1 00:00:02,732 --> 00:00:03,897 Well, I'm off. 2 00:00:03,897 --> 00:00:05,355 While I do 3 00:00:03,897 --> 00:00:05,355 love our tradition 4 00:00:05,355 --> 00:00:06,936 of still getting together 5 00:00:05,355 --> 00:00:06,936 on Saturday 6 00:00:06,936 --> 00:00:08,352 for Thanksgiving leftovers, 7 00:00:08,352 --> 00:00:09,933 maybe next time 8 00:00:08,352 --> 00:00:09,933 we can order a Turkey 9 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,681 that doesn't have 10 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,681 its own event horizon. 11 00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:14,845 Oh, well, who cares? 12 00:00:14,845 --> 00:00:16,094 I know it's totally 13 00:00:14,845 --> 00:00:16,094 gonna slay them 14 00:00:16,094 --> 00:00:18,008 in my astrophysics club. 15 00:00:18,008 --> 00:00:20,173 First time anyone in that club 16 00:00:18,008 --> 00:00:20,173 gets slayed. 17 00:00:20,173 --> 00:00:22,753 Let me give you 18 00:00:20,173 --> 00:00:22,753 a hug goodbye. 19 00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:25,542 I cannot believe that you're 20 00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:25,542 already going to college. 21 00:00:25,542 --> 00:00:27,873 It seems like yesterday 22 00:00:25,542 --> 00:00:27,873 when you were a little girl 23 00:00:27,873 --> 00:00:29,746 reading at college level. 24 00:00:30,370 --> 00:00:33,077 Check you out! 25 00:00:30,370 --> 00:00:33,077 Thanks. 26 00:00:33,077 --> 00:00:34,741 I have a hot study partner 27 00:00:33,077 --> 00:00:34,741 coming over, so ... 28 00:00:34,741 --> 00:00:36,240 What are you making, 29 00:00:34,741 --> 00:00:36,240 my little chef? 30 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,862 I'm making pasghetti! 31 00:00:38,862 --> 00:00:41,693 You are adorable. 32 00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:44,856 I remember when I had everyone 33 00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:44,856 in the palm of my hand 34 00:00:44,856 --> 00:00:46,854 with a two-foot putt 35 00:00:44,856 --> 00:00:46,854 like "pasghetti." 36 00:00:46,854 --> 00:00:48,686 We both know you know 37 00:00:46,854 --> 00:00:48,686 how to say it. 38 00:00:49,351 --> 00:00:50,559 Hey, guys, 39 00:00:49,351 --> 00:00:50,559 thanks again 40 00:00:50,559 --> 00:00:52,016 for helping me 41 00:00:50,559 --> 00:00:52,016 to get that listing. 42 00:00:52,016 --> 00:00:53,057 Cyril's house. 43 00:00:53,057 --> 00:00:55,013 Pretty sexy, huh? 44 00:00:53,057 --> 00:00:55,013 Ridonk. 45 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,886 This place makes 46 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,886 the playboy mansion 47 00:00:56,886 --> 00:00:58,509 look like 48 00:00:56,886 --> 00:00:58,509 an old folks' home. 49 00:00:58,509 --> 00:01:00,507 Which I guess 50 00:00:58,509 --> 00:01:00,507 it kind of is now. 51 00:01:00,507 --> 00:01:02,173 Infinity pool, 52 00:01:00,507 --> 00:01:02,173 killer views, 53 00:01:02,173 --> 00:01:04,420 state-of-the-art game room, 54 00:01:02,173 --> 00:01:04,420 home theater... 55 00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:06,085 Plus that 56 00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:06,085 four-person shower. 57 00:01:06,085 --> 00:01:07,750 Did you know that's where Cyril 58 00:01:06,085 --> 00:01:07,750 met his new husband? 59 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:08,874 Aww. 60 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:08,874 Mm-hmm. 61 00:01:08,874 --> 00:01:10,872 Even the security code's 62 00:01:08,874 --> 00:01:10,872 sexy. 63 00:01:10,872 --> 00:01:13,203 Literally. It spells out "sexy" 64 00:01:10,872 --> 00:01:13,203 on the keypad. 65 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,910 Even I think 66 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,910 that's trying too hard, 67 00:01:14,910 --> 00:01:16,866 and at this point, 68 00:01:14,910 --> 00:01:16,866 I'm mostly body spray. 69 00:01:16,866 --> 00:01:19,363 And that master bathtub alone 70 00:01:16,866 --> 00:01:19,363 has been in four rap videos 71 00:01:19,363 --> 00:01:21,694 plus a murder re-creation 72 00:01:19,363 --> 00:01:21,694 on a "Dateline" special 73 00:01:21,694 --> 00:01:22,777 called "Rub-a-Dub Dead." 74 00:01:24,109 --> 00:01:26,190 When I was younger, 75 00:01:24,109 --> 00:01:26,190 I was a little embarrassed 76 00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:27,730 my dad was just 77 00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:27,730 a real-estate agent. 78 00:01:27,730 --> 00:01:29,895 But as I got older, 79 00:01:27,730 --> 00:01:29,895 I realized, 80 00:01:29,895 --> 00:01:32,517 hey, he may not have 81 00:01:29,895 --> 00:01:32,517 the coolest job in the world, 82 00:01:32,517 --> 00:01:34,016 but he puts food on the table 83 00:01:34,016 --> 00:01:35,389 and has access to 84 00:01:34,016 --> 00:01:35,389 a bunch of empty houses 85 00:01:35,389 --> 00:01:37,179 I can sneak into." 86 00:01:37,179 --> 00:01:39,843 Wow. Nice pool at 87 00:01:37,179 --> 00:01:39,843 the three-bedroom 88 00:01:37,179 --> 00:01:39,843 in Hillgrove. 89 00:01:39,843 --> 00:01:41,383 Well, looky here, 90 00:01:41,383 --> 00:01:43,173 one of my kids showing interest 91 00:01:41,383 --> 00:01:43,173 in the family biz. 92 00:01:43,173 --> 00:01:45,130 Oh, I don't know 93 00:01:43,173 --> 00:01:45,130 if I'm smart enough for that. 94 00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:46,711 You have to remember 95 00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:46,711 so much stuff, 96 00:01:46,711 --> 00:01:48,210 like when anyone's 97 00:01:46,711 --> 00:01:48,210 gonna be there. 98 00:01:48,210 --> 00:01:49,541 That's what 99 00:01:48,210 --> 00:01:49,541 the datebook's for. 100 00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:51,373 Plus you have to remember 101 00:01:51,373 --> 00:01:54,037 all of those 102 00:01:51,373 --> 00:01:54,037 lock-box combinations. 103 00:01:54,037 --> 00:01:57,367 I just use 104 00:01:54,037 --> 00:01:57,367 a very special birthday. 105 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,282 Aww. 106 00:01:58,282 --> 00:02:00,031 Houdini's. 107 00:02:00,031 --> 00:02:01,696 I left my watch 108 00:02:00,031 --> 00:02:01,696 by Cyril's tub. 109 00:02:01,696 --> 00:02:03,944 I'm usually extra careful 110 00:02:01,696 --> 00:02:03,944 not to leave any trace 111 00:02:03,944 --> 00:02:05,859 that I was at 112 00:02:03,944 --> 00:02:05,859 one of my dad's houses, 113 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:10,021 but this tub 114 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:10,021 has 16 pulsating jets, 115 00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:11,394 and the whole floor vibrates 116 00:02:11,394 --> 00:02:13,517 with something called 117 00:02:11,394 --> 00:02:13,517 "Swedish release." 118 00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:17,430 It took me 20 minutes 119 00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:17,430 to find my car in the driveway. 120 00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:18,679 I'm so sorry, grandpa. 121 00:02:18,679 --> 00:02:20,178 I have to go do this thing 122 00:02:18,679 --> 00:02:20,178 for work. 123 00:02:20,178 --> 00:02:21,843 Thanks. 124 00:02:20,178 --> 00:02:21,843 Hold on. 125 00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:24,715 No one leaves this house 126 00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:24,715 without a bag of meat. 127 00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:24,715 Mm. 128 00:02:24,715 --> 00:02:27,046 Bye, honey. 129 00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,877 Can you believe 130 00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,877 how conscientious 131 00:02:28,877 --> 00:02:30,542 our little girl 132 00:02:28,877 --> 00:02:30,542 has become? 133 00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:32,873 Racing off to work 134 00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:32,873 on a Saturday. 135 00:02:32,873 --> 00:02:34,538 There's a 30% chance 136 00:02:32,873 --> 00:02:34,538 she thinks it's Friday, 137 00:02:34,538 --> 00:02:36,703 but still. 138 00:02:34,538 --> 00:02:36,703 Mm-hmm. 139 00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:37,952 Are you still mad at me? 140 00:02:37,952 --> 00:02:40,200 Mmmmm-hmm. 141 00:02:41,281 --> 00:02:43,237 I lost my cool on Phil 142 00:02:41,281 --> 00:02:43,237 last night. 143 00:02:43,237 --> 00:02:45,860 But in my defense, 144 00:02:43,237 --> 00:02:45,860 I had been traveling all day, 145 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:48,691 and we had different ideas 146 00:02:48,691 --> 00:02:50,355 about how we were gonna spend 147 00:02:48,691 --> 00:02:50,355 the evening. 148 00:02:50,355 --> 00:02:53,103 Get in here right now. 149 00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:55,350 Get in this tub, 150 00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:55,350 you dirty girl. 151 00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:56,891 Oh, honey, 152 00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:56,891 that is so sweet, 153 00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:58,681 but I've been up 154 00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:58,681 since 5:00 A.M. 155 00:02:58,681 --> 00:03:02,385 Don't overthink it, babe. 156 00:02:58,681 --> 00:03:02,385 Just take the plunge. 157 00:03:02,385 --> 00:03:03,717 Oh, good, you're back. 158 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:04,925 Could you grab 159 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:04,925 the underwater camera? 160 00:03:04,925 --> 00:03:06,381 You're bathing 161 00:03:04,925 --> 00:03:06,381 with them now? 162 00:03:06,381 --> 00:03:08,212 They waddled into the garage 163 00:03:06,381 --> 00:03:08,212 and got oil on them. 164 00:03:08,212 --> 00:03:09,795 And then when they were in here 165 00:03:08,212 --> 00:03:09,795 by themselves, 166 00:03:09,795 --> 00:03:11,418 all they wanted to do 167 00:03:09,795 --> 00:03:11,418 was horse around, so... 168 00:03:11,418 --> 00:03:13,249 I spent the morning 169 00:03:11,418 --> 00:03:13,249 in Berkeley 170 00:03:13,249 --> 00:03:15,040 and the afternoon 171 00:03:13,249 --> 00:03:15,040 in Portland. 172 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,746 I deserve 173 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,746 to feel clean again. 174 00:03:16,746 --> 00:03:18,452 But now 175 00:03:16,746 --> 00:03:18,452 the nice, soothing tub 176 00:03:18,452 --> 00:03:20,534 that I've been 177 00:03:18,452 --> 00:03:20,534 dreaming about all day 178 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,532 is filled with feathers 179 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,532 and motor oil 180 00:03:22,532 --> 00:03:23,906 and probably bird flu. 181 00:03:23,906 --> 00:03:25,945 So, no. No. 182 00:03:23,906 --> 00:03:25,945 You just sit tight, 183 00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:27,735 and I will use the hose 184 00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:27,735 in the backyard. 185 00:03:29,191 --> 00:03:30,690 Could you still 186 00:03:29,191 --> 00:03:30,690 grab the camera? 187 00:03:31,606 --> 00:03:33,022 Okay. I was harsh. 188 00:03:33,022 --> 00:03:36,019 But the flight back 189 00:03:33,022 --> 00:03:36,019 from Portland was rough. 190 00:03:36,019 --> 00:03:38,891 The overheads were packed 191 00:03:36,019 --> 00:03:38,891 with foldable bikes, 192 00:03:38,891 --> 00:03:42,096 and I was sitting next to a guy 193 00:03:38,891 --> 00:03:42,096 using a typewriter. 194 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:45,175 Still, Phil is really 195 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:45,175 holding on to this one. 196 00:03:45,175 --> 00:03:47,008 Mmmmm-hmm. 197 00:03:49,338 --> 00:03:51,294 Pfft. 198 00:03:49,338 --> 00:03:51,294 Well, Phil's mad at me. 199 00:03:51,294 --> 00:03:52,293 Come here, little girl. 200 00:03:52,293 --> 00:03:53,876 Let me give you a hug. 201 00:03:53,876 --> 00:03:55,207 You're not shy with those hugs 202 00:03:53,876 --> 00:03:55,207 today, are you? 203 00:03:55,207 --> 00:03:56,206 Oh, and come here. 204 00:03:55,207 --> 00:03:56,206 Oh, me too? 205 00:03:56,206 --> 00:03:57,705 I don't know what it is, 206 00:03:57,705 --> 00:04:00,702 but I get so emotional 207 00:03:57,705 --> 00:04:00,702 around the holidays. 208 00:04:00,702 --> 00:04:02,200 Awww. Ha, ha. 209 00:04:17,602 --> 00:04:18,851 Oh, God. 210 00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:20,349 Oh, no, no, no, no, 211 00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:20,349 no, no, no. 212 00:04:20,349 --> 00:04:22,222 Mr. Dunphy? Is that you? 213 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,344 Haley? 214 00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:27,051 Andy, wh... uh, 215 00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:27,051 what are you doing here? 216 00:04:27,051 --> 00:04:28,507 Setting up for an open house 217 00:04:27,051 --> 00:04:28,507 tomorrow. 218 00:04:28,507 --> 00:04:30,339 What are you d... 219 00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:33,211 Splish, splash, 220 00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:33,211 who was taking a bath? 221 00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:33,211 Me. 222 00:04:33,211 --> 00:04:35,085 I snuck over last night, 223 00:04:33,211 --> 00:04:35,085 but the faucet leaked, 224 00:04:35,085 --> 00:04:36,208 and I guess 225 00:04:35,085 --> 00:04:36,208 I was so mellowed out 226 00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:37,415 I forgot to drain the tub. 227 00:04:37,415 --> 00:04:38,789 That's pretty darn 228 00:04:37,415 --> 00:04:38,789 mellowed out. 229 00:04:38,789 --> 00:04:39,871 Were you burning incense? 230 00:04:39,871 --> 00:04:41,869 Uh, yep. Sure was. 231 00:04:39,871 --> 00:04:41,869 Okay. 232 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,365 Well, I'll lay some towels down. 233 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,365 You drain the tub. 234 00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:50,070 Is it stuck? 235 00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,859 No, I'm checking my makeup 236 00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,859 in the reflection. 237 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:52,858 Yes, it's stuck. 238 00:04:52,858 --> 00:04:54,856 Here. Let me help. 239 00:04:54,856 --> 00:04:56,688 No, no. 240 00:04:54,856 --> 00:04:56,688 I can get it. 241 00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:58,519 Here. 242 00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:58,519 Okay. 243 00:05:01,391 --> 00:05:02,515 Unh! 244 00:05:01,391 --> 00:05:02,515 Aah! 245 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,175 Oh! Oh, my God. 246 00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:10,757 Relax, I'm okay. 247 00:05:10,757 --> 00:05:13,587 No. Isn't this the tub 248 00:05:10,757 --> 00:05:13,587 from the Lil Wayne video? 249 00:05:13,587 --> 00:05:15,210 Huh. 250 00:05:13,587 --> 00:05:15,210 Huh! 251 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:17,917 I put our clothes 252 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:17,917 in the dryer. 253 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,706 I made 254 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,706 an executive decision ... 255 00:05:19,706 --> 00:05:21,871 went with the Irish mountain 256 00:05:19,706 --> 00:05:21,871 dryer sheets. 257 00:05:21,871 --> 00:05:23,702 What does an Irish mountain 258 00:05:21,871 --> 00:05:23,702 smell like? 259 00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,741 We'll find out in 260 00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,741 30, 35 minutes. 261 00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:29,446 Hey, uh, don't tell my dad 262 00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:29,446 I was here, okay? 263 00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:31,944 I suppose I could do you 264 00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:31,944 that wee favor. 265 00:05:31,944 --> 00:05:33,359 Do me 266 00:05:31,944 --> 00:05:33,359 a second favor... 267 00:05:33,359 --> 00:05:34,858 Yeah, 268 00:05:33,359 --> 00:05:34,858 I don't love it, either. 269 00:05:34,858 --> 00:05:35,857 Mm. 270 00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:37,522 Hey, why were you 271 00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:38,896 taking a bath over here, 272 00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:38,896 anyway? 273 00:05:38,896 --> 00:05:41,019 Oh, I just wanted a few hours 274 00:05:38,896 --> 00:05:41,019 to myself. 275 00:05:41,019 --> 00:05:43,017 You know, I live in 276 00:05:41,019 --> 00:05:43,017 my parents' basement, 277 00:05:41,019 --> 00:05:43,017 I broke up with Dylan, 278 00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,514 I was depressed about 279 00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,514 how much I ate at 280 00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,514 Thanksgiving... 281 00:05:45,514 --> 00:05:47,262 You broke up with Dylan, 282 00:05:45,514 --> 00:05:47,262 huh? 283 00:05:47,262 --> 00:05:48,552 Yeah. 284 00:05:47,262 --> 00:05:48,552 Actually, it was the day 285 00:05:48,552 --> 00:05:50,175 that we saw you and Beth 286 00:05:48,552 --> 00:05:50,175 at that movie. 287 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,758 You guys seemed 288 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,758 so great together 289 00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:53,506 I guess I just thought, 290 00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:53,506 "I want that." 291 00:05:53,506 --> 00:05:54,630 I am pretty lucky. 292 00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:56,044 But for 293 00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:56,044 what it's worth, 294 00:05:56,044 --> 00:05:57,377 Beth and I 295 00:05:56,044 --> 00:05:57,377 are not perfect. 296 00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:59,125 Things come up 297 00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:59,125 when you plan a wedding. 298 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,706 Really? There's such a thing 299 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,706 as Mormon drama? 300 00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:03,371 There was 301 00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:03,371 when Beth's uncle Found out 302 00:06:03,371 --> 00:06:05,535 we're serving coffee 303 00:06:03,371 --> 00:06:05,535 at the reception. 304 00:06:05,535 --> 00:06:07,200 Plus, she doesn't want me 305 00:06:05,535 --> 00:06:07,200 to have a bachelor party. 306 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,907 At all? 307 00:06:08,907 --> 00:06:10,364 It is one night 308 00:06:08,907 --> 00:06:10,364 before the rest of your life. 309 00:06:10,364 --> 00:06:13,111 You should do it up. 310 00:06:10,364 --> 00:06:13,111 That's what I said. 311 00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,192 Well, to my mirror, 312 00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,192 but you're right. 313 00:06:15,192 --> 00:06:17,857 I deserve one adventure 314 00:06:15,192 --> 00:06:17,857 before I settle down. 315 00:06:18,939 --> 00:06:21,686 Oh! Look what you did. 316 00:06:18,939 --> 00:06:21,686 Here. 317 00:06:21,686 --> 00:06:23,392 Well, yeah, I mean, 318 00:06:21,686 --> 00:06:23,392 you got to do something fun. 319 00:06:26,764 --> 00:06:29,345 Um... maybe 320 00:06:26,764 --> 00:06:29,345 you try and fix it. 321 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,176 Yeah. 322 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,176 It should be simple enough. 323 00:06:31,176 --> 00:06:32,383 O... kay... 324 00:06:32,383 --> 00:06:34,715 I did not mean 325 00:06:32,383 --> 00:06:34,715 to do that. 326 00:06:34,715 --> 00:06:37,212 Um, maybe try this one? 327 00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:41,374 Huh. 328 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,038 Maybe we shouldn't touch 329 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,038 any more buttons. 330 00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:44,913 Right. 331 00:06:46,369 --> 00:06:49,116 Uh... what were 332 00:06:46,369 --> 00:06:49,116 we talking about? 333 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,573 Having an adventure. 334 00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:57,733 Oh, God, 335 00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:57,733 is that my dad? 336 00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,856 'Tis a fine kettle 337 00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,856 of fish we're in! 338 00:06:59,856 --> 00:07:01,521 Get in the laundry room! 339 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:04,185 And sad news from the zoo, 340 00:07:04,185 --> 00:07:05,684 Chuffa the panda 341 00:07:04,185 --> 00:07:05,684 has suffered a m... 342 00:07:05,684 --> 00:07:06,683 Stop touching stuff! 343 00:07:11,511 --> 00:07:13,342 Wow, you're not shy 344 00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:14,758 with those hugs today, 345 00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:14,758 are you? 346 00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:14,758 I don't know what it is, 347 00:07:14,758 --> 00:07:16,339 but I get so emotional 348 00:07:14,758 --> 00:07:16,339 around the holidays. 349 00:07:16,339 --> 00:07:19,295 Aww. 350 00:07:16,339 --> 00:07:19,295 Oh, I get it. 351 00:07:16,339 --> 00:07:19,295 I really do. 352 00:07:19,295 --> 00:07:21,084 I love you. 353 00:07:19,295 --> 00:07:21,084 I love you. 354 00:07:21,084 --> 00:07:22,250 Aww. 355 00:07:21,084 --> 00:07:22,250 Gloria. 356 00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,707 So, this year, 357 00:07:23,707 --> 00:07:26,038 we're surprising the family 358 00:07:23,707 --> 00:07:26,038 with a trip to Miami. 359 00:07:26,038 --> 00:07:28,702 The travel company needs 360 00:07:26,038 --> 00:07:28,702 everybody's driver's license 361 00:07:28,702 --> 00:07:29,868 to book the flight. 362 00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:31,533 That's where 363 00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:31,533 "sticky fingers" here 364 00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:32,532 comes in handy. 365 00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:34,030 Everybody has 366 00:07:32,532 --> 00:07:34,030 a bad cousin 367 00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:35,695 that teaches you 368 00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:35,695 a few things. 369 00:07:35,695 --> 00:07:38,359 Like how to smoke, 370 00:07:35,695 --> 00:07:38,359 how to pick-pocket, 371 00:07:38,359 --> 00:07:39,858 how to hot-wire a car, 372 00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:41,689 how to put tacks on your shoe 373 00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:44,520 when you want to throw off 374 00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:44,520 a-a lie-detector test. 375 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,684 Which cousin was this? 376 00:07:46,684 --> 00:07:49,223 I am the cousin. 377 00:07:49,223 --> 00:07:50,389 Bye. 378 00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,843 Phil, honey, 379 00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,843 remember those gutter covers 380 00:07:54,843 --> 00:07:56,923 that we ordered 381 00:07:54,843 --> 00:07:56,923 like a year ago? 382 00:07:56,923 --> 00:07:57,922 Good news. 383 00:07:57,922 --> 00:07:59,046 They shipped! 384 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,294 Wow. 385 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,294 That's exciting. 386 00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:02,585 Please kill me 387 00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:04,041 if I ever find gutter covers 388 00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:04,041 exciting. 389 00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:05,624 I know. 390 00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:05,624 That marriage is staler 391 00:08:05,624 --> 00:08:07,747 than a box of cupcakes 392 00:08:05,624 --> 00:08:07,747 at a supermodel retreat. 393 00:08:07,747 --> 00:08:09,370 Oh, ay, Phil! 394 00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:11,868 Thank you again 395 00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:11,868 for coming! 396 00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:11,868 Oh! 397 00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,866 It was our pleasure. 398 00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,866 You're always so... 399 00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:15,739 generous to have us! 400 00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:18,027 Ay, I'm sorry. 401 00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:18,027 I didn't wanted 402 00:08:15,739 --> 00:08:18,027 to tickle you. 403 00:08:18,027 --> 00:08:21,358 It's just that I love 404 00:08:18,027 --> 00:08:21,358 how this fabric feel. 405 00:08:21,358 --> 00:08:23,356 Oh... 406 00:08:21,358 --> 00:08:23,356 What is the name of 407 00:08:21,358 --> 00:08:23,356 this material? 408 00:08:23,356 --> 00:08:25,020 Uh... jeans. 409 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,769 Oh, and they feel 410 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,769 so tight, huh? 411 00:08:26,769 --> 00:08:28,184 Oh, a little 412 00:08:26,769 --> 00:08:28,184 holiday trick. 413 00:08:28,184 --> 00:08:29,391 Keeps me from 414 00:08:28,184 --> 00:08:29,391 eating too much. 415 00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:32,013 I think 416 00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:32,013 you're too tense. 417 00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:32,013 Oh... 418 00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:32,929 Oh, what the hell 419 00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:32,929 is going ... 420 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,345 Hey, hon. 421 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,345 Yeah? 422 00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:36,051 Hi. 423 00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:36,051 We didn't get 424 00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:36,051 much of a chance 425 00:08:36,051 --> 00:08:37,217 to talk today. 426 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:40,589 Um... how are you? 427 00:08:40,589 --> 00:08:42,712 Not great. But, honestly, 428 00:08:40,589 --> 00:08:42,712 I don't want to bore you. 429 00:08:42,712 --> 00:08:44,793 Oh, well, at least start 430 00:08:42,712 --> 00:08:44,793 the story. 431 00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:46,541 Okay. Um, well, 432 00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:46,541 I got back from Portland, 433 00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:48,539 and Phil was in the bathtub 434 00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:48,539 with all the ducks, 435 00:08:48,539 --> 00:08:50,537 and I just completely 436 00:08:48,539 --> 00:08:50,537 lost it. 437 00:08:50,537 --> 00:08:52,118 And, yes, 438 00:08:50,537 --> 00:08:52,118 I've apologized... 439 00:08:50,537 --> 00:08:52,118 Oh, boy! 440 00:08:52,118 --> 00:08:53,866 But he's really not 441 00:08:52,118 --> 00:08:53,866 letting go of it this time. 442 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,864 I ... 443 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,864 you're so strong! 444 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,864 You know what? 445 00:08:55,864 --> 00:08:57,530 Work's taking up 446 00:08:55,864 --> 00:08:57,530 a lot of your time, 447 00:08:55,864 --> 00:08:57,530 isn't it? 448 00:08:57,530 --> 00:08:59,361 You're taking his side 449 00:08:57,530 --> 00:08:59,361 on this? 450 00:08:59,361 --> 00:09:00,527 I've been you on this. 451 00:09:00,527 --> 00:09:01,693 When I was bogged down 452 00:09:00,527 --> 00:09:01,693 with work, 453 00:09:01,693 --> 00:09:03,274 your mother and I fought 454 00:09:01,693 --> 00:09:03,274 all the time. 455 00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:05,189 I mean, maybe not about ducks. 456 00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:05,189 I'm not a weirdo. 457 00:09:05,189 --> 00:09:08,352 But maybe he's mad at you 458 00:09:05,189 --> 00:09:08,352 because you're not around. 459 00:09:08,352 --> 00:09:09,850 But I only took 460 00:09:08,352 --> 00:09:09,850 like two trips. 461 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,683 Just 'cause you're around 462 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,683 doesn't mean you're around. 463 00:09:11,683 --> 00:09:14,096 That's one of those 464 00:09:11,683 --> 00:09:14,096 loopy things mom would say. 465 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,719 I used to pretend that 466 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,719 I didn't understand it, too, 467 00:09:16,719 --> 00:09:18,176 but I did. 468 00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:19,508 Why not just make some time 469 00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:19,508 for each other? 470 00:09:19,508 --> 00:09:20,549 Maybe you're right. 471 00:09:20,549 --> 00:09:22,047 Oh... 472 00:09:22,047 --> 00:09:23,379 Maybe I'll take him for 473 00:09:22,047 --> 00:09:23,379 a weekend up north, huh? 474 00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:24,378 What do you think? 475 00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:24,378 Sure. 476 00:09:24,378 --> 00:09:25,710 Yeah. 477 00:09:24,378 --> 00:09:25,710 Or leave him. 478 00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:27,417 You're still attractive. 479 00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:27,417 Worked great for me. 480 00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:37,282 I am still in shock 481 00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:37,282 about the deal we got 482 00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:37,282 on those ice-cube trays. 483 00:09:37,282 --> 00:09:41,194 I know. It's like we pulled off 484 00:09:37,282 --> 00:09:41,194 The Great Tray Robbery. 485 00:09:41,194 --> 00:09:43,192 You know, it says we're 486 00:09:41,194 --> 00:09:43,192 supposed to throw them 487 00:09:41,194 --> 00:09:43,192 in the dishwasher, 488 00:09:43,192 --> 00:09:44,358 but I'm just gonna 489 00:09:43,192 --> 00:09:44,358 give them a rinse. 490 00:09:44,358 --> 00:09:46,523 Oh, you are so bad! 491 00:09:46,523 --> 00:09:48,936 You know, since we got 492 00:09:46,523 --> 00:09:48,936 all of our errands done early 493 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:51,393 and we do have a little 494 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:51,393 extra time on our hands... 495 00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:53,516 And Lily's at a sleepover. 496 00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:53,516 Mm-hmm. 497 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,679 Oh! Just ... right there. 498 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,679 A little to the right. 499 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:57,762 Yep. 500 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:57,762 Right there. 501 00:09:57,762 --> 00:09:58,719 Right ... Yeah. Perfect. 502 00:09:57,762 --> 00:09:58,719 Now turn. 503 00:09:58,719 --> 00:10:00,259 Whew! 504 00:09:58,719 --> 00:10:00,259 Oh! 505 00:10:00,259 --> 00:10:02,090 I have been wanting to flip 506 00:10:00,259 --> 00:10:02,090 that mattress for months. 507 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:03,547 I know. It feels good 508 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:03,547 to get stuff done. 509 00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:05,712 Yeah, it does! 510 00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:05,712 Yes! 511 00:10:05,712 --> 00:10:07,418 Aaah. 512 00:10:05,712 --> 00:10:07,418 So, other than Lily, 513 00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:10,249 we have no real reason 514 00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:10,249 to be alive, right? 515 00:10:10,249 --> 00:10:12,205 Oh, God, 516 00:10:10,249 --> 00:10:12,205 is that my dad? 517 00:10:12,205 --> 00:10:14,536 Get in the laundry room! 518 00:10:14,536 --> 00:10:16,201 And sad news from the zoo, 519 00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:17,866 Chuffa the panda 520 00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:17,866 has suffered a m... 521 00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:19,240 Stop touching stuff! 522 00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:22,570 Huh? 523 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,110 Are you sure we should be 524 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,110 doing this? 525 00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:26,066 Mitchell, we just high-fived 526 00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:26,066 over flipping a mattress. 527 00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:28,272 That's way sadder 528 00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:28,272 than Phil and Claire's 529 00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:28,272 gutter covers. 530 00:10:28,272 --> 00:10:29,895 Plus, Cyril won't care. 531 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:31,686 It's not like he hasn't had 532 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:31,686 his fun in our place. 533 00:10:31,686 --> 00:10:33,559 What? When? 534 00:10:31,686 --> 00:10:33,559 At your birthday party? 535 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,014 He and Gregory were 536 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,014 in the bathroom 537 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,014 for like an hour. 538 00:10:36,014 --> 00:10:38,679 Oh, no. That's 'cause 539 00:10:36,014 --> 00:10:38,679 Gregory lost a contact lens. 540 00:10:36,014 --> 00:10:38,679 Okay, you're adorable. 541 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,510 All right, now, I'm gonna 542 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,510 go make some cocktails, 543 00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,175 and then when 544 00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,175 that sun goes down... 545 00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:42,175 Mm-hmm. 546 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,881 You and I can get cozy 547 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,881 in the hot tub, okay? 548 00:10:43,881 --> 00:10:45,672 Ooh, I like the sound 549 00:10:43,881 --> 00:10:45,672 of that. 550 00:10:45,672 --> 00:10:47,253 I'm gonna put on 551 00:10:45,672 --> 00:10:47,253 some mood music, huh? 552 00:10:47,253 --> 00:10:48,711 Hey, Cam, 553 00:10:47,253 --> 00:10:48,711 don't they have a remote 554 00:10:48,711 --> 00:10:50,417 that controls everything? 555 00:10:48,711 --> 00:10:50,417 Yeah, I think so. 556 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,873 You know 557 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,873 where he keeps that? 558 00:10:51,873 --> 00:10:54,038 Well, ours is always getting 559 00:10:51,873 --> 00:10:54,038 buried in the couch. 560 00:10:54,038 --> 00:10:55,579 Oh, here it is. 561 00:10:55,579 --> 00:10:56,910 Ahh. 562 00:10:56,910 --> 00:10:59,533 Ooh, I like this song. 563 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,780 Would you like a show 564 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,780 to go with it? 565 00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:04,070 Mitchell! 566 00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:04,070 Who's Mitchell? 567 00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:05,776 I'm Magic Mitch. 568 00:11:05,776 --> 00:11:07,067 Welder by day... 569 00:11:07,857 --> 00:11:09,190 Stripper by choice. 570 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,354 My unwed sister 571 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,354 is seven months pregnant. 572 00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,061 My mother 573 00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,061 has some uterine issues 574 00:11:13,061 --> 00:11:14,435 not covered by Medicare. 575 00:11:14,435 --> 00:11:16,391 But if you want 576 00:11:14,435 --> 00:11:16,391 to make it rain, I will ... 577 00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:19,055 Mitchell! 578 00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:19,055 Sweetie, are you okay? 579 00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:19,055 Yeah, I'm fine. 580 00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:21,178 How's the lamp? 581 00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:21,178 Is it okay? 582 00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:21,178 Does it work? 583 00:11:21,178 --> 00:11:22,677 It's fine. See? 584 00:11:21,178 --> 00:11:22,677 Okay. 585 00:11:22,677 --> 00:11:24,715 All right, now, come on. 586 00:11:22,677 --> 00:11:24,715 Let's get back on track. 587 00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:26,713 Yes. 588 00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:26,713 I'll go get 589 00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:26,713 the cocktails. 590 00:11:26,713 --> 00:11:28,753 You make yourself 591 00:11:26,713 --> 00:11:28,753 comfortable. 592 00:11:28,753 --> 00:11:30,876 I sure will. 593 00:11:32,042 --> 00:11:33,041 Wow. 594 00:11:33,873 --> 00:11:35,580 Maybe something 595 00:11:33,873 --> 00:11:35,580 a little more lively? 596 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:38,036 Uh-huh. 597 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:38,036 It's not "Adam and Steve," 598 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:38,036 damn it. 599 00:11:38,036 --> 00:11:40,284 Corpses 600 00:11:38,036 --> 00:11:40,284 as far as the eye can see. 601 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,865 What you don't know about 602 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,865 your ice-cube tray 603 00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:42,864 could kill you. 604 00:11:42,864 --> 00:11:44,405 Maybe the first station. 605 00:11:44,405 --> 00:11:45,612 Oh, what's happening? 606 00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:46,735 Oh! 607 00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:46,735 Oh! Ooh! 608 00:11:46,735 --> 00:11:48,941 Geez. 609 00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,439 Don't worry 610 00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,439 about Claire. 611 00:11:51,439 --> 00:11:54,020 You've got me 612 00:11:51,439 --> 00:11:54,020 all afternoon. 613 00:12:02,927 --> 00:12:04,385 Honey, 614 00:12:02,927 --> 00:12:04,385 remember those gutter covers 615 00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:05,758 that we ordered 616 00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:05,758 like a year ago? 617 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:06,882 Good news. 618 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:06,882 They shipped! 619 00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:09,255 Wow. 620 00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:09,255 That's exciting. 621 00:12:09,255 --> 00:12:11,710 Claire's been 622 00:12:09,255 --> 00:12:11,710 working a lot lately, 623 00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:14,291 and it's been... great. 624 00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:17,122 It's given me a lot more time 625 00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:17,122 for "Battle Beasts of Gar," 626 00:12:17,122 --> 00:12:19,036 this massive 627 00:12:17,122 --> 00:12:19,036 online role-playing game. 628 00:12:19,036 --> 00:12:21,284 And with Cyril's 629 00:12:19,036 --> 00:12:21,284 state-of-the-art gaming system, 630 00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:24,031 I've been able to take my 631 00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:24,031 half-dwarf, half-ox fire mage ... 632 00:12:24,031 --> 00:12:25,614 PyroMiniYak ... 633 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,237 to a whole new level. 634 00:12:27,237 --> 00:12:28,735 Level three! 635 00:12:28,735 --> 00:12:30,567 Our guild, Thugsquad, 636 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:33,688 has been trying to plan a raid 637 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:33,688 against our arch-rival guild, 638 00:12:33,688 --> 00:12:35,728 led by the ruthless SexyBeast, 639 00:12:35,728 --> 00:12:38,017 and I got a text saying 640 00:12:35,728 --> 00:12:38,017 it was finally happening. 641 00:12:38,017 --> 00:12:39,516 That is, 642 00:12:38,017 --> 00:12:39,516 if I could get Claire 643 00:12:39,516 --> 00:12:41,680 to be okay with me disappearing 644 00:12:39,516 --> 00:12:41,680 for a few hours. 645 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,885 Phil, honey, 646 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,885 I want to apologize. 647 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,885 For what? 648 00:12:44,885 --> 00:12:46,551 You haven't ... 649 00:12:44,885 --> 00:12:46,551 Been around at all. 650 00:12:44,885 --> 00:12:46,551 I know. 651 00:12:46,551 --> 00:12:48,007 I know, and I want 652 00:12:46,551 --> 00:12:48,007 to make it up to you. 653 00:12:48,007 --> 00:12:50,005 It was very hurtful. 654 00:12:48,007 --> 00:12:50,005 Yeah. 655 00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:52,587 It's just sometimes 656 00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:52,587 I get so caught up in work 657 00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:55,250 that even when I am around, 658 00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:55,250 I'm not around. 659 00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,707 Mm. So well put. 660 00:12:56,707 --> 00:12:58,122 I don't want to beat you up 661 00:12:56,707 --> 00:12:58,122 about that. 662 00:12:58,122 --> 00:12:59,246 It's healing time now. 663 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,869 You know, what I'd love 664 00:13:00,869 --> 00:13:02,535 is a few hours at Cyril's house 665 00:13:00,869 --> 00:13:02,535 this afternoon. 666 00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:03,451 With me? 667 00:13:03,451 --> 00:13:04,740 Actually... 668 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,697 I was thinking 669 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,697 about that 670 00:13:06,697 --> 00:13:08,778 role-playing thing 671 00:13:06,697 --> 00:13:08,778 I'm into? 672 00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:11,193 Phil and I have, 673 00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:11,193 on occasion, 674 00:13:11,193 --> 00:13:15,105 adopted various alter-egos 675 00:13:11,193 --> 00:13:15,105 to spice up our marriage. 676 00:13:15,105 --> 00:13:16,396 Cyril's house does sound 677 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,227 kind of perfect 678 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,227 for some romance. 679 00:13:18,227 --> 00:13:20,766 And I like that Phil wants 680 00:13:18,227 --> 00:13:20,766 to move past this, so... 681 00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:23,097 Did you have 682 00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:23,097 a particular genre in mind 683 00:13:23,097 --> 00:13:24,595 for this afternoon's game? 684 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,053 Yes. Medieval fantasy. 685 00:13:26,053 --> 00:13:28,551 Ah. Great. 686 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,548 Thank you. 687 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,548 Mm. 688 00:13:31,548 --> 00:13:35,709 Oh, SexyBeast, 689 00:13:31,548 --> 00:13:35,709 you are gonna get so spanked. 690 00:13:37,707 --> 00:13:39,206 Refrigerator. 691 00:13:39,206 --> 00:13:41,121 No, say "fridger-frater." 692 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,869 But it's refrigerator. 693 00:13:42,869 --> 00:13:44,368 I need you to focus, kid. 694 00:13:44,368 --> 00:13:47,198 Fridger-frater ... 695 00:13:44,368 --> 00:13:47,198 Where we keep the sammiches. 696 00:13:47,198 --> 00:13:49,779 People seem delighted by Joe. 697 00:13:47,198 --> 00:13:49,779 Whatever. 698 00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:51,860 But I had that fetching 699 00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:51,860 study partner coming over, 700 00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:54,565 and I realized I could use 701 00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:54,565 Joe's by-the-numbers cuteness 702 00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:56,605 to my amorous advantage. 703 00:13:56,605 --> 00:13:57,854 Wow. 704 00:13:57,854 --> 00:13:59,395 Even for me, 705 00:13:57,854 --> 00:13:59,395 that was a lot of Manny. 706 00:13:59,395 --> 00:14:01,226 But it's sandwich. 707 00:14:01,226 --> 00:14:02,766 It's like 708 00:14:01,226 --> 00:14:02,766 you're not even trying. 709 00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:05,180 Okay, that's probably her. 710 00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:07,512 L-look, just be cute, okay? 711 00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:07,512 For my sake. 712 00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:09,842 It's like when guys use puppies 713 00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:09,842 to attract girls. 714 00:14:11,174 --> 00:14:13,713 Hi, Manny. 715 00:14:11,174 --> 00:14:13,713 Uh, Olive. 716 00:14:11,174 --> 00:14:13,713 Please come in. 717 00:14:13,713 --> 00:14:15,212 That's my little brother, 718 00:14:13,713 --> 00:14:15,212 Joe. 719 00:14:15,212 --> 00:14:16,710 Don't mind 720 00:14:15,212 --> 00:14:16,710 his little pot there. 721 00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:17,876 Hey, what do you have in there 722 00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:17,876 again? 723 00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:19,250 Some kind of pasta dish? 724 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,706 Woof, woof! 725 00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:22,372 Aww! 726 00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:22,372 Are you a doggie? 727 00:14:22,372 --> 00:14:24,286 Yeah, he's always doing 728 00:14:22,372 --> 00:14:24,286 adorable stuff like that 729 00:14:24,286 --> 00:14:25,369 'cause I'm his hero. 730 00:14:25,369 --> 00:14:27,033 I love that. 731 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,406 Are you a good doggie 732 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,406 or a bad doggie? 733 00:14:29,406 --> 00:14:30,529 Grrr! 734 00:14:30,529 --> 00:14:32,736 Oh, scary! 735 00:14:32,736 --> 00:14:34,360 Adorable. 736 00:14:32,736 --> 00:14:34,360 I know. 737 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,566 Uh, so should we head up? 738 00:14:35,566 --> 00:14:37,522 Oh, my God! 739 00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:39,063 Get it off me! 740 00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:39,063 Uh... no! 741 00:14:39,063 --> 00:14:40,229 Joe! Joe! 742 00:14:40,229 --> 00:14:42,018 Joe, let go! 743 00:14:40,229 --> 00:14:42,018 What are you doing? 744 00:14:42,018 --> 00:14:43,184 He's biting me! 745 00:14:42,018 --> 00:14:43,184 Do something! 746 00:14:43,184 --> 00:14:45,265 Uh... 747 00:14:43,184 --> 00:14:45,265 Grr! 748 00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:47,679 No! Bad Joe! 749 00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:47,679 Bad Joe! 750 00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:47,679 Ow! That's just making him 751 00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:47,679 bite me harder! 752 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,927 A person is not 753 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,927 a sammich, Joe! 754 00:14:49,927 --> 00:14:51,550 Joe, 755 00:14:49,927 --> 00:14:51,550 what are you doing? 756 00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,382 Joe, let go! 757 00:14:53,506 --> 00:14:55,879 Did you know 758 00:14:53,506 --> 00:14:55,879 Phil was gonna be here? 759 00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:57,544 No. I-I wear a t-shirt 760 00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:57,544 in the pool. 761 00:14:57,544 --> 00:14:59,126 Do you think I want him 762 00:14:57,544 --> 00:14:59,126 to see me in the middle of this? 763 00:14:59,126 --> 00:15:00,209 Go. Go. 764 00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,914 (keypad beeping, 765 00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,914 door buzzes) 766 00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,036 Well, we only have 767 00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,036 one six-pack 768 00:15:06,036 --> 00:15:09,075 so, in a way, 769 00:15:06,036 --> 00:15:09,075 it's good all the girls said no. 770 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,280 Aah! 771 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,280 What are you 772 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,280 doing here? 773 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,028 Oh, um, 774 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,028 my S.A.T. prep group 775 00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:15,901 needed a quiet place 776 00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:15,901 to study. 777 00:15:15,901 --> 00:15:17,025 You ain't studying 778 00:15:15,901 --> 00:15:17,025 acting. 779 00:15:17,025 --> 00:15:18,523 Okay. We don't have time 780 00:15:17,025 --> 00:15:18,523 for this. 781 00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:20,397 Your father ... 782 00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:20,397 Everybody freeze! 783 00:15:20,771 --> 00:15:22,228 Tae Kwon Joe! 784 00:15:22,228 --> 00:15:24,892 Eyes on those blood bats! 785 00:15:22,228 --> 00:15:24,892 Let's burn 'em down fast! 786 00:15:24,892 --> 00:15:27,514 Come on, madskillz87! 787 00:15:27,514 --> 00:15:29,512 You're supposed to be on 788 00:15:27,514 --> 00:15:29,512 spell interrupt! 789 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:32,509 Do not let those casters 790 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:32,509 get off any more frost traps! 791 00:15:34,008 --> 00:15:36,588 Lisa, looks like it's you and me 792 00:15:34,008 --> 00:15:36,588 on the lava demon. 793 00:15:36,588 --> 00:15:37,962 Hang tight! 794 00:15:39,211 --> 00:15:40,210 Powder! 795 00:15:43,207 --> 00:15:45,788 Let's send them back to hell 796 00:15:43,207 --> 00:15:45,788 in time for Madskillz 797 00:15:45,788 --> 00:15:47,536 to make it 798 00:15:45,788 --> 00:15:47,536 to his oboe lesson! 799 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,907 And I thought my dad 800 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,907 was embarrassing. 801 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,907 Shut up. 802 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,446 Okay, let's go. 803 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,446 Let's go. 804 00:15:57,277 --> 00:16:00,773 Hello? 805 00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:02,521 Is anybody here? 806 00:16:02,521 --> 00:16:03,895 Drop it! 807 00:16:02,521 --> 00:16:03,895 Oh! 808 00:16:03,895 --> 00:16:05,684 Ohh, 809 00:16:03,895 --> 00:16:05,684 gettin' right to it. 810 00:16:05,684 --> 00:16:07,557 I like it. 811 00:16:07,557 --> 00:16:10,763 Please, sir, have pity. 812 00:16:10,763 --> 00:16:12,844 'Tis true 813 00:16:10,763 --> 00:16:12,844 I'm just a common thief, 814 00:16:12,844 --> 00:16:14,260 but if you have mercy, 815 00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,715 I'll make it 816 00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,715 worth your while ... 817 00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,715 Oh, yes. 818 00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:18,546 Ohhh-ho! 819 00:16:18,546 --> 00:16:22,252 What medieval creature 820 00:16:18,546 --> 00:16:22,252 is this? 821 00:16:22,252 --> 00:16:25,956 Half-man, half-robot... 822 00:16:22,252 --> 00:16:25,956 Welder? 823 00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:28,453 If you come out now, 824 00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:28,453 you simpering coward, 825 00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:30,369 maybe I'll show you 826 00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:30,369 a little mercy. 827 00:16:30,369 --> 00:16:32,532 Please don't hurt me! 828 00:16:30,369 --> 00:16:32,532 It was her idea! 829 00:16:32,532 --> 00:16:34,031 I'm the one who wanted 830 00:16:32,532 --> 00:16:34,031 to go slow! 831 00:16:34,031 --> 00:16:35,946 Reuben? 832 00:16:34,031 --> 00:16:35,946 Oh, Alex! 833 00:16:35,946 --> 00:16:38,111 Claire? 834 00:16:35,946 --> 00:16:38,111 Reuben again? 835 00:16:38,111 --> 00:16:39,400 He wore a Batman cape 836 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,398 to the first day 837 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,398 of high school! 838 00:16:41,398 --> 00:16:43,189 You're really judging me 839 00:16:41,398 --> 00:16:43,189 right now 840 00:16:43,189 --> 00:16:45,561 when you look like 841 00:16:43,189 --> 00:16:45,561 a hooker at Comic-con? 842 00:16:45,561 --> 00:16:47,185 Yes, this was a miscalculation 843 00:16:45,561 --> 00:16:47,185 on my part, 844 00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,350 and I will be 845 00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,350 getting my coat... 846 00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,350 Claire, 847 00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:51,513 what is going on? 848 00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:51,513 and getting out of here 849 00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:51,513 as soon as I ... 850 00:16:51,513 --> 00:16:52,596 Luke? 851 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:54,719 Is that beer 852 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:54,719 behind your back? 853 00:16:54,719 --> 00:16:57,882 Get out here! 854 00:16:54,719 --> 00:16:57,882 You are so grounded! 855 00:16:57,882 --> 00:16:59,547 Mrs. Dunphy, 856 00:16:57,882 --> 00:16:59,547 do you ever tutor? 857 00:16:59,547 --> 00:17:01,046 Dude! 858 00:16:59,547 --> 00:17:01,046 Ugh. 859 00:17:01,046 --> 00:17:04,750 I'm just gonna grab my 860 00:17:01,046 --> 00:17:04,750 razor scooter and bounce. 861 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,208 Happy birth... 862 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,208 Happy birth... 863 00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:08,538 No, you know 864 00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:08,538 it's no one's birthday. 865 00:17:08,538 --> 00:17:10,703 You're probably here 866 00:17:08,538 --> 00:17:10,703 for the same reason 867 00:17:08,538 --> 00:17:10,703 as those two. 868 00:17:10,703 --> 00:17:11,868 Well, technically, 869 00:17:10,703 --> 00:17:11,868 this is your fault, 870 00:17:11,868 --> 00:17:13,117 because we were afraid 871 00:17:11,868 --> 00:17:13,117 our marriage 872 00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:14,283 was getting 873 00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:14,283 as boring as yours. 874 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,531 Though based on 875 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,531 her outfit, 876 00:17:15,531 --> 00:17:16,863 we need to work 877 00:17:15,531 --> 00:17:16,863 a little harder. 878 00:17:16,863 --> 00:17:18,570 You should all be 879 00:17:16,863 --> 00:17:18,570 ashamed of yourselves. 880 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,277 I'm the only one 881 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,277 authorized to be here. 882 00:17:20,277 --> 00:17:22,357 By sneaking in, 883 00:17:20,277 --> 00:17:22,357 you've disrespected me, 884 00:17:22,357 --> 00:17:24,730 and violated the trust 885 00:17:22,357 --> 00:17:24,730 between me, my clients, 886 00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:26,687 and this sexy, sexy house. 887 00:17:26,687 --> 00:17:28,435 No. No! 888 00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:30,516 Great. 889 00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:30,516 Now Lisa's dead. 890 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:33,056 I want everybody out of here 891 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:33,056 right now! 892 00:17:33,056 --> 00:17:35,179 Well, at least we have our house 893 00:17:33,056 --> 00:17:35,179 to ourselves still. 894 00:17:33,056 --> 00:17:35,179 Mm. 895 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,052 Does Magic Mitch 896 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,052 have another set him in? 897 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,052 Yeah. 898 00:17:37,052 --> 00:17:39,008 His grandma's built-up shoe 899 00:17:37,052 --> 00:17:39,008 isn't gonna pay for itself. 900 00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:40,881 Okay, we need to work on 901 00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:40,881 your sexy patter. 902 00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:40,881 Unh! 903 00:17:40,881 --> 00:17:42,213 Off the lamp. 904 00:17:40,881 --> 00:17:42,213 Off the lamp. 905 00:17:44,544 --> 00:17:46,375 Okay, before you get 906 00:17:44,544 --> 00:17:46,375 any stupid ideas, 907 00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:47,624 Reuben and I broke in here 908 00:17:47,624 --> 00:17:49,206 so I could help him 909 00:17:47,624 --> 00:17:49,206 with his math. 910 00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:51,121 Heh. Good luck getting through 911 00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:51,121 to that guy. 912 00:17:51,121 --> 00:17:53,368 He's clueless. 913 00:17:54,534 --> 00:17:55,616 Honey. 914 00:17:54,534 --> 00:17:55,616 Yes? 915 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,698 Um... I'm sorry. 916 00:17:56,698 --> 00:17:58,114 That ... 917 00:17:56,698 --> 00:17:58,114 that little outburst 918 00:17:58,114 --> 00:18:01,610 was mainly directed 919 00:17:58,114 --> 00:18:01,610 at them. 920 00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:03,775 Whatever misunderstanding 921 00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:03,775 led to this, 922 00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:05,274 I'm... happy about. 923 00:18:05,274 --> 00:18:06,730 Oh! Oh! 924 00:18:05,274 --> 00:18:06,730 I thought you were upset 925 00:18:06,730 --> 00:18:08,353 because we hadn't spent 926 00:18:06,730 --> 00:18:08,353 any time together. 927 00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:11,268 And then you said you wanted 928 00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:11,268 some role-playing fun... 929 00:18:11,268 --> 00:18:12,849 Oh. 930 00:18:12,849 --> 00:18:14,347 Really? 931 00:18:14,347 --> 00:18:16,720 Honey, I know you've been 932 00:18:14,347 --> 00:18:16,720 working really hard lately, 933 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,885 and I-I appreciate any time 934 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,885 I can get with you. 935 00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:21,216 So you're not mad at me? 936 00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:21,216 Silence, elvin harlot. 937 00:18:21,216 --> 00:18:23,172 Ohh, sorry, my lord. 938 00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:24,754 Didn't mean to offend. 939 00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:26,293 But you have, 940 00:18:24,754 --> 00:18:26,293 craven wench. 941 00:18:26,293 --> 00:18:27,626 Mm. 942 00:18:27,626 --> 00:18:29,624 And I shall 943 00:18:27,626 --> 00:18:29,624 mete out punishment as ... 944 00:18:29,624 --> 00:18:31,372 I can hear you guys 945 00:18:29,624 --> 00:18:31,372 giggling. 946 00:18:31,372 --> 00:18:33,453 At least 947 00:18:31,372 --> 00:18:33,453 I have a girlfriend! 948 00:18:39,447 --> 00:18:41,238 All clear. 949 00:18:41,238 --> 00:18:42,944 Well, that was crazy. 950 00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:44,942 My ticker hasn't gotten 951 00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:44,942 a workout that good 952 00:18:44,942 --> 00:18:47,522 since I made the finals of 953 00:18:44,942 --> 00:18:47,522 that cup-stacking competition. 954 00:18:47,522 --> 00:18:49,895 Hey, should I take these robes 955 00:18:47,522 --> 00:18:49,895 upstairs? 956 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:51,393 I'm gonna pop mine 957 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:51,393 in the washer. 958 00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,516 I've got about three pounds 959 00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,516 of tension sweat in here. 960 00:18:56,181 --> 00:18:57,554 Hey... 961 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:58,886 I, uh... 962 00:19:00,676 --> 00:19:03,381 I feel kind of bad 963 00:19:00,676 --> 00:19:03,381 about before. 964 00:19:03,381 --> 00:19:05,504 Don't. 965 00:19:03,381 --> 00:19:05,504 We didn't do anything. 966 00:19:05,504 --> 00:19:08,211 I know. It just felt like 967 00:19:05,504 --> 00:19:08,211 something could've... 968 00:19:08,211 --> 00:19:10,291 If everybody hadn't... 969 00:19:08,211 --> 00:19:10,291 Yeah. 970 00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,454 You know what it is. 971 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:16,910 It's the house. 972 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:16,910 It's the house! 973 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:20,239 I mean, the fireplace, 974 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:20,239 the music... 975 00:19:20,239 --> 00:19:21,530 The crazy couch-bed. 976 00:19:21,530 --> 00:19:23,403 Anyone could've 977 00:19:21,530 --> 00:19:23,403 gotten swept up. 978 00:19:23,403 --> 00:19:24,777 Anyone. 979 00:19:23,403 --> 00:19:24,777 Anyone. Yeah. 980 00:19:24,777 --> 00:19:26,026 Heh. 981 00:19:24,777 --> 00:19:26,026 Anyone. 982 00:19:27,108 --> 00:19:28,731 Well, I should get going. 983 00:19:28,731 --> 00:19:30,229 Yeah. Totally. 984 00:19:30,229 --> 00:19:33,351 I mean, 985 00:19:30,229 --> 00:19:33,351 it was a fun afternoon, though. 986 00:19:33,351 --> 00:19:36,723 I wanted one crazy adventure 987 00:19:33,351 --> 00:19:36,723 before I got married, 988 00:19:36,723 --> 00:19:38,721 and I got one. 989 00:19:38,721 --> 00:19:41,385 Good. It was fun. 990 00:19:42,551 --> 00:19:44,674 I'll see you later. 991 00:19:44,674 --> 00:19:45,839 Yep. 992 00:20:09,565 --> 00:20:11,397 What's Joe doing 993 00:20:09,565 --> 00:20:11,397 in Stella's cage? 994 00:20:11,397 --> 00:20:12,687 He knows what he did. 995 00:20:12,687 --> 00:20:13,853 Go on, boy! Get! 996 00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:18,848 Jay! 997 00:20:18,848 --> 00:20:20,346 So, I was thinking, 998 00:20:20,346 --> 00:20:23,011 since Miami's only 999 00:20:20,346 --> 00:20:23,011 a few hours away from Colombia, 1000 00:20:23,011 --> 00:20:25,508 why don't we have 1001 00:20:23,011 --> 00:20:25,508 my relatives fly to Miami 1002 00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:27,172 so that the whole family 1003 00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:27,172 can be together? 1004 00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:29,046 Gloria, I love your family. 1005 00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:29,046 I do. 1006 00:20:29,046 --> 00:20:30,753 But ... 1007 00:20:29,046 --> 00:20:30,753 This is so typical. 1008 00:20:30,753 --> 00:20:32,417 We do everything 1009 00:20:30,753 --> 00:20:32,417 for your family, 1010 00:20:32,417 --> 00:20:34,874 but when it comes to 1011 00:20:32,417 --> 00:20:34,874 my side of the family, then ... 1012 00:20:34,874 --> 00:20:36,872 We're not going to Miami. 1013 00:20:34,874 --> 00:20:36,872 What? 1014 00:20:36,872 --> 00:20:39,535 I bought everybody 1015 00:20:36,872 --> 00:20:39,535 plane tickets to Colombia. 1016 00:20:39,535 --> 00:20:41,408 Ay, Jay! 1017 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:45,030 That's not what you were 1018 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:45,030 supposed to do! 1019 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:46,278 I think you mean 1020 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:46,278 "you shouldn't have," 1021 00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:48,526 and you're probably right. 1022 00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:48,526 No! 1023 00:20:48,526 --> 00:20:51,857 I mean you shouldn't have been 1024 00:20:48,526 --> 00:20:51,857 nice about this at all! 1025 00:20:51,857 --> 00:20:54,395 You were supposed to say, 1026 00:20:51,857 --> 00:20:54,395 "Why can't we see your 1027 00:20:51,857 --> 00:20:54,395 family some other time?" 1028 00:20:54,395 --> 00:20:55,894 And I would say, 1029 00:20:54,395 --> 00:20:55,894 "Like when?" 1030 00:20:55,894 --> 00:20:58,059 And then you would say, 1031 00:20:55,894 --> 00:20:58,059 "Is never an option?" 1032 00:20:58,059 --> 00:21:00,223 And I would say, 1033 00:20:58,059 --> 00:21:00,223 "That's so mean, 1034 00:20:58,059 --> 00:21:00,223 Jay Pritchett!" 1035 00:21:00,223 --> 00:21:03,178 And then you would say, 1036 00:21:00,223 --> 00:21:03,178 "Is there a way that I can 1037 00:21:00,223 --> 00:21:03,178 make it up to you, Gloria?" 1038 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:06,093 And then I would say, 1039 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:06,093 "How about if..." 1040 00:21:06,093 --> 00:21:08,340 If what? 1041 00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:09,214 Oh, no. 1042 00:21:10,838 --> 00:21:13,876 Hola! 1043 00:21:10,838 --> 00:21:13,876 Hola! Hola! 1044 00:21:13,876 --> 00:21:16,707 Yeah. Come in, come in. 1045 00:21:18,705 --> 00:21:21,243 Does this feel like 1046 00:21:18,705 --> 00:21:21,243 a short visit to you 1047 00:21:18,705 --> 00:21:21,243 or a long one? 1048 00:21:21,243 --> 00:21:22,701 The pregnant one 1049 00:21:21,243 --> 00:21:22,701 brought a stroller. 1050 00:21:28,071 --> 00:21:30,693 Captions by VITAC :