1 00:00:02,706 --> 00:00:04,374 Honey, Mitchell helped me pick out the shirt. 2 00:00:04,458 --> 00:00:06,000 You're gonna love it. 3 00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:07,919 Ooh, I wish I could pick you up some lip gloss, 4 00:00:08,003 --> 00:00:09,921 but we're already at the car. 5 00:00:10,005 --> 00:00:11,464 Okay, bye, honey. 6 00:00:13,175 --> 00:00:15,260 Yeah, but you were always good. 7 00:00:15,344 --> 00:00:17,262 I'm just glad you stuck with it. 8 00:00:17,346 --> 00:00:19,138 Seriously? 9 00:00:17,346 --> 00:00:19,138 What? 10 00:00:19,222 --> 00:00:22,725 - It's playing itself. - Well, I didn't know. 11 00:00:22,809 --> 00:00:26,854 You honestly thought that I just became a piano virtuoso, Dad? 12 00:00:26,938 --> 00:00:29,482 You've known me my whole life. Have you ever seen me take a lesson? 13 00:00:29,566 --> 00:00:32,151 I thought maybe you were self-taught. 14 00:00:29,566 --> 00:00:32,151 Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. 15 00:00:32,235 --> 00:00:34,153 Like when I taught myself to play the clarinet. 16 00:00:32,235 --> 00:00:34,153 Exactly. 17 00:00:34,237 --> 00:00:37,031 I never played the clarinet. 18 00:00:34,237 --> 00:00:37,031 Can we drop it? 19 00:00:37,115 --> 00:00:38,992 Let's go get an ice cream. 20 00:00:39,076 --> 00:00:41,912 What about my lactose intolerance? 21 00:00:39,076 --> 00:00:41,912 Oh, I'm not loving this game. 22 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:46,499 Oh, this sucks. My teacher gave me mononucleosis. 23 00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:49,085 As a parent, I feel I should ask about this. 24 00:00:49,169 --> 00:00:51,337 Slow down. It's not like she gets that many tugs on the line. 25 00:00:51,421 --> 00:00:55,216 It's for A.P. bio. We have to write a report about a disease, and I got the worst one. 26 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,176 This is a joke. 27 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,176 Actually, it's pretty serious. 28 00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:59,846 Back in college, I caught mono from my roommate Ling. 29 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:02,181 Served us right for fooling around. 30 00:01:02,265 --> 00:01:04,600 Never share a flute, kids. 31 00:01:04,684 --> 00:01:06,185 Can you drop me off at the library? 32 00:01:06,269 --> 00:01:08,604 Sorry. I'm meeting some friends at that coffee shop on Lake. 33 00:01:08,688 --> 00:01:11,774 You mean the one next to the library? 34 00:01:08,688 --> 00:01:11,774 That's a library? 35 00:01:11,858 --> 00:01:14,110 I thought it was a church for a religion that didn't allow makeup. 36 00:01:14,194 --> 00:01:16,029 When is the washing machine gonna get fixed? 37 00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:18,281 I'm wearing a swimsuit underneath my pants. 38 00:01:18,365 --> 00:01:20,450 Everybody's gonna have clean clothes soon. 39 00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:22,702 The repair guy's supposed to come today between 10:00 and 2:00. 40 00:01:22,786 --> 00:01:24,287 Oh! Honey, can you be here for that? 41 00:01:24,371 --> 00:01:26,956 Can I sit around in an empty house and wait for someone? 42 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,459 Baby, I'm a Realtor. I have a license for that. 43 00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:31,210 - You sure you don't mind? - Go. Run your errands. 44 00:01:31,294 --> 00:01:33,838 It'll give me a chance to get started on these dishes. 45 00:01:31,294 --> 00:01:33,838 Oh, good. 46 00:01:33,922 --> 00:01:35,381 All right. Come on, Luke. 47 00:01:35,465 --> 00:01:37,426 All right. See you guys later. 48 00:01:39,511 --> 00:01:41,763 Oh. More dishes than I thought. 49 00:01:41,847 --> 00:01:44,682 That lasagna's gonna be a tough one. 50 00:01:44,766 --> 00:01:47,560 Somebody's gonna need a scrub brush. 51 00:01:49,938 --> 00:01:51,440 Hello? 52 00:01:52,023 --> 00:01:53,525 What? 53 00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:57,236 No... way. 54 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,614 June 10, 1988. 55 00:01:59,698 --> 00:02:04,077 Carla Concannon and I spent the afternoon frolicking at the public pool. 56 00:02:04,161 --> 00:02:07,497 Later, at her house, things got private... 57 00:02:07,581 --> 00:02:11,417 while a 45 of Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better" played. 58 00:02:11,501 --> 00:02:14,379 It was my first time, her first time... 59 00:02:15,255 --> 00:02:16,339 with me. 60 00:02:16,423 --> 00:02:19,133 I always thought it'd be fun to own that 45. 61 00:02:19,217 --> 00:02:21,094 When the record store finally called that morning, 62 00:02:21,178 --> 00:02:23,679 I ran right down so I wouldn't miss the repairman. 63 00:02:23,763 --> 00:02:25,306 I had to have it. 64 00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:30,228 It was the chance to relive those magical three minutes and 42 seconds, 65 00:02:30,312 --> 00:02:32,230 which was also the length of the song. 66 00:02:32,314 --> 00:02:34,107 But then it dawned on me. 67 00:02:34,191 --> 00:02:38,487 I was cheating on my wife with the red-hot memory of another woman. 68 00:02:42,199 --> 00:02:44,159 I could not let Claire find out. 69 00:02:45,535 --> 00:02:47,453 I had to destroy the evidence. 70 00:02:47,537 --> 00:02:50,373 Luckily, I'm cool under pressure. 71 00:02:52,209 --> 00:02:54,461 Ow! 72 00:02:56,004 --> 00:02:58,006 Ow. 73 00:03:00,342 --> 00:03:02,343 What? No! 74 00:03:02,427 --> 00:03:05,388 When did he– Come on! 75 00:03:05,472 --> 00:03:07,515 There were a couple of snags, 76 00:03:07,599 --> 00:03:10,268 but I think I covered my tracks pretty well. 77 00:03:24,616 --> 00:03:26,909 I'm so sorry it took so long to get you these clothes. 78 00:03:26,993 --> 00:03:29,328 I left them in the back of my car and completely forgot about 'em. 79 00:03:29,412 --> 00:03:30,872 Sounds familiar. 80 00:03:30,956 --> 00:03:32,457 I was in the pharmacy for three minutes. 81 00:03:32,541 --> 00:03:35,418 You had a cracked window and a juice box. Let's retire that story. 82 00:03:35,502 --> 00:03:37,211 Can I wear this for the family photo? 83 00:03:37,295 --> 00:03:38,796 Oh, honey, that's adorable, 84 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,216 but Gloria wants us in jeans and a black T-shirt, classic and casual. 85 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,885 Then maybe afterwards, we can stop by... 86 00:03:43,969 --> 00:03:45,678 and change the scenery in a high school play. 87 00:03:45,762 --> 00:03:47,680 That is a really cute dress. 88 00:03:47,764 --> 00:03:49,474 Oh, yeah, thank you. Just got it yesterday. 89 00:03:49,558 --> 00:03:52,518 Really? It reminds me of something I gave you six months ago. 90 00:03:52,602 --> 00:03:54,729 Do you ever put her in the girls' hand-me-downs? 91 00:03:54,813 --> 00:03:56,355 Oh, yeah. All the time. 92 00:03:54,813 --> 00:03:56,355 Really? 93 00:03:56,439 --> 00:03:59,734 Because if my girls' old clothes aren't to your taste, 94 00:03:59,818 --> 00:04:01,694 I could always just... give 'em to somebody else. 95 00:04:01,778 --> 00:04:03,196 Okay, calm down, Claire. 96 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,364 Your voice is getting to that pitch that disturbs our cat. 97 00:04:06,950 --> 00:04:08,951 Hey. Oh, my God. 98 00:04:09,035 --> 00:04:10,828 You will not believe what Dad just said. 99 00:04:10,912 --> 00:04:12,371 So, we're at the mall, right? 100 00:04:10,912 --> 00:04:12,371 Mm-hmm. 101 00:04:12,455 --> 00:04:14,373 And there's a piano there. I sit down behind it. 102 00:04:14,457 --> 00:04:17,210 Come on, Mitchell. He's just not wired for compliments. 103 00:04:17,294 --> 00:04:18,753 I'm sure your playing was great. 104 00:04:18,837 --> 00:04:21,714 I don't play the piano. I've never taken a lesson. 105 00:04:21,798 --> 00:04:24,217 - Are you sure? - Oh, my God. My own family doesn't even know me. 106 00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:25,801 Mitchell, please. Don't be so sensitive. 107 00:04:25,885 --> 00:04:27,386 You don't see me pitching a fit... 108 00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:30,556 because Cam is too much of a snob to use our hand-me-downs. 109 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,892 Sn– I'm sorry. Snob? 110 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,892 Mm-hmm. 111 00:04:32,976 --> 00:04:35,937 I will have you know I come from simple farm folk. 112 00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:39,857 There is permanent dirt underneath these fingernails from working the soil. 113 00:04:39,941 --> 00:04:44,237 Really? I had no idea that repotting your orchids counted as "working the soil." 114 00:04:44,321 --> 00:04:47,490 They're in soil– You know what? I don't want to talk about this. 115 00:04:47,574 --> 00:04:50,076 I don't need to listen to this. I'm gonna go out and get some air. 116 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,496 - I know the feeling. - Retire it. Seriously. 117 00:04:55,165 --> 00:04:56,916 Does Joe look a little pale to you? 118 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,709 This whole country looks pale to me. 119 00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:01,546 I think he needs a little color for tonight's photograph. 120 00:05:01,630 --> 00:05:04,257 What do you think is the minimum age for spray tanning? 121 00:05:04,341 --> 00:05:08,761 Now that Joe is here and that his head is finally normal-shaped, 122 00:05:08,845 --> 00:05:11,431 I decided to take a new family portrait. 123 00:05:12,724 --> 00:05:15,101 - ! Hola! - How did it go at the mall? 124 00:05:15,185 --> 00:05:18,271 Bought a shirt, angered my son. Another successful outing. 125 00:05:18,355 --> 00:05:20,273 Ooh. I've been wanting to do this. 126 00:05:20,357 --> 00:05:22,650 Quick. What's the ring around an angel's head? 127 00:05:22,734 --> 00:05:24,485 - What? - Halo! 128 00:05:24,569 --> 00:05:26,195 You did the angel one! 129 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:29,156 Ordinarily, I'd be delighted, but this isn't gonna be one of our fun chats. 130 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,659 You mean like that time you called me when you saw that blimp? 131 00:05:31,743 --> 00:05:33,619 It was so low they waved back. 132 00:05:33,703 --> 00:05:36,706 I'd done a pretty good job eliminating all traces of that record, 133 00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:39,209 but there was still one loose end. 134 00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:53,472 You know earlier today, when we ran into each other on the street? 135 00:05:53,556 --> 00:05:54,974 I didn't see you. You didn't see me. 136 00:05:55,058 --> 00:05:57,685 Okay, so you're saying whatever either one of us... 137 00:05:57,769 --> 00:05:59,687 might have been doing will remain forever– 138 00:05:59,771 --> 00:06:02,565 I didn't see you. You didn't see me. 139 00:06:02,649 --> 00:06:05,026 Just to be c– Hello? 140 00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:07,903 Jay's so cool. He gets it. 141 00:06:07,987 --> 00:06:12,617 I didn't know what he was talking about, but I needed him to keep his trap shut. 142 00:06:12,701 --> 00:06:16,996 You see, lately, I may have been dabbling in something that... 143 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:21,417 strong, virile men like me aren't supposed to be dabbling in. 144 00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:26,172 And it wouldn't exactly fit my image if people found out I was considering entering... 145 00:06:26,256 --> 00:06:28,549 a certain adorable dog... 146 00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:30,343 in a dog show. 147 00:06:30,427 --> 00:06:33,012 Gloria thought I was out getting my tires rotated. 148 00:06:33,096 --> 00:06:36,390 Actually, I was buying Stella a decorative show collar. 149 00:06:36,474 --> 00:06:39,185 You know, just in case. 150 00:06:39,269 --> 00:06:42,439 I figure if she looks beautiful, she'll feel beautiful. 151 00:06:45,024 --> 00:06:47,109 Guess who we ran into at the library. 152 00:06:47,193 --> 00:06:49,236 - How would I know? I was here the whole time. - Sanjay Patel. 153 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,197 - He's got Crohn's disease. - No! 154 00:06:51,281 --> 00:06:53,616 I know. So lucky. He's totally going to win that science scholarship. 155 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:55,409 He should use it to find a cure for baldness, 156 00:06:55,493 --> 00:06:57,370 'cause that kid is 16 with a comb-over. 157 00:06:58,496 --> 00:07:00,790 That's it! I'm just gonna pick a new topic. 158 00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:03,417 I want a disease that everyone in the school is going to talk about. 159 00:07:03,501 --> 00:07:04,586 All right! 160 00:07:06,171 --> 00:07:07,380 Hey! 161 00:07:06,171 --> 00:07:07,380 Hi! Wow! 162 00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:09,006 Why are you standing there? 163 00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:09,006 'Cause I missed you. 164 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,716 I love you so much. 165 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,716 Oh! 166 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,010 Mwah. 167 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,010 Oh, wow. Love you too. 168 00:07:13,094 --> 00:07:14,720 How'd it go with the repair guy? 169 00:07:14,804 --> 00:07:16,889 "The repair guy came, but I missed him." 170 00:07:16,973 --> 00:07:18,432 "Why? What were you doing?" 171 00:07:18,516 --> 00:07:20,559 "Listening to a record." "What record?" 172 00:07:20,643 --> 00:07:22,436 "It's not important." "Phil!" 173 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,981 "The soundtrack to my first sexual experience that I think about from time to time. 174 00:07:26,065 --> 00:07:29,568 Honey, where are you going? Don't take the kids!" 175 00:07:29,652 --> 00:07:32,613 He didn't show up. 176 00:07:29,652 --> 00:07:32,613 What? That is so annoying. 177 00:07:32,697 --> 00:07:35,032 I know. Put away your groceries. I'll call him and reschedule. 178 00:07:35,116 --> 00:07:37,868 No, no, no, no, no. You are too nice. I am calling. 179 00:07:37,952 --> 00:07:40,579 - I am not resting till I get to the bottom of this. - It's no big deal. 180 00:07:40,663 --> 00:07:43,792 - It's not the first time I've been stood up by some guy. - Listen to your words, Phil. 181 00:07:45,502 --> 00:07:47,003 Yep. Yep. 182 00:07:50,048 --> 00:07:52,925 She called me a snob, Mitchell. 183 00:07:53,009 --> 00:07:58,848 Oh, I'm sorry if I don't rush to throw Lily in every bargain-bin rag Claire tosses our way. 184 00:07:58,932 --> 00:08:01,308 You're not really shedding the snob tag with that. 185 00:08:01,392 --> 00:08:04,311 Look, why don't we just put Lily in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight? 186 00:08:04,395 --> 00:08:06,731 - She'll see right through that. - No, you're thinking of Haley's shirts. 187 00:08:06,815 --> 00:08:10,025 No, I mean it'll look like we're doing it just because she brought it up. 188 00:08:10,109 --> 00:08:12,445 Well, I know. That's why I'm looking for a photo of Lily... 189 00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:15,322 in a hand-me-down to show Claire, but I can't seem to find one. 190 00:08:15,406 --> 00:08:17,658 By the way, I'm barely in any of these. 191 00:08:17,742 --> 00:08:19,785 Mitchell, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? 192 00:08:19,869 --> 00:08:22,163 Yes! Sometimes I feel like this family looks right past– 193 00:08:22,247 --> 00:08:24,623 You're suggesting that we stage a photograph, 194 00:08:24,707 --> 00:08:26,167 put Lily in some hand-me-downs, 195 00:08:26,251 --> 00:08:28,586 make it look like it's from the past– Christmas, say– 196 00:08:28,670 --> 00:08:30,129 just to prove Claire wrong? 197 00:08:30,213 --> 00:08:31,714 Simplicity itself. 198 00:08:31,798 --> 00:08:33,507 That's not remotely what I'm saying. 199 00:08:33,591 --> 00:08:36,219 Mitchell, don't second-guess yourself. It's simplicity itself. 200 00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:42,141 Yes. Once again, I would like to speak to a supervisor. 201 00:08:42,225 --> 00:08:45,144 Listen, if my husband said nobody came, nobody came. 202 00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:47,856 - Dad, it's your move. - No, I think I should just play it cool for now. 203 00:08:48,565 --> 00:08:50,524 I'm so sorry. 204 00:08:50,608 --> 00:08:53,778 Score! I got a disease that's rare and fun– narcolepsy. 205 00:08:53,862 --> 00:08:57,072 The company swears that the driver was here at 10:00. 206 00:08:57,156 --> 00:08:59,825 They're putting him through to me right now. I'm gonna chip away at his story. 207 00:08:59,909 --> 00:09:01,660 Mm-hmm. 208 00:08:59,909 --> 00:09:01,660 Let's see how you get out of this. 209 00:09:01,744 --> 00:09:03,829 I'm thinking. 210 00:09:01,744 --> 00:09:03,829 It's a neurological condition... 211 00:09:03,913 --> 00:09:06,415 where people under extreme stress actually fall asleep. 212 00:09:06,499 --> 00:09:08,125 It's like a way for the brain to escape. 213 00:09:08,209 --> 00:09:10,169 I bet he was doing something he shouldn't have. 214 00:09:10,253 --> 00:09:12,797 I'm just gonna let him keep talking till he makes a mistake. 215 00:09:12,881 --> 00:09:14,673 Everybody makes mistakes. 216 00:09:14,757 --> 00:09:17,676 - And the noose tightens. - Why were my headphones in the couch? 217 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,346 Oh, good. You do keep G.P.S. logs on all your drivers. 218 00:09:20,430 --> 00:09:21,889 There's no way out. 219 00:09:21,973 --> 00:09:23,474 Let me just write down your name. 220 00:09:23,558 --> 00:09:26,561 Hey, does anybody need a receipt from Flipside Records? 221 00:09:27,729 --> 00:09:29,855 Damn it! I didn't even see that! 222 00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:31,107 Wow. 223 00:09:32,734 --> 00:09:35,361 I see you're registered for tonight's show. First one, huh? 224 00:09:35,445 --> 00:09:36,779 Yeah. 225 00:09:36,863 --> 00:09:38,614 I'm not sure I'm comfortable... 226 00:09:38,698 --> 00:09:41,700 with that whole prancing-in-a-circle thing in front of everybody. 227 00:09:41,784 --> 00:09:43,536 Can someone else run her through her routine? 228 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,872 It has to be the owner. 229 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,872 I suppose that's the best. We have a rapport. 230 00:09:46,956 --> 00:09:48,415 All right. See you at 5:00. 231 00:09:48,499 --> 00:09:51,877 5:00. Uh, I got a family thing at 5:00. 232 00:09:51,961 --> 00:09:54,380 Do these things tend to start on time? 233 00:09:51,961 --> 00:09:54,380 Of course. 234 00:09:54,464 --> 00:09:55,923 It's not a cat show. 235 00:09:56,007 --> 00:09:58,384 Well, I better speed it along. Come on. 236 00:09:58,468 --> 00:10:01,470 I can't believe Mom made me take you here. 237 00:10:01,554 --> 00:10:04,390 This is my only black shirt, and Mom needs me to wash it. 238 00:10:01,554 --> 00:10:04,390 Wow. 239 00:10:04,474 --> 00:10:06,225 It's only when I see the less fortunate... 240 00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:08,352 that I realize how lucky my clothes are. 241 00:10:08,436 --> 00:10:10,604 All the machines are taken. We're gonna have to wait. 242 00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:13,649 Oh, I am not spending any more time in fluorescent lighting than I have to. 243 00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:16,402 You're gonna sneak your shirt in with someone else's load– like that guy's. 244 00:10:16,486 --> 00:10:18,071 Go that way. I'll distract him. 245 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,365 Excuse me. 246 00:10:21,449 --> 00:10:23,158 Haley? 247 00:10:21,449 --> 00:10:23,158 Oh, my God. Kevin. 248 00:10:23,242 --> 00:10:26,745 It's Keith. You really don't remember the guy you abandoned at Coachella? 249 00:10:26,829 --> 00:10:28,914 I didn't abandon you. 250 00:10:28,998 --> 00:10:31,625 I-I texted you. That deejay put me in a trance. 251 00:10:31,709 --> 00:10:34,545 Yeah. It's– It's almost like you were using me for tickets. 252 00:10:34,629 --> 00:10:37,673 That's crazy. 253 00:10:37,757 --> 00:10:41,260 Can you get those again, or was that just, like, a one-time thing with your uncle? 254 00:10:41,344 --> 00:10:43,137 It was a one-time thing. 255 00:10:43,221 --> 00:10:46,056 Okay, so, good seeing you. 256 00:10:43,221 --> 00:10:46,056 Yeah. 257 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:48,267 Remind me never to date you. 258 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:48,267 You wish. 259 00:10:48,351 --> 00:10:51,020 Please. I could totally get you. Like to see you try. 260 00:10:51,104 --> 00:10:53,439 All right. Lily, can you come in here, please? 261 00:10:55,608 --> 00:10:57,943 It's Christmas already? Yay! 262 00:10:58,027 --> 00:10:59,570 Ah. Probably should've prepped her. 263 00:10:59,654 --> 00:11:03,115 No, it's not actually Christmas. We're just gonna take a fun photo. 264 00:11:03,199 --> 00:11:06,160 Which I am going to be in because I am a member of the– Where is my stocking? 265 00:11:06,244 --> 00:11:08,245 Oh, relax. It's not in the shot. Neither are you. 266 00:11:08,329 --> 00:11:10,789 Here. I want you to take the picture from right over here. This way. 267 00:11:10,873 --> 00:11:13,083 Okay, great. Lily, I want you to put this on... 268 00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:15,544 and stand in front of the tree, and we'll pop a shot off. 269 00:11:15,628 --> 00:11:17,671 Ooh! Look at all the pretty presents! 270 00:11:17,755 --> 00:11:19,256 Those are just empty boxes. 271 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:21,342 You're killing me. 272 00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:25,346 I don't know which one it is! I didn't see him put it in! 273 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,390 Wait. I think I found it. 274 00:11:28,224 --> 00:11:30,392 He's coming! 275 00:11:28,224 --> 00:11:30,392 What? No! 276 00:11:30,476 --> 00:11:33,479 - What are you doing? - Uh, I-I saw that your laundry was done, 277 00:11:33,563 --> 00:11:36,815 and I was gonna fold it for you to make us even... 278 00:11:36,899 --> 00:11:39,026 for what you thought that I did that I didn't do. 279 00:11:39,110 --> 00:11:42,404 Even? I held your popcorn for eight hours waiting for you to come back. 280 00:11:42,488 --> 00:11:45,783 I walked all the parking areas twice, checked every medical tent. 281 00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:49,703 By the time I got back to my car, it had been broken into and the battery was gone. 282 00:11:49,787 --> 00:11:52,581 I had to trade my festival pass for a ride home in a horse trailer. 283 00:11:52,665 --> 00:11:58,003 But looks like someone got a concert T-shirt. 284 00:11:58,087 --> 00:12:01,465 Dad, is there anything bothering you that might be causing, 285 00:12:01,549 --> 00:12:03,759 I don't know, major psychological stress? 286 00:12:03,843 --> 00:12:05,928 No. I've been acting normally, haven't I? 287 00:12:06,012 --> 00:12:09,223 - Did something happen earlier today? - Uh, nothing at all. 288 00:12:09,307 --> 00:12:11,600 - Because you seem a little tense. - What? No, I don't! 289 00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:13,727 Stop badgering me! I love your mom! Let's listen to some music. 290 00:12:16,606 --> 00:12:18,107 Dad! 291 00:12:16,606 --> 00:12:18,107 What? 292 00:12:18,191 --> 00:12:20,442 You fell asleep. It's like the fifth time today. 293 00:12:20,526 --> 00:12:23,529 I think it has something to do with that guy not showing up to fix the washing machine. 294 00:12:23,613 --> 00:12:25,364 Well, that's not exactly what happened. 295 00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:28,450 You snuck out to buy "Nobody Does It Better" from Flipside Records, and he showed up? 296 00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:31,203 That's more exactly what happened. How do you know all this? 297 00:12:31,287 --> 00:12:32,997 I've been watching you all day. 298 00:12:33,081 --> 00:12:35,207 I think the guilt from that has been causing you to fall asleep. 299 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:37,627 - So you know about Carla? - I do now. 300 00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:41,214 Dad! 301 00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:41,214 What is happening? 302 00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:47,970 I was skeptical about the jeans and T-shirt, but I like it. 303 00:12:48,054 --> 00:12:50,431 Any chance the photographer could fire off a couple solo shots? 304 00:12:50,515 --> 00:12:53,642 Look at the bottom of Joe's face. 305 00:12:53,726 --> 00:12:55,227 What happened? Did you leave him in the sun? 306 00:12:55,311 --> 00:12:58,772 No, I took him out for five minutes to give him a little color. 307 00:12:58,856 --> 00:13:01,567 I must have not closed the visor all the way down. 308 00:13:01,651 --> 00:13:04,111 Why is it so important to you that he has color? 309 00:13:04,195 --> 00:13:06,405 Because we're sending this picture to our family in Colombia, 310 00:13:06,489 --> 00:13:09,116 and I have a son that doesn't even look Colombian. 311 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,995 Now they're gonna look at this picture, and they're gonna think that I am a terrible mother, 312 00:13:13,079 --> 00:13:15,497 that I can't even take care of my own child. 313 00:13:15,581 --> 00:13:18,208 I think your reputation is set. I can still do this with my arm... 314 00:13:18,292 --> 00:13:19,960 'cause I slept in a sink till I was three. 315 00:13:20,044 --> 00:13:21,378 Halo! 316 00:13:21,462 --> 00:13:23,338 People are here. I'll deal with Joe. 317 00:13:21,462 --> 00:13:23,338 Okay. 318 00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:27,176 Come on, buddy. Oh. Come on. 319 00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:29,094 Hola. Claire is on her way. 320 00:13:29,178 --> 00:13:30,763 Dad, you have to confess to Mom. 321 00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:33,432 Clearing your conscience is the only way to make this stop. 322 00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:33,432 Really? 323 00:13:33,516 --> 00:13:36,101 I hope so, or else I have to rewrite the whole end of my paper. 324 00:13:36,185 --> 00:13:38,103 Just the two of you? Where's the rest? 325 00:13:38,187 --> 00:13:40,647 I had hoped to get this picture thing wrapped up by 5:00. 326 00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:42,691 They're all coming separately. 327 00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:42,691 Cam, do me a favor. 328 00:13:42,775 --> 00:13:44,401 Call Mitchell and light a fire under him. 329 00:13:44,485 --> 00:13:47,321 I'm right here, Dad. 330 00:13:44,485 --> 00:13:47,321 Oh. Good. I didn't see you come in. 331 00:13:47,405 --> 00:13:50,699 You opened the door for me. You thanked me for bringing a bottle of Chardonnay. 332 00:13:50,783 --> 00:13:52,618 Doesn't sound like me. 333 00:13:52,702 --> 00:13:54,453 Hey, guys. We're here. 334 00:13:52,702 --> 00:13:54,453 Finally! 335 00:13:54,537 --> 00:13:56,330 Let's do this. Luke, where's your black shirt? 336 00:13:56,414 --> 00:13:58,957 - Right here. I'll get changed. - All right. Shake a leg. 337 00:13:59,041 --> 00:14:00,834 Hey, sweetie. - Hi! 338 00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:02,461 Hey. 339 00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:02,461 Hello. 340 00:14:02,545 --> 00:14:05,339 Hey, Lily, be careful. Don't get anything on that beautiful outfit. 341 00:14:05,423 --> 00:14:07,132 Recognize it? Look familiar? 342 00:14:07,216 --> 00:14:10,385 Yes, I do, but I hardly think that putting her in one of Alex's hand-me-downs... 343 00:14:10,469 --> 00:14:12,137 proves anything after I pitched a fit. 344 00:14:12,221 --> 00:14:15,641 First of all, I think it's really healthy that you do admit it was a fit. 345 00:14:15,725 --> 00:14:19,019 But if you need further proof, I'm sure I could find a photograph over here. 346 00:14:19,103 --> 00:14:20,145 Sure. Go ahead. 347 00:14:20,229 --> 00:14:23,315 Mm-hmm. 348 00:14:20,229 --> 00:14:23,315 No me. No me. No me. 349 00:14:23,399 --> 00:14:25,150 Ah. There we are. 350 00:14:25,234 --> 00:14:27,611 Christmas morning last year. 351 00:14:25,234 --> 00:14:27,611 Oh, my God. 352 00:14:27,695 --> 00:14:30,489 Oh, it's Alex's old pajamas! 353 00:14:30,573 --> 00:14:32,449 I'm so sorry. I owe you an apology. 354 00:14:32,533 --> 00:14:33,992 Sometimes I can be really– 355 00:14:34,076 --> 00:14:35,577 What's that? 356 00:14:35,661 --> 00:14:37,538 Uh, the calendar open to December, 357 00:14:37,622 --> 00:14:40,499 the half-eaten cookies for Santa Claus, the nibbled-on carrots for reindeer? 358 00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,084 I don't know. 359 00:14:42,168 --> 00:14:45,337 No, that looks like last month's Vanity Fair. 360 00:14:45,421 --> 00:14:47,339 Oh, well, you know, every month's "Young Hollywood." 361 00:14:47,423 --> 00:14:49,842 Mmm, and didn't Lily just lose that tooth? 362 00:14:49,926 --> 00:14:52,511 It's still there. It's just dirty. Christmas morning chocolates. 363 00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:54,888 Uh, and I am quite sure that's a reflection of Mitchell... 364 00:14:54,972 --> 00:14:57,099 in the clothes he was wearing this morning. 365 00:14:57,183 --> 00:14:58,934 Oh, yay, I finally made it into a picture. 366 00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:01,436 Just couldn't change, could you? 367 00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:01,436 You are a snob. 368 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,147 Okay, you know what? It hardly takes a snob... 369 00:15:03,231 --> 00:15:06,066 to recognize the clothes you put your children in are uninspired at best. 370 00:15:06,150 --> 00:15:08,652 Claire, Cam, enough. Oh, really? 371 00:15:08,736 --> 00:15:10,362 Everybody in this family has good taste. 372 00:15:10,446 --> 00:15:13,282 It's just different. It's causing too many fights. 373 00:15:13,366 --> 00:15:17,995 That's why today I just put everybody in a simple T-shirt and jeans outfit. 374 00:15:18,079 --> 00:15:22,040 There's a new rule from now on. Nobody gives clothes to anyone else's children. 375 00:15:22,124 --> 00:15:24,209 Well, I think that's probably for the best. 376 00:15:22,124 --> 00:15:24,209 Okay. 377 00:15:24,293 --> 00:15:29,882 Thank God I don't have to spend one more of Joe's birthdays with a funny smile on my face. 378 00:15:29,966 --> 00:15:32,009 Thank you, Cam. He loves it. 379 00:15:32,093 --> 00:15:34,095 Twinsies! 380 00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:36,889 Yay! 381 00:15:36,973 --> 00:15:39,016 Okay, everybody, it's picture time. 382 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,851 Where's Luke? 383 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,851 Right here. 384 00:15:40,935 --> 00:15:43,061 Honey, what are you wearing? Is that a girl's shirt? 385 00:15:43,145 --> 00:15:45,355 I guess I grabbed the wrong one from the Laundromat. 386 00:15:45,439 --> 00:15:47,649 If I'm being honest, I don't hate the way it fits. 387 00:15:47,733 --> 00:15:50,652 It must be that guy's girlfriend's shirt. 388 00:15:50,736 --> 00:15:53,989 Is it bad that that makes him more interesting to me? 389 00:15:50,736 --> 00:15:53,989 Yes. Stay away. 390 00:15:54,073 --> 00:15:55,908 Don't worry about Luke. We'll stick him in the back row. 391 00:15:55,992 --> 00:15:58,118 Not everyone can look their best in the picture. 392 00:15:58,202 --> 00:16:00,621 Joe's ready. 393 00:16:00,705 --> 00:16:03,665 - What did you do to him? - You want him to look more Colombian. 394 00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:05,834 What's more Colombian than the Colombian flag? 395 00:16:05,918 --> 00:16:07,085 He's perfect. 396 00:16:07,169 --> 00:16:08,670 Not a banner day for my male heirs. 397 00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:12,507 Claire, you're in the back. Phil, you're behind Claire. 398 00:16:12,591 --> 00:16:15,469 No rabbit ears. I don't want you messing around behind Claire's back. 399 00:16:16,429 --> 00:16:17,554 Dad. 400 00:16:16,429 --> 00:16:17,554 Cameron, Lily! 401 00:16:17,638 --> 00:16:19,097 Come on in. It's picture time. 402 00:16:19,181 --> 00:16:20,682 Honey. 403 00:16:19,181 --> 00:16:20,682 Mm-hmm. 404 00:16:20,766 --> 00:16:22,267 There's something I need to tell you. Mmm. 405 00:16:22,351 --> 00:16:25,520 Um, you know how you can treasure special moments in your past... 406 00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:27,940 that in no way diminish the special moments in your present? 407 00:16:28,024 --> 00:16:29,775 Yeah, sweetheart. It's called having a memory. 408 00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:31,944 Okay, I wouldn't mind a friendlier tone as I move through this. 409 00:16:32,028 --> 00:16:33,737 What did you do? 410 00:16:32,028 --> 00:16:33,737 Up, up, up, up, ah! 411 00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:35,280 No, that's the wrong way, sweetheart. 412 00:16:35,364 --> 00:16:37,199 What fell out of Lily's pocket? 413 00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:41,328 Is that a diamond ring? Ha. That'll go great with your shirt. 414 00:16:41,412 --> 00:16:44,456 It looks real. 415 00:16:41,412 --> 00:16:44,456 It is real. 416 00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:48,460 A small occlusion, but very good color. This is Claire's. 417 00:16:48,544 --> 00:16:50,587 No. Claire's got hers on. Yeah. 418 00:16:50,671 --> 00:16:52,464 Ay, Phil, please. You cannot tell the difference... 419 00:16:52,548 --> 00:16:55,926 between this beautiful but small diamond... 420 00:16:56,010 --> 00:17:00,389 and that chunk of glass that should have made her finger fall off weeks ago? 421 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,434 I feel like I am getting you in trouble. 422 00:17:04,518 --> 00:17:07,646 - Picture time! - What's happening? 423 00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:09,815 Okay, don't be mad. Um– 424 00:17:10,816 --> 00:17:12,442 I lost my real ring a few months ago, 425 00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:15,696 and I just realized it must have fallen in the box of clothes I gave to Lily. 426 00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:19,574 Why'd you take it off? 427 00:17:15,780 --> 00:17:19,574 Well, I got pulled over, 428 00:17:19,658 --> 00:17:23,870 and I wanted to flirt my way out of the ticket by pretending I was single... 429 00:17:23,954 --> 00:17:26,498 and it worked, and I-I kind of liked it. 430 00:17:26,582 --> 00:17:30,711 And then I felt so guilty about liking it that I just wanted to erase the whole thing. 431 00:17:30,795 --> 00:17:33,839 So you lied? 432 00:17:30,795 --> 00:17:33,839 Yes. I lied. I'm sorry. 433 00:17:33,923 --> 00:17:36,925 Does that make me a terrible person? 434 00:17:33,923 --> 00:17:36,925 No, no. 435 00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:39,094 Are you kidding me? 436 00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:39,094 No? 437 00:17:39,178 --> 00:17:42,889 We've been married for a long time. Of course we're gonna have our little secrets. 438 00:17:42,973 --> 00:17:44,808 The important thing– 439 00:17:42,973 --> 00:17:44,808 Mm-hmm? 440 00:17:44,892 --> 00:17:47,144 is that we know the difference between a harmless indulgence– 441 00:17:47,228 --> 00:17:49,522 Mm-hmm. 442 00:17:47,228 --> 00:17:49,522 and a real indescre– 443 00:17:51,107 --> 00:17:52,108 Gloria? 444 00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:54,526 - Left. - Thank you. 445 00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:57,362 Okay, it's picture time! Everybody, hurry up. 446 00:17:57,446 --> 00:18:00,032 Get in your positions. All right? 447 00:18:00,116 --> 00:18:02,117 All right, I think that everyone is here. 448 00:18:02,201 --> 00:18:05,203 Okay, ready? And smile! 449 00:18:05,287 --> 00:18:06,747 Are you kidding me? 450 00:18:05,287 --> 00:18:06,747 Oh. 451 00:18:06,831 --> 00:18:09,541 Nobody noticed I wasn't here. What does it take with you people? 452 00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:12,919 Ay, Joe, my baby, are you okay? 453 00:18:13,003 --> 00:18:15,839 Yeah, yeah, maybe that's what it takes for you to pay attention to me. 454 00:18:15,923 --> 00:18:18,050 Throw a temper tantrum like Joe. I could just... 455 00:18:18,134 --> 00:18:20,218 throw a big... temper tantrum that– 456 00:18:20,302 --> 00:18:22,471 Or make a mess of everything and– 457 00:18:32,773 --> 00:18:36,485 I feel like that was aimed at me. You want to talk about it? 458 00:18:36,569 --> 00:18:39,321 Or I could just play some piano. 459 00:18:36,569 --> 00:18:39,321 So I'm in the ballpark. 460 00:18:41,031 --> 00:18:46,578 Look. If it seems sometimes like we don't notice you, 461 00:18:46,662 --> 00:18:51,416 maybe that is because we are focused on our own stupid problems, 462 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,752 and you're so steady. 463 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,752 Oh, you mean boring. 464 00:18:53,836 --> 00:18:54,920 No. 465 00:18:53,836 --> 00:18:54,920 Yeah. 466 00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:56,421 Calm. 467 00:18:56,505 --> 00:18:58,507 Because you live your life the way you want to. 468 00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:02,969 In fact, you inspired me recently. 469 00:19:03,053 --> 00:19:04,346 How so? 470 00:19:03,053 --> 00:19:04,346 Well– 471 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:09,559 Fine. 472 00:19:09,643 --> 00:19:11,186 I've been going through this thing lately. 473 00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:15,190 It all started when I noticed a group of guys in the corner in the park. 474 00:19:15,274 --> 00:19:19,319 And, uh, honestly, when I first found out what they were doing, I thought it was kind of weird, 475 00:19:19,403 --> 00:19:21,697 but I found I kept thinking about it. 476 00:19:22,698 --> 00:19:24,157 And I thought I'd give it a whirl. 477 00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:25,742 O-Okay. Go on. 478 00:19:25,826 --> 00:19:28,245 I think you know where I'm going with this, but– 479 00:19:28,329 --> 00:19:30,122 One of the older guys showed me the ropes. 480 00:19:30,206 --> 00:19:34,876 Next thing I know, I'm hanging out at that park in that corner every day and loving it. 481 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,628 Uh-huh. 482 00:19:36,712 --> 00:19:38,839 But I must have also got some shame about it, 483 00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:41,591 because it feels good when I'm doing it, but– 484 00:19:41,675 --> 00:19:43,135 Is that me now? 485 00:19:43,219 --> 00:19:45,178 A guy with a show dog? 486 00:19:45,262 --> 00:19:48,974 There it is! Okay, see, I-I knew what it wasn't. I just wasn't sure what it was. 487 00:19:49,058 --> 00:19:52,644 In fact, there's a show right now, but– Ah, I'm not gonna go. 488 00:19:52,728 --> 00:19:54,312 No, no. 489 00:19:54,396 --> 00:19:56,773 D– I could tell this is important to you. 490 00:19:56,857 --> 00:19:58,316 No. 491 00:19:56,857 --> 00:19:58,316 You should go. You should go. 492 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,194 I don't want to sneak out, and I don't want people to know about it. 493 00:20:01,278 --> 00:20:03,071 Dad. 494 00:20:03,155 --> 00:20:06,992 A wise man once told me, "I don't get it, 495 00:20:07,076 --> 00:20:10,913 but if that's who you are, don't you dare be ashamed of it." 496 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:15,750 I did handle that kind of well. 497 00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:18,796 Yeah, yeah, well. 498 00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:18,796 And it wasn't easy. 499 00:20:20,422 --> 00:20:22,757 I just never pictured my kid a lawyer. 500 00:20:24,134 --> 00:20:26,303 It's scary to let people see the real you, 501 00:20:26,387 --> 00:20:28,847 even when those people are your own family. 502 00:20:28,931 --> 00:20:32,434 But aren't they the ones we should be least worried about? 503 00:20:32,518 --> 00:20:34,644 The ones who will love us without judging, 504 00:20:34,728 --> 00:20:37,105 who forgive our faults and celebrate our imperfections, 505 00:20:37,189 --> 00:20:40,233 maybe even encourage us to let our true selves shine through. 506 00:20:40,317 --> 00:20:42,444 Wait, wait. Hang on. Wait, wait. 507 00:20:44,071 --> 00:20:45,990 Okay. 508 00:20:48,951 --> 00:20:51,119 - I think you look beautiful. - I look old. 509 00:20:51,203 --> 00:20:53,163 All my cousins are going to see this. 510 00:20:53,247 --> 00:20:56,000 Click the button that makes my wrinkles go away. 511 00:20:59,962 --> 00:21:02,672 What happened? - Nothing. 512 00:21:02,756 --> 00:21:04,508 It's not nothing. You're limping! 513 00:21:04,592 --> 00:21:06,885 Were you trying to do the Russian dance again? 514 00:21:06,969 --> 00:21:08,720 It was just something stupid I was trying out, 515 00:21:08,804 --> 00:21:11,389 and I don't even know why, since it's basically impossible. 516 00:21:11,473 --> 00:21:12,974 Gloria. Gloria! 517 00:21:13,058 --> 00:21:16,019 Check it out. Is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen? 518 00:21:16,103 --> 00:21:17,729 She did that on her first try. 519 00:21:17,813 --> 00:21:21,233 He loves it too. 520 00:21:17,813 --> 00:21:21,233 Oh, sure. Rub it in, Joe. 521 00:21:21,317 --> 00:21:24,110 Attagirl! Here she comes this way. 522 00:21:24,194 --> 00:21:26,655 - Now she's just showing off. - Both ways.