1
00:00:03,335 --> 00:00:04,667
OKAY. FOUND YOU.

2
00:00:03,335 --> 00:00:04,667
OH!

3
00:00:04,709 --> 00:00:06,419
I DO HAVE AN OPEN SEAT

4
00:00:04,709 --> 00:00:06,419
IN FIRST CLASS,

5
00:00:06,458 --> 00:00:08,001
IF ONE OF YOU WOULD LIKE

6
00:00:06,458 --> 00:00:08,001
A FREE UPGRADE.

7
00:00:08,043 --> 00:00:09,500
NO, THANK YOU.

8
00:00:08,043 --> 00:00:09,500
I THINK WE'LL SIT TOGETHER.

9
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,168
AFTER THE AMAZING WEEKEND

10
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:11,168
WE JUST HAD ...

11
00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:12,500
I'LL TAKE IT.

12
00:00:12,542 --> 00:00:14,085
I DESERVED THAT SEAT.

13
00:00:14,127 --> 00:00:17,210
THREE DAYS IN THE WOODS WITH

14
00:00:14,127 --> 00:00:17,210
PHIL'S EX-CHEERLEADER BUDDIES ...

15
00:00:17,252 --> 00:00:20,294
THE OLD STORIES,

16
00:00:17,252 --> 00:00:20,294
THE SPONTANEOUS HUMAN PYRAMIDS,

17
00:00:20,335 --> 00:00:22,751
CONSTANTLY UPDATING

18
00:00:20,335 --> 00:00:22,751
THEIR TUMBLER TUMBLR ...

19
00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:24,960
I SMILED THROUGH

20
00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:24,960
THE WHOLE THING.

21
00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:27,001
PROBLEM IS

22
00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:27,001
I WAS SO CONVINCING,

23
00:00:27,043 --> 00:00:29,377
PHIL THOUGHT I WAS HAVING

24
00:00:27,043 --> 00:00:29,377
A GREAT TIME.

25
00:00:29,419 --> 00:00:31,500
WHAT DO I WANT?

26
00:00:29,419 --> 00:00:31,500
SOME CREDIT.

27
00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:33,793
WHEN DO I WANT IT?

28
00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:33,793
NOW.

29
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,876
HI.

30
00:00:35,918 --> 00:00:37,960
HEY.

31
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,001
I'M SORRY IF I SMELL

32
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,001
LIKE A CAMPFIRE.

33
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,500
I'VE BEEN IN THE WOODS

34
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,500
FOR THREE DAYS.

35
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:44,793
I HATE CAMPING.

36
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:46,294
IF I'M EVER

37
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:46,294
IN THE WOODS FOR THREE DAYS,

38
00:00:46,335 --> 00:00:48,168
IT MEANS I'VE BEEN DEAD

39
00:00:46,335 --> 00:00:48,168
FOR TWO OF THEM.

40
00:00:50,043 --> 00:00:52,500
WOW. IT FEELS GOOD

41
00:00:50,043 --> 00:00:52,500
TO LAUGH FOR REAL.

42
00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:55,751
YOU LOOK LIKE

43
00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:55,751
YOU NEED A DRINK.

44
00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:58,001
HON?

45
00:00:58,043 --> 00:01:00,127
TWO CHARDONNAYS AND A HOT TOWEL

46
00:00:58,043 --> 00:01:00,127
FOR MY FRIEND.

47
00:01:00,168 --> 00:01:02,001
RIGHT AWAY.

48
00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:04,335
I LOVE YOU,

49
00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:04,335
BEAUTIFUL STRANGER.

50
00:01:06,043 --> 00:01:07,500
I HAVE TO ADMIT,

51
00:01:06,043 --> 00:01:07,500
I WAS A LITTLE MIFFED

52
00:01:07,542 --> 00:01:09,294
THAT CLAIRE GRABBED

53
00:01:07,542 --> 00:01:09,294
THE GOOD SEAT,

54
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:10,793
ESPECIALLY AFTER I GAVE HER

55
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:10,793
SUCH A MAGICAL WEEKEND,

56
00:01:10,834 --> 00:01:13,001
BUT I WAS DETERMINED

57
00:01:10,834 --> 00:01:13,001
TO STAY POSITIVE.

58
00:01:13,043 --> 00:01:14,793
AND THEN IT HIT ME.

59
00:01:28,043 --> 00:01:29,418
EVERYBODY, SAL'S HERE.

60
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:31,210
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

61
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:31,210
OH, OH.

62
00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:32,751
IS THIS STRAIGHT?

63
00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:32,751
YOU'RE THROWING

64
00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:32,751
A BABY SHOWER

65
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,584
WITH A DOZEN MEN

66
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,584
IN TAILORED PANTS

67
00:01:34,626 --> 00:01:36,168
SIPPING BELLINIS.

68
00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:38,335
NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS ...

69
00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:38,335
UGH, I CAN'T EVEN FINISH.

70
00:01:38,376 --> 00:01:40,168
REALLY?

71
00:01:38,376 --> 00:01:40,168
THE LAST WORD WAS TOO MUCH?

72
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:42,500
SO, WE DECIDED

73
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:42,500
TO GET THE GANG TOGETHER

74
00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:44,960
TO THROW OUR FRIEND SAL

75
00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:44,960
A BELATED BABY SHOWER.

76
00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:47,127
SHE'S BEEN A LITTLE

77
00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:47,127
HARD TO PIN DOWN LATELY,

78
00:01:47,168 --> 00:01:48,960
BUT WE KNEW SHE'D NEVER

79
00:01:47,168 --> 00:01:48,960
MISS THE CHANCE

80
00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:50,793
TO SHOWER WITH A BUNCH

81
00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:50,793
OF MEN.

82
00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:52,918
YOU LOVE THAT JOKE,

83
00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:52,918
DON'T YOU?

84
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,418
WELL, BECAUSE IT'S TWO DIFFERENT

85
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,418
KINDS OF SHOWERS.

86
00:01:55,459 --> 00:01:57,500
MM-HMM.

87
00:01:57,542 --> 00:01:58,918
THIS IS LITTLE SAMMY.

88
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,960
THIS IS AS LONG

89
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,709
AS YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN OUR HOUSE

90
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,709
WITHOUT A COCKTAIL.

91
00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:04,667
NO, THANK YOU.

92
00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:04,667
JUST A WATER, PLEASE.

93
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:07,376
OKAY, EVERYBODY,

94
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:07,376
DROP YOUR PEARLS.

95
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:08,793
I'M STILL

96
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:08,793
BREASTFEEDING.

97
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:10,500
ALL THE BOOKS SAY,

98
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:10,500
"DO IT AT LEAST A YEAR."

99
00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:12,210
JOTHAM, DRINK THIS.

100
00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:12,210
I CAN'T.

101
00:02:12,252 --> 00:02:13,584
I'M LEAVING EARLY

102
00:02:12,252 --> 00:02:13,584
TO GO TO A HOCKEY GAME.

103
00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:14,960
KINGS VERSUS BLACKHAWKS.

104
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,376
WOW.

105
00:02:16,418 --> 00:02:18,168
THEY CAN

106
00:02:16,418 --> 00:02:18,168
CALL A TEAM THAT?

107
00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:20,500
BLACK HAWKS.

108
00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:20,500
OH.

109
00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:22,127
I'VE GOT TO PUT THIS

110
00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:22,127
IN THE KITCHEN.

111
00:02:22,168 --> 00:02:23,500
I MAKE

112
00:02:22,168 --> 00:02:23,500
ALL MY OWN BABY FOOD.

113
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:24,793
IT'S ALL-NATURAL,

114
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:24,793
NO CHEMICALS.

115
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,542
UH, WHO IS

116
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,542
THIS WOMAN?

117
00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:28,500
SHE'S NOT DRINKING,

118
00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:28,500
SHE'S MAKING HER OWN BABY FOOD.

119
00:02:28,542 --> 00:02:30,168
DOES LILY HAVE

120
00:02:28,542 --> 00:02:30,168
ANY OTHER PLATES?

121
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:31,876
I DON'T LET SAMMY EAT

122
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:31,876
OFF THIS PLASTIC.

123
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:33,127
UH, YEAH,

124
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:33,127
THE FAR CABINET.

125
00:02:33,168 --> 00:02:34,334
MM-HMM.

126
00:02:33,168 --> 00:02:34,334
OH, THANKS.

127
00:02:34,376 --> 00:02:35,500
OKAY.

128
00:02:34,376 --> 00:02:35,500
NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

129
00:02:35,542 --> 00:02:36,500
I KNOW.

130
00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:37,918
HOW DOES

131
00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:37,918
SHE BREASTFEED HIM

132
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,500
IF SHE DOESN'T LET HIM

133
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,500
NEAR PLASTIC?

134
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:41,542
MOM,

135
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:41,542
DO I HAVE A FEVER?

136
00:02:41,584 --> 00:02:44,001
AY, LET ME CHECK.

137
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:47,293
YOU KNOW,

138
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:47,293
WE HAVE A THERMOMETER.

139
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,500
DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO WHITE

140
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,500
ALL THE TIME?

141
00:02:49,542 --> 00:02:54,127
OH, BABY, GO LAY DOWN.

142
00:02:54,168 --> 00:02:56,542
YOU'RE SUCH A BRAVE,

143
00:02:54,168 --> 00:02:56,542
LITTLE BOY!

144
00:02:56,584 --> 00:02:58,127
HE'S FAKING IT.

145
00:02:58,168 --> 00:02:59,542
HE'S PRETENDING

146
00:02:58,168 --> 00:02:59,542
TO BE SICK

147
00:02:59,584 --> 00:03:01,293
SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO

148
00:02:59,584 --> 00:03:01,293
TO HIS COOKING CLASS.

149
00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:03,418
HE HAS TO GO.

150
00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:03,418
TODAY'S LASAGNA.

151
00:03:03,458 --> 00:03:05,584
I'VE BEEN STARVING MYSELF

152
00:03:03,458 --> 00:03:05,584
ALL DAY FOR THAT.

153
00:03:03,458 --> 00:03:05,584
HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO

154
00:03:05,626 --> 00:03:07,751
BECAUSE THERE'S A BOY THERE

155
00:03:05,626 --> 00:03:07,751
THAT IS PICKING ON HIM.

156
00:03:07,793 --> 00:03:09,876
COOKING CLASS?

157
00:03:09,918 --> 00:03:11,918
YOU KNOW, WE'RE RUNNING OUT

158
00:03:09,918 --> 00:03:11,918
OF PLACES TO SEND HIM

159
00:03:09,918 --> 00:03:11,918
WHERE HE CAN BE COOL.

160
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,751
I KNOW.

161
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,751
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

162
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,500
YOU HAVE TO TEACH HIM

163
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,500
HOW TO FIGHT.

164
00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:17,500
YEAH. THAT'LL WORK.

165
00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:17,500
YOU'RE DOING THIS.

166
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:19,918
AND DON'T TELL HIM

167
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:19,918
THAT THIS IS COMING FROM ME.

168
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,500
IT'S BAD FOR A BOY TO KNOW THAT

169
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,500
HIS MOTHER THINKS HE'S WEAK.

170
00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:23,918
THAT'S A LIFETIME

171
00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:23,918
OF PAYING WOMEN

172
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,500
TO SPANK HIM

173
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,500
UNTIL HE CRIES.

174
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:27,293
THE KID IS JUST NOT

175
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:27,293
A FIGHTER.

176
00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:28,960
HE GETS SQUEAMISH

177
00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:28,960
POUNDING VEAL.

178
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,500
JUST DO IT!

179
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,418
FINE, BUT I'M ONLY DOING IT

180
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,418
FOR THE LASAGNA

181
00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:34,960
AND THE EXTRA FOOD HE'S BEEN

182
00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:34,960
BRINGING HOME ON SUNDAYS.

183
00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:36,793
MAKES MONDAYS EASIER,

184
00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:36,793
YOU KNOW?

185
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:39,127
OH, MY GOD,

186
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:39,127
YOU'RE THE GARFIELD.

187
00:03:39,168 --> 00:03:40,876
HEY, ONE OF YOU

188
00:03:39,168 --> 00:03:40,876
PRETTY LADIES

189
00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:42,918
WANT TO TAKE ME

190
00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:42,918
TO MEET A GIRL LATER?

191
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,418
YOU THINK CALLING US PRETTY

192
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,418
IS GONNA GET YOU A RIDE?

193
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:46,500
I'LL TAKE IT.

194
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:48,085
LET ME KNOW

195
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:48,085
WHEN YOU WANT TO LEAVE.

196
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:49,751
BESIDES, I LIKE ROSE.

197
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:49,751
I THINK SHE'S GOOD FOR YOU.

198
00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:51,667
THIS IS A NEW GIRL ...

199
00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:51,667
SARAH.

200
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,667
I'M DONE WITH ROSE.

201
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,667
SHE CRAZY.

202
00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:55,793
EASY, MACKLEMORE.

203
00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:55,793
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "CRAZY"?

204
00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:57,584
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE MEANS.

205
00:03:57,626 --> 00:04:00,210
ANY TIME A WOMAN

206
00:03:57,626 --> 00:04:00,210
CHALLENGES A MAN IN ANY WAY,

207
00:04:00,251 --> 00:04:02,168
SUDDENLY, SHE'S CRAZY.

208
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:04,210
SO, WHAT DID SHE DO

209
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:04,210
THAT WAS SO CRAZY, LUKE ...

210
00:04:04,251 --> 00:04:05,918
GIVE YOU HER OPINION?

211
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,085
YEAH, OR WHAT, DID SHE DARE

212
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,085
TO TALK ABOUT HER FEELINGS?

213
00:04:09,127 --> 00:04:11,918
THE WORDS SOUND LIKE YOU GET IT,

214
00:04:09,127 --> 00:04:11,918
BUT YOUR TONE IS THROWING ME.

215
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,127
JUST TELL ME YOU SAID SOMETHING

216
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,127
NICE WHEN YOU BROKE UP WITH HER.

217
00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:15,667
I HAVEN'T BROKEN UP WITH HER.

218
00:04:15,709 --> 00:04:17,500
WHAT?

219
00:04:15,709 --> 00:04:17,500
WHAT?

220
00:04:15,709 --> 00:04:17,500
IT JUST SEEMS WEIRD

221
00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:19,584
TO CALL SOMEONE UP

222
00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:19,584
AND GIVE THEM BAD NEWS.

223
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:21,293
SHE'LL FIND OUT SOMEHOW.

224
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:23,751
UGH.

225
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:23,751
UGH, WHEN DID YOU BECOME

226
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:23,751
A GUY? IT'S GROSS.

227
00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:25,751
YOU NEED TO STAND UP

228
00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:25,751
AND FACE HER.

229
00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:28,334
IN PERSON?

230
00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:28,334
WHAT ARE WE, 30?

231
00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:28,334
SEND HER A TEXT.

232
00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:29,876
YOU NEED TO BREAK IT

233
00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:29,876
TO HER GENTLY.

234
00:04:29,918 --> 00:04:32,542
FIRST,

235
00:04:29,918 --> 00:04:32,542
TELL HER SHE'S AWESOME.

236
00:04:29,918 --> 00:04:32,542
AND PRETTY.

237
00:04:32,584 --> 00:04:34,584
IF SHE WAS AWESOME AND PRETTY,

238
00:04:32,584 --> 00:04:34,584
I WOULDN'T BE DUMPING HER.

239
00:04:34,626 --> 00:04:35,918
JUST DO IT, YOU PIG.

240
00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:39,376
WE ALL KNOW

241
00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:39,376
I'M NOT GONNA DO IT,

242
00:04:39,418 --> 00:04:41,584
SO IF YOU WANT IT DONE,

243
00:04:39,418 --> 00:04:41,584
HERE.

244
00:04:43,168 --> 00:04:45,584
OH, AND DON'T GO

245
00:04:43,168 --> 00:04:45,584
LOOKING AROUND ON THERE.

246
00:04:45,626 --> 00:04:47,960
IT'S NOT GONNA MAKE YOU

247
00:04:45,626 --> 00:04:47,960
LIKE ME MORE.

248
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:49,500
UGH.

249
00:04:58,542 --> 00:04:59,960
'S-SCUSE ME.

250
00:04:58,542 --> 00:04:59,960
I THINK YOU'RE IN MY SEAT.

251
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:01,751
SIR, WE THINK

252
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:01,751
YOU'RE IN HER SEAT.

253
00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:04,500
NO,

254
00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:04,500
I'M DEFINITELY 16C.

255
00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:05,918
THIS IS 19C.

256
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,500
OH, DARN IT,

257
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,500
THAT'S THREE ROWS UP.

258
00:05:07,542 --> 00:05:08,793
SORRY ABOUT THAT.

259
00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:10,542
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

260
00:05:10,584 --> 00:05:12,960
HI. WELCOME. UM, COULD YOU

261
00:05:10,584 --> 00:05:12,960
HANG BACK A SECOND?

262
00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,334
I-I DROPPED MY PHONE.

263
00:05:14,376 --> 00:05:17,500
I MAY HAVE, UH,

264
00:05:14,376 --> 00:05:17,500
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR...

265
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:19,500
RIGHT THERE.

266
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:19,500
WAIT. WHAT?

267
00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:20,584
HI.

268
00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:22,001
I'M A PROFESSIONAL

269
00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:22,001
MAGICIAN.

270
00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:24,334
HOLY SWORD-BOX,

271
00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:24,334
YOU'RE EDWARD LeGRAND.

272
00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:26,085
YEAH, I AM.

273
00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:26,085
I AM.

274
00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:26,085
I-I'M PHIL DUNPHY,

275
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:28,127
P-PROFESSIONAL REALTOR,

276
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:28,127
AMATEUR MAGICIAN.

277
00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:29,793
WELL,

278
00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:29,793
NICE TO MEET YOU.

279
00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:29,793
HI. I'M JILLIAN.

280
00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:32,127
I'VE BEEN TOLD

281
00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:32,127
I HAVE MAGIC HANDS.

282
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:33,584
I'M A MASSEUSE.

283
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:33,584
OH.

284
00:05:33,626 --> 00:05:35,500
WHY DO YOU KEEP RUBBING

285
00:05:33,626 --> 00:05:35,500
YOUR FOREARM LIKE THAT?

286
00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,085
OH, I-I HAD A SUITCASE

287
00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,085
LAND ON ME.

288
00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,085
OH, LET ME SEE.

289
00:05:37,126 --> 00:05:38,584
HEY, PHIL...

290
00:05:37,126 --> 00:05:38,584
OHH.

291
00:05:38,626 --> 00:05:40,334
I'VE GOT A GREAT NEW TRICK

292
00:05:38,626 --> 00:05:40,334
I WANT TO SHOW YOU.

293
00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:42,001
OH!

294
00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:42,001
OOH,

295
00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:42,001
I CAN DO TRICKS, TOO.

296
00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,709
THIS SPOT'S CONNECTED

297
00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,709
TO YOUR TONGUE.

298
00:05:43,751 --> 00:05:45,500
OH. OHH!

299
00:05:46,751 --> 00:05:48,500
CAN I STOW YOUR BAG

300
00:05:46,751 --> 00:05:48,500
FOR YOU?

301
00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:50,751
MM.

302
00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:50,751
NO, WE'LL BE NEEDING THIS.

303
00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:52,542
TRASHY MAGAZINES.

304
00:05:52,584 --> 00:05:54,167
OH, YOU'RE THE BEST.

305
00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:56,960
OOH.

306
00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:56,960
CARAMEL TRUFFLES.

307
00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:59,167
I EVEN BROUGHT

308
00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:59,167
AN EXTRA FLUFFY NECK PILLOW.

309
00:05:59,209 --> 00:06:00,667
OH!

310
00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:04,167
OH, THIS MUST BE

311
00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:04,167
WHAT A MOTHER'S HUG FEELS LIKE.

312
00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:07,500
HELLO?

313
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:09,584
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S TAKING

314
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:09,584
GOOD CARE OF YOU.

315
00:06:09,626 --> 00:06:11,001
WELL,

316
00:06:09,626 --> 00:06:11,001
SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND.

317
00:06:11,043 --> 00:06:12,500
LISTEN TO ME, JULIO.

318
00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:15,960
I WANT THE GUTTERS

319
00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:15,960
CLEANED TODAY, NOT MANANA.

320
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,751
IF EVERYONE THOUGHT

321
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,751
MY PEOPLE WERE LAZY,

322
00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:21,500
I WOULD DO WHATEVER IT TOOK

323
00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:21,500
TO NOT SEEM LAZY.

324
00:06:21,542 --> 00:06:23,542
COMPRENDE?

325
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,376
ACTUALLY,

326
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,376
WE'RE GONNA TAKE OFF SOON,

327
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,960
SO WE'RE GONNA NEED YOU

328
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,960
TO TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

329
00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:30,001
I'M ACTUALLY NOT DONE TALKING,

330
00:06:27,001 --> 00:06:30,001
AND TWO MORE.

331
00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:31,500
WELL, IF I WERE YOU,

332
00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:34,500
I'D PUT DOWN THE BURRITO

333
00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:34,500
AND GET UP THAT LADDER.

334
00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:38,376
WHAT ARE YOU DOING

335
00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:38,376
STANDING THERE

336
00:06:38,418 --> 00:06:40,542
AND NOT GETTING DRINKS FOR ME

337
00:06:38,418 --> 00:06:40,542
AND MY GOOD FRIEND, CLAIRE?

338
00:06:40,584 --> 00:06:42,960
ACTUALLY, WE JUST MET.

339
00:06:40,584 --> 00:06:42,960
MM.

340
00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:46,084
OH, GUYS, GUYS,

341
00:06:46,126 --> 00:06:48,500
I CAN'T LET YOU DO THE CLEANUP

342
00:06:46,126 --> 00:06:48,500
ALL BY YOURSELVES.

343
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,126
RONALDO WILL HELP YOU.

344
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,126
OF COURSE!

345
00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:52,542
UH, WHERE IS SAL?

346
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:54,584
I NEED HER KEYS TO START

347
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:54,584
LOADING THE GIFTS IN HER CAR.

348
00:06:54,626 --> 00:06:57,167
I THINK SHE'S CHANGING SAMMY

349
00:06:54,626 --> 00:06:57,167
IN OUR ROOM.

350
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,500
I HOPE SHE'S ALSO CHANGING

351
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,500
THOSE DRAPES.

352
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,500
OH!

353
00:06:59,542 --> 00:07:01,500
I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE

354
00:06:59,542 --> 00:07:01,500
A SENTIMENTAL SOFTY,

355
00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:02,709
BUT DOES ANYONE MISS

356
00:07:02,751 --> 00:07:04,500
THE DRUNKEN WHORE

357
00:07:02,751 --> 00:07:04,500
SHE USED TO BE?

358
00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:06,500
OH, I LIKE THE NEW SAL.

359
00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:09,084
TURNS OUT, ALL SHE NEEDED TO

360
00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:09,084
BRING OUT HER MATERNAL INSTINCT

361
00:07:09,126 --> 00:07:11,500
WAS A LITTLE BABY.

362
00:07:09,126 --> 00:07:11,500
I DON'T BUY IT.

363
00:07:09,126 --> 00:07:11,500
NO, SOMETHING'S UP.

364
00:07:11,542 --> 00:07:14,293
YOU DO REMEMBER HER SUGGESTING

365
00:07:11,542 --> 00:07:14,293
WE CHUCK LILY INTO THE OCEAN.

366
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,126
OH, MITCHELL, CALM DOWN.

367
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,126
BABIES CHANGE PEOPLE.

368
00:07:16,167 --> 00:07:17,709
LIKE YOU USED TO BE

369
00:07:16,167 --> 00:07:17,709
A JUDGMENTAL CYNIC,

370
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:20,167
AND THEN LILY ...

371
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:20,167
OH, WAIT.

372
00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:22,334
YOU GUYS,

373
00:07:20,209 --> 00:07:22,334
SAL'S NOT BACK THERE.

374
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,500
SAL?

375
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,500
THE DRAPES STILL ARE.

376
00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:26,500
WELL, THAT'S WEIRD.

377
00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:26,500
HER CAR'S GONE.

378
00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:26,500
WHAT?

379
00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:28,084
LET'S NOT JUMP

380
00:07:26,542 --> 00:07:28,084
TO CONCLUSIONS.

381
00:07:28,126 --> 00:07:30,167
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,

382
00:07:28,126 --> 00:07:30,167
HER CAR COULD HAVE BEEN STOLEN.

383
00:07:30,209 --> 00:07:31,960
WELL, YOU KNOW,

384
00:07:30,209 --> 00:07:31,960
SHE DID SEEM FRAZZLED.

385
00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,500
MAY... MAYBE SHE FORGOT

386
00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,500
TO SAY GOODBYE.

387
00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:35,500
OH, AND FORGOT

388
00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:35,500
ALL OF HER PRESENTS.

389
00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:40,293
AND FORGOT HER BABY.

390
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,293
YOU DON'T THINK THAT THERE'S

391
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,293
ANY WAY THAT SHE WOULD ...

392
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:44,084
N-NO.

393
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:44,084
I-I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT.

394
00:07:44,126 --> 00:07:45,709
I CAN.

395
00:07:45,751 --> 00:07:47,500
THAT GIN-SOAKED TART

396
00:07:45,751 --> 00:07:47,500
ABANDONED THE LITTLE BASTARD.

397
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:48,918
OH, ST...

398
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,376
WHAT?

399
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,376
HE'S FATHERLESS.

400
00:07:51,418 --> 00:07:52,793
AM I WRONG?

401
00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:01,500
OKAY, I'VE CALLED

402
00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:01,500
SAL FIVE TIMES, AND SHE

403
00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:01,500
STILL HASN'T PICKED UP.

404
00:08:01,542 --> 00:08:03,209
I KNEW THIS WHOLE "EARTH MOTHER"

405
00:08:01,542 --> 00:08:03,209
THING WAS AN ACT.

406
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:05,293
OH, MAYBE WE SHOULD

407
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:05,293
USE OUR HAPPY VOICES

408
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:06,500
WHEN WE'RE ACCUSING A MOMMY

409
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:08,418
OF ABANDONING HER

410
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:08,418
LITTLE BABY BOY.

411
00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:11,418
UGH.

412
00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:11,418
THIS IS A TRUE DISASTER.

413
00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:11,418
ISN'T IT?

414
00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:12,667
SOMEONE PUT A SPANISH ROOF

415
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,960
ON WHAT IS CLEARLY

416
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,960
A MID-CENTURY RANCH.

417
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,667
OH, NO. SOMEONE JUST WENT

418
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,667
NUMERO TWO.

419
00:08:17,709 --> 00:08:19,376
OH!

420
00:08:17,709 --> 00:08:19,376
YEAH.

421
00:08:19,418 --> 00:08:21,000
AND THE AFTERSHOCKS

422
00:08:19,418 --> 00:08:21,000
ARE STILL ROLLING IN.

423
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,000
HERE'S HER DIAPER BAG.

424
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,000
AND... WHAT'S ...

425
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:26,000
OH, NO. THIS ...

426
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:26,000
UH, H-HERE'S A NOTE.

427
00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:28,751
"I'M SORRY TO LEAVE THIS WAY.

428
00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:28,751
"I'M NOT PROUD OF IT.

429
00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:31,500
"BUT I JUST CAN'T DO THIS

430
00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:31,500
ANYMORE. GOODBYE. SAL."

431
00:08:31,542 --> 00:08:33,918
IT'S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER

432
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,793
TO KEEP A POSITIVE SPIN

433
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,793
ON THIS.

434
00:08:38,209 --> 00:08:39,500
HERE. HAVE SOME CHEESE.

435
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:42,126
OH, NO. THANK YOU.

436
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:42,126
I'M ... I'M GOOD.

437
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:43,542
OH, MY.

438
00:08:43,584 --> 00:08:45,500
THAT IS

439
00:08:43,584 --> 00:08:45,500
STRONG.

440
00:08:45,542 --> 00:08:46,793
OH, MY GOODNESS.

441
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:49,500
HEY.

442
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:49,500
WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?

443
00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:51,500
IT'S FRENCH CHEESE.

444
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:53,376
COSTS MORE THAN YOU MAKE

445
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:53,376
IN A WEEK.

446
00:08:53,418 --> 00:08:55,334
OKAY, YOU MIGHT WANT

447
00:08:53,418 --> 00:08:55,334
TO KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.

448
00:08:55,376 --> 00:08:57,000
CLAIRE.

449
00:08:55,376 --> 00:08:57,000
YEAH?

450
00:08:57,042 --> 00:08:59,293
That guy over there

451
00:08:57,042 --> 00:08:59,293
is checking you out!

452
00:08:59,334 --> 00:09:00,751
I DON'T THINK HE IS.

453
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:03,751
MY FRIEND CLAIRE WOULD LIKE

454
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:03,751
TO MEET YOU IN THE BATHROOM.

455
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,500
NO.

456
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,500
I-I DID NOT SAY THAT.

457
00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:09,084
CLAIRE, WHY DO YOU DO THAT

458
00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:09,084
TO YOURSELF?

459
00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:11,418
YOU ARE SO PRETTY.

460
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:13,500
HEY, PHIL,

461
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:13,500
WHAT TIME IS IT?

462
00:09:13,542 --> 00:09:14,709
WHAT'S WRONG?

463
00:09:14,751 --> 00:09:18,293
MY WATCH IS GO...

464
00:09:14,751 --> 00:09:18,293
EDWARD, WHAT DID YOU DO?

465
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:20,126
JILLIAN, WHAT'S YOUR, UH,

466
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:20,126
MIDDLE INITIAL?

467
00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:22,167
"C," FOR CATHERINE.

468
00:09:22,209 --> 00:09:24,542
AND, PHIL, UH, WHAT AGE WERE YOU

469
00:09:22,209 --> 00:09:24,542
WHEN YOU FIRST KISSED A GIRL?

470
00:09:24,584 --> 00:09:26,500
12 COUSIN,

471
00:09:24,584 --> 00:09:26,500
14 NON-COUSIN.

472
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,500
LET'S STICK

473
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,500
WITH NON-COUSIN.

474
00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:31,500
I THINK IF YOU GO TO 14C,

475
00:09:28,542 --> 00:09:31,500
SEAT RIGHT OVER THERE,

476
00:09:31,542 --> 00:09:34,084
YOU'LL WIND UP

477
00:09:31,542 --> 00:09:34,084
WITH WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

478
00:09:34,126 --> 00:09:35,500
IT WORKS ON BATTERY,

479
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,584
BUT, OH, MY GOD,

480
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,584
I'M EXCITED!

481
00:09:40,542 --> 00:09:42,293
EXCUSE ME.

482
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:44,500
PHIL. IT'S ME.

483
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:44,500
OH, HEY, WHAT ARE YOU

484
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:44,500
DOING BACK HERE?

485
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,293
I NEED A BREAK FROM THE WOMAN

486
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,293
I'M SITTING NEXT TO UP THERE.

487
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,500
SHE IS THE WORST PERSON

488
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,500
ON EARTH.

489
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,500
I'M SORRY.

490
00:09:48,542 --> 00:09:50,584
I WAS HOPING SHE MIGHT BE A

491
00:09:48,542 --> 00:09:50,584
LITTLE LESS AGGRESSIVE WITH YOU.

492
00:09:50,626 --> 00:09:52,500
DO YOU MIND SWITCHING WITH ME

493
00:09:50,626 --> 00:09:52,500
FOR A LITTLE WHILE?

494
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:54,418
OH, HONEY, YOU DON'T WANT TO.

495
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:54,418
IT'S HELL BACK HERE, TOO.

496
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,126
I'M SQUISHED BETWEEN

497
00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,126
THIS FAT LADY

498
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,751
WHO KEEPS DIGGING

499
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,751
INTO MY ELBOW

500
00:09:57,793 --> 00:09:59,167
AND THIS HUGE, SWEATY DUDE

501
00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:01,126
WHO WON'T STOP BLABBING ON

502
00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:01,126
ABOUT HIS JOB.

503
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:04,084
OH. WELL, COULD I GET A HUG?

504
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:04,084
I COULD REALLY USE ONE.

505
00:10:04,126 --> 00:10:06,209
SURE THING. OOPS.

506
00:10:04,126 --> 00:10:06,209
THEY WANT US BACK IN OUR SEATS.

507
00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:08,126
I DIDN'T HEAR

508
00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:08,126
THE LITTLE DING.

509
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,500
YOUR EARS MUST BE PLUGGED.

510
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,500
WHOA! DID YOU FEEL THAT?

511
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,167
NO, I-I-I DIDN'T

512
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,167
FEEL ANYTHING.

513
00:10:12,209 --> 00:10:14,459
THIS IS SCARY.

514
00:10:12,209 --> 00:10:14,459
YOU SHOULD GO BACK.

515
00:10:18,376 --> 00:10:21,167
AMAZING.

516
00:10:21,209 --> 00:10:23,126
THANK YOU.

517
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:24,500
Sorcerer!

518
00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:26,542
NOT BAD.

519
00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:26,542
I FELT THAT ONE.

520
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,500
SO GOOD, MANNY.

521
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,000
ALL RIGHT,

522
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,000
REALLY LET ONE GO THIS TIME.

523
00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:32,084
THINKS ABOUT HOW MAD

524
00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:32,084
THIS GUY MAKES YOU.

525
00:10:32,126 --> 00:10:33,500
WHAT'S HIS NAME?

526
00:10:32,126 --> 00:10:33,500
GIDEON.

527
00:10:33,542 --> 00:10:34,959
OH, GEEZ.

528
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,500
ALL RIGHT,

529
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,500
THINK ABOUT WHAT HE DID TO YOU.

530
00:10:36,542 --> 00:10:38,459
I'D RATHER NOT

531
00:10:36,542 --> 00:10:38,459
TALK ABOUT IT.

532
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:41,500
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE SMILING.

533
00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:41,500
YOUR FENNEL'S BURNT.

534
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:43,751
WHEREAS I MADE

535
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:43,751
A PERFECT BUTTERNUT SQUASH.

536
00:10:43,793 --> 00:10:45,500
THAT'S JUST BUTTER.

537
00:10:45,542 --> 00:10:47,209
OH, YEAH, I-I TOTALLY FORGOT

538
00:10:45,542 --> 00:10:47,209
THE NUT SQUASH!

539
00:10:47,251 --> 00:10:49,167
OH!

540
00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:51,167
SNAP IT.

541
00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:51,167
SNAP IT. GOOD.

542
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:52,793
MORE. GOOD.

543
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:52,793
I'M DONE.

544
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,793
I'M NOT FIGHTING ANYMORE.

545
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,793
IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

546
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,376
BUT YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD.

547
00:10:56,418 --> 00:10:58,500
YOU JUST HAVE TO TURN

548
00:10:56,418 --> 00:10:58,500
YOUR SHOULDER FIRST

549
00:10:58,542 --> 00:11:00,751
SO THAT YOU CAN THROW

550
00:10:58,542 --> 00:11:00,751
YOUR WEIGHT BEHIND YOUR PUNCH.

551
00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:03,293
IF YOU WANT.

552
00:11:03,334 --> 00:11:04,959
I ALREADY THINK

553
00:11:03,334 --> 00:11:04,959
THAT YOU'RE VERY TOUGH.

554
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,875
THIS IS ALL JAY'S IDEA.

555
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,751
ALL RIGHT. COME ON, KID.

556
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,751
SHOW 'EM WHO'S BOSS.

557
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,751
NO.

558
00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:11,542
I'M MORE OF A LOVER

559
00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:11,542
THAN A FIGHTER.

560
00:11:11,584 --> 00:11:13,376
WELL,

561
00:11:11,584 --> 00:11:13,376
THAT'S THE GOAL, ANYWAY.

562
00:11:13,418 --> 00:11:16,959
AY, OKAY, PAPI,

563
00:11:13,418 --> 00:11:16,959
WHATEVER YOU DECIDE.

564
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,917
DON'T LET HIM LEAVE

565
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,917
THIS ROOM!

566
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,917
OW, OW, OW!

567
00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:21,209
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TEACH HIM

568
00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:21,209
HOW TO HIT.

569
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:22,542
OH, MY GOD.

570
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:22,542
CHECK IT OUT.

571
00:11:22,584 --> 00:11:24,500
ROSE GOT YOUR BREAKUP TEXT

572
00:11:22,584 --> 00:11:24,500
AND WROTE BACK.

573
00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:25,751
SHE MAD.

574
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:27,500
WHAT?

575
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:27,500
GIVE ME THAT.

576
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:31,500
"THANKS FOR THE DUMBEST

577
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:31,500
BREAKUP TEXT EVER.

578
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:32,959
"DON'T CALL A GIRL AWESOME,

579
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:32,959
THEN BREAK UP WITH HER.

580
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,293
"IF I'M SO GREAT,

581
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,293
WHY'D YOU DUMP ME?

582
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:37,792
GET OVER YOURSELF,

583
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:37,792
YOU INSENSITIVE TROLL"?

584
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:41,000
WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?

585
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:41,000
SHE CAN'T TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT.

586
00:11:41,042 --> 00:11:43,709
SHE'S NOT.

587
00:11:41,042 --> 00:11:43,709
SHE'S TALKING TO YOU.

588
00:11:43,751 --> 00:11:46,500
I CAN'T BELIEVE

589
00:11:43,751 --> 00:11:46,500
I EVER LIKED THIS GIRL.

590
00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:48,500
OUR TEXT WAS COMPASSIONATE

591
00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:48,500
AND RESPECTFUL.

592
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,084
THERE WAS NOTHING DUMB

593
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,084
ABOUT IT.

594
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,667
A MILLION PERCENT.

595
00:11:51,709 --> 00:11:53,376
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

596
00:11:51,709 --> 00:11:53,376
OH.

597
00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:57,709
THIS CRAZY BITCH JUST MESSED

598
00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:57,709
WITH THE WRONG CRAZY BITCH.

599
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,084
WHOO, WHOO, WHOO,

600
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,084
DEE, DOO!

601
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,084
THIS IS UNREAL.

602
00:12:00,126 --> 00:12:01,500
WE ALWAYS KNEW

603
00:12:00,126 --> 00:12:01,500
SAL WAS UNSTABLE,

604
00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:02,750
BUT HOW COULD SHE

605
00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:02,750
DO THIS?

606
00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:04,500
WE DON'T KNOW

607
00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:04,500
THAT SHE'S DONE ANYTHING.

608
00:12:04,542 --> 00:12:06,584
OKAY, LET'S JUST SUPPOSE

609
00:12:04,542 --> 00:12:06,584
FOR A SECOND

610
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,500
THAT SHE'S ON A PLANE

611
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,500
TO CABO.

612
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:10,542
WHAT THEN?

613
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:10,542
MAYBE THIS IS PART OF

614
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:10,542
A BIGGER PLAN.

615
00:12:10,584 --> 00:12:12,084
YOU KNOW,

616
00:12:10,584 --> 00:12:12,084
MAYBE THE REASON

617
00:12:12,126 --> 00:12:13,500
WE DIDN'T ADOPT

618
00:12:12,126 --> 00:12:13,500
ANOTHER BABY AFTER LILY

619
00:12:13,542 --> 00:12:16,500
WAS BECAUSE GOD WANTED US

620
00:12:13,542 --> 00:12:16,500
AVAILABLE FOR SAMMY.

621
00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:18,750
WHO IS THIS GOD

622
00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:18,750
THAT DENIES US A BABY,

623
00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:20,500
THEN GETS A PARTY GIRL

624
00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:20,500
PREGNANT,

625
00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:22,334
ONLY TO HAVE HER DESERT THE BABY

626
00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:22,334
SO THAT WE CAN FINALLY GET ONE?

627
00:12:22,376 --> 00:12:24,500
THE SAME GOD

628
00:12:22,376 --> 00:12:24,500
THAT IMPREGNATED A VIRGIN,

629
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,792
SENT MOSES DOWN THE RIVER

630
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,792
IN A BASKET,

631
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,875
AND COMMANDED ABRAHAM

632
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,875
TO STAB HIS OWN SON.

633
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,167
GOD ONLY DOES

634
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,167
WEIRD BABY STUFF.

635
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,708
OKAY, YES, I'LL ADMIT,

636
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,708
THERE IS PART OF ME THAT WOULD

637
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,708
LOVE TO KEEP THIS LITTLE GUY

638
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,792
AND RAISE HIM THE WAY

639
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,792
SAL WAS PRETENDING TO.

640
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,418
EXACTLY.

641
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,418
LILY COULD HAVE A BABY BROTHER.

642
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:40,959
BUT THERE ARE SYSTEMS

643
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:40,959
IN PLACE HERE.

644
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,084
YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP HIM LIKE

645
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,084
A BUNNY YOU FOUND IN THE YARD.

646
00:12:43,126 --> 00:12:44,959
THAT'S CRAZY.

647
00:12:43,126 --> 00:12:44,959
AWW.

648
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,917
LISTEN,

649
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,917
WE DISCUSSED IT,

650
00:12:46,959 --> 00:12:48,750
AND WE THINK

651
00:12:46,959 --> 00:12:48,750
WE SHOULD TAKE THE KID.

652
00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:50,792
EE!

653
00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:50,792
WHAT SHOULD WE CALL HIM?

654
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:52,584
NOT SURE,

655
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:52,584
BUT DEFINITELY NOT SAMMY.

656
00:12:52,626 --> 00:12:54,500
SAMMY SALTZMAN

657
00:12:52,626 --> 00:12:54,500
SOUNDS SO SILLY.

658
00:12:57,542 --> 00:13:00,293
WE CAN

659
00:12:57,542 --> 00:13:00,293
OVERHAND SHUFFLE,

660
00:13:00,334 --> 00:13:02,500
AND WE CAN

661
00:13:00,334 --> 00:13:02,500
RIFFLE SHUFFLE...

662
00:13:02,542 --> 00:13:04,209
BUT, YOU KNOW,

663
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:08,167
THERE IS NO ESCAPE

664
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:08,167
FROM THE ANGRY...

665
00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,500
QUEEN.

666
00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,500
WHAT?

667
00:13:09,542 --> 00:13:11,584
PHIL.

668
00:13:09,542 --> 00:13:11,584
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

669
00:13:11,626 --> 00:13:14,293
MAKING THE BEST

670
00:13:11,626 --> 00:13:14,293
OF A BAD SITUATION?

671
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:15,500
WHY IS THAT WOMAN

672
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:15,500
RUBBING YOUR SHOULDERS?

673
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:17,542
OH, UH,

674
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:17,542
JILLIAN IS A MASSEUSE,

675
00:13:17,584 --> 00:13:20,542
AND THIS, OF COURSE,

676
00:13:17,584 --> 00:13:20,542
IS EDWARD LeGRAND.

677
00:13:20,584 --> 00:13:22,209
PLEASURE

678
00:13:20,584 --> 00:13:22,209
TO MEET YOU.

679
00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:23,666
NOW, IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME

680
00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:23,666
MY ACE OF SPADES BACK ...

681
00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:25,500
IT'S IN YOUR POCKET.

682
00:13:25,542 --> 00:13:28,334
THIS IS WHY YOU HAD TO RACE BACK

683
00:13:25,542 --> 00:13:28,334
TO YOUR HELLISH SEAT ...

684
00:13:28,376 --> 00:13:30,500
FOR BACK RUBS

685
00:13:28,376 --> 00:13:30,500
AND CARD TRICKS?

686
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:32,126
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT

687
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:32,126
I'M GOING THROUGH UP THERE?

688
00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:33,792
SHE CLIPPED HER TOENAILS

689
00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:36,500
BECAUSE HER "ORIENTAL GIRL"

690
00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:36,500
DIDN'T DO IT RIGHT.

691
00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:38,167
CLAIRE, I'M SORRY.

692
00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:40,293
BUT I NEED YOU TO CHECK

693
00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:40,293
YOUR POCKET.

694
00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:45,500
INSANITY!

695
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:47,875
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

696
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,418
DON'T BE MAD AT ME.

697
00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:51,000
YOU'RE THE ONE

698
00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:51,000
WHO GRABBED THAT SEAT.

699
00:13:51,042 --> 00:13:52,500
THAT WAS

700
00:13:51,042 --> 00:13:52,500
A PRETTY SELFISH MOVE.

701
00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:54,000
YEAH,

702
00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:54,000
I DID GRAB THAT SEAT,

703
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,666
BECAUSE I SPENT THE ENTIRE

704
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,666
WEEKEND BEING SELFLESS,

705
00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:57,500
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN

706
00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:57,500
THANK ME ONCE.

707
00:13:57,542 --> 00:13:59,542
WHY WOULD I THANK YOU FOR

708
00:13:57,542 --> 00:13:59,542
GIVING YOU AN AWESOME WEEKEND?

709
00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:01,209
AWESOME?

710
00:14:01,251 --> 00:14:03,167
YOU SPENT THE WHOLE WEEKEND

711
00:14:01,251 --> 00:14:03,167
REHASHING STORIES

712
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,666
ABOUT ITCHY, RUSTY,

713
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,666
AND LOVEBOAT.

714
00:14:05,708 --> 00:14:07,376
HOW IS THAT FUN FOR ME?

715
00:14:07,418 --> 00:14:08,500
THEY WERE ALWAYS

716
00:14:07,418 --> 00:14:08,500
GETTING INTO STUFF!

717
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:10,376
I CAME BACK HERE

718
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:10,376
FOR SOME COMPASSION,

719
00:14:10,418 --> 00:14:12,293
AND ALL YOU DID WAS LIE TO ME

720
00:14:10,418 --> 00:14:12,293
AND BLOW ME OFF

721
00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:14,500
SO YOU COULD KEEP

722
00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:14,500
HAVING YOUR FUN

723
00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:16,666
WHILE I SUFFER UP THERE

724
00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:16,666
IN FIRST CLASS!

725
00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:17,875
OH, MY HEART GOES OUT

726
00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:17,875
TO YOU.

727
00:14:17,917 --> 00:14:19,500
OH, STICK IT, KRESKIN.

728
00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:22,666
I'M SITTING NEXT

729
00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:22,666
TO A CHEESE-EATING RACIST.

730
00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:24,334
I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR CARD.

731
00:14:24,376 --> 00:14:25,750
YEAH, UH...

732
00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:27,959
DON'T BE.

733
00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:27,959
SON OF A...

734
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,666
ALL RIGHT.

735
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:31,500
I'LL BE BACK ...

736
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:31,500
PICK YOU UP AT 6:00.

737
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:32,959
NOW, REMEMBER,

738
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:32,959
WHAT DID I TEACH YOU?

739
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,500
VIOLENCE SOLVES EVERYTHING,

740
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,500
AND DON'T WIND MY FIST UP

741
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,500
LIKE POPEYE.

742
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,583
IT'S NOT VIOLENCE.

743
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,583
IT'S SELF-DEFENSE.

744
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:41,000
YOU CANNOT LET THIS KID

745
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:41,000
KEEP PUSHING YOU AROUND.

746
00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:42,917
NOW, YOU WALK IN THERE

747
00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:42,917
LIKE A BADASS,

748
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:45,792
AND YOU MAKE THE BEST DAMN

749
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:45,792
LASAGNA ANYBODY'S EVER SEEN.

750
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:48,750
I APPRECIATE THE SPEECH, JAY,

751
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:48,750
BUT I'LL HANDLE THINGS MY WAY.

752
00:14:48,792 --> 00:14:50,209
KID, ONE MORE THING.

753
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,542
DON'T FORGET

754
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,542
THE GARLIC BREAD.

755
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,542
BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT...

756
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,542
I-I GET IT.

757
00:14:56,833 --> 00:15:00,293
HEY, DELGADO.

758
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:03,459
MANNY, I'M TALKING TO YOU.

759
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:03,459
YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS?

760
00:15:05,959 --> 00:15:07,792
OW!

761
00:15:05,959 --> 00:15:07,792
WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

762
00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:10,334
LOOKS LIKE I GAVE YOU

763
00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:10,334
A PIECE OF THIS.

764
00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:10,334
WHAT THE HELL?

765
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,500
I WAS JUST OFFERING YOU

766
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,500
SOME APPLE CRUMBLE!

767
00:15:12,542 --> 00:15:13,792
WHAT? YOU WERE NOT.

768
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:16,792
YES, I WAS!

769
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:16,792
I FELT BAD ABOUT TEASING YOU.

770
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,209
MY THERAPIST

771
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,209
SAID I WAS ACTING OUT

772
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,209
BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS' DIVORCE,

773
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,666
SO I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE.

774
00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:23,917
I'M SO SORRY.

775
00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:23,917
I DIDN'T KNOW!

776
00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:25,500
GOOD SHOT, KID!

777
00:15:25,541 --> 00:15:27,500
THAT'LL TEACH YOU

778
00:15:25,541 --> 00:15:27,500
WHO TO PICK ON, YOU PUNK ...

779
00:15:27,541 --> 00:15:30,126
NOT MY BOY! HE LEARNED HOW

780
00:15:27,541 --> 00:15:30,126
TO PUNCH FROM THE BEST.

781
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,500
HIS PARENTS

782
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,500
ARE GETTING DIVORCED,

783
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:33,500
AND HE MADE ME THAT DESSERT

784
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:33,500
AS AN APOLOGY.

785
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:36,293
THIS WHOLE THING

786
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:36,293
WAS YOUR MOTHER'S IDEA.

787
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,500
RONALDO, YOU GRAB

788
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,500
THE ROLLER THINGY, AND, UH ...

789
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,959
OH! I'LL GRAB

790
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,959
THAT BIG MESH CAGE.

791
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,500
ALL RIGHT.

792
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,500
EVERYBODY, STOP.

793
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,500
YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP

794
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,500
A BABY

795
00:15:50,541 --> 00:15:53,376
LIKE IT'S SOME RABBIT

796
00:15:50,541 --> 00:15:53,376
YOU FOUND IN THE YARD.

797
00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,917
THERE ARE SYSTEMS

798
00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,917
IN PLACE.

799
00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,917
WOW.

800
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:58,000
HE HAS TO STAY

801
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:58,000
SOMEWHERE TONIGHT, NO?

802
00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,500
YEAH,

803
00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,500
HOW ABOUT RIGHT HERE,

804
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,499
BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW

805
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,499
TO RAISE A CHILD?

806
00:16:01,541 --> 00:16:02,583
OH, PLEASE.

807
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:03,917
WE'LL DRESS HIM

808
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:03,917
AND FEED HIM,

809
00:16:03,959 --> 00:16:05,666
AND CONCHETTA CAN HANDLE

810
00:16:03,959 --> 00:16:05,666
THE POOPY STUFF.

811
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,792
I GAVE HER OBAMACARE.

812
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,792
IT'S THE LEAST SHE CAN DO.

813
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,875
WE ALL WANT

814
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,875
WHAT'S BEST FOR THE BABY.

815
00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:12,376
Y-YOU'RE VERY NICE PEOPLE,

816
00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:12,376
BUT WE'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.

817
00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:12,376
MM-HMM.

818
00:16:12,418 --> 00:16:14,167
SO?

819
00:16:12,418 --> 00:16:14,167
IT'S OUR TURN.

820
00:16:15,459 --> 00:16:17,293
I WANTED A CHILD

821
00:16:15,459 --> 00:16:17,293
FOR SOME TIME NOW.

822
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:18,792
MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

823
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:18,792
IS TICKING.

824
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,750
THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING

825
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,750
I'VE EVER HEARD.

826
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,792
IS IT? I'M 44.

827
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,792
OR THAT IS.

828
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,418
YOU ARE ONE MEAN LADY.

829
00:16:24,459 --> 00:16:26,499
WE'RE NOT LEAVING

830
00:16:24,459 --> 00:16:26,499
WITHOUT FELIPE.

831
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:28,000
WELL, THEN,

832
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:28,000
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING.

833
00:16:28,042 --> 00:16:29,750
FINE!

834
00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:39,459
DID WE SETTLE ON

835
00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:39,459
"FELIPE"?

836
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:48,499
PHIL. HONEY,

837
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:48,499
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

838
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,293
ONE SECOND.

839
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:52,499
SO, I HAVE 20 FUR COATS

840
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:52,499
IN MY CLOSET,

841
00:16:52,541 --> 00:16:54,708
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE

842
00:16:52,541 --> 00:16:54,708
OF MY FRIENDS

843
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,541
WHO EVEN

844
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,541
WEARS THEM ANYMORE,

845
00:16:56,583 --> 00:17:00,000
SO YOU TELL ME

846
00:16:56,583 --> 00:17:00,000
WHO'S ENDANGERED.

847
00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:01,750
JILLIAN'S WAITING FOR YOU

848
00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:01,750
IN MY SEAT

849
00:17:01,792 --> 00:17:03,418
TO GIVE YOU

850
00:17:01,792 --> 00:17:03,418
A LITTLE BACK RUB.

851
00:17:03,458 --> 00:17:05,000
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

852
00:17:05,042 --> 00:17:06,750
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE

853
00:17:05,042 --> 00:17:06,750
SO GREAT THIS WEEKEND.

854
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,209
BUT YOU WERE,

855
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,209
SO THANK YOU.

856
00:17:09,251 --> 00:17:10,666
AND I SHOULD HAVE

857
00:17:09,251 --> 00:17:10,666
SAID THAT EARLIER.

858
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,084
MWAH!

859
00:17:12,126 --> 00:17:13,708
GO ENJOY

860
00:17:12,126 --> 00:17:13,708
THE REST OF YOUR FLIGHT.

861
00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:16,499
I'LL DEAL WITH THIS.

862
00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:16,499
"DEAL WITH THIS"?

863
00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:19,499
I'M A STATE SENATOR'S

864
00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:19,499
MISTRESS.

865
00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:21,959
YOU'RE MY HERO.

866
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,666
WIPE YOUR FEET

867
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,666
BEFORE YOU COME IN!

868
00:17:25,708 --> 00:17:27,334
LISTEN TO THAT.

869
00:17:27,376 --> 00:17:29,000
FIRST THING OUT OF HER MOUTH,

870
00:17:27,376 --> 00:17:29,000
SHE'S TELLING US WHAT TO DO.

871
00:17:29,042 --> 00:17:30,417
WELL, THAT STOPS TODAY.

872
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:31,750
WE GO IN STRONG.

873
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:31,750
WE HOLD OUR GROUND.

874
00:17:31,792 --> 00:17:33,959
WE LET HER KNOW

875
00:17:31,792 --> 00:17:33,959
SHE'S DONE PUSHING US AROUND.

876
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,917
MANNY,

877
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,917
WHY ARE YOU HOME SO EARLY?

878
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:37,541
DID YOU LET HIM

879
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:37,541
SKIP SCHOOL?

880
00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:40,126
NO, MOM, I WAS KICKED OUT

881
00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:40,126
FOR PUNCHING

882
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:42,708
A REALLY MISUNDERSTOOD KID,

883
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:42,708
THANKS TO YOU.

884
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,750
THANKS TO ME?

885
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,750
WHAT, DID ...

886
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,750
I TOLD HIM EVERYTHING.

887
00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:46,334
AND YOU KNOW

888
00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:46,334
WHAT WE REALIZED?

889
00:17:46,376 --> 00:17:49,334
THERE IS A BULLY IN OUR LIFE,

890
00:17:46,376 --> 00:17:49,334
AND IT'S YOU.

891
00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:52,499
YOU MAKE THE RULES,

892
00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:52,499
YOU BOSS US AROUND,

893
00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:54,541
AND WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT

894
00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:54,541
ANYMORE.

895
00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:54,541
MM. YEAH.

896
00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,376
AH, LOOK AT YOU TWO,

897
00:17:56,417 --> 00:17:58,417
STANDING UP

898
00:17:56,417 --> 00:17:58,417
TO THE BIG, SCARY BULLY

899
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,750
THAT LOVES YOU

900
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,750
AND PROTECTS YOU

901
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:03,334
AND WANTS YOU TO BE SAFE

902
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:03,334
IN THIS WORLD.

903
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:08,000
YOU'RE JUST TINY, LITTLE MEN

904
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:08,000
TO ME RIGHT NOW,

905
00:18:08,042 --> 00:18:11,084
AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE

906
00:18:08,042 --> 00:18:11,084
AND COME BACK WITH MORE RESPECT!

907
00:18:11,126 --> 00:18:12,458
AND A PIZZA.

908
00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:15,126
OH, WHAT?

909
00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:16,792
YOU NEED TO GO FIRST

910
00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:16,792
AND CHECK ON YOUR MASCARA?

911
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:18,375
WE DO NEED TO EAT.

912
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:18,375
YEAH.

913
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,499
I WOULDN'T MIND

914
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,499
SOME PIZZA.

915
00:18:19,541 --> 00:18:20,875
WE'RE NOT GETTING

916
00:18:19,541 --> 00:18:20,875
ANY PINEAPPLE.

917
00:18:20,917 --> 00:18:22,293
YOU ARE

918
00:18:20,917 --> 00:18:22,293
GETTING PINEAPPLE!

919
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,499
WE'RE TAKING IT OFF

920
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,499
OUR SLICES.

921
00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:24,792
DON'T WASTE ANY FOOD,

922
00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:24,792
JAY!

923
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:26,541
I THINK WE MADE OUR POINT.

924
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:26,541
TOTALLY.

925
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:29,499
WE'LL GET OUR OWN PIZZA ...

926
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:29,499
EAT IT IN THE CAR.

927
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,792
GIVE ME ONE REASON

928
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:36,499
WHY SAMMY SHOULD STAY HERE

929
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:36,499
TONIGHT INSTEAD OF WITH US.

930
00:18:36,541 --> 00:18:39,499
BECAUSE WE'RE EXPERIENCED

931
00:18:36,541 --> 00:18:39,499
PARENTS. WE HAVE A CRIB!

932
00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:42,209
WE HAVE A PEDIATRICIAN.

933
00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:42,209
OUR HOUSE IS BABYPROOFED.

934
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,417
OUR HOUSE WAS IN

935
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,417
ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST.

936
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:45,499
RONALDO, PLEASE,

937
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:45,499
YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

938
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,084
THEY DON'T KNOW

939
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,084
WHAT THAT IS.

940
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,499
HOW CAN YOU EVEN FIT ANOTHER

941
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,499
CHILD IN THIS SHOE BOX?

942
00:18:49,541 --> 00:18:50,792
YOU'RE POOR!

943
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:52,499
WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE

944
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:52,499
WITH A BIG YARD

945
00:18:52,541 --> 00:18:54,417
WHERE HE COULD THROW THE BALL

946
00:18:52,541 --> 00:18:54,417
WITH THE GARDENER.

947
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:57,209
OKAY, LOOK, IF ANYBODY'S GONNA

948
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:57,209
ADOPT SAMMY, IT'S GONNA BE US.

949
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:59,541
OH!

950
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:59,541
WHOA!

951
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:59,541
DO I HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS?

952
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,375
SAL!

953
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,375
OH, WELL, YOU'RE BACK.

954
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,000
WHAT THE HELL

955
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,000
ARE YOU FOUR DOING?

956
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,084
YOU WALKED OUT OF HERE AND LEFT

957
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,084
YOUR BABY WITHOUT SAYING A WORD,

958
00:19:06,126 --> 00:19:07,541
SO MAYBE WE'LL BE ASKING

959
00:19:06,126 --> 00:19:07,541
THE QUESTIONS.

960
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:09,499
I TOLD JOHN JOHN

961
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:09,499
WHERE I WAS GOING.

962
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:11,499
THE DRUNKEST GUY AT THE PARTY.

963
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:11,499
EXCUSE ME

964
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:11,499
FOR NOT WANTING

965
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,333
TO INTERRUPT

966
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,333
YOUR FIERCE DEBATE ...

967
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,959
"WHO'S HOTTER, MR. CLEAN

968
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,959
OR THE BRAWNY PAPER TOWEL MAN?"

969
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,499
MR. CLEAN.

970
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,499
BRAWNY PAPER TOWEL GUY.

971
00:19:17,541 --> 00:19:18,792
WE'RE NOT

972
00:19:17,541 --> 00:19:18,792
GOING BACK THERE.

973
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,417
THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN

974
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,417
WHY YOU WOULD LEAVE

975
00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,209
IN THE MIDDLE

976
00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,209
OF YOUR OWN BABY SHOWER.

977
00:19:22,251 --> 00:19:24,126
I GOT FREAKED OUT WHEN JOTHAM

978
00:19:22,251 --> 00:19:24,126
MENTIONED THE BLACKHAWKS.

979
00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,084
EVERY TIME.

980
00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,084
I HEAR IT EVERY TIME.

981
00:19:26,126 --> 00:19:27,583
SAMMY'S DAD IS ON THE TEAM,

982
00:19:26,126 --> 00:19:27,583
OKAY?

983
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,499
AND HE DIDN'T KNOW

984
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,499
SAMMY EXISTED ...

985
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:31,792
AT LEAST NOT UNTIL I JUST WENT

986
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:31,792
DOWN THERE AND I TOLD HIM.

987
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:33,666
OH, GOSH. WHAT HAPPENED?

988
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:33,666
HOW DID HE TAKE IT?

989
00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:35,167
IT TURNS OUT

990
00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:35,167
HE'S MARRIED.

991
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:37,375
YEAH, I COULD HAVE GOOGLED THAT.

992
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:37,375
SO HE'S OUT.

993
00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:40,084
AND YOU THOUGHT

994
00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:40,084
I DESERTED MY OWN BABY?

995
00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:41,499
YOU DID LEAVE.

996
00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,375
AND THEN WHAT ...

997
00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,375
WHAT'S UP WITH THIS NOTE, HUH?

998
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:44,708
LOOK ...

999
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:44,708
"I'M SORRY TO LEAVE THIS WAY.

1000
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,499
I'M NOT PROUD OF IT,

1001
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,499
BUT I JUST CAN'T DO THIS."

1002
00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:47,583
THIS DIAPER BAG

1003
00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,959
IS JUST A RECYCLED PURSE

1004
00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,959
FROM MY SINGLE DAYS!

1005
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,541
I GOT A LOT OF THESE NOTES

1006
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,541
LYING AROUND FOR QUICK GETAWAYS.

1007
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,541
YOU GUYS DON'T THINK

1008
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,541
THAT I CAN DO THIS, DO YOU?

1009
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,541
NO!

1010
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,499
WE ALWAYS THOUGHT

1011
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,499
YOU COULD DO IT.

1012
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,499
I CERTAINLY DON'T.

1013
00:19:58,541 --> 00:19:59,708
WE DON'T THINK

1014
00:19:58,541 --> 00:19:59,708
YOU CAN'T DO IT.

1015
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,209
SHUT UP! I DON'T THINK

1016
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,209
I CAN DO IT, EITHER!

1017
00:20:01,251 --> 00:20:02,499
OH, SAL.

1018
00:20:02,541 --> 00:20:05,000
I MEAN, IT'S JUST

1019
00:20:05,042 --> 00:20:06,708
SO HARD.

1020
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:09,541
I FEEL SO GUILTY THAT HE DOESN'T

1021
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:09,541
HAVE A DAD IN THE PICTURE.

1022
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,499
I DON'T KNOW. I'M TRYING

1023
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,499
TO DO EVERYTHING PERFECTLY.

1024
00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:12,917
IT'S EXHAUSTING.

1025
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,417
AND I HAVEN'T HAD SEX

1026
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,417
IN LIKE A YEAR.

1027
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:20,333
OH!

1028
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:20,333
OH.

1029
00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:22,708
THIS LITTLE DUDE ...

1030
00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:26,499
HE'S THE ONE THING IN MY LIFE

1031
00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:26,499
THAT I CANNOT MESS UP.

1032
00:20:29,042 --> 00:20:30,583
I JUST WISH I COULD

1033
00:20:29,042 --> 00:20:30,583
GIVE HIM A DAD.

1034
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:33,499
WELL...

1035
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:33,499
WHAT ABOUT US?

1036
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,708
WE COULD BE

1037
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,708
SAMMY'S DAD.

1038
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,708
ALL OF US.

1039
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:37,375
YEAH, SAL,

1040
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:37,375
WE LOVE YOU,

1041
00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:39,000
AND WE'RE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU ...

1042
00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:39,000
WHATEVER YOU NEED.

1043
00:20:39,042 --> 00:20:41,126
EXCEPT WE'LL BE IN CAPRI

1044
00:20:39,042 --> 00:20:41,126
ALL OF JULY.

1045
00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:42,499
SERIOUSLY, SAL,

1046
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,708
YOU AND SAMMY

1047
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,708
WILL NEVER BE ALONE.

1048
00:20:44,750 --> 00:20:47,333
YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET.

1049
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,084
WAIT.

1050
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,084
JUNE'S NO GOOD, EITHER.

1051
00:20:49,126 --> 00:20:51,333
I'M GETTING MY NECK DONE.

1052
00:20:57,541 --> 00:20:58,917
OH, MY GOD!

1053
00:20:57,541 --> 00:20:58,917
WHAT DID YOU DO?

1054
00:20:57,541 --> 00:20:58,917
WE STUCK UP FOR YOU.

1055
00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:00,208
YEAH,

1056
00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:00,208
ROSE HAD IT COMING.

1057
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,875
SHE CAN'T TALK TO YOU

1058
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,875
THE WAY WE DO.

1059
00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:03,708
WELL, ROSE FORWARDED

1060
00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:03,708
YOUR TEXT TO SARAH,

1061
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:05,959
AND NOW SARAH DOESN'T WANT

1062
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:05,959
TO GO OUT WITH ME.

1063
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,375
GIVE ME THAT PHONE.

1064
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:09,666
WHAT DID THIS SKANK SARAH

1065
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:09,666
SAY TO YOU?

1066
00:21:09,708 --> 00:21:11,084
HUH.

1067
00:21:11,126 --> 00:21:13,292
MM, YEAH. OUCH.

1068
00:21:11,126 --> 00:21:13,292
GOOD OPENING.

1069
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,708
THAT'S SO FUNNY!

1070
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,708
WE TOTALLY DESERVED THAT.

1071
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:18,126
TOTALLY!

1072
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:18,126
GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.

1073
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,708
MM.

1074
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,708
OH, MY GOD.

1075
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,708
I LOVE HER.

1076
00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:21,333
ME, TOO.

1077
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,750
DON'T WORRY, LUKE.

1078
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,750
WE'RE GONNA WIN HER BACK.

1079
00:21:22,792 --> 00:21:24,458
WE'RE JUST G...

1080
00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:25,833
LUKE?

1081
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:29,750
YOU THINK MAYBE

1082
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:29,750
WE NEED DATES OF OUR OWN?

1083
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:29,750
SO BAD.

1084
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:36,166
Captions by VITAC ...