1
00:00:02,475 --> 00:00:04,308
Joe, you're going to see

2
00:00:02,475 --> 00:00:04,308
your first snow.

3
00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:07,266
It's so exciting!

4
00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:07,266
I can't wait

5
00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:07,266
to make a snow person!

6
00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:08,683
"Person"?

7
00:00:08,683 --> 00:00:10,725
We got to get him

8
00:00:08,683 --> 00:00:10,725
out of that hippie school.

9
00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:12,141
I don't know, Jay.

10
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:14,308
Last report card,

11
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:14,308
he got straight dolphins.

12
00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:17,016
Christmas in Colombia

13
00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:17,016
was always hot and loud,

14
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,100
people arguing,

15
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,100
betrayal, schemes.

16
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,933
So I rented a mountain cabin

17
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,933
for the whole family

18
00:00:22,933 --> 00:00:25,725
to celebrate my first Christmas

19
00:00:22,933 --> 00:00:25,725
as an American.

20
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,725
I want a white Christmas,

21
00:00:27,725 --> 00:00:30,725
you know,

22
00:00:27,725 --> 00:00:30,725
like white people have.

23
00:00:30,725 --> 00:00:32,516
Hey, want to hit

24
00:00:30,725 --> 00:00:32,516
the pipe one more time

25
00:00:32,516 --> 00:00:33,808
before

26
00:00:32,516 --> 00:00:33,808
we get on the road?

27
00:00:33,808 --> 00:00:35,516
Um, yeah.

28
00:00:33,808 --> 00:00:35,516
Couldn't hurt.

29
00:00:42,058 --> 00:00:43,766
Oh, my God,

30
00:00:42,058 --> 00:00:43,766
we are killing it!

31
00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:46,641
Last Christmas, Mitchell and I

32
00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:46,641
thought it would be fun

33
00:00:46,641 --> 00:00:48,933
to sing a little Christmas carol

34
00:00:46,641 --> 00:00:48,933
for the family.

35
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:50,766
Unfortunately,

36
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:50,766
it didn't go

37
00:00:50,766 --> 00:00:54,725
so well because somebody had

38
00:00:50,766 --> 00:00:54,725
a little too much to drink.

39
00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:58,308
Stop doing that.

40
00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:58,308
I was nervous.

41
00:01:08,183 --> 00:01:09,183
Mitchell?

42
00:01:10,683 --> 00:01:13,016
The family has been mocking us

43
00:01:10,683 --> 00:01:13,016
relentlessly all year.

44
00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:14,975
Nicknames

45
00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:14,975
like Screeches & Herb,

46
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,266
Simon & God-awful,

47
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,266
Nickelback.

48
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:19,141
But we're gonna

49
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:19,141
redeem ourselves this year.

50
00:01:19,141 --> 00:01:21,391
We have been rehearsing

51
00:01:19,141 --> 00:01:21,391
our new number for months,

52
00:01:21,391 --> 00:01:23,850
and we will debut it

53
00:01:21,391 --> 00:01:23,850
at the cabin

54
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,808
as a special holiday "screw you"

55
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,808
to the family.

56
00:01:26,808 --> 00:01:28,475
Hey, Marty, listen,

57
00:01:28,475 --> 00:01:31,225
it's your hotel,

58
00:01:28,475 --> 00:01:31,225
but a walnut closet

59
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,308
is a place your guests want

60
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,308
to hang their clothes.

61
00:01:33,308 --> 00:01:35,891
A particleboard closet ...

62
00:01:33,308 --> 00:01:35,891
They want to hang themselves.

63
00:01:35,891 --> 00:01:38,225
All this closet stuff

64
00:01:35,891 --> 00:01:38,225
is driving me nuts.

65
00:01:38,225 --> 00:01:39,641
I want to get annoyed,

66
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,391
but it's hard when I feel

67
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,391
this comfortable.

68
00:01:41,391 --> 00:01:43,433
Oh, God, he's gonna talk about

69
00:01:41,391 --> 00:01:43,433
his new coat again.

70
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:46,183
It's like getting a big,

71
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:46,183
warm hug from a mama sheep.

72
00:01:46,183 --> 00:01:48,100
Nothing feels

73
00:01:46,183 --> 00:01:48,100
like pure sheepskin.

74
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:49,433
The gal at the store said

75
00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:51,350
I looked

76
00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:51,350
like Kris Kristofferson.

77
00:01:51,350 --> 00:01:52,683
We don't know who that is.

78
00:01:52,683 --> 00:01:54,266
I have

79
00:01:52,683 --> 00:01:54,266
so much lab homework

80
00:01:54,266 --> 00:01:55,850
to get done

81
00:01:54,266 --> 00:01:55,850
during this break.

82
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,308
If it were up to me,

83
00:01:57,308 --> 00:01:59,725
Christmas wouldn't

84
00:01:57,308 --> 00:01:59,725
even come this year.

85
00:01:59,725 --> 00:02:02,058
Any chance you could sound more

86
00:01:59,725 --> 00:02:02,058
like a cartoon villain?

87
00:02:02,058 --> 00:02:05,558
Come on, Alex, it's three

88
00:02:02,058 --> 00:02:05,558
solid days of winter fun.

89
00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:07,516
We're gonna go sledding,

90
00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:07,516
skating,

91
00:02:07,516 --> 00:02:09,350
ice-fishing,

92
00:02:07,516 --> 00:02:09,350
make snow angels.

93
00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:11,683
Who's with me?

94
00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:11,683
Snow, snow!

95
00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:15,600
Snow, snow, snow,

96
00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:15,600
snow, snow, snow, snow!

97
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,308
Snow?

98
00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:18,891
No, that's a leaf.

99
00:02:18,891 --> 00:02:20,433
It's hotter here

100
00:02:18,891 --> 00:02:20,433
than at home.

101
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,016
Gloria,

102
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,016
in your little daily e-mails,

103
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,350
you said

104
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,350
it was gonna be cold.

105
00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,808
That's what my phone said.

106
00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:27,016
- You're on Celsius.

107
00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:27,016
- Oh.

108
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:29,558
It's going to be hot,

109
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:29,558
guys!

110
00:02:42,141 --> 00:02:44,641
Oh, is the furnace on?

111
00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:45,975
Phil,

112
00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:45,975
take off that jacket.

113
00:02:45,975 --> 00:02:47,850
You're making me hot

114
00:02:45,975 --> 00:02:47,850
just looking at you.

115
00:02:47,850 --> 00:02:49,641
Saleslady said

116
00:02:47,850 --> 00:02:49,641
that would happen.

117
00:02:49,641 --> 00:02:51,641
Trust me, I'm cool as cucumber.

118
00:02:51,641 --> 00:02:54,350
Something about the coat

119
00:02:51,641 --> 00:02:54,350
just knows what my body needs.

120
00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,016
You're sweating

121
00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,016
like a heroin addict.

122
00:02:56,016 --> 00:02:58,975
Oh, hey, look, a piano.

123
00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:01,558
Maybe we can get a little song

124
00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:01,558
from the Crapenters.

125
00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:06,558
- Hey.

126
00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:06,558
- Be cool.

127
00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:07,933
Andy's fiancée, Beth,

128
00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:07,933
has to work,

129
00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:09,350
so Gloria invited him

130
00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:09,350
for Christmas,

131
00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:11,266
which

132
00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:11,266
is complicated

133
00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:13,975
because we've been having sex

134
00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:13,975
and nobody knows about it.

135
00:03:13,975 --> 00:03:16,183
I mean, we know.

136
00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:17,933
My family

137
00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:17,933
cannot find out about us.

138
00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:19,433
I'm certainly not

139
00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:19,433
gonna tell them.

140
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,933
I still have

141
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,933
their respect.

142
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:23,475
Andy, chop-chop.

143
00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:23,475
Joe's making his bathroom face.

144
00:03:23,475 --> 00:03:25,850
All right, let's just go home.

145
00:03:23,475 --> 00:03:25,850
I mean, it's hot.

146
00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:28,808
There's no Wi-Fi.

147
00:03:25,850 --> 00:03:28,808
- Alex, stop being the Grinch.

148
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:32,433
If that is the worst problem,

149
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:32,433
then merry Christmas.

150
00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:34,100
Oh, thank God you made it!

151
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:37,808
I thought you'd gotten

152
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:37,808
into a horrible car accident!

153
00:03:37,808 --> 00:03:39,391
Wait a second.

154
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:42,516
You're not Trip, Tad, Lois,

155
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:42,516
Darcy, and Marlene.

156
00:03:42,516 --> 00:03:44,725
- No, we're other names.

157
00:03:42,516 --> 00:03:44,725
- Who are you?

158
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,475
Fig Wilson.

159
00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:48,516
My family's been coming here

160
00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:48,516
for the holidays for years.

161
00:03:48,516 --> 00:03:50,558
We rented this cabin

162
00:03:48,516 --> 00:03:50,558
from the Wilsons.

163
00:03:50,558 --> 00:03:52,850
They are in Hawaii.

164
00:03:50,558 --> 00:03:52,850
- Nobody told me that.

165
00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:55,391
Okay, well, bye-bye.

166
00:03:55,391 --> 00:03:57,016
How could they abandon me?

167
00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:59,183
Uh, I'm the most caring one

168
00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:59,183
in the family.

169
00:03:59,183 --> 00:04:01,058
I warn them about cancer.

170
00:04:01,058 --> 00:04:04,266
I buy their fat kids clothes

171
00:04:01,058 --> 00:04:04,266
in aspirational sizes.

172
00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:06,975
I invite them all

173
00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:06,975
to my dogs' funerals.

174
00:04:06,975 --> 00:04:09,183
Last one ran straight

175
00:04:06,975 --> 00:04:09,183
into traffic.

176
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,475
I can see that.

177
00:04:10,475 --> 00:04:12,225
Is it possible

178
00:04:10,475 --> 00:04:12,225
the invitation got lost?

179
00:04:12,225 --> 00:04:14,766
I mean...

180
00:04:12,225 --> 00:04:14,766
you seem great.

181
00:04:14,766 --> 00:04:18,725
Well, I guess I'll just get

182
00:04:14,766 --> 00:04:18,725
my bags and walk down the hill.

183
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,891
Hopefully, I'll get to the

184
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,891
bus station before nightfall.

185
00:04:21,891 --> 00:04:24,141
It's wolf season.

186
00:04:24,141 --> 00:04:26,308
Why don't you stay here

187
00:04:24,141 --> 00:04:26,308
with us?

188
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:27,975
It's Christmas.

189
00:04:27,975 --> 00:04:29,433
Oh.

190
00:04:29,433 --> 00:04:30,975
First time I saw you,

191
00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:33,058
I thought you were

192
00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:33,058
gonna be a pain in the ass,

193
00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:35,975
but it turns out

194
00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:35,975
you're my favorite.

195
00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:44,016
What do you think's

196
00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:44,016
in here?

197
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:46,933
No one told you the legend

198
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:46,933
of the forgotten boy?

199
00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:50,183
Happened right here

200
00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:50,183
100 years ago.

201
00:04:50,183 --> 00:04:52,308
A boy was very bad,

202
00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:55,558
and his parents locked him

203
00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:55,558
in this secret room

204
00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:57,391
and left him here

205
00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:57,391
forever.

206
00:04:57,391 --> 00:04:59,100
They say at night,

207
00:04:57,391 --> 00:04:59,100
you can hear him

208
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,933
trying

209
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,933
to scratch his way out.

210
00:05:02,225 --> 00:05:03,850
We got her.

211
00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:06,558
Idiots.

212
00:05:06,558 --> 00:05:08,433
That was you scratching,

213
00:05:06,558 --> 00:05:08,433
right?

214
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,266
- Oh.

215
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,266
- Oh, sorry.

216
00:05:11,266 --> 00:05:13,350
- No, you go.

217
00:05:11,266 --> 00:05:13,350
- No, it's okay. After you.

218
00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:15,225
Here, I'll just...

219
00:05:15,225 --> 00:05:17,891
Oh, why don't I go...

220
00:05:17,891 --> 00:05:20,725
What are you guys doing ...

221
00:05:17,891 --> 00:05:20,725
having a staring contest?

222
00:05:20,725 --> 00:05:21,808
I got winners!

223
00:05:21,808 --> 00:05:24,100
Later, though.

224
00:05:21,808 --> 00:05:24,100
Come here.

225
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,725
Andy...

226
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,433
I've got a very special

227
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,433
present for you.

228
00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:30,225
Did this guy tell you he passed

229
00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:30,225
his real-estate-license test?

230
00:05:30,225 --> 00:05:31,766
I know.

231
00:05:30,225 --> 00:05:31,766
I helped him cram.

232
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,933
Ah, she's really

233
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,933
drilling me pretty hard.

234
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,933
Cool.

235
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,100
Listen, when I first

236
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,100
got into real estate,

237
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,266
I worked at one of those

238
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,266
big firms with the blazers.

239
00:05:38,266 --> 00:05:39,683
I'd rather

240
00:05:38,266 --> 00:05:39,683
not say their name,

241
00:05:39,683 --> 00:05:41,558
but it rhymed with

242
00:05:39,683 --> 00:05:41,558
"Century Not Very Fun."

243
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,558
Anyway, I saved this.

244
00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:46,391
I'd like for you

245
00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:46,391
to have it.

246
00:05:46,391 --> 00:05:48,016
Wow.

247
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:50,516
When you wear it, remember

248
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:50,516
the values of our profession ...

249
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,850
trust, honor, integrity,

250
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,850
fidelity, and purity.

251
00:05:55,266 --> 00:05:57,225
Are you worthy

252
00:05:55,266 --> 00:05:57,225
of the blazer, Andy?

253
00:05:57,225 --> 00:05:59,100
- I want to be.

254
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,766
I didn't expect it

255
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,766
to hit this hard.

256
00:06:00,766 --> 00:06:01,766
Me either.

257
00:06:03,558 --> 00:06:05,850
Who wants eggnog?

258
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:08,516
I'll take some.

259
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:08,516
I had a tough week at work.

260
00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:11,308
What do you do?

261
00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:11,308
Oh, my dad and I are

262
00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:11,308
in the closet business.

263
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:14,183
I'm sorry, it almost

264
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:14,183
sounded like you said,

265
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:14,183
"closet business."

266
00:06:14,183 --> 00:06:17,558
I did ... residential and

267
00:06:14,183 --> 00:06:17,558
hospitality storage solutions.

268
00:06:17,558 --> 00:06:19,016
Yikes.

269
00:06:19,016 --> 00:06:21,308
Hey, specs,

270
00:06:19,016 --> 00:06:21,308
I'm dying over there.

271
00:06:21,308 --> 00:06:23,850
What are you reading?

272
00:06:21,308 --> 00:06:23,850
Science stuff.

273
00:06:21,308 --> 00:06:23,850
I'm sure it'll bore you.

274
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,016
I teach astrophysics

275
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,016
at M.I.T.

276
00:06:26,016 --> 00:06:27,391
Wait a minute.

277
00:06:27,391 --> 00:06:29,350
Are you F.N. Wilson?

278
00:06:27,391 --> 00:06:29,350
- F-N right, I am!

279
00:06:29,350 --> 00:06:30,641
We just read your essay

280
00:06:29,350 --> 00:06:30,641
on how solar flares

281
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,475
will wipe out life

282
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,475
on Earth!

283
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,850
Hopefully before closet lady

284
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,850
corners me again.

285
00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:36,766
Hey, hey,

286
00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:36,766
everybody's here,

287
00:06:36,766 --> 00:06:39,433
so let's just casually

288
00:06:36,766 --> 00:06:39,433
make our way over to the piano.

289
00:06:36,766 --> 00:06:39,433
Okay, okay.

290
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,141
Ooh, what are we drinking there,

291
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,141
Miss Scarlet?

292
00:06:41,141 --> 00:06:43,516
Relax. It's hot tea

293
00:06:41,141 --> 00:06:43,516
for my throat.

294
00:06:43,516 --> 00:06:45,391
Oh, we should

295
00:06:43,516 --> 00:06:45,391
have Lily film us.

296
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,225
- Oh, yeah.

297
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,225
- Hey, Lily, come here.

298
00:06:47,225 --> 00:06:49,600
Okay, so, Daddy and I are about

299
00:06:47,225 --> 00:06:49,600
to sing a Christmas song, and ...

300
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,100
- I'm gonna stop you right there.

301
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,100
- No, no.

302
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,683
No, it's not gonna be

303
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,683
like last year

304
00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:55,725
because we're prepared and

305
00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:55,725
we're singing "Silent Night."

306
00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:57,766
That's my favorite.

307
00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:57,766
Can I sing with you?

308
00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:00,850
Aaaaaah!

309
00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:02,725
Oh.

310
00:07:02,725 --> 00:07:06,058
Can I have

311
00:07:02,725 --> 00:07:06,058
everyone's attention, please?

312
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:08,725
I feel so lucky

313
00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:08,725
celebrating

314
00:07:08,725 --> 00:07:11,225
with the best damn family

315
00:07:08,725 --> 00:07:11,225
any man could hope for.

316
00:07:11,225 --> 00:07:12,600
- Aww!

317
00:07:11,225 --> 00:07:12,600
- Dad.

318
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,641
- And Fig.

319
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,641
- Hey-oh!

320
00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:17,308
Gloria and I have been talking

321
00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:17,308
about this for a while.

322
00:07:17,308 --> 00:07:20,183
What with Joe getting older,

323
00:07:17,308 --> 00:07:20,183
I feel it's just the right time

324
00:07:20,183 --> 00:07:23,183
to start a new chapter,

325
00:07:20,183 --> 00:07:23,183
which is why I've decided...

326
00:07:23,183 --> 00:07:24,225
to retire.

327
00:07:24,225 --> 00:07:25,975
- Oh, my.

328
00:07:24,225 --> 00:07:25,975
- What?

329
00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:27,350
Maybe "retired"

330
00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:27,350
is the wrong word ...

331
00:07:27,350 --> 00:07:28,766
more of a transition.

332
00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:30,850
So, when people ask,

333
00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:30,850
"Where's Jay Pritchett?"

334
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,516
You tell them,

335
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,516
"He's transitioning."

336
00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:34,516
- Mm.

337
00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:34,516
- Okay, I heard it, too.

338
00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:36,350
Let's go back to retiring.

339
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:38,058
Hey, we can finally

340
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:38,058
rent that R.V.

341
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,891
and visit all

342
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,891
of the major league ballparks.

343
00:07:39,891 --> 00:07:41,391
I'll probably go ahead

344
00:07:39,891 --> 00:07:41,391
and do that alone.

345
00:07:41,391 --> 00:07:43,850
Uh, anyway,

346
00:07:41,391 --> 00:07:43,850
I had to ask myself,

347
00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:46,016
"Who's the best person

348
00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:46,016
to lead the company?"

349
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:48,891
And the answer is obvious.

350
00:07:48,891 --> 00:07:50,808
Chuck Feeny.

351
00:07:48,891 --> 00:07:50,808
- Who?

352
00:07:50,808 --> 00:07:53,725
Gutters and screen hot shot

353
00:07:50,808 --> 00:07:53,725
out of Chicago.

354
00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:56,058
With him in charge,

355
00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:56,058
we can all relax

356
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,975
knowing that the company

357
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,975
is in good hands.

358
00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,725
Claire gets a great new boss.

359
00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,725
- Mm-hmm.

360
00:08:00,725 --> 00:08:02,891
And you all get to spend

361
00:08:00,725 --> 00:08:02,891
more time with yours truly.

362
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:05,641
- Uh...

363
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:05,641
- Well, to this one's new boss.

364
00:08:05,641 --> 00:08:06,891
Uh...

365
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:08,266
Claire,

366
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:08,266
that's my gesturing hand.

367
00:08:08,266 --> 00:08:09,766
I need it for work.

368
00:08:14,891 --> 00:08:16,558
I work 60-hour weeks

369
00:08:14,891 --> 00:08:16,558
so Chuck Feeny can have

370
00:08:16,558 --> 00:08:18,058
the corner office and

371
00:08:16,558 --> 00:08:18,058
the best table at Closet Con!

372
00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:19,308
Honey,

373
00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:19,308
you need to slow down.

374
00:08:19,308 --> 00:08:20,600
This coat

375
00:08:19,308 --> 00:08:20,600
isn't quite broken in yet.

376
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,516
Listen, you have

377
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,516
every right to be mad.

378
00:08:23,516 --> 00:08:25,516
Everyone knows

379
00:08:23,516 --> 00:08:25,516
you deserve that job.

380
00:08:25,516 --> 00:08:27,516
And to think

381
00:08:25,516 --> 00:08:27,516
of all the weekends I worked

382
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:29,725
and the ... the family vacations

383
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:29,725
we've put off,

384
00:08:29,725 --> 00:08:32,183
not to mention the stress

385
00:08:29,725 --> 00:08:32,183
and the insomnia and ...

386
00:08:32,183 --> 00:08:34,141
- Come here.

387
00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:37,766
Mm.

388
00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:37,766
Claire, life's like

389
00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:37,766
a mountain road...

390
00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:40,725
with a new adventure

391
00:08:37,766 --> 00:08:40,725
around every corner.

392
00:08:40,725 --> 00:08:43,225
If that's the slogan for this

393
00:08:40,725 --> 00:08:43,225
stupid coat, I'm gonna kill you!

394
00:08:43,225 --> 00:08:44,516
Shh! Get in here.

395
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:48,975
- Have you seen Claire?

396
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:48,975
- No.

397
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:52,016
I told you this Chuck Feeny

398
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:52,016
thing was a terrible idea!

399
00:08:52,016 --> 00:08:53,391
It's a brilliant idea.

400
00:08:53,391 --> 00:08:55,016
There is no Chuck Feeny.

401
00:08:55,016 --> 00:08:57,225
I made him up because

402
00:08:55,016 --> 00:08:57,225
of what happened to Don McSorley

403
00:08:57,225 --> 00:08:59,433
when he turned his company

404
00:08:57,225 --> 00:08:59,433
over to his son.

405
00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:02,475
Son only took the job

406
00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:02,475
because he felt obligated.

407
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,933
One year later,

408
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,933
business went bankrupt.

409
00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:08,683
Broke my heart to buy his entire

410
00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:08,683
inventory 8 cents on the dollar.

411
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,183
I'm doing this for Claire.

412
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,725
She'd do anything

413
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,725
to make me happy,

414
00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:14,975
and that's not why

415
00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:14,975
I want her to take the job.

416
00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:16,725
If she wants it,

417
00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:16,725
she'll fight for it.

418
00:09:16,725 --> 00:09:18,391
If not, I just gave her

419
00:09:16,725 --> 00:09:18,391
an easy out.

420
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,475
I can think

421
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,475
of 10 better ways to do this.

422
00:09:20,475 --> 00:09:22,016
Relax.

423
00:09:20,475 --> 00:09:22,016
It's gonna be perfect.

424
00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:23,975
She'll come to me,

425
00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:23,975
demand what's hers.

426
00:09:23,975 --> 00:09:26,475
I'll tell her the truth,

427
00:09:23,975 --> 00:09:26,475
big hug, perfect Christmas.

428
00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:28,475
I'm a genius.

429
00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:28,475
- You're a crazy person.

430
00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:31,141
In my village, we will tie

431
00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:31,141
a tin can around your neck

432
00:09:31,141 --> 00:09:32,391
to know

433
00:09:31,141 --> 00:09:32,391
when you're coming.

434
00:09:49,266 --> 00:09:53,891
♪ 'Round yon virgin

435
00:09:53,891 --> 00:09:55,933
Okay, hey, hey,

436
00:09:53,891 --> 00:09:55,933
I have a fun idea!

437
00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:58,516
Why don't we give Lily one

438
00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:58,516
of her presents right now?

439
00:09:58,516 --> 00:10:00,891
- Ooh, that is a fun idea, Daddy.

440
00:09:58,516 --> 00:10:00,891
- Yeah.

441
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,600
Then she can go play

442
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,600
with a toy

443
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,725
rather than being

444
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,725
with us boring, old adults.

445
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,725
Mm.

446
00:10:04,725 --> 00:10:06,475
How's that sound, Lily?

447
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,683
I feel like you're up

448
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,683
to something, but I don't care.

449
00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:10,766
I want a present.

450
00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:10,766
I'll take the bike-shaped one.

451
00:10:10,766 --> 00:10:12,933
Nice wrapping job,

452
00:10:10,766 --> 00:10:12,933
by the way.

453
00:10:12,933 --> 00:10:14,350
Uh, wasn't that for Joe?

454
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,850
- Well, Joe's getting a doll now.

455
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,850
- All right.

456
00:10:18,391 --> 00:10:19,391
Oh, hey.

457
00:10:19,391 --> 00:10:20,933
Hey.

458
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:23,058
Gloria asked me

459
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:23,058
to get some kindling.

460
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:23,058
Mm.

461
00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:25,641
Why are you walking around

462
00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:25,641
wearing next to nothing?

463
00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:27,058
It's 26 Celsius

464
00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:27,058
out there.

465
00:10:27,058 --> 00:10:28,266
Ah, I'm not showing

466
00:10:27,058 --> 00:10:28,266
any skin

467
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:29,766
'cause I don't want

468
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:29,766
to tempt you.

469
00:10:29,766 --> 00:10:31,475
Oh, well, your gold blazer

470
00:10:29,766 --> 00:10:31,475
took care of that.

471
00:10:31,475 --> 00:10:33,558
- You know you're into it.

472
00:10:31,475 --> 00:10:33,558
- I know. Why?

473
00:10:33,558 --> 00:10:35,475
Damn you

474
00:10:33,558 --> 00:10:35,475
and that Eagle Scout smile.

475
00:10:35,475 --> 00:10:37,683
I want to take a swim

476
00:10:35,475 --> 00:10:37,683
in those big doe eyes.

477
00:10:37,683 --> 00:10:38,933
This is happening.

478
00:10:38,933 --> 00:10:40,100
- Mm-hmm.

479
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,933
- Getting wood, Andy?

480
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,933
- What?

481
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,475
Mm.

482
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,475
Can you believe Gloria

483
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,475
wants a traditional fire?

484
00:10:44,475 --> 00:10:45,975
As if it isn't hot enough

485
00:10:44,475 --> 00:10:45,975
in here.

486
00:10:45,975 --> 00:10:47,391
- Mm.

487
00:10:45,975 --> 00:10:47,391
- Come on, bro.

488
00:10:47,391 --> 00:10:48,808
Okay.

489
00:10:56,683 --> 00:10:59,350
Hello, Lily.

490
00:10:56,683 --> 00:10:59,350
- What are you wearing?

491
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,183
Mom made us put on

492
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,183
our Christmas sweaters,

493
00:11:01,183 --> 00:11:02,475
but look what we found.

494
00:11:02,475 --> 00:11:03,475
It's a note.

495
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,350
"I'm hungry for the blood

496
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,350
of a little girl.

497
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:11,433
Signed,

498
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:11,433
the forgotten boy."

499
00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:14,183
- This is terrifying.

500
00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:14,183
- It's getting real.

501
00:11:14,183 --> 00:11:17,558
The scariest thing is that

502
00:11:14,183 --> 00:11:17,558
he spells like a 2-year-old.

503
00:11:17,558 --> 00:11:20,683
Wait, what?

504
00:11:20,683 --> 00:11:23,183
Dude.

505
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,433
Christmas, huh?

506
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,350
Who the hell came up

507
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,350
with this one?

508
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:29,225
It was

509
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:29,225
Emperor Constantine.

510
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:29,225
I love it!

511
00:11:29,225 --> 00:11:32,058
It's not easy being the smartest

512
00:11:29,225 --> 00:11:32,058
person in the room.

513
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,225
My sister thinks quantum theory

514
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,225
is a game show,

515
00:11:34,225 --> 00:11:35,475
and my brother once tried

516
00:11:35,475 --> 00:11:36,975
to take his pants off

517
00:11:35,475 --> 00:11:36,975
over his head.

518
00:11:36,975 --> 00:11:39,558
Gals like us, we see through

519
00:11:36,975 --> 00:11:39,558
all the family B.S.

520
00:11:39,558 --> 00:11:41,600
We call it

521
00:11:39,558 --> 00:11:41,600
like we see it.

522
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,475
So, if we're alone

523
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,475
for Christmas

524
00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:45,891
and birthdays and weekends,

525
00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:45,891
it's their loss.

526
00:11:45,891 --> 00:11:49,141
Gals like us

527
00:11:45,891 --> 00:11:49,141
we don't need anyone.

528
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,475
I'm not big on mysticism,

529
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,475
but, clearly,

530
00:11:51,475 --> 00:11:53,475
this woman was

531
00:11:51,475 --> 00:11:53,475
my ghost of Christmas future.

532
00:11:53,475 --> 00:11:56,016
So, I decided

533
00:11:53,475 --> 00:11:56,016
to turn things around

534
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,475
and jump in

535
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,475
on the holiday spirit.

536
00:11:58,475 --> 00:12:00,391
Jump aboard the fun train!

537
00:12:00,391 --> 00:12:03,350
Whoo, whoo!

538
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:05,266
That was a train.

539
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,891
Something smells good!

540
00:12:06,891 --> 00:12:08,391
What?

541
00:12:06,891 --> 00:12:08,391
What doesn't smell good?

542
00:12:08,391 --> 00:12:10,100
No, I-I said it did.

543
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,058
I am confused!

544
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,058
What is it that you don't like?

545
00:12:12,058 --> 00:12:14,600
I'm just excited for dinner.

546
00:12:12,058 --> 00:12:14,600
I love you guys.

547
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,641
Oh, don't be nasty.

548
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,641
We're trying our best.

549
00:12:16,641 --> 00:12:17,683
Yes!

550
00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:23,225
Hey, look what I found ...

551
00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:23,225
a key to that secret room.

552
00:12:23,225 --> 00:12:24,516
My entire family is here.

553
00:12:24,516 --> 00:12:26,391
Do you have any idea

554
00:12:24,516 --> 00:12:26,391
how dangerous that is?

555
00:12:26,391 --> 00:12:27,725
Meet me in two minutes.

556
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,391
There she is.

557
00:12:31,391 --> 00:12:33,225
Haven't seen you since

558
00:12:31,391 --> 00:12:33,225
my big announcement.

559
00:12:33,225 --> 00:12:34,683
What do you think?

560
00:12:34,683 --> 00:12:36,683
I think that I gave my all

561
00:12:34,683 --> 00:12:36,683
to this company

562
00:12:36,683 --> 00:12:39,100
and that if you were gonna

563
00:12:36,683 --> 00:12:39,100
hand over the reins to somebody,

564
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,975
it should be me

565
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,975
and not some hump from Chicago!

566
00:12:41,975 --> 00:12:43,641
Well, it just so happens ...

567
00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:45,141
I'm not finished, Dad!

568
00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:46,850
Thank you for saving me

569
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,975
from wasting the next 20 years

570
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,975
of my life

571
00:12:48,975 --> 00:12:52,600
talking about slats,

572
00:12:48,975 --> 00:12:52,600
rods, and hinges ...

573
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,308
from becoming

574
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,308
the most boring person

575
00:12:54,308 --> 00:12:56,558
in the most boring industry

576
00:12:54,308 --> 00:12:56,558
on earth!

577
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,016
- "Boring"?

578
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,016
- Boring!

579
00:12:58,016 --> 00:13:01,516
Closets bring order

580
00:12:58,016 --> 00:13:01,516
to a chaotic world!

581
00:13:01,516 --> 00:13:03,475
- What happened?

582
00:13:01,516 --> 00:13:03,475
- I'll tell you what happened.

583
00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:05,141
I raised a mean,

584
00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:05,141
ungrateful daughter,

585
00:13:05,141 --> 00:13:07,183
and I'm glad I gave the business

586
00:13:05,141 --> 00:13:07,183
to Chuck Feeny!

587
00:13:07,183 --> 00:13:09,308
There is no Chuck Feeny!

588
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,600
Manny, Luke, knock it off!

589
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,933
No one thinks it's funny!

590
00:13:24,141 --> 00:13:25,850
- Are you talking to us?

591
00:13:24,141 --> 00:13:25,850
- Huh?

592
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,891
Hey, as long as everybody's

593
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,891
just sitting around, uh ...

594
00:13:31,891 --> 00:13:33,475
Oh, they're gonna

595
00:13:31,891 --> 00:13:33,475
do another one!

596
00:13:33,475 --> 00:13:35,891
Thank you, Santa Claus!

597
00:13:35,891 --> 00:13:37,391
That's hilarious.

598
00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:38,891
Hope you're having fun,

599
00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:38,891
'cause that's about to end.

600
00:13:38,891 --> 00:13:40,600
Okay, stick to the scripted

601
00:13:38,891 --> 00:13:40,600
patter, sweetie.

602
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,141
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

603
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,141
- And a one and a two.

604
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,641
Oh, my God,

605
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,641
what was that?

606
00:13:47,641 --> 00:13:48,891
- Oh, I'm sure it's fine.

607
00:13:47,641 --> 00:13:48,891
- Fine. It's no big deal.

608
00:13:48,891 --> 00:13:50,266
So, Mitchell,

609
00:13:48,891 --> 00:13:50,266
here we go again.

610
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,725
That is your

611
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,725
daughter screaming!

612
00:13:56,225 --> 00:13:57,975
- Lily, are you okay?

613
00:13:56,225 --> 00:13:57,975
- What's going on?

614
00:13:57,975 --> 00:14:00,516
The forgotten boy ...

615
00:13:57,975 --> 00:14:00,516
I heard him! He's in there!

616
00:14:00,516 --> 00:14:02,558
Of course he is.

617
00:14:00,516 --> 00:14:02,558
All right,

618
00:14:00,516 --> 00:14:02,558
let's get him out, huh?

619
00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:05,558
We'll make sure that

620
00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:05,558
he doesn't bother ... Oh, God!

621
00:14:05,558 --> 00:14:08,141
- Oh, God!

622
00:14:08,141 --> 00:14:09,808
Andy?

623
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,683
Take off the blazer.

624
00:14:17,016 --> 00:14:18,933
We were just looking

625
00:14:17,016 --> 00:14:18,933
for dinner napkins.

626
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,016
Where?

627
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,016
In her shirt?

628
00:14:20,016 --> 00:14:21,933
I have

629
00:14:20,016 --> 00:14:21,933
so many questions.

630
00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:23,725
Boys, Lily,

631
00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:23,725
go play where snow would be.

632
00:14:23,725 --> 00:14:25,350
So, is this a thing?

633
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,058
Is it the first time?

634
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,058
- Yes!

635
00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:28,100
- No.

636
00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:28,100
- Andy!

637
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,141
I-I'm sick of the lies.

638
00:14:30,141 --> 00:14:32,266
We've been having

639
00:14:30,141 --> 00:14:32,266
improper relations.

640
00:14:30,141 --> 00:14:32,266
Oh.

641
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:35,016
Aren't you engaged?

642
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:35,016
Oh, suddenly,

643
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:35,016
you're concerned about loyalty.

644
00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:36,600
Oh, you're talking to me.

645
00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:36,600
Won't that bore you?

646
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,808
Apparently, I'm boring!

647
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,808
- Listen, everyone,

648
00:14:38,808 --> 00:14:41,391
let's not let this ruin

649
00:14:38,808 --> 00:14:41,391
our beautiful holiday.

650
00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:43,266
Alex, nobody needs

651
00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:43,266
your sarcasm right now!

652
00:14:43,266 --> 00:14:44,933
It's ugly, honey.

653
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:46,891
This is Andy

654
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:46,891
and Haley's private business.

655
00:14:46,891 --> 00:14:49,683
I think we should be focused

656
00:14:46,891 --> 00:14:49,683
on this special night.

657
00:14:49,683 --> 00:14:51,600
This special

658
00:14:49,683 --> 00:14:51,600
silent night.

659
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,016
- One and a two.

660
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,016
- No.

661
00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:57,975
Guys, I have a surprise!

662
00:14:57,975 --> 00:15:00,600
It's Beth!

663
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,975
Oh, my God.

664
00:15:01,975 --> 00:15:04,350
This is one

665
00:15:01,975 --> 00:15:04,350
of my Christmas surprises.

666
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:07,475
Andy, you can spend Christmas

667
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:07,475
with your fiancée after all!

668
00:15:07,475 --> 00:15:10,141
- Mmm, hi, fiddle-faddle!

669
00:15:07,475 --> 00:15:10,141
- Hey, pumpkin!

670
00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:12,516
Beth, you mind if I have

671
00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:12,516
a quick chitchat with your man?

672
00:15:12,516 --> 00:15:14,183
Yeah, I'll give Beth

673
00:15:12,516 --> 00:15:14,183
a tour of the house

674
00:15:14,183 --> 00:15:15,850
while we get Gloria

675
00:15:14,183 --> 00:15:15,850
up to speed.

676
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,266
Don't you just love

677
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,266
the holidays?

678
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,266
Yeah.

679
00:15:17,266 --> 00:15:20,141
Full of wonder and magic

680
00:15:17,266 --> 00:15:20,141
and surprise and ...

681
00:15:20,141 --> 00:15:21,600
What?

682
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,308
Sit.

683
00:15:23,308 --> 00:15:24,475
Mr. Dunphy, I am s...

684
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:26,183
It's not your turn

685
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:26,183
to talk.

686
00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:28,433
That's my daughter, and you're

687
00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:28,433
engaged to someone else.

688
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:30,183
If this is a fling, it's over.

689
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:30,183
You understand me?

690
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:33,475
But if this is something real,

691
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:33,475
you need to be honest with Beth.

692
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,433
It's time to step up

693
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,433
and be a man.

694
00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:36,766
I understand.

695
00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:37,808
Let me tell you something.

696
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,350
Life is like

697
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,350
a mountain road

698
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,391
with a new adventure

699
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,391
around every corner.

700
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:44,558
- Wow.

701
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:44,558
- Right?

702
00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:47,391
- Did you just think of that?

703
00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:47,391
- I did.

704
00:15:47,391 --> 00:15:49,391
(Beethoven's

705
00:15:47,391 --> 00:15:49,391
"Moonlight Sonata" plays)

706
00:16:00,641 --> 00:16:02,225
Seems tense.

707
00:16:03,975 --> 00:16:06,600
Your big sis

708
00:16:03,975 --> 00:16:06,600
is kind of a disaster, huh?

709
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,850
Fig, we are a lot alike,

710
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,850
like you said.

711
00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:12,433
And sometimes

712
00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:12,433
we can give off

713
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,558
a negative vibe

714
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,558
without meaning to.

715
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:18,391
What's your point?

716
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:18,391
Well, I was thinking

717
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:18,391
maybe we could make more

718
00:16:18,391 --> 00:16:22,933
of an effort to be more positive

719
00:16:18,391 --> 00:16:22,933
and actually enjoy Christmas.

720
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:23,891
As a goof?

721
00:16:25,225 --> 00:16:27,225
Okay, all right, new plan.

722
00:16:27,225 --> 00:16:30,475
We wait until the whole

723
00:16:27,225 --> 00:16:30,475
Haley/Andy thing blows over.

724
00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:32,766
Everyone gets

725
00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:32,766
a little liquored up.

726
00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:32,766
Other people.

727
00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:35,850
And then, right before dessert,

728
00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:35,850
you sit down at the piano.

729
00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:37,391
- Shh!

730
00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:37,391
- You ...

731
00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:39,391
What the hell is that?

732
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,516
- Son of a bitch!

733
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,516
- Mother...

734
00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:13,100
That's it.

735
00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:13,100
I'm drinking.

736
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,725
- Wow.

737
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,725
- Aww.

738
00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:26,350
That's got to hurt!

739
00:17:31,475 --> 00:17:32,933
Hey, zucchini blossom!

740
00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:34,641
Hey, popcorn shrimp,

741
00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:34,641
listen.

742
00:17:34,641 --> 00:17:37,725
Something is going on,

743
00:17:34,641 --> 00:17:37,725
and...

744
00:17:37,725 --> 00:17:41,141
as painful as it may be,

745
00:17:37,725 --> 00:17:41,141
I think we should talk about it.

746
00:17:42,391 --> 00:17:44,475
You could always

747
00:17:42,391 --> 00:17:44,475
see through me.

748
00:17:44,475 --> 00:17:47,016
- What now?

749
00:17:44,475 --> 00:17:47,016
- Yes, I met someone.

750
00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:49,433
I've been dating him for

751
00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:49,433
a few months behind your back.

752
00:17:50,725 --> 00:17:52,308
And I'm actually

753
00:17:50,725 --> 00:17:52,308
cheating on him, too.

754
00:17:52,308 --> 00:17:53,516
You mean with me?

755
00:17:53,516 --> 00:17:54,891
No!

756
00:17:54,891 --> 00:17:56,475
No.

757
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,183
Oh.

758
00:17:58,183 --> 00:18:00,016
Popcorn shrimp.

759
00:18:01,516 --> 00:18:03,350
Well, slight change of plans.

760
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,808
I'm gonna be going.

761
00:18:04,808 --> 00:18:06,683
Merry Christmas, everyone.

762
00:18:06,683 --> 00:18:08,100
Bye, Beth!

763
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,891
Drive safe!

764
00:18:09,891 --> 00:18:11,058
Keep in touch!

765
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:12,641
I don't see us

766
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:12,641
keeping in touch.

767
00:18:12,641 --> 00:18:14,766
Hey,

768
00:18:12,641 --> 00:18:14,766
you broke up with Beth?

769
00:18:14,766 --> 00:18:16,975
She cheated on me.

770
00:18:14,766 --> 00:18:16,975
I can't believe it.

771
00:18:16,975 --> 00:18:19,350
- Wait, you're upset?

772
00:18:16,975 --> 00:18:19,350
- Of course I'm upset.

773
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:20,600
We dated for 10 years.

774
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,433
I just got stabbed

775
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,433
in the back.

776
00:18:22,433 --> 00:18:24,641
- Welcome to the club.

777
00:18:22,433 --> 00:18:24,641
- Really?

778
00:18:24,641 --> 00:18:26,058
You were stabbed

779
00:18:24,641 --> 00:18:26,058
in the back?

780
00:18:26,058 --> 00:18:28,766
A daughter mocking

781
00:18:26,058 --> 00:18:28,766
her father's life.

782
00:18:28,766 --> 00:18:31,558
Closets aren't fascinating?

783
00:18:28,766 --> 00:18:31,558
Since when?

784
00:18:31,558 --> 00:18:33,350
Want to talk about betrayal?

785
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,391
How about when

786
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,391
somebody steals a song

787
00:18:35,391 --> 00:18:37,558
and takes it

788
00:18:35,391 --> 00:18:37,558
for themselveses?

789
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:39,891
I had no idea that you guys

790
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:39,891
were gonna sing that song.

791
00:18:39,891 --> 00:18:41,641
I did.

792
00:18:39,891 --> 00:18:41,641
I heard them rehearsing.

793
00:18:41,641 --> 00:18:44,016
I thought there was an animal

794
00:18:41,641 --> 00:18:44,016
stuck in the wall.

795
00:18:44,016 --> 00:18:46,225
And to think we invited you

796
00:18:44,016 --> 00:18:46,225
into our home.

797
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,891
We should've left you

798
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,891
out in the warm.

799
00:18:47,891 --> 00:18:49,808
I get that you're upset,

800
00:18:47,891 --> 00:18:49,808
but remember,

801
00:18:49,808 --> 00:18:51,391
I even liked you

802
00:18:49,808 --> 00:18:51,391
when you were fat.

803
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,100
They give out awards

804
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,100
to people like me!

805
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,766
I gave up

806
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,766
a three-day trip to Cabo

807
00:18:55,766 --> 00:18:57,600
to close

808
00:18:55,766 --> 00:18:57,600
that Best Western deal.

809
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,475
That's right.

810
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,475
You owe her 25 margaritas!

811
00:19:00,475 --> 00:19:01,975
- Phil!

812
00:19:00,475 --> 00:19:01,975
- 21!

813
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,225
- 21!

814
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,225
- Enough, enough, enough!

815
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:06,100
All I wanted

816
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:06,100
was a white Christmas,

817
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,058
and instead,

818
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,058
I'm back in Colombia ...

819
00:19:08,058 --> 00:19:12,100
the heat, the betrayal,

820
00:19:08,058 --> 00:19:12,100
people stealing songs!

821
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,225
This ends now!

822
00:19:14,225 --> 00:19:18,308
Andy, stop whining and be

823
00:19:14,225 --> 00:19:18,308
grateful that Haley likes you!

824
00:19:18,308 --> 00:19:21,766
She's a stone-cold 10,

825
00:19:18,308 --> 00:19:21,766
and you're a Utah 7!

826
00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:26,225
Jay, it's time for you

827
00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:26,225
and Claire to kiss and make up!

828
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,975
Why doesn't he

829
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,975
kiss Chuck Feeny?

830
00:19:27,975 --> 00:19:29,683
Because there's

831
00:19:27,975 --> 00:19:29,683
no Chuck Feeny!

832
00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:31,808
He made it up to test you!

833
00:19:31,808 --> 00:19:34,933
And if she didn't care,

834
00:19:31,808 --> 00:19:34,933
she wouldn't be this upset!

835
00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:36,933
There is no

836
00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:36,933
Chuck Feeny?

837
00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:40,475
It was a dumb idea, but I saw

838
00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:40,475
what happened to Don McSorley!

839
00:19:40,475 --> 00:19:42,141
The crackerjack

840
00:19:40,475 --> 00:19:42,141
blinds guy.

841
00:19:42,141 --> 00:19:43,891
You got his whole company

842
00:19:42,141 --> 00:19:43,891
for 8 cents on the dollar.

843
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,850
I bought his photocopier

844
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,850
for 7 bucks.

845
00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:48,391
I always hoped

846
00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:48,391
you'd take over the company.

847
00:19:48,391 --> 00:19:50,100
There's no one I trust

848
00:19:48,391 --> 00:19:50,100
more than you.

849
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,100
I just had to know

850
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,100
that you really wanted it!

851
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:55,308
That I wanted to run a company

852
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:55,308
that gives people a place

853
00:19:55,308 --> 00:19:57,600
to store not only their jeans,

854
00:19:55,308 --> 00:19:57,600
but their dreams?

855
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,141
- Yes!

856
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,141
- Here.

857
00:19:59,141 --> 00:20:03,766
I got you a little

858
00:19:59,141 --> 00:20:03,766
early Christmas present.

859
00:20:03,766 --> 00:20:06,016
"Claire Dunphy, C.E.O."

860
00:20:06,016 --> 00:20:07,058
- Oh, you!

861
00:20:06,016 --> 00:20:07,058
- What?

862
00:20:07,058 --> 00:20:08,808
Oh!

863
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,600
- That's more like it!

864
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,475
Who cares

865
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,475
what the weather is?

866
00:20:12,475 --> 00:20:15,308
What is important is

867
00:20:12,475 --> 00:20:15,308
that we have each other!

868
00:20:15,308 --> 00:20:17,308
Snow!

869
00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:20,641
Good King Wenceslas,

870
00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:20,641
there is snow!

871
00:20:22,766 --> 00:20:25,516
I told you everything

872
00:20:22,766 --> 00:20:25,516
was going to work out.

873
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,016
It's a perfect Christmas.

874
00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:31,933
- What are we looking at?

875
00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:31,933
- Snow!

876
00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:34,350
Our miracle

877
00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:34,350
for Christmas.

878
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:35,516
That's not snow.

879
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,725
That's ashes

880
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,725
from a forest fire.

881
00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:39,475
If you're quiet,

882
00:20:37,725 --> 00:20:39,475
you can hear screaming.

883
00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:47,850
Phil, did you look

884
00:20:46,016 --> 00:20:47,850
in all the drawers?

885
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,516
Yep, and under the bed.

886
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,516
Got everything.

887
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:52,683
- Bye, Gloria. Thank you.

888
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:52,683
- Bye.

889
00:20:52,683 --> 00:20:54,808
Jay, don't forget

890
00:20:52,683 --> 00:20:54,808
Joe's new doll.

891
00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:58,016
Mitch and Cam ...

892
00:20:54,808 --> 00:20:58,016
always pushing their agenda.

893
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,141
Bye-bye, house!

894
00:21:02,141 --> 00:21:04,641
We will miss you!

895
00:21:14,475 --> 00:21:16,225
Hello?

896
00:21:16,225 --> 00:21:17,475
Hello?

897
00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:19,183
I-It's me ... Luke!

898
00:21:21,225 --> 00:21:23,350
I think

899
00:21:21,225 --> 00:21:23,350
I locked myself in here!

900
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,933
Uh, I don't think

901
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,933
I'm alone in here!

902
00:21:32,016 --> 00:21:34,766
Captions by VITAC :