1 00:00:03,930 --> 00:00:05,346 Good morning, 2 00:00:03,930 --> 00:00:05,346 Madam President. 3 00:00:05,346 --> 00:00:07,638 May I introduce you 4 00:00:05,346 --> 00:00:07,638 to the ambassador of java? 5 00:00:07,638 --> 00:00:08,971 Oh, thank you. 6 00:00:08,971 --> 00:00:11,346 Because, after all, 7 00:00:08,971 --> 00:00:11,346 what is a travel mug 8 00:00:11,346 --> 00:00:13,388 but a closet 9 00:00:11,346 --> 00:00:13,388 for your coffee? 10 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,180 And boom, 11 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,180 our next promotional giveaway. 12 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,680 - Wow. 13 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,680 - Mm-hmm. 14 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,346 Throw on a black turtleneck 15 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,346 and some mom jeans, 16 00:00:19,346 --> 00:00:21,138 it's like I'm married 17 00:00:19,346 --> 00:00:21,138 to Steve Jobs. 18 00:00:21,138 --> 00:00:22,763 I did hear you 19 00:00:21,138 --> 00:00:22,763 banging out e-mails 20 00:00:22,763 --> 00:00:24,305 till all hours 21 00:00:22,763 --> 00:00:24,305 last night, 22 00:00:24,305 --> 00:00:26,346 so the cucumbers in the sandwich 23 00:00:24,305 --> 00:00:26,346 can be repurposed 24 00:00:26,346 --> 00:00:28,138 as lunchtime 25 00:00:26,346 --> 00:00:28,138 crow's-feet refreshers. 26 00:00:28,138 --> 00:00:30,555 Thank you. Don't forget 27 00:00:28,138 --> 00:00:30,555 we've got drinks later. 28 00:00:30,555 --> 00:00:33,138 Right. Any specific joke areas 29 00:00:30,555 --> 00:00:33,138 I should stay away from? 30 00:00:33,138 --> 00:00:34,680 Oh, no, 31 00:00:33,138 --> 00:00:34,680 don't worry about it. 32 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,930 It's mostly just me and the guys 33 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,930 talking business. 34 00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:39,221 Hey, you using 35 00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:39,221 those spin classes I got you? 36 00:00:39,221 --> 00:00:41,596 Yeah. I went twice last week. 37 00:00:39,221 --> 00:00:41,596 You can't tell? 38 00:00:41,596 --> 00:00:43,555 Sure I can. 39 00:00:43,555 --> 00:00:46,055 The best part about taking over 40 00:00:43,555 --> 00:00:46,055 my dad's company ... 41 00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:51,180 I am now a powerful white male, 42 00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:51,180 and I love it. 43 00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:52,846 I totally get now 44 00:00:52,846 --> 00:00:55,096 why we don't want anyone else 45 00:00:52,846 --> 00:00:55,096 to have what we have. 46 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:57,805 Honey, before I take off 47 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:57,805 for work, 48 00:00:57,805 --> 00:01:02,305 I saw this 49 00:00:57,805 --> 00:01:02,305 and I thought of you. 50 00:01:02,305 --> 00:01:04,180 What is it? 51 00:01:04,180 --> 00:01:06,721 It's a key? 52 00:01:04,180 --> 00:01:06,721 Yeah, it is. 53 00:01:06,721 --> 00:01:08,096 It is a key... 54 00:01:08,096 --> 00:01:12,680 but a key to what? 55 00:01:15,388 --> 00:01:16,596 No! 56 00:01:16,596 --> 00:01:17,930 No! 57 00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:19,888 You got me 58 00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:19,888 a PhunkeeDuck? 59 00:01:19,888 --> 00:01:22,638 No more walking for my man. 60 00:01:19,888 --> 00:01:22,638 Walking's for jerks. 61 00:01:22,638 --> 00:01:25,513 Oh, my God! 62 00:01:22,638 --> 00:01:25,513 That is the best gift ever! 63 00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:28,430 I don't know where it stops 64 00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:28,430 and I begin! 65 00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:44,888 Where is it? 66 00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:44,888 Where is it? 67 00:01:44,888 --> 00:01:46,805 You know, these cheese cubes 68 00:01:44,888 --> 00:01:46,805 keep getting smaller every week. 69 00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:49,680 I should start saving these 70 00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:49,680 to prove my point. 71 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:50,930 Wow, am I retired. 72 00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:52,930 It's there! 73 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:54,263 It's beautiful! 74 00:01:54,263 --> 00:01:55,888 A little revealing. 75 00:01:55,888 --> 00:01:58,388 I mean, I get using sex 76 00:01:55,888 --> 00:01:58,388 to sell your hot sauce. 77 00:01:58,388 --> 00:02:01,138 That's why I wore Jordache jeans 78 00:01:58,388 --> 00:02:01,138 in my old closet ads. 79 00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:02,888 But a little much, 80 00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:02,888 isn't it? 81 00:02:02,888 --> 00:02:04,263 It's obviously working. 82 00:02:04,263 --> 00:02:06,305 The store said 83 00:02:04,263 --> 00:02:06,305 that they put out 84 00:02:06,305 --> 00:02:09,888 100 bottles of my sauce, 85 00:02:06,305 --> 00:02:09,888 and half of them are gone! 86 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:12,388 Oh, my. 87 00:02:12,388 --> 00:02:14,055 Auntie Alice! 88 00:02:14,055 --> 00:02:15,888 She's a hot-sauce legend. 89 00:02:15,888 --> 00:02:17,555 Her Level Three Sauce 90 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:20,346 has a picture 91 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:20,346 of a rooster exploding. 92 00:02:20,346 --> 00:02:21,763 I have to go meet her. 93 00:02:21,763 --> 00:02:24,930 Hey, guys, take a pic. 94 00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:27,805 Hey, get out of here! 95 00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:27,805 That's my wife! 96 00:02:27,805 --> 00:02:29,680 I am a huge fan. 97 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,888 I have read your life story 98 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,888 on your label a thousand times. 99 00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:37,138 Is it true that your father 100 00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:37,138 crashed his pepper truck 101 00:02:37,138 --> 00:02:39,888 into a papaya tree 102 00:02:37,138 --> 00:02:39,888 and the legend was born? 103 00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:42,638 You're asking me 104 00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:42,638 if something's real? 105 00:02:42,638 --> 00:02:46,221 I can't believe that 106 00:02:42,638 --> 00:02:46,221 that cutout's an actual person. 107 00:02:47,555 --> 00:02:49,013 Oh, yeah. 108 00:02:49,888 --> 00:02:50,846 Miles? 109 00:02:50,846 --> 00:02:52,221 Oh, hey, Jay. 110 00:02:52,221 --> 00:02:54,971 Uh, trying to read 111 00:02:52,221 --> 00:02:54,971 a text. 112 00:02:54,971 --> 00:02:56,596 They keep the lights 113 00:02:54,971 --> 00:02:56,596 in here so low 114 00:02:56,596 --> 00:02:58,471 so they don't have to rotate 115 00:02:56,596 --> 00:02:58,471 the produce. 116 00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,555 Don't give me that. 117 00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,555 I'm sorry, man. 118 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,513 I've been lonely 119 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,513 since Reynetta left. 120 00:03:02,513 --> 00:03:04,055 You're a deacon. 121 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:06,596 Honey, foot rub. 122 00:03:06,596 --> 00:03:07,888 Pass. 123 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,430 - Okay, there it is again! 124 00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:13,555 I'm telling you, something weird 125 00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:13,555 is going on up there. 126 00:03:13,555 --> 00:03:16,555 We're renting our upstairs unit 127 00:03:13,555 --> 00:03:16,555 to earn a little extra cash 128 00:03:16,555 --> 00:03:19,055 and add a little extra tension 129 00:03:16,555 --> 00:03:19,055 to our marriage. 130 00:03:19,055 --> 00:03:21,138 Our current guests 131 00:03:19,055 --> 00:03:21,138 registered 132 00:03:21,138 --> 00:03:23,596 as Mr. And Mrs. Wilkerson 133 00:03:21,138 --> 00:03:23,596 and Tommy. 134 00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:27,221 I was expecting a nice young 135 00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:27,221 couple and their little boy. 136 00:03:29,055 --> 00:03:30,596 Oh. Hello. You ... 137 00:03:30,596 --> 00:03:34,346 So, you ... You must be 138 00:03:30,596 --> 00:03:34,346 Mr. And Mrs. Wilkerson? 139 00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:35,805 - That's right. 140 00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:35,805 - So you're Tommy? 141 00:03:35,805 --> 00:03:36,763 He is. 142 00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:38,221 Welcome. 143 00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:40,388 Cam, let's help them 144 00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:40,388 with their trunk. 145 00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:40,388 No! 146 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:44,346 No? Okay, well, 147 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:44,346 uh, here is the key. 148 00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:45,971 - Here you are. 149 00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:45,971 - Thank you. 150 00:03:45,971 --> 00:03:46,888 Tommy? 151 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,555 Okay, what is that 152 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,555 all about? 153 00:03:51,555 --> 00:03:52,888 I mean, three adults? 154 00:03:52,888 --> 00:03:54,971 Why doesn't Tommy 155 00:03:52,888 --> 00:03:54,971 have a last name? 156 00:03:54,971 --> 00:03:57,096 Why doesn't Tommy talk? 157 00:03:54,971 --> 00:03:57,096 Is he their captive? 158 00:03:57,096 --> 00:03:58,763 Is Mrs. Wilkerson 159 00:03:57,096 --> 00:03:58,763 their captive? 160 00:03:58,763 --> 00:04:00,221 Is the captive 161 00:03:58,763 --> 00:04:00,221 in the trunk? 162 00:04:00,221 --> 00:04:01,721 So there has to be 163 00:04:00,221 --> 00:04:01,721 a captive? 164 00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,680 Lately, we've been getting 165 00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,680 negative reviews 166 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,346 - from some of our renters. 167 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,346 - Say it. 168 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,388 And they tend to follow 169 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,388 the common theme 170 00:04:07,388 --> 00:04:10,055 that the "bigger one" 171 00:04:07,388 --> 00:04:10,055 is "nosy." 172 00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:12,846 While others say 173 00:04:10,055 --> 00:04:12,846 the "orange fella" 174 00:04:12,846 --> 00:04:15,096 is "standoffish 175 00:04:12,846 --> 00:04:15,096 and cold." 176 00:04:15,096 --> 00:04:16,263 Who says that? 177 00:04:16,263 --> 00:04:18,513 I'm saying it now. 178 00:04:16,263 --> 00:04:18,513 Oh. 179 00:04:19,763 --> 00:04:21,638 Okay, we need to find out 180 00:04:19,763 --> 00:04:21,638 what that is. 181 00:04:21,638 --> 00:04:23,346 Cam, stay out of their business, 182 00:04:21,638 --> 00:04:23,346 all right? 183 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,263 If we drop below three stars, 184 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,263 we're gonna be stuck renting 185 00:04:25,263 --> 00:04:27,221 to chain smokers 186 00:04:25,263 --> 00:04:27,221 and pregnant foreigners 187 00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:29,138 trying to have their babies 188 00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:29,138 in America. 189 00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:31,221 Mark down the time. 190 00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:31,221 I just turned into my father. 191 00:04:31,221 --> 00:04:32,388 I'm going up. 192 00:04:32,388 --> 00:04:33,638 Cam... 193 00:04:34,638 --> 00:04:36,763 Cam, 194 00:04:34,638 --> 00:04:36,763 what are you doing? 195 00:04:36,763 --> 00:04:38,805 I am checking 196 00:04:36,763 --> 00:04:38,805 on our guests. 197 00:04:38,805 --> 00:04:40,888 Hello! 198 00:04:38,805 --> 00:04:40,888 Oh, all three of you. 199 00:04:40,888 --> 00:04:43,013 Uh, just stopped by to see 200 00:04:40,888 --> 00:04:43,013 if you guys need 201 00:04:43,013 --> 00:04:44,388 some fresh ... 202 00:04:43,013 --> 00:04:44,388 fresh towels. 203 00:04:44,388 --> 00:04:46,263 We're fine. 204 00:04:44,388 --> 00:04:46,263 Thank you. 205 00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:49,096 Uh, yes, you were 206 00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:49,096 gonna say something? 207 00:04:49,096 --> 00:04:50,513 You saw that, right? 208 00:04:50,513 --> 00:04:52,596 Mrs. Wilkerson was giving me 209 00:04:50,513 --> 00:04:52,596 the distress signal. 210 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,096 She was like... 211 00:04:54,096 --> 00:04:55,180 Come on. 212 00:04:56,555 --> 00:04:57,638 Cam! 213 00:04:57,638 --> 00:04:59,180 Us again. 214 00:04:57,638 --> 00:04:59,180 Just triple-checking 215 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:00,846 to see if you need 216 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:00,846 some hand soap, 217 00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:03,013 a chance to talk to one of us 218 00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:03,013 alone, some muffins. 219 00:05:03,013 --> 00:05:05,388 Really, we're fine. 220 00:05:03,013 --> 00:05:05,388 You don't have to keep checking. 221 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,555 Help! 222 00:05:08,013 --> 00:05:09,388 She did not say "help." 223 00:05:09,388 --> 00:05:10,846 So you did hear it. 224 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:16,013 Hey, Delgado, thank your mom 225 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:16,013 for my new screen saver. 226 00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:17,180 Will do, Parker. 227 00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:18,763 And speaking 228 00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:18,763 of two-dimensional women 229 00:05:18,763 --> 00:05:20,555 who know a thing or two 230 00:05:18,763 --> 00:05:20,555 about sauce, 231 00:05:20,555 --> 00:05:22,930 stop by Flanagan's and say hi 232 00:05:20,555 --> 00:05:22,930 to your mom for me. 233 00:05:25,846 --> 00:05:28,055 I know you were bothered 234 00:05:25,846 --> 00:05:28,055 by that cutout. 235 00:05:28,055 --> 00:05:29,846 But every teenager 236 00:05:28,055 --> 00:05:29,846 gets teased, 237 00:05:29,846 --> 00:05:31,846 and you have to rise 238 00:05:29,846 --> 00:05:31,846 above it, so ... 239 00:05:31,846 --> 00:05:33,971 - Your mother's in the trunk. 240 00:05:31,846 --> 00:05:33,971 - What? 241 00:05:33,971 --> 00:05:35,805 I couldn't stand the ogling 242 00:05:33,971 --> 00:05:35,805 and the selfies, 243 00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:37,180 so I stole it ... 244 00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:37,180 for both our sakes. 245 00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,263 We're in this together. 246 00:05:38,263 --> 00:05:39,513 How? 247 00:05:38,263 --> 00:05:39,513 I didn't steal it. 248 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,221 Oh, I see 249 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,221 where this is going. 250 00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:43,721 You complain and complain, 251 00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:43,721 I make the problem go away, 252 00:05:43,721 --> 00:05:45,596 and you had nothing 253 00:05:43,721 --> 00:05:45,596 to do with it. 254 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,805 I didn't ask for this. 255 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,805 I didn't ask for any of this. 256 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,971 Let's not turn on each other. 257 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,971 It'll make us sloppy. 258 00:05:49,971 --> 00:05:52,305 I need your help 259 00:05:49,971 --> 00:05:52,305 to get rid of it. 260 00:05:52,305 --> 00:05:54,388 God knows 261 00:05:52,305 --> 00:05:54,388 I've already tried. 262 00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,680 Son of a... 263 00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:13,013 Son of a... 264 00:06:13,013 --> 00:06:15,888 A lot of cool storage solutions 265 00:06:13,013 --> 00:06:15,888 coming out of Asia, huh? 266 00:06:15,888 --> 00:06:17,305 Yeah, there really are. 267 00:06:17,305 --> 00:06:19,513 But I think you might be 268 00:06:17,305 --> 00:06:19,513 even more interested 269 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,638 in what's been coming 270 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,638 out of Cuba. 271 00:06:20,638 --> 00:06:21,888 Hey-o! 272 00:06:21,888 --> 00:06:24,388 - Is she the best or what? 273 00:06:24,388 --> 00:06:25,346 Shall we, hmm? 274 00:06:25,346 --> 00:06:26,513 - Let's do it. 275 00:06:25,346 --> 00:06:26,513 - Mm-hmm. 276 00:06:26,513 --> 00:06:27,805 You know what, honey? 277 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,513 We are just gonna talk 278 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,513 about work. 279 00:06:29,513 --> 00:06:31,721 Why don't you stay 280 00:06:29,513 --> 00:06:31,721 and have another drink, huh? 281 00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:33,638 Oh. Well, you don't 282 00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:33,638 have to twist my arm. 283 00:06:33,638 --> 00:06:35,971 What do you say, ladies? 284 00:06:33,638 --> 00:06:35,971 Another round of Sapphire Sins? 285 00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:37,180 Ooh, yes, please. 286 00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,263 Phil, you are 287 00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,263 just so much fun. 288 00:06:39,263 --> 00:06:41,013 Thank you. 289 00:06:41,013 --> 00:06:43,180 Oh, it is so nice to hear those 290 00:06:41,013 --> 00:06:43,180 words come out of a man's mouth. 291 00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:44,513 Tell me about it. 292 00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:45,971 Ever since Kyle 293 00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:45,971 got that promotion, 294 00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:47,471 he barely acknowledges me. 295 00:06:47,471 --> 00:06:49,763 Come on, now, I'm sure 296 00:06:47,471 --> 00:06:49,763 he knows how lucky he is. 297 00:06:49,763 --> 00:06:51,638 You have the twins, 298 00:06:49,763 --> 00:06:51,638 a spotless house, 299 00:06:51,638 --> 00:06:53,096 killer yoga arms. 300 00:06:53,096 --> 00:06:54,346 Aw. 301 00:06:54,346 --> 00:06:55,596 Unh-unh. 302 00:06:54,346 --> 00:06:55,596 This happens all the time ... 303 00:06:55,596 --> 00:06:57,096 They get on their track 304 00:06:55,596 --> 00:06:57,096 to success, 305 00:06:57,096 --> 00:06:59,138 and you become 306 00:06:57,096 --> 00:06:59,138 the invisible housewife. 307 00:06:59,138 --> 00:07:01,305 I don't know about 308 00:06:59,138 --> 00:07:01,305 all the time. 309 00:07:01,305 --> 00:07:03,013 Sitting with all those gals, 310 00:07:01,305 --> 00:07:03,013 I thought, 311 00:07:03,013 --> 00:07:05,555 "Wow, this is an insane 312 00:07:03,013 --> 00:07:05,555 amount of perfume. 313 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,013 And also, am I on my way 314 00:07:07,013 --> 00:07:09,263 to becoming 315 00:07:07,013 --> 00:07:09,263 an invisible housewife?" 316 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,263 No way. 317 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,263 There'd be signs, right? 318 00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:15,388 Hey, stranger. 319 00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:15,388 Been keeping dinner warm for ya. 320 00:07:15,388 --> 00:07:17,263 Oh, that's nice. 321 00:07:15,388 --> 00:07:17,263 I had a steak at the club. 322 00:07:17,263 --> 00:07:18,971 But I wouldn't knock a Scotch 323 00:07:17,263 --> 00:07:18,971 out of your hands. 324 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:20,180 Sure thing. 325 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,430 Hey, 326 00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,430 is now an okay time 327 00:07:21,430 --> 00:07:22,763 to go over 328 00:07:21,430 --> 00:07:22,763 this list of house stuff? 329 00:07:22,763 --> 00:07:24,430 Mm-hmm. 330 00:07:22,763 --> 00:07:24,430 Let's see. 331 00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:27,805 Don't care, don't care, 332 00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:27,805 call a guy, don't care. 333 00:07:27,805 --> 00:07:30,638 Guess who got the big listing 334 00:07:27,805 --> 00:07:30,638 on Westmount today. 335 00:07:30,638 --> 00:07:32,888 Oh, that's great, sweetie. 336 00:07:30,638 --> 00:07:32,888 It'll keep you busy. 337 00:07:34,846 --> 00:07:36,513 - Is that a new bracelet? 338 00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:37,971 Oh, yes, it is. 339 00:07:37,971 --> 00:07:39,888 Jim bought it for me 340 00:07:37,971 --> 00:07:39,888 after our last big fight. 341 00:07:39,888 --> 00:07:42,596 I was on him about taking 342 00:07:39,888 --> 00:07:42,596 all those business trips. 343 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,346 That's what they do. 344 00:07:44,346 --> 00:07:46,680 Throw some new piece of jewelry 345 00:07:44,346 --> 00:07:46,680 at you to keep you happy. 346 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,346 Mm-hmm. 347 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,346 Not that I'm complaining. 348 00:07:48,346 --> 00:07:49,846 - Ooh, hello. 349 00:07:48,346 --> 00:07:49,846 - Oh. 350 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,263 Right? 351 00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:01,180 Oh, good, 352 00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:01,180 Mom's car is gone. 353 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,638 All right. 354 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,638 My hand saw is in the garage. 355 00:08:02,638 --> 00:08:03,763 You'll hold her down, 356 00:08:02,638 --> 00:08:03,763 I'll cut the head off ... 357 00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:05,388 - Jay! 358 00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:05,388 - Oh! 359 00:08:05,388 --> 00:08:06,638 My car got a flat tire, 360 00:08:05,388 --> 00:08:06,638 so it got towed. 361 00:08:06,638 --> 00:08:08,055 I need a ride to Phil's. 362 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,721 He's helping me finish 363 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,721 my sauce website. 364 00:08:09,721 --> 00:08:11,680 Manny, baby, 365 00:08:09,721 --> 00:08:11,680 why are you crying? 366 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:12,930 I'm not. 367 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,680 Ooh, I got another e-mail 368 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,680 from the store. 369 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,638 I bet you 370 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,638 that I sold another ... 371 00:08:19,638 --> 00:08:21,930 What the hell? 372 00:08:19,638 --> 00:08:21,930 Somebody stole my cutout. 373 00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:24,555 Stolen? Damn it! 374 00:08:24,555 --> 00:08:26,305 Well, there's no point 375 00:08:24,555 --> 00:08:26,305 in replacing it 376 00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:28,221 because it's just gonna 377 00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:28,221 get stolen again. 378 00:08:28,221 --> 00:08:29,388 Oh, I can't replace it. 379 00:08:29,388 --> 00:08:30,805 It took two weeks 380 00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:33,096 just to get the mechanical arm 381 00:08:30,805 --> 00:08:33,096 working right. 382 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,846 Oh, wait till 383 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,846 I catch this rat. 384 00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:36,763 I'm going to make him regret 385 00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:36,763 that he was ever... 386 00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:39,596 Ay, Jay, 387 00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:39,596 turn the heater on. 388 00:08:39,596 --> 00:08:41,596 I can hear Manny's 389 00:08:39,596 --> 00:08:41,596 teeth chattering. 390 00:08:42,846 --> 00:08:44,513 What is that noise? 391 00:08:44,513 --> 00:08:45,846 I don't hear anything. 392 00:08:47,513 --> 00:08:49,430 What is 393 00:08:47,513 --> 00:08:49,430 that thumping noise? 394 00:08:49,430 --> 00:08:51,680 Manny, go check the trunk. 395 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,513 Uh, I don't really feel like 396 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,513 getting my hands dirty, Jay. 397 00:08:54,513 --> 00:08:56,763 Your hands are plenty dirty 398 00:08:54,513 --> 00:08:56,763 already, buddy boy. 399 00:08:56,763 --> 00:08:58,096 Go deal with it. 400 00:08:58,096 --> 00:09:01,013 I am going to find 401 00:08:58,096 --> 00:09:01,013 who did this, Jay, 402 00:09:01,013 --> 00:09:03,846 and I'm going 403 00:09:01,013 --> 00:09:03,846 to make him hurt. 404 00:09:03,846 --> 00:09:06,430 Every thief 405 00:09:03,846 --> 00:09:06,430 makes a mistake. 406 00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:08,721 Gloria, you're letting this 407 00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:08,721 get to you. 408 00:09:08,721 --> 00:09:10,721 You know what always 409 00:09:08,721 --> 00:09:10,721 calms you down? 410 00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:11,971 Joe's little duck song. 411 00:09:11,971 --> 00:09:14,013 Now, let's ... 412 00:09:11,971 --> 00:09:14,013 Let's get that going. 413 00:09:14,013 --> 00:09:16,138 I hate him. 414 00:09:21,721 --> 00:09:23,513 I want blood! 415 00:09:34,846 --> 00:09:37,221 This grainy security footage 416 00:09:34,846 --> 00:09:37,221 is all the store sent? 417 00:09:37,221 --> 00:09:38,596 Mm-hmm. 418 00:09:38,596 --> 00:09:41,180 I feel like 419 00:09:38,596 --> 00:09:41,180 I know him, Phil. 420 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,138 Whoever it is, it looks like 421 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,138 they want to get caught. 422 00:09:43,138 --> 00:09:44,763 He keeps going back 423 00:09:43,138 --> 00:09:44,763 for the cheese cubes. 424 00:09:44,763 --> 00:09:46,305 I can't 425 00:09:44,763 --> 00:09:46,305 watch this anymore. 426 00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:48,430 Let's just work 427 00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:48,430 on my website, okay? 428 00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:48,430 Sure. 429 00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:51,013 Phil, I'm late for an 430 00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:51,013 appointment with a client. 431 00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:51,013 Can you do me a favor? 432 00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:53,346 If it's to put flowers 433 00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:53,346 in the bathroom, I already did. 434 00:09:53,346 --> 00:09:54,846 Oh, I hadn't noticed. 435 00:09:54,846 --> 00:09:56,221 Not surprised. 436 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,763 Okay, I was supposed to 437 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,763 get this client 438 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,055 a bottle of Scotch. 439 00:09:59,055 --> 00:10:00,596 I haven't had time 440 00:09:59,055 --> 00:10:00,596 to do it myself. 441 00:10:00,596 --> 00:10:03,096 So can you pick one up 442 00:10:00,596 --> 00:10:03,096 and bring it down to the office? 443 00:10:03,096 --> 00:10:04,638 Whatever you need. 444 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,138 I have to go out 445 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,138 for a haircut anyway. 446 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,138 Great. 447 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,180 Except I got 448 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,180 a haircut yesterday. 449 00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:10,846 Okay, wow. This kitchen 450 00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:10,846 really is a mess, huh? 451 00:10:10,846 --> 00:10:12,138 Mm. I'm off. 452 00:10:12,138 --> 00:10:13,680 Don't. 453 00:10:16,055 --> 00:10:17,680 Excuse me, Gloria. 454 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,513 Apparently, I don't know 455 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,513 how to keep a kitchen clean. 456 00:10:20,513 --> 00:10:21,680 What is that? 457 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,346 Oh, it's just 458 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,346 a little hush-up gift 459 00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:25,805 from my powerful wife who thinks 460 00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:25,805 she can take me for granted. 461 00:10:25,805 --> 00:10:28,596 And I'll just hover after her 462 00:10:25,805 --> 00:10:28,596 like a little puppy dog. 463 00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:30,513 You have to stop 464 00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:30,513 putting up with it. 465 00:10:30,513 --> 00:10:33,430 They don't mean to ignore you, 466 00:10:30,513 --> 00:10:33,430 but it will only get worse. 467 00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:35,680 One time 468 00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:35,680 when I had just married Jay, 469 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:38,638 I spent a whole day cooking 470 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:38,638 his favorite dinner. 471 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,471 Beef Wellington and a baked 472 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,471 potato with all the fixin's? 473 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,471 Yes. 474 00:10:41,471 --> 00:10:44,680 And then when he got home, 475 00:10:41,471 --> 00:10:44,680 he barely noticed what I made. 476 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:47,638 So I took the emerald pendant 477 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:47,638 that he had bought me 478 00:10:47,638 --> 00:10:50,263 for the three past dinners 479 00:10:47,638 --> 00:10:50,263 that he had missed 480 00:10:50,263 --> 00:10:52,055 and I threw it 481 00:10:50,263 --> 00:10:52,055 at his head. 482 00:10:52,055 --> 00:10:54,263 I told him 483 00:10:52,055 --> 00:10:54,263 I don't need fancy things. 484 00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:56,055 I need the respect. 485 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,305 Isn't that 486 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,305 an emerald pendant? 487 00:10:57,305 --> 00:10:58,971 It made its way back to me. 488 00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:01,846 But the point is that you 489 00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:01,846 have to make a statement. 490 00:11:01,846 --> 00:11:03,971 You have to give back 491 00:11:01,846 --> 00:11:03,971 the hoverboard. 492 00:11:03,971 --> 00:11:05,346 You know what? 493 00:11:05,346 --> 00:11:07,471 I hate to admit it, 494 00:11:05,346 --> 00:11:07,471 but you're right. 495 00:11:07,471 --> 00:11:09,013 Uh-oh. 496 00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:10,513 Phil? 497 00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:10,513 This happens. 498 00:11:10,513 --> 00:11:12,805 You just got to let 499 00:11:10,513 --> 00:11:12,805 the battery run out. 500 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:15,471 We're out of stamps. 501 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:15,471 I'm heading to the post office. 502 00:11:15,471 --> 00:11:16,555 Do you need anything? 503 00:11:16,555 --> 00:11:17,388 No, I'm good. 504 00:11:17,388 --> 00:11:18,555 What are you doing? 505 00:11:18,555 --> 00:11:20,263 Oh, uh, 506 00:11:18,555 --> 00:11:20,263 just a little research. 507 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,805 "Wilkersons plus adults Tommy 508 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,805 plus mysterious trunk." 509 00:11:22,805 --> 00:11:24,096 Okay, now try Googling 510 00:11:24,096 --> 00:11:25,971 "irrational meddling 511 00:11:24,096 --> 00:11:25,971 plus homosexual." 512 00:11:25,971 --> 00:11:28,930 Okay, Mitchell, what if they're 513 00:11:25,971 --> 00:11:28,930 a part of some weird cult? 514 00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:30,305 Remember that "20/20" 515 00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:30,305 we watched 516 00:11:30,305 --> 00:11:32,513 where they infiltrated 517 00:11:30,305 --> 00:11:32,513 that ritual ceremony 518 00:11:32,513 --> 00:11:35,346 and Elizabeth Vargas had 519 00:11:32,513 --> 00:11:35,346 to almost sacrifice a squirrel? 520 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,596 I went through the bag 521 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,596 they dumped in the trash. 522 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,638 Oh, hi. 523 00:11:40,638 --> 00:11:42,263 Now you're involving 524 00:11:40,638 --> 00:11:42,263 our daughter? 525 00:11:42,263 --> 00:11:44,180 I don't know 526 00:11:42,263 --> 00:11:44,180 what she's talking about. 527 00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:45,471 Okay, you know what? 528 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:46,930 You need to get 529 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:46,930 out of the house. 530 00:11:46,930 --> 00:11:48,055 Go get the stamps. 531 00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,680 And a hobby. 532 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,430 Okay, well, 533 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,430 they're in our home, 534 00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:53,513 and I'm just trying 535 00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:53,513 to protect our family. 536 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,013 I don't 537 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,013 want to wake up dead. 538 00:11:55,013 --> 00:11:56,680 I can't believe I have 539 00:11:55,013 --> 00:11:56,680 to say this to you again. 540 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,888 You cannot wake up 541 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,888 and be dead. 542 00:11:57,888 --> 00:11:59,388 - It's an expression. 543 00:11:57,888 --> 00:11:59,388 - It's not. 544 00:11:59,388 --> 00:12:02,096 Daddy should not have 545 00:11:59,388 --> 00:12:02,096 involved you in his snooping. 546 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,263 So you don't want me to tell you 547 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,263 what I found in here? 548 00:12:04,263 --> 00:12:06,138 No... 549 00:12:06,138 --> 00:12:07,805 Well, of course I looked. 550 00:12:07,805 --> 00:12:10,763 And inside I found latex gloves, 551 00:12:07,805 --> 00:12:10,763 a bottle of bleach, 552 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,346 heavy-duty tarp. 553 00:12:12,346 --> 00:12:14,888 Now, I've never killed anyone 554 00:12:12,346 --> 00:12:14,888 and cleaned it up, 555 00:12:14,888 --> 00:12:16,346 but that sounds like a kit. 556 00:12:16,346 --> 00:12:18,221 So as soon as I saw them 557 00:12:16,346 --> 00:12:18,221 drive off 558 00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:20,888 in their windowless murder van, 559 00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:20,888 I-I ran upstairs. 560 00:12:24,305 --> 00:12:26,888 Oh, my God! 561 00:12:26,888 --> 00:12:29,930 What are you? 562 00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,930 (Footsteps approach, 563 00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,930 keys jingle) 564 00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:41,638 The people are back. 565 00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:43,180 Shh! 566 00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:51,263 Is this gonna be 567 00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:51,263 a daily thing now, Tommy, 568 00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:51,263 losing your phone? 569 00:12:53,513 --> 00:12:55,555 Oh, thank God. 570 00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:58,430 Wait. 571 00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:58,430 Where are you going? 572 00:12:58,430 --> 00:12:59,846 Oh! 573 00:13:07,555 --> 00:13:08,846 Hey. 574 00:13:07,555 --> 00:13:08,846 Um, what's up? 575 00:13:08,846 --> 00:13:10,180 I'm still getting stamps. 576 00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:12,013 Look to your left. 577 00:13:12,013 --> 00:13:13,305 What are you doing? 578 00:13:13,305 --> 00:13:14,805 I'm hiding. 579 00:13:13,305 --> 00:13:14,805 They're here. 580 00:13:14,805 --> 00:13:16,305 I came up to see if anything 581 00:13:14,805 --> 00:13:16,305 weird was going on. 582 00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:18,305 Did ya? Were you curious? 583 00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:18,305 Gettin' a little nosy? 584 00:13:18,305 --> 00:13:19,305 Not the time. 585 00:13:19,305 --> 00:13:21,263 What are these 586 00:13:19,305 --> 00:13:21,263 creepy things? 587 00:13:21,263 --> 00:13:23,596 If these dolls could talk... 588 00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:25,221 They'd tell you I dropped 589 00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:25,221 one of them and their 590 00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:25,221 head came off. 591 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,930 Well, you have 592 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,930 to put it back. 593 00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:28,680 Maybe they won't notice 594 00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:28,680 one of them's missing. 595 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,430 Yeah, this seems like 596 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,430 a casual interest. 597 00:13:31,971 --> 00:13:35,096 Oh my gosh, here they come. 598 00:13:31,971 --> 00:13:35,096 Okay, I'll create a distraction 599 00:13:31,971 --> 00:13:35,096 so you can get back in there. 600 00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:38,013 I simply invited them to 601 00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:38,013 a complimentary cocktail hour. 602 00:13:38,013 --> 00:13:40,721 Even possible Satanists 603 00:13:38,013 --> 00:13:40,721 enjoy a triple-cream Brie 604 00:13:40,721 --> 00:13:42,805 and a crisp Chardonnay. 605 00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:44,555 So, what brings you all 606 00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:44,555 to town? 607 00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:47,138 We're here for 608 00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:47,138 the Chuckled Chums Convention. 609 00:13:47,138 --> 00:13:50,013 I'm sorry, 610 00:13:47,138 --> 00:13:50,013 the ... the Chuckled Chums? 611 00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:52,471 They're a line 612 00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:52,471 of ceramic figurines. 613 00:13:52,471 --> 00:13:53,971 We're avid collectors. 614 00:13:53,971 --> 00:13:56,346 - Oh. 615 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,430 - Well, that sounds fun. 616 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,430 - Yeah. 617 00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:03,346 Every year we gather together 618 00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:03,346 with like-minded Chum lovers 619 00:14:03,346 --> 00:14:04,846 to share 620 00:14:03,346 --> 00:14:04,846 our favorite pieces. 621 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,638 Yes? You ... 622 00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,638 You want to say s... 623 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,513 Help! 624 00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:10,513 Oh, bless you, darling. 625 00:14:10,513 --> 00:14:13,346 You've probably guessed. 626 00:14:10,513 --> 00:14:13,346 I'm the figurine restorer. 627 00:14:13,346 --> 00:14:14,805 We're so excited. 628 00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:16,555 Ours is this year's 629 00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:16,555 featured collection 630 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,888 because of its size 631 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,888 and pristine condition. 632 00:14:18,888 --> 00:14:22,763 I hope the industrial polisher 633 00:14:18,888 --> 00:14:22,763 we brought wasn't too loud. 634 00:14:22,763 --> 00:14:25,305 No, we can't hear anything 635 00:14:22,763 --> 00:14:25,305 that goes on upstairs. 636 00:14:27,721 --> 00:14:29,013 Okay. 637 00:14:29,013 --> 00:14:30,971 All right. 638 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,221 Oh, no. 639 00:14:33,763 --> 00:14:36,055 No, no, no, no, no! 640 00:14:33,763 --> 00:14:36,055 No, no, no, no, no! 641 00:14:36,055 --> 00:14:37,680 No, no! 642 00:14:36,055 --> 00:14:37,680 No, no, no! 643 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,471 Oh, God, no! 644 00:14:40,638 --> 00:14:41,680 Hm. 645 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,055 Fortunately, Chuckle Chums 646 00:14:43,055 --> 00:14:44,846 aren't all that expensive 647 00:14:43,055 --> 00:14:44,846 to replace. 648 00:14:44,846 --> 00:14:47,471 They're mainly just an excuse 649 00:14:44,846 --> 00:14:47,471 for lonely people to go outside. 650 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:50,388 Point is, we learned our lesson. 651 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:50,388 No more snooping. 652 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:50,388 Absolutely. 653 00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:52,763 Although we still don't have 654 00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:52,763 an explanation 655 00:14:52,763 --> 00:14:55,721 for those creaky floorboards 656 00:14:52,763 --> 00:14:55,721 in the middle of the night. 657 00:14:55,721 --> 00:14:58,263 Heavy-footed going one way, 658 00:14:55,721 --> 00:14:58,263 light coming back. 659 00:14:58,263 --> 00:15:01,680 Was it Tommy joining his chums 660 00:14:58,263 --> 00:15:01,680 for a ménage a trois, 661 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,055 then being replaced 662 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,055 by Mrs. Wilkerson on the couch? 663 00:15:05,055 --> 00:15:08,471 Okay, you need... 664 00:15:05,055 --> 00:15:08,471 help! 665 00:15:08,471 --> 00:15:09,805 Son of a bitch. 666 00:15:09,805 --> 00:15:11,263 I broke two saw blades 667 00:15:09,805 --> 00:15:11,263 on this thing, 668 00:15:11,263 --> 00:15:13,346 and now these Miracle Shears 669 00:15:11,263 --> 00:15:13,346 are no good. 670 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,721 Guy who sold me these 671 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,721 at the front door 672 00:15:14,721 --> 00:15:15,888 cut through a horseshoe. 673 00:15:15,888 --> 00:15:17,221 Hold on. 674 00:15:15,888 --> 00:15:17,221 Let's try your shredder. 675 00:15:17,221 --> 00:15:18,430 What's that doing 676 00:15:17,221 --> 00:15:18,430 down here anyway? 677 00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:19,930 I made 678 00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:19,930 an executive decision 679 00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:21,596 about some of Joe's 680 00:15:19,930 --> 00:15:21,596 lesser artwork. 681 00:15:21,596 --> 00:15:24,596 Help me lift this thing. 682 00:15:25,846 --> 00:15:27,096 Hey, it's working! 683 00:15:27,096 --> 00:15:28,930 The best shredder 684 00:15:27,096 --> 00:15:28,930 money can buy. 685 00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,888 In 2004, our whisper-close 686 00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,888 hamper technology 687 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,596 got stolen out of the trash, 688 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,596 got sold on the dark web. 689 00:15:33,596 --> 00:15:34,680 Never again. 690 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,221 Oh, no, it's stuck! 691 00:15:36,221 --> 00:15:38,388 Hola! 692 00:15:40,263 --> 00:15:42,013 Hey-oh! 693 00:15:42,013 --> 00:15:43,471 Hey, 694 00:15:42,013 --> 00:15:43,471 you're back early, huh? 695 00:15:43,471 --> 00:15:45,138 Yeah, I didn't want 696 00:15:43,471 --> 00:15:45,138 to go back to that store 697 00:15:45,138 --> 00:15:46,430 and get angry again. 698 00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:48,388 - I just want to relax. 699 00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:48,388 - Yeah. 700 00:15:48,388 --> 00:15:50,180 Manny! 701 00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:51,763 Uh, yes, Mama? 702 00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:53,388 Ay, can you please 703 00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:53,388 draw me a bath 704 00:15:53,388 --> 00:15:55,555 with those fancy bath salts 705 00:15:53,388 --> 00:15:55,555 that you have? 706 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,013 Oh, I usually save those 707 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,013 for spec... 708 00:15:57,013 --> 00:15:58,513 Just draw the damn bath. 709 00:15:58,513 --> 00:15:59,930 I'll get you a nice 710 00:15:58,513 --> 00:15:59,930 glass of wine to go with it. 711 00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:01,388 - Oh, okay. 712 00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:01,388 - Come on, honey, 713 00:16:01,388 --> 00:16:03,346 I got a nice Chardonnay out here 714 00:16:01,388 --> 00:16:03,346 you're gonna like. 715 00:16:03,346 --> 00:16:04,805 - Is that Stella? 716 00:16:04,805 --> 00:16:07,096 No, definitely not. 717 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:09,430 What did you bring? 718 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:09,430 Gloria, wait. 719 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:11,763 Oh! 720 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:11,763 Gloria, don't be mad. 721 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:16,138 It must have been 722 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:16,138 that old witch, Auntie Alice! 723 00:16:16,138 --> 00:16:18,680 She must have left this 724 00:16:16,138 --> 00:16:18,680 as a warning! 725 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,263 Devious. 726 00:16:20,263 --> 00:16:22,263 Dang it, I got my fingerprints 727 00:16:20,263 --> 00:16:22,263 all over it now. 728 00:16:22,263 --> 00:16:25,888 I bet she was the one 729 00:16:22,263 --> 00:16:25,888 who gave me that flat tire. 730 00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:28,096 Who are you calling? 731 00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:35,305 Auntie Alice. 732 00:16:35,305 --> 00:16:37,013 What was that? 733 00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:38,721 She's going to pay. 734 00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:40,096 You don't even know 735 00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:40,096 it was her. 736 00:16:40,096 --> 00:16:41,471 Whatever that was, 737 00:16:40,096 --> 00:16:41,471 you got to call it off. 738 00:16:41,471 --> 00:16:43,430 I know it was her. 739 00:16:41,471 --> 00:16:43,430 I saw evil in her eyes. 740 00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:45,430 She probably 741 00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:45,430 has cataracts. 742 00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:47,638 Oh, for God's sake, 743 00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:47,638 Gloria, I did it. 744 00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,346 - I stole the cutout. 745 00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,346 - You? 746 00:16:49,346 --> 00:16:52,221 I didn't love the way those guys 747 00:16:49,346 --> 00:16:52,221 were taking pictures with it. 748 00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:54,388 Jay, but you've never 749 00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:54,388 been jealous like this. 750 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,763 Well, when we first met, 751 00:16:55,763 --> 00:16:56,680 but then I realized 752 00:16:55,763 --> 00:16:56,680 it's a full-time job. 753 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,263 I'm sorry. 754 00:16:58,263 --> 00:17:01,721 There's nothing wrong with being 755 00:16:58,263 --> 00:17:01,721 protective of your wife. 756 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,180 It means that you care. 757 00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:05,471 Is something bad happening 758 00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:05,471 to that poor woman? 759 00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:07,263 I don't know details. 760 00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:07,263 I let them decide. 761 00:17:07,263 --> 00:17:08,888 They don't like 762 00:17:07,263 --> 00:17:08,888 to feel managed. 763 00:17:08,888 --> 00:17:10,971 I'm begging you 764 00:17:08,888 --> 00:17:10,971 to make that call! 765 00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:13,846 Auntie Alice spoke at Career Day 766 00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:13,846 at my high school! 767 00:17:15,430 --> 00:17:16,513 Hello? 768 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,388 No, we didn't 769 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,388 order flowers. 770 00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:20,680 That's them. 771 00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:20,680 Tell them no tulips. 772 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,305 Uh, no tulips. 773 00:17:22,305 --> 00:17:23,930 They hung up. 774 00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:26,055 Good thing that I remembered 775 00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:26,055 the code. 776 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,055 Okay, now, my ... mwah! 777 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,055 big jealous man, 778 00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:30,721 let's go 779 00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:30,721 and have some wine. 780 00:17:30,721 --> 00:17:33,013 I don't know why that cutout 781 00:17:30,721 --> 00:17:33,013 bugged me so much. 782 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:35,805 I guess probably because I have 783 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:35,805 more time now to be jealous. 784 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,638 Okay, now, you have more time 785 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,638 to take me upstairs 786 00:17:38,638 --> 00:17:42,013 and show me what those bad men 787 00:17:38,638 --> 00:17:42,013 were doing to me at the store. 788 00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:45,221 I'm getting back 789 00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:45,221 to liking retirement. 790 00:17:45,221 --> 00:17:48,138 I told you to say 791 00:17:45,221 --> 00:17:48,138 no roses, right? 792 00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:49,263 Tulips! 793 00:17:49,263 --> 00:17:51,513 I'm sure it's fine. 794 00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:55,388 Here's the Scotch 795 00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:55,388 you asked for. 796 00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:59,721 And also, 797 00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:59,721 there's something else. 798 00:17:59,721 --> 00:18:01,555 I'm returning 799 00:17:59,721 --> 00:18:01,555 the hoverboard. 800 00:18:01,555 --> 00:18:03,388 Fine. I-I think the receipt 801 00:18:01,555 --> 00:18:03,388 was in the box. 802 00:18:03,388 --> 00:18:04,846 Oh. Okay. 803 00:18:03,388 --> 00:18:04,846 Well, good. 804 00:18:04,846 --> 00:18:07,596 Because I can't accept a gift 805 00:18:04,846 --> 00:18:07,596 if it's just a shiny 806 00:18:07,596 --> 00:18:10,680 servo-controlled substitute 807 00:18:07,596 --> 00:18:10,680 for respect and appreciation. 808 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,138 I'm not invisible, Claire. 809 00:18:12,138 --> 00:18:14,221 You married a strong 810 00:18:12,138 --> 00:18:14,221 and capable man who ... 811 00:18:14,221 --> 00:18:15,763 Can you help me 812 00:18:14,221 --> 00:18:15,763 with this clasp? 813 00:18:15,763 --> 00:18:19,471 Claire? Honey? 814 00:18:19,471 --> 00:18:21,180 No. Don't cry. 815 00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:23,055 I-I can, uh ... 816 00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:23,055 I can keep it if you want. 817 00:18:23,055 --> 00:18:25,180 I-I can't return it anyway. 818 00:18:23,055 --> 00:18:25,180 I already dented it. 819 00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,305 No, it's not that. 820 00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,305 It's ... It's not. 821 00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:29,513 It's just all of this. 822 00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:29,513 I'm so stressed. 823 00:18:29,513 --> 00:18:31,638 Phil, I've never 824 00:18:29,513 --> 00:18:31,638 been a boss before, 825 00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:32,846 and I am freaking out. 826 00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:34,430 But you've handled it 827 00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:34,430 so well. 828 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:37,138 I am faking it, Phil. 829 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:37,138 I have no idea what I'm doing. 830 00:18:37,138 --> 00:18:38,555 I'm just copying my dad ... 831 00:18:38,555 --> 00:18:40,471 the steak, the Scotch, 832 00:18:38,555 --> 00:18:40,471 the cigars. 833 00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:42,930 Do you have any idea 834 00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:42,930 how bad the heartburn is? 835 00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,846 But you just got here. 836 00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,846 Give it a little time. 837 00:18:44,846 --> 00:18:46,721 There is no time. 838 00:18:44,846 --> 00:18:46,721 I'm in charge now. 839 00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,471 And I live every day 840 00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,471 in constant fear 841 00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:50,388 of everyone discovering 842 00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:50,388 that I'm a fraud. 843 00:18:50,388 --> 00:18:52,638 Oh, my God, I really am 844 00:18:50,388 --> 00:18:52,638 a powerful white male! 845 00:18:52,638 --> 00:18:54,305 Hey, you are not a fraud. 846 00:18:54,305 --> 00:18:55,930 I haven't had the guts 847 00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:58,805 to sit at my dad's desk 848 00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:58,805 since he left. 849 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,180 I still feel 850 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,180 like the little girl 851 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,971 who used to play 852 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,971 hide-and-seek under it. 853 00:19:03,971 --> 00:19:05,763 Look. 854 00:19:05,763 --> 00:19:07,471 This is your desk now. 855 00:19:07,471 --> 00:19:09,888 You've earned it. 856 00:19:09,888 --> 00:19:14,680 You are not 857 00:19:09,888 --> 00:19:14,680 a little girl anymore. 858 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,055 In fact, 859 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,055 you're the strongest, 860 00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:20,388 smartest woman I know. 861 00:19:20,388 --> 00:19:23,055 The hardest company in the world 862 00:19:20,388 --> 00:19:23,055 to run is Dunphy Co., 863 00:19:23,055 --> 00:19:25,221 and you've kept us in business 864 00:19:23,055 --> 00:19:25,221 for 22 years. 865 00:19:25,221 --> 00:19:27,055 I don't worry about you 866 00:19:25,221 --> 00:19:27,055 in this job. 867 00:19:27,055 --> 00:19:29,138 I worry about the poor chump 868 00:19:27,055 --> 00:19:29,138 who has to follow you. 869 00:19:29,138 --> 00:19:30,971 Oh. 870 00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:32,888 Everyone is here 871 00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:32,888 for your meeting, Claire. 872 00:19:32,888 --> 00:19:34,763 Knock 'em dead, boss. 873 00:19:34,763 --> 00:19:36,805 Uh, Phil, wait. Oh! 874 00:19:36,805 --> 00:19:38,055 Oh, sorry. 875 00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:39,680 Thank you. 876 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,305 For everything. 877 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,305 Thank you. 878 00:19:43,305 --> 00:19:46,013 And I'm sorry 879 00:19:43,305 --> 00:19:46,013 if I don't say it more. 880 00:19:46,013 --> 00:19:47,596 Come here. 881 00:19:47,596 --> 00:19:50,763 I guess you want to get rolling 882 00:19:47,596 --> 00:19:50,763 on your meeting. 883 00:19:50,763 --> 00:19:51,805 Mm. 884 00:19:51,805 --> 00:19:53,930 I'll just duck out. 885 00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,555 - Take it. 886 00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,555 - Thank you. 887 00:19:59,846 --> 00:20:01,346 Claire? 888 00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:04,513 I love you. 889 00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,388 Okay, Margaret. 890 00:20:19,388 --> 00:20:21,055 No, no, no, no, no, 891 00:20:19,388 --> 00:20:21,055 let me spin! 892 00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:22,930 It's worse 893 00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:22,930 if you try to help. 894 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,013 Send them in. 895 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:47,055 Phil? 896 00:20:47,055 --> 00:20:49,388 Oh, no, not again. 897 00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:58,346 Should we wake him up? 898 00:20:58,346 --> 00:21:00,596 Oh, I read the instructions. 899 00:20:58,346 --> 00:21:00,596 It says not to. 900 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,555 Hello. 901 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,513 What? 902 00:21:07,513 --> 00:21:09,721 Don't worry. 903 00:21:07,513 --> 00:21:09,721 I'm a Realtor. 904 00:21:09,721 --> 00:21:11,263 I'll be right there. 905 00:21:14,513 --> 00:21:16,263 I have a really 906 00:21:14,513 --> 00:21:16,263 early meeting. 907 00:21:16,263 --> 00:21:17,846 - I'm on it. 908 00:21:16,263 --> 00:21:17,846 - Thank you. 909 00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:24,138 Captions by VITAC :