237 00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:29,779 Mmm. Damn. Near miss. 238 00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:32,031 Why the hell are you so dressed up for a school fair, anyway? 239 00:09:32,115 --> 00:09:34,659 How is this dressed up? I'm– 240 00:09:34,743 --> 00:09:37,036 Why? Because my shirt has buttons? 241 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,621 What's that fabric? Is that silk? 242 00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:41,457 Get your vanilla fingers away from my shirt. 243 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:43,834 Blouse. 244 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:43,834 Okay. 245 00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:46,295 You wanna talk about clothes? Let's talk about clothes. Let's go. 246 00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:49,340 Let's see. You look like some kind of old, washed-up golf pro... 247 00:09:49,424 --> 00:09:53,344 who drank his way off the tour and is one step away from writing a suicide note... 248 00:09:53,428 --> 00:09:55,680 with one of them little pencils. 249 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:01,727 Sorry. I didn't mean that. 250 00:10:01,811 --> 00:10:03,980 Wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it. 251 00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:07,566 I don't have the body to wear the clothes they make today, 252 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,151 so I dress comfortable. 253 00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:11,987 You're in shape, man. What are you, late 50s? 254 00:10:12,071 --> 00:10:14,323 Come on. You know I'm not. 255 00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:17,743 I'm serious, man. You look like you live at the gym. 256 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:19,328 I do some walking. 257 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:19,328 Yeah? 258 00:10:19,412 --> 00:10:20,913 Pritchett, Williams. 259 00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:23,291 Got another arrest over by the Ferris wheel. 260 00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:23,291 On it. 261 00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,919 Here we go. 262 00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:33,968 Why'd we throw out the ice cream? We got plenty of time. 263 00:10:35,178 --> 00:10:37,012 Quit it! 264 00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:38,305 Come on, man. Give it back. 265 00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:39,890 Seeing Manny up there... 266 00:10:39,974 --> 00:10:42,268 with the misfits and their crazy cakes, 267 00:10:42,352 --> 00:10:45,146 I started to wonder if Jay was right. 268 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:48,524 Maybe Manny would fit in better if he was more like the other boys. 269 00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:51,069 And maybe I needed to give him a little push. 270 00:10:56,366 --> 00:10:58,284 - I saw you. 271 00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:04,790 All right, young lady. 272 00:11:04,874 --> 00:11:06,625 You're under arrest. 273 00:11:04,874 --> 00:11:06,625 What? 274 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,294 You have the right to remain silent. 275 00:11:08,378 --> 00:11:10,337 Good luck with that. - Grandpa! 276 00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:12,965 Sorry, honey. Part of the job. 277 00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:14,508 Out of the way! 278 00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:14,508 Let's go. 279 00:11:14,592 --> 00:11:16,635 Who did this? 280 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,513 Hmm. Guess it's just you and me. 281 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:24,143 My cake! Somebody ruined it. Who would do that? 282 00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:27,146 Ay, Manny, how terrible. All your hard work. 283 00:11:27,230 --> 00:11:28,647 Oh, well. Let's go ride the ride. 284 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,566 No, Mom. I know who did it. 285 00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:32,818 - Oh, you do? - It was Enid. 286 00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:34,403 Ah. Look at her. 287 00:11:34,487 --> 00:11:35,988 You can see the hate in her eyes. 288 00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:37,865 The minute she saw this, she felt threatened. 289 00:11:37,949 --> 00:11:41,327 - She's cold as ice. 290 00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:45,080 How 'bout you just let it go and go play with the other boys? 291 00:11:45,164 --> 00:11:46,916 Oh, she'd love that. 292 00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:48,834 Okay, Enid. 293 00:11:48,918 --> 00:11:51,546 You wanna dance? Let's dance. 294 00:11:55,425 --> 00:11:58,552 Hey. Let me have my cell phone. Come on. I gotta make a call. 295 00:11:58,636 --> 00:12:01,138 Sorry, those are the rules. 296 00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:03,516 What are you smiling at? 297 00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:03,516 I'm six. 298 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,185 Oh, God. 299 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,185 All right. Got another one for you here. 300 00:12:06,269 --> 00:12:07,186 Hi, honey. 301 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:08,437 Come on. 302 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:08,437 Hmm. 303 00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:10,523 One count of being an aggravating big sister. 304 00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:12,107 That's eight to 10 minutes. 305 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:15,194 Luke did this? I was just trying to help him. 306 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:15,194 Help him do what? 307 00:12:15,278 --> 00:12:18,364 My friend Sienna and I were trying to help him find this girl he has a crush on. 308 00:12:18,448 --> 00:12:20,866 Honey, Sienna is the girl he has a crush on. 309 00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:22,868 Come on. Haven't you ever seen the way he looks at her? 310 00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:25,037 The same way he used to look at Halloween candy. 311 00:12:25,121 --> 00:12:27,248 Oh, my God. He's gonna do something stupid and ruin it for me. 312 00:12:27,332 --> 00:12:28,707 I have to get out of here. 313 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:31,085 Okay. All right. I got a plan. I got this. 314 00:12:31,169 --> 00:12:33,963 I'm gonna create a distraction. It's gonna get that little guard over here. 315 00:12:34,047 --> 00:12:36,715 You're gonna sit down very quietly right by this door. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 316 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,802 Great plan, Mom. Let me know how that works out for you. 317 00:12:42,138 --> 00:12:45,475 - It's a fake lock. - How long were you gonna sit on that? 318 00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:52,106 Found another one. I told you. 319 00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:55,609 Are you gonna do that every time? You found glass, not the lost city of Atlanta. 320 00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:58,320 Wow, I'm gonna chalk that one up to a lot of underage drinking. 321 00:12:58,404 --> 00:12:59,864 - You're bleeding. - What? 322 00:12:59,948 --> 00:13:02,408 Oh! Oh! I do not like blood. 323 00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:04,076 I do not like blood. Is it bad? 324 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,245 Here. Oh, my God! 325 00:13:06,329 --> 00:13:09,248 - What? - Your fingers are so stubby, like baby carrots. 326 00:13:09,332 --> 00:13:11,417 Sure. Okay. Make fun. 327 00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:14,128 Till you need me to reach into a vending machine. Then I'm everyone's best friend. 328 00:13:14,212 --> 00:13:16,172 Here, hold still. Let me put some pressure on it. 329 00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:19,425 So why are you a manny anyway? 330 00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:22,428 Saving up for college. Plus, I like kids. 331 00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:25,389 'Cause they make your hands seem normal? 332 00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,391 - Okay. Thank you. 333 00:13:27,475 --> 00:13:29,018 I'm good. Thank you. 334 00:13:30,228 --> 00:13:33,439 Luke, I hate to say it, but maybe this girl left. 335 00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:36,859 It's probably for the best. I mean, even if we found her– 336 00:13:36,943 --> 00:13:38,694 Forget it. It's embarrassing. 337 00:13:38,778 --> 00:13:40,363 No. Tell me. 338 00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:42,907 I wouldn't know what to do. 339 00:13:42,991 --> 00:13:44,450 I've never kissed a girl before. 340 00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:46,452 Oh. It's not that hard. 341 00:13:46,536 --> 00:13:49,288 You know what? I'll kiss you once to show you how it's done. 342 00:13:49,372 --> 00:13:51,290 Really? Okay! Wanna go behind the Dumpster? 343 00:13:51,374 --> 00:13:53,125 No, here is fine. 344 00:13:53,209 --> 00:13:57,796 Okay. It's not really how I imagined it, but– 345 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,256 Stop! 346 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,256 What? 347 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:00,633 Ignore her. Where were we? 348 00:14:00,717 --> 00:14:02,259 You're the girl! You're his crush! 349 00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:04,470 He's being a little weirdo. Please don't judge me! 350 00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:06,472 Uh, Luke, is this true? 351 00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,015 She's a nerd! Her friends are books. 352 00:14:08,099 --> 00:14:09,808 You're the best thing that's ever happened to her. 353 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:12,394 Alex? Um, I don't know what he's talking about. 354 00:14:12,478 --> 00:14:14,731 Okay, I'm just gonna go catch up with some friends. 355 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,567 Sienna, wait! 356 00:14:19,152 --> 00:14:21,195 Don't be sad. You're too good for her anyways. 357 00:14:21,279 --> 00:14:23,155 Yeah. Thanks, Alex. 358 00:14:23,239 --> 00:14:26,867 Not you! I was talking about myself, you little gnome. 359 00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:28,745 There he is. 360 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,705 One more arrest, and we can hang up our badges. 361 00:14:31,789 --> 00:14:35,001 I seen this punk horsing around earlier. I'm gonna enjoy this. 362 00:14:36,252 --> 00:14:39,088 Jail time, jean jacket. 363 00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:47,429 - Is it bad? - You're gonna be fine. 364 00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:50,057 I should have worn a vest. 365 00:14:50,141 --> 00:14:52,935 Why is everyone just standing around? 366 00:14:53,019 --> 00:14:54,853 Get this man a towel for his blouse! 367 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:59,358 So cold. 368 00:15:00,902 --> 00:15:03,362 We were almost out. 369 00:15:03,446 --> 00:15:04,780 I didn't want it to end like this. 370 00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:06,532 Don't you do that! It's not over. 371 00:15:06,616 --> 00:15:08,076 Listen to me. 372 00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:12,037 I need you to tell my wife what happened. 373 00:15:12,121 --> 00:15:15,207 - Tell her it wasn't my fault. - You're gonna tell her yourself! 374 00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:17,919 - She's standing right there, and she looks pissed. - Uh– 375 00:15:18,795 --> 00:15:21,630 Hi, baby. 376 00:15:21,714 --> 00:15:23,215 Phil. 377 00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:26,051 Phil, when I said we needed to go home, I meant it. 378 00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:28,095 I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. 379 00:15:28,179 --> 00:15:31,140 But you have to stay for just one song. 380 00:15:31,224 --> 00:15:33,476 Why? 381 00:15:31,224 --> 00:15:33,476 Trust me. 382 00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:37,104 How's everybody doing? 383 00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:37,104 Good! 384 00:15:37,188 --> 00:15:39,982 All right, next up, we have a very special guest joining us. 385 00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:41,650 Ladies and gentlemen, 386 00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:43,318 give it up for... 387 00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:46,489 Harold Grossman! 388 00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:46,489 Wait. What? 389 00:15:47,657 --> 00:15:50,909 Uh, never really done anything like this before. 390 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:55,914 Uh, some of the gang down at the pharmacy talked me into it, so– 391 00:16:06,926 --> 00:16:09,261 Uh-oh. 392 00:16:06,926 --> 00:16:09,261 Oh, wow. 393 00:16:21,357 --> 00:16:22,983 Oh! 394 00:16:21,357 --> 00:16:22,983 Turns out Harold Grossman, 395 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,943 our pharmacist, is a rock star. 396 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,862 His voice is the drug he should be dispensing... 397 00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:29,364 because, apparently, it's the cure for everything. 398 00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:30,949 Okay, time to go. Let's go. 399 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:34,954 No, no, no! Stay, stay. Come on! He's great. Whoo! 400 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:56,809 Oh, he's incredible! 401 00:16:56,893 --> 00:17:00,813 I don't know. Well. 402 00:16:56,893 --> 00:17:00,813 Incredible! 403 00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:03,649 Harold Grossman, everybody. 404 00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:05,484 Holy cow! 405 00:17:05,568 --> 00:17:07,986 Who knew? 406 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:11,156 Let's keep this party going. Next up, we have one more guest today. 407 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,616 Oh. No. 408 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,494 Harold! Harold! 409 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,494 Yeah, Harold! Harold! 410 00:17:15,578 --> 00:17:18,413 Okay, now, okay. Maybe Harold can come back a little later. 411 00:17:22,752 --> 00:17:24,086 But in the meantime, 412 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,672 the Dad Beats are proud to present... 413 00:17:26,756 --> 00:17:28,006 Phil Dunphy! 414 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:31,176 Paul who? 415 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:31,176 Phil? 416 00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:32,553 Phil Dunphy. 417 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:35,264 Oh, Phil Dunphy. 418 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:35,264 Oh, boy. 419 00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:46,733 There's a white minivan out in the parking lot with its lights on, 420 00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:48,861 license plate number... 421 00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:56,953 Phil Dunphy, everybody. 422 00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:01,623 - Hey, Mom, check it out. I finished my cake. - Oh, good. 423 00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:04,877 It's Los Angeles after an 11.5 earthquake. 424 00:18:04,961 --> 00:18:08,338 I call it "Earth-Cake." 425 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:11,175 Honey, that's amazing. - You think that's amazing? 426 00:18:11,259 --> 00:18:13,802 Wait till I smash this thing right on top of Enid's piece of sheet cake. 427 00:18:13,886 --> 00:18:15,429 Ay, no. No, wait! Manny– 428 00:18:15,513 --> 00:18:17,472 Enid didn't do it. I did it. 429 00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:20,559 - What? - I was the one who ruined the cake. 430 00:18:20,643 --> 00:18:23,812 I was afraid that all those boys were gonna make fun of you. 431 00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:27,733 I think I care more about you fitting in than you do. 432 00:18:27,817 --> 00:18:31,195 No, I care. I care a lot. 433 00:18:31,279 --> 00:18:34,615 It's just the stuff I'm good at isn't the stuff that makes you popular. 434 00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:37,075 Contestants, all cakes must be... 435 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:40,078 at the judges' table in 60 seconds. 436 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,748 Ay, there's no way we're gonna make it through that crowd. 437 00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:44,791 Like heck we won't. Here. 438 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,585 What? 439 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,585 Follow my lead. 440 00:18:46,669 --> 00:18:48,295 Okay. ! Ay! 441 00:18:46,669 --> 00:18:48,295 Ready? Come on! 442 00:18:48,379 --> 00:18:51,423 Oh, well, look who finally put down his mallet. 443 00:18:51,507 --> 00:18:54,176 - You done having your little temper tantrum? - It wasn't that bad. 444 00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,094 Cam, your behavior was completely juvenile, 445 00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,180 and I don't think it set a very good example for– 446 00:18:58,264 --> 00:19:01,099 Hey! Hey! No cutsies. For Lily. 447 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,976 I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. 448 00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:06,605 I– I can't seem to turn this team into a winner. 449 00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:10,776 Why do you let it get you so stressed out? It's just football. 450 00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:13,946 You know what football was to me? Football was my salvation. 451 00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:15,572 Every time I stepped onto that field, 452 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:19,534 I wasn't the weird, gay outsider kid anymore. 453 00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:23,038 I inspired my entire team because I had something to prove. 454 00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:25,040 Where's my kid that has something to prove? 455 00:19:25,124 --> 00:19:26,333 Come on, Mom! ! Ay! 456 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:28,335 Stay on my hip! Follow my lead! Move! 457 00:19:28,419 --> 00:19:30,545 That's exactly what I need. 458 00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:36,176 Come on, Mom! Cake? 459 00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,469 Tell 'em the good news. 460 00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:39,471 I won the cake contest! 461 00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:39,471 The other good news. 462 00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:41,848 He made the football team. 463 00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:41,848 They won their first game. 464 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:44,435 And the guys love my banana bread. 465 00:19:45,728 --> 00:19:48,355 Keep your eyes closed, and before you open them, 466 00:19:48,439 --> 00:19:50,440 remember that for 20 years, 467 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:54,194 you have given me perfect, creative, thoughtful gifts, 468 00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:56,196 and every year, I have let you down. 469 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,365 You're about to feel really bad. 470 00:19:58,449 --> 00:20:02,202 And I know that because it's how I have felt every year. 471 00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:05,873 But, honey, it is not my intention, because I love you. 472 00:20:06,916 --> 00:20:10,377 - Happy anniversary. - Oh, my God. 473 00:20:10,461 --> 00:20:13,380 Chinese acrobats? 474 00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:17,342 Twenty years. China. You're brilliant. 475 00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:21,013 You got it! 476 00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:21,013 Hey, guys, you're my present! 477 00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:23,056 Oh! Oh, what's that? 478 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,975 Oh! 479 00:20:25,059 --> 00:20:26,685 That's the helicopter. I should get in there. 480 00:20:25,059 --> 00:20:26,685 No, no. 481 00:20:26,769 --> 00:20:29,021 They're– They're here for you. They're here for you. 482 00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:32,608 Oh. 483 00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:32,608 Honey. 484 00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:43,702 Don't worry. It was just a couple of beers. 485 00:20:43,786 --> 00:20:45,287 And if you cleaned it up– 486 00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:46,872 Okay, Haley, I love you too. Bye-bye. 487 00:20:46,956 --> 00:20:48,373 'Scuse me, ma'am. 488 00:20:48,457 --> 00:20:50,709 I hear you're a wanted woman. 489 00:20:50,793 --> 00:20:53,211 What you see can and will be held against you. 490 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,213 You're gonna have to arrest me first. 491 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:56,632 Bring me some wine. 492 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,054 Mr. P., I have a confession to make. 493 00:21:02,138 --> 00:21:04,723 I'm taking a much more interesting confession upstairs. 494 00:21:04,807 --> 00:21:06,224 After Joe went down, 495 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,852 I had a sip of beer by the pool and a bottle broke. 496 00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:10,145 It was me. I did it. 497 00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:11,855 Don't sweat it. I've popped a cold one... 498 00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:14,566 after dealing with those kids– sometimes during. 499 00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:17,319 Thanks, Mr. P. And hey– 500 00:21:17,403 --> 00:21:19,571 - Be careful up there. - We're not that close. 501 00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:21,157 Yeah.