1
00:00:02,313 --> 00:00:06,396
There is my favorite girl!

2
00:00:06,396 --> 00:00:08,438
I'm so excited

3
00:00:06,396 --> 00:00:08,438
about our spa weekend!

4
00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:09,813
Oh, me too.

5
00:00:09,813 --> 00:00:11,230
If you think of it

6
00:00:09,813 --> 00:00:11,230
while you're there,

7
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:12,730
I'm dangerously low

8
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:12,730
on sunscreen powder.

9
00:00:12,730 --> 00:00:14,271
Powder?

10
00:00:14,271 --> 00:00:15,605
You know, you won't be smirking

11
00:00:14,271 --> 00:00:15,605
10 years from now

12
00:00:15,605 --> 00:00:17,855
when your face looks like

13
00:00:15,605 --> 00:00:17,855
an old apple.

14
00:00:17,855 --> 00:00:21,188
I just got my first perk as

15
00:00:17,855 --> 00:00:21,188
C.E.O. of Pritchett's Closets.

16
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,313
I finished a big job for a spa,

17
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:27,438
and as a thank-you, they sent me

18
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:27,438
a free weekend for two.

19
00:00:27,438 --> 00:00:30,021
Phil's too ticklish

20
00:00:27,438 --> 00:00:30,021
for massages, though.

21
00:00:30,021 --> 00:00:31,813
But I am not!

22
00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:33,980
I heard it's the place

23
00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:33,980
where all the stars go

24
00:00:33,980 --> 00:00:36,855
to get hot mud poured

25
00:00:33,980 --> 00:00:36,855
into their faces.

26
00:00:36,855 --> 00:00:40,521
I just can't wait to see this

27
00:00:36,855 --> 00:00:40,521
one without makeup.

28
00:00:40,521 --> 00:00:43,355
You do, it will be the last

29
00:00:40,521 --> 00:00:43,355
thing that you will ever see.

30
00:00:44,771 --> 00:00:48,146
I remember my first big perk

31
00:00:44,771 --> 00:00:48,146
for a job well-done.

32
00:00:48,146 --> 00:00:51,271
I had upgraded some closets

33
00:00:48,146 --> 00:00:51,271
for guy who created "ALF."

34
00:00:48,146 --> 00:00:51,271
Hmm.

35
00:00:51,271 --> 00:00:53,605
And six weeks later,

36
00:00:51,271 --> 00:00:53,605
I'm watching the show.

37
00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:56,646
There's ALF sassing

38
00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:56,646
this handsome mailman

39
00:00:56,646 --> 00:00:58,063
named Jay Pritchett.

40
00:00:58,063 --> 00:00:59,688
I still got it

41
00:00:58,063 --> 00:00:59,688
on Betamax.

42
00:00:59,688 --> 00:01:01,605
I remember. You showed it to me

43
00:00:59,688 --> 00:01:01,605
on our first date.

44
00:01:01,605 --> 00:01:03,271
(Cameron

45
00:01:01,605 --> 00:01:03,271
clears throat)

46
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,688
Hey.

47
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,688
Hey.

48
00:01:04,688 --> 00:01:06,980
Jay, you ready to watch

49
00:01:04,688 --> 00:01:06,980
the, uh, fight together?

50
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:08,396
Yep.

51
00:01:08,396 --> 00:01:10,730
Just two of us.

52
00:01:08,396 --> 00:01:10,730
Mm.

53
00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:12,480
I had the perfect night

54
00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:12,480
planned ...

55
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,605
alone, pay-per-view boxing ...

56
00:01:14,605 --> 00:01:17,563
The pride of Ireland

57
00:01:14,605 --> 00:01:17,563
versus a Cuban sensation.

58
00:01:17,563 --> 00:01:20,271
In the ring

59
00:01:17,563 --> 00:01:20,271
and in my bloodstream.

60
00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:22,896
Then Gloria and Mitchell

61
00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:22,896
got involved.

62
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:25,855
Jay, Cam is gonna

63
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:25,855
watch the fight, too.

64
00:01:25,855 --> 00:01:27,896
Why don't you two

65
00:01:25,855 --> 00:01:27,896
watch it together?

66
00:01:27,896 --> 00:01:29,021
Oh, good, because Cam

67
00:01:27,896 --> 00:01:29,021
was just gonna

68
00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:30,521
watch from a bar

69
00:01:29,021 --> 00:01:30,521
by himself.

70
00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:32,271
I love it. It's gonna be like

71
00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:32,271
you have a date!

72
00:01:33,813 --> 00:01:35,605
I don't know what it is,

73
00:01:33,813 --> 00:01:35,605
but Jay gets uncomfortable

74
00:01:35,605 --> 00:01:37,521
when it's just the two of us.

75
00:01:37,521 --> 00:01:40,271
And then I get uncomfortable,

76
00:01:40,271 --> 00:01:42,146
and I feel like

77
00:01:40,271 --> 00:01:42,146
I have to say something.

78
00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:44,021
Perfect. Yeah.

79
00:01:47,563 --> 00:01:49,230
Today's

80
00:01:47,563 --> 00:01:49,230
Hitler's birthday.

81
00:01:51,396 --> 00:01:52,896
Mitchell,

82
00:01:51,396 --> 00:01:52,896
we're going!

83
00:01:52,896 --> 00:01:55,396
Where is Phil?

84
00:01:52,896 --> 00:01:55,396
The theater's gonna be packed.

85
00:01:55,396 --> 00:01:57,813
Honey, your nerd friend

86
00:01:55,396 --> 00:01:57,813
is waiting.

87
00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:01,146
Who dare invoke my name?

88
00:02:01,146 --> 00:02:02,271
That's my cue.

89
00:02:02,271 --> 00:02:04,105
It is I,

90
00:02:02,271 --> 00:02:04,105
your destroyer!

91
00:02:04,105 --> 00:02:06,021
Hey, Lily,

92
00:02:04,105 --> 00:02:06,021
you sure you don't want

93
00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:07,521
to go to the movies with us?

94
00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:07,521
Last chance.

95
00:02:07,521 --> 00:02:08,896
What is it about again?

96
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,146
The Defenders of Infinity

97
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,146
are heroes

98
00:02:11,146 --> 00:02:12,771
from several

99
00:02:11,146 --> 00:02:12,771
different time streams

100
00:02:12,771 --> 00:02:14,230
that make their way

101
00:02:12,771 --> 00:02:14,230
into the future without ...

102
00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:15,730
Um, it's not really

103
00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:15,730
the future

104
00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:17,646
since the streams

105
00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:17,646
have always coexisted.

106
00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:20,230
Don't do that. Don't treat me

107
00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:20,230
like I'm a lobotomorph.

108
00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:21,646
Lily, you don't want

109
00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:21,646
to go.

110
00:02:21,646 --> 00:02:22,896
You'll be the only girl

111
00:02:21,646 --> 00:02:22,896
in the theater.

112
00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:24,105
All right,

113
00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:24,105
you guys should head out.

114
00:02:24,105 --> 00:02:25,521
We would love to.

115
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,146
Oh, and don't worry.

116
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:29,396
Lily's babysitters have

117
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:29,396
a big night planned ...

118
00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:32,146
puzzles, ping-pong,

119
00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:32,146
board games.

120
00:02:32,146 --> 00:02:34,563
Are we still in that "let

121
00:02:32,146 --> 00:02:34,563
Manny win or he cries" phase?

122
00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:36,146
No.

123
00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:37,646
We should get going. Are

124
00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:37,646
we taking separate time streams?

125
00:02:37,646 --> 00:02:39,105
Sure, if we want

126
00:02:37,646 --> 00:02:39,105
to get there yesterday.

127
00:02:55,855 --> 00:02:57,021
Ah, there's something

128
00:02:55,855 --> 00:02:57,021
so relaxing

129
00:02:57,021 --> 00:02:58,605
about a bowl

130
00:02:57,021 --> 00:02:58,605
of green apples.

131
00:02:58,605 --> 00:03:00,980
I already forgot

132
00:02:58,605 --> 00:03:00,980
all my problems.

133
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,730
Did you hear that?

134
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:05,730
What?

135
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:05,730
Exactly.

136
00:03:05,730 --> 00:03:08,688
We used WhisperQuiet gliders

137
00:03:05,730 --> 00:03:08,688
in all the drawers.

138
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,271
Oh, really cuts down

139
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,271
on C.N. ...

140
00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:13,355
It's industry jargon

141
00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:13,355
for "closet noise."

142
00:03:13,355 --> 00:03:15,855
Does that technology work

143
00:03:13,355 --> 00:03:15,855
on people, too?

144
00:03:15,855 --> 00:03:16,980
You're right.

145
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:19,105
I promise ...

146
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:19,105
No more shop talk.

147
00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:21,105
What is this?

148
00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:21,105
Oh.

149
00:03:21,105 --> 00:03:23,021
Our smoke alarm

150
00:03:21,105 --> 00:03:23,021
went off at home.

151
00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,438
I'm sure it's nothing,

152
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:27,188
but I'm still gonna call Luke

153
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:27,188
just in case.

154
00:03:27,188 --> 00:03:29,188
And it's straight

155
00:03:27,188 --> 00:03:29,188
to voicemail.

156
00:03:29,188 --> 00:03:31,896
Hello, Manny. We saw

157
00:03:29,188 --> 00:03:31,896
that the smoke alarm went off.

158
00:03:31,896 --> 00:03:33,146
Are you okay?

159
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,646
Oh, God.

160
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,646
Luke's outgoing message

161
00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:36,730
is a long

162
00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:36,730
and vaguely sexist rap.

163
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:39,146
Okay, Papi.

164
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:39,146
Stay perfect!

165
00:03:39,146 --> 00:03:40,813
Ay.

166
00:03:39,146 --> 00:03:40,813
Everything is okay.

167
00:03:40,813 --> 00:03:43,105
They were baking cookies

168
00:03:40,813 --> 00:03:43,105
and they burned a batch.

169
00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:45,146
Oh. All right.

170
00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:47,230
Except our oven

171
00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:47,230
isn't working.

172
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,355
Manny would never lie.

173
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,355
You know what?

174
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:52,188
I am gonna call

175
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:52,188
for a Russian masseuse.

176
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:54,271
Their hands are very strong

177
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:54,271
from wringing laundry.

178
00:03:54,271 --> 00:03:56,146
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

179
00:03:54,271 --> 00:03:56,146
Think about it.

180
00:03:56,146 --> 00:03:58,355
They were very eager

181
00:03:56,146 --> 00:03:58,355
to get us out of the house.

182
00:03:58,355 --> 00:03:59,771
They're up to something.

183
00:03:59,771 --> 00:04:01,105
You are too suspicious.

184
00:04:01,105 --> 00:04:02,896
And you

185
00:04:01,105 --> 00:04:02,896
are too trusting!

186
00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,646
Luke's already been arrested

187
00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,646
this year.

188
00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:06,521
A few weeks ago,

189
00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:06,521
we caught him with beer.

190
00:04:06,521 --> 00:04:08,396
Even that's a better rap.

191
00:04:08,396 --> 00:04:11,230
I'm hearing a lot of Luke's name

192
00:04:08,396 --> 00:04:11,230
and none of Manny.

193
00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:12,813
You don't think Manny's

194
00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:12,813
up to the same things

195
00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:14,063
when you're not

196
00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:14,063
paying attention?

197
00:04:14,063 --> 00:04:15,813
You're crazy.

198
00:04:14,063 --> 00:04:15,813
Manny hates beer.

199
00:04:15,813 --> 00:04:17,188
A fruity Beaujolais then.

200
00:04:17,188 --> 00:04:18,521
You can do

201
00:04:17,188 --> 00:04:18,521
whatever you want.

202
00:04:18,521 --> 00:04:19,605
I'm gonna go

203
00:04:18,521 --> 00:04:19,605
check on my kid.

204
00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:29,063
I hate how good

205
00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:29,063
those gliders are!

206
00:04:35,313 --> 00:04:37,188
I am so excited.

207
00:04:35,313 --> 00:04:37,188
I feel like a teenager.

208
00:04:37,188 --> 00:04:39,313
Me too.

209
00:04:37,188 --> 00:04:39,313
Although, as Torf the Ancient,

210
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,438
I have seen everything

211
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,438
from the Great Star Explosion

212
00:04:42,438 --> 00:04:43,855
to the Seven Moon Alliance.

213
00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:45,605
Claire was right.

214
00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:45,605
No girls.

215
00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:47,646
Phil?

216
00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:47,646
James!

217
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:48,605
Hey.

218
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:48,605
What's up?

219
00:04:50,438 --> 00:04:52,105
I sold this cool cat a house

220
00:04:50,438 --> 00:04:52,105
in the hills last year.

221
00:04:50,438 --> 00:04:52,105
Ah.

222
00:04:52,105 --> 00:04:54,188
Since then, his bluegrass band

223
00:04:52,105 --> 00:04:54,188
has really taken off.

224
00:04:54,188 --> 00:04:56,105
It's so crazy.

225
00:04:54,188 --> 00:04:56,105
We started doing it ironically,

226
00:04:56,105 --> 00:04:58,063
and before we knew it, we

227
00:04:56,105 --> 00:04:58,063
were actually doing it for real.

228
00:04:58,063 --> 00:05:00,563
That happened to me in the '90s

229
00:04:58,063 --> 00:05:00,563
with saying, "Exsqueeze me."

230
00:05:00,563 --> 00:05:02,105
Oh.

231
00:05:00,563 --> 00:05:02,105
Yeah.

232
00:05:02,105 --> 00:05:04,063
Well, I assume from

233
00:05:02,105 --> 00:05:04,063
your Torf the Ancient costume,

234
00:05:04,063 --> 00:05:06,730
and your

235
00:05:04,063 --> 00:05:06,730
pale slave getup...

236
00:05:04,063 --> 00:05:06,730
Not a costume.

237
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:09,271
that you guys are here to see

238
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:09,271
"Defenders of Infinity."

239
00:05:09,271 --> 00:05:10,396
Oh, yeah!

240
00:05:09,271 --> 00:05:10,396
Yeah.

241
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:11,605
Oh, it is

242
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:11,605
so incredible!

243
00:05:11,605 --> 00:05:13,021
Really?

244
00:05:11,605 --> 00:05:13,021
Yeah.

245
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,396
Hey, if you really want

246
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,396
to be blown away,

247
00:05:14,396 --> 00:05:16,938
I've got two special gummy bears

248
00:05:14,396 --> 00:05:16,938
you can have.

249
00:05:16,938 --> 00:05:18,480
Just one

250
00:05:16,938 --> 00:05:18,480
for each of us?

251
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,063
Believe me.

252
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,063
One is all you need.

253
00:05:20,063 --> 00:05:22,188
I guess we can get more

254
00:05:20,063 --> 00:05:22,188
at the concession stand.

255
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:24,646
No, they don't sell gummy bears

256
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:24,646
like these here.

257
00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:26,521
Ohhh.

258
00:05:26,521 --> 00:05:29,605
You get extra cool ones

259
00:05:26,521 --> 00:05:29,605
from Europe or something.

260
00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:32,396
Guys, how are you

261
00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:32,396
not getting this? It's pot.

262
00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:35,855
Ohhhh.

263
00:05:35,855 --> 00:05:38,563
I don't know why,

264
00:05:35,855 --> 00:05:38,563
but I've never tried marijuana.

265
00:05:38,563 --> 00:05:39,938
No.

266
00:05:38,563 --> 00:05:39,938
No, me neither.

267
00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:42,188
Th-There was always

268
00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:42,188
something stopping me ...

269
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:43,855
needing to take care

270
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:43,855
of Lily,

271
00:05:43,855 --> 00:05:45,605
the figure-skating

272
00:05:43,855 --> 00:05:45,605
honor code,

273
00:05:45,605 --> 00:05:47,730
not wanting to accidentally tell

274
00:05:45,605 --> 00:05:47,730
everyone in high school

275
00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:49,146
I was gay.

276
00:05:49,146 --> 00:05:50,813
People never offered it to me,

277
00:05:49,146 --> 00:05:50,813
which is weird

278
00:05:50,813 --> 00:05:53,480
because in college, I was

279
00:05:50,813 --> 00:05:53,480
kind of a big man on campus.

280
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,605
I founded

281
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,605
a major organization ...

282
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:59,646
the National Association

283
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:59,646
of Responsible Cheerleaders.

284
00:05:59,646 --> 00:06:02,313
Uh, NARCs.

285
00:05:59,646 --> 00:06:02,313
Yeah.

286
00:06:02,313 --> 00:06:05,480
Here. They take 45 minutes

287
00:06:02,313 --> 00:06:05,480
to hit, so take them now,

288
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:06,646
and you'll be good to go

289
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:06,646
when the movie starts.

290
00:06:06,646 --> 00:06:09,021
Okay.

291
00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:13,230
Um, you know, if ...

292
00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:13,230
if we ever were gonna try this,

293
00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:15,480
tonight's kind of

294
00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:15,480
the perfect opportunity.

295
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,063
I guess you're right.

296
00:06:17,063 --> 00:06:19,646
No kids.

297
00:06:17,063 --> 00:06:19,646
I'm wearing Velcro sneakers.

298
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,021
Should we?

299
00:06:21,021 --> 00:06:22,938
I've always wanted to know

300
00:06:21,021 --> 00:06:22,938
what it would be like.

301
00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,980
Plus, I went

302
00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,980
to the gym today.

303
00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:26,730
I deserve a sweet.

304
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:27,771
Let's do it.

305
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:27,771
Okay.

306
00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:30,105
I'm shaking.

307
00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:30,105
Thank you.

308
00:06:31,896 --> 00:06:33,230
Cheers.

309
00:06:31,896 --> 00:06:33,230
Cheersies.

310
00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:36,730
Subtle.

311
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,021
Chew smaller.

312
00:06:39,521 --> 00:06:40,688
'Sup?

313
00:06:43,688 --> 00:06:45,438
Oh, my God.

314
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,313
I cannot believe we're

315
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,313
doing this. This is so exciting.

316
00:06:47,313 --> 00:06:48,730
Uh-oh.

317
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,188
Oh, God. I knew this was

318
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,188
a horrible mistake.

319
00:06:50,188 --> 00:06:52,563
I just got an alert.

320
00:06:50,188 --> 00:06:52,563
Our smoke alarm when off!

321
00:06:55,313 --> 00:06:56,646
It's not coming up.

322
00:06:56,646 --> 00:06:58,688
Okay, okay.

323
00:06:58,688 --> 00:07:01,730
Relax. I'm gonna ... I'm gonna

324
00:06:58,688 --> 00:07:01,730
call Luke, find out what's up.

325
00:06:58,688 --> 00:07:01,730
Yeah.

326
00:07:04,438 --> 00:07:06,563
Voicemail.

327
00:07:06,563 --> 00:07:08,938
This rap's hilarious, though.

328
00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:10,646
Call Claire.

329
00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:10,646
She's not home.

330
00:07:10,646 --> 00:07:11,980
We're gonna have to

331
00:07:10,646 --> 00:07:11,980
check this out.

332
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,855
No, come on.

333
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:13,855
Those alerts are always nothing.

334
00:07:13,855 --> 00:07:16,813
Plus...

335
00:07:13,855 --> 00:07:16,813
our crime.

336
00:07:16,813 --> 00:07:18,771
Listen, we have

337
00:07:16,813 --> 00:07:18,771
assigned seats

338
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,938
and 45 minutes

339
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,938
till this kicks in.

340
00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:23,021
That gives us plenty of time

341
00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:23,021
to Uber home,

342
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:25,313
make sure everything's fine,

343
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:25,313
touch up my veins, and get back.

344
00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:27,605
I'll set an alarm so we know

345
00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:27,605
exactly when it hits.

346
00:07:27,605 --> 00:07:29,855
No, you're right. Lily's there.

347
00:07:27,605 --> 00:07:29,855
Yes, yes. Let's go.

348
00:07:29,855 --> 00:07:31,271
Plus, we're not gonna

349
00:07:29,855 --> 00:07:31,271
want to deal with this

350
00:07:31,271 --> 00:07:32,438
when we're high

351
00:07:31,271 --> 00:07:32,438
and paranoid.

352
00:07:32,438 --> 00:07:33,938
Oh. Oh, God.

353
00:07:33,938 --> 00:07:36,230
Do you think the paranoia

354
00:07:33,938 --> 00:07:36,230
will be bad?

355
00:07:41,605 --> 00:07:44,646
(bell dings,

356
00:07:41,605 --> 00:07:44,646
boxing announcer talking on TV)

357
00:07:44,646 --> 00:07:47,146
So, how's

358
00:07:44,646 --> 00:07:47,146
the closet business?

359
00:07:47,146 --> 00:07:50,063
I retired two months ago.

360
00:07:47,146 --> 00:07:50,063
Right. Right.

361
00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:55,771
Uh, getting our carpets cleaned

362
00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:55,771
next month.

363
00:07:58,271 --> 00:08:00,355
Oh, come on.

364
00:07:58,271 --> 00:08:00,355
That's ridiculous.

365
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,980
Hernandez has this fight

366
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,980
in the bag.

367
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,355
Yeah, it's gonna be

368
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,355
such a cakewalk.

369
00:08:03,355 --> 00:08:04,521
He shouldn't even

370
00:08:03,355 --> 00:08:04,521
be getting paid for it.

371
00:08:04,521 --> 00:08:06,146
Can you believe

372
00:08:04,521 --> 00:08:06,146
these guys?

373
00:08:06,146 --> 00:08:08,396
Hey, no disrespect, but

374
00:08:06,146 --> 00:08:08,396
if O'Brien's even halfway sober,

375
00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:10,355
he takes

376
00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:10,355
Hernandez apart.

377
00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:12,021
Yeah, he's got

378
00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:12,021
a better reach, better jab,

379
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:13,896
and I haven't seen feet

380
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:13,896
that fast since Riverdance.

381
00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:15,730
You guys seem

382
00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:15,730
pretty confident.

383
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:17,688
Uh, care to make

384
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:17,688
a friendly $10 bet?

385
00:08:17,688 --> 00:08:19,480
We'll take it.

386
00:08:17,688 --> 00:08:19,480
Easiest money I ever made.

387
00:08:17,688 --> 00:08:19,480
Yeah.

388
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,021
You're crazy.

389
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,021
O'Brien is a mook.

390
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,355
Well, Hernandez is

391
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,355
a palooka.

392
00:08:22,355 --> 00:08:24,146
I'd rather be a palooka

393
00:08:22,355 --> 00:08:24,146
than a mook.

394
00:08:24,146 --> 00:08:26,938
Well, that's a lot of talk

395
00:08:24,146 --> 00:08:26,938
coming from a couple jabronis.

396
00:08:29,188 --> 00:08:32,105
Cam, calm down.

397
00:08:29,188 --> 00:08:32,105
We're just having fun here.

398
00:08:32,105 --> 00:08:34,313
Really?

399
00:08:32,105 --> 00:08:34,313
That's ... That's the line?

400
00:08:36,855 --> 00:08:38,063
What happened?

401
00:08:38,063 --> 00:08:39,688
Damn it!

402
00:08:38,063 --> 00:08:39,688
O'Brien knocked him out!

403
00:08:39,688 --> 00:08:41,896
Already?

404
00:08:39,688 --> 00:08:41,896
We missed the whole thing!

405
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,355
We're backed up

406
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,355
in the kitchen.

407
00:08:43,355 --> 00:08:44,730
Sorry, guys.

408
00:08:43,355 --> 00:08:44,730
Your food's gonna be a while.

409
00:08:47,563 --> 00:08:49,021
I thought about leaving,

410
00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:50,605
but I didn't want

411
00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:50,605
to make Jay feel bad.

412
00:08:50,605 --> 00:08:52,605
I had a sandwich coming.

413
00:08:57,355 --> 00:08:59,771
I told you.

414
00:08:57,355 --> 00:08:59,771
Nothing!

415
00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:02,688
A little too much nothing,

416
00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:02,688
if you ask me.

417
00:09:05,938 --> 00:09:07,646
Hey, what are you guys

418
00:09:05,938 --> 00:09:07,646
doing here?

419
00:09:07,646 --> 00:09:09,480
I forgot my slippers.

420
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,105
Doesn't the hotel

421
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,105
have slippers?

422
00:09:11,105 --> 00:09:12,688
I'll be

423
00:09:11,105 --> 00:09:12,688
asking the questions.

424
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,438
How did you manage

425
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,438
to burn chocolate-chip cookies

426
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:15,855
in an oven

427
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:15,855
that doesn't work?

428
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,063
Oh, Manny

429
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,063
meant pancakes.

430
00:09:18,063 --> 00:09:19,771
We're making

431
00:09:18,063 --> 00:09:19,771
chocolate-chip pancakes.

432
00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:26,938
You see?

433
00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:26,938
Now, let's go.

434
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:29,980
Somebody named Olga should be

435
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:29,980
salting me like a pretzel!

436
00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:31,563
Mm.

437
00:09:31,563 --> 00:09:33,688
Mm-hmm.

438
00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:36,021
Is everything okay?

439
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:38,063
Oh, yes.

440
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:38,063
It was just a false alarm.

441
00:09:38,063 --> 00:09:39,646
Well, then we should probably

442
00:09:38,063 --> 00:09:39,646
get back to the theater.

443
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,230
Those pre-movie

444
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,230
trivia questions

445
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,896
aren't gonna answer themselves,

446
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,896
are they?

447
00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:44,521
Actually, they do.

448
00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:44,521
Wait a minute!

449
00:09:46,105 --> 00:09:49,063
What the hell is

450
00:09:46,105 --> 00:09:49,063
going on...

451
00:09:49,063 --> 00:09:51,438
here, huh?

452
00:09:51,438 --> 00:09:53,063
Yep.

453
00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:55,021
I smell cheap beer.

454
00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:55,021
Someone's been having a party.

455
00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:57,396
Claire, you're

456
00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:57,396
just being crazy.

457
00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,646
Take a look around!

458
00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,646
Nothing is going on!

459
00:09:59,646 --> 00:10:01,896
There is no party!

460
00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:03,813
Everyone just be cool!

461
00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,313
See that story

462
00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,313
about the one-armed golfer?

463
00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,313
No.

464
00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:13,271
Yeah, well,

465
00:10:09,313 --> 00:10:13,271
it's this guy and he's...

466
00:10:13,271 --> 00:10:16,063
Well, I guess that's it.

467
00:10:13,271 --> 00:10:16,063
He's ... He's a one-armed golfer.

468
00:10:16,063 --> 00:10:17,605
Oh.

469
00:10:17,605 --> 00:10:20,688
How backed up

470
00:10:17,605 --> 00:10:20,688
is that kitchen?

471
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,146
Hey!

472
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,146
These guys!

473
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:23,730
Hey, you rascals.

474
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:23,730
Get over here.

475
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,230
We're on our way out.

476
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:26,896
No! Don't you want a chance

477
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:26,896
to win your money back?

478
00:10:26,896 --> 00:10:28,271
It's 5 bucks each.

479
00:10:26,896 --> 00:10:28,271
We're good.

480
00:10:28,271 --> 00:10:29,438
No! Come on!

481
00:10:29,438 --> 00:10:30,605
It'll be fun.

482
00:10:30,605 --> 00:10:31,938
Dude,

483
00:10:30,605 --> 00:10:31,938
you're hurting my arm.

484
00:10:31,938 --> 00:10:33,438
No, a game of foosball,

485
00:10:31,938 --> 00:10:33,438
double or nothing.

486
00:10:33,438 --> 00:10:34,730
I don't think ...

487
00:10:33,438 --> 00:10:34,730
You're on!

488
00:10:33,438 --> 00:10:34,730
Let's go!

489
00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:35,855
Let's go!

490
00:10:35,855 --> 00:10:38,355
Phil, uh,

491
00:10:35,855 --> 00:10:38,355
how long do we have?

492
00:10:38,355 --> 00:10:39,855
17 minutes.

493
00:10:39,855 --> 00:10:41,355
Till the movie,

494
00:10:39,855 --> 00:10:41,355
is what we're talking about.

495
00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:43,605
We're just two guys

496
00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:43,605
seeing a movie.

497
00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:45,396
No one's leaving here until

498
00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:45,396
we get to the bottom of this.

499
00:10:45,396 --> 00:10:47,646
Oh, my God.

500
00:10:45,396 --> 00:10:47,646
Somebody give me a back rub!

501
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:49,396
Manny! Luke!

502
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:49,396
Get in here!

503
00:10:49,396 --> 00:10:51,230
You guys go search the house.

504
00:10:49,396 --> 00:10:51,230
Find something suspicious.

505
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,021
Is this gonna be like

506
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,021
loading the dishwasher?

507
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,438
First I load it,

508
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,438
then you reload it?

509
00:10:54,438 --> 00:10:55,563
Wouldn't it be faster

510
00:10:54,438 --> 00:10:55,563
if you actually ...

511
00:10:55,563 --> 00:10:56,980
Phil, go!

512
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,063
What's so important?

513
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,063
I'm sitting for my portrait.

514
00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:02,105
Oh, knock it off.

515
00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:02,105
I know you two threw a party.

516
00:11:02,105 --> 00:11:03,813
I don't "throw"

517
00:11:02,105 --> 00:11:03,813
a party, Claire.

518
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:05,396
It's true.

519
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:05,396
He can't throw anything.

520
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:06,688
And if I were hosting

521
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:06,688
an event,

522
00:11:06,688 --> 00:11:08,063
where did I put

523
00:11:06,688 --> 00:11:08,063
the ice sculpture?

524
00:11:08,063 --> 00:11:09,730
Where did I stash

525
00:11:08,063 --> 00:11:09,730
the hors d'oeuvres?

526
00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:11,646
Where did I hide

527
00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:11,646
the jazz trio?

528
00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:14,021
Good question, considering you

529
00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:14,021
couldn't even hide...

530
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,855
the Solo.

531
00:11:15,855 --> 00:11:17,438
Nice wordplay, Mom,

532
00:11:17,438 --> 00:11:19,438
but that cup's been there

533
00:11:17,438 --> 00:11:19,438
for like three days.

534
00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:21,771
I didn't want to say anything

535
00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:21,771
'cause I thought it was yours.

536
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,688
Yeah.

537
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,688
It was bold.

538
00:11:25,688 --> 00:11:28,188
But those kids upstairs weren't

539
00:11:25,688 --> 00:11:28,188
gonna stay quiet forever.

540
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,896
I was one

541
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,896
dead phone battery away

542
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:31,688
from a conversation

543
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:31,688
breaking out.

544
00:11:34,063 --> 00:11:35,855
Sure, throwing a party

545
00:11:34,063 --> 00:11:35,855
was a risk,

546
00:11:35,855 --> 00:11:38,813
but two hot exchange students

547
00:11:35,855 --> 00:11:38,813
just started at our school.

548
00:11:38,813 --> 00:11:40,688
Best part is,

549
00:11:38,813 --> 00:11:40,688
they don't understand

550
00:11:40,688 --> 00:11:42,605
just how uncool we are.

551
00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,230
Yet.

552
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:45,855
So, we were walking

553
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:45,855
down the hallway

554
00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:47,063
when we stopped

555
00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:47,063
by the locker ...

556
00:11:47,063 --> 00:11:48,646
Ohh, pizza day.

557
00:11:50,688 --> 00:11:51,813
Mmm.

558
00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:55,771
That's our

559
00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:55,771
personal trainer.

560
00:11:55,771 --> 00:11:57,521
He hates it

561
00:11:55,771 --> 00:11:57,521
when we eat carbs.

562
00:11:57,521 --> 00:12:00,396
We had a short window.

563
00:11:57,521 --> 00:12:00,396
We needed to impress them fast.

564
00:12:00,396 --> 00:12:02,980
So, we bribed Lily with

565
00:12:00,396 --> 00:12:02,980
all the soda she could drink

566
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:04,521
and threw a party.

567
00:12:04,521 --> 00:12:06,438
It was going great

568
00:12:04,521 --> 00:12:06,438
until someone set off the alarm

569
00:12:06,438 --> 00:12:08,938
because he just had to smoke

570
00:12:06,438 --> 00:12:08,938
his dorky pipe.

571
00:12:08,938 --> 00:12:11,855
Dorky? Yeah, because Hugh Hefner

572
00:12:08,938 --> 00:12:11,855
doesn't get girls.

573
00:12:13,188 --> 00:12:15,230
I love you, too, Mommy.

574
00:12:16,563 --> 00:12:18,521
All clear, party people!

575
00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:22,063
I told her

576
00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:22,063
we were baking cookies.

577
00:12:22,063 --> 00:12:23,855
Dude,

578
00:12:22,063 --> 00:12:23,855
our oven's broken.

579
00:12:23,855 --> 00:12:26,188
My mom's definitely gonna

580
00:12:23,855 --> 00:12:26,188
get suspicious and check on us.

581
00:12:26,188 --> 00:12:27,771
That means

582
00:12:26,188 --> 00:12:27,771
my mom's coming, too.

583
00:12:27,771 --> 00:12:29,230
I'll get everyone

584
00:12:27,771 --> 00:12:29,230
to leave,

585
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,438
you get rid of the beer

586
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,438
and your idea of a spread.

587
00:12:31,438 --> 00:12:33,896
Wait.

588
00:12:31,438 --> 00:12:33,896
We're not giving up yet.

589
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:35,771
The beer pong tournament

590
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:35,771
just started,

591
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,646
the girls are laughing

592
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,646
at all of our jokes,

593
00:12:37,646 --> 00:12:40,730
and they think we're friends

594
00:12:37,646 --> 00:12:40,730
with guys like Tommy Cutahee.

595
00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:42,063
Great party, Lewis.

596
00:12:42,063 --> 00:12:43,646
Thanks, Tommy.

597
00:12:43,646 --> 00:12:45,188
From now on, I'm Lewis.

598
00:12:45,188 --> 00:12:46,771
We're going to get caught

599
00:12:45,188 --> 00:12:46,771
if we do nothing.

600
00:12:46,771 --> 00:12:48,230
What if we hide everyone

601
00:12:46,771 --> 00:12:48,230
long enough

602
00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:49,563
for my mom to check on us

603
00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:49,563
and then leave?

604
00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:51,521
It's not worth it.

605
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:55,771
Guys, when do we play

606
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:55,771
Seven Hours in Heaven?

607
00:12:55,771 --> 00:12:59,271
Moving the party upstairs,

608
00:12:55,771 --> 00:12:59,271
people!

609
00:13:00,438 --> 00:13:02,021
Okay. No one's here.

610
00:13:00,438 --> 00:13:02,021
Okay.

611
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,896
Is that

612
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,896
your watch alarm?

613
00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:05,313
We have to

614
00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:05,313
get out of here!

615
00:13:05,313 --> 00:13:06,771
I do not want to be high

616
00:13:05,313 --> 00:13:06,771
in front of Claire!

617
00:13:06,771 --> 00:13:07,980
Wait.

618
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,480
I think

619
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,480
I'm feeling something.

620
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,105
Oh, no.

621
00:13:11,105 --> 00:13:13,271
What are you feeling?

622
00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:14,271
Nice.

623
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,896
Oh, God.

624
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,396
Are you

625
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,396
feeling anything?

626
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:18,980
No.

627
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:20,396
Then why are you leaning

628
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:20,396
like that?

629
00:13:20,396 --> 00:13:21,938
I'm not leaning.

630
00:13:21,938 --> 00:13:23,980
Maybe you're leaning

631
00:13:21,938 --> 00:13:23,980
so it looks like I'm leaning.

632
00:13:27,063 --> 00:13:29,230
Oh, yeah.

633
00:13:27,063 --> 00:13:29,230
You're right.

634
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:31,063
Phil, what are you doing?

635
00:13:31,063 --> 00:13:32,271
Still searching!

636
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,313
Anything suspicious?

637
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,313
Say nothing.

638
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,438
Okay.

639
00:13:36,438 --> 00:13:37,938
Phil?

640
00:13:37,938 --> 00:13:39,688
Answer her!

641
00:13:37,938 --> 00:13:39,688
You said "say nothing."

642
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,813
I mean say

643
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,813
the word "nothing."

644
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,813
Word.

645
00:13:44,271 --> 00:13:46,771
Nothing!

646
00:13:46,771 --> 00:13:49,146
That was so good.

647
00:13:46,771 --> 00:13:49,146
Thanks, man.

648
00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:51,271
Okay, Phillip.

649
00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:51,271
Focus.

650
00:13:51,271 --> 00:13:53,021
We have to finish

651
00:13:51,271 --> 00:13:53,021
searching this house

652
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:55,313
before we start

653
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:55,313
acting weird or...

654
00:13:57,105 --> 00:13:58,188
Yeah.

655
00:13:58,188 --> 00:14:00,105
Nothing!

656
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,271
That was so great.

657
00:14:02,271 --> 00:14:04,730
Yeah, I learned

658
00:14:02,271 --> 00:14:04,730
from the best.

659
00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:06,813
Come on, you jerk. Get in there,

660
00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:06,813
you son of a bitch!

661
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:09,105
Oh, yeah, baby.

662
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:09,105
Here we go.

663
00:14:09,105 --> 00:14:10,605
That's what your sister

664
00:14:09,105 --> 00:14:10,605
said last night

665
00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:11,688
when I was banging her.

666
00:14:11,688 --> 00:14:13,271
What?

667
00:14:11,688 --> 00:14:13,271
Aw, damn it, Vic!

668
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,313
Cam was banging Vic's sister.

669
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:21,646
Classic!

670
00:14:24,938 --> 00:14:26,855
Oh,

671
00:14:24,938 --> 00:14:26,855
just hit it already.

672
00:14:26,855 --> 00:14:28,896
That's what your sister said

673
00:14:26,855 --> 00:14:28,896
to Cam last night

674
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,313
when he was banging her.

675
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,313
Did I do it?

676
00:14:30,313 --> 00:14:32,021
You're so good!

677
00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:33,813
Yes!

678
00:14:35,521 --> 00:14:38,813
Manny, Manny... Manny.

679
00:14:38,813 --> 00:14:40,938
How did we get here?

680
00:14:40,938 --> 00:14:42,980
You're a good kid.

681
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:44,605
You didn't have anything

682
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:44,605
to do with this.

683
00:14:44,605 --> 00:14:47,146
You were in the wrong place

684
00:14:44,605 --> 00:14:47,146
at the wrong time. Am I right?

685
00:14:47,146 --> 00:14:49,105
But someone's going down

686
00:14:47,146 --> 00:14:49,105
for this.

687
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:52,396
You think it'll be

688
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:52,396
the white kid? Hmm?

689
00:14:52,396 --> 00:14:54,146
Psst! Claire!

690
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,646
What are you doing?

691
00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,480
I am trying

692
00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,480
to get to the truth.

693
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,480
The only way I'm gonna find out

694
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,480
what really happened here

695
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,355
is to get those two clowns

696
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,355
to turn on each other.

697
00:15:05,355 --> 00:15:06,855
Nothing happened here!

698
00:15:06,855 --> 00:15:08,230
And even if it had,

699
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:10,396
Manny's not gonna rat out

700
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:10,396
his best friend!

701
00:15:10,396 --> 00:15:12,730
I think I'm gonna take the deal.

702
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,021
No!

703
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:15,396
You cave,

704
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:15,396
we don't stand a chance

705
00:15:15,396 --> 00:15:16,896
with those

706
00:15:15,396 --> 00:15:16,896
exchange students.

707
00:15:16,896 --> 00:15:18,646
Those girls don't respect

708
00:15:16,896 --> 00:15:18,646
weak, little nerds

709
00:15:18,646 --> 00:15:20,396
afraid of being punished

710
00:15:18,646 --> 00:15:20,396
by their mommies.

711
00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:21,896
They've

712
00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:21,896
lived through wars.

713
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:23,230
They're from Portugal!

714
00:15:26,063 --> 00:15:27,438
Whoa. I heard something.

715
00:15:27,438 --> 00:15:29,563
Did you hear something?

716
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:30,855
No.

717
00:15:30,855 --> 00:15:33,313
Am I screaming

718
00:15:30,855 --> 00:15:33,313
right now?

719
00:15:35,188 --> 00:15:36,771
No.

720
00:15:35,188 --> 00:15:36,771
Okay.

721
00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:38,646
Stay cool.

722
00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:38,646
We're almost out of here.

723
00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:44,688
All clear.

724
00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:46,230
Let's just check

725
00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:46,230
Luke's room.

726
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:48,855
Then we can tell Claire

727
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:48,855
we didn't find anything.

728
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,771
Okay, there's two ways

729
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,771
we can play this.

730
00:15:57,771 --> 00:15:59,105
Okay.

731
00:16:04,355 --> 00:16:05,771
Okay, if we tell

732
00:16:04,355 --> 00:16:05,771
Claire about those kids,

733
00:16:05,771 --> 00:16:06,938
we're gonna have to stay here

734
00:16:05,771 --> 00:16:06,938
and punish Manny

735
00:16:06,938 --> 00:16:08,855
and the, uh ...

736
00:16:06,938 --> 00:16:08,855
the other one.

737
00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:10,896
That's no good!

738
00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:13,480
I don't think we can hide

739
00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:13,480
our crime!

740
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,771
Well, then what if

741
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,771
we don't tell her?

742
00:16:14,771 --> 00:16:16,105
Does ... Does that make us

743
00:16:14,771 --> 00:16:16,105
bad parents?

744
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,730
Or are we bad parents

745
00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:19,521
because we're punishing our kids

746
00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:19,521
while we are high?

747
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,438
We're bad parents

748
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,438
either way!

749
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,438
This is a nightmare.

750
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,605
Oh, hey, guys.

751
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,605
Hey, cupcake!

752
00:16:23,605 --> 00:16:25,355
Do I call her "cupcake"?

753
00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:26,730
Don't worry,

754
00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:26,730
I'll make it normal.

755
00:16:26,730 --> 00:16:28,480
What's going on, cupcake?

756
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,855
Are you guys okay?

757
00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:33,438
Yeah.

758
00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:33,438
Yeah, we're okay.

759
00:16:30,855 --> 00:16:33,438
Why wouldn't we be okay?

760
00:16:33,438 --> 00:16:34,938
Cupcake.

761
00:16:34,938 --> 00:16:37,480
I was so drunk,

762
00:16:34,938 --> 00:16:37,480
I thought they were stoned.

763
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,021
Luke... Luke... Luke.

764
00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:45,188
Keeping a secret like this

765
00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:45,188
is tough ...

766
00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:47,021
eats away

767
00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:47,021
at a man's soul.

768
00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:49,146
Mom,

769
00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:49,146
I have one question ...

770
00:16:49,146 --> 00:16:51,146
Why do you hate

771
00:16:49,146 --> 00:16:51,146
yourself?

772
00:16:51,146 --> 00:16:52,813
What?

773
00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:55,521
You have one night in a spa

774
00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:55,521
to be massaged and pampered,

775
00:16:55,521 --> 00:16:57,480
but you're here.

776
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,563
Why don't you think

777
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,563
you deserve happiness?

778
00:16:59,563 --> 00:17:02,813
That's the mystery

779
00:16:59,563 --> 00:17:02,813
I'm interested in solving today.

780
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,855
What is that?

781
00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:09,563
That is the sound

782
00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:09,563
of a party, Gloria, huh?

783
00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:11,271
Ay, Manny!

784
00:17:12,771 --> 00:17:15,730
Tomorrow's gonna be one awkward

785
00:17:12,771 --> 00:17:15,730
mother/son mambo class.

786
00:17:17,605 --> 00:17:20,230
Oh, boom!

787
00:17:17,605 --> 00:17:20,230
Next up,

788
00:17:17,605 --> 00:17:20,230
I paddle your mother.

789
00:17:21,396 --> 00:17:22,896
Dad.

790
00:17:21,396 --> 00:17:22,896
Claire!

791
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:24,688
Hey, this is

792
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:24,688
my actual daughter.

793
00:17:24,688 --> 00:17:26,188
You came up

794
00:17:24,688 --> 00:17:26,188
a few times tonight.

795
00:17:26,188 --> 00:17:27,396
So has my "wife."

796
00:17:27,396 --> 00:17:28,813
What are you doing here?

797
00:17:28,813 --> 00:17:30,605
We ran out of games to bet on

798
00:17:28,813 --> 00:17:30,605
at the bar.

799
00:17:30,605 --> 00:17:33,980
Claire... there's something

800
00:17:30,605 --> 00:17:33,980
we have to tell you.

801
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:37,480
What did we decide

802
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:37,480
to do again?

803
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,438
We, uh...

804
00:17:39,438 --> 00:17:41,605
We're g...

805
00:17:39,438 --> 00:17:41,605
We're gonna need a minute.

806
00:17:41,605 --> 00:17:44,896
I told you there was nothing

807
00:17:41,605 --> 00:17:44,896
going on with the boys.

808
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:46,730
You're right.

809
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:49,271
Boys, I apologize.

810
00:17:49,271 --> 00:17:50,521
We can confirm

811
00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:52,813
that there's

812
00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:52,813
nothing suspicious anywhere.

813
00:17:59,396 --> 00:18:01,646
Sorry about

814
00:17:59,396 --> 00:18:01,646
your table, Lewis.

815
00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:02,771
I have another party.

816
00:18:04,855 --> 00:18:07,105
Oh, I knew it!

817
00:18:07,105 --> 00:18:09,021
I knew these two

818
00:18:07,105 --> 00:18:09,021
were up to something.

819
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,730
What do you think about

820
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,730
your precious Manny now, huh?

821
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:12,730
I am sure

822
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:12,730
it was Luke's idea!

823
00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:14,730
But do not give up

824
00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:14,730
on him yet.

825
00:18:14,730 --> 00:18:16,771
I know that there is a camp

826
00:18:14,730 --> 00:18:16,771
up in the mountains

827
00:18:16,771 --> 00:18:18,105
where you can send

828
00:18:16,771 --> 00:18:18,105
bad kids.

829
00:18:18,105 --> 00:18:20,605
No, it was

830
00:18:18,105 --> 00:18:20,605
my idea, too.

831
00:18:20,605 --> 00:18:22,146
I'm the one who set off

832
00:18:20,605 --> 00:18:22,146
the smoke alarm.

833
00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:24,313
I'm the one who bribed Lily

834
00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:24,313
with soda.

835
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:26,355
I'm the one who put a red

836
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:26,355
light bulb in the laundry room

837
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,188
to give it a sexy vibe.

838
00:18:28,188 --> 00:18:31,146
You've got to stop thinking of

839
00:18:28,188 --> 00:18:31,146
me as your perfect little boy.

840
00:18:31,146 --> 00:18:33,646
Honey.

841
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,813
There's a party upstairs.

842
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,813
Party upstairs.

843
00:18:37,938 --> 00:18:40,813
I cannot believe

844
00:18:37,938 --> 00:18:40,813
that my baby lied to me.

845
00:18:40,813 --> 00:18:43,230
I cannot believe

846
00:18:40,813 --> 00:18:43,230
my baby accepted a bribe.

847
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:45,521
I'd be more concerned

848
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:45,521
with how natural she is

849
00:18:45,521 --> 00:18:47,813
with that bottle

850
00:18:45,521 --> 00:18:47,813
in her hands.

851
00:18:45,521 --> 00:18:47,813
Okay.

852
00:18:47,813 --> 00:18:50,271
I shouldn't trust my kid

853
00:18:47,813 --> 00:18:50,271
so much.

854
00:18:50,271 --> 00:18:53,355
I have to be more like Claire

855
00:18:50,271 --> 00:18:53,355
and not trust anybody.

856
00:18:53,355 --> 00:18:55,438
I didn't want to be right,

857
00:18:53,355 --> 00:18:55,438
but I am.

858
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,021
So

859
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,021
here we are.

860
00:18:57,021 --> 00:18:58,938
At least

861
00:18:57,021 --> 00:18:58,938
we still have Alex.

862
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,438
You guys don't have

863
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,438
any good kids,

864
00:19:00,438 --> 00:19:02,355
so who's the bad parent

865
00:19:00,438 --> 00:19:02,355
now, huh?

866
00:19:02,355 --> 00:19:03,855
Nobody.

867
00:19:02,355 --> 00:19:03,855
Phil, no, don't.

868
00:19:03,855 --> 00:19:05,271
No, no.

869
00:19:03,855 --> 00:19:05,271
I got this.

870
00:19:05,271 --> 00:19:08,730
Claire, I know

871
00:19:05,271 --> 00:19:08,730
why you're always worried.

872
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,646
Because you don't know

873
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,646
what's going to happen.

874
00:19:11,646 --> 00:19:17,521
It's called fear of the future,

875
00:19:11,646 --> 00:19:17,521
or "fof" or "fotf."

876
00:19:17,521 --> 00:19:21,230
But spoiler alert ...

877
00:19:17,521 --> 00:19:21,230
It's gonna be great.

878
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:25,646
Guys, I have two words

879
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:25,646
for you ...

880
00:19:25,646 --> 00:19:28,105
think about time travel.

881
00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:30,688
If you could go forward in time

882
00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:30,688
and turn around

883
00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:33,271
and look at this moment,

884
00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:33,271
we would say,

885
00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:35,646
"This is all super chill."

886
00:19:35,646 --> 00:19:38,021
Our kids are good people.

887
00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:39,855
They turn out great.

888
00:19:39,855 --> 00:19:41,938
Phil's right.

889
00:19:39,855 --> 00:19:41,938
Really?

890
00:19:41,938 --> 00:19:44,063
Oh, t-then here's

891
00:19:41,938 --> 00:19:44,063
something, too.

892
00:19:44,063 --> 00:19:47,396
When I was younger,

893
00:19:44,063 --> 00:19:47,396
I never thought I would be here.

894
00:19:47,396 --> 00:19:48,938
And here I am.

895
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,021
What the hell

896
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,021
does that mean?

897
00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:52,271
Oh, God.

898
00:19:52,271 --> 00:19:54,396
Look,

899
00:19:52,271 --> 00:19:54,396
you got to relax.

900
00:19:54,396 --> 00:19:55,855
They're going to be fine.

901
00:19:55,855 --> 00:19:58,855
People have a way

902
00:19:55,855 --> 00:19:58,855
of surprising you.

903
00:19:58,855 --> 00:20:01,146
Yes, you see, we had

904
00:19:58,855 --> 00:20:01,146
our own journey tonight ...

905
00:20:01,146 --> 00:20:03,646
an unlikely duo

906
00:20:01,146 --> 00:20:03,646
thrust together.

907
00:20:03,646 --> 00:20:04,980
Not your moment, Cam.

908
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:06,396
Oh, right.

909
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:06,396
I'll send a group e-mail.

910
00:20:06,396 --> 00:20:08,063
Honey, don't worry.

911
00:20:08,063 --> 00:20:10,313
You're better parents

912
00:20:08,063 --> 00:20:10,313
than Dede and I ever were,

913
00:20:10,313 --> 00:20:11,771
and you turned out

914
00:20:10,313 --> 00:20:11,771
all right.

915
00:20:11,771 --> 00:20:13,063
Thanks, Dad.

916
00:20:13,063 --> 00:20:14,688
But what do we do now?

917
00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:15,938
Are we just supposed to

918
00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:15,938
let these kids off the hook

919
00:20:15,938 --> 00:20:17,646
because we were as bad

920
00:20:15,938 --> 00:20:17,646
as they are?

921
00:20:17,646 --> 00:20:18,980
No.

922
00:20:17,646 --> 00:20:18,980
We'll be hypocrites.

923
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,271
Mm.

924
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,271
Like all parents!

925
00:20:20,271 --> 00:20:21,605
Luke! Manny!

926
00:20:21,605 --> 00:20:23,313
Get your asses in here!

927
00:20:23,313 --> 00:20:25,646
Also, am I the only one

928
00:20:23,313 --> 00:20:25,646
that sees

929
00:20:25,646 --> 00:20:27,355
that these two idiots

930
00:20:25,646 --> 00:20:27,355
are high as kites?

931
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:30,313
Mitchell?

932
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,230
Oh, my God.

933
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,230
She is still going.

934
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,188
How much soda

935
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,188
did she have?

936
00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:40,896
You know, when you and Mitchell

937
00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:40,896
first got together,

938
00:20:40,896 --> 00:20:42,938
you used to ask me

939
00:20:40,896 --> 00:20:42,938
to do a lot of stuff.

940
00:20:42,938 --> 00:20:44,813
I was new to the family,

941
00:20:42,938 --> 00:20:44,813
and I ...

942
00:20:44,813 --> 00:20:46,480
I really wanted you

943
00:20:44,813 --> 00:20:46,480
to like me.

944
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,480
But I always seemed to be

945
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,480
too much, too demonstrative,

946
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,730
too dramatic...

947
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,730
so I stopped.

948
00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:54,355
Well, I had fun tonight.

949
00:20:54,355 --> 00:20:56,271
I wouldn't mind

950
00:20:54,355 --> 00:20:56,271
if you still chased me

951
00:20:56,271 --> 00:20:57,521
a little bit sometimes.

952
00:20:57,521 --> 00:20:58,730
Oh, Jay.

953
00:20:57,521 --> 00:20:58,730
Get in here.

954
00:20:58,730 --> 00:21:00,730
It's going too fast.

955
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,480
I'm ... I'm sorry.

956
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,480
Baby steps.

957
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,063
No, the treadmill's about to

958
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,063
launch her through the drywall.

959
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,438
Lily!

960
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,438
Daddy!

961
00:21:09,521 --> 00:21:12,396
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