LEFT IN OUR MAILBOX ...
THAT'S LIKE
ISN'T IT?
IT'S GETTING
OH, RELAX : IT'S PROBABLY
WHO'S VICTOR?
OH, BECAUSE I KNEW YOU'D NEVER
HEY, MAYBE IT'S DYLAN
MM.
SO, VICTOR :
IT'S A CLOSED DOOR?
MAYBE IT'S NOT A GUY
WHO'S IN LOVE WITH HALEY.
OH, THANK YOU:
MAYBE IT'S A GUY
WHO'S OBSESSED WITH HALEY
BE FOR HALEY?
HALEY ISN'T
THOSE FLOWERS COULD BE FOR ME?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHAT?
YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
YOU CAN'T JUST DROP THAT
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?
YOU'D GET ALL WEIRD
AND ASK
WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?
HOW DID YOU MEET HIM?
I'LL SHOW YOU A PHOTO.
BUT NOW MY PHONE'S NOT WORKING.
HMM.
OH! OH, HERE HE IS:
FLYER?
THAT'S HIM
PONDERING THE PORK CHOPS?
WHAT'S TO PONDER?
THEY'RE $4.59 A POUND.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY IS HE IN THIS?
HE'S A MODEL, MOM.
OH, WAIT, WAIT:
YOUR BOYFRIEND'S A MODEL?
HOW DID YOU MEET HIM?
THERE'S NOT MUCH CROSSOVER
IT'S A REALLY LONG STORY.
I...
OH, WELL :
IT'S HIM.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE DIDN'T TELL US ABOUT HIM.
OH, THAT'S
WHAT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
BUT SHE CAN'T,
HE'S IN TODAY'S PAPER?
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAY IT.
SHE'S MAKING IT UP.
MM.
WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
MAYBE SHE'S UPSET
OH, AND REMEMBER WHEN
SHE COULDN'T GET A
DATE FOR HOMECOMING?
SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T CARE,
MM-HMM. OH, HONEY:
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?
OH, I-
SO I DIDN'T REALLY...
DON'T BELIEVE HER?
I'M GONNA TELL HER TO INVITE
AND I'LL BE SERVING A BIG,
OLD PLATTER OF "I TOLD YOU SO."
OH, GREAT:
AND I'LL INVITE MY BOYFRIEND,
BIGFOOT!
I GOT
TA-DA!
BEHIND THE COUCH?
WE'RE SHOWING LILY
IT'S REALLY A GIFT
OHH!
WHEN WE KNOW WE'RE NOT DIRTY.
THAT'S WHY
IN YOUR BACK POCKET?
YEP.
BUP-UP-UP!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
BUT YOU'RE PUTTING ON A BOW TIE
FOR SOME DOG'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
IT'S ALL GOOD FUN.
THE BIRNBAUMS CAN'T HAVE KIDS.
WHY ARE YOU SO CRANKY?
RIPPED ME OFF FOR 40 BUCKS
ON YOUR DRESSER?
OH, MAN.
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP?
I'D HAVE HAD
WHERE'D YOU GO TO SCHOOL ...
"GUYS AND DOLLS"?
FOR THE PARTY?
IT'S MY FIRST TIME
WE WON'T BE LATE.
BUT DON'T EAT THE DEVILED EGGS
BECAUSE THEY'RE
FOR TOMORROW'S PICNIC.
SOMEBODY'S CAT GOING TO COLLEGE?
NO, SOME OF GLORIA'S FRIENDS
IT'S ACTUALLY
YES, THEY'RE VERY DECENT,
AT MIRABELLE'S FAKE WEDDING.
ZOOBOO!
NO, YOU'VE ALREADY WATCHED
"ZOOBOO" SIX TIMES TODAY.
WE'RE GONNA WATCH
IF NOT,
HE'S GONNA FREAK OUT.
AND HE BIT
HI, UH, UM...
B... AH!
YES, YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T
DIDN'T YOU?
SO, HOW'S
YOUR FIRST WEEK BEEN?
I'M GETTING A DIVORCE.
OH. GOD.
UM... SO...
IT'S REALLY HARD TO BE ALONE,
YOU KNOW?
HEY, YOU KNOW WHO ELSE
14 MONTHS:
OH, GOSH:
SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD TO GET
HUH?
WE HAVEN'T HAD SEX
IN 14 MONTHS:
20 YEARS:
THAT'S A NICE,
OHH!
LIKE THAT'S A REASON TO LEAVE?
GAH!
ALL HIS HABITS AND REQUESTS!
GOD! I'VE DONE MORE PADDLING
THAN LEWIS AND CLARK!
YOU OUT THERE?
OH, SHE'S GONE.
I-IF THERE'S ANYTHING
COULD I STAY WITH YOU?
WHAT'S THAT?
SO, LARRY'S ALLOWED
TO SIT ON THE COUCH AND I'M NOT?
OH, UH,
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
HELLO?
Hey, Cam.
SO, LISTEN: YOU REMEMBER
MY ... MY NEW FRIEND
RIGHT?
WHO?
THAT'S RIGHT ...
OH!
UH, SO,
OH, MY GOSH:
OH,
SHOOT AND DARN IT!
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
AHH, THERE'S NO WAY
HUH?
Fight your instincts.
OKAY.
But I ...
I am being nice!
OKAY?
I ... I-I-
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
THAT'S WHY YOU ASKED HER.
YOU'RE JUST SCARED.
NO, NO, IT WAS
THAT'S RIGHT.
DINNER AT 7:30.
TOO.
SO... HUH?
OH!
YOU'RE THE BEST!
SO ...
MM!
MM.
THAT'S OKAY.
WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE
OR FOR PEOPLE?
I HOPE IT'S FOR PEOPLE.
I'VE HAD FOUR OF THEM.
ARE YOU HAVING FUN?
AY, YES.
OH, GUMDROP: LOOK!
STELLA'S HERE!
LET'S GET A PICTURE.
PUPPARAZZI!
HOW GREAT IS THAT?
SHE'LL NIP YOU.
O-
NOW, REALLY GET TIGHT
NO! NO, NO, NO!
ENOUGH.
OH, GLORIA ...
I ...
YOU'RE NOT A DOG PERSON.
NO, I'M OKAY
I'M JUST NOT
IT'S JUST FUN.
THERE'S A BUFFET
JAY,
BUT ...
NOW,
DO YOU THINK IT'S FAIR
TO USE THE WORD "CRAZY"
I-I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME,
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH:
GOD, WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS
LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT MAN?
FUNNY!
WHAT?
THAT'S WHAT BEING NICE
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
I'M JUST
I DON'T KNOW IF I'D USE
THE WORD "HERO," BUT...
"HERO"?
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME.
OH, GOD.
OH!
HEY,
YOU GUYS HAVE A CAT?
UM, HOW ABOUT I FRESHEN UP
HUH?
OH, NO.
UM...
CAM, WHAT
HERE?
YOU KNOW?
OH,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE HAVEN'T EVEN GIVEN BRENDA
A TOUR OF OUR GA... UH, GARAGE:
OUR ...
OH, NO.
I DON'T LIKE GARAGES.
THAT'S WHERE DOUG
OH, GEEZ:
WHOO! YOU KNOW?
AND I'M LIKE...
MORE THAN A PERSON?
MM.
OUR SHED?
THERE'S A SHED.
I'M A LITTLE MESSY.
DOUG!
LIFE'S A LITTLE MESSY.
MY ...
BUT...
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT SURPRISED.
SHE'S LOSING A LOT OF FLUIDS.
IT'S AS IF DOUG WAS OVER HERE.
I KNOW.
ALEC!
HEY.
IS WORTH BREAKING MINE?
IT'S KIND OF WORTH IT.
HE CAN DO
YEAH. I-I-
I'M SORRY I'M LASHING OUT.
YOU'RE MAKING THIS WORSE.
HEY.
I KNEW YOU COULDN'T LEAVE
WITHOUT ONE LAST KISS!
WE CAN WORK THIS OUT!
I'M ... I'M ... I'M GONNA
AREN'T I?
UH, I WAS HOPING YOU COULD
YEAH.
SO, HONEY:
WE'VE BEEN TALKING,
MM-HMM.
HE WAS HERE?
OH, LOOK AT THAT:
OH, IT LOOKS
LIKE "ALEX."
THE "C" JUST GOT SMUDGED.
BUT THE "C" GOT SMUDGED.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TEXT HIM
FOR DINNER?
I CAN'T.
MM.
OH, NO.
HE'S MOVING TO AFRICA.
I'M SO SORRY.
OH, DON'T WORRY.
OKAY:
AY, DIOS MÃ­O, MANNY:
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH JOE?
HE'S A DRUG ADDICT.
OF MIND-LIQUEFYING "ZOOBOO,"
I'D SERIOUSLY SUGGEST
A 12-
AY, NO, JOE.
NO MORE "ZOOBOO."
AY, NO.
HE'S GOING TO
WHY ARE YOU HOME?
BUSTER'S PARTY
I DON'T KNOW WHY JAY
I DON'T KNOW.
IS HIS WAY
IT'S HARD.
YOU DON'T LIKE GOLF OR SCOTCH
IT'S TRUE.
I DON'T LIKE IKE.
IT'S NOT LIKE JAY
DOESN'T GET OUT OF
HE'S GOING TO YOUR
YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S THE WRONG COUNTRY.
BUT HE'S SWEET.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GUYS WANT TO COME?
AT BUSTER'S BRIS.
LET'S GET THIS WOMAN
OUT OF
I DON'T KNOW
SO, NICE BATH? AHH.
OH, YEAH, THE BEST:
I'M SO READY FOR BED.
OH, WELL: WE'LL GET AT IT
NO, NO, NO,
I JUST DON'T FEEL
OH, WELL:
AHH!
THAT'S A SMALL CLOUD.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S DECEPTIVELY COMFY.
OH.
IF I DON'T
REALLY?
OH, OKAY:
SO, THERE YOU ARE:
I'M NOT ... I'M PRETTY SURE
THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.
NO, NO, THIS WILL BE FINE:
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
THERE WE GO.
OH, MY.
SEE YOU
MY HEAD'S ...
OH.
WHAT WE WERE THINKING?
HERE.
OKAY.
HERE'S AN IDEA.
YOUR COUCH IN THE LIVING ROOM?
UH...
I'M SHAKING.
WHY?
NO, SHE'S MAKING
YOU'RE BACK?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I'M SORRY. I LOVE YOU,
YOU DON'T THINK
IT'S CRAZY ANYMORE?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
BUT MANNY'S RIGHT.
IN EACH OTHER'S ACTIVITIES.
WOW.
SO, THIS WAS YOUR IDEA?
IT'S SORT OF
THIS IS GREAT!
WE'LL GRAB YOU AND YOUR MOM
OH.
I DIDN'T DO MUCH.
THAT'S ALL.
I WANTED HER TO LEAVE!
WHAT?
"MAYBE WE SHOULD
DO SOME THINGS SEPARATELY."
BUT NOW
I'VE GOT NO CHIP.
HEY, HOW ABOUT NEXT TIME
YOU CAN'T BE CLUED IN.
YOU'RE A PATSY.
HEY, UM, THERE WAS TALK
OF AN ICE-CREAM BONE?
TOO.
USE YOUR HEAD!
YOU ALONE?
IN HERE?
DO YOU?
FOR WHAT?
WHEN WE DIDN'T THINK
I GUESS.
WHAT WE'RE WORRIED
IT'S NECESSARY TO...
OH, MY GOD.
YOU GUYS DON'T THINK
ALEC IS REAL?
SO DO I.
I'M THAT PATHETIC
THAT I'D HAVE TO CREATE
SOME IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND?
YOU KNOW WHAT'S NOT IMAGINARY?
DON'T! DON'T!
F.Y.I., I CHANGED
MY FACEBOOK STATUS TO "SINGLE"
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
DO YOU?
YOU'VE HAD
HALEY'S RECORD.
HE'S REAL.
HIS NAME IS:TEDDY?
UH-HUH.
OH.
ABOUT THIS YOUNG MAN?
HE'S NEW TO OUR SCHOOL.
STORE ...
AND HE'S A BIT
HE'S NOT REALLY
HE'S JUST A REBOUND.
IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.
UGH, WHY AM I
EVEN TALKING TO YOU GUYS?
LEAVE!
GET OUT!
IN HER EYES?
THAT'S TERRIFYING.
ABOUT THESE "CRAZY PARTIES"
"FULL OF WOMEN."
BUT WHEN I'D ASK HIM
HE'D GIVE ME
WHAT ELSE SHE'S MAKING UP.
ESTHER CHOI?
SHE DOESN'T EXIST!
WHAT DO WE DO?
BACK TO THAT THERAPIST?
THE ONE
WE'VE NEVER MET?
NO! WAIT!
DON'T OPEN IT! MOVE AWAY!
IT'S FOR ME! MOVE!
DAMN.
TEDDY?
OH,
LET'S GO.
OKAY:
YES! OUR LITTLE GIRL
ISN'T CRAZY!
TEDDY'S REAL!
REAL FREAKY!
I'M GOING!
CAM, YOU'RE SNORING.
WHAT?
WAS THAT ME?
OH, MY GOD.
OUT HERE?
SHE HAS
BOTH OF THEM?
OH, MY GOSH:
GET THE ICE CREAM!
WHAT DO WE DO?
SHOULD WE WAKE HER UP?
AND SAY WHAT?
"WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY
GETTING OFF OUR COUCH?
BE GLAZING IT."
A BETTER IDEA?
WHAT AM I DOING?
WE'LL GET THIS
DIDN'T GET A DROP OF NOTHIN'
WE'RE GONNA GET BACK TO WHY
LADY DI'S WEDDING.
CAM,
SHE'S GONNA WAKE UP.
OH, PLEASE: SHE'S GOT
SHE'S GONNA RATTLE
ROLL!
NO, I DON'T WANNA.
WHAT DO I DO?
NO, DOUG:
NOW, WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO
IS I'LL PUSH HER THIS WAY
I GOT TO PULL HER?
I'M LOSING HER.
OH!
TOO.
IT'S FINE.
OW!
HI.
HEY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I'M SORRY.
I-
I'M THE WORST HOUSEGUEST
IN THE WORLD!
DON'T.
I'M GONNA DIE ALONE.
DON'T.
BE QUIET?
I'M SO SORRY, LILY.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I'M GONNA GET YOU
CAM, ARE WE
TERRIBLE PEOPLE?
A VANDERKOFF?
IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE
IT'S NOT JUST A COUCH.
WHAT'S IN THIS DRAWER?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S IN THIS DRAWER.
I KNOW IT'S FRUSTRATING,
ALL RIGHT?
TO CHOOSE A THING OVER A PERSON?
WE'RE NO BETTER THAN DOUG.
I GUESS IT'S NOT A GREAT EXAMPLE
MAYBE WE DON'T DESERVE
"AND WHEN THE SUN
HAD FUN AT THE PICNIC."
MNH.
"A RAINY DAY FOR TURTLES."
AWW. IT ALWAYS
"AND A BEAUTIFUL RAIN..."
WE DON'T HAVE TO
LET'S GO, JAY!
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
AT THE PICNIC IN 20 MINUTES!
THEY'VE BEEN LIVING IN A VAN
SO, TODAY:
I'LL BE PLAYING LAWN DARTS
"THE STING."
SOMEONE'S GETTING
HUH?
"A CLASSIC TALE
ABOUT A LONG CON."
YOU'RE WELCOME.
"ROGUES AND DOUBLE-CROSSERS
OUTSMART WHOM?"
THAT'S WHY YOU TALKED GLORIA
SO I COULDN'T WEASEL MY WAY
AND YOU'D GET
I'M ONTO YOU NOW.
BROUGHT FOR ONE NIGHT?
SUPER REPLENISHING BALM?
UH, PORE-REDUCING
BOOSTER SERUM?
BUFFING BEADS?
I KNOW.
WE'RE SENDING
THERE'S SO MUCH PRESSURE
YOU READY?
YEP.
CAM, ALL WE CAN DO
CALMING MISTER?
NO, THIS IS
OH, GOD, YES.
WANT TO TRY?
Captions by VITAC :