1
00:00:03,813 --> 00:00:05,938
Come on. Why aren't they

2
00:00:03,813 --> 00:00:05,938
transferring to me?

3
00:00:05,938 --> 00:00:07,480
I look just like you.

4
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:08,813
Maybe I don't

5
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:08,813
have the scent right.

6
00:00:12,438 --> 00:00:15,271
A few weeks ago,

7
00:00:12,438 --> 00:00:15,271
I found a nest of duck eggs.

8
00:00:15,271 --> 00:00:17,938
I, uh...

9
00:00:15,271 --> 00:00:17,938
I lovingly nursed them,

10
00:00:17,938 --> 00:00:21,980
and then, uh,

11
00:00:17,938 --> 00:00:21,980
by some... sick fluke,

12
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,813
Claire was the only one there

13
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,813
when the ducks were born,

14
00:00:23,813 --> 00:00:27,355
so they imprinted

15
00:00:23,813 --> 00:00:27,355
on her.

16
00:00:27,355 --> 00:00:28,855
Oh, I didn't do it

17
00:00:27,355 --> 00:00:28,855
on purpose.

18
00:00:28,855 --> 00:00:30,855
Then make them

19
00:00:28,855 --> 00:00:30,855
come back to me.

20
00:00:28,855 --> 00:00:30,855
Mm.

21
00:00:32,605 --> 00:00:34,605
Who's calling

22
00:00:32,605 --> 00:00:34,605
at this hour?

23
00:00:34,605 --> 00:00:36,438
Hello?

24
00:00:36,438 --> 00:00:37,521
Yes?

25
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:39,313
Luke's been arrested!

26
00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:56,230
Well,

27
00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:56,230
good morning, Leonard.

28
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:57,688
Leonar...

29
00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,230
I know it's not

30
00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,230
my well-behaved son, Luke,

31
00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:01,063
who'd never take our car out

32
00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:01,063
without a license

33
00:01:01,063 --> 00:01:02,313
and get arrested.

34
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:04,188
I took the car

35
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:04,188
for a good reason.

36
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:06,688
Sarah Fisher's cat died,

37
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:06,688
and she was devastated,

38
00:01:06,688 --> 00:01:09,396
so I thought

39
00:01:06,688 --> 00:01:09,396
she might make out with me.

40
00:01:09,396 --> 00:01:12,396
I got caught two blocks away

41
00:01:09,396 --> 00:01:12,396
from her house.

42
00:01:12,396 --> 00:01:15,521
Everyone is having great luck

43
00:01:12,396 --> 00:01:15,521
with girls except for me.

44
00:01:15,521 --> 00:01:17,688
And I mean everyone.

45
00:01:17,688 --> 00:01:20,438
When is a tuba-strap rash

46
00:01:17,688 --> 00:01:20,438
not a tuba-strap rash?

47
00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:23,855
When it's hickeys.

48
00:01:23,855 --> 00:01:25,188
You know, we're gonna have to

49
00:01:23,855 --> 00:01:25,188
ground you,

50
00:01:25,188 --> 00:01:26,521
and I was

51
00:01:25,188 --> 00:01:26,521
thinking that ...

52
00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:27,896
Oh, we're doing

53
00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:27,896
way more than that.

54
00:01:27,896 --> 00:01:29,980
Landon has a $300 fine

55
00:01:27,896 --> 00:01:29,980
to work off.

56
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:32,313
We could fight that ...

57
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:32,313
say the cop was racist.

58
00:01:32,313 --> 00:01:34,605
Even if we lose,

59
00:01:32,313 --> 00:01:34,605
it'll start a conversation.

60
00:01:34,605 --> 00:01:37,938
You made a mistake,

61
00:01:34,605 --> 00:01:37,938
you pay the consequences, Levon.

62
00:01:37,938 --> 00:01:39,396
Your first job

63
00:01:37,938 --> 00:01:39,396
is cleaning out

64
00:01:39,396 --> 00:01:41,063
the awesome village

65
00:01:39,396 --> 00:01:41,063
I built for my ducks.

66
00:01:41,063 --> 00:01:42,521
Aren't they Mom's ducks?

67
00:01:42,521 --> 00:01:45,063
Do you really want to

68
00:01:42,521 --> 00:01:45,063
test me right now?

69
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,896
Well, you, sir,

70
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,896
take your time deciding.

71
00:01:46,896 --> 00:01:48,396
We'll be here

72
00:01:46,896 --> 00:01:48,396
just as sure as a coonhound

73
00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:50,938
takes a summer nap

74
00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:50,938
in the shade of a chifferobe.

75
00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:53,021
Okay, now you're just randomly

76
00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:53,021
throwing words together

77
00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:54,521
from

78
00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:54,521
To Kill a Mockingbird.

79
00:01:54,521 --> 00:01:57,188
It was a boon year

80
00:01:54,521 --> 00:01:57,188
for tomatoes on the farm,

81
00:01:57,188 --> 00:01:59,855
or what we're calling...

82
00:01:59,855 --> 00:02:01,563
Tomatogeddon.

83
00:02:01,563 --> 00:02:04,021
So they made an extra-large

84
00:02:01,563 --> 00:02:04,021
batch of Tucker's Famous,

85
00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:05,688
and we're selling it

86
00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:05,688
at the farmers' market.

87
00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:07,188
Now,

88
00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:07,188
when you say "famous" ...

89
00:02:07,188 --> 00:02:09,188
It's known Missouri-wide.

90
00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:12,230
A death-row inmate requested it

91
00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:12,230
for his last meal.

92
00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:13,563
Well, at least

93
00:02:12,230 --> 00:02:13,563
I'm trying to sell.

94
00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,063
What is going on?

95
00:02:15,063 --> 00:02:16,730
After buying

96
00:02:15,063 --> 00:02:16,730
whatever they're selling,

97
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,563
I'm guessing people are

98
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,563
plum out of spending money.

99
00:02:19,563 --> 00:02:21,730
Wait. No.

100
00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:23,813
It's Andrew and Simon.

101
00:02:23,813 --> 00:02:25,813
Thank you. Oh.

102
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,688
Hello.

103
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,688
Oh, hello!

104
00:02:27,688 --> 00:02:30,521
Here to try our hand-caught

105
00:02:27,688 --> 00:02:30,521
artisanal trout jerky?

106
00:02:30,521 --> 00:02:32,230
- No.

107
00:02:30,521 --> 00:02:32,230
- It's selling like hotcakes.

108
00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:33,438
Actually, better.

109
00:02:33,438 --> 00:02:35,063
See the vegan

110
00:02:33,438 --> 00:02:35,063
hotcakes stand?

111
00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:37,063
Next to

112
00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:37,063
the bespoke honey stall.

113
00:02:37,063 --> 00:02:39,230
We should be careful.

114
00:02:37,063 --> 00:02:39,230
This market might be a trick

115
00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:41,563
to get a whole bunch of white

116
00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:41,563
people together in one spot.

117
00:02:41,563 --> 00:02:43,230
I'm actually glad

118
00:02:41,563 --> 00:02:43,230
you're here.

119
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,730
We're looking for

120
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,730
a new senior associate,

121
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,230
and I was gonna

122
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,230
call you.

123
00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:49,563
Call me what?

124
00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:49,563
A has-been?

125
00:02:49,563 --> 00:02:51,063
"Mitch ado

126
00:02:49,563 --> 00:02:51,063
about nothing"?

127
00:02:51,063 --> 00:02:52,646
Why am I doing your work

128
00:02:51,063 --> 00:02:52,646
for you?

129
00:02:52,646 --> 00:02:55,313
Look, on a social level,

130
00:02:52,646 --> 00:02:55,313
I find you hopeless,

131
00:02:55,313 --> 00:02:57,813
but I always thought

132
00:02:55,313 --> 00:02:57,813
you were a good lawyer ...

133
00:02:57,813 --> 00:02:59,688
maybe a great one

134
00:02:57,813 --> 00:02:59,688
at the right firm.

135
00:02:59,688 --> 00:03:02,188
Honey, did you bring

136
00:02:59,688 --> 00:03:02,188
the other cash box?

137
00:03:02,188 --> 00:03:03,438
This one's filled up.

138
00:03:04,521 --> 00:03:05,605
Think about it.

139
00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:09,521
Come on, Joe!

140
00:03:09,521 --> 00:03:11,521
I don't want to learn!

141
00:03:11,521 --> 00:03:13,230
But you have to learn!

142
00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:14,896
And it's so easy.

143
00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:18,396
Look, first,

144
00:03:14,896 --> 00:03:18,396
you make the little man,

145
00:03:18,396 --> 00:03:22,021
then you tie the rope

146
00:03:18,396 --> 00:03:22,021
around its throat ...

147
00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,438
No!

148
00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:24,813
Joe, don't worry about

149
00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:24,813
tying your shoes.

150
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,188
That's for big boys.

151
00:03:26,188 --> 00:03:28,021
Don't tell him

152
00:03:26,188 --> 00:03:28,021
he can't.

153
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,563
He can't, but he'll be fine ...

154
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,563
Kid has thick, beautiful hair.

155
00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:32,730
- Can I get back to work now?

156
00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:32,730
- You're working?

157
00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:33,730
But it's not

158
00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:33,730
between 10:00 and 2:00,

159
00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:34,938
Monday through Thursday.

160
00:03:34,938 --> 00:03:36,188
Well, I wasn't

161
00:03:34,938 --> 00:03:36,188
gonna tell you guys,

162
00:03:36,188 --> 00:03:37,521
'cause I knew

163
00:03:36,188 --> 00:03:37,521
you'd make a big fuss,

164
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,771
but the Chamber of Commerce

165
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,771
is giving me

166
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:41,313
a Titans of Industry award.

167
00:03:41,313 --> 00:03:43,146
They asked me to make a video

168
00:03:41,313 --> 00:03:43,146
for the ceremony

169
00:03:43,146 --> 00:03:45,480
about what drives me.

170
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,271
After 30 years

171
00:03:47,271 --> 00:03:49,771
and over a hundred thousand

172
00:03:47,271 --> 00:03:49,771
hanger rods installed,

173
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,438
some people

174
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,438
would kick back and relax.

175
00:03:52,438 --> 00:03:53,938
Not me.

176
00:03:52,438 --> 00:03:53,938
I'm Jay Pritchett.

177
00:03:55,313 --> 00:03:56,646
Pritchett's Closets.

178
00:03:56,646 --> 00:03:58,813
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down!

179
00:03:58,813 --> 00:04:01,480
How many closets do you need?

180
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,563
Yeah. I can handle that.

181
00:04:04,563 --> 00:04:07,355
It's great.

182
00:04:04,563 --> 00:04:07,355
I'm starting over.

183
00:04:07,355 --> 00:04:09,021
Why?

184
00:04:07,355 --> 00:04:09,021
You guys were bored,

185
00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,480
and the video obviously

186
00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,480
doesn't capture my essence.

187
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,480
You think that fellow titan

188
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,480
Ed Fisk, the Lion of Linoleum,

189
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,605
would make that mistake?

190
00:04:15,605 --> 00:04:16,938
How big is this event?

191
00:04:16,938 --> 00:04:18,855
Is there going to be

192
00:04:16,938 --> 00:04:18,855
a red carpet?

193
00:04:18,855 --> 00:04:21,688
No, but Red Murtaugh, of

194
00:04:18,855 --> 00:04:21,688
Red's Carpets, will be there.

195
00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:24,355
I'm walking with giants,

196
00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:24,355
Gloria,

197
00:04:24,355 --> 00:04:26,813
and that's a good way

198
00:04:24,355 --> 00:04:26,813
to get stepped on.

199
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,230
Oh, there are two

200
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,230
over there.

201
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:32,855
Oh, good. For a second, I didn't

202
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:32,855
think we were gonna find...

203
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,688
Hey,

204
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,688
isn't that Beth and Andy?

205
00:04:35,688 --> 00:04:38,730
Um, actually, uh,

206
00:04:35,688 --> 00:04:38,730
those two are better.

207
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:40,313
But all those people

208
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:40,313
would be between us.

209
00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,313
Yeah, but, you know,

210
00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,313
we spent all day together.

211
00:04:42,313 --> 00:04:44,063
I just ...

212
00:04:42,313 --> 00:04:44,063
Hey. Hey, you two.

213
00:04:44,063 --> 00:04:46,396
Hey, Andy. Very cool

214
00:04:44,063 --> 00:04:46,396
you're not fat anymore.

215
00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:48,355
Hi!

216
00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:48,355
Nice to see you guys!

217
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,688
We really should

218
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,688
go find seats before the m...

219
00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:52,188
Sit down, please.

220
00:04:54,938 --> 00:04:56,605
Ever since Andy got engaged,

221
00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:58,563
things between us

222
00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:58,563
have been weird.

223
00:04:58,563 --> 00:04:59,855
Like "a woman with olive skin

224
00:04:59,855 --> 00:05:01,230
trying to pull off red hair"

225
00:04:59,855 --> 00:05:01,230
weird.

226
00:05:01,230 --> 00:05:02,730
I just wanted to watch the movie

227
00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:04,980
and get out of there

228
00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:04,980
before it got awkward.

229
00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,646
I still think about you.

230
00:05:06,646 --> 00:05:09,146
Me too.

231
00:05:06,646 --> 00:05:09,146
But I'm with someone else now.

232
00:05:09,146 --> 00:05:10,480
I made a commitment.

233
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,980
But do you

234
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,980
really love her?

235
00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,855
Zombie!

236
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,480
Got it!

237
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,188
Anyway, we really should have

238
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,188
told each other how we felt.

239
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,980
Nothing? Really?

240
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,271
I could not

241
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,271
get out of there fast enough.

242
00:05:25,271 --> 00:05:26,646
What's the rush?

243
00:05:25,271 --> 00:05:26,646
Sometimes they put

244
00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:28,271
a funny skit thing

245
00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:28,271
after all the names.

246
00:05:28,271 --> 00:05:30,438
Hey. Guys, wait up.

247
00:05:30,438 --> 00:05:32,396
You want to go grab a burger

248
00:05:30,438 --> 00:05:32,396
and a beer next door?

249
00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:34,063
Well, I ...

250
00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:34,063
I definitely do.

251
00:05:34,063 --> 00:05:36,230
That movie brought up

252
00:05:34,063 --> 00:05:36,230
so much for me.

253
00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:38,063
Plus, I got to take my pill

254
00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:38,063
with food.

255
00:05:38,063 --> 00:05:40,021
Yeah, I'm not so sure ...

256
00:05:38,063 --> 00:05:40,021
You're coming.

257
00:05:40,021 --> 00:05:41,688
Oh.

258
00:05:40,021 --> 00:05:41,688
Maybe if you're there,

259
00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:44,021
he won't try and do

260
00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:44,021
his adorable British character

261
00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,688
for the hostess.

262
00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:48,521
Will you put this

263
00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:48,521
in my veggie burger

264
00:05:48,521 --> 00:05:51,063
and not tell me

265
00:05:48,521 --> 00:05:51,063
where it is?

266
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,438
Hey, Lloyd, it's your dad,

267
00:05:57,438 --> 00:05:58,730
A.K.A. your worst nightmare.

268
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:00,355
Just reminding you

269
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:00,355
the duck village

270
00:06:00,355 --> 00:06:02,188
needs to be clean enough

271
00:06:00,355 --> 00:06:02,188
to eat off of.

272
00:06:02,188 --> 00:06:04,021
You hear me?

273
00:06:02,188 --> 00:06:04,021
You better not have.

274
00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:05,355
You're not allowed to

275
00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:05,355
use your phone.

276
00:06:05,355 --> 00:06:08,063
Yep, I'm everywhere.

277
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:10,521
You think maybe you're being

278
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:10,521
a bit hard on Luke?

279
00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,146
We're his parents, Claire.

280
00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,146
It's our job to keep him

281
00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,146
off the stripper pole.

282
00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:16,021
I actually like that he's being

283
00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:16,021
a little bit rebellious.

284
00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,521
Sometimes, between the magic

285
00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,521
and the trampolining,

286
00:06:18,521 --> 00:06:22,563
I think he's getting a little...

287
00:06:18,521 --> 00:06:22,563
you know.

288
00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:23,896
What are you trying to say,

289
00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:23,896
Claire?

290
00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:26,105
A little... me?

291
00:06:26,105 --> 00:06:27,730
There it was again,

292
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:30,188
the insinuation that I'm not

293
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:30,188
dangerous enough for her.

294
00:06:30,188 --> 00:06:33,855
Apparently, she's forgotten

295
00:06:30,188 --> 00:06:33,855
I've been to jail.

296
00:06:33,855 --> 00:06:36,896
I once led 20 violent inmates

297
00:06:33,855 --> 00:06:36,896
in a therapeutic tumbling class.

298
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,896
It was a huge success.

299
00:06:38,896 --> 00:06:41,063
Could I have made

300
00:06:38,896 --> 00:06:41,063
the participation trophies

301
00:06:41,063 --> 00:06:42,771
a little less stabby?

302
00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:43,938
Sure.

303
00:06:43,938 --> 00:06:47,063
But overall, a huge success.

304
00:06:47,063 --> 00:06:49,730
When you say you're happy

305
00:06:47,063 --> 00:06:49,730
about Luke being a rebel,

306
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:52,063
it sounds a little like

307
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:52,063
you're also saying...

308
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:52,063
Are you wearing my perfume?

309
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,063
It was to trick the ducks.

310
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,063
Oh.

311
00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:55,563
But like I was saying ...

312
00:06:55,563 --> 00:06:56,980
Hey, is that Alex?

313
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:58,813
It is. That's weird.

314
00:06:58,813 --> 00:07:01,146
She said she was gonna be

315
00:06:58,813 --> 00:07:01,146
at school all weekend studying.

316
00:07:03,021 --> 00:07:04,855
Hello?

317
00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:06,896
Hey, honey.

318
00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:06,896
Hi! I'm here, too.

319
00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:06,896
How are you doing, honey?

320
00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:10,355
Oh, yeah, I'm good. I'm doing

321
00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:10,355
some work. Really busy.

322
00:07:10,355 --> 00:07:12,021
Well,

323
00:07:10,355 --> 00:07:12,021
that's interesting, be...

324
00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:14,188
Yeah, we've got a boring day

325
00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:14,188
ahead of us, too.

326
00:07:14,188 --> 00:07:16,521
Heading down to the impound lot

327
00:07:14,188 --> 00:07:16,521
to pick up the car

328
00:07:16,521 --> 00:07:19,230
because, yes, your brother

329
00:07:16,521 --> 00:07:19,230
got arrested last night.

330
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,396
Oh! Okay.

331
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,396
Well, that's great.

332
00:07:21,396 --> 00:07:23,938
Yeah, I really got to go.

333
00:07:21,396 --> 00:07:23,938
I left my stuff in the library.

334
00:07:23,938 --> 00:07:26,105
And I'm really worried

335
00:07:23,938 --> 00:07:26,105
someone's gonna steal my snacks.

336
00:07:26,105 --> 00:07:27,480
Okay, bye!

337
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,271
Why did you stop me?

338
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,271
I was gonna bust her.

339
00:07:29,271 --> 00:07:31,771
What? In a little lie?

340
00:07:29,271 --> 00:07:31,771
I mean, come on.

341
00:07:31,771 --> 00:07:33,313
She's probably

342
00:07:31,771 --> 00:07:33,313
visiting a friend

343
00:07:33,313 --> 00:07:35,105
and she didn't want to

344
00:07:33,313 --> 00:07:35,105
hurt our feelings.

345
00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:37,271
She barely reacted when she

346
00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:37,271
heard that Luke got arrested.

347
00:07:37,271 --> 00:07:38,980
She's obviously

348
00:07:37,271 --> 00:07:38,980
hiding something.

349
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,980
And now she's walking

350
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,980
into that liquor store.

351
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:43,313
Oh, no. Oh, no.

352
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:43,313
Now, this is serious.

353
00:07:43,313 --> 00:07:46,771
A college student is visiting a

354
00:07:43,313 --> 00:07:46,771
friend, and they're buying beer!

355
00:07:46,771 --> 00:07:48,271
Relax, Phil.

356
00:07:48,271 --> 00:07:49,771
This girl

357
00:07:48,271 --> 00:07:49,771
has two patents.

358
00:07:49,771 --> 00:07:51,813
What she needs

359
00:07:49,771 --> 00:07:51,813
is two parents.

360
00:07:51,813 --> 00:07:55,813
Okay, my point is, it wouldn't

361
00:07:51,813 --> 00:07:55,813
hurt Alex to loosen up.

362
00:07:55,813 --> 00:07:57,980
I mean, I'm worried that

363
00:07:55,813 --> 00:07:57,980
she's getting a little...

364
00:07:57,980 --> 00:07:59,605
There it is again.

365
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,105
Just say it, Claire ...

366
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:02,480
You like

367
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:02,480
our kids running wild

368
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,813
'cause you're worried

369
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,813
they're too much

370
00:08:03,813 --> 00:08:05,355
like their

371
00:08:03,813 --> 00:08:05,355
namby-pamby dad,

372
00:08:05,355 --> 00:08:07,355
Mr. Goody-goody,

373
00:08:05,355 --> 00:08:07,355
mayor of Vanillatown.

374
00:08:07,355 --> 00:08:09,480
Is this 'cause

375
00:08:07,355 --> 00:08:09,480
the ducks like me better?

376
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,980
That is biological,

377
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,980
and you know it.

378
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:13,313
There are

379
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:13,313
videos of them online

380
00:08:13,313 --> 00:08:14,646
following around

381
00:08:13,313 --> 00:08:14,646
a vacuum cleaner.

382
00:08:14,646 --> 00:08:16,063
They're basically idiots!

383
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,063
Oh, my God. Hang on.

384
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,063
She's getting into that van.

385
00:08:18,063 --> 00:08:20,230
Oh, now we're concerned!

386
00:08:18,063 --> 00:08:20,230
Yes, I'm concerned!

387
00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:21,855
That is

388
00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:21,855
a sketchy repair van

389
00:08:21,855 --> 00:08:23,896
that is probably being driven

390
00:08:21,855 --> 00:08:23,896
by some middle-aged pervert

391
00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:26,105
with one long fingernail

392
00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:26,105
that she met online.

393
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:28,146
Oh, my God, go! Follow them!

394
00:08:29,438 --> 00:08:31,146
Thank you for lending us

395
00:08:29,438 --> 00:08:31,146
Manny's easel.

396
00:08:31,146 --> 00:08:33,271
Did everyone

397
00:08:31,146 --> 00:08:33,271
love the sauce?

398
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,980
Well, if by "everyone"

399
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,980
you mean a thousand bees

400
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:38,438
and a pony that escaped

401
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:38,438
from the riding circle, yeah.

402
00:08:38,438 --> 00:08:40,563
Oh, no ...

403
00:08:38,438 --> 00:08:40,563
Is this one of those

404
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,313
video wills where you make us

405
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,313
compete in a scavenger hunt

406
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,021
for your inheritance?

407
00:08:44,021 --> 00:08:46,521
No. It's the video

408
00:08:44,021 --> 00:08:46,521
for my Titan award.

409
00:08:44,021 --> 00:08:46,521
I told you about it.

410
00:08:46,521 --> 00:08:48,896
I'm trying to project

411
00:08:46,521 --> 00:08:48,896
strength and confidence.

412
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,730
Maybe you should lose the

413
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,730
Garfield "I hate Mondays" mug

414
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,771
on the mantel.

415
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,771
Good catch.

416
00:08:52,771 --> 00:08:54,563
I've waited my whole life

417
00:08:52,771 --> 00:08:54,563
to hear you say those words.

418
00:08:54,563 --> 00:08:56,230
Want to help me out here?

419
00:08:54,563 --> 00:08:56,230
Yeah.

420
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,396
I needed the distraction.

421
00:08:57,396 --> 00:08:58,896
I had spent enough of my day

422
00:08:58,896 --> 00:09:00,563
obsessing over

423
00:08:58,896 --> 00:09:00,563
Simon's job offer.

424
00:09:00,563 --> 00:09:02,438
Plus, I don't know ...

425
00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:05,396
Seeing my big, strong dad reach

426
00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:05,396
out to me in a vulnerable way,

427
00:09:05,396 --> 00:09:07,355
it was ...

428
00:09:05,396 --> 00:09:07,355
it was kind of touching.

429
00:09:07,355 --> 00:09:09,688
The red button!

430
00:09:07,355 --> 00:09:09,688
How do you not see it?

431
00:09:09,688 --> 00:09:11,688
Before you got here, I was

432
00:09:09,688 --> 00:09:11,688
turning it on with a broom!

433
00:09:11,688 --> 00:09:14,938
Now just ... Forget it.

434
00:09:11,688 --> 00:09:14,938
Let's get lunch.

435
00:09:14,938 --> 00:09:17,396
If I could just ...

436
00:09:14,938 --> 00:09:17,396
Come with me!

437
00:09:17,396 --> 00:09:19,396
Okay, hold the sauce in

438
00:09:17,396 --> 00:09:19,396
your mouth, swirl it around ...

439
00:09:19,396 --> 00:09:21,521
really coat your tongue.

440
00:09:19,396 --> 00:09:21,521
Now swallow.

441
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:22,688
Mmm!

442
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,730
Right?

443
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,730
Much better.

444
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,396
Okay, Jay,

445
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,396
what you're gonna want to do

446
00:09:26,396 --> 00:09:28,396
is hold the sauce

447
00:09:26,396 --> 00:09:28,396
in your mouth, sw...

448
00:09:28,396 --> 00:09:30,771
I know how eating works.

449
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,438
Not too shabby.

450
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,438
Thank you.

451
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,771
You know who else makes a mean

452
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,771
sauce is Gloria's dead aunt.

453
00:09:34,771 --> 00:09:36,230
Oh.

454
00:09:34,771 --> 00:09:36,230
Oh, there it is right there.

455
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:37,646
Try some. I'm telling you,

456
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:37,646
it's life-changing.

457
00:09:37,646 --> 00:09:39,105
I don't think

458
00:09:37,646 --> 00:09:39,105
we really need two sauces.

459
00:09:39,105 --> 00:09:40,396
And sometimes,

460
00:09:39,105 --> 00:09:40,396
when you have sauces from ...

461
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,563
Now you eat.

462
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,563
Mm.

463
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,563
Oh, yeah, huh?

464
00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:45,021
Oh. Oh, my God.

465
00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:45,021
That is amazing.

466
00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:45,021
Mmm.

467
00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:46,480
It's a secret recipe

468
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,813
that has been in my family

469
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,813
for generations.

470
00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:50,438
Was your sauce buried

471
00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:50,438
in a local time capsule

472
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:53,105
during the bicentennial?

473
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:53,105
Because mine was.

474
00:09:53,105 --> 00:09:56,105
My Great-Aunt Miranda was

475
00:09:53,105 --> 00:09:56,105
the only one that could make it,

476
00:09:56,105 --> 00:09:58,271
and because I

477
00:09:56,105 --> 00:09:58,271
was the oldest girl

478
00:09:58,271 --> 00:09:59,938
that didn't marry

479
00:09:58,271 --> 00:09:59,938
a Peruvian,

480
00:09:59,938 --> 00:10:01,813
the recipe

481
00:09:59,938 --> 00:10:01,813
passed down to me.

482
00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:03,688
Sauce me.

483
00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:03,688
Right.

484
00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:06,188
Ay, I don't have many things

485
00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:06,188
that remind me of Colombia

486
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,855
here in the house,

487
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,855
but now I do.

488
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:09,688
Legend has it our sauce

489
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:09,688
was so secret,

490
00:10:09,688 --> 00:10:11,355
it was only written down

491
00:10:09,688 --> 00:10:11,355
one place.

492
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:13,355
We grew up eating this

493
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:13,355
every Sunday,

494
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:15,688
and now Manny and Joe will,

495
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:15,688
too.

496
00:10:15,688 --> 00:10:17,521
It was tattooed backwards

497
00:10:15,688 --> 00:10:17,521
on a lame stable boy.

498
00:10:17,521 --> 00:10:18,855
You could only read it

499
00:10:17,521 --> 00:10:18,855
in a mirror.

500
00:10:18,855 --> 00:10:20,563
Mm, can I see that recipe?

501
00:10:20,563 --> 00:10:22,063
Uh, uh, well, I think it's

502
00:10:20,563 --> 00:10:22,063
a little bit rude to read ...

503
00:10:22,063 --> 00:10:23,480
Ay!

504
00:10:22,063 --> 00:10:23,480
You pushed my hand!

505
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,813
You've ruined it!

506
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,813
No!

507
00:10:24,813 --> 00:10:26,480
No, no! I can dry it!

508
00:10:24,813 --> 00:10:26,480
I can dry it!

509
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,188
No, now the ink's running.

510
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,188
Cam!

511
00:10:28,188 --> 00:10:31,646
No, and now you have ruined

512
00:10:28,188 --> 00:10:31,646
my great-uncle's napkins!

513
00:10:31,646 --> 00:10:33,855
Does ... Okay, does everything

514
00:10:31,646 --> 00:10:33,855
at this table have meaning?

515
00:10:33,855 --> 00:10:35,188
Ohh.

516
00:10:35,188 --> 00:10:36,521
Hey, sorry I'm late.

517
00:10:36,521 --> 00:10:37,938
My new lady, Rachel,

518
00:10:36,521 --> 00:10:37,938
needed help

519
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,271
picking a pair of shorts

520
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,271
to make her stepdad mad.

521
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:41,980
I wonder what's

522
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:41,980
more of a "screw you" ...

523
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:44,271
you telling me that story or

524
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:44,271
that the ducks now stare at me

525
00:10:44,271 --> 00:10:46,271
while they slowly

526
00:10:44,271 --> 00:10:46,271
go to the bathroom?

527
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,313
Didn't you guys

528
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,313
have three ducks?

529
00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:50,563
Yeah ... one, two...

530
00:10:50,563 --> 00:10:51,938
Oh, no.

531
00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,105
Uh-oh! Dude!

532
00:10:53,105 --> 00:10:54,605
No, no, no,

533
00:10:53,105 --> 00:10:54,605
no, no, no!

534
00:10:54,605 --> 00:10:56,938
Where did he go?

535
00:10:56,938 --> 00:11:00,605
Hey, look, there's

536
00:10:56,938 --> 00:11:00,605
a duck-call app we can use.

537
00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:02,605
Oh, crap. Not her.

538
00:11:02,605 --> 00:11:04,105
What happened

539
00:11:02,605 --> 00:11:04,105
with this one?

540
00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:06,271
Well, I was seeing her

541
00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:06,271
for a while,

542
00:11:06,271 --> 00:11:07,938
then she pulled

543
00:11:06,271 --> 00:11:07,938
her shade down.

544
00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:09,938
Classy. Get ready.

545
00:11:13,813 --> 00:11:16,313
Scatter!

546
00:11:13,813 --> 00:11:16,313
Uh... uh...

547
00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:17,813
What the hell

548
00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:17,813
are you doing?

549
00:11:17,813 --> 00:11:19,730
Are you taking pictures of me

550
00:11:17,813 --> 00:11:19,730
sleeping in a bikini?

551
00:11:19,730 --> 00:11:22,730
No! I was just trying to

552
00:11:19,730 --> 00:11:22,730
lure that little duckling

553
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:24,230
back into

554
00:11:22,730 --> 00:11:24,230
my friend's yard.

555
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,730
Oh, my God!

556
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:28,771
It's so cute!

557
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:28,771
Thank you.

558
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,396
You're adorable

559
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,396
for looking after him.

560
00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:34,563
Hey, you know, I think I've

561
00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:34,563
seen you around school before.

562
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,063
I'm Tammy.

563
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,063
Manny.

564
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,438
You have

565
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,438
got to be kidding me.

566
00:11:38,438 --> 00:11:40,605
What drives

567
00:11:38,438 --> 00:11:40,605
Jay Pritchett?

568
00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:42,771
A desire

569
00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:42,771
never to repeat himself.

570
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:43,855
Let me do that again.

571
00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:47,605
What drives Jay Pritchett?

572
00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:47,605
An Audi.

573
00:11:47,605 --> 00:11:49,438
I'm gonna start with a joke?

574
00:11:47,605 --> 00:11:49,438
I'm following Red Murtaugh.

575
00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:50,771
The man's hilarious.

576
00:11:50,771 --> 00:11:52,480
You've seen him be that baby

577
00:11:50,771 --> 00:11:52,480
in his ads.

578
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,063
Just so you know,

579
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,063
the camera only has

580
00:11:54,063 --> 00:11:55,563
11 hours of battery, so...

581
00:11:54,063 --> 00:11:55,563
Let's see what we've got.

582
00:11:55,563 --> 00:11:56,563
Yep.

583
00:11:57,896 --> 00:12:00,063
Why do I look

584
00:11:57,896 --> 00:12:00,063
so pale and sweaty?

585
00:12:00,063 --> 00:12:02,355
Oh, well,

586
00:12:00,063 --> 00:12:02,355
you're old and Irish.

587
00:12:04,271 --> 00:12:07,605
Hey, um ... uh, Gloria, again,

588
00:12:04,271 --> 00:12:07,605
I just want to say that I'm ...

589
00:12:07,605 --> 00:12:09,438
You're sorry?

590
00:12:07,605 --> 00:12:09,438
You told me.

591
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:12,563
Yes, and, uh ... excuse me ...

592
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:12,563
that it was an accident.

593
00:12:12,563 --> 00:12:13,980
Was it?

594
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:16,021
Yes, of course.

595
00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:18,355
I think.

596
00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:18,355
I ... I don't know.

597
00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:21,521
You have destroyed my children's

598
00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:21,521
connection to their past,

599
00:12:21,521 --> 00:12:23,480
and you might have done it

600
00:12:21,521 --> 00:12:23,480
on purpose?

601
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,813
I'm sorry. Andrew humiliated me

602
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,813
today at the farmers' market,

603
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,646
and I've always been

604
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,646
sauce-competitive...

605
00:12:29,646 --> 00:12:31,813
Look, just let me help you

606
00:12:29,646 --> 00:12:31,813
re-create it.

607
00:12:31,813 --> 00:12:34,980
I saw my aunt make it once

608
00:12:31,813 --> 00:12:34,980
when I was 8 years old.

609
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,271
You think

610
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,271
I'm going to remember ...

611
00:12:37,355 --> 00:12:39,646
Cilantro!

612
00:12:37,355 --> 00:12:39,646
What?

613
00:12:39,646 --> 00:12:43,146
That car backfiring,

614
00:12:39,646 --> 00:12:43,146
it sounded like gunshots.

615
00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:46,646
I remember when I was a little

616
00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:46,646
girl in my aunt's kitchen,

617
00:12:46,646 --> 00:12:50,146
and she started chopping

618
00:12:46,646 --> 00:12:50,146
the cilantro really loud

619
00:12:50,146 --> 00:12:52,146
so that we couldn't

620
00:12:50,146 --> 00:12:52,146
hear the noise.

621
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,813
Yes, okay. Well,

622
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,813
what else do you remember?

623
00:12:53,813 --> 00:12:55,813
Well, nothing, Cam.

624
00:12:53,813 --> 00:12:55,813
It was 30 years ago.

625
00:12:55,813 --> 00:12:58,855
No, the recipe is inside you!

626
00:12:55,813 --> 00:12:58,855
It just needs to come out!

627
00:12:58,855 --> 00:13:02,271
Mommy, I found it.

628
00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:04,271
Lemon juice!

629
00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:04,271
What?

630
00:13:04,271 --> 00:13:06,271
Oh, see? I told you

631
00:13:04,271 --> 00:13:06,271
it's just a matter of time!

632
00:13:06,271 --> 00:13:08,605
Capers, jalapeño,

633
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:11,146
and a dash of black pepper!

634
00:13:16,021 --> 00:13:17,438
It's just so sad.

635
00:13:17,438 --> 00:13:19,230
The guy decides to

636
00:13:17,438 --> 00:13:19,230
spend the rest of his life

637
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:21,105
with some zombie

638
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:21,105
he doesn't love.

639
00:13:22,146 --> 00:13:24,313
Your table is ready.

640
00:13:22,146 --> 00:13:24,313
Smashing!

641
00:13:24,313 --> 00:13:27,146
- A bucket of chips ...

642
00:13:24,313 --> 00:13:27,146
- We're not doing that.

643
00:13:27,146 --> 00:13:28,146
Okay.

644
00:13:28,146 --> 00:13:29,813
Hey, um, real quick ...

645
00:13:29,813 --> 00:13:32,646
Why wasn't it more uncomfortable

646
00:13:29,813 --> 00:13:32,646
for you to watch that movie?

647
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,438
Right. Because zombies

648
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,438
killed my parents.

649
00:13:35,438 --> 00:13:37,771
Oh, never mind.

650
00:13:35,438 --> 00:13:37,771
I forgot you can't have

651
00:13:35,438 --> 00:13:37,771
an adult conversation.

652
00:13:37,771 --> 00:13:39,480
No, okay, yes.

653
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,980
If ... If we would have watched

654
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,980
that movie a few months ago,

655
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:44,813
it would have been

656
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:44,813
really weird, but...

657
00:13:44,813 --> 00:13:46,355
we're all good now,

658
00:13:44,813 --> 00:13:46,355
right?

659
00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:49,355
Oh, yeah.

660
00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:49,355
No, I mean, I am good.

661
00:13:49,355 --> 00:13:51,855
Dylan and I picked up

662
00:13:49,355 --> 00:13:51,855
right where we left off.

663
00:13:51,855 --> 00:13:53,855
I was just

664
00:13:51,855 --> 00:13:53,855
checking on you.

665
00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:56,521
'Cause for a while there,

666
00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:56,521
you were getting a little, uh...

667
00:13:58,355 --> 00:14:00,146
Yeah.

668
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:01,813
Beth stood by me.

669
00:14:01,813 --> 00:14:04,313
Well, you know,

670
00:14:01,813 --> 00:14:04,313
as close as she could.

671
00:14:01,813 --> 00:14:04,313
Hmm.

672
00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:06,480
That's when I knew

673
00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:06,480
I was with the right person.

674
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,730
And ...

675
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,730
And don't get me wrong ...

676
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:10,396
I was ...

677
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:10,396
I was pretty hung up on you.

678
00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:13,563
But once I got it down to

679
00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:13,563
only one woman in my head,

680
00:14:13,563 --> 00:14:15,438
I saw Beth

681
00:14:13,563 --> 00:14:15,438
in a whole new way,

682
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,021
and we were able to

683
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,021
move forward.

684
00:14:17,021 --> 00:14:19,855
That makes sense.

685
00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:21,146
I'm happy for you.

686
00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:25,813
Look at us,

687
00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:25,813
brother and sister,

688
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:27,146
separated from our mum...

689
00:14:27,146 --> 00:14:30,146
Oh,

690
00:14:27,146 --> 00:14:30,146
you're so good at that.

691
00:14:30,146 --> 00:14:31,480
Hey,

692
00:14:30,146 --> 00:14:31,480
what do you think about

693
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,146
inviting Haley and Dylan

694
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,146
to the wedding?

695
00:14:34,146 --> 00:14:36,313
I love that idea.

696
00:14:36,313 --> 00:14:38,480
And I love you

697
00:14:36,313 --> 00:14:38,480
for having it.

698
00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:43,980
Why do you think people

699
00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:43,980
stopped saying "coinkydink"?

700
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:45,480
Dylan, um...

701
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:46,896
Oh, God.

702
00:14:46,896 --> 00:14:48,646
You're breaking up with me

703
00:14:46,896 --> 00:14:48,646
again, aren't you?

704
00:14:48,646 --> 00:14:50,813
I'm sorry.

705
00:14:48,646 --> 00:14:50,813
I just ... I ...

706
00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:52,980
I feel like Andy and Beth

707
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,480
and everyone in the world

708
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,480
are moving forward,

709
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,105
and we're moving

710
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,105
backward.

711
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,480
Actually,

712
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,480
we're stopping,

713
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,188
because I want to

714
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,188
get out of the car.

715
00:15:00,188 --> 00:15:02,688
Dylan ...

716
00:15:00,188 --> 00:15:02,688
Stop!

717
00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:05,688
I'm tired of

718
00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:05,688
being jerked around.

719
00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:08,980
Now I'm moving forward,

720
00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:08,980
too.

721
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,646
Can't you at least

722
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,646
call an Uber?

723
00:15:10,646 --> 00:15:14,480
You know they banned me for

724
00:15:10,646 --> 00:15:14,480
talking too much to the drivers!

725
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,146
She's still not answering.

726
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,146
I can't believe we lost them.

727
00:15:17,146 --> 00:15:19,813
We're almost home. I can track

728
00:15:17,146 --> 00:15:19,813
her phone from the computer.

729
00:15:19,813 --> 00:15:21,480
"I hope

730
00:15:19,813 --> 00:15:21,480
you can track her phone

731
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,021
better than you tracked

732
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,021
that van."

733
00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:25,105
I'm sorry, Claire.

734
00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:25,105
Just 'cause I'm 1/64 Cherokee,

735
00:15:25,105 --> 00:15:26,771
it doesn't make me

736
00:15:25,105 --> 00:15:26,771
a natural tracker.

737
00:15:26,771 --> 00:15:28,480
You realize I'm not

738
00:15:26,771 --> 00:15:28,480
participating in this.

739
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,313
Well, you made it pretty clear

740
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,313
it was my fault we lost them

741
00:15:30,313 --> 00:15:32,146
due to

742
00:15:30,313 --> 00:15:32,146
my less-than-manly driving.

743
00:15:32,146 --> 00:15:34,646
Oh, my God.

744
00:15:32,146 --> 00:15:34,646
Yes, this again.

745
00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:36,271
I'm not letting it go till you

746
00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:36,271
admit that you wish I was a ...

747
00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:37,313
Phil, it's the van!

748
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,980
In my own house?

749
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,980
Oh, no!

750
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,688
Okay, now, hang on.

751
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,688
Don't hold me back, Claire!

752
00:15:43,688 --> 00:15:45,563
I may be

753
00:15:43,688 --> 00:15:45,563
1/64 Cherokee,

754
00:15:45,563 --> 00:15:49,646
but I'm also 63/64

755
00:15:45,563 --> 00:15:49,646
crazy white guy!

756
00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:51,105
Where is he?

757
00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:52,271
- Are you okay?

758
00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:52,271
- What are you talking about?

759
00:15:52,271 --> 00:15:53,605
- Are you okay?

760
00:15:52,271 --> 00:15:53,605
- I-I-I'm fine.

761
00:15:53,605 --> 00:15:57,396
- No, I'm sorry! I-I ...

762
00:15:53,605 --> 00:15:57,396
- You are now!

763
00:15:59,188 --> 00:16:00,105
Reuben?

764
00:16:00,105 --> 00:16:01,438
Oh, my God!

765
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:03,771
I killed Reuben!

766
00:16:03,771 --> 00:16:04,938
Oh, babe?

767
00:16:04,938 --> 00:16:06,938
What's going on?

768
00:16:04,938 --> 00:16:06,938
That's blood.

769
00:16:06,938 --> 00:16:12,105
In my defense, I didn't think

770
00:16:06,938 --> 00:16:12,105
anyone would ever find out.

771
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,230
Stay with me, Reuben!

772
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:14,938
Okay,

773
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:14,938
so Reuben is the one

774
00:16:14,938 --> 00:16:16,355
who picked you up

775
00:16:14,938 --> 00:16:16,355
in the van?

776
00:16:16,355 --> 00:16:18,771
Yes, it was his dad's ...

777
00:16:16,355 --> 00:16:18,771
Oh, my God!

778
00:16:18,771 --> 00:16:20,146
Have you

779
00:16:18,771 --> 00:16:20,146
been following me?

780
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,313
He's coming to.

781
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,313
He's gonna be fine.

782
00:16:22,313 --> 00:16:23,480
No! No!

783
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,313
Don't try

784
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,313
and make this our fault.

785
00:16:25,313 --> 00:16:28,355
You are the one who went to the

786
00:16:25,313 --> 00:16:28,355
liquor store and bought ... what?

787
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,688
Ice.

788
00:16:30,688 --> 00:16:34,688
Reuben sprained his hamstring

789
00:16:30,688 --> 00:16:34,688
today while playing quidditch.

790
00:16:34,688 --> 00:16:36,938
Honey, don't take this

791
00:16:34,688 --> 00:16:36,938
the wrong way, but Reuben?

792
00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,480
We're in love.

793
00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,480
Oh, shut up.

794
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,271
No, no, no, keep talking!

795
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,271
Remember what happened

796
00:16:40,271 --> 00:16:42,146
when you tripped and fell

797
00:16:40,271 --> 00:16:42,146
right before we got here?

798
00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:43,980
You know what?

799
00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:43,980
Caltech is hard.

800
00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:46,438
Between all the geniuses

801
00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:46,438
and breaking up with Sanjay,

802
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,271
I just wanted

803
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,271
something comfortable,

804
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:50,771
even if it is a wormy little

805
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:50,771
dork that worships me.

806
00:16:50,771 --> 00:16:52,813
Oh, honey, I understand.

807
00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:54,563
Oh, like mother,

808
00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:54,563
like daughter, I guess.

809
00:16:54,563 --> 00:16:56,230
Okay.

810
00:16:54,563 --> 00:16:56,230
He's gonna be fine.

811
00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:57,896
Phil, come over here

812
00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:57,896
and talk to me for a second.

813
00:16:57,896 --> 00:16:59,355
Oh, okay.

814
00:16:59,355 --> 00:17:00,980
Well, I guess we're done

815
00:16:59,355 --> 00:17:00,980
with my thing already.

816
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,771
If I was ever stupid enough

817
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,771
to imply, for one second,

818
00:17:03,771 --> 00:17:05,438
that you were not

819
00:17:03,771 --> 00:17:05,438
bad boy enough for me,

820
00:17:05,438 --> 00:17:08,605
I couldn't possibly think that

821
00:17:05,438 --> 00:17:08,605
right now.

822
00:17:08,605 --> 00:17:10,396
Because

823
00:17:08,605 --> 00:17:10,396
I attacked a 16-year-old?

824
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,355
You didn't know

825
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,355
who was in that closet.

826
00:17:13,355 --> 00:17:14,896
That's true.

827
00:17:13,355 --> 00:17:14,896
Mm-hmm.

828
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:16,438
Look, he's up.

829
00:17:16,438 --> 00:17:17,771
Okay, we're gonna

830
00:17:16,438 --> 00:17:17,771
leave the two of you alone.

831
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:19,438
Oh, wait, wait, wait,

832
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:19,438
no, no, no.

833
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:22,063
Yeah, we're not gonna

834
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:22,063
tell anyone about this, right?

835
00:17:22,063 --> 00:17:25,563
Forbidden love.

836
00:17:22,063 --> 00:17:25,563
It's ... It's hotter that way.

837
00:17:25,563 --> 00:17:27,730
Also,

838
00:17:25,563 --> 00:17:27,730
I ... I had a-a-a wand.

839
00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:30,521
Um...

840
00:17:30,521 --> 00:17:32,646
I hate myself so much.

841
00:17:32,646 --> 00:17:34,063
Mmm! It's good.

842
00:17:34,063 --> 00:17:36,480
Of course it's good.

843
00:17:34,063 --> 00:17:36,480
It's ... I'm sure ... o... kay.

844
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,646
Oh, my gosh.

845
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,646
It's glorious.

846
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,313
So much better

847
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,313
than mine.

848
00:17:40,313 --> 00:17:41,980
Well, your sauce is ...

849
00:17:40,313 --> 00:17:41,980
Is garbage!

850
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:43,355
Mm-hmm.

851
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:43,355
It's mostly ketchup.

852
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,771
Gloria, this is

853
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,771
what we need to be selling

854
00:17:44,771 --> 00:17:46,063
at the farmers' market.

855
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:47,730
We would have them lined up

856
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:47,730
clear down

857
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,771
past the cruelty-free

858
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,771
beaver-milk stand.

859
00:17:49,771 --> 00:17:51,271
I would crush Andrew.

860
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,855
I cannot go back

861
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,855
to the farmers' market.

862
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,855
The year was 2011.

863
00:17:55,855 --> 00:17:57,563
I had just come back

864
00:17:55,855 --> 00:17:57,563
from Colombia

865
00:17:57,563 --> 00:18:01,188
with a box full of our family's

866
00:17:57,563 --> 00:18:01,188
homemade hair relaxer,

867
00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:03,355
the Colombian Comb-Out.

868
00:18:03,355 --> 00:18:07,563
Friday, I sold 50 bottles,

869
00:18:03,355 --> 00:18:07,563
but Saturday...

870
00:18:07,563 --> 00:18:11,146
It says on the bottle to

871
00:18:07,563 --> 00:18:11,146
leave it in for three minutes!

872
00:18:11,146 --> 00:18:14,313
No, it says,

873
00:18:11,146 --> 00:18:14,313
"Leave in for three.

874
00:18:14,313 --> 00:18:16,313
Minutes later,

875
00:18:14,313 --> 00:18:16,313
you will look fantastic."

876
00:18:16,313 --> 00:18:18,146
One, two, three,

877
00:18:16,313 --> 00:18:18,146
comb it out.

878
00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:19,896
Ay, I see how

879
00:18:18,146 --> 00:18:19,896
it can be confusing.

880
00:18:21,146 --> 00:18:24,146
If it's true,

881
00:18:21,146 --> 00:18:24,146
as many people theorize,

882
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:27,605
that Stonehenge was,

883
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:27,605
in fact, a druid closet ...

884
00:18:27,605 --> 00:18:28,605
Mitchell.

885
00:18:27,605 --> 00:18:28,605
Hmm?

886
00:18:28,605 --> 00:18:30,063
Uh, oh. Oh, yeah.

887
00:18:30,063 --> 00:18:32,063
Oh, good. We ... We got it!

888
00:18:30,063 --> 00:18:32,063
What's with you?

889
00:18:32,063 --> 00:18:33,646
I'm sorry.

890
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,646
I'm sorry. I got this whole

891
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,646
work thing stressing me out.

892
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:36,980
It's your lucky day.

893
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,980
You have an audience

894
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,980
with a titan of industry

895
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:41,730
without having to buy

896
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:41,730
the $15-a-plate dinner ticket.

897
00:18:41,730 --> 00:18:43,438
What's the issue?

898
00:18:43,438 --> 00:18:47,230
Well, I got this job offer at

899
00:18:43,438 --> 00:18:47,230
this really big firm, but, um...

900
00:18:47,230 --> 00:18:50,230
I've actually,

901
00:18:47,230 --> 00:18:50,230
uh, been thinking about

902
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,188
maybe starting

903
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,188
my own practice.

904
00:18:52,188 --> 00:18:54,355
What's your gut tell you?

905
00:18:52,188 --> 00:18:54,355
I don't know.

906
00:18:54,355 --> 00:18:57,188
I-I would like to have my own

907
00:18:54,355 --> 00:18:57,188
firm, but that's really scary.

908
00:18:57,188 --> 00:19:00,021
But this other offer

909
00:18:57,188 --> 00:19:00,021
is very attractive,

910
00:19:00,021 --> 00:19:02,021
but I'd have to report

911
00:19:00,021 --> 00:19:02,021
to this guy who I hate,

912
00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:04,105
which, you know, might be

913
00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:04,105
worth it for the job security ...

914
00:19:04,105 --> 00:19:06,146
Take the offer.

915
00:19:04,105 --> 00:19:06,146
Really?

916
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,521
It takes a certain type

917
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,521
of personality

918
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,855
to run your own thing.

919
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:10,521
You have to be a fighter.

920
00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:11,938
Well, this is fun.

921
00:19:11,938 --> 00:19:13,146
You wanted

922
00:19:11,938 --> 00:19:13,146
my honest opinion.

923
00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:14,980
No, Cam! I said no.

924
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:18,480
The polar ice caps are melting,

925
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:18,480
gridlock in Washington ...

926
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,980
America needs to

927
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,980
feel good again, Gloria.

928
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:23,146
- Let them taste your sauce.

929
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:23,146
- What's happening now?

930
00:19:23,146 --> 00:19:26,480
He wants me to sell my sauce

931
00:19:23,146 --> 00:19:26,480
at the farmers' market,

932
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,105
but I am

933
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,105
not interested.

934
00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:30,063
- I agree with Gloria.

935
00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:30,063
- Thank you so much.

936
00:19:30,063 --> 00:19:31,896
Yeah, you crashed and burned

937
00:19:30,063 --> 00:19:31,896
with the hair thing.

938
00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:33,396
You need more

939
00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:33,396
of that humiliation?

940
00:19:33,396 --> 00:19:35,730
We don't know that

941
00:19:33,396 --> 00:19:35,730
that would happen.

942
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:37,855
Disappearing middle class,

943
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:37,855
racial unrest...

944
00:19:37,855 --> 00:19:40,230
You got a nice thing going here,

945
00:19:37,855 --> 00:19:40,230
Gloria. Enjoy it.

946
00:19:40,230 --> 00:19:42,230
What? You don't think

947
00:19:40,230 --> 00:19:42,230
that I can do it?

948
00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:44,021
No. No, he doesn't.

949
00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:46,646
He thinks that he's the only

950
00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:46,646
business titan in this family.

951
00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:50,688
Nobody can tell me

952
00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:50,688
what I can or cannot do.

953
00:19:50,688 --> 00:19:52,855
I have some sauce

954
00:19:50,688 --> 00:19:52,855
to sell.

955
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:55,896
And I'm gonna go

956
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:55,896
register my new firm right now.

957
00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:57,563
And I'm gonna storm out,

958
00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:57,563
too,

959
00:19:57,563 --> 00:20:02,063
even though both of those things

960
00:19:57,563 --> 00:20:02,063
actually make me very happy.

961
00:20:10,813 --> 00:20:13,980
You want to know

962
00:20:10,813 --> 00:20:13,980
what drove Jay Pritchett?

963
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,438
People telling me

964
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,438
I wasn't good enough.

965
00:20:16,438 --> 00:20:18,105
There's something about

966
00:20:16,438 --> 00:20:18,105
a person telling you

967
00:20:18,105 --> 00:20:19,438
you can't do something.

968
00:20:19,438 --> 00:20:21,480
Blood.

969
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,480
It just lights

970
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,480
the competitive fires...

971
00:20:26,813 --> 00:20:28,938
drives us to take risks...

972
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,438
opens us up

973
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,438
to new opportunities...

974
00:20:34,438 --> 00:20:36,105
Oh, hey, Sarah.

975
00:20:36,105 --> 00:20:37,230
I'm sorry

976
00:20:36,105 --> 00:20:37,230
about your cat.

977
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:38,438
I heard

978
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:38,438
you got arrested.

979
00:20:39,396 --> 00:20:41,896
Everything I did, I did

980
00:20:39,396 --> 00:20:41,896
to prove the naysayers wrong.

981
00:20:41,896 --> 00:20:44,396
So, to everyone who didn't think

982
00:20:41,896 --> 00:20:44,396
I was good enough ...

983
00:20:44,396 --> 00:20:46,230
Look, dad!

984
00:20:44,396 --> 00:20:46,230
I tied my shoes!

985
00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:48,063
Good job, Joe!

986
00:20:48,063 --> 00:20:50,063
Ah.

987
00:20:50,063 --> 00:20:52,021
how do

988
00:20:50,063 --> 00:20:52,021
you like me now?

989
00:20:57,021 --> 00:20:58,480
Honey, I don't want to

990
00:20:57,021 --> 00:20:58,480
go to this Titans dinner

991
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,813
any more than you do,

992
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,813
but we're gonna be late.

993
00:20:59,813 --> 00:21:01,521
Phil.

994
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,438
Phil. Phil!

995
00:21:03,438 --> 00:21:04,313
Dunphy.

996
00:21:04,313 --> 00:21:05,605
What is going on?

997
00:21:05,605 --> 00:21:06,938
I'm trying to

998
00:21:05,605 --> 00:21:06,938
pay Luke's impound fee,

999
00:21:06,938 --> 00:21:08,230
but this

1000
00:21:06,938 --> 00:21:08,230
automated phone system

1001
00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:09,563
doesn't understand

1002
00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:09,563
anything I'm saying.

1003
00:21:09,563 --> 00:21:12,480
Dun-phy.

1004
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,480
"Dun-fee." Yes.

1005
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,146
No! No!

1006
00:21:16,146 --> 00:21:17,605
Not Bill Dunphy.

1007
00:21:17,605 --> 00:21:19,855
We went over my first name

1008
00:21:17,605 --> 00:21:19,855
for 20 minutes!

1009
00:21:19,855 --> 00:21:22,521
Phil!

1010
00:21:22,521 --> 00:21:24,521
Phil!

1011
00:21:24,521 --> 00:21:26,355
Phil!

1012
00:21:26,355 --> 00:21:27,605
Phil!

1013
00:21:27,605 --> 00:21:28,938
Phil!

1014
00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:34,855
Captions by VITAC :