1 00:00:01,965 --> 00:00:03,883 Okay, everybody, cake time. 2 00:00:03,967 --> 00:00:05,593 Thank God. I really have to study. 3 00:00:05,677 --> 00:00:08,429 Oh, sweetheart, can't you just take a minute to enjoy it? It's your birthday. 4 00:00:08,513 --> 00:00:09,973 You put too much pressure on yourself. 5 00:00:10,057 --> 00:00:12,850 I remember my sweet 16. I wanted a theme party. 6 00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:14,894 Moonstruck had just come out, but I hadn't, so– 7 00:00:14,978 --> 00:00:17,397 No stories. No time. S.A.T.'s. 8 00:00:17,481 --> 00:00:19,107 Here we go, everybody. 9 00:00:19,191 --> 00:00:20,233 Wait, wait. 10 00:00:20,317 --> 00:00:22,068 We all know why we're here. 11 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,987 Ay, honey, you missed one– 12 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,987 I know! 13 00:00:24,071 --> 00:00:27,240 I know I missed one! I'm not an idiot! 14 00:00:24,071 --> 00:00:27,240 Whoa. 15 00:00:27,324 --> 00:00:28,658 There! Happy? 16 00:00:28,742 --> 00:00:30,827 Whoa. You're being a little– 17 00:00:28,742 --> 00:00:30,827 Obstreperous? 18 00:00:30,911 --> 00:00:32,537 Recalcitrant? Truculent? 19 00:00:32,621 --> 00:00:34,789 - I was gonna say cray cray. - Alex, sweet pea– 20 00:00:34,873 --> 00:00:37,166 I really need to focus. 21 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,085 There is a 16-year-old science prodigy... 22 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,254 studying cancer research at Johns Hopkins. 23 00:00:41,338 --> 00:00:43,631 Sixteen! What am I doing? I'm eating cake! 24 00:00:43,715 --> 00:00:44,757 No, no, no. 25 00:00:44,841 --> 00:00:47,468 Cake! Cake! Cake! 26 00:00:59,272 --> 00:01:02,066 Alex might be a little bit fragile after last night, 27 00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,693 so let's try to be sensitive. 28 00:01:03,777 --> 00:01:06,946 Oh, believe me, I am going to be nothing but nice to Alex from now on. 29 00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:09,866 If she snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think she's coming for first? 30 00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,701 She's not going on a rampage. 31 00:01:11,785 --> 00:01:13,369 I bet she'd let me live. She likes me. 32 00:01:13,453 --> 00:01:15,079 I'm just gonna say it– I never trusted her. 33 00:01:15,163 --> 00:01:16,497 All right. Everybody just be normal. 34 00:01:16,581 --> 00:01:18,708 We're gonna treat her exactly the way we usually do. 35 00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:20,710 And there she is! 36 00:01:20,794 --> 00:01:22,045 Hi, pretty girl. 37 00:01:20,794 --> 00:01:22,045 How'd you sleep? 38 00:01:22,129 --> 00:01:24,380 - Fine. - Your hair looks supersoft, Al. 39 00:01:24,464 --> 00:01:26,174 And is that a great new sweater? 40 00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:27,717 Love. 41 00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:29,719 - Dad, can you hand me the butter knife? - No! 42 00:01:29,803 --> 00:01:31,137 Haley, Luke, upstairs, please. 43 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,722 Thank you. 44 00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:36,309 Thanks. 45 00:01:36,393 --> 00:01:37,935 So, about my meltdown– 46 00:01:38,019 --> 00:01:39,145 Who? 47 00:01:38,019 --> 00:01:39,145 What meltdown? 48 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,230 I want to see a therapist. I did some research. 49 00:01:41,314 --> 00:01:43,232 Dr. Gregory Clark– highly recommended, 50 00:01:43,316 --> 00:01:45,610 specializes in teenagers and is covered by our insurance. 51 00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:47,612 I booked a double session with him today, 52 00:01:47,696 --> 00:01:51,158 and since you guys have the open house, I will be taking the bus. 53 00:01:53,034 --> 00:01:54,661 Okay. 54 00:01:53,034 --> 00:01:54,661 That sounds good. 55 00:01:55,829 --> 00:01:57,914 She's like a self-cleaning oven. 56 00:01:57,998 --> 00:01:59,415 Hey! 57 00:01:57,998 --> 00:01:59,415 Hey. 58 00:01:59,499 --> 00:02:02,710 Check it out. I'm rockin' the old school for the open house today. 59 00:02:02,794 --> 00:02:06,422 - I'm gonna put the "fizz" back in "phys ed." - I love it– all of it. 60 00:02:06,506 --> 00:02:08,591 Really? 'Cause I want to make a good impression today. 61 00:02:08,675 --> 00:02:10,676 I want to be the teacher all the parents are talking about. 62 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,929 Well, that explains the socks. 63 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,929 What? 64 00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:14,555 There's a caste system at school– 65 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:17,934 academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. 66 00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:19,852 It's offensive and disrespectful. 67 00:02:19,936 --> 00:02:22,021 They treat us like we're lunch ladies. 68 00:02:22,105 --> 00:02:23,606 Hey there, neighbor. 69 00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:26,359 Oh, hey. It's Asher, right? 70 00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:26,359 Yeah. 71 00:02:26,443 --> 00:02:27,777 Um, I just wanted to let you know– 72 00:02:27,861 --> 00:02:29,695 I think there might be something wrong with your air conditioner. 73 00:02:29,779 --> 00:02:30,947 Oh, really? 74 00:02:29,779 --> 00:02:30,947 Yeah. 75 00:02:31,031 --> 00:02:32,532 It just seems to be running a lot, 76 00:02:32,616 --> 00:02:34,117 even when it's, uh, kind of cool outside. 77 00:02:34,201 --> 00:02:35,618 Oh. No, no. 78 00:02:35,702 --> 00:02:37,286 My partner runs a little hot. 79 00:02:37,370 --> 00:02:39,038 Not as hot as our planet. 80 00:02:39,122 --> 00:02:40,915 Sorry. I don't mean to be that guy. 81 00:02:40,999 --> 00:02:43,167 It's just, um, we're all in this together. 82 00:02:43,251 --> 00:02:44,877 Yeah. I drive a Prius, so– 83 00:02:44,961 --> 00:02:46,546 And that's a nice little gesture. 84 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,214 My car runs on reclaimed cooking oil. 85 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:51,050 - I have some literature, if you want it. - That's okay. Save the paper. 86 00:02:51,134 --> 00:02:53,803 I haven't printed anything since 2004. I was gonna e-mail you. 87 00:02:53,887 --> 00:02:56,514 - On your power-hungry computer? - My entire house is solar-powered. 88 00:02:56,598 --> 00:02:59,142 I sell energy back to the grid and use that money to save polar bears. 89 00:02:59,226 --> 00:03:03,688 - I'm an environmental lawyer, so I'm pretty green. - Mmm. So is your lawn. 90 00:03:05,524 --> 00:03:08,484 I went drought-tolerant– succulents, indigenous plants, rock garden. 91 00:03:08,568 --> 00:03:12,363 My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box. 92 00:03:12,447 --> 00:03:14,031 She's a cute kid. 93 00:03:14,115 --> 00:03:16,535 I remember when she was in disposable diapers. 94 00:03:20,872 --> 00:03:22,498 Are you ready? 95 00:03:20,872 --> 00:03:22,498 Yeah. 96 00:03:22,582 --> 00:03:25,334 Why do you look like that when I look like this? 97 00:03:25,418 --> 00:03:27,170 My friends say it's because of your money. 98 00:03:27,254 --> 00:03:30,131 No, I'm just saying, why is she all dressed up for a school open house? 99 00:03:30,215 --> 00:03:32,508 I want to impress Manny's history teacher. 100 00:03:32,592 --> 00:03:34,344 I want Manny to go to Washington, D.C. 101 00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:36,512 Yeah, Junior Congress. 102 00:03:36,596 --> 00:03:38,931 Only one kid in the whole grade gets picked to go. 103 00:03:39,015 --> 00:03:40,433 I think I can make a difference. 104 00:03:40,517 --> 00:03:42,435 Regular Congress can't even make a difference. 105 00:03:42,519 --> 00:03:43,853 Don't worry, Manny. I have it covered. 106 00:03:43,937 --> 00:03:45,897 You just go and enjoy your date. 107 00:03:45,981 --> 00:03:48,024 I have a date. It's no big deal. 108 00:03:48,108 --> 00:03:50,401 - Don't make a thing about it. - What did I do with my car keys? 109 00:03:50,485 --> 00:03:52,695 I mean, we're just friends now, but I have a good feeling. 110 00:03:52,779 --> 00:03:55,531 I know. Don't get ahead of myself. 111 00:03:52,779 --> 00:03:55,531 Every time I put them down. 112 00:03:55,615 --> 00:03:57,241 What is her name? 113 00:03:55,615 --> 00:03:57,241 Either Zoe or Piper. 114 00:03:57,325 --> 00:03:59,702 How can you be going on a date and you don't know her name? 115 00:03:59,786 --> 00:04:01,287 This is where it gets interesting. 116 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,080 I seriously doubt that. 117 00:04:03,164 --> 00:04:06,293 A few days ago, we almost let a girl come between us. 118 00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:10,004 Who is she? 119 00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:10,004 The new girl. 120 00:04:10,088 --> 00:04:12,548 She's pretty. - Super pretty. 121 00:04:12,632 --> 00:04:14,634 Dibs. 122 00:04:12,632 --> 00:04:14,634 What? N-No. 123 00:04:14,718 --> 00:04:17,887 You can't call dibs. She's a human being with feelings, not the front seat. 124 00:04:17,971 --> 00:04:20,223 Then a miracle happened. 125 00:04:20,307 --> 00:04:22,976 Twins, each as pretty as the other. 126 00:04:24,561 --> 00:04:27,563 It's funny. Luke and I don't usually go for the same kind of girl. 127 00:04:27,647 --> 00:04:31,484 Yeah. I like to describe my type as "get-able." 128 00:04:33,987 --> 00:04:36,072 What are you doing, Tucker? 129 00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:37,949 Oh, hey, Principal Brown. 130 00:04:38,033 --> 00:04:41,953 Do you know how other teachers drone on and on to parents with their boring lectures? 131 00:04:42,037 --> 00:04:44,455 Well, I thought I would go another way. 132 00:04:44,539 --> 00:04:47,416 Oh. Well, I don't like the sound of that at all. 133 00:04:44,539 --> 00:04:47,416 I think you will. 134 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,586 I'm gonna spice things up with a spirited game of dodgeball. 135 00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:52,255 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 136 00:04:52,339 --> 00:04:54,423 Okay, before you say no– 137 00:04:52,339 --> 00:04:54,423 I already said "no." 138 00:04:54,507 --> 00:04:56,425 let me show you my whole bit. 139 00:04:54,507 --> 00:04:56,425 Uh-huh. 140 00:04:56,509 --> 00:04:59,095 Howdy, folks. My name's Tucker. 141 00:04:59,179 --> 00:05:01,847 I'm the sheriff of dodge... ball. 142 00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:03,766 Oh. 143 00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:03,766 Laugh, laugh, laugh. 144 00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:06,102 And then– 145 00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:06,102 No. No "then." No. 146 00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:07,937 Have you seen the shape some of these folks are in? 147 00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:09,772 We don't need a parent dropping dead in here. 148 00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:11,440 Look, this is the Dolphin Den. 149 00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:14,569 I am not renaming it the Harvey K. Mandelbaum Memorial Gym. 150 00:05:14,653 --> 00:05:17,488 But I was gonna divide everybody up into the Hatfield and McCoys. 151 00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:19,199 Just– No dodgeball! 152 00:05:22,619 --> 00:05:26,289 Hello, Mr. Ingram. I am Gloria Delgado-Pritchett, Manny's mother. 153 00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:29,041 Yes, of course. 154 00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:29,041 I just wanted to thank you so much. 155 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,918 He thinks the world of you. 156 00:05:31,002 --> 00:05:33,087 You know, as a child of an immigrant, 157 00:05:33,171 --> 00:05:36,632 he can look at the world with such a fresh perspective. 158 00:05:36,716 --> 00:05:39,760 And talking about fresh, I brought you some empanadas. 159 00:05:39,844 --> 00:05:41,012 Subtle. 160 00:05:41,846 --> 00:05:43,514 Hey, Phil. Where's Claire? 161 00:05:43,598 --> 00:05:45,766 Oh, she's going to Alex's classes. I'm doing Luke's. 162 00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:49,478 I'm surprised to see you here. Isn't your team playing today? Yeah. Gloria made me come. 163 00:05:49,562 --> 00:05:52,523 I think I'm recording the game, but you can never know. 164 00:05:52,607 --> 00:05:54,525 The last time, I got six hours of Bravo. 165 00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:56,110 And who knows? 166 00:05:56,194 --> 00:06:00,031 Maybe Manny's going to be the first Latino president. 167 00:06:00,115 --> 00:06:04,660 Hello, Mr. Ingram. Dr. Donna Duncan, Wesley's mom. 168 00:06:04,744 --> 00:06:06,704 Just brought you a little thank-you... 169 00:06:06,788 --> 00:06:09,290 for being his absolute favorite teacher ever. 170 00:06:09,374 --> 00:06:11,834 Those cupcakes are so white. 171 00:06:09,374 --> 00:06:11,834 Thank you. 172 00:06:11,918 --> 00:06:13,502 Dr. Donna Duncan. 173 00:06:13,586 --> 00:06:16,005 I'm Gloria. We've met several times. 174 00:06:16,089 --> 00:06:17,923 Oh, of course. 175 00:06:18,007 --> 00:06:20,509 Mario's mom. 176 00:06:18,007 --> 00:06:20,509 Manny. 177 00:06:20,593 --> 00:06:25,222 And how is he fitting in now? Better? Anyway– 178 00:06:25,306 --> 00:06:27,434 Here she is. 179 00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,353 You brought a flask to an open house? 180 00:06:30,437 --> 00:06:32,772 You want some? It's scotch. 181 00:06:30,437 --> 00:06:32,772 No. Put it away. 182 00:06:32,856 --> 00:06:34,690 Don't be such a goody-goody. Taste it. 183 00:06:34,774 --> 00:06:36,400 It's older than you are. 184 00:06:34,774 --> 00:06:36,400 I don't want any scotch. 185 00:06:36,484 --> 00:06:39,153 Well, just smell it. 186 00:06:36,484 --> 00:06:39,153 Fine. 187 00:06:39,237 --> 00:06:41,197 Mr. Dunphy, is that a flask? 188 00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:42,698 No. It is. 189 00:06:42,782 --> 00:06:45,076 I was– It's his. 190 00:06:42,782 --> 00:06:45,076 No, it's not. 191 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,913 For the record, no alcohol is allowed on school premises. 192 00:06:48,997 --> 00:06:52,459 For God's sake, Phil, it's 2:00 in the afternoon. 193 00:06:57,297 --> 00:07:01,301 So, Alex, tell me why you're here. 194 00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:03,719 I had a little meltdown last night, 195 00:07:03,803 --> 00:07:05,638 and I'm afraid it'll happen again, 196 00:07:05,722 --> 00:07:07,890 but this time in the middle of the S.A.T.'s or something. 197 00:07:07,974 --> 00:07:09,600 Why do you think you melted down? 198 00:07:09,684 --> 00:07:12,895 I'm stressed. It's my junior year. 199 00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:15,731 Part of me feels like the limbic system in my brain's a bit off. 200 00:07:15,815 --> 00:07:17,566 That's a thing, right? I did some research. 201 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:20,736 You know I charge the same even if you diagnose yourself? 202 00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:23,155 I'm just trying to move this along. I have a lot to do. 203 00:07:23,239 --> 00:07:25,282 Well, uh, this is a process. 204 00:07:25,366 --> 00:07:26,951 You know, it takes some time. 205 00:07:27,035 --> 00:07:29,453 - What– What are you thinking? 206 00:07:29,537 --> 00:07:31,789 - Nothing. - No, no. Go ahead. Tell me. 207 00:07:31,873 --> 00:07:33,582 That maybe you're not up for this. 208 00:07:33,666 --> 00:07:37,086 I mean, no offense. You're just a lot older than you look on your Web site. 209 00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:39,755 - Oh. - Did you even have S.A.T.'s when you were in high school? 210 00:07:39,839 --> 00:07:41,507 Or Asian kids? 211 00:07:39,839 --> 00:07:41,507 Oh, no. 212 00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:44,510 No, no, no. But there were other things I worried about– 213 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:47,763 Spanish Inquisition, sailing off the edge of the world, 214 00:07:47,847 --> 00:07:49,682 learning how to understand fire. 215 00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:52,184 - Sorry. - You mind if we try something? 216 00:07:52,268 --> 00:07:54,812 - What? - Just do me a favor. 217 00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:56,439 Take a deep breath. 218 00:08:00,235 --> 00:08:03,196 Great. Now, what's on your mind? 219 00:08:04,322 --> 00:08:06,615 Well– 220 00:08:06,699 --> 00:08:09,452 I just remembered that I forgot to charge my computer before I left... 221 00:08:09,536 --> 00:08:11,620 and that I have to get new index cards before Monday. 222 00:08:11,704 --> 00:08:13,164 Hopefully they don't run out of the blue ones, 223 00:08:13,248 --> 00:08:14,957 because for some reason, those help me study better. 224 00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:17,376 Maybe it's because they're easier to read or maybe my prescription's getting worse. 225 00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,211 I should probably make an appointment with the eye doctor. 226 00:08:19,295 --> 00:08:20,796 Also, should I get a job this summer, 227 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,631 or would an internship look better on my application? 228 00:08:22,715 --> 00:08:25,718 And what is up with Hillary? Is she going to run or not? 229 00:08:25,802 --> 00:08:28,637 I mean, I feel like she'd totally understand the feeling of being overwhelmed... 230 00:08:28,721 --> 00:08:32,016 but also like you're not doing enough at the same time. 231 00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:33,560 Wow. 232 00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:39,064 Hey, Nina, how's Sanjay? 233 00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:39,064 Oh, great. Thanks. 234 00:08:39,148 --> 00:08:41,400 He's just dealing with the S.A.T.'s and the A.C.T.'s... 235 00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:43,819 and that Merit Scholarship application everyone's so stressed about. 236 00:08:43,903 --> 00:08:45,404 What– What application? 237 00:08:45,488 --> 00:08:47,823 Let's begin by talking about the A.P. physics test, 238 00:08:47,907 --> 00:08:50,159 which, as you know, takes place on– 239 00:08:50,243 --> 00:08:52,661 May 21. 240 00:08:52,745 --> 00:08:55,414 With Luke and Haley, I'm on top of everything because they aren't. 241 00:08:55,498 --> 00:09:01,045 But Alex is so self-sufficient, I just sort of put it in cruise control. 242 00:09:01,129 --> 00:09:04,715 I've fallen asleep at the wheel, and now my little genius is covered in cake. 243 00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:08,010 Now a list of practice tests I recommend the students take before then: 244 00:09:08,094 --> 00:09:10,679 3-A, 4-C, 245 00:09:10,763 --> 00:09:12,515 12-A through F, 246 00:09:12,599 --> 00:09:14,433 18-D, 19-A, 247 00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:20,397 23-C, 24-G, 25-H, 26-A– 248 00:09:20,481 --> 00:09:22,399 Meanwhile, a great artist like Bob Dylan... 249 00:09:22,483 --> 00:09:24,527 would get voted off in the first round, which– 250 00:09:24,611 --> 00:09:27,613 If you wet the end, it will stick to his face. 251 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,783 - You're a genius. - Piper, that's rude. 252 00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:33,119 You know, Manny, in chorus we sang "Blowin' in the Wind." 253 00:09:33,953 --> 00:09:35,412 Now that's blowin' in the wind. 254 00:09:35,496 --> 00:09:37,623 You're funny, Luke. 255 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,583 Manny and I need to use the restroom. 256 00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:41,169 We do? 257 00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:45,130 You've gotta switch with me. 258 00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:46,715 What? No, we can't do that. 259 00:09:46,799 --> 00:09:48,634 They're twins. They'll never notice. 260 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,929 You realize we're not twins, right? 261 00:09:52,639 --> 00:09:55,474 - Special dollhouse delivery for Lily. 262 00:09:55,558 --> 00:09:58,310 - It's here, it's here! - I think you're going to love it. 263 00:09:58,394 --> 00:10:00,563 I spent so many hours playing with this when I was your age. 264 00:10:00,647 --> 00:10:02,940 Yeah, me too. Hey, quick, turn off your car. 265 00:10:03,024 --> 00:10:04,567 Why? It's in park, I think. 266 00:10:04,651 --> 00:10:06,360 I have a judgy green neighbor. 267 00:10:06,444 --> 00:10:09,321 He had the nerve to come over here and tell me that I'm not green enough. 268 00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:11,740 Shut up! You're super green. 269 00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:11,740 Thank you. 270 00:10:11,824 --> 00:10:13,450 I'm– I'm recycling a dollhouse. 271 00:10:13,534 --> 00:10:15,411 I even recycled a child. 272 00:10:15,495 --> 00:10:17,371 Didn't you win some award? 273 00:10:15,495 --> 00:10:17,371 Yes, yes. 274 00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:20,791 The State Bar Association Award for Sustained Excellence in the Field of Environmental– 275 00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:22,418 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one. - Law. 276 00:10:22,502 --> 00:10:24,503 There was one word left. You didn't have to cut me off. 277 00:10:24,587 --> 00:10:26,755 Dollhouse, please. 278 00:10:24,587 --> 00:10:26,755 Okay. Okay. 279 00:10:26,839 --> 00:10:29,508 You know what you should do? 280 00:10:26,839 --> 00:10:29,508 Hmm? 281 00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:32,928 March right over there and wave that trophy in his stupid eco face. 282 00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:36,432 No. You think? 283 00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:36,432 Yes. Those people are so annoying. 284 00:10:36,516 --> 00:10:40,352 There's this girl at my school who was all over me about my boots 'cause they're leather. 285 00:10:40,436 --> 00:10:43,022 Meanwhile, she's wearing Crocs, like those aren't endangered. 286 00:10:43,106 --> 00:10:44,815 You know what? I am gonna do that. 287 00:10:44,899 --> 00:10:47,026 Show him to out-green me. 288 00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:48,777 Okay. Oh, no. 289 00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:48,777 Oh, no. 290 00:10:48,861 --> 00:10:50,696 All right, those are blowing into his yard. 291 00:10:48,861 --> 00:10:50,696 Oh, crap. 292 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,364 Okay, that's definitely gonna hurt my case. 293 00:10:52,448 --> 00:10:55,284 Uh, you pick these up. I'm gonna go get the trophy. Lily, help her. 294 00:10:55,368 --> 00:10:57,870 I heard that "recycled child" comment. 295 00:11:01,499 --> 00:11:03,751 Thanks to your little flask, now the teacher thinks I'm a burnout. 296 00:11:03,835 --> 00:11:05,210 Football game. 297 00:11:05,294 --> 00:11:07,630 Football game! 298 00:11:05,294 --> 00:11:07,630 What are you doing? 299 00:11:07,714 --> 00:11:09,548 You can do this now. I saw it in a commercial. 300 00:11:09,632 --> 00:11:11,967 Not with that phone. You might as well say it into your wallet. 301 00:11:12,051 --> 00:11:13,636 Come on. We're gonna be late for math. 302 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,096 I'm not going to any more boring classes. 303 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,096 You're just gonna cut? 304 00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:18,933 No, I'm just not gonna go because I'm in my 60s. 305 00:11:19,017 --> 00:11:21,477 Teachers' lounge. 306 00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:23,979 They got a TV in here. 307 00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:23,979 We can't go in the teachers' lounge. 308 00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:26,065 Why not? 309 00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:26,065 Um, it's for teachers only. 310 00:11:26,149 --> 00:11:29,485 You're a teacher. Right now, you're teaching me how to be a little bitch. 311 00:11:30,403 --> 00:11:32,071 Jay, don't. Jay. 312 00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:33,489 Jay! 313 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,410 So, when do you think you'll be making your decision? 314 00:11:38,494 --> 00:11:40,704 Oh, sometime in the next week or so. 315 00:11:40,788 --> 00:11:43,415 Oh, take your time. It would be rude to rush you. 316 00:11:43,499 --> 00:11:46,502 Not as rude as interrupting two people in the middle of a conversation. 317 00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:49,672 Well, actually, I'll go. I'm gonna go grab some coffee. 318 00:11:49,756 --> 00:11:53,425 Good idea, because those cupcakes look very dry. 319 00:11:53,509 --> 00:11:56,178 Hi. This is unbelievable. 320 00:11:56,262 --> 00:11:58,389 They just gave me four books on applying to top colleges. 321 00:11:58,473 --> 00:12:00,182 When am I gonna have time to read all this? 322 00:12:01,726 --> 00:12:04,353 Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. 323 00:12:04,437 --> 00:12:05,896 Come on, girls. 324 00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:09,358 Oh, she saw me. Everybody sees me. 325 00:12:09,442 --> 00:12:11,694 Who was that? 326 00:12:09,442 --> 00:12:11,694 Dr. Dooda Dada. 327 00:12:11,778 --> 00:12:15,280 She thinks that she can flirt her son all the way to Washington, 328 00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:17,032 but I'm gonna take her down. 329 00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:20,244 I would love to chat, but I got to get to A.P. calc. 330 00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:20,244 Okay. 331 00:12:20,328 --> 00:12:23,455 Physical education is a critical part of every school day. 332 00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:26,375 As we develop the mind, so we must the body. 333 00:12:26,459 --> 00:12:28,210 This begins with good nutrition, 334 00:12:28,294 --> 00:12:30,421 uh, physical activity, sportsmanship... 335 00:12:30,505 --> 00:12:31,964 and attention to personal hygiene. 336 00:12:32,048 --> 00:12:33,549 No, please, please. Please don't go. 337 00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:36,677 I know this is boring, but this isn't my idea. 338 00:12:36,761 --> 00:12:39,304 I wanted to play a spirited game of dodgeball, but– 339 00:12:39,388 --> 00:12:42,599 That sounds fun. I'll play dodgeball. 340 00:12:42,683 --> 00:12:43,976 I'll play too. 341 00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:45,561 Anything's gotta be better than this. 342 00:12:45,645 --> 00:12:48,731 Oh, well, you know what? We're really not supposed to. 343 00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:50,482 But you know what? Hey, guys, listen to this. 344 00:12:50,566 --> 00:12:53,069 My name's Cam. I'm the sheriff of dodge... 345 00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:55,279 ball. 346 00:12:55,363 --> 00:12:58,866 Okay, you guys are the Hatfields. You are the McCoys. 347 00:12:58,950 --> 00:13:01,785 Mr. Mandelbaum, I'd like you to stay seated. You're gonna be our referee. 348 00:13:01,869 --> 00:13:04,913 All right, everybody, let's dodgeball. 349 00:13:04,997 --> 00:13:07,249 Dodgeball was a smash. 350 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:09,460 Dr. Donna and Gloria were like two assassins... 351 00:13:09,544 --> 00:13:13,506 - just picking off their victims one by one. 352 00:13:16,175 --> 00:13:18,302 Okay, last two dodge-ballers. 353 00:13:18,386 --> 00:13:20,637 - Are you ready? - Yes. 354 00:13:20,721 --> 00:13:23,599 - Are you ready? - Yes! 355 00:13:25,268 --> 00:13:27,978 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - I'm going to kill you! 356 00:13:28,062 --> 00:13:29,605 Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, no! 357 00:13:31,691 --> 00:13:33,192 Ow! My eye! 358 00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:41,492 So you like theater, and you just put this fake thumb in our fries. 359 00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:42,618 Yep. 360 00:13:43,911 --> 00:13:45,287 I'm gonna go out on a limb here... 361 00:13:45,371 --> 00:13:46,538 and say we're with the wrong people. 362 00:13:46,622 --> 00:13:49,124 Let's just switch dates and get this party started. 363 00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:51,627 - What? We don't want to switch. - Yeah. 364 00:13:51,711 --> 00:13:53,212 I'm not attracted to you. 365 00:13:53,296 --> 00:13:55,255 And I'm not attracted to you. 366 00:13:55,339 --> 00:13:58,342 Wait a minute. We like all the same things, but you don't think I'm cute? 367 00:13:58,426 --> 00:14:00,344 I've got a thing for Latin men. 368 00:14:00,428 --> 00:14:03,680 I like 'em dumb. 369 00:14:00,428 --> 00:14:03,680 Well, that's just offensive. 370 00:14:03,764 --> 00:14:06,725 And shallow. Just because we're guys doesn't mean we don't have feelings. 371 00:14:06,809 --> 00:14:09,019 Yeah. I don't feel good about this. 372 00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:12,731 It makes me feel... bad. 373 00:14:12,815 --> 00:14:14,191 Come on, Luke. Let's get out of here. 374 00:14:14,275 --> 00:14:17,403 Our parents aren't home. If you want, we'll make out with you. 375 00:14:18,571 --> 00:14:20,489 I'm not proud of what happened next. 376 00:14:20,573 --> 00:14:22,783 I am. 377 00:14:26,287 --> 00:14:28,080 He's not home. 378 00:14:28,164 --> 00:14:29,665 How's the cleanup going? 379 00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:31,834 Well, I think I got most of 'em. 380 00:14:31,918 --> 00:14:34,044 You've been at this a while. How come you only have eight peanuts? 381 00:14:34,128 --> 00:14:35,671 Instead of carrying them around, 382 00:14:35,755 --> 00:14:38,590 I made a huge pile right over th– 383 00:14:38,674 --> 00:14:41,176 - Again? - Geez. They're everywhere. 384 00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:42,678 Oh, God. Oh! Bird! 385 00:14:42,762 --> 00:14:45,347 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! 386 00:14:45,431 --> 00:14:49,143 Oh, no! What is that smell? It smells like French fries. 387 00:14:49,227 --> 00:14:50,811 It's biodiesel. Can you plug it up? 388 00:14:50,895 --> 00:14:52,521 Oh, what? With what? Popcorn? 389 00:14:52,605 --> 00:14:55,607 Oh, geez. No! 390 00:14:52,605 --> 00:14:55,607 My boots. This is a disaster! 391 00:14:55,691 --> 00:14:57,192 Save the seals! 392 00:14:57,276 --> 00:14:59,069 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell? 393 00:14:59,153 --> 00:15:00,821 What did you do? 394 00:15:00,905 --> 00:15:04,200 Uh, I won a green award. That's what. 395 00:15:05,785 --> 00:15:07,703 You think you can get this thing to work? 396 00:15:07,787 --> 00:15:09,872 Hey, you're supposed to be the lookout. What if somebody walks in? 397 00:15:09,956 --> 00:15:13,083 Gee, they'll call my parents. Hey, look. You did it! 398 00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:16,086 Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. Listen, I'm gonna get back to class. 399 00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:19,006 Before you go, let me ask you a question. 400 00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:21,216 How do you know how to do all this stuff? 401 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,260 Back in high school, I was in the A.V. club. 402 00:15:23,344 --> 00:15:25,053 We did all kinds of crazy things. 403 00:15:25,137 --> 00:15:26,930 One year, we hid a microphone in the gym. 404 00:15:27,014 --> 00:15:29,433 We could totally hear everything that was going on at prom. 405 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,727 I used to make fun of guys like you. 406 00:15:31,811 --> 00:15:34,313 - This is pretty cool. - Really? 407 00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:37,482 You think this is cool? 408 00:15:37,566 --> 00:15:39,401 Yeah! 409 00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:41,320 First down! 410 00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:41,320 All right. 411 00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:43,488 Best open house ever. 412 00:15:43,572 --> 00:15:45,449 It's all gravy when you're in the A.V. 413 00:15:45,533 --> 00:15:48,952 Admit it. Doesn't it feel good to break a few rules, take a walk on the wild side? 414 00:15:49,036 --> 00:15:50,704 You're welcome. 415 00:15:49,036 --> 00:15:50,704 No, you're welcome. 416 00:15:50,788 --> 00:15:52,414 I'm the one who set this whole thing up. 417 00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:55,834 Let's just say we make a good team. 418 00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:55,834 To us. 419 00:15:55,918 --> 00:15:57,419 There he goes. There he goes! 420 00:15:57,503 --> 00:15:58,837 Come on, come on! 421 00:15:57,503 --> 00:15:58,837 Come on! 422 00:15:58,921 --> 00:16:00,631 Yeah! 423 00:16:04,677 --> 00:16:07,846 I've been like this for as long as I can remember. 424 00:16:07,930 --> 00:16:09,932 Can you give me an example? 425 00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:13,227 Well, when I was little, I was in a spelling bee at school, 426 00:16:13,311 --> 00:16:15,771 and I really wanted to win. 427 00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:17,814 I don't know why. There was no prize. 428 00:16:17,898 --> 00:16:19,608 No one cared. 429 00:16:19,692 --> 00:16:21,318 My parents didn't even know I was in it. 430 00:16:21,402 --> 00:16:23,612 - I just felt this weight on my shoulders, 431 00:16:23,696 --> 00:16:26,114 like if I lost, I'd– 432 00:16:26,198 --> 00:16:27,783 I don't know. I just had to win. 433 00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,243 - And did you? - Yep. 434 00:16:29,327 --> 00:16:30,953 Know what the winning word was? 435 00:16:29,327 --> 00:16:30,953 Hmm. 436 00:16:31,037 --> 00:16:32,538 Responsibility. 437 00:16:34,165 --> 00:16:36,541 Is that what you feel– 438 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:41,588 a responsibility to win all the time, to always be the best? 439 00:16:41,672 --> 00:16:43,131 That's one way to put it. 440 00:16:43,215 --> 00:16:46,301 And this responsibility– Where does it come from? 441 00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:47,886 I'm not sure. 442 00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:49,805 It's just... there. 443 00:16:49,889 --> 00:16:52,058 So it's an internal pressure. 444 00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:56,311 Yeah. Kind of. 445 00:16:56,395 --> 00:17:00,482 I mean, once you start overachieving, people expect things from you. 446 00:17:00,566 --> 00:17:04,445 - Like what people? - You know, the world– 447 00:17:05,696 --> 00:17:08,615 Teachers, parents, other kids. 448 00:17:08,699 --> 00:17:10,617 It's not all internal. 449 00:17:10,701 --> 00:17:12,536 Don't get me wrong. 450 00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:14,663 I like the way I'm wired. 451 00:17:14,747 --> 00:17:18,000 It's what's going to get me into a good school. It's what makes me who I am. 452 00:17:18,084 --> 00:17:20,669 And how is that– being who you are? 453 00:17:20,753 --> 00:17:22,212 I don't know. 454 00:17:22,296 --> 00:17:23,798 Mostly good. 455 00:17:24,799 --> 00:17:26,967 A little exhausting. 456 00:17:27,051 --> 00:17:29,553 Sometimes hard. 457 00:17:29,637 --> 00:17:31,138 I guess there's your answer. 458 00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:34,474 It's hard being me. 459 00:17:34,558 --> 00:17:36,518 Tell me a little more about your family. 460 00:17:36,602 --> 00:17:39,229 They're pretty normal, I guess. 461 00:17:39,313 --> 00:17:42,357 I'm not like any of them, but that doesn't really bother me. 462 00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:46,528 - Ever? - Only when they say things like "Alex, you study too much"... 463 00:17:46,612 --> 00:17:50,699 or "Don't freak out" or "Go do something fun." 464 00:17:50,783 --> 00:17:54,745 So your siblings– They don't experience the same pressures you do. 465 00:17:54,829 --> 00:17:57,205 Oh, God, no. They don't care about school. 466 00:17:54,829 --> 00:17:57,205 Hmm. 467 00:17:57,289 --> 00:17:59,875 Why do you think that is? You all grew up in the same house... 468 00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:02,377 with the same parents, yet you're the only one... 469 00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:06,256 who feels this enormous pressure to achieve at such a high level. 470 00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:08,050 Why do we even have to talk about my family? 471 00:18:08,134 --> 00:18:10,719 They don't have anything to do with this. 472 00:18:10,803 --> 00:18:12,388 They don't get me. 473 00:18:13,639 --> 00:18:15,432 How's that feel? 474 00:18:15,516 --> 00:18:16,725 I don't know. 475 00:18:16,809 --> 00:18:18,977 You're a smart girl. Try a little harder. 476 00:18:19,061 --> 00:18:20,813 I said I don't know. 477 00:18:25,985 --> 00:18:27,486 I feel... 478 00:18:29,572 --> 00:18:31,073 kind of alone. 479 00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:35,535 I realize our juniors are busy with S.A.T.'s, 480 00:18:35,619 --> 00:18:38,580 so as a rule, I only give two hours of homework a night. 481 00:18:38,664 --> 00:18:40,665 - Two hours? - Our students are highly advanced. 482 00:18:40,749 --> 00:18:42,334 It's nothing they can't handle. 483 00:18:42,418 --> 00:18:44,086 No, I'm– I'm sure they can. 484 00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:46,129 It's just that if they have two hours in this class... 485 00:18:46,213 --> 00:18:47,881 and they have an hour for A.P. bio... 486 00:18:47,965 --> 00:18:51,009 and an hour and a half for, um, advanced lit and– 487 00:18:51,093 --> 00:18:54,096 Hang on one second. Let me just do this on the board, 'cause then it's– 488 00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:57,265 Um, we got two and one and 1.5. 489 00:18:57,349 --> 00:19:01,186 And then another hour and a half for A.P. history. 490 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,939 Gives us– 491 00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:07,359 - It's six. - Yes! Nina, I was getting there. 492 00:19:07,443 --> 00:19:10,028 Thank you. Thank you so much. If I could just have a second to think... 493 00:19:10,112 --> 00:19:12,697 without all the tippy-tappy typing. 494 00:19:12,781 --> 00:19:13,866 Six. 495 00:19:15,868 --> 00:19:18,286 Well, I hope you're happy. You've ruined dodgeball for everyone. 496 00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:20,372 She was the one who threw that ball in my face. 497 00:19:20,456 --> 00:19:22,707 Only because you threw yourself at Mr. Ingram. 498 00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,793 Okay, ladies, please. Can't you see what's going on here? 499 00:19:24,877 --> 00:19:28,046 You both just want what's best for your kids. 500 00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:30,715 Huh? I need to get this trip for Wesley. 501 00:19:30,799 --> 00:19:33,051 I'm tired of him being so mad at me all the time. 502 00:19:33,135 --> 00:19:34,553 Why is he mad? 503 00:19:34,637 --> 00:19:36,179 Oh, he blames me for the divorce. 504 00:19:36,263 --> 00:19:38,390 His father will always be the hero. 505 00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:40,308 It's hard to blame someone who's never there. 506 00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:42,310 Now can't you relate to that? 507 00:19:42,394 --> 00:19:44,563 It will get better. 508 00:19:44,647 --> 00:19:47,482 Kids always figure out who's really there for them. 509 00:19:47,566 --> 00:19:51,278 - Again, we're very sorry about the projector. 510 00:19:51,362 --> 00:19:53,321 I'll send a check on Monday. 511 00:19:53,405 --> 00:19:54,948 - Hi, honey. - I got in trouble. 512 00:19:55,032 --> 00:19:56,867 Whatever she did, add it to my tab. 513 00:19:57,910 --> 00:19:59,703 All right, let's do this. No. No, no, no. 514 00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:02,248 Not you two, just you. Come on, Sheriff. 515 00:20:05,501 --> 00:20:07,294 Oh. Hey, honey. How did it go? 516 00:20:07,378 --> 00:20:09,004 Good. And I made another session for next week. 517 00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:11,590 How was the open house? 518 00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:11,590 Wow. So intense. 519 00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:14,426 I had no idea the kind of pressure you're under. 520 00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:17,929 Honey, I was just you for two hours. I could barely hold it together. 521 00:20:18,013 --> 00:20:21,558 I don't know how you don't have a meltdown every day. I– 522 00:20:21,642 --> 00:20:23,768 Oh, honey. 523 00:20:23,852 --> 00:20:25,687 Sweetie, what? Did I say something? 524 00:20:25,771 --> 00:20:27,355 Yes. 525 00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:28,941 Thank you. 526 00:20:30,526 --> 00:20:32,987 Okay. Okay. 527 00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:36,615 Okay. 528 00:20:38,659 --> 00:20:40,286 Okay. 529 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,621 It's okay. 530 00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,376 Again, I am so sorry. 531 00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:50,086 I guess, in retrospect, it was a little crazy... 532 00:20:50,170 --> 00:20:52,964 that I wanted to show you my State Bar Association Award. 533 00:20:50,170 --> 00:20:52,964 Stop. 534 00:20:53,048 --> 00:20:55,634 And it's possible I come on a little too strong. 535 00:20:55,718 --> 00:20:58,553 No. No, no. I like to think that I'm greener than I am, 536 00:20:58,637 --> 00:21:01,890 but maybe I just want the credit without doing all the hard work that you do. 537 00:21:01,974 --> 00:21:03,225 Well, you're right, it is hard, 538 00:21:03,309 --> 00:21:05,018 but, you know, it's also alienating. 539 00:21:05,102 --> 00:21:06,895 No one wants to be friends with me. 540 00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:09,147 I can't tell you the last time I had people over for dinner, 541 00:21:09,231 --> 00:21:10,774 which is probably a good thing. 542 00:21:10,858 --> 00:21:13,443 You know, with solar power, it takes four days to roast a chicken. 543 00:21:13,527 --> 00:21:15,570 - Really? - If you want it cooked all the way through, yeah. 544 00:21:15,654 --> 00:21:17,489 Hmm. 545 00:21:15,654 --> 00:21:17,489 You know I had salmonella three times? 546 00:21:17,573 --> 00:21:21,284 Wow. If you want to come over to our house for dinner, we kind of owe you. 547 00:21:21,368 --> 00:21:22,911 You can play with my dollhouse. 548 00:21:22,995 --> 00:21:24,538 Yeah? 549 00:21:24,622 --> 00:21:25,914 Is it made from sustainable materials? 550 00:21:25,998 --> 00:21:27,333 Forget it.