1 00:00:02,346 --> 00:00:04,180 How the hell did they lose our reservation? 2 00:00:04,264 --> 00:00:07,392 Dad, you were married to Mom for 30 years. What's another couple nights on a couch? 3 00:00:07,476 --> 00:00:11,354 I'm gonna call for the cot, and I'm gonna try to squeeze 'em on that 9.95 Wi-Fi fee. 4 00:00:11,438 --> 00:00:13,022 They're selling air. 5 00:00:13,106 --> 00:00:17,694 ClosetCon is the premier North American trade show for the closet industry. 6 00:00:17,778 --> 00:00:21,781 I stopped going years ago 'cause it's a trade show for the closet industry. 7 00:00:21,865 --> 00:00:22,949 Thank you. 8 00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:24,826 This schedule is incredible. 9 00:00:24,910 --> 00:00:27,704 Dad, there's a 10:45 session on sustainable materials. 10 00:00:27,788 --> 00:00:29,706 We have got to hit that. 11 00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:33,001 Mmm, but it overlaps with the 11:00 a.m. Panel on paneling. 12 00:00:33,085 --> 00:00:35,879 And a breakout session on shoe storage. 13 00:00:35,963 --> 00:00:38,381 Little advice: The convention floor is for suckers. 14 00:00:38,465 --> 00:00:40,008 All work is done at the bar. 15 00:00:40,092 --> 00:00:41,718 Unless Tony G. and Layla are singing standards, 16 00:00:41,802 --> 00:00:44,429 in which case, no work– prepare to be entertained. 17 00:00:44,513 --> 00:00:47,140 Dad, I came here to learn, not sit in the bar and drink. 18 00:00:47,224 --> 00:00:49,059 You do what you want. I'm getting a scotch. 19 00:00:50,143 --> 00:00:52,312 Well, I do need to meet everybody. 20 00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:55,523 Ooh, good. Breakfast. 21 00:00:55,607 --> 00:00:57,275 Breakfast? Try lunch. 22 00:00:57,359 --> 00:00:59,569 We wake up early on the farm. 23 00:00:57,359 --> 00:00:59,569 Sure do. 24 00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:02,822 There's our sleepy city mouse. 25 00:01:02,906 --> 00:01:05,742 Let's get you all squared away here. Yeah, I got it. 26 00:01:05,826 --> 00:01:07,368 Down here. 27 00:01:05,826 --> 00:01:07,368 Down here? 28 00:01:07,452 --> 00:01:09,746 I forgot how much work there was to be done around here. 29 00:01:09,830 --> 00:01:11,497 I've been mendin' fence all mornin'. 30 00:01:13,583 --> 00:01:17,379 Missouri. Misery. Huh. 31 00:01:18,672 --> 00:01:21,049 What a pigsty, huh? 32 00:01:18,672 --> 00:01:21,049 Cute. 33 00:01:21,133 --> 00:01:24,302 Daddy went to town. He's gonna be there till supper, so I'm helpin' Mama slop the pigs. 34 00:01:24,386 --> 00:01:25,803 You wanna pitch in? 35 00:01:25,887 --> 00:01:29,599 I don't know. I just ate that bacon, so how's that gonna look? 36 00:01:29,683 --> 00:01:31,809 Wanna ring the dinner bell, lil bomber? 37 00:01:31,893 --> 00:01:34,687 That's actually really quaint. Is it one of those little triangles– 38 00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:37,441 Sooey! 39 00:01:37,941 --> 00:01:39,484 Hoo! 40 00:01:42,195 --> 00:01:45,698 - Loudest call in the tri-county area. 41 00:01:45,782 --> 00:01:48,284 Do it again! 42 00:01:45,782 --> 00:01:48,284 No, sweetheart. I think once was enough. 43 00:01:48,368 --> 00:01:52,413 Sooey! 44 00:01:52,497 --> 00:01:55,792 Wow! There's actually an animal that runs toward that sound, huh? 45 00:02:10,057 --> 00:02:11,849 Hey! 46 00:02:10,057 --> 00:02:11,849 Hello, hello! 47 00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,394 - Did you make the reservation? - Yeah, 7:00. 48 00:02:16,396 --> 00:02:20,316 Fun family time with this little newsie and a steak dinner? 49 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,152 Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun? 50 00:02:23,236 --> 00:02:24,988 No one. No one says that. 51 00:02:25,072 --> 00:02:28,408 I am telling you. The way he looked at me when I came to the door, it is so on. 52 00:02:28,492 --> 00:02:31,202 Kind of seemed like he was just delivering pizza, and you were giving him money. 53 00:02:31,286 --> 00:02:32,412 What are you guys talking about? 54 00:02:32,496 --> 00:02:34,038 Chuck, the pizza guy from last night. 55 00:02:34,122 --> 00:02:36,874 He's shy and thoughtful and wears a Princeton sweatshirt. 56 00:02:36,958 --> 00:02:39,669 Hardly Haley's type. 57 00:02:36,958 --> 00:02:39,669 Oh, my God. You love him. 58 00:02:39,753 --> 00:02:43,381 What? No, I– How would you say I love him? He's been to our house exactly three times. 59 00:02:43,465 --> 00:02:46,384 That's ridiculous, Haley. Don't even look at me. This is so stupid. 60 00:02:46,468 --> 00:02:48,094 She loves him. 61 00:02:48,178 --> 00:02:50,346 Hey, Manimal. How was picture day? 62 00:02:50,430 --> 00:02:53,433 You know what's super helpful? When the guy in line behind you calls you Mt. Sweatmore. 63 00:02:53,517 --> 00:02:55,810 I was trying to relax you. 64 00:02:53,517 --> 00:02:55,810 Hey. 65 00:02:55,894 --> 00:02:57,729 It was right in front of you– Brad Pit Stains. 66 00:02:57,813 --> 00:02:59,689 Come on, Luke. 67 00:02:57,813 --> 00:02:59,689 It's okay. 68 00:02:59,773 --> 00:03:01,482 Whoa. New security system? 69 00:03:01,566 --> 00:03:04,694 You can see the backyard, the front door, the garage– everywhere. 70 00:03:04,778 --> 00:03:06,404 Yeah. Can't take any chances... 71 00:03:06,488 --> 00:03:09,365 since Mom gave birth to the Hope Diamond over there. 72 00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:15,330 There is a room off the kitchen at Jay's house that's always locked. 73 00:03:15,414 --> 00:03:16,998 I try it every time I'm there. 74 00:03:17,082 --> 00:03:22,211 I've spent countless hours imagining that that room is a house of treasure, 75 00:03:22,295 --> 00:03:25,256 a palace of ceaseless wonder. 76 00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:27,384 It's real. 77 00:03:28,718 --> 00:03:30,220 Hello, old friend. 78 00:03:31,263 --> 00:03:33,806 Would you look at that? 79 00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:37,435 What? That's coconuts! 80 00:03:37,519 --> 00:03:40,063 No! 81 00:03:40,147 --> 00:03:43,900 - Whoa. Is that– - A replica of Apollo 13. 82 00:03:43,984 --> 00:03:45,735 Look at the detail. 83 00:03:45,819 --> 00:03:48,988 You can almost see the astronauts drinking teeny-tiny Tang. 84 00:03:49,072 --> 00:03:50,114 Can I hold it? 85 00:03:49,072 --> 00:03:50,114 No. 86 00:03:50,198 --> 00:03:51,949 You have any idea how valuable this is? 87 00:03:52,033 --> 00:03:53,534 And your fingers are covered in cheese dust. 88 00:03:53,618 --> 00:03:55,244 There. 89 00:03:55,328 --> 00:03:56,829 - No! Luke, wait! - Hey guys, knock it off. 90 00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:58,956 Whoa-ho! 91 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,750 Don't worry, Gloria. I got it. 92 00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:03,503 Dios mío. 93 00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:03,503 Nobody panic! 94 00:04:03,587 --> 00:04:05,671 This is a collector's edition. It's 40 years old! 95 00:04:05,755 --> 00:04:09,759 We're gonna have to improvise. Gloria, call the steak house and cancel. 96 00:04:09,843 --> 00:04:14,263 Um– Manny, find some glue. Luke, let's get these parts into the garage. 97 00:04:14,347 --> 00:04:16,808 I know this seems impossible, but we can do this! 98 00:04:16,892 --> 00:04:20,145 Hello, Houston's? We have a situation. 99 00:04:21,146 --> 00:04:23,064 Hi. We're with ClosetCon. All access. 100 00:04:23,148 --> 00:04:25,108 She doesn't care. You're the only dope wearing that here. 101 00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:27,735 Give it to me. 102 00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:27,735 No. I like it. 103 00:04:27,819 --> 00:04:30,613 Hey, Joel! Looking good, my friend. 104 00:04:30,697 --> 00:04:33,199 Took a bath on automated closets. People aren't ready for that. 105 00:04:33,283 --> 00:04:36,452 Jay Pritchett! Get your cute butt over here. 106 00:04:36,536 --> 00:04:38,079 Who's that? 107 00:04:36,536 --> 00:04:38,079 An old friend. 108 00:04:38,163 --> 00:04:40,373 I'm gonna go say hello. Why don't you get us a couple drinks? 109 00:04:40,457 --> 00:04:42,167 Yeah. I'll do that. 110 00:04:43,627 --> 00:04:47,880 Hi. Can I get a scotch and a white wine? Wow. Rowdy crowd, huh? 111 00:04:47,964 --> 00:04:50,299 Trade shows. People get away from their families, get a little liquored up. 112 00:04:50,383 --> 00:04:52,176 - Yeah, I get that. - Let's just say... 113 00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:54,137 when the name tags go on, the wedding rings come off. 114 00:04:54,221 --> 00:04:56,639 I am not so on board with that. 115 00:04:56,723 --> 00:04:59,809 Hey there. 116 00:04:56,723 --> 00:04:59,809 Classy. 117 00:04:59,893 --> 00:05:02,562 Oh, you look so good! 118 00:05:05,815 --> 00:05:08,943 My mom was pretty self-involved, and my dad traveled a lot for work. 119 00:05:09,027 --> 00:05:12,447 So yeah, I did wonder if– You know? 120 00:05:12,531 --> 00:05:14,657 Not that I could blame him. 121 00:05:14,741 --> 00:05:17,994 My friend Alison's mom greeted her every day after school... 122 00:05:18,078 --> 00:05:19,871 with a big hug and a giant smile. 123 00:05:19,955 --> 00:05:24,000 And I always thought, "Yeah. Wouldn't mind a piece of that." 124 00:05:24,084 --> 00:05:27,503 So are we doing this? I'll bring it to your room this afternoon. 125 00:05:27,587 --> 00:05:31,674 We have a little tradition at ClosetCon for rookies, which Claire is this year. 126 00:05:31,758 --> 00:05:34,969 We take a skeleton. We hide it in their closet. 127 00:05:35,053 --> 00:05:38,806 They open the door and scream, and we all have a good laugh. 128 00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:40,349 Can't take full credit for the idea. 129 00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:42,393 We stole it from CabinetCon. 130 00:05:42,477 --> 00:05:44,187 Hot cider! 131 00:05:44,271 --> 00:05:46,814 Oh, yes! Thank you, Barb. Thank you so much. 132 00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:49,275 It's chilly. 133 00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:49,275 Mmm. Wow, that's got a kick. 134 00:05:49,359 --> 00:05:50,776 That'd be the rum. 135 00:05:49,359 --> 00:05:50,776 Ah. 136 00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:53,029 I can feel it warming up your belly. 137 00:05:53,113 --> 00:05:54,614 Eh, still in my mouth and throat. 138 00:05:54,698 --> 00:05:57,492 - Well, what's that? - Boy, it's starting to get nippy, huh? 139 00:05:57,576 --> 00:05:59,118 You guys wanna walk down to the duck pond? 140 00:05:59,202 --> 00:06:01,120 That sounds lovely. I'll get the gun. 141 00:06:01,204 --> 00:06:02,872 Are y'all comin'? 142 00:06:02,956 --> 00:06:06,542 - Y'all? We don't say "y'all." - Yeah, we do. 143 00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:09,086 Well, yeah, we say it here, but not normally. 144 00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:11,088 Well, did you ever think this is how I really talk, 145 00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:13,466 and that I talk "different-like" when I'm not here? 146 00:06:13,550 --> 00:06:15,218 - Y'all fightin'? - No, no, sweetie. 147 00:06:15,302 --> 00:06:18,054 We're just having a conversation about how your daddy can be so stuck up. 148 00:06:18,138 --> 00:06:21,265 Cam, that's really mature: use our daughter to get your little digs in. 149 00:06:21,349 --> 00:06:22,892 I would never do that, sweetie. 150 00:06:22,976 --> 00:06:25,561 You don't think I notice how condescending you are when we come here? 151 00:06:25,645 --> 00:06:28,648 You just set on the porch, you roll your eyes, don't participate in anything. 152 00:06:28,732 --> 00:06:31,275 And yeah, I said "set." But that's how we talk here. 153 00:06:31,359 --> 00:06:33,110 I'm from this place. I'm proud of this place. 154 00:06:33,194 --> 00:06:36,030 And it hurts me that the man I love just thinks it's some big joke. 155 00:06:36,114 --> 00:06:37,907 Come on, sweetie. 156 00:06:37,991 --> 00:06:40,035 Lord-a-mercy. 157 00:06:44,039 --> 00:06:46,499 I'm starving. What are we gonna do about dinner? 158 00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:49,126 I checked with Dad, and I ordered a couple pizzas from Theo's. 159 00:06:49,210 --> 00:06:51,420 I knew it! You're stalking my pizza guy! 160 00:06:51,504 --> 00:06:53,005 He is not into you, okay? 161 00:06:53,089 --> 00:06:55,591 Does he call you Brown Eyes and give you extra mozzarella sticks? 162 00:06:55,675 --> 00:07:00,096 Okay. That's it, you two. You cannot fight over men like it's jewelry or shoes. 163 00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:02,598 If you're both interested, no one makes a move. 164 00:07:02,682 --> 00:07:04,768 Sisters before misters! 165 00:07:07,187 --> 00:07:08,437 - Stalker! - Trollop. 166 00:07:08,521 --> 00:07:10,147 Ha, ha. Don't know what it means. 167 00:07:10,231 --> 00:07:12,275 Ow! What did you do? 168 00:07:12,359 --> 00:07:14,068 - Nothing! - Yes, you did! 169 00:07:14,152 --> 00:07:15,987 You turned it on, and now the propeller's all tangled up. 170 00:07:16,071 --> 00:07:18,072 - Why would I do that? - 'Cause my pizza guy is coming, 171 00:07:18,156 --> 00:07:19,615 and now I have airplane in my hair! 172 00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:21,534 I swear I didn't, Haley. Okay. I'll get it out. 173 00:07:21,618 --> 00:07:22,952 Oh, my God. Ow! 174 00:07:23,036 --> 00:07:24,704 - What is happening? - I don't know! 175 00:07:24,788 --> 00:07:29,458 - Oh! You find a little toy? 176 00:07:29,542 --> 00:07:32,545 Hey. Was that Aunt Marge just tearin' down the driveway? 177 00:07:32,629 --> 00:07:35,089 Yes, and she dropped off a little present. 178 00:07:35,173 --> 00:07:38,009 Is that my Cam-Cam? 179 00:07:38,093 --> 00:07:40,261 - Gram-Gram! - Oh, you. 180 00:07:40,345 --> 00:07:43,931 There have been some storm warnings, so Marge thought she'd be safer over here. 181 00:07:44,015 --> 00:07:47,643 But she dropped her off so fast that we didn't even have a chance to straighten up. 182 00:07:47,727 --> 00:07:48,728 Oh. 183 00:07:48,812 --> 00:07:50,313 We never told Gram about the gay. 184 00:07:50,397 --> 00:07:51,856 You know, after they reach a certain age, 185 00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:54,275 you worry that it could be the thing that sends 'em over the edge. 186 00:07:54,359 --> 00:07:56,819 And she's been on the edge for a long time. 187 00:07:56,903 --> 00:07:58,988 We're actually on deathbed number two. 188 00:07:59,072 --> 00:08:00,865 Mitchell! Mitchell. 189 00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:02,074 Okay. What-What's this? 190 00:08:02,158 --> 00:08:05,161 This is me ready to slop, bale or milk somethin'. 191 00:08:05,245 --> 00:08:07,705 You don't need to do that. 192 00:08:05,245 --> 00:08:07,705 No, I– Cam, I know. I know. 193 00:08:07,789 --> 00:08:10,958 I gave you hell for being who you really are, and I wanna make that up to you. 194 00:08:11,042 --> 00:08:14,253 But you know what? Putting on my sister's Sunday overalls is gesture enough. 195 00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:16,088 What's this? 196 00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:16,088 Oh, it's my chewin' straw. 197 00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:18,132 It's not straw. 198 00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:18,132 Oh, it's just show. 199 00:08:18,216 --> 00:08:19,383 For show! 200 00:08:18,216 --> 00:08:19,383 Wait. Come on. 201 00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:21,344 You love the man, you love the world he comes from. 202 00:08:21,428 --> 00:08:23,971 But you know what– 203 00:08:21,428 --> 00:08:23,971 I don't know if it's these farmin' clothes or what, 204 00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:27,350 but I am feeling so close to you right now. 205 00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:27,350 That's so sweet. 206 00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:29,226 Gimme a kiss. 207 00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:29,226 No, not right now. 208 00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:30,895 Well, don't make me wrassle you down. 209 00:08:30,979 --> 00:08:32,188 Stop. 210 00:08:32,939 --> 00:08:34,690 Who's this? 211 00:08:32,939 --> 00:08:34,690 Oh, dear. 212 00:08:34,774 --> 00:08:39,028 Uh– Well, Grams, this is Bud, our new farmhand. 213 00:08:39,112 --> 00:08:40,613 Bud? 214 00:08:39,112 --> 00:08:40,613 Yeah. 215 00:08:40,697 --> 00:08:43,783 Bud's a little simpleminded on account of gettin' mule kicked. 216 00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:46,118 "Idn't" he? And you know the rules on bein' in the house, Bud. 217 00:08:46,202 --> 00:08:49,955 Now go on outside. We're gonna milk the cows in a few minutes. 218 00:08:50,039 --> 00:08:52,709 Get on out there. Have a treat afterwards. 219 00:08:54,919 --> 00:08:56,879 - Here's what we've got to work with. - Nicely done. 220 00:08:56,963 --> 00:08:58,422 I've got Florida on the line. 221 00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:00,716 Dad, I'm flying you in. You're the model expert. 222 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,678 What are we looking at, Son? 223 00:09:03,762 --> 00:09:07,556 Holy Moses. More like Apollo 1300 pieces! 224 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,310 Oof. In space, I guess no one can hear you be hilarious. 225 00:09:11,394 --> 00:09:13,229 - I need you to focus. - If Jay sees this– 226 00:09:13,313 --> 00:09:16,065 I know. Dad, you got three good men here depending on you. 227 00:09:16,149 --> 00:09:17,858 Say no more. I'm gonna tap a button now... 228 00:09:17,942 --> 00:09:20,028 that's either gonna make you larger on my screen or– 229 00:09:22,197 --> 00:09:23,739 We've lost Florida. 230 00:09:23,823 --> 00:09:25,908 Yeah. Bring the skeleton up now. I just got to the room. 231 00:09:25,992 --> 00:09:27,576 Hey, Dad. 232 00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:30,830 Hey, honey. I thought we were meeting at the restaurant. 233 00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:35,418 Well, the lecture got done a little early, and I was kind of the star of the evening. 234 00:09:35,502 --> 00:09:40,589 I got a huge laugh when I coined the phrase "shelf-esteem." Huh? 235 00:09:40,673 --> 00:09:42,800 Yeah? Okay, I'll text it to Phil. 236 00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:45,219 Why don't you go down to the lobby? You'll get a stronger signal. 237 00:09:45,303 --> 00:09:46,512 Oh. Hello. 238 00:09:45,303 --> 00:09:46,512 Rita. 239 00:09:46,596 --> 00:09:48,264 This is my daughter, Claire. 240 00:09:46,596 --> 00:09:48,264 Hi. 241 00:09:48,348 --> 00:09:51,225 Claire, this is Rita. 242 00:09:48,348 --> 00:09:51,225 Your dad and I go way back. 243 00:09:51,309 --> 00:09:55,646 First time we met, I told him he needed a course in hanger management. 244 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:57,648 It's still funny. 245 00:09:57,732 --> 00:09:59,108 Seriously? 246 00:09:59,192 --> 00:10:01,485 Her husband's in the garment business. He made me a suit. 247 00:10:01,569 --> 00:10:04,530 I make the closets, and he fills 'em. 248 00:10:01,569 --> 00:10:04,530 Match made in heaven. 249 00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:06,532 Honey, they're kind of sticklers at that restaurant. 250 00:10:06,616 --> 00:10:08,951 Why don't you grab our table? I'll put this in the room. 251 00:10:09,035 --> 00:10:10,953 Uh, okay. Will do. 252 00:10:11,037 --> 00:10:14,331 Um, really nice to meet you. See you downstairs. 253 00:10:14,415 --> 00:10:18,503 I actually am gonna take the stairs. That elevator's slow. 254 00:10:20,046 --> 00:10:23,174 Hey, was it just me, or was she lookin' at me weird? 255 00:10:23,258 --> 00:10:26,510 I did kind of sense that. 256 00:10:23,258 --> 00:10:26,510 You don't think she knows about our deal? 257 00:10:26,594 --> 00:10:28,220 How could she? It was 20 years ago. 258 00:10:28,304 --> 00:10:30,598 And I never told anyone. 259 00:10:35,061 --> 00:10:36,562 Would she even care? 260 00:10:36,646 --> 00:10:39,273 That I tried to get rid of the man she ended up marrying? 261 00:10:39,357 --> 00:10:41,400 Well, it's not like you took a hit out on him. 262 00:10:41,484 --> 00:10:44,195 You had me offer him a job in the greatest state in the union. 263 00:10:44,279 --> 00:10:45,321 Okay, Tex. 264 00:10:47,657 --> 00:10:50,701 If I never said anything, how could she know? 265 00:10:50,785 --> 00:10:54,330 You're not the first one I approached. You're just the first one who said yes. 266 00:10:59,669 --> 00:11:01,337 I'm done. I am done. 267 00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:03,422 Come on. Please. Just be Bud. For a couple days. 268 00:11:03,506 --> 00:11:06,675 You can do some chores. Maybe I can berate you a bit to really sell it. 269 00:11:06,759 --> 00:11:09,428 Do you hear how insane you sound? Chores? 270 00:11:09,512 --> 00:11:12,556 You know what? Deal with your grandmother however you want. 271 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,934 Lily and I will just go get a hotel room. 272 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,934 No, you can't. 273 00:11:15,018 --> 00:11:16,894 Fine. Motel. Silo. Whatever you got around here. 274 00:11:16,978 --> 00:11:20,105 No, that alarm means there's a tornado coming right now. 275 00:11:20,189 --> 00:11:23,067 God. Well, where's Lily? I hope she's not still out in the field. 276 00:11:23,151 --> 00:11:24,819 Lily! 277 00:11:24,903 --> 00:11:29,698 You can't just call her like a pig. Lily! 278 00:11:29,782 --> 00:11:32,034 This is just a farm thing, not, like, a mall thing. 279 00:11:32,118 --> 00:11:34,954 What's that, city voice? Mmm? 280 00:11:32,118 --> 00:11:34,954 Just go. 281 00:11:37,999 --> 00:11:40,209 This is really in there good. 282 00:11:40,293 --> 00:11:42,461 Get her off of me! I'm getting dumb through osmosis. 283 00:11:42,545 --> 00:11:44,880 - I don't have osmosis. 284 00:11:44,964 --> 00:11:47,091 Oh, great. Chuck's here with the pizza. 285 00:11:47,175 --> 00:11:49,176 Gloria, can you please get it? 286 00:11:47,175 --> 00:11:49,176 No. 287 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:52,054 You two be nice to each other and figure it out. 288 00:11:52,138 --> 00:11:54,098 Ow! Ow! 289 00:11:55,475 --> 00:11:58,102 Oh, hey, Chuck. I didn't think you'd be working tonight. 290 00:11:58,186 --> 00:12:00,646 - Hey. What are you doing here? - Oh, this is my grandfather's house. 291 00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:02,565 There's a pool. Do you swim? You look like you swim. 292 00:12:03,733 --> 00:12:06,944 I do. 293 00:12:03,733 --> 00:12:06,944 Oh, thanks. 294 00:12:07,028 --> 00:12:08,737 - Oh. 295 00:12:08,821 --> 00:12:10,614 - You okay? - Oh, yeah. Totally. 296 00:12:10,698 --> 00:12:12,325 Just a cramp. I work out. One second. 297 00:12:13,993 --> 00:12:15,828 You little– 298 00:12:13,993 --> 00:12:15,828 Dude. Shut up. 299 00:12:17,205 --> 00:12:20,249 - Hey, you! - Hey, Brown Eyes. 300 00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:21,792 Ow! - Uh– 301 00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:25,254 - Here. All right. - Okay, cool. Thanks. Bye! 302 00:12:26,923 --> 00:12:29,800 Bye! 303 00:12:26,923 --> 00:12:29,800 No! Shut the door! 304 00:12:29,884 --> 00:12:31,510 Don't be nervous, honey. 305 00:12:31,594 --> 00:12:33,095 There's nothing to be scared of. 306 00:12:33,179 --> 00:12:36,140 Take it easy, Mama. Don't break a hip. 307 00:12:33,179 --> 00:12:36,140 I am telling you. 308 00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:39,101 I am not pretending to be something I'm not, especially in front of our daughter. 309 00:12:39,185 --> 00:12:42,313 Oh, so I can't kiss you in front of your dad for six years? 310 00:12:42,397 --> 00:12:46,859 And you can't give me two days? We're saving an old lady some unnecessary upset. 311 00:12:46,943 --> 00:12:50,279 Why don't you give her a little credit? She might be more open-minded than you think. 312 00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:53,699 Well, you're a cute little Chinese thing. 313 00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:57,536 Actually, Grams, she's, uh, from Vietnam. 314 00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:59,538 And her name's Lily. 315 00:12:59,622 --> 00:13:01,916 Dad, how long do I have to stay down here? 316 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,001 Dad? 317 00:13:04,252 --> 00:13:06,211 Okay. Well, I guess there's no way around this. 318 00:13:06,295 --> 00:13:09,548 Actually, ma'am, she's my kin. 319 00:13:09,632 --> 00:13:12,384 So you got a Chinese wife, Bud? 320 00:13:12,468 --> 00:13:16,597 No, I-I went to Vietnam, and I did myself some adoptin'. 321 00:13:16,681 --> 00:13:21,018 And now I'm raisin' her, all by my lonesome. 322 00:13:21,102 --> 00:13:24,480 Well, I never thought I'd live long enough to see that! 323 00:13:24,564 --> 00:13:26,315 None of us did. 324 00:13:26,399 --> 00:13:31,403 But I guess there's nothing more important than family, no matter how they come. 325 00:13:31,487 --> 00:13:33,697 Well, that is mighty open-minded of you. 326 00:13:33,781 --> 00:13:35,282 Some folks 'round these parts... 327 00:13:35,366 --> 00:13:38,994 don't share that progressive– I say, progressive– sensibility. 328 00:13:39,078 --> 00:13:40,579 To each his own. 329 00:13:40,663 --> 00:13:46,002 But I do wish I had another little one like that to spoil. 330 00:13:48,171 --> 00:13:50,589 What if I told you you did have a great-grandbaby? 331 00:13:50,673 --> 00:13:52,591 What? 332 00:13:50,673 --> 00:13:52,591 Cam. 333 00:13:52,675 --> 00:13:54,551 It's okay, Mama. 334 00:13:54,635 --> 00:13:57,346 What if I told you I was in love, 335 00:13:57,430 --> 00:14:00,849 and that I've never been happier in my entire life, 336 00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:02,601 and that I'm about to get married? 337 00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:05,354 I can't think of anything better! 338 00:14:05,438 --> 00:14:08,524 And what if I told you the love of my life... 339 00:14:08,608 --> 00:14:11,527 is this man standing right here? 340 00:14:11,611 --> 00:14:14,530 Then I'd know why God sent us this tornado. 341 00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:18,450 After the initial shock, Grams softened a bit. 342 00:14:18,534 --> 00:14:20,202 She even agreed to attend the wedding. 343 00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:21,870 Standing outside with a sign. 344 00:14:21,954 --> 00:14:24,707 Baby steps, Mitchell. Baby steps. 345 00:14:24,791 --> 00:14:29,044 And... our antenna is... 346 00:14:29,128 --> 00:14:30,129 reattached! 347 00:14:30,213 --> 00:14:31,630 Yes! Ha! 348 00:14:31,714 --> 00:14:33,215 Oh, this is useless. 349 00:14:33,299 --> 00:14:35,718 Hey! I don't wanna hear talk like that. 350 00:14:35,802 --> 00:14:38,387 If you want inspiration, think about Apollo 13. 351 00:14:38,471 --> 00:14:40,597 Jay didn't give up when he first put together this model. 352 00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:42,391 It was hard and complicated, 353 00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:45,936 and back then the print on the instructions was tiny, but he persevered. 354 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:48,605 Also, the astronauts on the actual Apollo 13 didn't give up... 355 00:14:48,689 --> 00:14:50,441 when their actual lives were in danger. 356 00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:53,736 Them too, but they had a lot of other people helping them out. We're on our own here. 357 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:56,905 Okay, I figured out what we need to reattach that damn landing module. 358 00:14:56,989 --> 00:15:02,077 Glue won't work. We need a very thin filament, thinner than thread. 359 00:15:02,161 --> 00:15:03,996 I know what would work. 360 00:15:05,331 --> 00:15:06,957 Well, I need to go check on something. 361 00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,752 I told my date I'd be back in a jiff. 362 00:15:09,836 --> 00:15:11,170 Back in a jiff. 363 00:15:11,254 --> 00:15:13,422 Nothing to do but wait. 364 00:15:13,506 --> 00:15:15,799 Why are we making ourselves crazy, Phil? 365 00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:18,844 I don't know. I just hate disappointing Jay so much. 366 00:15:18,928 --> 00:15:20,637 He is not an easy guy to please. 367 00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:24,266 I know. But when you do, it's pretty sweet, ain't it? 368 00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:24,266 Sure is. 369 00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,853 You're lucky to have a dad like that. 370 00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:30,189 Hard not to be hurt by that, Son. 371 00:15:31,691 --> 00:15:33,942 How have I never noticed how loud you breathe? 372 00:15:34,026 --> 00:15:36,862 Aw, don't beat yourself up. That'd require you to notice something that isn't about you. 373 00:15:36,946 --> 00:15:38,363 Oh, my God. You are such a loser! 374 00:15:38,447 --> 00:15:41,867 Okay! That's it! I cannot listen to this anymore! 375 00:15:41,951 --> 00:15:44,536 I'm going to cut you two out of that plane. 376 00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,455 - Too late! 377 00:15:46,539 --> 00:15:48,707 - Okay, okay! Just cut mine. - Yeah, cut hers. 378 00:15:48,791 --> 00:15:52,294 - Wait, why? - No one cares what I look like anyway. 379 00:15:52,378 --> 00:15:54,838 - You don't really think that. - Yeah, well, kind of. 380 00:15:54,922 --> 00:15:57,007 You didn't see the way that Chuck was looking at you? 381 00:15:57,091 --> 00:15:59,676 Wait. You actually think I'm a threat? 382 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,970 I'm not gonna say that out loud. 383 00:16:02,054 --> 00:16:03,972 Aw, that's so sweet. 384 00:16:04,056 --> 00:16:07,392 Well, if I ever had a boyfriend, I wouldn't trust him with you for five seconds. 385 00:16:07,476 --> 00:16:09,144 Aw! 386 00:16:09,228 --> 00:16:11,814 Okay, let's finish this job– 387 00:16:09,228 --> 00:16:11,814 Gloria, no! 388 00:16:11,898 --> 00:16:13,232 Wait! 389 00:16:11,898 --> 00:16:13,232 There you go. 390 00:16:13,316 --> 00:16:15,359 That's it. That was easy. 391 00:16:15,443 --> 00:16:17,319 Why did you wait an hour to do this? 392 00:16:17,403 --> 00:16:19,279 Why did you wait 15 years to do that? 393 00:16:19,363 --> 00:16:22,074 At least this way, nothing bad happened to anyone's pretty hair. 394 00:16:22,158 --> 00:16:24,076 ! Ay! 395 00:16:28,623 --> 00:16:31,166 Oh, honey. I didn't hear you come in. 396 00:16:28,623 --> 00:16:31,166 Mmm. 397 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:32,918 How was the rest of your night? 398 00:16:33,002 --> 00:16:37,297 Let's see. After you bailed on me, Mark from Closetopia yakked my ear off... 399 00:16:37,381 --> 00:16:41,343 and then told me I looked like Heidi Klum, which is such an obvious come-on. 400 00:16:41,427 --> 00:16:44,263 - Mark's gay. - Well, in that case, my night stank. 401 00:16:44,347 --> 00:16:46,181 And I didn't bail. I know a lot of people here. 402 00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:48,058 - They pulled me away. - Hmm. 403 00:16:48,142 --> 00:16:50,686 Hey, these robes are terrific. You know, there's one for you in the closet. 404 00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:52,938 - You oughta put it on. - I don't want a robe. 405 00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:55,190 Dad, were you avoiding me tonight? 406 00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:56,692 Why would I avoid you? 407 00:16:56,776 --> 00:16:59,862 Trust me. Soft, like butter. Right in there. 408 00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:01,530 Don't make me ask. 409 00:17:01,614 --> 00:17:03,198 What are you talking about? 410 00:17:03,282 --> 00:17:07,202 You and Rita, 20 years ago. It's okay, I know. 411 00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:10,247 - Aw, geez. - I get it. Things happen. 412 00:17:10,331 --> 00:17:12,124 - Really? - It was a long time ago. 413 00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:15,544 Well, I appreciate it. I just wanna say, I'm not proud of it. 414 00:17:15,628 --> 00:17:18,755 If I had known him then like I know him now, 415 00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:21,300 I never would've tried to get rid of Phil. Good night. 416 00:17:26,138 --> 00:17:28,223 Get rid of Phil? What are you talking about? 417 00:17:28,307 --> 00:17:30,726 - What are you talking about? - You and Rita had an affair. 418 00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:34,355 No, we didn't. That's crazy! Well, okay. Good night. 419 00:17:35,982 --> 00:17:38,233 - Get rid of Phil– What does that even mean? - Doesn't mean anything. 420 00:17:38,317 --> 00:17:40,736 You had just started dating. You know I was never hot on the guy. 421 00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:43,238 I told Rita to offer him a sales job in Texas. 422 00:17:43,322 --> 00:17:46,408 I remember that, but that wasn't when we were dating. We were engaged. 423 00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:48,994 Doesn't matter. Phil didn't take the job anyway. 424 00:17:49,078 --> 00:17:51,705 If anything, my little test proved how much he loved you. 425 00:17:51,789 --> 00:17:53,332 You're welcome. We'll talk in the morning. 426 00:17:53,416 --> 00:17:54,833 How dare you? "You're welcome." Please! 427 00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:56,668 I can't even be in the same room with you. 428 00:17:56,752 --> 00:17:58,128 - Where is my coat? - Uh, Claire? 429 00:17:58,212 --> 00:17:59,671 Oh, unbelievable. 430 00:17:59,755 --> 00:18:02,257 "I don't like my son-in-law, so I'm gonna ship him off to Texas." 431 00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:04,760 - Real mature way to deal with your problems, Dad. - I get that point. 432 00:18:04,844 --> 00:18:07,429 Yeah, real mature. 433 00:18:07,513 --> 00:18:09,014 That's real mature too. 434 00:18:09,098 --> 00:18:10,849 That's tradition. It's the skeleton– 435 00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:12,935 In the closet! Oh, I get it. 436 00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:14,436 I'm really sorry. 437 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,230 But before you go storming out of here, 438 00:18:16,314 --> 00:18:20,651 you wanna talk about a certain phone call I got from Immigration a few years ago? 439 00:18:20,735 --> 00:18:24,613 I'd just started dating Gloria. They were acting on an anonymous tip? 440 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:29,701 It's very late. 441 00:18:29,785 --> 00:18:31,954 We have a very big day tomorrow. 442 00:18:32,038 --> 00:18:35,207 You know, Claire, I've really come to like Phil. 443 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:36,833 I know. 444 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:40,671 And the irony is, he would really love that skeleton gag. 445 00:18:40,755 --> 00:18:43,131 Try it out on him. You gotta take care of that thing till next year. 446 00:18:43,215 --> 00:18:44,549 Oh, God. 447 00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:45,968 Before you turn that out, 448 00:18:46,052 --> 00:18:47,761 have we talked about everything we need to? 449 00:18:47,845 --> 00:18:50,472 'Cause I want everything out in the clear here. 450 00:18:50,556 --> 00:18:53,809 - Yeah. We have. - Good night. 451 00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:06,613 I did make out with Rita once, about 15 years ago. Good night. 452 00:19:08,991 --> 00:19:10,909 Okay. 453 00:19:10,993 --> 00:19:16,915 All that's left... is to reattach the lander to the command module. 454 00:19:16,999 --> 00:19:18,625 We got one shot at this, fellas. 455 00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:21,336 If we fail, Jay's gonna burn up on reentry into this house. Am I right? 456 00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:24,756 - Ha! Hole in one, Son. - Thanks, Dad. 457 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,760 Boys, if this thing goes sideways, I don't want you to be here to see it. So go on. 458 00:19:28,844 --> 00:19:31,263 But, Dad– 459 00:19:28,844 --> 00:19:31,263 No, you listen to me! 460 00:19:40,940 --> 00:19:42,650 Okay, Phil. 461 00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:45,193 Okay, Philip. 462 00:19:45,277 --> 00:19:46,695 Steady. 463 00:19:47,488 --> 00:19:48,697 He's locked in. 464 00:19:53,619 --> 00:19:54,870 Not now, nerves. 465 00:19:58,541 --> 00:20:01,043 Hold. Hold. 466 00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:04,046 Be a hero. Bring her home. 467 00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:07,133 I guess I'll call a cab. So long, Jeanine. 468 00:20:10,302 --> 00:20:12,054 Is it? Is– 469 00:20:13,722 --> 00:20:15,766 It is! Splashdown! 470 00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,142 Whoo! 471 00:20:17,226 --> 00:20:20,937 ! Ay, sí, gracias! 472 00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:23,565 Son of a bitch did it. 473 00:20:23,649 --> 00:20:26,360 Oh, yeah! 474 00:20:28,779 --> 00:20:31,656 Yeah! Gloria, get in here! 475 00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:34,117 There we go! 476 00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:34,117 Dad, you did it! 477 00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:35,869 Yes, I did! I love it! 478 00:20:35,953 --> 00:20:39,664 I love it! I love it! 479 00:20:39,748 --> 00:20:41,667 Oh, my God. 480 00:20:48,632 --> 00:20:50,884 Phil, honey! Come to bed! 481 00:20:50,968 --> 00:20:53,512 This robe feels like butter. 482 00:20:57,183 --> 00:21:00,435 Yeah! I missed this, honey. 483 00:21:00,519 --> 00:21:03,105 That yoga's really paying off! 484 00:21:03,189 --> 00:21:05,232 Hey, whoa, slow down, baby. 485 00:21:05,316 --> 00:21:07,526 You can't gun a cold engine. 486 00:21:08,819 --> 00:21:11,446 But if you're– Then who's– 487 00:21:11,530 --> 00:21:13,782 - When did you know? - When it didn't complain about my socks. 488 00:21:13,866 --> 00:21:15,951 You checked the closet, didn't you? 489 00:21:16,035 --> 00:21:17,828 Every night before bed. 490 00:21:17,912 --> 00:21:19,538 I really don't understand that. It's so silly. 491 00:21:19,622 --> 00:21:21,540 I mean, if somebody really wanted to kill you, 492 00:21:21,624 --> 00:21:23,959 obviously they'd just hide under the bed. 493 00:21:24,043 --> 00:21:25,961 Good night. 494 00:21:26,045 --> 00:21:27,588 Damn it.