1 00:00:02,134 --> 00:00:03,591 Thank you. 2 00:00:03,591 --> 00:00:05,839 Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! 3 00:00:03,591 --> 00:00:05,839 Samples! 4 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,379 Mmm! 5 00:00:07,379 --> 00:00:08,794 Mmm. 6 00:00:08,794 --> 00:00:10,418 Excuse me, 7 00:00:08,794 --> 00:00:10,418 do I know you? 8 00:00:10,418 --> 00:00:12,083 I don't think so. 9 00:00:12,083 --> 00:00:14,496 You look so familiar. 10 00:00:12,083 --> 00:00:14,496 Why am I picturing a bench ad? 11 00:00:14,496 --> 00:00:16,619 Minor celebrity. 12 00:00:14,496 --> 00:00:16,619 Guilty as charged. 13 00:00:16,619 --> 00:00:18,951 Oh! You're 14 00:00:16,619 --> 00:00:18,951 the "Accidentes" guy. 15 00:00:18,951 --> 00:00:20,907 Mm. 16 00:00:18,951 --> 00:00:20,907 No. No, no, no. 17 00:00:20,907 --> 00:00:23,363 Um, I'm, uh... 18 00:00:23,363 --> 00:00:25,445 I'm Mr. Real Estate ... 19 00:00:23,363 --> 00:00:25,445 Phil Dunphy. 20 00:00:25,445 --> 00:00:26,943 Oh, right. 21 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,357 I am actually looking 22 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,357 for a house right now. 23 00:00:29,357 --> 00:00:31,189 Wow. Well, if I could be 24 00:00:29,357 --> 00:00:31,189 of any service... 25 00:00:31,189 --> 00:00:33,353 I don't ... I don't have any 26 00:00:31,189 --> 00:00:33,353 cards. I'm in my gym clothes. 27 00:00:33,353 --> 00:00:36,100 Oh, I see you earned 28 00:00:33,353 --> 00:00:36,100 that hot chocolate. 29 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,181 Yeah, I rocked a pretty intense 30 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:39,181 Shake Weights/power walk combo. 31 00:00:39,181 --> 00:00:41,969 Morning, neighbors. 32 00:00:39,181 --> 00:00:41,969 Saw your daughter yesterday. 33 00:00:41,969 --> 00:00:44,384 Boy, she is growing up fast. 34 00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:48,297 My name is Angie. 35 00:00:48,297 --> 00:00:49,920 Here is my number. 36 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,293 If you find any good 37 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,293 three-bedrooms 38 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,293 in the neighborhood, 39 00:00:52,293 --> 00:00:53,791 I'd love to see them. 40 00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:55,664 Well, I'll call you. 41 00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:55,664 I'd love to show them to you. 42 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,288 I'm not just a pretty face 43 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,288 people sit on. 44 00:00:57,288 --> 00:00:58,786 Forget... I said that. 45 00:01:01,449 --> 00:01:02,782 Here you go. 46 00:01:02,782 --> 00:01:04,613 Oh, thanks, honey. 47 00:01:04,613 --> 00:01:06,653 Who's Angie? 48 00:01:06,653 --> 00:01:09,691 Oh. Just a woman 49 00:01:06,653 --> 00:01:09,691 I m-met inside. 50 00:01:09,691 --> 00:01:11,274 Really? 51 00:01:09,691 --> 00:01:11,274 She gave you her number? 52 00:01:11,274 --> 00:01:13,188 Dotted her "I" 53 00:01:11,274 --> 00:01:13,188 with a little heart? 54 00:01:13,188 --> 00:01:14,811 Oh, yeah. 55 00:01:13,188 --> 00:01:14,811 She's looking for a house. 56 00:01:14,811 --> 00:01:15,810 Sweet old lady. 57 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:16,893 Don't know why I said that. 58 00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:17,933 Little overweight. 59 00:01:17,933 --> 00:01:19,391 No idea where that came from. 60 00:01:19,391 --> 00:01:20,430 Thick Irish accent. 61 00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:21,471 I panicked! 62 00:01:21,471 --> 00:01:22,762 I should have told the truth, 63 00:01:22,762 --> 00:01:25,634 but Claire knows I have... 64 00:01:22,762 --> 00:01:25,634 a type. 65 00:01:25,634 --> 00:01:28,589 It was just a little white lie. 66 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,880 Ironically. 67 00:01:44,116 --> 00:01:45,240 Hey, America! 68 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,988 I didn't see you there. 69 00:01:46,988 --> 00:01:50,484 Welcome to another live webcast 70 00:01:46,988 --> 00:01:50,484 of Jay Talking. 71 00:01:50,484 --> 00:01:52,482 You know 72 00:01:50,484 --> 00:01:52,482 what really gets my goat? 73 00:01:52,482 --> 00:01:53,564 Goat cheese. 74 00:01:53,564 --> 00:01:54,605 It's on everything. 75 00:01:54,605 --> 00:01:55,854 I hate it. 76 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,852 The only thing worse 77 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,852 than goat cheese 78 00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,600 is eating it 79 00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,600 at a communal table 80 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,139 with some jerk 81 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,139 wearing a hat inside. 82 00:02:02,139 --> 00:02:03,512 Have some respect. 83 00:02:03,512 --> 00:02:05,178 And pull up your pants! 84 00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:07,800 Only crack I want to see 85 00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:07,800 is in the Liberty Bell. 86 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,173 Greatest country 87 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,173 on the damn planet. 88 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,713 If, six months ago, 89 00:02:11,713 --> 00:02:13,128 you'd have told me 90 00:02:11,713 --> 00:02:13,128 I'd have a big Internet show, 91 00:02:13,128 --> 00:02:14,876 I would have said, 92 00:02:13,128 --> 00:02:14,876 "Yeah, that adds up." 93 00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:17,623 I used to entertain my staff 94 00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:17,623 with jokes and observations. 95 00:02:17,623 --> 00:02:19,081 When I retired, 96 00:02:19,081 --> 00:02:20,787 I started sharing those gems 97 00:02:19,081 --> 00:02:20,787 around the house. 98 00:02:20,787 --> 00:02:23,909 Manny went so nuts for it, 99 00:02:20,787 --> 00:02:23,909 he set up the whole webcast. 100 00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:26,282 Sorry, Internet. 101 00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:26,282 He's your problem now. 102 00:02:26,282 --> 00:02:28,779 Bottom line, 103 00:02:26,282 --> 00:02:28,779 you can keep your hashtags, 104 00:02:28,779 --> 00:02:30,985 'cause I like hashbrowns. 105 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,318 But, hey... 106 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,274 that's just Jay Talking. 107 00:02:38,312 --> 00:02:39,685 And we're out. 108 00:02:39,685 --> 00:02:41,849 Wow. 109 00:02:39,685 --> 00:02:41,849 90 minutes just flew by. 110 00:02:41,849 --> 00:02:43,182 Hey, guys! 111 00:02:43,182 --> 00:02:45,554 The comments 112 00:02:43,182 --> 00:02:45,554 are already rolling in! 113 00:02:45,554 --> 00:02:47,053 "Keep it up, Jay." 114 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:49,092 "You're saying 115 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:49,092 what we're all thinking." 116 00:02:49,092 --> 00:02:50,882 "I miss chop suey, too." 117 00:02:50,882 --> 00:02:53,712 I love it, because now everybody 118 00:02:50,882 --> 00:02:53,712 gets to see what I live with. 119 00:02:53,712 --> 00:02:55,544 What the hell? 120 00:02:53,712 --> 00:02:55,544 This guy again? 121 00:02:53,712 --> 00:02:55,544 Who? 122 00:02:55,544 --> 00:02:57,375 Some meatball named 123 00:02:55,544 --> 00:02:57,375 "LadyKiller52" 124 00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:58,666 been dogging me for days. 125 00:02:58,666 --> 00:03:00,165 Look what he wrote. 126 00:03:00,165 --> 00:03:02,328 "Hey, Grandpa, 127 00:03:00,165 --> 00:03:02,328 no one cares what you think." 128 00:03:02,328 --> 00:03:04,826 Are you sure 129 00:03:02,328 --> 00:03:04,826 that that's not from Haley? 130 00:03:04,826 --> 00:03:06,366 Here's another one. 131 00:03:04,826 --> 00:03:06,366 The same jerk! 132 00:03:06,366 --> 00:03:07,865 "It's weird 133 00:03:06,366 --> 00:03:07,865 you don't like goat cheese 134 00:03:07,865 --> 00:03:09,905 when you've got 135 00:03:07,865 --> 00:03:09,905 a goat face." 136 00:03:09,905 --> 00:03:11,195 Well, that makes no sense. 137 00:03:09,905 --> 00:03:11,195 Mnh-mnh. 138 00:03:11,195 --> 00:03:13,984 What kind of goat 139 00:03:11,195 --> 00:03:13,984 eats its own cheese? 140 00:03:13,984 --> 00:03:17,106 Here I am, trying 141 00:03:13,984 --> 00:03:17,106 to make America laugh and think, 142 00:03:17,106 --> 00:03:19,520 and this hockey puck's 143 00:03:17,106 --> 00:03:19,520 coming at me with tired insults. 144 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,019 Okay, I-it's called 145 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,019 a troll, Jay. 146 00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:22,767 But you can't let him 147 00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:22,767 or anything else 148 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,598 keep you from directing 149 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,598 all of your opinions 150 00:03:24,598 --> 00:03:25,597 into that computer. 151 00:03:25,597 --> 00:03:26,804 You're right, Manny. 152 00:03:26,804 --> 00:03:28,802 It's tough 153 00:03:26,804 --> 00:03:28,802 being in the public eye. 154 00:03:28,802 --> 00:03:31,134 Now I know why Sinatra 155 00:03:28,802 --> 00:03:31,134 was always punching guys. 156 00:03:32,507 --> 00:03:33,922 Hola, Claire. 157 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,420 Hey. 158 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,420 What's going on? 159 00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:37,335 You do 160 00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:37,335 a lot of yoga, right? 161 00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:38,292 Ah, I used to. 162 00:03:38,292 --> 00:03:39,541 But all those 163 00:03:38,292 --> 00:03:39,541 judgy vegans 164 00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:41,539 with their ponytails 165 00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:41,539 and their Lululemon, 166 00:03:41,539 --> 00:03:43,871 I'm like, "nama-stay home," 167 00:03:41,539 --> 00:03:43,871 you know what I mean? 168 00:03:44,786 --> 00:03:45,952 Um... 169 00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,950 I just started taking it, 170 00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:50,697 but I think that the instructor 171 00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:50,697 is hitting on me. 172 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,946 He is. 173 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,946 How do you know? 174 00:03:51,946 --> 00:03:53,611 Because you're you 175 00:03:51,946 --> 00:03:53,611 in yoga pants. 176 00:03:53,611 --> 00:03:55,734 Ugh. 177 00:03:53,611 --> 00:03:55,734 Just go to another class. 178 00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:57,482 But this one is perfect. 179 00:03:57,482 --> 00:03:59,855 It's at the same time 180 00:03:57,482 --> 00:03:59,855 as Joe's Gymboree, 181 00:03:59,855 --> 00:04:01,644 right next door. 182 00:04:01,644 --> 00:04:03,476 Ay, why don't you 183 00:04:01,644 --> 00:04:03,476 come with me today 184 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:04,975 and tell me 185 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:04,975 if I'm just being crazy? 186 00:04:04,975 --> 00:04:06,514 Sure. 187 00:04:04,975 --> 00:04:06,514 Text me the info. 188 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,972 Hey, remind her! 189 00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:09,761 Oh! 190 00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:09,761 And don't forget ... 191 00:04:09,761 --> 00:04:13,050 today, all-new episode 192 00:04:09,761 --> 00:04:13,050 of Jay Talking. 193 00:04:13,050 --> 00:04:14,881 He takes on restaurants 194 00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:17,213 that write their menus 195 00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:17,213 on blackboards. 196 00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:18,961 I want to feel a menu 197 00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:18,961 in my hands! 198 00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:22,457 Hey, girl. 199 00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:23,872 What are you doing? 200 00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:23,872 Nothing. 201 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,787 Just wanted to say hi, 202 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,787 talk about stuff. 203 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,452 What stuff? 204 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,452 I don't know. 205 00:04:27,452 --> 00:04:28,617 I just miss you. 206 00:04:28,617 --> 00:04:30,116 We could 207 00:04:28,617 --> 00:04:30,116 talk about anything. 208 00:04:30,116 --> 00:04:31,739 How about... 209 00:04:30,116 --> 00:04:31,739 Watergate? 210 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,072 Like, what would you say 211 00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,653 were the three 212 00:04:33,072 --> 00:04:34,653 most significant ways 213 00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:36,234 it changed 214 00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:36,234 American politics? 215 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,775 Cite your sources. 216 00:04:37,775 --> 00:04:38,899 I'm not writing 217 00:04:37,775 --> 00:04:38,899 your essay. 218 00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,355 Okay. 219 00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,355 See you at Easter. 220 00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:41,938 Hey. I'm back. 221 00:04:41,938 --> 00:04:44,393 How'd your showing 222 00:04:41,938 --> 00:04:44,393 with Angie-with-a-heart go? 223 00:04:44,393 --> 00:04:46,433 Oh, fine. 224 00:04:44,393 --> 00:04:46,433 Uneventful. 225 00:04:46,433 --> 00:04:47,848 Nondescript. 226 00:04:47,848 --> 00:04:49,930 This shower's 227 00:04:47,848 --> 00:04:49,930 really small. 228 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:52,094 Could you imagine 229 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:52,094 me in here? 230 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:57,131 Weird thing ... I was with 231 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:57,131 her for two hours, I couldn't 232 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:57,131 pick her out of a crowd. 233 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,211 Really? That is weird. 234 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,211 Nothing weird about it. 235 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,209 You just said it was weird. 236 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,209 That's weird. 237 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,209 Give me a kiss! 238 00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:02,333 Mwah! 239 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,666 What are you up to, 240 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,666 buddy? 241 00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:05,539 Writing a paper 242 00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:05,539 on President Nixon. 243 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,038 What an idiot. 244 00:05:07,038 --> 00:05:08,452 He had it all 245 00:05:07,038 --> 00:05:08,452 and just threw it away 246 00:05:08,452 --> 00:05:09,701 because of 247 00:05:08,452 --> 00:05:09,701 some stupid lie. 248 00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:10,992 Well, maybe 249 00:05:09,701 --> 00:05:10,992 it came out of his mouth 250 00:05:10,992 --> 00:05:12,448 before he knew 251 00:05:10,992 --> 00:05:12,448 what he was saying. 252 00:05:12,448 --> 00:05:14,821 Okay, but then he just 253 00:05:12,448 --> 00:05:14,821 kept lying over and over 254 00:05:14,821 --> 00:05:16,569 and making it 255 00:05:14,821 --> 00:05:16,569 worse and worse. 256 00:05:16,569 --> 00:05:17,777 Phil, 257 00:05:16,569 --> 00:05:17,777 how old is Angie? 258 00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:20,108 Oh, uh, gosh... 259 00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:20,108 70. Why? 260 00:05:20,108 --> 00:05:21,731 I was thinking about 261 00:05:20,108 --> 00:05:21,731 that house on Forsyth. 262 00:05:21,731 --> 00:05:23,354 It's nice 263 00:05:21,731 --> 00:05:23,354 but has a lot of stairs. 264 00:05:23,354 --> 00:05:25,269 No. She's too... fat 265 00:05:23,354 --> 00:05:25,269 for that. 266 00:05:25,269 --> 00:05:26,684 Hmm. 267 00:05:26,684 --> 00:05:28,432 Therefore, 268 00:05:26,684 --> 00:05:28,432 I shall resign the presidency 269 00:05:28,432 --> 00:05:29,973 effective at noon tomorrow. 270 00:05:29,973 --> 00:05:31,388 If only 271 00:05:29,973 --> 00:05:31,388 he had told the truth. 272 00:05:31,388 --> 00:05:32,928 He was in too deep! 273 00:05:35,675 --> 00:05:38,214 Ta-da! 274 00:05:35,675 --> 00:05:38,214 Check out what I got! 275 00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:40,088 No, thanks. 276 00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:40,088 I thought we could 277 00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:40,088 go to the park tomorrow 278 00:05:40,088 --> 00:05:41,503 and you could finally learn. 279 00:05:41,503 --> 00:05:43,751 What pavement tastes like? 280 00:05:41,503 --> 00:05:43,751 I don't think so. 281 00:05:43,751 --> 00:05:47,455 Well, Lily, when you're ready, 282 00:05:43,751 --> 00:05:47,455 it's here for you. 283 00:05:47,455 --> 00:05:49,121 Mitchell, can I, um, 284 00:05:47,455 --> 00:05:49,121 speak to you in the bedroom 285 00:05:49,121 --> 00:05:50,494 about the, uh, 286 00:05:49,121 --> 00:05:50,494 dust ruffle? 287 00:05:50,494 --> 00:05:53,241 Don't worry ... 288 00:05:50,494 --> 00:05:53,241 The dust ruffle's leaving. 289 00:05:55,739 --> 00:05:56,988 Okay, 290 00:05:55,739 --> 00:05:56,988 why are you doing this? 291 00:05:56,988 --> 00:05:58,319 We need Lily 292 00:05:56,988 --> 00:05:58,319 to get on this bike. 293 00:05:58,319 --> 00:05:59,651 Why are you pushing this 294 00:05:58,319 --> 00:05:59,651 so hard? 295 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,109 She's clearly afraid. 296 00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:02,815 She's been afraid 297 00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:02,815 of a lot of things lately. 298 00:06:02,815 --> 00:06:04,521 Last week, she wouldn't even 299 00:06:02,815 --> 00:06:04,521 open her closet door 300 00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:06,936 because she thought 301 00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:06,936 something scary was in there. 302 00:06:06,936 --> 00:06:08,809 Could be the denim jumpsuit 303 00:06:06,936 --> 00:06:08,809 your mom made her. 304 00:06:08,809 --> 00:06:10,016 This is a pivotal moment. 305 00:06:10,016 --> 00:06:11,348 We can't raise a child 306 00:06:11,348 --> 00:06:14,511 who won't ride a bike 307 00:06:11,348 --> 00:06:14,511 or get on an airplane 308 00:06:14,511 --> 00:06:15,927 or eat mayonnaise. 309 00:06:15,927 --> 00:06:18,257 It's a texture thing. 310 00:06:15,927 --> 00:06:18,257 How does egg become that? 311 00:06:18,257 --> 00:06:20,130 We are doing this tomorrow. 312 00:06:18,257 --> 00:06:20,130 She is getting on this bike. 313 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,629 What's the rush? 314 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,629 She's 8 years old. 315 00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:22,920 Most Vietnamese kids her age 316 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,209 are already riding a bike 317 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,209 to work. 318 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:27,998 So, where's 319 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:27,998 Mahatma Handsy? 320 00:06:27,998 --> 00:06:30,454 I noticed that you have 321 00:06:27,998 --> 00:06:30,454 a lot of these yoga puns. 322 00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:31,828 I don't think 323 00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:31,828 we need any more. 324 00:06:32,952 --> 00:06:34,491 Namaste. 325 00:06:34,491 --> 00:06:36,448 Okay. Now I get 326 00:06:34,491 --> 00:06:36,448 the one from before. 327 00:06:36,448 --> 00:06:37,697 Uh-huh. 328 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,111 Hi. 329 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,111 Hi. 330 00:06:39,111 --> 00:06:40,402 We haven't met. 331 00:06:40,402 --> 00:06:41,568 Oh. Claire. 332 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,733 Claire. 333 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,733 Mm-hmm. 334 00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:44,231 Beautiful. 335 00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:46,188 Like the sunrise 336 00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:46,188 in Tanjung Rhu. 337 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,978 You have a great yoga body. 338 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,978 You've done this before? 339 00:06:47,978 --> 00:06:49,851 Um, yeah. I mean, it's been 340 00:06:47,978 --> 00:06:49,851 a little while, but yeah. 341 00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:52,723 Great posture, 342 00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:52,723 strong core. 343 00:06:55,179 --> 00:06:57,177 We will have fun. 344 00:06:57,177 --> 00:07:00,008 Maybe I've just been stressed 345 00:06:57,177 --> 00:07:00,008 lately, but I was wrong. 346 00:07:00,008 --> 00:07:01,756 Yoga felt good. 347 00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:04,628 We are lifting our hips 348 00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:04,628 towards the ceiling. 349 00:07:04,628 --> 00:07:06,459 Very nice, Claire. 350 00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:09,123 Ra was very supportive. 351 00:07:09,123 --> 00:07:11,621 Maybe I just never had 352 00:07:09,123 --> 00:07:11,621 the right teacher. 353 00:07:15,075 --> 00:07:16,533 Am I doing it right? 354 00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:17,448 Shh! 355 00:07:19,363 --> 00:07:21,236 And they validate parking. 356 00:07:25,732 --> 00:07:27,230 Another one? 357 00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:29,311 I've had it with 358 00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:29,311 this LadyKiller son of a bitch. 359 00:07:29,311 --> 00:07:31,101 He's been lobbing insults 360 00:07:29,311 --> 00:07:31,101 all night. 361 00:07:31,101 --> 00:07:33,891 "Hey, dumbbell, I can smell your 362 00:07:31,101 --> 00:07:33,891 breath through the Internet." 363 00:07:33,891 --> 00:07:35,180 They can't do that, 364 00:07:33,891 --> 00:07:35,180 right? 365 00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:37,013 Jay, take it 366 00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:37,013 from a fellow performer ... 367 00:07:37,013 --> 00:07:38,719 If you're going to 368 00:07:37,013 --> 00:07:38,719 put yourself out there, 369 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,634 you need to let the criticism 370 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,634 roll off your back. 371 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,715 I must say, I was impressed 372 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,715 you didn't mope for a month 373 00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:45,420 after that brutal review 374 00:07:42,715 --> 00:07:45,420 of you in Sound of Music. 375 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,543 What are you talking about? 376 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,543 There was no review. 377 00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:49,208 There was no school paper 378 00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:49,208 that week. 379 00:07:50,207 --> 00:07:52,622 Eeeeeexactly. 380 00:07:50,207 --> 00:07:52,622 There was no paper that week. 381 00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:53,787 Oh, yeah. 382 00:07:53,787 --> 00:07:54,953 What did you do? 383 00:07:54,953 --> 00:07:56,118 I... 384 00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:57,825 I am not 385 00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:57,825 going to stand here 386 00:07:57,825 --> 00:08:01,488 and let you accuse me 387 00:07:57,825 --> 00:08:01,488 of stealing all of those papers! 388 00:08:03,611 --> 00:08:05,900 He didn't say that. 389 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,523 "After seeing Manny Delgado 390 00:08:07,523 --> 00:08:09,521 mangle the role 391 00:08:07,523 --> 00:08:09,521 of Captain Von Trapp, 392 00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:12,727 all I can say is 393 00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:12,727 "Doe-a-dear Lord, make it stop. 394 00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:15,640 I am 16 395 00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:15,640 going on antidepressants. 396 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,554 I wanted to climb every mountain 397 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,554 and jump off." 398 00:08:18,554 --> 00:08:20,885 What teacher allowed this? 399 00:08:22,175 --> 00:08:23,174 Hey, Grandpa. 400 00:08:23,174 --> 00:08:24,340 Hi, honey! 401 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:25,630 Oh, I'm so glad 402 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:25,630 you called. 403 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,921 I've just been having 404 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,921 the worst week. 405 00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:28,836 It's been so overwhelming 406 00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:28,836 and so much ... 407 00:08:28,836 --> 00:08:30,500 You know what helps? 408 00:08:28,836 --> 00:08:30,500 A cocktail. 409 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,040 Listen, 410 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,040 I've got a situation. 411 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,622 Do you know 412 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,622 any computer nerds 413 00:08:33,622 --> 00:08:35,745 that can track someone down 414 00:08:33,622 --> 00:08:35,745 on the Internet? 415 00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:40,782 Yeah, I think 416 00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:40,782 I can find a few. 417 00:08:40,782 --> 00:08:43,112 Okay! How exciting 418 00:08:40,782 --> 00:08:43,112 is this, Lily? 419 00:08:43,112 --> 00:08:45,402 In no time at all, 420 00:08:43,112 --> 00:08:45,402 you're gonna be a bike rider. 421 00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:47,067 Or a corpse. 422 00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:47,067 Okay... 423 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:49,315 I know you're afraid, 424 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:49,315 and sometimes it's helpful 425 00:08:49,315 --> 00:08:53,019 if you say exactly 426 00:08:49,315 --> 00:08:53,019 what you're afraid of out loud. 427 00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:53,894 So...? 428 00:08:53,894 --> 00:08:55,225 I'm afraid I'll fall 429 00:08:55,225 --> 00:08:56,933 because I'm not ready 430 00:08:55,225 --> 00:08:56,933 and you forced me, 431 00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:59,430 so for the rest of my life, 432 00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:59,430 I'll hold it against you. 433 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:00,679 And then other times, 434 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:00,679 it's just best 435 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,510 to tamp it down 436 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,510 and soldier on. 437 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,758 I said this when you pried her 438 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,758 out of the car, 439 00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:07,338 and I'll say this again ... 440 00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:07,338 She doesn't want to do this! 441 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,586 She will when she sees 442 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,586 how easy it is for me. 443 00:09:09,586 --> 00:09:11,501 See? Easy as pie! 444 00:09:11,501 --> 00:09:13,956 Okay, look, Lily, 445 00:09:11,501 --> 00:09:13,956 if you don't want to do this ... 446 00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:15,330 I don't want 447 00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:15,330 to do this. 448 00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:15,330 Okay. 449 00:09:16,704 --> 00:09:18,161 Aah! I'm good! 450 00:09:18,161 --> 00:09:19,992 Um... look. All right. 451 00:09:18,161 --> 00:09:19,992 I'm gonna talk to Daddy. 452 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:23,197 But just promise me 453 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:23,197 you'll learn someday, okay? 454 00:09:23,197 --> 00:09:24,821 And that 455 00:09:23,197 --> 00:09:24,821 you'll get on a plane. 456 00:09:24,821 --> 00:09:26,903 Why wouldn't I get on a plane? 457 00:09:24,821 --> 00:09:26,903 What's wrong with them? 458 00:09:26,903 --> 00:09:28,442 Nothing. 459 00:09:26,903 --> 00:09:28,442 They're safer than cars. 460 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,065 Cars aren't safe? 461 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,065 Oh, my God. 462 00:09:30,065 --> 00:09:31,689 Okay! 463 00:09:30,065 --> 00:09:31,689 Look ... here's Daddy. 464 00:09:31,689 --> 00:09:33,729 Here we are, 465 00:09:31,689 --> 00:09:33,729 safe and sound! 466 00:09:33,729 --> 00:09:35,394 What's wrong? 467 00:09:33,729 --> 00:09:35,394 Nothing. 468 00:09:35,394 --> 00:09:36,893 I just think I left the oven on 469 00:09:35,394 --> 00:09:36,893 at home after breakfast, 470 00:09:36,893 --> 00:09:37,974 so we should get going. 471 00:09:37,974 --> 00:09:39,223 Thank God. 472 00:09:39,223 --> 00:09:40,347 No, you had cereal 473 00:09:39,223 --> 00:09:40,347 for breakfast. 474 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,679 What's going on? 475 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,427 I wiped out, 476 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,427 and I think I broke my arm. 477 00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:44,885 I've never been 478 00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:44,885 in so much pain. 479 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,049 Keep smiling. 480 00:09:46,049 --> 00:09:47,090 Got to get you to an ER. 481 00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:48,714 No, don't! No, no! 482 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,462 If Lily sees me hurt, 483 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,462 she's never gonna get on a bike. 484 00:09:50,462 --> 00:09:52,252 You crashed because of that 485 00:09:50,462 --> 00:09:52,252 shirtless jogger, didn't you? 486 00:09:52,252 --> 00:09:54,041 Oh, my God. 487 00:09:52,252 --> 00:09:54,041 Right? 488 00:09:55,124 --> 00:09:58,079 Oh, Gloria! I was wondering 489 00:09:55,124 --> 00:09:58,079 if you were gonna be here today. 490 00:09:58,079 --> 00:09:59,453 What are you doing here? 491 00:09:59,453 --> 00:10:02,158 I got to say, 492 00:09:59,453 --> 00:10:02,158 I thought I was over yoga, 493 00:10:02,158 --> 00:10:04,698 but yesterday was 494 00:10:02,158 --> 00:10:04,698 a real eye-opener. 495 00:10:04,698 --> 00:10:06,321 "Eye" or "thigh"? 496 00:10:06,321 --> 00:10:07,778 Hmm. Wow. 497 00:10:07,778 --> 00:10:09,610 I thought it was 498 00:10:07,778 --> 00:10:09,610 a very challenging class, 499 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,315 and I don't really appreciate 500 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,315 anything else you're implying, 501 00:10:12,315 --> 00:10:13,731 'cause you're a little... 502 00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:14,730 I'm what? 503 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:15,936 Jealous. 504 00:10:15,936 --> 00:10:17,727 Of what ... 505 00:10:15,936 --> 00:10:17,727 of him rubbing you 506 00:10:17,727 --> 00:10:20,140 like he was expecting a genie 507 00:10:17,727 --> 00:10:20,140 to come out? 508 00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:23,846 Look, you are so used to being 509 00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:23,846 the center of men's attention 510 00:10:23,846 --> 00:10:27,467 that yesterday, it probably 511 00:10:23,846 --> 00:10:27,467 bothered you that I... got some. 512 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,423 Attention. That's all. 513 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,423 Just attention. 514 00:10:29,423 --> 00:10:32,212 That's insane. 515 00:10:29,423 --> 00:10:32,212 I am a married woman. 516 00:10:32,212 --> 00:10:34,917 I am used to getting 517 00:10:32,212 --> 00:10:34,917 no attention. 518 00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:37,457 No, Angie, you're like 519 00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:37,457 right around the corner from me. 520 00:10:37,457 --> 00:10:38,996 Yeah, turn left, 521 00:10:37,457 --> 00:10:38,996 walk west, 522 00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:41,078 and I'll see you 523 00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:41,078 in front of the hair salon. 524 00:10:41,078 --> 00:10:42,618 All right. 525 00:10:41,078 --> 00:10:42,618 See you in a minute. 526 00:10:42,618 --> 00:10:43,826 Phil? 527 00:10:43,826 --> 00:10:45,407 Ohh! Hey! 528 00:10:45,407 --> 00:10:46,239 No! 529 00:10:48,279 --> 00:10:50,485 What are you guys up to? 530 00:10:48,279 --> 00:10:50,485 I have a yoga class. 531 00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:52,775 And, apparently, 532 00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:52,775 Claire does, too. 533 00:10:52,775 --> 00:10:54,148 What are you doing here? 534 00:10:54,148 --> 00:10:55,979 Oh, just on my way 535 00:10:54,148 --> 00:10:55,979 to show more houses 536 00:10:55,979 --> 00:10:59,435 to my fat, Irish client, 537 00:10:55,979 --> 00:10:59,435 Angie O'Plasty. 538 00:10:59,435 --> 00:11:00,767 Huh. 539 00:10:59,435 --> 00:11:00,767 I'm going in. 540 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:03,264 I will tell Ra 541 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:03,264 that you're here. 542 00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:06,469 Ra is 543 00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:06,469 our yoga instructor. 544 00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:08,676 Oh, she must be great. 545 00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:08,676 You're here two days in a row. 546 00:11:08,676 --> 00:11:10,757 She is great. 547 00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:11,922 She's a little old. 548 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,421 Don't know why I said that. 549 00:11:15,502 --> 00:11:16,501 I got to go. 550 00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:19,290 See you black home. 551 00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:22,952 Pretty sure 552 00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:22,952 I know why I said that. 553 00:11:24,909 --> 00:11:26,948 This is the most pain 554 00:11:24,909 --> 00:11:26,948 I've ever been in in my life. 555 00:11:26,948 --> 00:11:29,446 And a horse once kicked me 556 00:11:26,948 --> 00:11:29,446 into an electric fence. 557 00:11:29,446 --> 00:11:30,861 Well, C-Cam, yeah, 558 00:11:29,446 --> 00:11:30,861 you broke your arm. 559 00:11:30,861 --> 00:11:32,193 You got to go 560 00:11:30,861 --> 00:11:32,193 to the hospital. 561 00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:34,358 No. Not yet. 562 00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:34,358 I'll go in, draw myself a bath, 563 00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:35,690 pretend to fall 564 00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:35,690 and break my arm. 565 00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:37,313 In the meantime, 566 00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:37,313 go get those painkillers 567 00:11:37,313 --> 00:11:39,103 that they gave you 568 00:11:37,313 --> 00:11:39,103 when you twisted your ankle. 569 00:11:39,103 --> 00:11:40,934 Oh, I think 570 00:11:39,103 --> 00:11:40,934 I threw those away. 571 00:11:39,103 --> 00:11:40,934 Did you? 572 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,475 Or are they in the nightstand 573 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,475 next to your bed 574 00:11:42,475 --> 00:11:43,890 because they go good 575 00:11:42,475 --> 00:11:43,890 with a glass of wine? 576 00:11:48,761 --> 00:11:49,593 Dad? 577 00:11:49,593 --> 00:11:51,133 Yeah? 578 00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:52,507 Can you open these? 579 00:11:52,507 --> 00:11:53,714 'Course I can. 580 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,004 Well? Will you? 581 00:11:55,004 --> 00:11:57,043 Uh... sure. Yeah. 582 00:11:55,004 --> 00:11:57,043 Now? 583 00:11:57,043 --> 00:11:58,042 Okay. 584 00:11:58,042 --> 00:11:59,208 Let's see here. 585 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:00,457 Ohh! 586 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:00,457 Ooh, you know what? 587 00:12:00,457 --> 00:12:01,997 There's a fun way 588 00:12:00,457 --> 00:12:01,997 to open these 589 00:12:01,997 --> 00:12:03,786 I don't know 590 00:12:01,997 --> 00:12:03,786 if I've ever taught you. 591 00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:05,244 There! 592 00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:05,244 Whoopsie-daisy! 593 00:12:05,244 --> 00:12:07,200 Bon appétit. 594 00:12:05,244 --> 00:12:07,200 Bath time! 595 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,699 Okay, so, I got the ... 596 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,699 Uh... 597 00:12:08,699 --> 00:12:10,114 What happened here? 598 00:12:10,114 --> 00:12:11,404 Daddy opened the chips. 599 00:12:11,404 --> 00:12:12,986 With what ... 600 00:12:11,404 --> 00:12:12,986 a snowblower? 601 00:12:16,608 --> 00:12:18,522 Whew! 602 00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:20,312 Oh! 603 00:12:20,312 --> 00:12:21,977 Oh! 604 00:12:20,312 --> 00:12:21,977 Oh, I wonder 605 00:12:20,312 --> 00:12:21,977 what that noise was. 606 00:12:21,977 --> 00:12:24,058 I hope Daddy's okay! 607 00:12:25,599 --> 00:12:27,222 Daddy! 608 00:12:25,599 --> 00:12:27,222 Oh, no! 609 00:12:27,222 --> 00:12:29,053 Looks like you fell 610 00:12:27,222 --> 00:12:29,053 and broke your, uh, left arm. 611 00:12:29,053 --> 00:12:30,260 No, Mitchell, I fell. 612 00:12:29,053 --> 00:12:30,260 I really fell. 613 00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:31,259 Oh, really? 614 00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:31,259 Really. 615 00:12:31,259 --> 00:12:32,383 Are you okay? 616 00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:33,840 My head hurts. 617 00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:33,840 And my arm. 618 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,714 I'm never taking a bath 619 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,714 again! 620 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,294 Oh, great. 621 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,294 Too bad you didn't 622 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,294 fall off a stripper pole. 623 00:12:38,294 --> 00:12:39,293 Ow! 624 00:12:38,294 --> 00:12:39,293 I-I'm sorry. 625 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:40,500 That is the left. 626 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:40,500 Left. 627 00:12:42,373 --> 00:12:44,538 Well, this is the address 628 00:12:42,373 --> 00:12:44,538 Alex's nerds gave me, 629 00:12:44,538 --> 00:12:47,618 but it's not 630 00:12:44,538 --> 00:12:47,618 where I pictured a troll living. 631 00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:49,824 "After his performance 632 00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:49,824 in The Sound of Music, 633 00:12:49,824 --> 00:12:52,655 Christopher Plummer went on to 634 00:12:49,824 --> 00:12:52,655 a distinguished acting career. 635 00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,985 After Delgado's performance, 636 00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,985 I expect he'll go on 637 00:12:54,985 --> 00:12:56,817 to a distinguished 638 00:12:54,985 --> 00:12:56,817 plumbing career." 639 00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,398 Focus! I need you to film this 640 00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:59,398 for my show tomorrow. 641 00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:04,435 By the way, if the punk's 642 00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:04,435 under 18, you have to hit him. 643 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,474 What? 644 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,474 I never agreed to that! 645 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,263 Pritchett? 646 00:13:09,263 --> 00:13:10,637 Earl? 647 00:13:10,637 --> 00:13:12,135 You've got to be 648 00:13:10,637 --> 00:13:12,135 kidding me. 649 00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:13,551 What the hell 650 00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:13,551 are you doing here? 651 00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:16,381 I'm here to punch LadyKiller 652 00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:16,381 in his fat face. 653 00:13:16,381 --> 00:13:18,836 I'm sorry. Can we start over? 654 00:13:16,381 --> 00:13:18,836 I was on "Photo." 655 00:13:18,836 --> 00:13:20,585 Go ahead. Any time. 656 00:13:25,122 --> 00:13:26,413 You're pathetic. 657 00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:27,786 I crushed you 658 00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:27,786 in the closet game, 659 00:13:27,786 --> 00:13:29,368 and I'm crushing it 660 00:13:27,786 --> 00:13:29,368 on the Internet. 661 00:13:29,368 --> 00:13:31,241 Put that rat down, and I'll 662 00:13:29,368 --> 00:13:31,241 crush you on your porch. 663 00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:34,196 Like that is gonna be any more 664 00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:34,196 painful than your stupid rant, 665 00:13:34,196 --> 00:13:36,111 "When did restaurants 666 00:13:34,196 --> 00:13:36,111 get so loud?" 667 00:13:36,111 --> 00:13:37,485 I should have known 668 00:13:36,111 --> 00:13:37,485 it was you ... 669 00:13:37,485 --> 00:13:39,608 all those typos 670 00:13:37,485 --> 00:13:39,608 from your stubby fingers. 671 00:13:39,608 --> 00:13:41,314 Watch it. 672 00:13:39,608 --> 00:13:41,314 I got my mother's hands. 673 00:13:41,314 --> 00:13:42,979 You also have 674 00:13:41,314 --> 00:13:42,979 your mother's mustache. 675 00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:44,894 Hold this! 676 00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:44,894 Hold this. 677 00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:50,679 That went on 678 00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:50,679 for a good 20 seconds. 679 00:13:54,551 --> 00:13:56,424 Why do we 680 00:13:54,551 --> 00:13:56,424 keep doing this? 681 00:13:56,424 --> 00:13:57,382 Who knows? 682 00:13:57,382 --> 00:13:58,838 Isn't it obvious? 683 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,794 You two need each other. 684 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,794 It's what drives you. 685 00:14:00,794 --> 00:14:02,667 The kid is right. 686 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,207 Beating you is half the reason 687 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,207 I get out of bed. 688 00:14:05,207 --> 00:14:06,913 Locking horns. 689 00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,620 We made each other better 690 00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,620 than I ever thought we could be. 691 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:10,826 Pushed each other 692 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:10,826 to greatness. 693 00:14:10,826 --> 00:14:12,325 We touched the sky. 694 00:14:12,325 --> 00:14:14,240 We're talking about closets 695 00:14:12,325 --> 00:14:14,240 here, right? 696 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,154 Oh, I'm sorry ... 697 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,154 You mean the sanctuary 698 00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,111 where a man dons his armor 699 00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:18,111 in the morning 700 00:14:18,111 --> 00:14:19,900 and takes stock of the battle 701 00:14:18,111 --> 00:14:19,900 at night? 702 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,148 The one thing 703 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,148 we all have in common ... 704 00:14:22,148 --> 00:14:24,979 presidents to postmen, 705 00:14:22,148 --> 00:14:24,979 tycoons to teachers, 706 00:14:24,979 --> 00:14:26,768 from sea to shining sea! 707 00:14:26,768 --> 00:14:28,392 This is taking 708 00:14:26,768 --> 00:14:28,392 a weird turn. 709 00:14:28,392 --> 00:14:30,515 We did kind of bring out the 710 00:14:28,392 --> 00:14:30,515 best in each other, didn't we? 711 00:14:30,515 --> 00:14:33,012 Why did you have to retire, 712 00:14:30,515 --> 00:14:33,012 Pritchett? 713 00:14:33,012 --> 00:14:34,053 I miss the fire. 714 00:14:34,053 --> 00:14:35,427 I guess I miss it, too. 715 00:14:35,427 --> 00:14:37,383 All right, 716 00:14:35,427 --> 00:14:37,383 here's something. 717 00:14:37,383 --> 00:14:38,715 What if we do the show 718 00:14:37,383 --> 00:14:38,715 together? 719 00:14:38,715 --> 00:14:40,130 What? No! 720 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,087 I'm not gonna let you 721 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,087 glom onto my new hit show! 722 00:14:42,087 --> 00:14:43,668 43 views. 723 00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:45,584 We could do like a ... 724 00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:45,584 like a point/counterpoint 725 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:46,957 kind of thing. 726 00:14:46,957 --> 00:14:48,913 Like I would say something 727 00:14:46,957 --> 00:14:48,913 like, uh... 728 00:14:48,913 --> 00:14:51,036 "Let's get rid of pennies," 729 00:14:48,913 --> 00:14:51,036 and you would say... 730 00:14:51,036 --> 00:14:52,118 Of course 731 00:14:51,036 --> 00:14:52,118 we should get rid of pennies! 732 00:14:52,118 --> 00:14:53,492 They're annoying to own 733 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:55,157 and make you feel bad 734 00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:55,157 when you throw them out. 735 00:14:55,157 --> 00:14:57,447 All right, what ... what if 736 00:14:55,157 --> 00:14:57,447 I said, "I miss milkmen"? 737 00:14:57,447 --> 00:14:58,820 Who doesn't miss milkmen? 738 00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,859 The glass bottle, 739 00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,859 little bow tie. 740 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,941 What am I, an idiot? 741 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,941 I don't miss milkmen? 742 00:15:02,941 --> 00:15:04,565 Okay, well, 743 00:15:02,941 --> 00:15:04,565 then you think of something! 744 00:15:04,565 --> 00:15:05,729 I'm not the one 745 00:15:04,565 --> 00:15:05,729 auditioning. 746 00:15:05,729 --> 00:15:07,395 Okay. 747 00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:10,974 Here's something that represents 748 00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:10,974 my unique brand of thinking. 749 00:15:10,974 --> 00:15:14,138 When I fly, 750 00:15:10,974 --> 00:15:14,138 I like luggage fees. 751 00:15:14,138 --> 00:15:15,594 Me too. 752 00:15:15,594 --> 00:15:17,093 Why should us carry-on folk 753 00:15:15,594 --> 00:15:17,093 have to foot the bill 754 00:15:17,093 --> 00:15:18,925 for those morons 755 00:15:17,093 --> 00:15:18,925 who don't know how to pack? 756 00:15:18,925 --> 00:15:20,839 Three weeks, 757 00:15:18,925 --> 00:15:20,839 I went from Edinburgh to Warsaw 758 00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:23,171 on two pairs of pants 759 00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:23,171 and a tam-o'-shanter. 760 00:15:23,171 --> 00:15:25,002 I'm falling asleep. 761 00:15:23,171 --> 00:15:25,002 I love naps! 762 00:15:25,002 --> 00:15:27,125 Who doesn't? 763 00:15:25,002 --> 00:15:27,125 This is ridiculous! 764 00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:29,705 The irony that, despite you two 765 00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:29,705 being mortal enemies, 766 00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:30,996 it appears 767 00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:30,996 you agree on everything? 768 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,037 No! 769 00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:34,076 It's that 770 00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:34,076 this jackass thinks 771 00:15:34,076 --> 00:15:36,241 he can actually bring 772 00:15:34,076 --> 00:15:36,241 something new to Jay Talking. 773 00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:38,197 Come on! 774 00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:38,197 We would be magic! 775 00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:39,654 You already stole one company 776 00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:39,654 from me. 777 00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:40,736 You're not getting this. 778 00:15:40,736 --> 00:15:43,566 Okay, fine! 779 00:15:43,566 --> 00:15:46,314 I will start 780 00:15:43,566 --> 00:15:46,314 my own show. 781 00:15:46,314 --> 00:15:48,895 I'll call it... 782 00:15:46,314 --> 00:15:48,895 Earls of Wisdom. 783 00:15:48,895 --> 00:15:50,060 Can't wait. 784 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:51,434 I'll see you 785 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:51,434 in the comments section. 786 00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:52,932 I'll just 787 00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:52,932 turn the comments off. 788 00:15:53,848 --> 00:15:55,514 You can do that? 789 00:15:53,848 --> 00:15:55,514 Yeah. 790 00:15:55,514 --> 00:15:57,677 Then why am I here? 791 00:15:58,926 --> 00:16:00,674 Really, 792 00:15:58,926 --> 00:16:00,674 you don't have to do this. 793 00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:02,340 If I don't drive you 794 00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:02,340 to get your keys, 795 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:03,796 how are you 796 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:03,796 gonna get your car? 797 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,379 Well, thank you. 798 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,379 This is me right here. 799 00:16:05,379 --> 00:16:07,085 Not here. Not here. 800 00:16:05,379 --> 00:16:07,085 Two down. 801 00:16:07,085 --> 00:16:08,126 Oh, there's 802 00:16:07,085 --> 00:16:08,126 a stomach cramp. 803 00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,705 Much better. 804 00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,705 Uh, right here. 805 00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:14,245 With the mailbox 806 00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:14,245 that says "Porterfields"? 807 00:16:14,245 --> 00:16:17,117 Yep. It is a joke that we play 808 00:16:14,245 --> 00:16:17,117 with the mailman. Long story. 809 00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:18,906 I will be right back. 810 00:16:29,687 --> 00:16:31,186 (dogs barking, 811 00:16:29,687 --> 00:16:31,186 branches rustling) 812 00:16:42,882 --> 00:16:43,798 Hello? 813 00:16:43,798 --> 00:16:45,713 Hey, Claire? 814 00:16:43,798 --> 00:16:45,713 It's Ra. 815 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:46,962 Oh. Hi. 816 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,001 The readout said 817 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,001 "Ira Burnbaum." 818 00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:51,623 Yeah. Uh, 819 00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:51,623 "Ra" is short for "Ira." 820 00:16:51,623 --> 00:16:53,746 Anyway, I was wondering 821 00:16:51,623 --> 00:16:53,746 if you wanted to get together, 822 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,037 maybe grab a shower 823 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,037 and a movie? 824 00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:57,701 No. No. 825 00:16:57,701 --> 00:17:00,157 Oh, I am ... 826 00:16:57,701 --> 00:17:00,157 Mm. 827 00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:03,321 Ira, I'm a married woman. 828 00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:03,321 That's not gonna happen. 829 00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:05,984 Wow. I didn't pick up that 830 00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:05,984 energy when I was planking you. 831 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,025 Mm. 832 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,149 Aaah! 833 00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,149 Ohh! 834 00:17:08,149 --> 00:17:09,605 Phil! 835 00:17:08,149 --> 00:17:09,605 What are you doing home? 836 00:17:09,605 --> 00:17:11,520 I lost my car keys. 837 00:17:09,605 --> 00:17:11,520 Who were you talking to? 838 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,436 Nobody. 839 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,436 Why are your pants ripped? 840 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,436 No reason. 841 00:17:13,436 --> 00:17:15,059 Here they are. 842 00:17:13,436 --> 00:17:15,059 See you later! 843 00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:25,424 Hey! There you are. 844 00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:25,424 Off we go. 845 00:17:25,424 --> 00:17:27,130 Phil, why didn't you show me 846 00:17:25,424 --> 00:17:27,130 this house? 847 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,670 It has everything I want. 848 00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,918 I forgot it was for sale. 849 00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:30,918 You're the agent. 850 00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:32,791 Oh. I remember ... 851 00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:32,791 It's built cheap. 852 00:17:32,791 --> 00:17:35,289 It... looks pretty solid 853 00:17:32,791 --> 00:17:35,289 to me. 854 00:17:35,289 --> 00:17:36,828 Well, it's mostly 855 00:17:35,289 --> 00:17:36,828 held up by beehives. 856 00:17:36,828 --> 00:17:38,785 Let's go. 857 00:17:36,828 --> 00:17:38,785 Phil, what is going on? 858 00:17:38,785 --> 00:17:41,074 Nothing. Just trying to keep you 859 00:17:38,785 --> 00:17:41,074 away from all that asbestos. 860 00:17:41,074 --> 00:17:42,822 Do you not want me 861 00:17:41,074 --> 00:17:42,822 as a neighbor? 862 00:17:42,822 --> 00:17:44,612 Okay. 863 00:17:44,612 --> 00:17:46,985 I-I can't do this anymore. 864 00:17:44,612 --> 00:17:46,985 No more lies. 865 00:17:46,985 --> 00:17:48,608 It is related to that. 866 00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:50,149 Wow. 867 00:17:50,149 --> 00:17:52,355 I did not peg you 868 00:17:50,149 --> 00:17:52,355 for a racist. 869 00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:53,728 Wait. 870 00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:53,728 No, no, no, no, no! 871 00:17:53,728 --> 00:17:55,102 Wait, wait, wait. 872 00:17:53,728 --> 00:17:55,102 Angie ... 873 00:17:55,102 --> 00:17:57,225 It's always 874 00:17:55,102 --> 00:17:57,225 the last people you think. 875 00:17:57,225 --> 00:17:58,890 We're done. 876 00:17:57,225 --> 00:17:58,890 Goodbye, Phil. 877 00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:01,470 No, Angie! 878 00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:01,470 That's not it! 879 00:18:01,470 --> 00:18:03,094 I lied to my wife 880 00:18:03,094 --> 00:18:05,175 because she knows I have a thing 881 00:18:03,094 --> 00:18:05,175 for black women! 882 00:18:05,175 --> 00:18:06,258 Oh, really? 883 00:18:06,258 --> 00:18:07,382 Hey, there! 884 00:18:07,382 --> 00:18:09,545 So, 885 00:18:07,382 --> 00:18:09,545 that was Angie O'Hara? 886 00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:11,128 Okay. 887 00:18:11,128 --> 00:18:12,959 Full disclosure... 888 00:18:11,128 --> 00:18:12,959 Mm-hmm. 889 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,999 I did lie. 890 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,999 Mm-hmm. 891 00:18:14,999 --> 00:18:17,537 But only because she's beautiful 892 00:18:14,999 --> 00:18:17,537 and you get a little crazy. 893 00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:21,533 Why the hell did I say that? 894 00:18:24,864 --> 00:18:25,904 I'm sorry. 895 00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:27,736 Oh, it's okay. 896 00:18:27,736 --> 00:18:29,650 You're being so understanding. 897 00:18:27,736 --> 00:18:29,650 It's so unlike you. 898 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,233 Are you secretly mad? 899 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:33,605 Are you lulling me 900 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:33,605 into a false sense of security? 901 00:18:33,605 --> 00:18:35,936 Are you gonna do something to me 902 00:18:33,605 --> 00:18:35,936 while I'm asleep? 903 00:18:35,936 --> 00:18:38,975 Phil, you know 904 00:18:35,936 --> 00:18:38,975 what really gets my goat? 905 00:18:38,975 --> 00:18:40,764 That you lied. 906 00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:42,222 Guess men are men. 907 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,636 I don't know why 908 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,636 I expected anything more. 909 00:18:44,885 --> 00:18:46,218 Hello? 910 00:18:46,218 --> 00:18:48,216 I want to apologize. 911 00:18:46,218 --> 00:18:48,216 You were right. 912 00:18:48,216 --> 00:18:51,712 It did bother me that 913 00:18:48,216 --> 00:18:51,712 Ra gave you all the attention. 914 00:18:51,712 --> 00:18:54,251 He's an attractive man, 915 00:18:51,712 --> 00:18:54,251 and you're a very sexy woman. 916 00:18:54,251 --> 00:18:56,748 Of course he put his hands 917 00:18:54,251 --> 00:18:56,748 all over you. 918 00:18:56,748 --> 00:18:57,956 What? 919 00:18:56,748 --> 00:18:57,956 Ra? 920 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,329 It's Phil. 921 00:19:00,329 --> 00:19:01,161 Oh. 922 00:19:01,161 --> 00:19:03,034 B-Bye-bye! 923 00:19:03,034 --> 00:19:04,782 Claire... 924 00:19:04,782 --> 00:19:07,862 you know 925 00:19:04,782 --> 00:19:07,862 what really gets my goat? 926 00:19:07,862 --> 00:19:10,069 Okay, Lily. 927 00:19:07,862 --> 00:19:10,069 Let's do this. 928 00:19:10,069 --> 00:19:11,525 Can we just please 929 00:19:10,069 --> 00:19:11,525 give this a rest 930 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,857 until you're 931 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,857 fully recovered? 932 00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:14,273 No. Mitchell, 933 00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:14,273 we're in too deep. 934 00:19:14,273 --> 00:19:15,729 I have a broken arm, 935 00:19:14,273 --> 00:19:15,729 and I can't remember 936 00:19:15,729 --> 00:19:17,270 any of my grade-school teachers' 937 00:19:15,729 --> 00:19:17,270 names. 938 00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,893 Yeah, you've mentioned that 939 00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,893 four times now. 940 00:19:18,893 --> 00:19:20,558 Have I really? 941 00:19:18,893 --> 00:19:20,558 Yeah. 942 00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:22,681 All right. Uh, Lily, 943 00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:22,681 let's ... let's get on the bike. 944 00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:23,846 Carefully. Carefully. 945 00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:23,846 Yep. 946 00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,220 One leg at a time 947 00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,220 over. 948 00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:26,927 Feet on the pedals. 949 00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:26,927 Perfect. 950 00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:28,092 And then 951 00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:28,092 we start pedaling. 952 00:19:28,092 --> 00:19:29,258 Mitchell, 953 00:19:28,092 --> 00:19:29,258 we start pedaling. 954 00:19:29,258 --> 00:19:30,881 Good. Now let go. 955 00:19:30,881 --> 00:19:31,838 Don't let go! 956 00:19:30,881 --> 00:19:31,838 Okay. 957 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:32,921 Mitchell, let go. 958 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,502 I'm not ready. 959 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,502 She's not ready! 960 00:19:34,502 --> 00:19:35,959 Mitchell, 961 00:19:34,502 --> 00:19:35,959 sidebar, please. 962 00:19:35,959 --> 00:19:37,250 Okay. Okay. 963 00:19:35,959 --> 00:19:37,250 Stopping. 964 00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:38,956 Just put your feet down. 965 00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:38,956 Be right back. 966 00:19:38,956 --> 00:19:41,370 What's wrong, Lily? Don't you 967 00:19:38,956 --> 00:19:41,370 know how to ride a bike? 968 00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:44,243 Yeah, Sydney. I'm just 969 00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:44,243 showing him how to teach a kid. 970 00:19:44,243 --> 00:19:46,698 Okay, I'm dragging my feet 971 00:19:44,243 --> 00:19:46,698 because I have a brain injury. 972 00:19:46,698 --> 00:19:48,363 Why are you 973 00:19:46,698 --> 00:19:48,363 dragging yours, again? 974 00:19:48,363 --> 00:19:49,945 Because I don't 975 00:19:48,363 --> 00:19:49,945 want her to get hurt! 976 00:19:49,945 --> 00:19:51,818 No, see, it's not 977 00:19:49,945 --> 00:19:51,818 the worst thing in the world 978 00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,650 that she's actually 979 00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,650 starting to be cautious. 980 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,480 She used to fly off of bookcases 981 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,480 and jump off of swing sets, 982 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,520 and now she's trying 983 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,520 to protect herself. 984 00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,852 And what kind of life 985 00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,852 is she gonna have 986 00:19:59,852 --> 00:20:01,184 if she's scared 987 00:19:59,852 --> 00:20:01,184 of everything? 988 00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:02,641 A life where I don't 989 00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:02,641 have to worry about her. 990 00:20:02,641 --> 00:20:04,140 Ohh. I get it. 991 00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:05,846 So you're the one 992 00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:05,846 that's afraid. 993 00:20:05,846 --> 00:20:07,344 It's dangerous 994 00:20:05,846 --> 00:20:07,344 out there. 995 00:20:07,344 --> 00:20:09,467 T-There's so much weird stuff 996 00:20:07,344 --> 00:20:09,467 going on in the world, 997 00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:11,840 and I just... 998 00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:11,840 I want her to be safe. 999 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,504 I guess we can wait 1000 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,504 a couple weeks if she wants to. 1001 00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,503 Lily, it's ... 1002 00:20:16,418 --> 00:20:17,542 Lily? 1003 00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:19,624 Lily? 1004 00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:19,624 Cam, look! 1005 00:20:19,624 --> 00:20:22,122 Oh, my gosh! That's so great! 1006 00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:23,870 God, I hope so. 1007 00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:25,909 Ohh, everything's 1008 00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:25,909 gonna be okay. 1009 00:20:25,909 --> 00:20:27,075 Yeah. 1010 00:20:27,075 --> 00:20:29,031 Miss Tweeddale ... 1011 00:20:27,075 --> 00:20:29,031 fourth grade. 1012 00:20:29,031 --> 00:20:31,570 Mr. Kleezak! 1013 00:20:29,031 --> 00:20:31,570 Mr. Lundgren! 1014 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:32,902 I'm back! 1015 00:20:32,902 --> 00:20:34,817 Ow! Oh, my God. 1016 00:20:32,902 --> 00:20:34,817 I tol... 1017 00:20:40,686 --> 00:20:42,018 Angie, thank you so much 1018 00:20:40,686 --> 00:20:42,018 for meeting me. 1019 00:20:42,018 --> 00:20:43,266 This is my wife, 1020 00:20:42,018 --> 00:20:43,266 Claire. 1021 00:20:42,018 --> 00:20:43,266 Hi. 1022 00:20:43,266 --> 00:20:44,515 You need to know 1023 00:20:43,266 --> 00:20:44,515 that my husband 1024 00:20:44,515 --> 00:20:46,347 is the furthest thing 1025 00:20:44,515 --> 00:20:46,347 from a racist. 1026 00:20:46,347 --> 00:20:47,429 I love black women. 1027 00:20:47,429 --> 00:20:49,344 Maybe a little too much. 1028 00:20:49,344 --> 00:20:51,842 So, I told her 1029 00:20:49,344 --> 00:20:51,842 that you were white, 1030 00:20:51,842 --> 00:20:53,340 which is the only reason 1031 00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:54,922 I didn't want you 1032 00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:54,922 living across the street. 1033 00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:56,670 I didn't want her to find out 1034 00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:56,670 that I was lying. 1035 00:20:56,670 --> 00:20:57,961 Is that true? 1036 00:20:57,961 --> 00:20:59,210 Sadly, yes. 1037 00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:00,708 Well, I am relieved. 1038 00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:02,539 Although 1039 00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:02,539 it is a little offensive 1040 00:21:02,539 --> 00:21:03,871 to be reduced to a type. 1041 00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,286 Of course. 1042 00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,286 I'm sorry. 1043 00:21:05,286 --> 00:21:07,617 Hey, babe. 1044 00:21:05,286 --> 00:21:07,617 Everything okay? 1045 00:21:07,617 --> 00:21:09,240 Uh, yeah. 1046 00:21:07,617 --> 00:21:09,240 Everything's fine. 1047 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,198 It's just 1048 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,198 a big misunderstanding. 1049 00:21:11,198 --> 00:21:12,404 Uh, this is Phil. 1050 00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:13,528 Hi. 1051 00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:13,528 Hi. 1052 00:21:13,528 --> 00:21:14,735 And his wife, Claire. 1053 00:21:14,735 --> 00:21:15,568 Hi. 1054 00:21:15,568 --> 00:21:17,524 Wow. Hello. 1055 00:21:18,773 --> 00:21:20,688 Yeah, 1056 00:21:18,773 --> 00:21:20,688 apology accepted. 1057 00:21:20,688 --> 00:21:22,311 I'm on fire. 1058 00:21:25,391 --> 00:21:28,263 Captions by VITAC :