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Welcome, everyone.

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I'm Dr. Debra Radcliffe.

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And today I'm going to help you

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clean out your junk drawer.

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Of course, I'm talking about

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an emotional junk drawer

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where we store all the pain,

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fear, anger that shapes us.

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Who would like

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to share why they're here?

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This one didn't have her glasses

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at the high-school auction.

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Thought she was bidding on

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a home organizer.

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And what a lucky mistake.

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In Colombia, we never get to do

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things like this.

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The only time

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that I ever went to a seminar

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was how to escape the trunk

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of a car

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when your hands are tied

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behind your back.

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All right, everybody.

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On your feet.

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Okay.

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You know,

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I-I sort of thought

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this was a "sit here and listen"

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kind of a thing.

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Yeah.

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Or as I call it,

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marriage.

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Where's my husbands at?

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It's good to laugh at what

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makes us most uncomfortable.

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But the next three hours will

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require active participation.

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Let's clear a little space

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for ourselves.

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You said this was

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a 45-minute talk.

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So what?

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I was wrong.

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What, is there a place

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that you'd rather be

47
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than connecting

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with your family?

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You're really asking this

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question on football Sunday?

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All these men here gave up

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their football today.

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Thank you, Mitchell,

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for your sacrifice.

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Hey, you know what? I'm missing

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a farmers' market to be here,

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so... yeah,

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I just made it gayer.

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It's perfectly normal

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to resist opening

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your emotional junk drawer.

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Mm.

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I address that in chapter one ...

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"Hey, Get a Handle on It".

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Why don't we start with a fun

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activity to loosen everyone up?

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I don't care how loose we get,

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I'm not spilling my guts

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to some table lamp

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pretending it's my mother.

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And I won't ask you to, Jay.

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That kind of silliness

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gives therapy a bad name.

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We are going to play a game

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called tiger, rock star, bunny.

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I got this.

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Uh, marry the tiger,

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kill the bunny ...

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Mnh-mnh.

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That's not my game.

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When I call out tiger,

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you will

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become a ferocious tiger.

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When I call out rock star,

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you will be...

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a major rocker.

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And when I call

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out bunny, you will be ...

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Halfway home. Goodbye.

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Oh, yeah, go ahead,

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but don't forget

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that we don't have

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a prenup.

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Let's get started.

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Tiger!

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Feel ridiculous.

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I might need booze for this.

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Oh, me likey

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that idea.

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We are not cut out

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for this.

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You can't compare yourself

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to me.

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I was in "cats".

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No one's comparing themselves

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to you, Cam.

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Rock star.

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Looking good, Phil.

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I won an air-guitar contest

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in high school.

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Bet that got you

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a lot of air girlfriends.

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Come on, Jay.

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Loosen up. It's fun.

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What the hell

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is that, Dad?

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Playing an accordion.

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Supposed to be

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a rock star.

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I think you should do, like,

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a guitar or something.

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I only know

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how to play the accordion.

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Pick on Mitchell.

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He's playing a flute.

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At least

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I hope he is.

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So, why did they need you

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out of the house?

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They said it was

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some sort of therapy,

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but part of me thinks

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it's an intervention for mom.

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So, how's school?

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Well, in my

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Newtonian mechanics class,

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we're learning

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how to calculate

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the velocity of free-falling

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objects in a...

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School's hard.

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So, anyways, um...

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I sort of did something,

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and I need your advice,

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but I don't want a lot

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of judgment and criticism.

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And you came to me?

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Yeah, you've always had

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such a strong sense of

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what's right and wrong.

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You always know what ...

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I have a high-school

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boy toy.

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What? Who?

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It's Luke's dorky friend

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Reuben.

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Ugh.

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I feel so ashamed.

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Oh, my God. You should be.

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Isn't he, like, 8?

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No, he's 16 and 3/4,

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and he has to shave

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almost every two weeks.

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How did you let this happen?

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You go to Caltech.

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You're surrounded

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by age-appropriate dorks.

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I know, but I was home

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and still feeling sad

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about Sanjay breaking up

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with me,

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and it's overwhelming here.

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There are

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so many brilliant people,

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and... Reuben idolizes me.

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I guess

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I just kind of needed that,

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so I let him kiss me...

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Oh.

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and a little bit of this.

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I'm so weak.

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I can't imagine anything worse.

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I hooked up with Andy.

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What?

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Mm-hmm.

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Engaged Andy?

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I know.

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We were all alone

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at this house

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that Dad had set up

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to be sexy ...

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Dad made it sexy

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for you?

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No, no, for the buyer,

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but Andy and I were alone,

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a-and suddenly... bam.

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Bam?

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Mm-hmm.

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"Bam" as in sex

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or "bam" as in what Reuben

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shouted when he unhooked my bra?

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Let's just leave it

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at "bam."

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Look at us.

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I don't even know

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what to feel right now.

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Shame, guilt, fear.

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These are just

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some of the things

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we shoved in the back of our

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junk drawers when we were young.

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This exercise

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comes from chapter three ...

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"Scary Dreams,

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Expired Creams".

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Oh, I have

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both of those.

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This may seem

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unconventional,

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but it helps access

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painful memories...

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This is nice.

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While allowing

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your partner

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to see the vulnerable child

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you once were.

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No, it's not.

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It's weird.

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You're so tense today,

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my little baby.

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What are you worried

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about?

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Us looking like idiots.

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What?

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We're superstars here.

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Married the longest,

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three happy children,

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one with

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a bright future.

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You're right.

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We're gonna win

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this thing.

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It's not

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a competition.

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Exactly.

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We have this in the bag.

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Mitchell and Cam

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fall apart

249
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if they've got to pick

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a restaurant,

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and all Gloria ever does

252
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is yell at my dad.

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Shh.

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Yeah, I'd really hate

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to be your dad right now.

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Now, tell me everything

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that you're thinking.

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I'm thinking about all that

259
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:08,646
other stuff we could've bid on

260
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at that auction

261
00:05:08,646 --> 00:05:10,394
instead of this nonsense.

262
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Lunch with Larry King.

263
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A ride-along in a cop car.

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I heard they let you Tase

265
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someone.

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Jay, this is important.

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Dr. Debra said

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that this is good for us.

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Now close your eyes.

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Why should I close

271
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my eyes?

272
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Because I don't like you looking

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up at my neck like that.

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The other day,

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I took a selfie from down there

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and I thought that I was

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FaceTiming with my grandmother.

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I wemember my mom

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went into the store

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and left me all alone

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in the back of a twuck.

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Okay, do you have to do

283
00:05:33,621 --> 00:05:35,203
the baby talk?

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I couldn't pronounce

285
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my r's when I was younger

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and the other children

287
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made fun of me, Mitchell.

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Okay.

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It was very twaumatic.

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Mom? Mommy?

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Where are you?

292
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All right, I'm ...

293
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I'm starting to lose feeling.

294
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Oh, am I squishing

295
00:05:44,194 --> 00:05:45,359
your legs?

296
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No, I meant

297
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in our relationship.

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All right,

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we need a game plan here.

300
00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:50,188
My dad and sister

301
00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:50,188
are here.

302
00:05:50,188 --> 00:05:52,310
Let's keep a low profile ...

303
00:05:50,188 --> 00:05:52,310
light and surfacy.

304
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,892
But aren't we wasting

305
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,892
a great opportunity

306
00:05:53,892 --> 00:05:55,265
to learn more about me?

307
00:05:55,265 --> 00:05:56,973
We are not gonna be

308
00:05:55,265 --> 00:05:56,973
the sideshow gay couple.

309
00:05:56,973 --> 00:05:58,262
Okay,

310
00:05:56,973 --> 00:05:58,262
nothing too personal.

311
00:05:58,262 --> 00:05:59,803
For God's sake,

312
00:05:58,262 --> 00:05:59,803
no bedroom stuff.

313
00:05:59,803 --> 00:06:01,384
We're representing

314
00:05:59,803 --> 00:06:01,384
a community.

315
00:06:01,384 --> 00:06:03,050
And how are you two

316
00:06:01,384 --> 00:06:03,050
doing here?

317
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,381
We're very good,

318
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,381
very healthy.

319
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:05,797
Very happy.

320
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:05,797
Yes.

321
00:06:05,797 --> 00:06:07,670
Cam, would you like

322
00:06:05,797 --> 00:06:07,670
to switch positions?

323
00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:11,209
I'm not allowed

324
00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:11,209
to talk about that.

325
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:13,165
How's it going here

326
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:13,165
with you two?

327
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:15,121
Not good.

328
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:15,121
He's not even trying.

329
00:06:15,121 --> 00:06:16,578
Sounds like you're stuck

330
00:06:15,121 --> 00:06:16,578
in that drawer.

331
00:06:16,578 --> 00:06:18,409
Sounds like you're stuck

332
00:06:16,578 --> 00:06:18,409
in that metaphor.

333
00:06:18,409 --> 00:06:19,616
What's holding you back,

334
00:06:18,409 --> 00:06:19,616
Jay?

335
00:06:19,616 --> 00:06:21,115
I don't like

336
00:06:19,616 --> 00:06:21,115
to be held like this.

337
00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:22,863
Why?

338
00:06:21,115 --> 00:06:22,863
'Cause you feel vulnerable?

339
00:06:22,863 --> 00:06:24,236
I don't know.

340
00:06:24,236 --> 00:06:27,817
It just...

341
00:06:24,236 --> 00:06:27,817
reminds me of something.

342
00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:29,565
Go with that.

343
00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:29,565
You're safe here.

344
00:06:29,565 --> 00:06:31,189
I don't want

345
00:06:29,565 --> 00:06:31,189
to be safe here.

346
00:06:31,189 --> 00:06:32,478
I don't want

347
00:06:31,189 --> 00:06:32,478
to talk about this.

348
00:06:32,478 --> 00:06:34,310
About what?

349
00:06:32,478 --> 00:06:34,310
Tell me.

350
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,141
It's like the time

351
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,141
my mom held me like this

352
00:06:37,141 --> 00:06:39,097
when my dog ran away

353
00:06:37,141 --> 00:06:39,097
and never came back.

354
00:06:39,097 --> 00:06:40,804
She kept telling me

355
00:06:39,097 --> 00:06:40,804
they didn't know how it got out,

356
00:06:40,804 --> 00:06:42,552
but I knew.

357
00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:45,632
I left the gate open.

358
00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:45,632
It was my fault.

359
00:06:45,632 --> 00:06:47,006
I lost Checkers.

360
00:06:45,632 --> 00:06:47,006
Ay!

361
00:06:49,753 --> 00:06:51,834
I can't take this.

362
00:06:51,834 --> 00:06:53,916
Wait, what ...

363
00:06:51,834 --> 00:06:53,916
what just happened?

364
00:06:51,834 --> 00:06:53,916
I don't know.

365
00:06:53,916 --> 00:06:56,204
I think he's not used

366
00:06:53,916 --> 00:06:56,204
to feeling emotions.

367
00:06:56,204 --> 00:06:57,578
Maybe it was

368
00:06:56,204 --> 00:06:57,578
too much for him.

369
00:06:57,578 --> 00:06:58,952
No, no, this is good.

370
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,700
Some people's junk drawers

371
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,700
are so full,

372
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:01,949
it's a struggle

373
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:01,949
to open them.

374
00:07:01,949 --> 00:07:03,822
w-was he holding

375
00:07:01,949 --> 00:07:03,822
his chest?

376
00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:06,154
Sí!

377
00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:06,154
Something seemed wong.

378
00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,858
Jay, are you okay?

379
00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:09,858
It's Gloria.

380
00:07:09,858 --> 00:07:11,898
Dad. Dad, come on.

381
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,729
Ay, it's locked.

382
00:07:13,729 --> 00:07:14,770
D-Dad, open up.

383
00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:16,184
Hang on,

384
00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:16,184
I got a paperclip.

385
00:07:16,184 --> 00:07:17,933
Be careful.

386
00:07:16,184 --> 00:07:17,933
He's very raw.

387
00:07:17,933 --> 00:07:20,347
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

388
00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:23,636
Jay!

389
00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:23,636
Huh? Oh.

390
00:07:23,636 --> 00:07:25,384
I'm still sad.

391
00:07:31,836 --> 00:07:33,085
You prefer

392
00:07:31,836 --> 00:07:33,085
to hide in the bathroom

393
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:34,500
than to deal

394
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:34,500
with your emotions!

395
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,999
Gloria,

396
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,999
what's the big deal?

397
00:07:35,999 --> 00:07:39,870
The big deal is that

398
00:07:35,999 --> 00:07:39,870
we're raising a child together,

399
00:07:39,870 --> 00:07:41,159
and you have a chance

400
00:07:41,159 --> 00:07:43,241
to make him different

401
00:07:41,159 --> 00:07:43,241
than those two.

402
00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:44,365
Hello.

403
00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:44,365
Us?

404
00:07:44,365 --> 00:07:45,739
I'm sorry.

405
00:07:44,365 --> 00:07:45,739
What's wrong with us?

406
00:07:45,739 --> 00:07:47,029
I'd take a bullet

407
00:07:45,739 --> 00:07:47,029
for you,

408
00:07:47,029 --> 00:07:48,819
but you two

409
00:07:47,029 --> 00:07:48,819
are kind of neurotic.

410
00:07:48,819 --> 00:07:50,442
We're not neurotic.

411
00:07:48,819 --> 00:07:50,442
Do people say

412
00:07:48,819 --> 00:07:50,442
that we're neurotic?

413
00:07:50,442 --> 00:07:52,690
They don't say that,

414
00:07:50,442 --> 00:07:52,690
do they?

415
00:07:50,442 --> 00:07:52,690
Yes. Yes.

416
00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:54,688
All the junk wants

417
00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:54,688
to come out of the drawer.

418
00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:56,144
Can you feel it?

419
00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:56,144
I can.

420
00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:57,268
No, Jay doesn't feel

421
00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:57,268
anything.

422
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,351
I feel lots of things.

423
00:07:58,351 --> 00:08:00,140
Annoyed that

424
00:07:58,351 --> 00:08:00,140
I'm missing my game,

425
00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:02,305
joy that the Steelers

426
00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:02,305
are winning.

427
00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:02,305
Oh, what is the score?

428
00:08:02,305 --> 00:08:03,762
We're not gonna talk

429
00:08:02,305 --> 00:08:03,762
about football here!

430
00:08:03,762 --> 00:08:04,886
Gloria's right.

431
00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:06,259
We should talk about

432
00:08:04,886 --> 00:08:06,259
deeper things

433
00:08:06,259 --> 00:08:07,842
like those awkward years

434
00:08:06,259 --> 00:08:07,842
between 14 to 6.

435
00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:09,256
Oh. Yes.

436
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,964
When do we get to talk about

437
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,964
the dumb things

438
00:08:10,964 --> 00:08:12,420
that our husbands do?

439
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,168
Gloria, thank you.

440
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,168
I'm glad you said that.

441
00:08:14,168 --> 00:08:16,749
You're welcome.

442
00:08:14,168 --> 00:08:16,749
At least somebody's helping.

443
00:08:16,749 --> 00:08:19,288
Because that kind of language

444
00:08:16,749 --> 00:08:19,288
is counterproductive.

445
00:08:19,288 --> 00:08:21,079
Oh, snap.

446
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:24,241
This next exercise will teach us

447
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:24,241
how to communicate our needs

448
00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:26,989
in a constructive

449
00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:26,989
and non-threatening manner.

450
00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,362
We do that

451
00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,362
all the time.

452
00:08:28,362 --> 00:08:30,152
Very constructively

453
00:08:28,362 --> 00:08:30,152
communicated.

454
00:08:30,152 --> 00:08:31,943
Would one of my couples

455
00:08:30,152 --> 00:08:31,943
like to help me demonstrate

456
00:08:31,943 --> 00:08:33,191
for the rest of the group?

457
00:08:33,191 --> 00:08:34,856
Yes, we would.

458
00:08:33,191 --> 00:08:34,856
We'd love to help.

459
00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:36,896
How is this low profile?

460
00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:36,896
Oh, come on, it'll fun.

461
00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:38,144
Your chair, please, Cam.

462
00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:38,144
Sure.

463
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,100
Face this way.

464
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,100
Thank you.

465
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:43,389
Now, I'd like you both

466
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:43,389
to think of a behavior

467
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,804
of your partner's

468
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,804
that you would like to change.

469
00:08:45,804 --> 00:08:47,510
But we're going to avoid

470
00:08:45,804 --> 00:08:47,510
phrases

471
00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:49,508
like "you always"

472
00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:49,508
and "you never,"

473
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:52,588
and instead put it in terms of

474
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:52,588
how we feel.

475
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:52,588
Okay.

476
00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:55,169
Mitch, you'll start.

477
00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:55,169
Okay.

478
00:08:55,169 --> 00:08:57,958
Sometimes, I wish you

479
00:08:55,169 --> 00:08:57,958
wouldn't wear blue so much

480
00:08:57,958 --> 00:09:01,829
because I feel jealous

481
00:08:57,958 --> 00:09:01,829
that you look so good in it.

482
00:09:01,829 --> 00:09:04,368
Now, Cam, let Mitch know

483
00:09:01,829 --> 00:09:04,368
if you heard Him

484
00:09:04,368 --> 00:09:05,950
and if you feel

485
00:09:04,368 --> 00:09:05,950
you can do that.

486
00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:07,782
I did hear that.

487
00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:09,031
Okay.

488
00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:10,695
And I will try

489
00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:10,695
to wear less blue.

490
00:09:10,695 --> 00:09:12,318
Very good. Very good.

491
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,483
Maybe dig a little deeper

492
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,483
in the drawer.

493
00:09:14,483 --> 00:09:18,229
Well, sometimes when you don't

494
00:09:14,483 --> 00:09:18,229
use a coaster with a ... a drink,

495
00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:20,352
I get anxious because

496
00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:20,352
I love our furniture

497
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,643
and we bought it

498
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,643
together.

499
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:25,055
Aww, that's very sweet.

500
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:25,055
I hear that.

501
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:26,346
And I'm gonna try

502
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:26,346
and use a coaster more.

503
00:09:26,346 --> 00:09:27,470
Okay.

504
00:09:26,346 --> 00:09:27,470
Excellent, both of you.

505
00:09:27,470 --> 00:09:29,635
Mitch, keep going.

506
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,173
Yeah, so, uh... sometimes

507
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,173
when you leave the room

508
00:09:32,173 --> 00:09:34,171
and you don't turn off

509
00:09:32,173 --> 00:09:34,171
the lights, I just feel ...

510
00:09:34,171 --> 00:09:36,004
Seriously?

511
00:09:34,171 --> 00:09:36,004
That again?

512
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:38,167
Surfacy.

513
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:38,167
Well, I told you not to harp

514
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:38,167
on me about the lights.

515
00:09:38,167 --> 00:09:39,500
Oh, because this is

516
00:09:38,167 --> 00:09:39,500
the first

517
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,790
that I'm hearing

518
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,790
about the coasters.

519
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:42,247
Here we go.

520
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:43,746
Okay, I don't appreciate

521
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:43,746
the smirking.

522
00:09:43,746 --> 00:09:45,244
I hear you, Mitchell,

523
00:09:45,244 --> 00:09:48,074
and I will try to smirk

524
00:09:45,244 --> 00:09:48,074
when you're not looking.

525
00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:53,111
I feel like if Andy weren't

526
00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:53,111
engaged, we'd have a chance.

527
00:09:53,111 --> 00:09:54,943
And if Reuben were

528
00:09:53,111 --> 00:09:54,943
just a little bit older

529
00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:56,691
and didn't wear

530
00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:56,691
prescription shoes ...

531
00:09:56,691 --> 00:09:58,231
it'd still be gross.

532
00:09:56,691 --> 00:09:58,231
I know.

533
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,020
What are we gonna do?

534
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,020
We should both just end it.

535
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:01,769
I am not killing myself.

536
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,559
No!

537
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,559
Break up with them.

538
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,265
Oh, God.

539
00:10:05,265 --> 00:10:08,387
You deserve somebody that

540
00:10:05,265 --> 00:10:08,387
isn't engaged to somebody else.

541
00:10:08,387 --> 00:10:10,094
Yeah, and you deserve

542
00:10:08,387 --> 00:10:10,094
to be with someone

543
00:10:10,094 --> 00:10:11,468
who didn't take baths

544
00:10:10,094 --> 00:10:11,468
with Luke.

545
00:10:11,468 --> 00:10:12,883
I already tried

546
00:10:11,468 --> 00:10:12,883
to dump him once.

547
00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:14,423
Hopefully it'll go better

548
00:10:12,883 --> 00:10:14,423
this time.

549
00:10:14,423 --> 00:10:16,504
Look, I'm sick

550
00:10:14,423 --> 00:10:16,504
of hiding our love.

551
00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:18,669
If you're ashamed

552
00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:18,669
of me ...

553
00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:18,669
I am.

554
00:10:18,669 --> 00:10:20,417
Then maybe

555
00:10:18,669 --> 00:10:20,417
we should break up.

556
00:10:18,669 --> 00:10:20,417
We should.

557
00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:21,749
No, please don't break up

558
00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:21,749
with me.

559
00:10:21,749 --> 00:10:23,331
You're the ...

560
00:10:21,749 --> 00:10:23,331
the smartest,

561
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,329
most beautiful girl

562
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,329
on the planet.

563
00:10:25,329 --> 00:10:27,702
Fine.

564
00:10:27,702 --> 00:10:28,909
I'm gonna text Andy

565
00:10:27,702 --> 00:10:28,909
right now

566
00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:30,240
and tell him

567
00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:30,240
we need to talk today,

568
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,948
and you should, too.

569
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,948
I can't text him.

570
00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:33,279
He lost

571
00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:33,279
his phone privileges

572
00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:34,653
until he gets his Spanish grade

573
00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:34,653
back up,

574
00:10:34,653 --> 00:10:36,693
but I'll just go hang

575
00:10:34,653 --> 00:10:36,693
around the playground

576
00:10:36,693 --> 00:10:38,232
till his kickball practice

577
00:10:36,693 --> 00:10:38,232
is over.

578
00:10:38,232 --> 00:10:40,064
I'm glad we talked.

579
00:10:40,064 --> 00:10:41,729
Me too.

580
00:10:41,729 --> 00:10:42,937
This is how we're gonna stay

581
00:10:41,729 --> 00:10:42,937
on track

582
00:10:42,937 --> 00:10:44,310
for the rest

583
00:10:42,937 --> 00:10:44,310
of our lives ...

584
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,767
by always being there

585
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,767
for each other.

586
00:10:46,599 --> 00:10:48,306
He plays kickball?

587
00:10:48,306 --> 00:10:50,595
Equipment manager.

588
00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:53,092
Now that we're learning

589
00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:53,092
to communicate constructively,

590
00:10:53,092 --> 00:10:54,965
let's put those new skills

591
00:10:53,092 --> 00:10:54,965
to use.

592
00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:56,173
Thank you.

593
00:10:56,173 --> 00:10:58,046
I want everyone

594
00:10:56,173 --> 00:10:58,046
to write down

595
00:10:58,046 --> 00:11:01,168
everything about your partner

596
00:10:58,046 --> 00:11:01,168
that drives you crazy.

597
00:11:01,168 --> 00:11:02,375
Really?

598
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:03,749
The drawers are open.

599
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:03,749
Dig in.

600
00:11:03,749 --> 00:11:05,497
Sounds a little marriage-endy,

601
00:11:03,749 --> 00:11:05,497
doesn't it?

602
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:07,994
I mean, it does,

603
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:07,994
but not for us.

604
00:11:07,994 --> 00:11:09,618
Maybe...

605
00:11:09,618 --> 00:11:11,283
Oh, huh, interesting.

606
00:11:12,698 --> 00:11:14,530
Phil, there's nothing

607
00:11:12,698 --> 00:11:14,530
that bugs you about Claire?

608
00:11:14,530 --> 00:11:15,362
Nope.

609
00:11:15,362 --> 00:11:16,903
Not even "Me likey"?

610
00:11:16,903 --> 00:11:18,442
What's he talking about?

611
00:11:16,903 --> 00:11:18,442
I have no idea.

612
00:11:18,442 --> 00:11:20,232
He says you say it a lot

613
00:11:18,442 --> 00:11:20,232
and it drives him crazy.

614
00:11:20,232 --> 00:11:21,523
Phil.

615
00:11:21,523 --> 00:11:23,854
Okay, uh, Claire.

616
00:11:21,523 --> 00:11:23,854
Yeah.

617
00:11:23,854 --> 00:11:25,102
I love you.

618
00:11:23,854 --> 00:11:25,102
I know.

619
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,684
But when you use

620
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,684
that expression,

621
00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:30,764
it makes me feel,

622
00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:30,764
um... icky.

623
00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:33,968
But, I mean, I've hardly

624
00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:33,968
ever even used the expression ...

625
00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:35,924
Me likey sushi,

626
00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:35,924
me likey "Game of Thrones,"

627
00:11:35,924 --> 00:11:37,548
me likey chardonnay.

628
00:11:37,548 --> 00:11:40,212
It does hit my ear wrong.

629
00:11:37,548 --> 00:11:40,212
But you know what? Forget it.

630
00:11:40,212 --> 00:11:42,543
I'm sorry.

631
00:11:40,212 --> 00:11:42,543
I got nothing to complain about.

632
00:11:42,543 --> 00:11:44,000
Me lucky.

633
00:11:42,543 --> 00:11:44,000
Mnh-mnh.

634
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,081
Phil, never apologize

635
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,081
for your feelings.

636
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:49,370
I thought we're not

637
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:49,370
supposed to say "never."

638
00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:51,409
Good catch, Jay.

639
00:11:49,370 --> 00:11:51,409
Thank you.

640
00:11:51,409 --> 00:11:54,490
As the kids say, it's

641
00:11:51,409 --> 00:11:54,490
going to get real up in here,

642
00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:56,238
but trust me, after that,

643
00:11:56,238 --> 00:11:59,942
once I've guided you through

644
00:11:56,238 --> 00:11:59,942
the extremely specific steps

645
00:11:59,942 --> 00:12:01,940
in deciding

646
00:11:59,942 --> 00:12:01,940
what goes back in the drawer

647
00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:03,856
and what gets thrown out,

648
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:06,353
you will be the best version

649
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:06,353
of yourselves.

650
00:12:06,353 --> 00:12:08,309
It always works.

651
00:12:06,353 --> 00:12:08,309
Don't say "always."

652
00:12:08,309 --> 00:12:09,516
Thank you.

653
00:12:09,516 --> 00:12:11,056
Let's get writing.

654
00:12:11,056 --> 00:12:13,429
Nothing is off-limits.

655
00:12:13,429 --> 00:12:16,925
These are your private thoughts,

656
00:12:13,429 --> 00:12:16,925
and you are entitled to them.

657
00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:18,757
Excuse me.

658
00:12:20,047 --> 00:12:21,171
You think I'm too loud?

659
00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:22,462
Shh!

660
00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:22,462
Shh!

661
00:12:22,462 --> 00:12:23,586
How am I loud?

662
00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:25,084
Well, you take in

663
00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:25,084
too much air

664
00:12:25,084 --> 00:12:27,290
and you expel that air

665
00:12:25,084 --> 00:12:27,290
with large and sudden bursts.

666
00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:28,747
That's how.

667
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,245
Oh, so you're saying

668
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,245
that I am full of hot air?

669
00:12:30,245 --> 00:12:31,703
No, I'm saying

670
00:12:30,245 --> 00:12:31,703
just the opposite.

671
00:12:31,703 --> 00:12:33,866
None of the air stays

672
00:12:31,703 --> 00:12:33,866
in you.

673
00:12:31,703 --> 00:12:33,866
Hmm.

674
00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:36,573
The lights again.

675
00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:36,573
Now you've written it down?

676
00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:38,903
I'm trying to stick

677
00:12:36,573 --> 00:12:38,903
to the small stuff.

678
00:12:38,903 --> 00:12:40,235
Oh, well,

679
00:12:38,903 --> 00:12:40,235
congratulations.

680
00:12:40,235 --> 00:12:41,568
You nailed it,

681
00:12:40,235 --> 00:12:41,568
because that's real small.

682
00:12:41,568 --> 00:12:43,191
It ... Okay, it bothers me,

683
00:12:41,568 --> 00:12:43,191
all right?

684
00:12:43,191 --> 00:12:46,021
I-I've asked you very nicely

685
00:12:43,191 --> 00:12:46,021
to turn off the lights.

686
00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:47,478
Constantly.

687
00:12:47,478 --> 00:12:49,351
It's like we're Londoners

688
00:12:47,478 --> 00:12:49,351
hiding from war planes.

689
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,141
Why did you write down

690
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,141
"teepee joke"?

691
00:12:51,141 --> 00:12:52,889
Debra said these are my personal

692
00:12:51,141 --> 00:12:52,889
and private thoughts.

693
00:12:52,889 --> 00:12:54,263
I love that joke.

694
00:12:52,889 --> 00:12:54,263
I tell it all the time.

695
00:12:54,263 --> 00:12:56,553
It's funny.

696
00:12:54,263 --> 00:12:56,553
To you.

697
00:12:56,553 --> 00:12:59,050
Okay.

698
00:12:56,553 --> 00:12:59,050
Listen up, guys.

699
00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:01,089
This guy walks into

700
00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:01,089
his shrink's office and he says,

701
00:13:01,089 --> 00:13:04,378
"Doc, what's wrong with me?

702
00:13:01,089 --> 00:13:04,378
I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam."

703
00:13:04,378 --> 00:13:06,334
And the doc says,

704
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:09,040
"That's your problem.

705
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:09,040
You're two tents."

706
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,539
Do you get it?

707
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,539
Two tents.

708
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,369
That's bad, Claire.

709
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,369
That's really bad.

710
00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:14,909
You made her

711
00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:14,909
like that.

712
00:13:14,909 --> 00:13:16,574
If you let her

713
00:13:14,909 --> 00:13:16,574
feel things,

714
00:13:16,574 --> 00:13:18,322
maybe she'll know

715
00:13:16,574 --> 00:13:18,322
what is funny.

716
00:13:18,322 --> 00:13:19,655
Don't care

717
00:13:18,322 --> 00:13:19,655
what you people think.

718
00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:21,528
Me likey.

719
00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:21,528
Mm.

720
00:13:21,528 --> 00:13:23,317
What is wrong

721
00:13:21,528 --> 00:13:23,317
with "me likey"?

722
00:13:23,317 --> 00:13:24,525
Claire...

723
00:13:23,317 --> 00:13:24,525
Yes.

724
00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:26,231
I love you.

725
00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:26,231
Oh, then stop saying it!

726
00:13:26,231 --> 00:13:28,687
It just seems

727
00:13:26,231 --> 00:13:28,687
a little childish.

728
00:13:26,231 --> 00:13:28,687
Really?

729
00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:31,476
'Cause you're the one

730
00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:31,476
who can't stop playing

731
00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:31,476
with his pogo stick.

732
00:13:31,476 --> 00:13:32,517
You know what?

733
00:13:31,476 --> 00:13:32,517
Mm-hmm?

734
00:13:32,517 --> 00:13:34,473
Maybe you'd be happier

735
00:13:34,473 --> 00:13:37,137
if you played with my pogo stick

736
00:13:34,473 --> 00:13:37,137
once in a while.

737
00:13:34,473 --> 00:13:37,137
Oh, my God!

738
00:13:37,137 --> 00:13:39,468
What's sad is they're actually

739
00:13:37,137 --> 00:13:39,468
talking about a pogo stick.

740
00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:42,090
What's sad is you love

741
00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:42,090
electricity more than me.

742
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:44,421
It's like we have

743
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:44,421
a deranged second-grader

744
00:13:44,421 --> 00:13:45,545
bouncing around

745
00:13:44,421 --> 00:13:45,545
the neighborhood.

746
00:13:45,545 --> 00:13:47,293
When did you get so old?

747
00:13:45,545 --> 00:13:47,293
Oh!

748
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,334
I mean, I love you!

749
00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:49,832
All right, Cam,

750
00:13:49,832 --> 00:13:51,414
it's been a pet peeve of mine

751
00:13:49,832 --> 00:13:51,414
since I was a kid,

752
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,578
and I've asked you so many times

753
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,578
that when you ignore me,

754
00:13:54,578 --> 00:13:57,117
it feels

755
00:13:54,578 --> 00:13:57,117
a little passive-aggressive.

756
00:13:57,117 --> 00:13:59,198
And when you nag me

757
00:13:57,117 --> 00:13:59,198
constantly,

758
00:13:59,198 --> 00:14:02,112
it feels like

759
00:13:59,198 --> 00:14:02,112
I'm talking to my mother.

760
00:14:02,112 --> 00:14:03,527
When I have to nag you,

761
00:14:03,527 --> 00:14:04,984
it makes me feel

762
00:14:03,527 --> 00:14:04,984
like I am your mother,

763
00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:06,358
which could be

764
00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:06,358
why it's been a month

765
00:14:06,358 --> 00:14:08,106
since we played with

766
00:14:06,358 --> 00:14:08,106
each other's pogo sticks.

767
00:14:08,106 --> 00:14:08,980
Oh.

768
00:14:08,106 --> 00:14:08,980
Ay.

769
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:11,269
Oh, my God!

770
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:12,851
How do you think we feel,

771
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:12,851
Mitchell?

772
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,475
Oh!

773
00:14:14,475 --> 00:14:16,556
Miss, this is not going the way

774
00:14:14,475 --> 00:14:16,556
it should be.

775
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,304
Why don't you tell us

776
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,304
how to fix this?

777
00:14:18,304 --> 00:14:19,802
I'm so sorry.

778
00:14:18,304 --> 00:14:19,802
I have to go.

779
00:14:19,802 --> 00:14:21,426
No, no, no!

780
00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:23,091
You have to help us

781
00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:23,091
put this back together!

782
00:14:23,091 --> 00:14:24,465
It's a family emergency.

783
00:14:24,465 --> 00:14:26,088
Trust me, it cannot be

784
00:14:24,465 --> 00:14:26,088
as bad as this one.

785
00:14:27,128 --> 00:14:28,586
I'm sorry.

786
00:14:27,128 --> 00:14:28,586
I'm sorry!

787
00:14:28,586 --> 00:14:30,042
But I have to go pick up

788
00:14:28,586 --> 00:14:30,042
my son

789
00:14:30,042 --> 00:14:31,915
because my idiot ex-husband

790
00:14:30,042 --> 00:14:31,915
loaned his car

791
00:14:31,915 --> 00:14:33,206
to his latest tinder whore.

792
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,580
We paid good money

793
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,580
for this.

794
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,411
No, it was only $84.

795
00:14:36,411 --> 00:14:37,951
Excuse me?

796
00:14:37,951 --> 00:14:40,282
I would've paid more,

797
00:14:37,951 --> 00:14:40,282
but nobody else was bidding.

798
00:14:40,282 --> 00:14:42,572
That's great.

799
00:14:42,572 --> 00:14:44,486
You know what?

800
00:14:42,572 --> 00:14:44,486
I deserve it.

801
00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:47,857
This is what you get for dumbing

802
00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:47,857
down 30 years of research

803
00:14:47,857 --> 00:14:51,229
for a trite analogy

804
00:14:47,857 --> 00:14:51,229
of a junk drawer.

805
00:14:51,229 --> 00:14:52,603
Just because

806
00:14:51,229 --> 00:14:52,603
my editor told me

807
00:14:52,603 --> 00:14:54,185
it would get me

808
00:14:52,603 --> 00:14:54,185
on the "Ellen" show.

809
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:55,184
You were on "Ellen"?

810
00:14:55,184 --> 00:14:56,723
Oh, yeah, yeah.

811
00:14:56,723 --> 00:14:58,639
I danced my way

812
00:14:56,723 --> 00:14:58,639
into America's heart,

813
00:14:58,639 --> 00:15:01,718
and that's why I'm stuck here on

814
00:14:58,639 --> 00:15:01,718
a Sunday afternoon for 80 bucks.

815
00:15:01,718 --> 00:15:03,592
Wait.

816
00:15:01,718 --> 00:15:03,592
You can't leave now.

817
00:15:04,591 --> 00:15:06,048
All our junk is out!

818
00:15:13,998 --> 00:15:16,288
Hey.

819
00:15:13,998 --> 00:15:16,288
Hey.

820
00:15:16,288 --> 00:15:17,994
That's a cool shirt.

821
00:15:16,288 --> 00:15:17,994
You look nice.

822
00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:19,535
I have to cut you off

823
00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:19,535
right there.

824
00:15:19,535 --> 00:15:21,033
The shirt stays on.

825
00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:22,739
I have to hang up

826
00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:22,739
on this booty call.

827
00:15:22,739 --> 00:15:24,113
Wait, what?

828
00:15:24,113 --> 00:15:26,611
You and me, this ...

829
00:15:24,113 --> 00:15:26,611
this has to stop.

830
00:15:26,611 --> 00:15:28,900
I'm so racked with guilt.

831
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,731
I keep giving money

832
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,731
to different charities.

833
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:33,853
I even fronted a Zach Braff

834
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:33,853
movie on Kickstarter.

835
00:15:33,853 --> 00:15:35,394
Andy, slow down.

836
00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:37,517
No, you're not gonna talk me

837
00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:37,517
into it.

838
00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:39,972
I'm even wearing embarrassing

839
00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:39,972
underwear just in case.

840
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,429
Oh, God, you're making this

841
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,429
so much easier.

842
00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:44,260
Look, I texted you

843
00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:44,260
to say the same thing.

844
00:15:45,384 --> 00:15:46,383
You did?

845
00:15:46,383 --> 00:15:48,297
Yeah.

846
00:15:48,297 --> 00:15:51,503
I'm trying to be

847
00:15:48,297 --> 00:15:51,503
a better person.

848
00:15:51,503 --> 00:15:54,375
And, ironically, you're one of

849
00:15:51,503 --> 00:15:54,375
the reasons why, but...

850
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:58,870
A better person does not hook up

851
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:58,870
with an engaged person.

852
00:16:03,324 --> 00:16:05,155
So, what now?

853
00:16:05,155 --> 00:16:06,945
I don't know.

854
00:16:06,945 --> 00:16:08,319
We're still gonna see

855
00:16:06,945 --> 00:16:08,319
each other.

856
00:16:08,319 --> 00:16:09,775
You work for, like,

857
00:16:08,319 --> 00:16:09,775
half my family.

858
00:16:11,857 --> 00:16:13,980
Do I remove you

859
00:16:11,857 --> 00:16:13,980
from my calling circle?

860
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:16,603
I think that's between you

861
00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:16,603
and your wireless carrier.

862
00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:20,349
I guess that's that.

863
00:16:20,349 --> 00:16:21,930
It's not like

864
00:16:20,349 --> 00:16:21,930
it's goodbye forever.

865
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:23,803
It's just...

866
00:16:23,803 --> 00:16:26,093
When we run into each other

867
00:16:23,803 --> 00:16:26,093
from now on,

868
00:16:26,093 --> 00:16:28,965
we keep our clothes on.

869
00:16:28,965 --> 00:16:32,961
Yes. Totally.

870
00:16:36,124 --> 00:16:38,122
But, you know...

871
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,538
If things were different ...

872
00:16:39,538 --> 00:16:41,411
I know.

873
00:16:41,411 --> 00:16:43,825
Bye, Haley.

874
00:16:48,237 --> 00:16:49,486
Bye.

875
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:50,818
So, that's it?

876
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:50,818
It's over?

877
00:16:50,818 --> 00:16:52,400
I can't believe

878
00:16:50,818 --> 00:16:52,400
she just left like that.

879
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,605
Great.

880
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,605
Now what?

881
00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,104
I know

882
00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,104
what you're all thinking,

883
00:16:56,104 --> 00:16:58,394
and, yes, I will take over

884
00:16:56,104 --> 00:16:58,394
as group leader.

885
00:16:58,394 --> 00:16:59,809
No one's thinking that.

886
00:16:59,809 --> 00:17:01,723
I'm the only one

887
00:16:59,809 --> 00:17:01,723
with improv experience.

888
00:17:01,723 --> 00:17:03,222
Oh, really?

889
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,636
Or was I the only white member

890
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,636
of Ha Ha Black Sheep?

891
00:17:05,636 --> 00:17:07,302
I seem to remember

892
00:17:05,636 --> 00:17:07,302
bringing down the hizouse

893
00:17:07,302 --> 00:17:08,966
with such classic characters

894
00:17:07,302 --> 00:17:08,966
as "Scared Tourist,"

895
00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:10,549
"Quarterback,"

896
00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:10,549
"and Bryant Gumbel."

897
00:17:10,549 --> 00:17:12,463
I'll tag you in if I need you.

898
00:17:10,549 --> 00:17:12,463
All right, everyone.

899
00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:15,626
This first exercise is called

900
00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:15,626
entrances and exits.

901
00:17:15,626 --> 00:17:16,917
Let me go first.

902
00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:18,790
I'm leaving to watch

903
00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:18,790
the football game.

904
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:20,164
No, senor!

905
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:20,164
Jay, no.

906
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,496
Oh, dear God!

907
00:17:21,496 --> 00:17:23,452
The only reason

908
00:17:21,496 --> 00:17:23,452
we stirred all this up

909
00:17:23,452 --> 00:17:24,784
is 'cause Mrs. Magoo here

910
00:17:24,784 --> 00:17:27,115
thought she was bidding

911
00:17:24,784 --> 00:17:27,115
on a home organizer.

912
00:17:27,115 --> 00:17:29,820
I knew

913
00:17:27,115 --> 00:17:29,820
exactly what I was doing!

914
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,985
I have tried everything.

915
00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:35,315
I just needed a new way to

916
00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:35,315
get you to express your feelings

917
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,896
and to allow other people

918
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,896
to express theirs.

919
00:17:37,896 --> 00:17:39,685
I need you to be fine

920
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:42,517
with Manny dancing around

921
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:42,517
the living room when he's happy

922
00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,473
and Joe crying

923
00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,473
when he's sad.

924
00:17:44,473 --> 00:17:47,178
You don't see the downside

925
00:17:44,473 --> 00:17:47,178
to all this?

926
00:17:44,473 --> 00:17:47,178
No.

927
00:17:47,178 --> 00:17:48,427
Mitchell, you want

928
00:17:47,178 --> 00:17:48,427
to weigh in here?

929
00:17:48,427 --> 00:17:50,467
We're all reliving it.

930
00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:52,132
How about you two?

931
00:17:52,132 --> 00:17:55,004
You feel good about getting all

932
00:17:52,132 --> 00:17:55,004
this stuff out in the open?

933
00:17:55,004 --> 00:17:56,710
Let me just make one thing

934
00:17:55,004 --> 00:17:56,710
perfectly clear.

935
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:59,083
There were two tents.

936
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:03,121
T-E-N-T-S and T-E...

937
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:03,121
You're right.

938
00:18:03,121 --> 00:18:05,244
It's a horrible joke.

939
00:18:03,121 --> 00:18:05,244
But it's all your fault.

940
00:18:05,244 --> 00:18:06,742
I told you!

941
00:18:06,742 --> 00:18:08,906
For the record,

942
00:18:06,742 --> 00:18:08,906
we are just as grossed out

943
00:18:08,906 --> 00:18:10,654
at the thought

944
00:18:08,906 --> 00:18:10,654
of you all having sex ...

945
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,943
That's it! I'm out!

946
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,943
What the hell are we doing?

947
00:18:13,943 --> 00:18:16,149
Dancing around,

948
00:18:13,943 --> 00:18:16,149
telling secrets

949
00:18:16,149 --> 00:18:17,647
like girls

950
00:18:16,149 --> 00:18:17,647
at a slumber party.

951
00:18:17,647 --> 00:18:20,145
I can just imagine

952
00:18:17,647 --> 00:18:20,145
my old man with his buddies

953
00:18:20,145 --> 00:18:23,017
sitting at their lawn chairs,

954
00:18:20,145 --> 00:18:23,017
laughing their asses off

955
00:18:23,017 --> 00:18:24,724
that I missed

956
00:18:23,017 --> 00:18:24,724
a whole day of football

957
00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:26,972
'cause I'm trying to get

958
00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:26,972
in touch with my emotions.

959
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:31,675
These guys didn't do that crap.

960
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:31,675
These were men!

961
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,673
His best friend Tommy Ryan

962
00:18:33,673 --> 00:18:35,754
lost half a finger

963
00:18:33,673 --> 00:18:35,754
in a sheet metal press.

964
00:18:35,754 --> 00:18:38,626
Waited until his shift ended

965
00:18:35,754 --> 00:18:38,626
to go to the hospital.

966
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:40,375
I broke my collarbone

967
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:40,375
in a football game.

968
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:44,080
There was Dad up in the stands

969
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:44,080
giving me the old "Be tough."

970
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,493
So I played two more downs

971
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,493
before I passed out.

972
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,366
My date,

973
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,366
MaryJo Klumsky,

974
00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:51,863
left the senior dance

975
00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:51,863
with another guy.

976
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,446
Broke my heart.

977
00:18:53,446 --> 00:18:56,483
2:00 a.m. At the kitchen table,

978
00:18:53,446 --> 00:18:56,483
my old man's telling me,

979
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:59,480
"Eat the sandwich

980
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:59,480
and forget about her."

981
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:03,685
Feelings!

982
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,142
I didn't even cry

983
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,142
at his funeral.

984
00:19:05,142 --> 00:19:06,308
You believe that?

985
00:19:06,308 --> 00:19:08,222
The guy

986
00:19:06,308 --> 00:19:08,222
was my whole world.

987
00:19:08,222 --> 00:19:09,804
Not a tear.

988
00:19:09,804 --> 00:19:13,633
Everybody looking at me like ...

989
00:19:09,804 --> 00:19:13,633
like I didn't love him.

990
00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:15,506
But he knew.

991
00:19:18,046 --> 00:19:19,627
He had to know, right?

992
00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,583
Of course he did.

993
00:19:24,123 --> 00:19:26,662
Son of a bitch,

994
00:19:24,123 --> 00:19:26,662
that felt good getting that out.

995
00:19:26,662 --> 00:19:27,702
Wow.

996
00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:29,118
I know.

997
00:19:29,118 --> 00:19:31,865
They just won therapy.

998
00:19:31,865 --> 00:19:34,071
Hey, it's me.

999
00:19:31,865 --> 00:19:34,071
I broke up with Reuben.

1000
00:19:34,071 --> 00:19:35,404
I knew he'd be crushed,

1001
00:19:35,404 --> 00:19:36,902
so I did it quickly

1002
00:19:35,404 --> 00:19:36,902
like ripping off

1003
00:19:36,902 --> 00:19:38,483
one of his incredible hulk

1004
00:19:36,902 --> 00:19:38,483
Band-Aids.

1005
00:19:38,483 --> 00:19:40,024
So, how about you?

1006
00:19:38,483 --> 00:19:40,024
Did you do it?

1007
00:19:40,024 --> 00:19:43,603
Yep.

1008
00:19:40,024 --> 00:19:43,603
I sure did.

1009
00:19:43,603 --> 00:19:47,058
"Why do we choose partners

1010
00:19:43,603 --> 00:19:47,058
so different from ourselves?

1011
00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:50,596
It's not fate or chance

1012
00:19:50,596 --> 00:19:53,676
or clichés like 'The heart wants

1013
00:19:50,596 --> 00:19:53,676
what the heart wants.'"

1014
00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:58,546
"We choose our partners

1015
00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:58,546
because they represent

1016
00:19:58,546 --> 00:20:01,378
the unfinished business

1017
00:19:58,546 --> 00:20:01,378
from our childhood."

1018
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,953
Phil.

1019
00:20:08,953 --> 00:20:10,035
Phil.

1020
00:20:10,035 --> 00:20:11,700
"And we choose them

1021
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,198
because they manifest

1022
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,198
the qualities we wish we had."

1023
00:20:15,488 --> 00:20:17,237
I'm afraid I'm not fun enough

1024
00:20:15,488 --> 00:20:17,237
for you.

1025
00:20:17,237 --> 00:20:19,609
Huh?

1026
00:20:17,237 --> 00:20:19,609
Yeah.

1027
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,732
My sayings aren't cute,

1028
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,732
my jokes aren't funny, and ...

1029
00:20:21,732 --> 00:20:23,771
and you're gonna get sick of me

1030
00:20:21,732 --> 00:20:23,771
once the kids leave

1031
00:20:23,771 --> 00:20:26,228
and you realize

1032
00:20:23,771 --> 00:20:26,228
how truly crazy I am.

1033
00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:28,226
Really?

1034
00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:28,226
Mm-hmm.

1035
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:32,180
Honey, I already know

1036
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:32,180
how crazy you are.

1037
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:35,968
"In doing so, in choosing

1038
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:35,968
such a challenging partner,

1039
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,673
and working to give them

1040
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,673
what they need,

1041
00:20:38,673 --> 00:20:42,377
we chart a course

1042
00:20:38,673 --> 00:20:42,377
for our own growth."

1043
00:20:42,377 --> 00:20:44,168
Go to sleep,

1044
00:20:42,377 --> 00:20:44,168
Jay-Jay.

1045
00:20:44,168 --> 00:20:46,665
I'm telling you,

1046
00:20:44,168 --> 00:20:46,665
the woman is a genius.

1047
00:20:58,029 --> 00:21:00,484
I didn't feel like going to

1048
00:20:58,029 --> 00:21:00,484
my grandpa's house that Sunday,

1049
00:21:00,484 --> 00:21:02,691
so I pretended

1050
00:21:00,484 --> 00:21:02,691
to have a cold.

1051
00:21:02,691 --> 00:21:04,855
Wouldn't you know it,

1052
00:21:02,691 --> 00:21:04,855
a few days later...

1053
00:21:04,855 --> 00:21:07,103
Oh, no.

1054
00:21:07,103 --> 00:21:09,517
Yep.

1055
00:21:07,103 --> 00:21:09,517
I got the cold.

1056
00:21:09,517 --> 00:21:12,889
I thought it was karma,

1057
00:21:09,517 --> 00:21:12,889
so I hopped on my bike

1058
00:21:12,889 --> 00:21:14,679
and I rode straight

1059
00:21:12,889 --> 00:21:14,679
to my grandpa's.

1060
00:21:14,679 --> 00:21:18,425
I climbed in his lap

1061
00:21:14,679 --> 00:21:18,425
and I hugged him so hard.

1062
00:21:18,425 --> 00:21:20,923
We even shared

1063
00:21:18,425 --> 00:21:20,923
an ice cream cone.

1064
00:21:20,923 --> 00:21:23,087
It's a memory

1065
00:21:20,923 --> 00:21:23,087
I'll always cherish,

1066
00:21:23,087 --> 00:21:24,669
'cause in

1067
00:21:23,087 --> 00:21:24,669
a crazy coincidence,

1068
00:21:24,669 --> 00:21:27,042
he got a cold, too,

1069
00:21:24,669 --> 00:21:27,042
and was dead within a week.

1070
00:21:33,368 --> 00:21:36,199
Captions by VITAC :