1 00:00:02,405 --> 00:00:03,696 Haley, 2 00:00:02,405 --> 00:00:03,696 your dad's on the phone. 3 00:00:03,696 --> 00:00:05,571 He says it's urgent. 4 00:00:05,571 --> 00:00:07,446 He's with a surgeon? 5 00:00:05,571 --> 00:00:07,446 I think he said "sturgeon." 6 00:00:07,446 --> 00:00:09,530 Cam, is it "surgeon" 7 00:00:07,446 --> 00:00:09,530 or "sturgeon"? 8 00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:12,196 I am ripping these stupid braces 9 00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:12,196 off the second I get home. 10 00:00:12,196 --> 00:00:15,196 Phil, hold on. I'm gonna put 11 00:00:12,196 --> 00:00:15,196 you on speakerphone, okay? 12 00:00:15,196 --> 00:00:16,780 Andy's 13 00:00:15,196 --> 00:00:16,780 on his way to propose to Beth! 14 00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:18,113 We can't hear anything! 15 00:00:18,113 --> 00:00:19,613 Just toss me 16 00:00:18,113 --> 00:00:19,613 the phone. 17 00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:21,238 No! 18 00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:21,238 No, no. 19 00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:21,238 No, you're right. 20 00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,905 We all have our strengths. 21 00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,905 I'm a great gift giver. 22 00:00:22,905 --> 00:00:24,488 Here, Cam. 23 00:00:22,905 --> 00:00:24,488 Oh. 24 00:00:24,488 --> 00:00:26,030 Dad? 25 00:00:26,030 --> 00:00:27,780 Haley, Andy's on his way 26 00:00:26,030 --> 00:00:27,780 to propose to Beth! 27 00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:29,071 Aww! 28 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,071 That's very sweet! 29 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,071 It's not sweet! 30 00:00:31,071 --> 00:00:33,405 Haley and Andy love each other, 31 00:00:31,071 --> 00:00:33,405 but they don't know it! 32 00:00:33,405 --> 00:00:35,071 Whoa. 33 00:00:33,405 --> 00:00:35,071 Is that true, honey? 34 00:00:35,071 --> 00:00:36,863 Dad, what makes you think 35 00:00:35,071 --> 00:00:36,863 he's in love with me? 36 00:00:36,863 --> 00:00:38,696 I could tell by the way 37 00:00:36,863 --> 00:00:38,696 he hugged you goodbye. 38 00:00:38,696 --> 00:00:40,571 Phil, are you sure 39 00:00:38,696 --> 00:00:40,571 about this? 40 00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:43,405 Claire, I think I know the look 41 00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:43,405 of love in another man's eyes. 42 00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:45,905 This is crazy. 43 00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:45,905 Should I call him? 44 00:00:45,905 --> 00:00:48,071 His phone's off, but he said 45 00:00:45,905 --> 00:00:48,071 he was going to the beach. 46 00:00:48,071 --> 00:00:50,238 I know what beach he likes. 47 00:00:50,238 --> 00:00:52,988 I thought you were 48 00:00:50,238 --> 00:00:52,988 the "beach" he likes. 49 00:00:57,238 --> 00:00:59,071 Oh, God, 50 00:00:57,238 --> 00:00:59,071 there they are. 51 00:00:59,071 --> 00:01:01,030 Should I do this? 52 00:00:59,071 --> 00:01:01,030 I shouldn't do this. 53 00:01:01,030 --> 00:01:02,530 I'm gonna do this. 54 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,696 W... Honey, honey, 55 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,696 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 56 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:07,238 You got to be 57 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:07,238 really sure of this. 58 00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:10,780 You're gonna go over there 59 00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:10,780 and break them up for what? 60 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:14,946 To hang out or to date 61 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:14,946 until the next guy comes along? 62 00:01:14,946 --> 00:01:16,613 Who knows? 63 00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:18,946 But shouldn't we get a chance 64 00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:18,946 to find out what we are? 65 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,946 I'm just saying 66 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,946 look down the road a little. 67 00:01:21,946 --> 00:01:25,113 You're 21, 68 00:01:21,946 --> 00:01:25,113 and that looks like a guy 69 00:01:25,113 --> 00:01:26,946 who is ready 70 00:01:25,113 --> 00:01:26,946 to settle down. 71 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,196 Yeah. 72 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,196 Well, um... 73 00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:40,155 I guess it's decided for me. 74 00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:40,155 Yeah. 75 00:01:40,155 --> 00:01:42,196 I feel like 76 00:01:40,155 --> 00:01:42,196 such an idiot. 77 00:01:42,196 --> 00:01:44,405 No. Honey, no, no, no, no, no. 78 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,613 You have nothing 79 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,613 to be ashamed of. 80 00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:48,113 Oh, God! 81 00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:48,113 Here they come! Hide! 82 00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:50,905 Just ... Oh... 83 00:02:06,405 --> 00:02:08,988 Oh, God. Oh. 84 00:02:08,988 --> 00:02:10,155 Daddy looks tense. 85 00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:12,655 He's just paying bills. 86 00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:14,488 Is everything okay, 87 00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:14,488 honey? 88 00:02:14,488 --> 00:02:15,863 Oh, you walked over here. 89 00:02:15,863 --> 00:02:17,238 I just thought 90 00:02:15,863 --> 00:02:17,238 you Uber-ed everywhere. 91 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,030 Okay. 92 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,030 Okay, I got to breathe. 93 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:20,571 That's still free, 94 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:20,571 isn't it? 95 00:02:20,571 --> 00:02:22,071 Mitchell, 96 00:02:20,571 --> 00:02:22,071 it's not that bad. 97 00:02:22,071 --> 00:02:23,696 Really? Because I haven't 98 00:02:22,071 --> 00:02:23,696 worked in weeks. 99 00:02:23,696 --> 00:02:25,196 I have no prospects. 100 00:02:25,196 --> 00:02:26,905 We're living off 101 00:02:25,196 --> 00:02:26,905 of a gym teacher's salary, 102 00:02:26,905 --> 00:02:29,071 and ... 103 00:02:26,905 --> 00:02:29,071 and somehow I let you 104 00:02:29,071 --> 00:02:30,738 talk me into buying 105 00:02:29,071 --> 00:02:30,738 the apartment upstairs. 106 00:02:30,738 --> 00:02:32,905 What's going on? Are we poor? 107 00:02:32,905 --> 00:02:35,238 No, while other daddy 108 00:02:32,905 --> 00:02:35,238 looks for a job, 109 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,488 I'm gonna be 110 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,488 taking on some work 111 00:02:36,488 --> 00:02:38,030 as a summertime 112 00:02:36,488 --> 00:02:38,030 driver's ed teacher. 113 00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:39,405 How much can that pay? 114 00:02:39,405 --> 00:02:40,780 Every little bit helps. 115 00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:42,071 And besides, Mitchell, 116 00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:42,071 before you know it, 117 00:02:42,071 --> 00:02:43,655 you're gonna be back 118 00:02:42,071 --> 00:02:43,655 in a stuffy office 119 00:02:43,655 --> 00:02:45,196 with some stuffy lawyers, 120 00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:47,696 wishing you had taken advantage 121 00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:47,696 of this time. 122 00:02:47,696 --> 00:02:49,030 Am I right? 123 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,905 Well, that doesn't 124 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,905 not sound like me. 125 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:52,738 Exactly, so why don't 126 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:52,738 you take this chance... 127 00:02:52,738 --> 00:02:55,446 to do something fun, 128 00:02:52,738 --> 00:02:55,446 find a hobby? 129 00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:58,280 You know, every time we go 130 00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:58,280 to a gallery, you always say, 131 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,780 "I could paint something 132 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,780 that stupid." 133 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,363 Well, prove it. 134 00:03:01,363 --> 00:03:03,780 You know what? I have. 135 00:03:01,363 --> 00:03:03,780 I've always wanted to paint. 136 00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:06,113 And the place upstairs is 137 00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:06,113 gonna be a rental gold mine ... 138 00:03:06,113 --> 00:03:08,530 Once we paint it, we furnish it, 139 00:03:06,113 --> 00:03:08,530 we fix the electric, 140 00:03:08,530 --> 00:03:10,071 redo the plumbing, 141 00:03:10,071 --> 00:03:12,821 and figure out why that 142 00:03:10,071 --> 00:03:12,821 brown spot won't stop growing. 143 00:03:12,821 --> 00:03:15,113 It's growing? 144 00:03:15,113 --> 00:03:18,363 Wow, did you two really just 145 00:03:15,113 --> 00:03:18,363 waste your entire day quilting? 146 00:03:18,363 --> 00:03:21,196 We had a wonderful time, 147 00:03:18,363 --> 00:03:21,196 didn't we, sweetie? 148 00:03:21,196 --> 00:03:23,030 I'm not crying anymore. 149 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,863 To help get her mind 150 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,863 off of Andy, 151 00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:26,363 Haley and I have 152 00:03:24,863 --> 00:03:26,363 been making a quilt 153 00:03:26,363 --> 00:03:28,696 out of all her old clothes... 154 00:03:28,696 --> 00:03:31,196 and some stuff I need Phil 155 00:03:28,696 --> 00:03:31,196 to stop wearing. 156 00:03:31,196 --> 00:03:34,530 Oh, cool. That square is the 157 00:03:31,196 --> 00:03:34,530 same pattern as my Kangol hat. 158 00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:37,030 Can you believe how gorgeous 159 00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:37,030 it is outside? 160 00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:38,738 And now it's gorgeous inside. 161 00:03:39,863 --> 00:03:41,530 Because you're inside. 162 00:03:39,863 --> 00:03:41,530 Was that clear? 163 00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,446 Hey, do you want to go quiz me 164 00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,446 on the periodic table? 165 00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:44,946 Oxygen potassium. 166 00:03:44,946 --> 00:03:47,196 Ohh, he just used the elements 167 00:03:44,946 --> 00:03:47,196 to say "okay." 168 00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:50,988 Oh, well, 169 00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:50,988 that was fun for me. 170 00:03:50,988 --> 00:03:53,071 Mom, can we drink now? 171 00:03:53,071 --> 00:03:55,030 Honey, it's lunchtime. 172 00:03:53,071 --> 00:03:55,030 Ohh. 173 00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:56,405 That's a "yes." 174 00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,738 Why do I feel like 175 00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,738 you're enjoying this? 176 00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:03,488 What? 177 00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:03,488 Sad Haley 178 00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:03,488 needs her mommy again. 179 00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:04,821 Oh, that's ridiculous. 180 00:04:04,821 --> 00:04:05,988 I'm just helping her 181 00:04:04,821 --> 00:04:05,988 channel her broken heart 182 00:04:05,988 --> 00:04:07,738 into something 183 00:04:05,988 --> 00:04:07,738 more positive. 184 00:04:07,738 --> 00:04:10,280 Please, that's the saddest 185 00:04:07,738 --> 00:04:10,280 blanket since the AIDS quilt. 186 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,905 Haley's wallowing in self-pity, 187 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,905 and you're feeding off of it. 188 00:04:12,905 --> 00:04:14,405 You don't know what 189 00:04:12,905 --> 00:04:14,405 you're talking about. 190 00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:16,321 Mom, I'm just gonna 191 00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:16,321 go take a nap. 192 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:17,821 Oh, sweetheart, do you 193 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:17,821 want me to snuggle with you 194 00:04:17,821 --> 00:04:19,113 till you fall asleep? 195 00:04:19,113 --> 00:04:21,030 Okay, that's it. 196 00:04:19,113 --> 00:04:21,030 Pity party's over. 197 00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:23,863 Time for some Dunphy fun. 198 00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:23,863 We are going to the movies. 199 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,863 When was the last time 200 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,863 you showered? 201 00:04:25,863 --> 00:04:27,155 What day is it? 202 00:04:27,155 --> 00:04:28,155 We will wait. 203 00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:32,280 I know you can't tell me, 204 00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:32,280 but that B. Willis jungle gym ... 205 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,946 That's Bruce Willis, 206 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,946 right? 207 00:04:33,946 --> 00:04:35,571 His kid goes here? 208 00:04:35,571 --> 00:04:38,238 Well, we do pride ourselves 209 00:04:35,571 --> 00:04:38,238 on privacy here at Davenport, 210 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,571 but, uh, you may have 211 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,571 a "sixth sense" about this. 212 00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:42,738 I'll be damned. 213 00:04:42,738 --> 00:04:44,113 He looks like 214 00:04:42,738 --> 00:04:44,113 the kind of guy 215 00:04:44,113 --> 00:04:45,488 you want to have 216 00:04:44,113 --> 00:04:45,488 a beer with, you know? 217 00:04:45,488 --> 00:04:47,863 We have one educator 218 00:04:45,488 --> 00:04:47,863 for every four children ... 219 00:04:47,863 --> 00:04:49,363 I have a question. 220 00:04:49,363 --> 00:04:51,071 Uh, I attend high school 221 00:04:49,363 --> 00:04:51,071 with one of your graduates, 222 00:04:51,071 --> 00:04:52,738 a Theodore Durkas. 223 00:04:52,738 --> 00:04:55,488 Did you turn him into a monster, 224 00:04:52,738 --> 00:04:55,488 or was he always like that? 225 00:04:55,488 --> 00:04:57,280 I actually remember 226 00:04:55,488 --> 00:04:57,280 Teddy Durkas. 227 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,446 He was a lovely boy. 228 00:04:58,446 --> 00:04:59,863 I'll give him your regards 229 00:04:59,863 --> 00:05:01,488 next time he's making 230 00:04:59,863 --> 00:05:01,488 one of my nurples purple. 231 00:05:03,488 --> 00:05:05,155 Ay, Joe, 232 00:05:03,488 --> 00:05:05,155 what did you do? 233 00:05:05,155 --> 00:05:06,821 Oh, 234 00:05:05,155 --> 00:05:06,821 it's not his fault. 235 00:05:06,821 --> 00:05:08,905 These cubbies were donated 236 00:05:06,821 --> 00:05:08,905 by a former parent 237 00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:10,488 who fancied himself 238 00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:10,488 a carpenter. 239 00:05:10,488 --> 00:05:13,196 I can't say who, 240 00:05:10,488 --> 00:05:13,196 but it is ironic 241 00:05:13,196 --> 00:05:16,071 that he couldn't use a hammer, 242 00:05:13,196 --> 00:05:16,071 and now we "can't touch this." 243 00:05:16,071 --> 00:05:17,988 You keep saying you can't say, 244 00:05:16,071 --> 00:05:17,988 and then you say. 245 00:05:17,988 --> 00:05:19,821 It's just nice to talk 246 00:05:17,988 --> 00:05:19,821 to adults. 247 00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:22,696 Hey, we're sold. 248 00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:22,696 You want Joe? He's yours. 249 00:05:22,696 --> 00:05:25,446 It was very smart of you 250 00:05:22,696 --> 00:05:25,446 to get a jump on next year. 251 00:05:25,446 --> 00:05:27,613 Next year? What ... 252 00:05:25,446 --> 00:05:27,613 What about this year? 253 00:05:27,613 --> 00:05:30,280 Oh, uh, we enroll 254 00:05:27,613 --> 00:05:30,280 at least a year out. 255 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,530 And even then, there's 256 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,530 a significant waiting list. 257 00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:34,696 You're kidding. 258 00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:34,696 I'm sorry, Mr. Pritchett. 259 00:05:34,696 --> 00:05:36,196 Uh... 260 00:05:36,196 --> 00:05:38,530 You could try 261 00:05:36,196 --> 00:05:38,530 the Learnin' Barn. 262 00:05:38,530 --> 00:05:40,696 Ah, yes. 263 00:05:38,530 --> 00:05:40,696 That sounds very nice. 264 00:05:40,696 --> 00:05:42,530 The Learnin' Barn 265 00:05:40,696 --> 00:05:42,530 sounds nice? 266 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:44,696 Yes, in my village, 267 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:44,696 only the richest kids 268 00:05:44,696 --> 00:05:47,405 were allowed to learn 269 00:05:44,696 --> 00:05:47,405 inside the barn. 270 00:05:47,405 --> 00:05:50,405 Hope you guys 271 00:05:47,405 --> 00:05:50,405 like dinosaurs. 272 00:05:50,405 --> 00:05:54,196 I got us tickets to "The Second 273 00:05:50,405 --> 00:05:54,196 Best Exotic Marigold Hotel." 274 00:05:54,196 --> 00:05:55,738 I know you're kidding, 275 00:05:55,738 --> 00:05:58,738 but I found the first one 276 00:05:55,738 --> 00:05:58,738 incredibly moving. 277 00:05:58,738 --> 00:06:01,238 I never realized how many people 278 00:05:58,738 --> 00:06:01,238 hold hands in malls. 279 00:06:01,238 --> 00:06:03,071 And now that gays 280 00:06:01,238 --> 00:06:03,071 are legal or whatever, 281 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,738 it's basically everyone. 282 00:06:04,738 --> 00:06:06,613 Oh, honey, I'll hold your hand. 283 00:06:04,738 --> 00:06:06,613 Come here. 284 00:06:06,613 --> 00:06:08,405 Is that Dylan? 285 00:06:09,446 --> 00:06:11,446 No. No, that's ... 286 00:06:09,446 --> 00:06:11,446 that's definitely not Dylan. 287 00:06:11,446 --> 00:06:12,488 Dylan! 288 00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:15,363 Hello, Dunphy family! 289 00:06:15,363 --> 00:06:16,488 What the what? 290 00:06:16,488 --> 00:06:18,321 How you doing, buddy? 291 00:06:18,321 --> 00:06:20,946 Life's a roller coaster, 292 00:06:18,321 --> 00:06:20,946 but I'm tall enough to ride. 293 00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:22,280 True dat. 294 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,071 Haley, you look 295 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,071 as yummy as ever. 296 00:06:24,071 --> 00:06:26,655 Thanks. 297 00:06:24,071 --> 00:06:26,655 What's going on? 298 00:06:26,655 --> 00:06:28,155 So, I'm designing 299 00:06:26,655 --> 00:06:28,155 T-shirts now, 300 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,363 and I'm trying to get 301 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,363 the stores to sell them. 302 00:06:30,363 --> 00:06:31,363 I'm wearing one. 303 00:06:31,363 --> 00:06:32,530 "Lie"? 304 00:06:31,363 --> 00:06:32,530 "Live." 305 00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,571 The neck is the "V." 306 00:06:33,571 --> 00:06:35,071 Game changer. 307 00:06:35,071 --> 00:06:37,113 Yeah, and I've got all 308 00:06:35,071 --> 00:06:37,113 these great "V" words. 309 00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:38,780 "Love,"dove" ... 310 00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:39,905 Leave. 311 00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:39,905 "governor." 312 00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:42,613 Wow, that is 313 00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:42,613 such a cool idea. 314 00:06:42,613 --> 00:06:44,030 It's so good 315 00:06:42,613 --> 00:06:44,030 to see you. 316 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:45,821 Do you want to get 317 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:45,821 some coffee sometime? 318 00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:47,655 I'm not doing anything 319 00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:47,655 right now. 320 00:06:47,655 --> 00:06:49,613 Uh, movie. 321 00:06:49,613 --> 00:06:52,113 Nice try, but not 322 00:06:49,613 --> 00:06:52,113 all "V" words work, Mrs. D. 323 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:56,405 Have fun, you two. 324 00:06:56,405 --> 00:06:59,488 "Hey, Dylan!" 325 00:07:04,155 --> 00:07:05,530 Mitchell, are you aware 326 00:07:05,530 --> 00:07:06,738 our daughter's eating 327 00:07:05,530 --> 00:07:06,738 a ketchup sandwich? 328 00:07:06,738 --> 00:07:08,280 Good, 329 00:07:06,738 --> 00:07:08,280 she found something. 330 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:09,780 Oh, so, you didn't go 331 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:09,780 grocery shopping today. 332 00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,446 I am gonna go, 333 00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,446 but after yoga. 334 00:07:11,446 --> 00:07:13,113 Hey ... Hey, 335 00:07:11,446 --> 00:07:13,113 you should come with me, 336 00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:14,655 'cause you seem 337 00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:14,655 really tense. 338 00:07:14,655 --> 00:07:16,821 Oh, well, maybe they have 339 00:07:14,655 --> 00:07:16,821 a five-minute class 340 00:07:16,821 --> 00:07:19,196 I could sneak in between 341 00:07:16,821 --> 00:07:19,196 football camp and driver's ed? 342 00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:23,113 No, I'm very proud of you 343 00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:23,113 and your grapefruit. 344 00:07:23,113 --> 00:07:25,613 Chrysler Building. 345 00:07:23,113 --> 00:07:25,613 Mitchell really embraced 346 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,780 this whole 347 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,780 "take a little break" thing 348 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,155 far more than I expected. 349 00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:30,030 But for years, 350 00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:30,030 he supported both of us 351 00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:32,196 while I pursued my passions ... 352 00:07:32,196 --> 00:07:35,030 photography, hip-hop dancing, 353 00:07:32,196 --> 00:07:35,030 fox hunting. 354 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:38,863 So I couldn't be the one 355 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:38,863 to tell him to get a job. 356 00:07:38,863 --> 00:07:41,113 But maybe somebody else could. 357 00:07:44,405 --> 00:07:47,280 Hey, Charlie? 358 00:07:44,405 --> 00:07:47,280 It's ... It's, uh, Cameron. 359 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,155 My husband Mitchell 360 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,155 used to work for you. 361 00:07:49,155 --> 00:07:50,488 Oh! 362 00:07:50,488 --> 00:07:51,571 I remember you. 363 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,446 Yeah, 364 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,446 what a nice surprise. 365 00:07:53,446 --> 00:07:55,613 I know! Crazy! 366 00:07:55,613 --> 00:07:57,946 Crazy like that fox 367 00:07:55,613 --> 00:07:57,946 I told Mitchell was chicken. 368 00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:01,571 Was it clear? 369 00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:01,571 I-I stalked Charlie. 370 00:08:01,571 --> 00:08:03,113 I can't believe it. 371 00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:05,155 Mitchell and I were just talking 372 00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:05,155 about you last night. 373 00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:06,696 How are you? 374 00:08:06,696 --> 00:08:08,571 Well, I don't want to 375 00:08:06,696 --> 00:08:08,571 burden you with my problems. 376 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:11,155 Uh, I think 377 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:11,155 I've outgrown my boat. 378 00:08:11,155 --> 00:08:12,405 Oh. 379 00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:13,988 Hey, how is Mitchell? 380 00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:13,988 He's fine. 381 00:08:13,988 --> 00:08:15,988 Actually, he's fielding 382 00:08:13,988 --> 00:08:15,988 a few job offers right now, 383 00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:17,363 and he's running 384 00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:17,363 into problems 385 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,738 because he keeps comparing 386 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,738 everyone to you. 387 00:08:19,738 --> 00:08:20,988 Huh. 388 00:08:20,988 --> 00:08:22,196 Sometimes I think 389 00:08:20,988 --> 00:08:22,196 the only thing 390 00:08:22,196 --> 00:08:23,405 that's gonna make him 391 00:08:22,196 --> 00:08:23,405 feel better 392 00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:26,530 is if you offered him 393 00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:26,530 another job. 394 00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,905 What the hell? 395 00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,905 I'll do it. 396 00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:29,905 Really? 397 00:08:27,905 --> 00:08:29,905 Yeah, I'm getting a new boat. 398 00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:32,405 Oh. 399 00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:32,405 And I will talk 400 00:08:29,905 --> 00:08:32,405 to Mitchell. 401 00:08:32,405 --> 00:08:34,238 I miss that $3 bill. 402 00:08:36,196 --> 00:08:38,321 You scheduled 403 00:08:36,196 --> 00:08:38,321 your breakup? 404 00:08:38,321 --> 00:08:40,821 Yes, Labor Day. 405 00:08:38,321 --> 00:08:40,821 That's when I leave for school. 406 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,363 86% of long-distance 407 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,363 relationships end in failure. 408 00:08:43,363 --> 00:08:45,863 It's the only logical 409 00:08:43,363 --> 00:08:45,863 course of action. 410 00:08:45,863 --> 00:08:48,696 That is the least romantic thing 411 00:08:45,863 --> 00:08:48,696 I've ever heard. 412 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,196 Stay together. 413 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,696 Wrong. Break up. 414 00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:54,196 College is the sexiest 415 00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:54,196 candy store in the world. 416 00:08:54,196 --> 00:08:56,196 You don't want to show up 417 00:08:54,196 --> 00:08:56,196 with your jaws wired shut. 418 00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:58,446 No, take it 419 00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:58,446 from Haley and me. 420 00:08:58,446 --> 00:09:00,446 It's hard to be apart 421 00:08:58,446 --> 00:09:00,446 and then together 422 00:09:00,446 --> 00:09:02,446 and then apart 423 00:09:00,446 --> 00:09:02,446 and then together 424 00:09:02,446 --> 00:09:04,946 and then apart and then 425 00:09:02,446 --> 00:09:04,946 turned down by the Marines 426 00:09:04,946 --> 00:09:06,655 and then together. 427 00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:09,696 Ugh. I can't believe we've got 428 00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:09,696 that dodo back in our lives. 429 00:09:09,696 --> 00:09:11,280 At least Haley's happy. 430 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,405 Honey, could you at least 431 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,405 take that T-shirt off? 432 00:09:13,405 --> 00:09:16,446 They loved it at the deli. 433 00:09:13,405 --> 00:09:16,446 They were kvelling. 434 00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:17,530 Hey-oh! 435 00:09:17,530 --> 00:09:19,113 Andy! 436 00:09:17,530 --> 00:09:19,113 Hi. 437 00:09:19,113 --> 00:09:20,863 Sorry to interrupt. 438 00:09:19,113 --> 00:09:20,863 I just want to get these to you. 439 00:09:20,863 --> 00:09:22,696 Here is the closing on Baywood. 440 00:09:20,863 --> 00:09:22,696 Awesome. 441 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,905 And this is the Johnsons' offer, 442 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,905 all set for signatures. 443 00:09:25,905 --> 00:09:27,238 You've done a real mitzvah, 444 00:09:25,905 --> 00:09:27,238 buddy. 445 00:09:27,238 --> 00:09:29,238 I hope that's good. 446 00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:30,905 Oh, hey. 447 00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:32,280 Hey. 448 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,988 I ... It's been awhile 449 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,988 since I've seen you. 450 00:09:34,988 --> 00:09:36,946 Yeah, I've been putting 451 00:09:34,988 --> 00:09:36,946 a lot of hours in, 452 00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:38,988 trying to earn extra money 453 00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:38,988 for this wedding. 454 00:09:38,988 --> 00:09:41,738 Hola. I'm Dylan, 455 00:09:38,988 --> 00:09:41,738 Haley's boyfriend. 456 00:09:41,738 --> 00:09:43,321 Uh, hey. I'm Andy. 457 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:46,571 I didn't realize you two 458 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:46,571 were back together. 459 00:09:46,571 --> 00:09:47,655 Oh, yeah. 460 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,530 We're like magnets... 461 00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:52,071 that sometimes take a break 462 00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:52,071 to date other magnets. 463 00:09:52,071 --> 00:09:54,071 What happened was 464 00:09:52,071 --> 00:09:54,071 we were together, 465 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,905 and then we were apart. 466 00:09:55,905 --> 00:09:58,071 Thank you so much 467 00:09:55,905 --> 00:09:58,071 for making time for us today. 468 00:09:58,071 --> 00:10:00,071 Oh, I'm sorry 469 00:09:58,071 --> 00:10:00,071 it took so long, 470 00:10:00,071 --> 00:10:02,905 but the faculty kind of 471 00:10:00,071 --> 00:10:02,905 scatters for the summer. 472 00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:06,780 I drove my van to Maine 473 00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:06,780 and planted beans. 474 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,613 Let me guess ... 475 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,613 and killed a giant. 476 00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:12,113 Chicken! 477 00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:12,113 What the ... Joe! 478 00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:13,571 Joe, come back here. 479 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,113 Oh, it's okay. 480 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,113 The chickens won't hurt him. 481 00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:16,613 They're used to the kids. 482 00:10:16,613 --> 00:10:18,196 Chickens 483 00:10:16,613 --> 00:10:18,196 are part of this? 484 00:10:18,196 --> 00:10:20,363 We like to utilize 485 00:10:18,196 --> 00:10:20,363 the setting here in the hills, 486 00:10:20,363 --> 00:10:23,280 make nature 487 00:10:20,363 --> 00:10:23,280 a part of the experience. 488 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:27,030 We sometimes see mice or 489 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:27,030 raccoons or little squirrels. 490 00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:28,905 You know they got traps 491 00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:28,905 for those kind of things. 492 00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:31,530 Ay, I love it. Joe gets to 493 00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:31,530 run around in the fresh air. 494 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,780 Erica, I need you! 495 00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:35,905 I'm sorry. Excuse me. 496 00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:39,196 We're out of here. 497 00:10:39,196 --> 00:10:40,905 She's a loon, 498 00:10:39,196 --> 00:10:40,905 letting kids call her "Erica" 499 00:10:40,905 --> 00:10:42,155 like they're 500 00:10:40,905 --> 00:10:42,155 poker buddies. 501 00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:44,030 We're too late 502 00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:44,030 for anywhere else. 503 00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:46,030 If Bruce Willis 504 00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:46,030 can jungle-gym his way 505 00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:48,821 into that fancy school, 506 00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:48,821 then I can... 507 00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,488 I don't know ... 508 00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,488 I can cubbie my way in. 509 00:10:50,488 --> 00:10:52,488 They hate their cubbies? 510 00:10:50,488 --> 00:10:52,488 I'll make them new ones. 511 00:10:52,488 --> 00:10:54,155 Cubbies are nothing 512 00:10:52,488 --> 00:10:54,155 but little closets. 513 00:10:54,155 --> 00:10:56,155 Ay, but look at Joe. 514 00:10:54,155 --> 00:10:56,155 He loves it. 515 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,405 He's chasing 516 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,405 after the chickens. 517 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:02,155 He even caught one. 518 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:02,155 Huh. 519 00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:03,821 Oh, no! No! 520 00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:05,821 No, Joe! Let go! 521 00:11:07,488 --> 00:11:10,988 We will be very happy 522 00:11:07,488 --> 00:11:10,988 to pay for that chicken. 523 00:11:10,988 --> 00:11:12,613 Mitchell, Mitchell! 524 00:11:12,613 --> 00:11:14,988 Look who I bumped 525 00:11:12,613 --> 00:11:14,988 into accidentally by chance. 526 00:11:14,988 --> 00:11:16,238 Hey, stranger. 527 00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:17,571 Charlie! 528 00:11:17,571 --> 00:11:19,196 Ah, I didn't know 529 00:11:17,571 --> 00:11:19,196 you painted. 530 00:11:19,196 --> 00:11:20,655 I didn't, either. 531 00:11:20,655 --> 00:11:22,446 It sort of started 532 00:11:20,655 --> 00:11:22,446 as a therapeutic thing, 533 00:11:22,446 --> 00:11:24,363 but then I just 534 00:11:22,446 --> 00:11:24,363 really fell for it. 535 00:11:24,363 --> 00:11:26,030 I always wanted to paint. 536 00:11:26,030 --> 00:11:27,196 Damn it! 537 00:11:27,196 --> 00:11:28,571 Why am I not painting? 538 00:11:28,571 --> 00:11:30,738 Well, you're so busy 539 00:11:28,571 --> 00:11:30,738 running your company. 540 00:11:30,738 --> 00:11:33,071 Maybe if you hired more people, 541 00:11:30,738 --> 00:11:33,071 you'd have more time. 542 00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:35,405 I sleep with so many actresses 543 00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:35,405 and models 544 00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:38,071 who are into guys with jets 545 00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:38,071 and boats and ski houses, 546 00:11:38,071 --> 00:11:40,405 but I always wondered, 547 00:11:38,071 --> 00:11:40,405 wouldn't it be more satisfying 548 00:11:40,405 --> 00:11:43,571 to sleep with actresses 549 00:11:40,405 --> 00:11:43,571 and models who are into artists? 550 00:11:43,571 --> 00:11:46,071 Anyway, you were saying how 551 00:11:43,571 --> 00:11:46,071 overwhelmed you were at work. 552 00:11:46,071 --> 00:11:47,405 I'm overwhelmed 553 00:11:46,071 --> 00:11:47,405 by this work. 554 00:11:47,405 --> 00:11:49,696 How do you decide 555 00:11:47,405 --> 00:11:49,696 what to paint? 556 00:11:49,696 --> 00:11:51,530 You know, I just see 557 00:11:49,696 --> 00:11:51,530 these images in my head, 558 00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:54,030 uh, things I want to see, 559 00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:54,030 places I want to go, 560 00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:56,530 uh, how much paint 561 00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:56,530 I have left. 562 00:11:56,530 --> 00:11:58,363 Um, sometimes I just tap 563 00:11:56,530 --> 00:11:58,363 into my emotions, 564 00:11:58,363 --> 00:12:00,530 and I see 565 00:11:58,363 --> 00:12:00,530 where that takes me. 566 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:03,863 And ... You cannot imagine 567 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:03,863 the sense of contentment. 568 00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:05,696 Imagine how much more 569 00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:05,696 satisfying it would be 570 00:12:05,696 --> 00:12:07,030 after a good day's work. 571 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:08,363 You know, I came here 572 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:08,363 to talk you 573 00:12:08,363 --> 00:12:10,196 into coming back 574 00:12:08,363 --> 00:12:10,196 to the company, 575 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:12,780 but you're the most at-peace 576 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:12,780 son of a bitch I've ever met, 577 00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:15,238 and I hired the Dalai Lama 578 00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:15,238 for a pool party. 579 00:12:15,238 --> 00:12:16,696 Hmm. 580 00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:19,321 Thank you, commander. 581 00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:19,321 Mm-hmm. 582 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,488 I will drop these at the office 583 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,488 on the way out of town. 584 00:12:21,488 --> 00:12:23,238 So, unless there's 585 00:12:21,488 --> 00:12:23,238 something else? 586 00:12:23,238 --> 00:12:25,405 You're something else. 587 00:12:23,238 --> 00:12:25,405 Claire, get this man a cupcake. 588 00:12:25,405 --> 00:12:27,321 Mm? 589 00:12:25,405 --> 00:12:27,321 No, thank you, Mrs. Dunphy. 590 00:12:27,321 --> 00:12:29,613 I've got to fit into 591 00:12:27,321 --> 00:12:29,613 a wedding tux pretty soon. 592 00:12:29,613 --> 00:12:31,738 All right, get out of here. 593 00:12:29,613 --> 00:12:31,738 Happy motoring. 594 00:12:31,738 --> 00:12:34,405 Bye, Andy. 595 00:12:31,738 --> 00:12:34,405 See you. 596 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,196 Where's he off to? 597 00:12:36,196 --> 00:12:38,280 Utah for a month 598 00:12:36,196 --> 00:12:38,280 to plan his wedding. 599 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,446 I'm kicking myself. 600 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,446 Andy is great. 601 00:12:41,446 --> 00:12:43,280 And if I hadn't opened 602 00:12:41,446 --> 00:12:43,280 my big, fat mouth, 603 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,946 Haley might be with him 604 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,946 right now instead of with Dylan. 605 00:12:46,946 --> 00:12:48,780 Hmm. 606 00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:50,488 What? 607 00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:50,488 Nothing. 608 00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:51,905 Claire? 609 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,613 Oh, I was just wondering 610 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,613 what would happen 611 00:12:53,613 --> 00:12:57,363 if Andy were to find out 612 00:12:53,613 --> 00:12:57,363 that Haley almost ... 613 00:12:57,363 --> 00:12:59,196 No. We are not meddling 614 00:12:57,363 --> 00:12:59,196 like that. 615 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:01,863 No, we're not. 616 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:01,863 Of course we're not. 617 00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:04,363 But you meddled 618 00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:04,363 when you called Haley 619 00:13:04,363 --> 00:13:06,030 and told her 620 00:13:04,363 --> 00:13:06,030 that Andy liked her. 621 00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:07,696 That's a far cry 622 00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:07,696 from telling Andy 623 00:13:07,696 --> 00:13:09,030 Haley was in love 624 00:13:07,696 --> 00:13:09,030 with him 625 00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:11,196 and raced to the beach 626 00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:11,196 to stop his proposal. 627 00:13:13,946 --> 00:13:15,446 Luke? 628 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:16,488 Nope. 629 00:13:16,488 --> 00:13:17,613 Ohh. 630 00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:19,155 I accidentally took 631 00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:19,155 your pen. 632 00:13:19,155 --> 00:13:21,321 I didn't want to go 633 00:13:19,155 --> 00:13:21,321 plan my wedding 634 00:13:21,321 --> 00:13:22,821 with something so big 635 00:13:21,321 --> 00:13:22,821 weighing on my mind. 636 00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:24,155 Andy, 637 00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:24,155 I am really sorry. 638 00:13:24,155 --> 00:13:25,696 I didn't mean for you 639 00:13:24,155 --> 00:13:25,696 to hear that. 640 00:13:25,696 --> 00:13:28,446 Do not worry. 641 00:13:25,696 --> 00:13:28,446 No big dip! 642 00:13:28,446 --> 00:13:29,446 Really? 643 00:13:29,446 --> 00:13:30,738 Sure! 644 00:13:30,738 --> 00:13:32,655 It's actually kind of funny, 645 00:13:30,738 --> 00:13:32,655 you know? 646 00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:34,363 'Cause how crazy is life? 647 00:13:34,363 --> 00:13:35,655 I was all, 648 00:13:34,363 --> 00:13:35,655 "Should I propose to Beth? 649 00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:36,905 I have feelings 650 00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:36,905 for someone else." 651 00:13:36,905 --> 00:13:38,655 Meantime, 652 00:13:36,905 --> 00:13:38,655 I was talking about Haley. 653 00:13:38,655 --> 00:13:40,988 Haley apparently had feelings 654 00:13:38,655 --> 00:13:40,988 for me, and I had no clue! 655 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:44,155 How could you not laugh 656 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:44,155 at something like that, right? 657 00:13:45,821 --> 00:13:47,988 Oh-oh-oh! Ohh. 658 00:13:47,988 --> 00:13:50,155 Mmm! So good. 659 00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:51,988 All right. 660 00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:51,988 Mmm. Happy Fourth. 661 00:13:51,988 --> 00:13:54,988 I am so fine. 662 00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:03,655 Hello, hello! 663 00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:03,655 Where do I put this? 664 00:14:03,655 --> 00:14:05,071 Hi. Anywhere on the counter 665 00:14:03,655 --> 00:14:05,071 is great, thanks. Hi, Dad. 666 00:14:05,071 --> 00:14:08,071 Hey. 667 00:14:05,071 --> 00:14:08,071 What's, uh, "e-olve" mean? 668 00:14:08,071 --> 00:14:09,738 Oh, no. 669 00:14:08,071 --> 00:14:09,738 It says "evolve." 670 00:14:09,738 --> 00:14:12,821 It's one of Dylan's designs. 671 00:14:09,738 --> 00:14:12,821 The neck is the "V." 672 00:14:12,821 --> 00:14:14,905 There's two V's. 673 00:14:12,821 --> 00:14:14,905 There can't be two necks. 674 00:14:14,905 --> 00:14:17,613 Then why even do it? 675 00:14:14,905 --> 00:14:17,613 Don't make me defend this, Dad. 676 00:14:17,613 --> 00:14:19,488 I am just 677 00:14:17,613 --> 00:14:19,488 trying to be supportive. 678 00:14:19,488 --> 00:14:20,988 Ignore him. 679 00:14:19,488 --> 00:14:20,988 He's just grumpy 680 00:14:20,988 --> 00:14:23,196 because Joe starts school 681 00:14:20,988 --> 00:14:23,196 tomorrow. 682 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,530 Well, that's hard 683 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,530 when they leave the nest 684 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,655 for the first time. 685 00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:27,863 I don't care about that. 686 00:14:27,863 --> 00:14:30,363 All I wanted was to bribe 687 00:14:27,863 --> 00:14:30,363 my way into that fancy school 688 00:14:30,363 --> 00:14:32,946 by making cubbies 689 00:14:30,363 --> 00:14:32,946 stuff didn't fall out of. 690 00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:41,655 We can't say more. 691 00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:41,655 Litigation is pending. 692 00:14:41,655 --> 00:14:44,821 All right, who's ready 693 00:14:41,655 --> 00:14:44,821 for my famous chicken salad? 694 00:14:44,821 --> 00:14:46,196 Oh, thank you! 695 00:14:46,196 --> 00:14:48,696 We need the foil back. 696 00:14:46,196 --> 00:14:48,696 Right. 697 00:14:48,696 --> 00:14:50,696 Whoa. What happened 698 00:14:48,696 --> 00:14:50,696 to your ear, van Gogh? 699 00:14:50,696 --> 00:14:52,530 Oh, I was painting 700 00:14:50,696 --> 00:14:52,530 sunflowers outside, 701 00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:53,863 and I got stung by a bee. 702 00:14:53,863 --> 00:14:55,821 You know, I take it 703 00:14:53,863 --> 00:14:55,821 as a compliment. 704 00:14:55,821 --> 00:14:57,363 From the bee community? 705 00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:58,863 Oh, my goodness, Claire. 706 00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:58,863 That's one of mine. 707 00:14:58,863 --> 00:15:00,863 Yes, it is. 708 00:14:58,863 --> 00:15:00,863 Oh, that looks so good there. 709 00:15:00,863 --> 00:15:03,530 Right? 710 00:15:00,863 --> 00:15:03,530 I just love all the colors. 711 00:15:00,863 --> 00:15:03,530 It makes me feel so happy. 712 00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:04,655 Yeah. 713 00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:06,655 I call it 714 00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:06,655 "Rape of the Immigrant." 715 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,113 I think we left 716 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,113 the brownies in the car. 717 00:15:08,113 --> 00:15:10,363 Oh, I'll get those. 718 00:15:08,113 --> 00:15:10,363 Well, way to go, pal. 719 00:15:11,696 --> 00:15:14,321 Okay, what is wrong 720 00:15:11,696 --> 00:15:14,321 with you people? 721 00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:16,655 I am dying here, 722 00:15:14,321 --> 00:15:16,655 trying to hold down two jobs 723 00:15:16,655 --> 00:15:18,155 while you enable 724 00:15:16,655 --> 00:15:18,155 a once-proud man 725 00:15:18,155 --> 00:15:21,071 who is clearly having 726 00:15:18,155 --> 00:15:21,071 a talent-free breakdown. 727 00:15:21,071 --> 00:15:23,071 You know why 728 00:15:21,071 --> 00:15:23,071 he reminds you of van Gogh? 729 00:15:23,071 --> 00:15:24,405 Because 730 00:15:23,071 --> 00:15:24,405 he's earning nothing, 731 00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:25,613 and he's losing 732 00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:25,613 his mind! 733 00:15:25,613 --> 00:15:29,488 Hey, everybody! 734 00:15:25,613 --> 00:15:29,488 Guess who's back! 735 00:15:29,488 --> 00:15:30,488 Who? Who is back? 736 00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:31,571 Andy. 737 00:15:31,571 --> 00:15:33,905 Andy! Sorry, 738 00:15:31,571 --> 00:15:33,905 it took me a second. 739 00:15:33,905 --> 00:15:37,071 No, I know. I ... I'm parting 740 00:15:33,905 --> 00:15:37,071 my hair a little differently. 741 00:15:37,071 --> 00:15:38,946 Yeah. 742 00:15:37,071 --> 00:15:38,946 That's one thing 743 00:15:37,071 --> 00:15:38,946 that's new about me. 744 00:15:38,946 --> 00:15:41,030 Uh-huh. 745 00:15:38,946 --> 00:15:41,030 So, Beth likes it this way. 746 00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:42,446 I-I love it, looks great. 747 00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:42,446 It looks great. 748 00:15:42,446 --> 00:15:44,071 Thank you. 749 00:15:44,071 --> 00:15:46,071 Hi, Uncle Mitchell. 750 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:49,030 Hey! Oh, uh ... 751 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:49,030 Honey, what's wrong? 752 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:51,530 Nothing. I-I-I just 753 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:51,530 said goodbye to Sanjay. 754 00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:52,738 We broke up. 755 00:15:52,738 --> 00:15:53,988 No. 756 00:15:53,988 --> 00:15:55,488 No, it's ... it's ... 757 00:15:53,988 --> 00:15:55,488 it's great. 758 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,113 We're ... We're both 759 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,113 going to school unencumbered 760 00:15:57,113 --> 00:15:58,780 and ready to focus. 761 00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:00,280 It's the smart thing 762 00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:00,280 to do. 763 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,530 We both feel 764 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,530 really good about it. 765 00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:04,196 You don't look like 766 00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:04,196 you feel good. 767 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,196 Well, yeah, he was ... 768 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,196 he was sadder than I imagined, 769 00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:08,363 so I'm being strong 770 00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:08,363 for the both of us, 771 00:16:08,363 --> 00:16:10,196 which he said he admires. 772 00:16:10,196 --> 00:16:11,530 I think. 773 00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:13,030 It was hard to hear him 774 00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:14,905 with all the John Legend 775 00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:14,905 and the sobbing. 776 00:16:16,405 --> 00:16:17,905 You know what? 777 00:16:17,905 --> 00:16:19,405 I recently went through 778 00:16:17,905 --> 00:16:19,405 a very hard time, 779 00:16:19,405 --> 00:16:21,446 and I found something 780 00:16:19,405 --> 00:16:21,446 that really helped me 781 00:16:21,446 --> 00:16:22,696 navigate my feelings. 782 00:16:22,696 --> 00:16:25,321 I don't want to paint. 783 00:16:22,696 --> 00:16:25,321 Painting. 784 00:16:25,321 --> 00:16:27,821 (laughter, 785 00:16:25,321 --> 00:16:27,821 indistinct conversations) 786 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,655 Oh, my God, right? 787 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,363 I am freaking out. 788 00:16:31,363 --> 00:16:33,155 You don't think that's because 789 00:16:31,363 --> 00:16:33,155 of what he heard us say, do you? 790 00:16:33,155 --> 00:16:35,321 No, lots of people gain weight 791 00:16:33,155 --> 00:16:35,321 during their engagement. 792 00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:36,488 You did. 793 00:16:35,321 --> 00:16:36,488 I was pregnant. 794 00:16:36,488 --> 00:16:37,946 I'm trying, Claire. 795 00:16:37,946 --> 00:16:39,113 I don't want to believe 796 00:16:37,946 --> 00:16:39,113 we're responsible. 797 00:16:39,113 --> 00:16:40,571 Of course 798 00:16:39,113 --> 00:16:40,571 we're responsible. 799 00:16:40,571 --> 00:16:42,780 Clearly, Andy has been 800 00:16:40,571 --> 00:16:42,780 stuffing his face ever since 801 00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:45,238 he found out that Haley 802 00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:45,238 almost stopped his proposal. 803 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,571 What? 804 00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:47,988 We have got to start 805 00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:47,988 talking in the garage. 806 00:16:47,988 --> 00:16:50,321 Uh, Dylan, could you 807 00:16:47,988 --> 00:16:50,321 make me a plate? 808 00:16:50,321 --> 00:16:51,988 If I can make a bong 809 00:16:50,321 --> 00:16:51,988 out of a carrot, 810 00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:53,738 I think I can make you 811 00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:53,738 a plate. 812 00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:56,321 You told Andy I tried 813 00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:56,321 to stop his proposal? 814 00:16:56,321 --> 00:16:57,696 Not on purpose. 815 00:16:57,696 --> 00:16:59,280 Before he left for Utah, 816 00:16:57,696 --> 00:16:59,280 your father and I 817 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,155 were privately discussing 818 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,155 how bad it would be 819 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,530 if he found out, 820 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,530 and Andy overheard us. 821 00:17:04,530 --> 00:17:05,613 What did he say? 822 00:17:05,613 --> 00:17:07,113 He said he was fine. 823 00:17:05,613 --> 00:17:07,113 Mm. 824 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:10,655 But... now we're not 825 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:10,655 so sure. 826 00:17:12,821 --> 00:17:14,321 Oh, my God. 827 00:17:14,321 --> 00:17:16,488 Oh, my God, that's Andy? 828 00:17:14,321 --> 00:17:16,488 Mm-hmm. 829 00:17:16,488 --> 00:17:18,196 You think he got fat 830 00:17:16,488 --> 00:17:18,196 'cause of me? 831 00:17:18,196 --> 00:17:19,988 Possibly. Yes. 832 00:17:19,988 --> 00:17:21,446 Should I talk to him 833 00:17:19,988 --> 00:17:21,446 about it? 834 00:17:21,446 --> 00:17:23,071 Honey, that has to be 835 00:17:21,446 --> 00:17:23,071 your decision. 836 00:17:23,071 --> 00:17:24,946 We are through meddling 837 00:17:23,071 --> 00:17:24,946 in your love life. 838 00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:27,321 Yeah. 839 00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:27,321 Though I will say 840 00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:27,321 he's still very much engaged. 841 00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:28,655 Whereas, I would 842 00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:28,655 want to know if he got fat 843 00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:30,155 because he was 844 00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:30,155 still in love with me. 845 00:17:30,155 --> 00:17:31,321 And now we're out. 846 00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:34,321 See, 847 00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:34,321 don't you feel better? 848 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,488 No. 849 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,155 Don't stress out 850 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,155 about light 851 00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:38,821 and perspective and ... 852 00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:38,821 and color. 853 00:17:38,821 --> 00:17:42,113 You know, just let your painting 854 00:17:38,821 --> 00:17:42,113 be what it wants to be. 855 00:17:42,113 --> 00:17:44,655 How's this? 856 00:17:42,113 --> 00:17:44,655 Here, let's see. 857 00:17:44,655 --> 00:17:46,696 What the hell? 858 00:17:44,655 --> 00:17:46,696 Why are you so good? 859 00:17:46,696 --> 00:17:49,196 I don't know. 860 00:17:46,696 --> 00:17:49,196 I'm just good at most things. 861 00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:51,196 So am I, usually. 862 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:54,030 Wait a second. 863 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:54,030 So is Sanjay. 864 00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:56,863 I-I-I-I have to get to him 865 00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:56,863 before he leaves. 866 00:17:58,363 --> 00:18:00,196 Wow! 867 00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:02,696 You're really getting better. 868 00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:02,696 Maybe you should go inside. 869 00:18:04,113 --> 00:18:06,821 Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, 870 00:18:04,113 --> 00:18:06,821 get down from there! 871 00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:09,071 You're gonna get hurt. 872 00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:09,071 What happened? 873 00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:10,738 This is why he shouldn't 874 00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:10,738 go to your commune. 875 00:18:10,738 --> 00:18:12,905 He'll fall, 876 00:18:10,738 --> 00:18:12,905 those hippies won't notice, 877 00:18:12,905 --> 00:18:14,738 and he'll be eaten alive 878 00:18:12,905 --> 00:18:14,738 by chickens. 879 00:18:14,738 --> 00:18:16,280 I think 880 00:18:14,738 --> 00:18:16,280 we have established 881 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,155 that he can take care of himself 882 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,155 around a chicken. 883 00:18:18,155 --> 00:18:21,988 You keep forgetting 884 00:18:18,155 --> 00:18:21,988 that Joe is tough. He's part me. 885 00:18:21,988 --> 00:18:24,488 That's the son that you should 886 00:18:21,988 --> 00:18:24,488 be worrying about. 887 00:18:27,738 --> 00:18:30,071 I really thought 888 00:18:27,738 --> 00:18:30,071 I was done with that one. 889 00:18:30,071 --> 00:18:31,655 Hmm. 890 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,071 How's it going? 891 00:18:35,071 --> 00:18:37,738 I got a splinter... 892 00:18:35,071 --> 00:18:37,738 and a few other issues. 893 00:18:37,738 --> 00:18:39,821 You know what's happening here, 894 00:18:37,738 --> 00:18:39,821 don't you? 895 00:18:39,821 --> 00:18:41,530 You're having 896 00:18:39,821 --> 00:18:41,530 a mid-life crisis. 897 00:18:41,530 --> 00:18:42,780 Oh, my God. 898 00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:44,738 Some guys, 899 00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:44,738 it's fast cars and women. 900 00:18:44,738 --> 00:18:46,571 Me, it was golf. 901 00:18:46,571 --> 00:18:49,196 You, 902 00:18:46,571 --> 00:18:49,196 it's just a little gayer. 903 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,238 I know like 10 lesbians 904 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,238 who could out-golf you. 905 00:18:51,238 --> 00:18:54,071 The point is when you're wound 906 00:18:51,238 --> 00:18:54,071 as tight as we are, 907 00:18:54,071 --> 00:18:56,071 you're bound to snap. 908 00:18:56,071 --> 00:18:59,238 Yeah. Yeah, I-I've just been 909 00:18:56,071 --> 00:18:59,238 working so hard for so long. 910 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,780 And now that I've stopped, 911 00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:02,863 I'm ... I'm having 912 00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:02,863 a hard time starting again. 913 00:19:02,863 --> 00:19:04,405 Oh, I get it. 914 00:19:04,405 --> 00:19:06,905 I took six weeks off one summer 915 00:19:04,405 --> 00:19:06,905 just to play golf. 916 00:19:06,905 --> 00:19:09,071 And one day, during 917 00:19:06,905 --> 00:19:09,071 the big club tournament, 918 00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:10,905 I hooked a seven-iron 919 00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:10,905 out of bounds. 920 00:19:10,905 --> 00:19:14,071 I got so pissed that 921 00:19:10,905 --> 00:19:14,071 I wrapped the club around a tree 922 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:16,655 and drove the golf cart off 923 00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:16,655 the little bridge into the lake. 924 00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:20,113 I'll never forget 925 00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:20,113 what the club pro said to me. 926 00:19:20,113 --> 00:19:22,780 "Mr. Pritchett, 927 00:19:20,113 --> 00:19:22,780 you're not a very good golfer. 928 00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:24,446 Go back 929 00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:24,446 to your day job." 930 00:19:24,446 --> 00:19:25,655 Look... 931 00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:27,280 I know I'm not 932 00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:27,280 a good painter, Dad. 933 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,280 I ... I was just hoping 934 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,280 to feel a little bit better 935 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,155 before 936 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,155 going back to work. 937 00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:34,821 You're not gonna feel better 938 00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:34,821 until you go back to work. 939 00:19:34,821 --> 00:19:36,988 Mitchell, 940 00:19:34,821 --> 00:19:36,988 you're a great lawyer. 941 00:19:36,988 --> 00:19:38,280 Go do that. 942 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,446 And get a haircut. 943 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,446 Okay. 944 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,280 Hey. 945 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,405 Hey. 946 00:19:44,405 --> 00:19:46,280 So, listen, um, 947 00:19:44,405 --> 00:19:46,280 I heard that you found out 948 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,863 that I was at the beach 949 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,863 that day. 950 00:19:50,321 --> 00:19:51,988 Yeah. 951 00:19:51,988 --> 00:19:54,321 I didn't know you felt 952 00:19:51,988 --> 00:19:54,321 that way about me. 953 00:19:54,321 --> 00:19:55,780 Would have been nice 954 00:19:54,321 --> 00:19:55,780 to know. 955 00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:56,988 Well, it would have 956 00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:56,988 been nice to know 957 00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,363 you had feelings for me. 958 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,946 A lot of things 959 00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,946 would have been nice. 960 00:19:59,946 --> 00:20:02,821 Do you have feelings 961 00:19:59,946 --> 00:20:02,821 for me now? 962 00:20:02,821 --> 00:20:06,280 Haley, I'm engaged. 963 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,988 That's not an answer. 964 00:20:07,988 --> 00:20:12,321 Why are you picking now 965 00:20:07,988 --> 00:20:12,321 to talk about all this? 966 00:20:12,321 --> 00:20:14,780 Because I'm worried 967 00:20:12,321 --> 00:20:14,780 about all this. 968 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,655 What? My weight? 969 00:20:16,655 --> 00:20:19,321 Please. This will drop off 970 00:20:16,655 --> 00:20:19,321 in a second. 971 00:20:19,321 --> 00:20:21,988 Andy, don't you think 972 00:20:19,321 --> 00:20:21,988 that there is a chance 973 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,363 that you have been eating 974 00:20:23,363 --> 00:20:24,780 because you regret 975 00:20:23,363 --> 00:20:24,780 getting engaged to Beth? 976 00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:27,946 Why would I do that? 977 00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:27,946 Beth is amazing. 978 00:20:27,946 --> 00:20:30,821 Beth is a psycho who tried 979 00:20:27,946 --> 00:20:30,821 to light my hair on fire. 980 00:20:30,821 --> 00:20:33,321 Meanwhile, 981 00:20:30,821 --> 00:20:33,321 Dylan is in the backyard 982 00:20:33,321 --> 00:20:35,363 trying to make a plate 983 00:20:33,321 --> 00:20:35,363 out of sticks. 984 00:20:35,363 --> 00:20:37,696 Well, at least he knows 985 00:20:35,363 --> 00:20:37,696 what he wants and goes for it. 986 00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:39,655 Then I guess it's a good thing 987 00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:39,655 that we didn't get together. 988 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,905 Best decision 989 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,905 I ever made! 990 00:20:40,905 --> 00:20:41,988 Samesies! 991 00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:48,196 I'm not gonna lie, 992 00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:48,196 Phil. 993 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:49,696 I might need 994 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:49,696 to get back into that. 995 00:20:49,696 --> 00:20:50,613 Yep. 996 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,488 Sanjay! 997 00:20:57,488 --> 00:20:58,988 Oh, God. 998 00:20:57,488 --> 00:20:58,988 I can't say goodbye again. 999 00:20:58,988 --> 00:21:00,446 We don't have to. 1000 00:21:00,446 --> 00:21:02,155 We're basing this decision 1001 00:21:00,446 --> 00:21:02,155 on a statistic. 1002 00:21:02,155 --> 00:21:04,155 86% of long-distance 1003 00:21:02,155 --> 00:21:04,155 relationships 1004 00:21:04,155 --> 00:21:05,821 end in failure, correct? 1005 00:21:04,155 --> 00:21:05,821 Of course "correct." 1006 00:21:05,821 --> 00:21:06,988 You'd never 1007 00:21:05,821 --> 00:21:06,988 misquote a statistic. 1008 00:21:06,988 --> 00:21:07,988 And neither would you. 1009 00:21:07,988 --> 00:21:09,363 When have we ever been 1010 00:21:09,363 --> 00:21:11,488 in the bottom 86th percentile 1011 00:21:09,363 --> 00:21:11,488 of anything? 1012 00:21:11,488 --> 00:21:14,655 Never. I'd kill myself. 1013 00:21:11,488 --> 00:21:14,655 We're in the top 1%. 1014 00:21:14,655 --> 00:21:17,696 Exactly. I learned how to paint 1015 00:21:14,655 --> 00:21:17,696 in an afternoon. 1016 00:21:17,696 --> 00:21:20,280 Last night, I developed an app 1017 00:21:17,696 --> 00:21:20,280 to feed my fish from college. 1018 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,155 If anyone can make this work, 1019 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,155 it's you and me. 1020 00:21:24,155 --> 00:21:25,321 God, I love numbers. 1021 00:21:25,321 --> 00:21:27,613 I love numbers, too. 1022 00:21:32,071 --> 00:21:34,696 Captions by VITAC :