1 00:00:02,601 --> 00:00:06,104 Okay, gang. Tonight, the Farewell to VHS Festival continues. 2 00:00:06,188 --> 00:00:08,982 It's been mighty cold in here since The Big Chill. 3 00:00:09,066 --> 00:00:12,193 What say we warm our hearts by... St. Elmo's Fire? 4 00:00:12,277 --> 00:00:14,320 Mmm. Yes! 5 00:00:14,404 --> 00:00:18,074 Couple of wine coolers and some '80s Rob Lowe– I can get into that. 6 00:00:18,158 --> 00:00:20,159 I'm still holding out hope I'll have plans tonight. 7 00:00:20,243 --> 00:00:21,828 Great, two for two. Haley? 8 00:00:21,912 --> 00:00:24,163 Oh, so fun, but I'm gonna have to say no. 9 00:00:24,247 --> 00:00:26,499 I have a photography class thing. 10 00:00:24,247 --> 00:00:26,499 What kind of a thing? 11 00:00:26,583 --> 00:00:29,168 Oh, you know, just an exhibit, like, to show our photos. 12 00:00:29,252 --> 00:00:31,796 - Is it something that we should go to? - Claire, we just made plans. 13 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,757 Mom, this is a college class. I'm not in the third grade. 14 00:00:34,841 --> 00:00:36,843 - Don't you have nap time there? - No. 15 00:00:36,927 --> 00:00:40,597 I have free periods, during which I sometimes nap. 16 00:00:42,474 --> 00:00:44,892 Is it me, or was she just being purposefully vague? 17 00:00:44,976 --> 00:00:48,896 Alex, I want you to go through her stuff and find out about this thing tonight. 18 00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:51,733 Wait, wait. I-I don't feel good about us snooping. 19 00:00:51,817 --> 00:00:53,985 I know. That's why I told Alex to do it. 20 00:00:54,069 --> 00:00:56,362 I think Haley knows more than she's letting on. 21 00:00:56,446 --> 00:00:58,614 Breaks my heart how badly you want to believe that. 22 00:00:58,698 --> 00:01:00,783 - We'll see you guys later. Where are you going? 23 00:01:00,867 --> 00:01:03,202 - Riding our bikes to Xander's. - What are you doing there? 24 00:01:03,286 --> 00:01:06,122 - I don't know. Hanging out. - Sounds fun. Wear your helmets. 25 00:01:06,206 --> 00:01:09,709 We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube. 26 00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:12,545 I don't like them going over to that kid's house. 27 00:01:12,629 --> 00:01:15,506 Why not? 28 00:01:12,629 --> 00:01:15,506 Hmm, Xander's a bad influence. 29 00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:17,133 His older brother is even worse. 30 00:01:17,217 --> 00:01:19,886 Huge stoner, always walking around in his army jacket with his muscles, 31 00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:21,512 flipping his hair out of his blue eyes. 32 00:01:21,596 --> 00:01:24,223 He told me I was looking good one time. I mean, come on. 33 00:01:24,307 --> 00:01:26,642 Yeah, we'll keep our eye on that. But for now, Xander. 34 00:01:26,726 --> 00:01:29,645 I don't trust him. 35 00:01:26,726 --> 00:01:29,645 Claire, you're a tough one to figure out. 36 00:01:29,729 --> 00:01:32,774 You don't trust bad boys, and yet you married one. 37 00:01:46,997 --> 00:01:50,166 My handsome boy. He's so hungry. 38 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:53,002 All right. Be back in a few. 39 00:01:53,086 --> 00:01:56,005 If Shorty calls, tell him I died, but make sure you really sell it. 40 00:01:56,089 --> 00:01:58,216 - It's a funny thing we're doing. - How is that funny? 41 00:01:58,300 --> 00:02:01,928 I knew you'd say that. Just don't answer the phone. Bye, buddy. 42 00:02:02,012 --> 00:02:05,098 Whoa. What's all that about? 43 00:02:05,182 --> 00:02:07,350 - You mad at me or something? - I don't know. 44 00:02:07,434 --> 00:02:09,936 Did you do something to make me mad? Because then I am. 45 00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:11,521 But if you didn't, then I am not. 46 00:02:11,605 --> 00:02:13,773 - I didn't do anything. - Then I am not mad. 47 00:02:13,857 --> 00:02:15,191 I am mad. 48 00:02:15,275 --> 00:02:19,028 Last night, Jay had a sexy dream about some woman. 49 00:02:19,112 --> 00:02:23,950 Oh, baby. 50 00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:27,746 Oh. Oh, baby. 51 00:02:29,206 --> 00:02:33,210 Oh, baby! Oh– 52 00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:36,462 And I know it wasn't about me, 53 00:02:36,546 --> 00:02:39,465 'cause he knows that I hate when men call me "baby." 54 00:02:39,549 --> 00:02:41,884 And, yes, people are allowed their private thoughts, 55 00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:44,095 and I shouldn't be so angry. 56 00:02:44,179 --> 00:02:45,638 But I am Latin, 57 00:02:45,722 --> 00:02:47,640 so I get to feel whatever I want. 58 00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:50,810 - You want to tell me what I did? - Do you want to tell me what you did? 59 00:02:50,894 --> 00:02:53,020 - I don't know what I did. - Then I don't know what you did. 60 00:02:53,104 --> 00:02:54,856 I'm bored. I'm going. 61 00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:57,025 Don't forget your phone. 62 00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:01,654 Ow. I got a bruise on my arm. I don't know where it came from. 63 00:03:01,738 --> 00:03:04,699 Oh, poor baby. 64 00:03:08,078 --> 00:03:10,872 And then I realized. I don't want to work for Charlie anymore. 65 00:03:10,956 --> 00:03:13,332 What I really want to do– 66 00:03:10,956 --> 00:03:13,332 I'm sorry. I can't listen to this. 67 00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:15,877 I need to tell you something, but you have to keep it a secret. 68 00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:17,462 Of course. I'm a lawyer. 69 00:03:17,546 --> 00:03:19,172 I've heard murder confessions. 70 00:03:17,546 --> 00:03:19,172 Really? 71 00:03:19,256 --> 00:03:20,798 Well, in-in mock trials at law school. 72 00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:22,341 But still, I never told anyone. 73 00:03:22,425 --> 00:03:24,302 Seriously, this is only for you. 74 00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:26,345 You can't even tell Cam. Promise? 75 00:03:26,429 --> 00:03:29,432 Uh, okay. Is everything all right? 76 00:03:29,516 --> 00:03:31,017 Look under the table. 77 00:03:31,101 --> 00:03:33,060 Above the ankle, below the knee, what do you see? 78 00:03:33,144 --> 00:03:34,729 I'm a little nervous about this, but– 79 00:03:34,813 --> 00:03:37,273 Oh! Oh, my gosh! You didn't. 80 00:03:34,813 --> 00:03:37,273 I did. 81 00:03:37,357 --> 00:03:39,775 Calf implants. 82 00:03:37,357 --> 00:03:39,775 Wow, and you really went for it, didn't you? 83 00:03:39,859 --> 00:03:41,569 No, no, no. They're still swollen. 84 00:03:41,653 --> 00:03:44,113 And that's why you're wearing sweatpants. Okay, I was– 85 00:03:44,197 --> 00:03:46,199 I was afraid you'd just given up. So, whew! 86 00:03:46,283 --> 00:03:47,533 They'll settle. 87 00:03:47,617 --> 00:03:50,161 I'm gonna start casually referencing my new workout plan, 88 00:03:50,245 --> 00:03:53,372 and then I'm gonna debut them Memorial Day at Laguna Beach. 89 00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:54,999 I personally don't think that you needed them, 90 00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,375 but if they make you happy– 91 00:03:56,459 --> 00:03:57,710 They do. 92 00:03:56,459 --> 00:03:57,710 Good. 93 00:03:57,794 --> 00:04:00,046 I always wanted to be one of those guys running in tights. 94 00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:01,881 But I was too embarrassed about my legs. 95 00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:04,258 If you'd just gone running– 96 00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:04,258 Yep. You're overthinking this, Mitchell. 97 00:04:04,342 --> 00:04:06,844 No joke. You can't tell Cam. 98 00:04:06,928 --> 00:04:09,055 I love him, but he is a giant blabbermouth. 99 00:04:09,139 --> 00:04:12,225 Oh, come on. He's not that bad. 100 00:04:12,309 --> 00:04:14,560 He just– Yeah, no, I can't even sell that. 101 00:04:18,481 --> 00:04:20,608 Jay, to what do I owe the pleasure? 102 00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:23,569 Just here to pick up Manny. No need for a whole thing. 103 00:04:23,653 --> 00:04:25,154 I don't know why I do that to him. 104 00:04:25,238 --> 00:04:27,615 The guy's always so happy to see me. 105 00:04:27,699 --> 00:04:29,617 Eh, I'm not gonna worry about it. 106 00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:31,202 Manny's not here. 107 00:04:31,286 --> 00:04:33,204 He actually went with Luke over to Xander's. 108 00:04:33,288 --> 00:04:35,873 Whoa! Manny didn't tell you where he was going either? 109 00:04:35,957 --> 00:04:37,792 I told you those boys are being cagey. 110 00:04:37,876 --> 00:04:41,629 There's a chance Gloria let me drive over here for nothing as punishment. 111 00:04:41,713 --> 00:04:44,423 I think she snooped on my phone, read some of my e-mails. 112 00:04:44,507 --> 00:04:46,842 That's not cool. E-mails are private. 113 00:04:46,926 --> 00:04:48,594 They were from a friend I loaned money to. 114 00:04:48,678 --> 00:04:50,596 100% your prerogative. A woman. 115 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,598 Oh, no. 116 00:04:52,682 --> 00:04:54,600 Well, I'll tell you what I'd do. 117 00:04:54,684 --> 00:04:57,353 I'd tell my lady, "You got no business being in my business. 118 00:04:57,437 --> 00:04:59,146 Respect your man's boundaries." 119 00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:02,275 Honey, you promised you'd clean the pan if you made brownies. 120 00:05:02,359 --> 00:05:05,361 Well, maybe I forgot to spray it first, and I'm letting it soak, woman. 121 00:05:05,445 --> 00:05:07,113 He only talks like this when you're around. 122 00:05:07,197 --> 00:05:09,490 Well, then, he's done for the day. 123 00:05:07,197 --> 00:05:09,490 Oh, okay. Good. 124 00:05:09,574 --> 00:05:11,325 Bye, Dad. 125 00:05:09,574 --> 00:05:11,325 See ya, buddy. 126 00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:15,997 I have tracked Luke's cell phone, and he is nowhere near his friend Xander's. 127 00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:18,666 Honey, I love technology as much as the next Wozniak, 128 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,793 but are we sure we want to be spying on our kids? 129 00:05:20,877 --> 00:05:23,170 No, and you also shouldn't try to friend us... 130 00:05:23,254 --> 00:05:25,506 with fake Facebook profiles, Margot LaCroix. 131 00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:28,342 I was really hoping some of this would go away when you got a job. 132 00:05:28,426 --> 00:05:29,969 How about I just ask him? 133 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,929 Oh, man. I wish you were my dad. 134 00:05:32,013 --> 00:05:33,472 The things I would have done. 135 00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:34,849 Hello? 136 00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:34,849 Hey, buddy. 137 00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:36,851 Just making sure you got to Xander's okay. 138 00:05:36,935 --> 00:05:38,894 Yep. All good. 139 00:05:38,978 --> 00:05:42,815 Really? 'Cause I hear traffic, and Xander lives on a pretty quiet street, right? 140 00:05:42,899 --> 00:05:45,651 Actually, we left Xander's, and now we're at Sammy's. 141 00:05:45,735 --> 00:05:47,361 Well, that makes perfect sense. 142 00:05:47,445 --> 00:05:49,155 You have fun. Be safe. 143 00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:52,617 He's lying. Look. His friend Sammy lives here. 144 00:05:52,701 --> 00:05:54,368 He's all the way over on Olympic and 20th. 145 00:05:54,452 --> 00:05:56,370 - Olympic and 20th? - Yeah. 146 00:05:56,454 --> 00:05:58,831 That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high. 147 00:05:58,915 --> 00:06:00,416 What? 148 00:05:58,915 --> 00:06:00,416 No. 149 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,920 - We are going there right now. - Wait, wait, wait. Are you sure? 150 00:06:05,088 --> 00:06:06,839 I'm gonna answer, and then I'm gonna walk away. 151 00:06:06,923 --> 00:06:08,591 - Deal? - Okay. 152 00:06:08,675 --> 00:06:11,261 I'm 420% sure. 153 00:06:14,431 --> 00:06:17,267 Wow, she's bad at math. 154 00:06:21,938 --> 00:06:23,981 - Hey, guys. - Hi, Daddy. 155 00:06:24,065 --> 00:06:26,400 - How was lunch? - Oh, it was fine. 156 00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:29,862 Hey, when did salmon become a thing that we put on salad? 157 00:06:29,946 --> 00:06:32,114 2008 in the city, 2011 in the suburbs. 158 00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:34,367 How was Brett? What's the drama du jour? 159 00:06:34,451 --> 00:06:37,203 - Nothing. - Oh, please. It's never nothing with that one. 160 00:06:37,287 --> 00:06:40,039 His perm, the stalker he pretends to have, 161 00:06:40,123 --> 00:06:42,291 nobody will date you when you work at the I.R.S. 162 00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:44,293 I hate it. What was it this time? 163 00:06:44,377 --> 00:06:46,045 No, seriously, nothing. 164 00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:48,881 I guess it is nice to have something other than chicken to throw on there. 165 00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:52,259 - Okay, why are you being so evasive? - I'm not being evasive. I– 166 00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:56,514 - Check out this new tie. - Oh, my gosh. You are redirecting me, 167 00:06:56,598 --> 00:06:59,016 like we do when Lily asks us a question we don't want to answer... 168 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,559 and just throw a doll in her face. 169 00:07:00,643 --> 00:07:03,062 Wait a minute. 170 00:07:03,146 --> 00:07:05,398 Don't be ridiculous. Like I could do that with an adult. 171 00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:06,982 Check out what I got for you. 172 00:07:07,066 --> 00:07:08,567 Oh, good, yes. A garlic press. 173 00:07:08,651 --> 00:07:10,611 I am so tired of my fingers smelli– 174 00:07:08,651 --> 00:07:10,611 Yeah. 175 00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:12,488 Oh, my gosh. You did it again. 176 00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:12,488 What's that? 177 00:07:12,572 --> 00:07:13,823 Oh, it's got to be good. 178 00:07:12,572 --> 00:07:13,823 What? 179 00:07:13,907 --> 00:07:15,157 - Tell me. Tell me. - No, nothing. 180 00:07:15,241 --> 00:07:16,659 There's nothing to tell! 181 00:07:15,241 --> 00:07:16,659 Tell me. 182 00:07:16,743 --> 00:07:18,411 There's nothing to tell! 183 00:07:16,743 --> 00:07:18,411 Tell me, tell me, tell me. 184 00:07:18,495 --> 00:07:21,997 Here. Answer me. How does Santa Claus get to all of those houses? 185 00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:24,834 Okay, sweetie, the adults are talking right now. And look what Daddy brought you. 186 00:07:24,918 --> 00:07:26,752 - Ooh! - Ooh! 187 00:07:26,836 --> 00:07:31,090 Mitchell, when somebody tells me something, I can't wait to get home and tell you. 188 00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:33,008 Don't you feel the same? 189 00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:33,008 Of course I do. 190 00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:36,429 But– He made me promise. 191 00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:38,472 Well, you know what? We don't have to share secrets. 192 00:07:38,556 --> 00:07:41,600 We don't. We already share a house, a life, a daughter. 193 00:07:41,684 --> 00:07:43,811 You know what? I don't– I don't know why I care so much. 194 00:07:43,895 --> 00:07:46,105 Okay, all right, okay. 195 00:07:47,023 --> 00:07:50,234 He got calf implants. 196 00:07:47,023 --> 00:07:50,234 Oh, my God! 197 00:07:50,318 --> 00:07:53,320 What do they look like? 198 00:07:50,318 --> 00:07:53,320 Like he's smuggling two grapefruits. 199 00:07:53,404 --> 00:07:55,322 Which, by the way, were also on my salad. 200 00:07:55,406 --> 00:07:57,241 Okay, this is huge. This is huge! Who all knows? 201 00:07:57,325 --> 00:07:59,618 We have to host a brunch. 202 00:07:57,325 --> 00:07:59,618 Don't you dare tell a single person, okay? 203 00:07:59,702 --> 00:08:02,538 He made me promise not to tell anyone, especially you. 204 00:07:59,702 --> 00:08:02,538 Especially me? 205 00:08:02,622 --> 00:08:04,623 Oh, please. Everybody knows you're terrible at keeping secrets. 206 00:08:04,707 --> 00:08:06,709 Okay, well, I didn't know that was my reputation. 207 00:08:06,793 --> 00:08:08,669 Maybe that's a secret people have been keeping from me. 208 00:08:08,753 --> 00:08:10,588 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 209 00:08:08,753 --> 00:08:10,588 Well, you did. 210 00:08:10,672 --> 00:08:12,131 And you know what the sad thing is? 211 00:08:12,215 --> 00:08:14,551 We could be laughing at someone's calf implants right now. 212 00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:29,858 Oh– 213 00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:43,746 Hey, what are you doing? 214 00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:47,375 I'm just watching you sleep. You look so pretty. 215 00:08:48,543 --> 00:08:51,004 Okay, but don't breathe so loud. 216 00:08:54,132 --> 00:08:56,092 Hey, where are you going? 217 00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:08,354 I can't find a way in. 218 00:09:08,438 --> 00:09:11,941 I can't see anything but I hear them laughing, and you know why kids laugh. 219 00:09:12,025 --> 00:09:14,193 Because their hearts are filled with joy, not suspicion? 220 00:09:14,277 --> 00:09:17,363 We have got to see what is going on in there. Get that drone thing out of the car. 221 00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:21,367 That "thing" is a professional aerial photography tool for real estate use only. 222 00:09:21,451 --> 00:09:24,578 You used it at the beach to film yourself doing sand angels. 223 00:09:24,662 --> 00:09:27,706 For my "Phil Dunphy Will Get You a Heavenly Deal on a Beach House" video. 224 00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:30,376 A professional real estate tool. 225 00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:32,045 That was the consensus. 226 00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:38,133 Hey, Alex. What'd you find out? 227 00:09:38,217 --> 00:09:40,553 Okay, this is a bigger deal than Haley let on. 228 00:09:40,637 --> 00:09:42,596 Only five people in her class were picked to show their photographs, 229 00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,223 and Haley was one of them. 230 00:09:44,307 --> 00:09:45,850 Amazing! 231 00:09:45,934 --> 00:09:47,393 Are there more than five people in the class? 232 00:09:47,477 --> 00:09:49,061 Yes. That's the first thing I checked. 233 00:09:49,145 --> 00:09:51,188 Wow. Then we really do have to be there. 234 00:09:51,272 --> 00:09:54,024 Call Uncle Mitchell and Grandpa and see if they can join us. 235 00:09:54,108 --> 00:09:55,568 She didn't catch you snooping, did she? 236 00:09:55,652 --> 00:09:56,777 No. She's taking a nap. 237 00:09:56,861 --> 00:09:58,571 She's been taking a lot more naps lately. 238 00:09:58,655 --> 00:10:01,699 See what you can find out about that. This is so wrong. 239 00:10:01,783 --> 00:10:03,701 Ah, well, desperate times call for desperate– 240 00:10:03,785 --> 00:10:05,703 What is on your head? 241 00:10:05,787 --> 00:10:08,455 It provides glare protection, but apparently not from you. 242 00:10:08,539 --> 00:10:10,833 Let's just do this. 243 00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,713 We are airborne. 244 00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,713 Uh-huh. 245 00:10:19,509 --> 00:10:23,095 Expertly navigating the wires. 246 00:10:19,509 --> 00:10:23,095 Mm-hmm. 247 00:10:23,179 --> 00:10:24,972 All right. 248 00:10:23,179 --> 00:10:24,972 We have cleared the wall. 249 00:10:25,056 --> 00:10:28,100 Approaching target. There they are. 250 00:10:28,184 --> 00:10:29,685 What are they doing? 251 00:10:29,769 --> 00:10:30,936 They're jumping around on stuff. 252 00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:33,063 Do you see anything suspicious, like, um– 253 00:10:33,147 --> 00:10:35,608 like smoke or paraphernalia or nachos? 254 00:10:35,692 --> 00:10:38,736 No, they're filming each other and moving around like zombies. 255 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:42,072 Honey, they're not getting high. They're making a movie. 256 00:10:42,156 --> 00:10:43,949 Without me! 257 00:10:42,156 --> 00:10:43,949 Wait, wait, wait. 258 00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:47,244 Then why would Luke have lied about going to Sammy's, huh? 259 00:10:47,328 --> 00:10:49,789 - Honey, look. - Oh, God. 260 00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:55,628 Well, he's still our little boy. We gotta get out of here. 261 00:10:55,712 --> 00:10:57,713 He cannot know we were spying on him. Come on. 262 00:10:55,712 --> 00:10:57,713 Too late. 263 00:10:57,797 --> 00:10:59,506 It's too late. They're pointing at the drone. 264 00:10:57,797 --> 00:10:59,506 What? 265 00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:01,383 - We're compromised! - Get it out! Get out! 266 00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:03,344 I can't leave the drone. It belongs to the office! 267 00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:06,639 They're still mad at me for writing on the dry-erase board with a permanent marker. 268 00:11:06,723 --> 00:11:07,723 Get in the car. 269 00:11:06,723 --> 00:11:07,723 Hang on. 270 00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:10,351 Go, go, go! 271 00:11:13,563 --> 00:11:16,690 What was that thing? 272 00:11:13,563 --> 00:11:16,690 Somebody was filming us. 273 00:11:16,774 --> 00:11:19,944 Hey, my dad has one of those. 274 00:11:20,028 --> 00:11:21,570 I know what's going on here. 275 00:11:21,654 --> 00:11:23,656 A movie studio is trying to steal our idea. 276 00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:25,658 Spielberg. 277 00:11:25,742 --> 00:11:28,827 I told you guys. Zombie parkour is a million-dollar idea. 278 00:11:28,911 --> 00:11:32,289 I still don't get it. Zombies don't move well. Vampires, maybe. 279 00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:34,375 Plus, there's your title– Vam-parkour. 280 00:11:34,459 --> 00:11:36,419 I don't hear it. 281 00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:41,048 Look at that. Look at that. 282 00:11:41,132 --> 00:11:44,843 That's how I like to be greeted when I come home. 283 00:11:44,927 --> 00:11:48,430 It turns out Manny's hanging with his friends today, so I didn't need to go pick him up. 284 00:11:48,514 --> 00:11:50,057 Ay, I'm so sorry. I forgot to tell you. 285 00:11:50,141 --> 00:11:52,351 But then you don't tell me everything, so I guess it's okay. 286 00:11:52,435 --> 00:11:55,437 You got a lot of nerve. You're the one who went through my e-mails on my phone. 287 00:11:55,521 --> 00:11:57,690 What are you talking about? No, I didn't. 288 00:11:57,774 --> 00:12:00,859 You're not mad at me for something you found on my phone? 289 00:11:57,774 --> 00:12:00,859 No. 290 00:12:00,943 --> 00:12:03,278 All right, then. Great. 291 00:12:03,362 --> 00:12:05,155 No harm, no foul. 292 00:12:05,239 --> 00:12:07,866 I'll see you at dinner. 293 00:12:05,239 --> 00:12:07,866 Give me that phone! I want to see what you're hiding! 294 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,285 I'm not hiding anything! I don't even know how to use the damn thing. 295 00:12:10,369 --> 00:12:12,204 Oh, look. I accidentally dialed Alex. 296 00:12:12,288 --> 00:12:15,541 Let me say hi to her. The kid idolizes me. Hi, hon. 297 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:16,750 Hi, Grandpa. 298 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:19,211 Real quick, how do I delete e-mails on my phone? 299 00:12:19,295 --> 00:12:22,631 Well, first you have to check your in-box, your trash folder and your sent folder. 300 00:12:22,715 --> 00:12:24,633 People often forget about the sent folder. 301 00:12:24,717 --> 00:12:26,218 Trust me. You get pretty adept at this... 302 00:12:26,302 --> 00:12:28,679 when you have to stay one step ahead of your snooping mother. 303 00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:30,764 Give me the phone. 304 00:12:30,848 --> 00:12:33,475 Gotta go. Uh, yeah, sure. I-I-I have nothing on here. 305 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:36,353 Let me just disconnect from Grandpa, which is not happening right now. 306 00:12:36,437 --> 00:12:37,896 I can see what you're doing, Alex. 307 00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:39,940 Why did you just delete a text from Uncle Mitchell? 308 00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:44,069 I didn't! Shouldn't you be more worried that Haley has a nurse's uniform in her closet? 309 00:12:44,153 --> 00:12:47,656 I can only handle one thing at a time. 310 00:12:47,740 --> 00:12:49,241 Hey, Claire. 311 00:12:49,325 --> 00:12:52,411 Hey, Mitchell. Why would Alex delete a text from you off her phone? 312 00:12:52,495 --> 00:12:53,912 I'm not answering that question. 313 00:12:53,996 --> 00:12:56,582 People's phones are their own business. 314 00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:00,210 - What? - I got to go. 315 00:13:00,294 --> 00:13:01,837 - Give me your phone. - No. Why? 316 00:13:01,921 --> 00:13:04,339 Because you're texting someone, and you look very guilty right now. 317 00:13:04,423 --> 00:13:07,342 Or I'm playing Words with Friends with Longinus. 318 00:13:07,426 --> 00:13:10,804 None of those words better be "calf" or "implants." 319 00:13:10,888 --> 00:13:13,390 Oh, my gosh. Here. You know what? Take my phone. 320 00:13:13,474 --> 00:13:17,352 And admit that you don't trust me, your fiancé and co-father of your daughter. 321 00:13:17,436 --> 00:13:19,438 Go ahead. 322 00:13:19,522 --> 00:13:21,148 Push the buttons. 323 00:13:19,522 --> 00:13:21,148 I'm good. No, I'm fine. 324 00:13:21,232 --> 00:13:23,776 I trust you. 325 00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:41,960 Hey, guys. 326 00:13:42,044 --> 00:13:44,296 You want some red stuff that reminds you of wine? 327 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:46,507 Sure. 328 00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:46,507 Yep, I do. 329 00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:48,133 So, when's this exhibit open? 330 00:13:48,217 --> 00:13:50,677 I don't know. Maybe the details are on Jay's phone. 331 00:13:50,761 --> 00:13:53,931 But I hope not, because everything is very secret on there. 332 00:13:54,015 --> 00:13:56,475 Don't know if you caught that subtle cue. She's mad at me. 333 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,103 He did something very terrible that he doesn't want me to know about. 334 00:13:59,187 --> 00:14:01,105 "Very terrible"? 335 00:13:59,187 --> 00:14:01,105 Until you tell me what it is, 336 00:14:01,189 --> 00:14:03,315 I'm gonna think the worst possible thing. 337 00:14:03,399 --> 00:14:05,734 Like maybe you killed somebody. 338 00:14:05,818 --> 00:14:07,904 But you don't have the stomach for that, do you? 339 00:14:09,238 --> 00:14:11,323 Thank you so much for coming. 340 00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:14,827 I know how busy you all are with work and errands... 341 00:14:14,911 --> 00:14:17,329 and snarking about me on your cell phone. 342 00:14:17,413 --> 00:14:19,748 Let it go, Claire. Honestly, Phil, I don't know how you do it. 343 00:14:19,832 --> 00:14:22,251 I don't know how you do it. 344 00:14:19,832 --> 00:14:22,251 Compromise and compassion. 345 00:14:22,335 --> 00:14:23,710 Now– 346 00:14:22,335 --> 00:14:23,710 She wasn't really asking you. 347 00:14:23,794 --> 00:14:25,796 Here comes Luke. What do we say we were doing today? 348 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,757 - When has Luke ever showed any interest in what we do? - Okay, but be cool. 349 00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:31,343 If he finds out you were tracking his phone, he'll think we don't trust him. 350 00:14:31,427 --> 00:14:34,096 Ooh. Plus then I could never do it again. 351 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,098 Hey, guys! 352 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,098 Wassup? 353 00:14:36,182 --> 00:14:38,851 - How was your day? - It was fine. You know. 354 00:14:38,935 --> 00:14:41,395 We don't know. How would we know? 355 00:14:38,935 --> 00:14:41,395 We just mean, what did you do? 356 00:14:41,479 --> 00:14:44,189 Not like, "What did you do?" More like, "Hey, what'd you do?" 357 00:14:44,273 --> 00:14:45,691 You guys are acting weird. 358 00:14:45,775 --> 00:14:47,693 - No, we're not. You are. - What did you do today? 359 00:14:47,777 --> 00:14:49,278 We just stayed home. 360 00:14:47,777 --> 00:14:49,278 We went shopping. 361 00:14:49,362 --> 00:14:51,363 Online shopping at home for pants. We both needed pants. 362 00:14:51,447 --> 00:14:52,906 I told you he was gonna ask. 363 00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:56,702 Wait a minute. Was that your drone today? 364 00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:56,702 Were you spying on us? 365 00:14:56,786 --> 00:14:58,328 I'm sorry. Your mom made me do it. 366 00:14:58,412 --> 00:15:00,038 She thought you were smoking grass. 367 00:15:00,122 --> 00:15:02,166 Grass? Claire. 368 00:15:00,122 --> 00:15:02,166 No one says grass. 369 00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:04,626 I never said "grass." It's not that crazy an idea. 370 00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:07,546 We weren't smoking anything. 371 00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:07,546 Manny would never. 372 00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:10,048 Thank you, Mom. 373 00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:10,048 He's so judgy about those things. 374 00:15:10,132 --> 00:15:14,720 The only reason why I walk that stupid dog is so that I can smoke my cigars in peace. 375 00:15:14,804 --> 00:15:16,430 I can't believe you were spying on us. 376 00:15:16,514 --> 00:15:20,184 You have to stop being so suspicious, Claire. It's okay to trust people. 377 00:15:20,268 --> 00:15:22,978 Some people. Other people, who knows? 378 00:15:23,062 --> 00:15:24,730 You turn your back for one second, 379 00:15:24,814 --> 00:15:27,608 and they have a whole 'nother family on the bad side of town. 380 00:15:27,692 --> 00:15:30,527 You are my other family from the bad side of town. 381 00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:34,031 Look, I can't stand this all night. I loaned someone money, Gloria. 382 00:15:34,115 --> 00:15:37,659 I didn't consult you. I knew you'd be pissed. She's just a friend. 383 00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:41,788 "She"? Is this the woman that you've been dreaming about at night, 384 00:15:41,872 --> 00:15:45,626 that you've been making the sexy noises and saying, "Baby, baby?" 385 00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:47,419 What the hell are you talking about? No! 386 00:15:47,503 --> 00:15:49,129 Then prove it! Give me the phone! 387 00:15:49,213 --> 00:15:50,589 Honestly, you people– 388 00:15:50,673 --> 00:15:52,382 and by that, I mean straight people– 389 00:15:52,466 --> 00:15:53,926 are ridiculous! 390 00:15:54,010 --> 00:15:56,511 Everyone's entitled to a little bit of privacy. 391 00:15:56,595 --> 00:15:58,931 Says the guy who forced me to tell him our friend's secret. 392 00:15:59,015 --> 00:16:01,058 Okay, that's different. That was gossip. 393 00:16:01,142 --> 00:16:03,477 And gossip belongs to everyone. 394 00:16:01,142 --> 00:16:03,477 Okay. 395 00:16:03,561 --> 00:16:05,812 Just keep your nose out of other people's phones. 396 00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:07,689 You either trust 'em or you don't. 397 00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:07,689 Give me that. 398 00:16:07,773 --> 00:16:09,233 No. Give it back. 399 00:16:07,773 --> 00:16:09,233 Ha! Yes. 400 00:16:09,317 --> 00:16:11,610 Mitchell! 401 00:16:09,317 --> 00:16:11,610 No, but you can have mine, 'cause I have nothing to hide. 402 00:16:11,694 --> 00:16:12,819 I'll take that. 403 00:16:11,694 --> 00:16:12,819 Oh, my God. 404 00:16:12,903 --> 00:16:14,947 - Mom, no. Please, stop. Mm-mmm. 405 00:16:15,031 --> 00:16:17,033 Here. Here, wait. Let me help you! 406 00:16:20,745 --> 00:16:22,538 It's crazy, right? 407 00:16:25,624 --> 00:16:27,459 Ha-ha. No, I knew it. 408 00:16:27,543 --> 00:16:30,712 "L.O.L. Do you think Brett likes his coffee black or with calf-and-calf?" 409 00:16:30,796 --> 00:16:32,714 Okay, I admit it. I have a problem. 410 00:16:32,798 --> 00:16:34,716 But I only told one person. It was too juicy. 411 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,635 And Crispin said he wouldn't tell anyone. 412 00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,721 This is from Longinus. 413 00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,721 Oh, that lying Crispin. 414 00:16:39,805 --> 00:16:42,557 Give me that. I cannot believe he betrayed my trust. 415 00:16:42,641 --> 00:16:45,936 Now Pepper's chiming in. 416 00:16:42,641 --> 00:16:45,936 Jackals, all of 'em. 417 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:48,730 Oh, that Pepper. 418 00:16:48,814 --> 00:16:52,734 Oh, my G– 419 00:16:52,818 --> 00:16:55,320 Oh! 420 00:16:55,404 --> 00:16:58,365 Uncle Mitchell was helping you get me a birthday present? 421 00:16:58,449 --> 00:17:01,535 Yeah. I wanted to make you dinner and get you a nice bottle of wine, 422 00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:03,704 the one he served at New Year's you said you liked. 423 00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:05,914 Ooh, I did like that wine. 424 00:17:05,998 --> 00:17:08,709 I'm sorry I ruined the surprise. 425 00:17:05,998 --> 00:17:08,709 You should be. 426 00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:11,253 What did you think I was doing, anyways? Give me some credit. 427 00:17:11,337 --> 00:17:15,007 Oh. Oh, well, maybe we could just call it even since he typed, 428 00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:17,843 "I'm just surprised she remembered coming to my house that night." 429 00:17:17,927 --> 00:17:23,516 To which you responded, "Bahahahahahaha," with, like, five exclamation points. 430 00:17:25,017 --> 00:17:26,936 Seems fair. 431 00:17:25,017 --> 00:17:26,936 Mm-hmm. 432 00:17:30,564 --> 00:17:32,942 Did you find what you were looking for? 433 00:17:30,564 --> 00:17:32,942 No. 434 00:17:33,776 --> 00:17:35,694 She's a waitress at the club. 435 00:17:35,778 --> 00:17:38,071 Her boyfriend crashed her car, so I helped her, 436 00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:41,616 because we have that fun game where I order salad and she brings me french fries. 437 00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:43,577 But I never dreamt of her. 438 00:17:43,661 --> 00:17:45,162 Last night, I had a nightmare. 439 00:17:45,246 --> 00:17:47,789 Joe got out onto a ledge of a tall building. I couldn't get to him. 440 00:17:47,873 --> 00:17:52,461 I was very upset, and I think I might have cried a little in my sleep, 441 00:17:52,545 --> 00:17:56,006 which might have sounded like sex to you, which I don't love. 442 00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:58,050 But that's the baby I was talking about. 443 00:17:58,134 --> 00:18:01,261 Really? That's scary. 444 00:18:01,345 --> 00:18:05,558 Yes! Why in God's name would I need to dream about another woman? 445 00:18:07,059 --> 00:18:09,186 Now that you say it out loud, 446 00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:11,272 it does seem kind of crazy. 447 00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:16,652 I'm not proud of this, but the dream wasn't about Joe. 448 00:18:17,987 --> 00:18:21,031 It was about this little baby right here. That's right. 449 00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:25,661 You almost fell off a ledge, and Daddy was so scared. 450 00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:32,250 Oh, my gosh. It's us! 451 00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:34,336 All over the place. 452 00:18:35,337 --> 00:18:37,255 I don't know how I feel about this. 453 00:18:37,339 --> 00:18:40,175 Okay. Okay, now, see– Look how much you gossip. 454 00:18:40,259 --> 00:18:41,760 Haley managed to capture it on film. 455 00:18:41,844 --> 00:18:43,595 And look at you, smiling ear to ear. 456 00:18:43,679 --> 00:18:45,764 You know you love it when I give you the dirt. 457 00:18:45,848 --> 00:18:49,601 Oh, which reminds me, guess who got kicked out of a hotel bar... 458 00:18:49,685 --> 00:18:52,521 for making unwanted advances at the waitstaff? 459 00:18:52,605 --> 00:18:55,982 I don't want to know. It's none of my business. 460 00:18:52,605 --> 00:18:55,982 Okay. 461 00:18:56,066 --> 00:18:59,277 Jotham. Zaniel. Sal. Just tell me. 462 00:18:56,066 --> 00:18:59,277 I don't know. 463 00:18:59,361 --> 00:19:03,198 Good God, look at those lines on my face. When did I get so old? 464 00:19:03,282 --> 00:19:06,910 They're smile lines because you're holding your son who you love, 465 00:19:06,994 --> 00:19:10,622 who you had to protect in your dream. 466 00:19:10,706 --> 00:19:13,041 She is a great photographer, 467 00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:16,294 even though it's embarrassing that everyone's staring at my six-pack. 468 00:19:16,378 --> 00:19:20,006 She is really good. Oh. Have you seen my photo? 469 00:19:20,090 --> 00:19:22,134 Has Gloria seen this? Gloria seen what? 470 00:19:22,218 --> 00:19:25,470 I think I look good. 471 00:19:25,554 --> 00:19:27,514 Wow. She didn't even see me in there. 472 00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:28,640 No. 473 00:19:27,598 --> 00:19:28,640 No. 474 00:19:28,724 --> 00:19:30,725 Oh, my God! What are you guys doing here? 475 00:19:30,809 --> 00:19:33,979 - Alex invited us. - You? How did you know where this was? 476 00:19:34,063 --> 00:19:36,648 Uh, the flier fell out of your backpack. Liar. 477 00:19:36,732 --> 00:19:39,151 - Mom made me. - We came to be supportive. 478 00:19:39,235 --> 00:19:41,820 I told you not to come here. This is such a violation. 479 00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:43,864 She just did it to me too. She read my texts. 480 00:19:43,948 --> 00:19:46,324 That's nothing. She totally used a drone to spy on me. 481 00:19:46,408 --> 00:19:48,827 Use of the drone was completely justified. 482 00:19:48,911 --> 00:19:50,745 What is wrong with you? 483 00:19:48,911 --> 00:19:50,745 What are you talking about? 484 00:19:50,829 --> 00:19:53,540 All right, knock it off. 485 00:19:53,624 --> 00:19:55,667 You have no idea how hard it is to be a parent, 486 00:19:55,751 --> 00:19:57,544 to figure out what's going on with your kid... 487 00:19:57,628 --> 00:20:00,881 when all you get is a grunt or a "fine" or a flick of the hair. 488 00:20:00,965 --> 00:20:04,342 It's my job to protect you and make sure you're making good choices. 489 00:20:04,426 --> 00:20:08,346 And if I step over the line every now and again when I'm doing that, tough. 490 00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:11,683 Knowing you're safe is the only thing that lets me sleep at night. 491 00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:14,603 I thought it was the wine. 492 00:20:16,188 --> 00:20:18,523 - Congratulations, Haley. - For what? 493 00:20:18,607 --> 00:20:21,193 Someone just bought your photo of this beautiful lady. 494 00:20:18,607 --> 00:20:21,193 Ah. 495 00:20:21,277 --> 00:20:23,361 First one sold. 496 00:20:23,445 --> 00:20:25,405 Oh, my gosh! 497 00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:28,950 Someone paid for something that I made. Me! 498 00:20:29,034 --> 00:20:31,286 I am so psyched that we were here for this. 499 00:20:29,034 --> 00:20:31,286 Me too. 500 00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:33,371 Ah, now you're glad we're here, huh? 501 00:20:33,455 --> 00:20:35,708 I got to admit. That's a gorgeous picture of you. 502 00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:38,961 I'm in it too, Dad.