1
00:00:03,188 --> 00:00:04,521
Come on, Joe.

2
00:00:03,188 --> 00:00:04,521
Buff that sucker.

3
00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:05,646
What'd I teach you?

4
00:00:05,646 --> 00:00:07,188
Sanitary.

5
00:00:07,188 --> 00:00:09,938
Is Joe applying for a job

6
00:00:07,188 --> 00:00:09,938
in a train station in 1940?

7
00:00:09,938 --> 00:00:12,438
Just teaching him a few things

8
00:00:09,938 --> 00:00:12,438
every man should know.

9
00:00:12,438 --> 00:00:13,896
Someone has

10
00:00:12,438 --> 00:00:13,896
to get in there early,

11
00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:15,480
or sometimes the kid

12
00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:15,480
turns out funny.

13
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,980
Knock, knock.

14
00:00:17,980 --> 00:00:19,355
Hey, Phil.

15
00:00:17,980 --> 00:00:19,355
Hey, guys.

16
00:00:19,355 --> 00:00:21,146
Phil, in here!

17
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,021
You ready

18
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,021
to tackle your website?

19
00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:24,188
I know

20
00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:24,188
I'm here a little early.

21
00:00:24,188 --> 00:00:25,188
I thought

22
00:00:24,188 --> 00:00:25,188
I was gonna be ...

23
00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,396
Do you recognize that?

24
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,021
Are you kidding?

25
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,021
I love your sauce.

26
00:00:30,021 --> 00:00:31,438
Some of it fell out

27
00:00:30,021 --> 00:00:31,438
of my burrito last night,

28
00:00:31,438 --> 00:00:32,646
and I licked it

29
00:00:31,438 --> 00:00:32,646
right off the remote.

30
00:00:32,646 --> 00:00:35,188
That's Auntie Alice's

31
00:00:32,646 --> 00:00:35,188
new sauce!

32
00:00:35,188 --> 00:00:37,313
She stole my recipe!

33
00:00:37,313 --> 00:00:38,813
I know.

34
00:00:38,813 --> 00:00:41,855
I am the crazy Colombian

35
00:00:38,813 --> 00:00:41,855
that always loses her temper

36
00:00:41,855 --> 00:00:44,188
and needs to be calmed down

37
00:00:41,855 --> 00:00:44,188
by the white people.

38
00:00:44,188 --> 00:00:46,480
No! I don't think

39
00:00:44,188 --> 00:00:46,480
you're being crazy enough.

40
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,855
I'm not a violent man, but

41
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,855
I know how nuts it can make you

42
00:00:48,855 --> 00:00:51,438
to create something special

43
00:00:48,855 --> 00:00:51,438
only to have it stolen from you.

44
00:00:51,438 --> 00:00:55,355
Do you remember

45
00:00:51,438 --> 00:00:55,355
a hit song called "Happy?"

46
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:57,146
Yeah, it was

47
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:57,146
like a couple of years ago

48
00:00:57,146 --> 00:00:58,980
with the clapping

49
00:00:57,146 --> 00:00:58,980
and the hat.

50
00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:00,438
A couple of years ago, huh?

51
00:01:00,438 --> 00:01:04,896
So a full four years

52
00:01:00,438 --> 00:01:04,896
after this burst on the scene.

53
00:01:19,855 --> 00:01:22,605
Sounds just a little similar,

54
00:01:19,855 --> 00:01:22,605
right?

55
00:01:22,605 --> 00:01:25,063
A little, but ...

56
00:01:22,605 --> 00:01:25,063
Thank you!

57
00:01:25,063 --> 00:01:26,855
But do you think

58
00:01:25,063 --> 00:01:26,855
that he saw this?

59
00:01:26,855 --> 00:01:29,355
Um, it had 27 views.

60
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:30,771
Come on. We're going

61
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:30,771
down to that market

62
00:01:30,771 --> 00:01:32,105
to make that old bat

63
00:01:30,771 --> 00:01:32,105
cease and desist.

64
00:01:32,105 --> 00:01:33,480
I will not stand idly by

65
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,688
while Auntie Alice

66
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,688
Pharrell Williamses you.

67
00:01:35,688 --> 00:01:37,771
Where are you two going?

68
00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:38,605
To the market.

69
00:01:38,605 --> 00:01:40,980
We need olives!

70
00:01:56,188 --> 00:01:57,438
And then when the lights go out,

71
00:01:56,188 --> 00:01:57,438
she'll be able to read

72
00:01:57,438 --> 00:01:59,021
the glow-in-the-dark ink

73
00:01:57,438 --> 00:01:59,021
on your T-shirt.

74
00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:00,230
Oh, my God.

75
00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:00,230
She's gonna love it.

76
00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:00,230
She? Who's she?

77
00:02:00,230 --> 00:02:01,396
What are you guys

78
00:02:00,230 --> 00:02:01,396
working on?

79
00:02:01,396 --> 00:02:02,521
Nothing.

80
00:02:01,396 --> 00:02:02,521
Nothing.

81
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:04,021
Oh, okay.

82
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:04,021
I get it, yeah.

83
00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:05,813
He's ... I'll just be down

84
00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:05,813
in the bedroom, you know,

85
00:02:05,813 --> 00:02:07,896
at the end of the ...

86
00:02:05,813 --> 00:02:07,896
at the end of the hall.

87
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,021
Hey, thanks

88
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,021
for your help.

89
00:02:11,021 --> 00:02:12,646
I really like this girl,

90
00:02:12,646 --> 00:02:14,688
and there's

91
00:02:12,646 --> 00:02:14,688
just so much pressure

92
00:02:14,688 --> 00:02:17,021
to do something spectacular

93
00:02:14,688 --> 00:02:17,021
when you ask a girl out to prom.

94
00:02:17,021 --> 00:02:19,271
Is there something wrong

95
00:02:17,021 --> 00:02:19,271
with your air vents?

96
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:21,271
No, Cam breathes through

97
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:21,271
his nose when he hides.

98
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:24,105
A promposal?

99
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:24,105
To who? Laurie Vock?

100
00:02:24,105 --> 00:02:25,855
Oh, no.

101
00:02:24,105 --> 00:02:25,855
She's Ian Jacobs' girl.

102
00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,771
Melanie Rylance?

103
00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,771
You have to be careful with her.

104
00:02:27,771 --> 00:02:29,521
She has more cold sores

105
00:02:27,771 --> 00:02:29,521
than Abby Burmeister.

106
00:02:29,521 --> 00:02:31,105
But seriously, Luke,

107
00:02:29,521 --> 00:02:31,105
everything you say here

108
00:02:31,105 --> 00:02:32,688
is completely confidential.

109
00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:34,521
Oh, you know, they are looking

110
00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:34,521
for chaperones for prom,

111
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,230
and I thought

112
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,230
maybe we could ...

113
00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:37,855
No, we have tickets to the

114
00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:37,855
opening of "Cabaret" that night.

115
00:02:37,855 --> 00:02:39,438
I'm not missing it

116
00:02:37,855 --> 00:02:39,438
so I can tell some teenage girl

117
00:02:39,438 --> 00:02:40,688
to keep her dress on.

118
00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:42,105
I spent my own prom

119
00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:42,105
doing that.

120
00:02:42,105 --> 00:02:44,355
Okay, can I just point out

121
00:02:42,105 --> 00:02:44,355
the absurdity

122
00:02:44,355 --> 00:02:48,855
that you ask this uncle to

123
00:02:44,355 --> 00:02:48,855
advise you and not this uncle,

124
00:02:48,855 --> 00:02:51,855
who hung a Valentine's banner

125
00:02:48,855 --> 00:02:51,855
outside of his office

126
00:02:51,855 --> 00:02:53,230
that said, "Mitchell,

127
00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,938
you're the best husband,

128
00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,938
father, and lover."

129
00:02:54,938 --> 00:02:57,146
Didn't love all three of those

130
00:02:54,938 --> 00:02:57,146
being rolled into one sentence.

131
00:02:57,146 --> 00:02:58,438
Sounded a little Ozark-y.

132
00:02:58,438 --> 00:03:00,146
No, Cam. Stop.

133
00:02:58,438 --> 00:03:00,146
What?

134
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,480
Luke's just looking

135
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,480
for an adviser

136
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,688
who's a little

137
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,688
more understated

138
00:03:02,688 --> 00:03:04,105
and a little less,

139
00:03:02,688 --> 00:03:04,105
you know...

140
00:03:04,105 --> 00:03:06,105
David Stuart.

141
00:03:06,105 --> 00:03:07,438
Oh, I get it.

142
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,396
He's quite gay.

143
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,396
Yes, I got it.

144
00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:10,771
Okay, well, you know what?

145
00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,146
I would hate to muck up

146
00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,146
your promposal

147
00:03:12,146 --> 00:03:13,730
with my flair and panache.

148
00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:16,063
I'm sure the lucky girl

149
00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:16,063
will swoon with delight

150
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,355
when you use a mustard bottle

151
00:03:17,355 --> 00:03:19,355
to write "Wanna go?"

152
00:03:17,355 --> 00:03:19,355
on her turkey burger.

153
00:03:19,355 --> 00:03:21,313
Hello?

154
00:03:21,313 --> 00:03:22,896
There's an intruder

155
00:03:21,313 --> 00:03:22,896
in the house.

156
00:03:22,896 --> 00:03:24,021
What?

157
00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,605
But you have

158
00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,605
nothing to worry about

159
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:28,396
with Pritchett's

160
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:28,396
Guardian 3000 Closet,

161
00:03:28,396 --> 00:03:30,396
which doubles as

162
00:03:28,396 --> 00:03:30,396
a military-grade panic room.

163
00:03:30,396 --> 00:03:32,480
So no intruder?

164
00:03:30,396 --> 00:03:32,480
No!

165
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,438
I'm just so excited

166
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,438
about this idea.

167
00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:35,771
I'm debuting it

168
00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:35,771
next week at ClosetCon.

169
00:03:35,771 --> 00:03:36,938
What do you think?

170
00:03:36,938 --> 00:03:38,688
I think

171
00:03:36,938 --> 00:03:38,688
I'm studying for finals.

172
00:03:38,688 --> 00:03:40,605
Can't you scare the crap

173
00:03:38,688 --> 00:03:40,605
out of a focus group?

174
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,938
Like I'm gonna share

175
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,938
my best closet idea

176
00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:44,313
with a room

177
00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:44,313
full of strangers

178
00:03:44,313 --> 00:03:46,438
four days before

179
00:03:44,313 --> 00:03:46,438
the most hotly anticipated

180
00:03:46,438 --> 00:03:48,146
storage convention

181
00:03:46,438 --> 00:03:48,146
in North America.

182
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:51,146
Good point. You do have

183
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:51,146
Haley's number, right?

184
00:04:01,063 --> 00:04:04,271
Alex Dunphy, would you make me

185
00:04:01,063 --> 00:04:04,271
the happiest cat in school

186
00:04:04,271 --> 00:04:05,563
and swing by prom

187
00:04:04,271 --> 00:04:05,563
with me?

188
00:04:05,563 --> 00:04:07,271
Sha-Na-nope.

189
00:04:09,855 --> 00:04:11,646
Hey, Jerry.

190
00:04:11,646 --> 00:04:15,188
For some reason,

191
00:04:11,646 --> 00:04:15,188
I'm locked out of my computer.

192
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,438
Apparently, someone tried

193
00:04:16,438 --> 00:04:18,938
to access my e-mail

194
00:04:16,438 --> 00:04:18,938
before I got in.

195
00:04:20,396 --> 00:04:24,521
Someone hell-bent

196
00:04:20,396 --> 00:04:24,521
on leaking company secrets.

197
00:04:24,521 --> 00:04:28,938
It is four days until C-Con, and

198
00:04:24,521 --> 00:04:28,938
Pritchett's Closets has a mole.

199
00:04:28,938 --> 00:04:31,188
No one is above suspicion.

200
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:36,688
Margaret, where were you

201
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:36,688
this morning at 9:45 a.m.?

202
00:04:36,688 --> 00:04:38,438
I'm so sorry I was late.

203
00:04:38,438 --> 00:04:40,146
I was

204
00:04:38,438 --> 00:04:40,146
at Overeaters Anonymous.

205
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,730
I woke up

206
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,730
next to the ice cream again.

207
00:04:42,730 --> 00:04:44,438
So not Margaret.

208
00:04:51,521 --> 00:04:54,563
I know

209
00:04:51,521 --> 00:04:54,563
who that locker belongs to.

210
00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:57,896
I can't believe you're asking

211
00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:57,896
that cheap Ho to the prom.

212
00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:00,063
Cam!

213
00:04:57,896 --> 00:05:00,063
Sarah Ho!

214
00:05:00,063 --> 00:05:02,730
She gave me a $5 gift card

215
00:05:00,063 --> 00:05:02,730
for Teacher Appreciation Day.

216
00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:04,771
What's with the birds?

217
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,355
Oh, these are

218
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,355
just some turtledoves

219
00:05:06,355 --> 00:05:08,271
for Manny's promposal.

220
00:05:08,271 --> 00:05:09,605
You're joking.

221
00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:11,563
You felt so slighted

222
00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:11,563
over Luke asking me

223
00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:13,355
that you foisted yourself

224
00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:13,355
on Manny?

225
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,646
There was no foisting.

226
00:05:15,646 --> 00:05:17,271
I asked Manny

227
00:05:15,646 --> 00:05:17,271
if he needed help.

228
00:05:17,271 --> 00:05:20,063
He was too proud to admit

229
00:05:17,271 --> 00:05:20,063
that he did, so here we are.

230
00:05:20,063 --> 00:05:21,980
Is it possible there's something

231
00:05:20,063 --> 00:05:21,980
deeper going on with you

232
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:23,355
around this whole prom area?

233
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:25,313
Is it possible

234
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:25,313
you're second-guessing

235
00:05:25,313 --> 00:05:26,980
your no-frills approach?

236
00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:29,188
Especially compared

237
00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:29,188
to turtledoves, backup dancers,

238
00:05:29,188 --> 00:05:32,396
and dry ice so Manny can appear

239
00:05:29,188 --> 00:05:32,396
in a cloud of mist.

240
00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:33,688
A cloud of mist?

241
00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:35,105
Like in a movie?

242
00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:37,230
Is our thing

243
00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:37,230
gonna seem lame now?

244
00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:38,521
Steady.

245
00:05:38,521 --> 00:05:40,480
Now, now.

246
00:05:38,521 --> 00:05:40,480
I'm sure your thing is fine.

247
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,396
What did

248
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,396
your little locker note say?

249
00:05:42,396 --> 00:05:43,646
"Go to the gym."

250
00:05:43,646 --> 00:05:44,896
Intriguing.

251
00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:46,438
What delights

252
00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:46,438
await her in the gym?

253
00:05:46,438 --> 00:05:48,730
Another note telling her

254
00:05:46,438 --> 00:05:48,730
to go to the parking lot.

255
00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:51,855
Well, I should help Manny

256
00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:51,855
set up.

257
00:05:51,855 --> 00:05:53,021
Should I be worried?

258
00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:54,688
Don't freak me out right now,

259
00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:54,688
okay?

260
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,938
Okay. All right.

261
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,938
It's fine.

262
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,938
Just fine.

263
00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:59,980
You don't have to use it,

264
00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:59,980
but at least you'll have it.

265
00:06:01,688 --> 00:06:04,396
Hello, Auntie Alice.

266
00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:07,146
Or should she say

267
00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:07,146
Auntie Malice?

268
00:06:07,146 --> 00:06:09,521
No, Gloria's right.

269
00:06:07,146 --> 00:06:09,521
It's Alice.

270
00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:11,855
I didn't know

271
00:06:09,521 --> 00:06:11,855
you were in today.

272
00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:13,480
You're in ...

273
00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:13,480
trouble!

274
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,105
Is he okay?

275
00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:17,105
You stole my sauce!

276
00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:17,105
What?

277
00:06:17,105 --> 00:06:20,230
Uh, I'm sorry.

278
00:06:17,105 --> 00:06:20,230
Maybe you don't hear so good.

279
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:24,146
She said, "You... stole...

280
00:06:24,146 --> 00:06:26,396
her... sauce."

281
00:06:28,771 --> 00:06:29,938
Wow.

282
00:06:29,938 --> 00:06:31,313
That's spicy.

283
00:06:31,313 --> 00:06:32,813
That's not the sauce

284
00:06:31,313 --> 00:06:32,813
she stole.

285
00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:34,563
That's her Volcano sauce.

286
00:06:34,563 --> 00:06:36,355
In her ad, one drop

287
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:39,646
turns a hockey rink

288
00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:39,646
into a swimming pool.

289
00:06:39,646 --> 00:06:43,521
It's her new sauce, the one

290
00:06:39,646 --> 00:06:43,521
that tastes just like mine.

291
00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:45,646
How are you going

292
00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:45,646
to explain that?

293
00:06:45,646 --> 00:06:47,605
Yeah, we want answers

294
00:06:45,646 --> 00:06:47,605
and a little bread.

295
00:06:47,605 --> 00:06:51,271
Your fight's not with me.

296
00:06:51,271 --> 00:06:53,855
I'm not really Auntie Alice.

297
00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:55,771
Oh, come on.

298
00:06:55,771 --> 00:06:58,146
Your cute face

299
00:06:55,771 --> 00:06:58,146
is in the bottle!

300
00:06:58,146 --> 00:07:02,980
Auntie Alice is a brand that was

301
00:06:58,146 --> 00:07:02,980
created by a big corporation.

302
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:05,188
So they were the ones

303
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:05,188
who stole my sauce?

304
00:07:05,188 --> 00:07:07,480
They steal

305
00:07:05,188 --> 00:07:07,480
all kinds of products.

306
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,896
And they have

307
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,896
an army of lawyers

308
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,730
just ready to crush

309
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,730
anyone who challenges them.

310
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:13,938
So we just have

311
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:13,938
to take it?

312
00:07:13,938 --> 00:07:15,188
Ow!

313
00:07:15,188 --> 00:07:17,313
It's in my eye!

314
00:07:15,188 --> 00:07:17,313
Oh!

315
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:21,271
Please don't repeat any of this,

316
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:21,271
or I could lose my job.

317
00:07:21,271 --> 00:07:24,355
I'm still paying off

318
00:07:21,271 --> 00:07:24,355
my improv classes.

319
00:07:24,355 --> 00:07:26,813
How is this food?

320
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,896
This will

321
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,896
probably be yours someday,

322
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:30,730
so no reason

323
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:30,730
you shouldn't learn to do this.

324
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,563
Does Manny

325
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,563
know how to change oil?

326
00:07:32,563 --> 00:07:34,021
Bath oils.

327
00:07:32,563 --> 00:07:34,021
What?

328
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,146
Bath oil?

329
00:07:35,146 --> 00:07:36,313
There's my guy.

330
00:07:36,313 --> 00:07:37,605
Let me grab the dipstick.

331
00:07:37,605 --> 00:07:38,855
This stick?

332
00:07:38,855 --> 00:07:41,146
Ow!

333
00:07:43,646 --> 00:07:45,771
Manny. Okay.

334
00:07:43,646 --> 00:07:45,771
I just briefed the team.

335
00:07:45,771 --> 00:07:47,980
Dry ice is ready.

336
00:07:45,771 --> 00:07:47,980
Bow ties are on the birds.

337
00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:49,355
Save it, Cam.

338
00:07:49,355 --> 00:07:50,646
Megan already said yes

339
00:07:49,355 --> 00:07:50,646
to Shawn Reeves.

340
00:07:50,646 --> 00:07:51,980
He asked her last period.

341
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:53,313
Oh, I'm so sorry, Manny.

342
00:07:53,313 --> 00:07:54,771
Can't really blame her.

343
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:56,563
I mean, you try saying no

344
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:56,563
to Shawn Reeves

345
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,896
with his weatherman smile

346
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,896
and his exotic Canadian accent.

347
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,063
Well, there must be

348
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,063
someone else you can ask.

349
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,480
No, that's okay.

350
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,480
There's always next year.

351
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,480
At least this way I can see

352
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,480
the opening of "Cabaret."

353
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,396
Oh, please.

354
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,396
It's just "Cabaret."

355
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:09,521
It's been revived more times

356
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:09,521
than Dick Cheney.

357
00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:11,980
Okay.

358
00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:11,980
You're not missing your prom.

359
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:13,688
Cam...

360
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:13,688
I'm getting the feeling

361
00:08:13,688 --> 00:08:15,938
this is much more important

362
00:08:13,688 --> 00:08:15,938
to you than it is to me.

363
00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:18,521
Well, maybe because

364
00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:18,521
I didn't get to go to mine.

365
00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:19,980
Oh. I'm sorry.

366
00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:21,563
Yeah, it's a painful story.

367
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:23,480
I get it. Some things

368
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:23,480
are better left unsaid.

369
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,980
Her name was Tina Day.

370
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:27,396
We were just friends,

371
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:27,396
but I was so into asking her,

372
00:08:27,396 --> 00:08:30,188
I rented a white stallion

373
00:08:27,396 --> 00:08:30,188
and a suit of armor.

374
00:08:30,188 --> 00:08:32,521
I wanted it to be a whole

375
00:08:30,188 --> 00:08:32,521
"knight and Day" theme.

376
00:08:32,521 --> 00:08:33,938
Hm.

377
00:08:33,938 --> 00:08:36,105
I was promposing

378
00:08:33,938 --> 00:08:36,105
before it was even a thing.

379
00:08:36,105 --> 00:08:37,771
I rode up her driveway,

380
00:08:37,771 --> 00:08:39,938
and I could see

381
00:08:37,771 --> 00:08:39,938
when she opened the door

382
00:08:39,938 --> 00:08:42,021
through the little slits

383
00:08:39,938 --> 00:08:42,021
in my helmet

384
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,271
what her answer

385
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,271
was gonna be.

386
00:08:43,271 --> 00:08:45,063
She wanted

387
00:08:43,271 --> 00:08:45,063
a traditional prom night

388
00:08:45,063 --> 00:08:48,313
with a guy

389
00:08:45,063 --> 00:08:48,313
she could lose her virginity to.

390
00:08:48,313 --> 00:08:50,855
I couldn't blame her.

391
00:08:50,855 --> 00:08:52,855
I wanted the same thing.

392
00:08:54,271 --> 00:08:55,813
There's always

393
00:08:54,271 --> 00:08:55,813
Melanie Rylance,

394
00:08:55,813 --> 00:08:57,271
but you wouldn't want me

395
00:08:55,813 --> 00:08:57,271
to ask someone ...

396
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,146
Delta, ready the dancers

397
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,146
and dove cannon.

398
00:09:00,521 --> 00:09:02,021
Poor lady.

399
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,313
I feel terrible for screaming

400
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,313
at her like that.

401
00:09:04,313 --> 00:09:05,313
I blame myself.

402
00:09:05,313 --> 00:09:07,230
I blame yourself, too.

403
00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:08,521
I'm sorry.

404
00:09:08,521 --> 00:09:10,980
I'm just kind of

405
00:09:08,521 --> 00:09:10,980
going through something.

406
00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,480
I got bumped from Lily's

407
00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:13,480
career day this morning

408
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,271
by a periodontist.

409
00:09:15,271 --> 00:09:18,105
That's right ... My job is

410
00:09:15,271 --> 00:09:18,105
less interesting that root rot.

411
00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:20,271
Who cares about a bunch

412
00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:20,271
of third graders?

413
00:09:20,271 --> 00:09:22,938
You love

414
00:09:20,271 --> 00:09:22,938
being a real-estate agent.

415
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,188
First of all, I'm not

416
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,188
just a real-estate agent.

417
00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:26,896
I'm a Realtor.

418
00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,938
I'm a member of a national

419
00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,938
association, a brotherhood,

420
00:09:29,938 --> 00:09:31,855
sworn to

421
00:09:29,938 --> 00:09:31,855
the Realtor Code of Ethics!

422
00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:34,271
That's what

423
00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:34,271
this "R" stands for.

424
00:09:34,271 --> 00:09:36,355
Though, lately, it feels

425
00:09:34,271 --> 00:09:36,355
like it stands for "regret."

426
00:09:36,355 --> 00:09:38,813
I know everything there is

427
00:09:36,355 --> 00:09:38,813
to know about real estate,

428
00:09:38,813 --> 00:09:40,271
and nobody seems to care.

429
00:09:40,271 --> 00:09:41,688
Maybe I have the most boring

430
00:09:40,271 --> 00:09:41,688
job in the world.

431
00:09:41,688 --> 00:09:43,021
No, Phil.

432
00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:46,313
Closets is the most boring job

433
00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:46,313
in the world.

434
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,396
Ay, poor thing.

435
00:09:49,396 --> 00:09:51,480
She has to take the bus.

436
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,771
Let's offer her a ride.

437
00:09:52,771 --> 00:09:53,896
Yes, yes.

438
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:00,688
A Maserati?

439
00:10:00,688 --> 00:10:02,771
She lied to us!

440
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:07,355
iSeguila!

441
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:07,355
iSeguila!

442
00:10:07,355 --> 00:10:08,730
No,

443
00:10:07,355 --> 00:10:08,730
that means "follow her."

444
00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:10,105
Oh.

445
00:10:17,271 --> 00:10:19,021
Hello?

446
00:10:17,271 --> 00:10:19,021
Hey, Mom.

447
00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:20,605
How do you turn on the

448
00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:20,605
sprinklers for the front lawn?

449
00:10:20,605 --> 00:10:24,521
Uh, it's a little control box

450
00:10:20,605 --> 00:10:24,521
by the front door.

451
00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:25,980
Why?

452
00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:25,980
No reason.

453
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,771
Look, now that I've got you

454
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,771
on the phone,

455
00:10:27,771 --> 00:10:30,646
I'm thinking it might be time to

456
00:10:27,771 --> 00:10:30,646
upgrade our Internet security.

457
00:10:30,646 --> 00:10:31,980
Thoughts?

458
00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,355
Get rid of the Post-it note

459
00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,355
on your laptop

460
00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:34,646
with your password on it.

461
00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:37,688
Why are you so worried

462
00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:37,688
about security?

463
00:10:37,688 --> 00:10:39,646
It's my first ClosetCon

464
00:10:37,688 --> 00:10:39,646
as C.E.O.,

465
00:10:39,646 --> 00:10:42,438
and I am dealing

466
00:10:39,646 --> 00:10:42,438
with corporate espionage.

467
00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:43,938
Well, if you're so worried

468
00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:43,938
about it,

469
00:10:43,938 --> 00:10:45,188
why don't you

470
00:10:43,938 --> 00:10:45,188
just call Grandpa?

471
00:10:45,188 --> 00:10:47,021
Do you know

472
00:10:45,188 --> 00:10:47,021
how that would look?

473
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,521
I mean, it's bad enough

474
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,521
to go to the person

475
00:10:48,521 --> 00:10:50,105
who had your job before you,

476
00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:52,230
but when that person

477
00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:52,230
is Daddy...

478
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:55,938
Honey, closet people

479
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:55,938
are ruthless.

480
00:10:55,938 --> 00:10:57,896
They'd eat me alive.

481
00:10:57,896 --> 00:11:00,563
Or maybe the world isn't filled

482
00:10:57,896 --> 00:11:00,563
with heartless monsters.

483
00:11:03,355 --> 00:11:04,855
Hi.

484
00:11:03,355 --> 00:11:04,855
My phone is wet.

485
00:11:04,855 --> 00:11:06,146
Can you call my mom?

486
00:11:07,563 --> 00:11:08,688
Hey, guys.

487
00:11:07,563 --> 00:11:08,688
Sorry I'm late.

488
00:11:08,688 --> 00:11:10,146
I just got off the horn

489
00:11:10,146 --> 00:11:12,271
with Rick Friedman

490
00:11:10,146 --> 00:11:12,271
over at Shelf Involved.

491
00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:13,980
That poor guy.

492
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:18,021
Someone there has given away

493
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:18,021
corporate secrets.

494
00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:19,605
Makes me so glad

495
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:22,521
that we just upgraded

496
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:22,521
our whole security system.

497
00:11:22,521 --> 00:11:25,605
I mean, we got hidden cameras

498
00:11:22,521 --> 00:11:25,605
around this place

499
00:11:25,605 --> 00:11:27,813
that I don't even know about.

500
00:11:29,646 --> 00:11:32,813
So, we got a cake

501
00:11:29,646 --> 00:11:32,813
for Margaret's birthday.

502
00:11:32,813 --> 00:11:34,271
Mm-hmm.

503
00:11:34,271 --> 00:11:35,855
Fun.

504
00:11:35,855 --> 00:11:37,771
How you doing, Ben?

505
00:11:37,771 --> 00:11:39,063
Me?

506
00:11:39,063 --> 00:11:40,188
I'm good.

507
00:11:39,063 --> 00:11:40,188
I am good.

508
00:11:40,188 --> 00:11:41,396
I am chill.

509
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,021
I'm gonna go

510
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,021
to the bathroom, so...

511
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,563
It's not really my birthday.

512
00:11:46,563 --> 00:11:48,730
I just wanted cake.

513
00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:51,313
I eat garbage

514
00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:51,313
because I am garbage.

515
00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:55,688
Hey, Dad. Hi.

516
00:11:55,688 --> 00:11:57,396
Um, listen.

517
00:11:55,688 --> 00:11:57,396
Can I call you back?

518
00:11:57,396 --> 00:11:58,938
Just wanted to confirm

519
00:11:57,396 --> 00:11:58,938
we're on for dinner at ...

520
00:11:58,938 --> 00:12:01,021
Oh, got another call.

521
00:11:58,938 --> 00:12:01,021
One sec.

522
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,480
Yeah,

523
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,480
I think she's onto us.

524
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,855
Yeah, a lot of mole talk.

525
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:08,063
I think we just need

526
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:08,063
to calm things d...

527
00:12:08,063 --> 00:12:09,313
What?

528
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:11,188
You're talking to her

529
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:11,188
right now?

530
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,396
Yeah, okay, bye.

531
00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:14,730
So, we're on for tonight?

532
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:16,105
Sure.

533
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:16,105
Great.

534
00:12:16,105 --> 00:12:17,605
And, hey,

535
00:12:16,105 --> 00:12:17,605
you sound a little tense.

536
00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:19,688
Don't let the job

537
00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:19,688
make you crazy, huh?

538
00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:22,521
You go that route, soon you're

539
00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:22,521
seeing plots everywhere.

540
00:12:22,521 --> 00:12:23,646
Great tip, Dad.

541
00:12:23,646 --> 00:12:24,855
Aah!

542
00:12:24,855 --> 00:12:25,980
You're spying for my dad!

543
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:27,688
What? No!

544
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:27,688
Yes. I'm sorry.

545
00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:28,896
I don't know why I agreed.

546
00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:30,563
I just look up to your dad

547
00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:30,563
so much.

548
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:32,271
I can't believe

549
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:32,271
he doesn't trust me.

550
00:12:32,271 --> 00:12:33,896
Why did he put me

551
00:12:32,271 --> 00:12:33,896
in charge, then?

552
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:35,105
I don't know,

553
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:35,105
but I can find out.

554
00:12:35,105 --> 00:12:36,605
I'll double-agent.

555
00:12:36,605 --> 00:12:38,230
I've been working this game

556
00:12:36,605 --> 00:12:38,230
since my parents' divorce.

557
00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:39,938
I was the only 10-year-old

558
00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:39,938
in Great Neck

559
00:12:39,938 --> 00:12:41,688
with no bedtime

560
00:12:39,938 --> 00:12:41,688
and Diners Club card.

561
00:12:41,688 --> 00:12:43,605
Fine. Don't make any plans

562
00:12:41,688 --> 00:12:43,605
for tonight.

563
00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:45,146
You're coming to dinner

564
00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:45,146
with me.

565
00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:45,146
All right.

566
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:47,396
Um, can we stop by my house

567
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:47,396
to change my shoes?

568
00:12:47,396 --> 00:12:49,605
I didn't make it up here

569
00:12:47,396 --> 00:12:49,605
on the first try.

570
00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:58,688
All right,

571
00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:58,688
the dove cannon's loaded,

572
00:12:58,688 --> 00:13:00,271
the dancers are stretching,

573
00:12:58,688 --> 00:13:00,271
the dry ice is billowing.

574
00:13:00,271 --> 00:13:01,146
The moment you get her outside,

575
00:13:00,271 --> 00:13:01,146
I will cue the team.

576
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:02,313
Oh, there she is.

577
00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:03,980
Okay. Go.

578
00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:05,063
All right, team.

579
00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:05,063
Look alive.

580
00:13:05,063 --> 00:13:06,355
We are hot.

581
00:13:05,063 --> 00:13:06,355
We are hot.

582
00:13:06,355 --> 00:13:07,980
Hey, Melanie.

583
00:13:06,355 --> 00:13:07,980
Listen ...

584
00:13:06,355 --> 00:13:07,980
Manny.

585
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,188
Do you want to go

586
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,188
to prom with me?

587
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:10,896
Uh, sure.

588
00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:14,271
Oh, hey.

589
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,313
You got a second?

590
00:13:15,313 --> 00:13:16,605
Yeah.

591
00:13:16,605 --> 00:13:17,855
Yeah, I'm second.

592
00:13:16,605 --> 00:13:17,855
You're first.

593
00:13:17,855 --> 00:13:19,396
I get it.

594
00:13:17,855 --> 00:13:19,396
You win everything.

595
00:13:19,396 --> 00:13:21,063
That seems like something

596
00:13:19,396 --> 00:13:21,063
I'm gonna hear about later.

597
00:13:21,063 --> 00:13:22,980
I need help

598
00:13:21,063 --> 00:13:22,980
with Luke's promposal, okay?

599
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:25,521
Can you go to the gym, wait for

600
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:25,521
Sarah, and then hand her this?

601
00:13:25,521 --> 00:13:27,605
Okay, this is

602
00:13:25,521 --> 00:13:27,605
what I've been reduced to?

603
00:13:25,521 --> 00:13:27,605
Yeah.

604
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:30,438
Delivering an

605
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:30,438
unperfumed envelope

606
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:30,438
like a common bellhop?

607
00:13:30,438 --> 00:13:32,355
Fine.

608
00:13:30,438 --> 00:13:32,355
Thank you. Okay.

609
00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:34,813
Stand down, everybody.

610
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,146
Little Bear's gone rogue.

611
00:13:37,146 --> 00:13:39,813
Wait.

612
00:13:39,813 --> 00:13:41,355
Grayson! Hey.

613
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:42,938
Hey, Coach.

614
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:42,938
Hey.

615
00:13:42,938 --> 00:13:45,771
Don't suppose you're planning

616
00:13:42,938 --> 00:13:45,771
on asking anyone to prom.

617
00:13:45,771 --> 00:13:48,480
Um, I don't think we're allowed

618
00:13:45,771 --> 00:13:48,480
to go with teachers.

619
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,396
That's not what...

620
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,355
So, this is the house

621
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,355
that stolen sauce built.

622
00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:56,355
I'm so angry that

623
00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:56,355
I don't even know what

624
00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:56,355
I'm gonna say to her!

625
00:13:56,355 --> 00:13:58,146
Ah, so,

626
00:13:56,355 --> 00:13:58,146
this is the house

627
00:13:58,146 --> 00:13:59,688
that the stolen sauce

628
00:13:58,146 --> 00:13:59,688
built!

629
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:03,021
Oh, I know what you're thinking,

630
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:03,021
but this isn't my house.

631
00:14:03,021 --> 00:14:05,521
I just come here

632
00:14:03,021 --> 00:14:05,521
to get my paycheck.

633
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:06,855
Grandma,

634
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:06,855
my shower's broken.

635
00:14:06,855 --> 00:14:08,313
I'm gonna use the one

636
00:14:06,855 --> 00:14:08,313
in the guesthouse.

637
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:09,605
Whoa.

638
00:14:09,605 --> 00:14:10,980
Please be

639
00:14:09,605 --> 00:14:10,980
my new piano teacher.

640
00:14:12,146 --> 00:14:14,146
Fine.

641
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,605
I'm Auntie Alice.

642
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,605
Auntie Thief

643
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,605
and Auntie Liar.

644
00:14:17,605 --> 00:14:18,855
Yeah, yeah.

645
00:14:18,855 --> 00:14:21,188
I'm sure

646
00:14:18,855 --> 00:14:21,188
we can work something out.

647
00:14:21,188 --> 00:14:22,855
Who's your patent lawyer?

648
00:14:22,855 --> 00:14:23,771
I don't have one.

649
00:14:23,771 --> 00:14:25,230
I know.

650
00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:27,938
I patented your sauce

651
00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:27,938
this morning.

652
00:14:27,938 --> 00:14:31,605
Have a good trip home,

653
00:14:27,938 --> 00:14:31,605
kids.

654
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:34,688
I am so sorry, Phil,

655
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:34,688
that I wasted your whole day,

656
00:14:34,688 --> 00:14:37,230
but I am more sorry of

657
00:14:34,688 --> 00:14:37,230
what I'm gonna do to your car!

658
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:38,980
Gloria,

659
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:38,980
we're above that.

660
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:40,438
But not everyone would be.

661
00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:42,438
You should put that beauty

662
00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:42,438
in your garage.

663
00:14:42,438 --> 00:14:44,813
I don't have one.

664
00:14:42,438 --> 00:14:44,813
Oh, really?

665
00:14:44,813 --> 00:14:47,271
Just out of curiosity,

666
00:14:44,813 --> 00:14:47,271
do you not have a garage

667
00:14:47,271 --> 00:14:49,021
because you converted it

668
00:14:47,271 --> 00:14:49,021
into the guesthouse

669
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:50,855
where your grandson's

670
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:50,855
currently showering?

671
00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:52,271
What's your game, mister?

672
00:14:52,271 --> 00:14:53,980
I just find it interesting

673
00:14:52,271 --> 00:14:53,980
that you have

674
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,396
a fully plumbed stand-alone

675
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,396
dwelling on your property.

676
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,063
That's none of your business.

677
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,438
Even more peculiar, your

678
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:00,438
grandson appears to live here,

679
00:15:00,438 --> 00:15:03,980
but judging by his T-shirt,

680
00:15:00,438 --> 00:15:03,980
he goes to Eden Mills High,

681
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:06,480
an elite public school 12 miles

682
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:06,480
outside of your district.

683
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,980
Oh, maybe with the money

684
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,980
you saved on private schools,

685
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:11,396
you paid for the new two-sided

686
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:11,396
brick fireplace I saw,

687
00:15:11,396 --> 00:15:13,105
which hasn't been legal

688
00:15:11,396 --> 00:15:13,105
since 1988.

689
00:15:13,105 --> 00:15:14,146
Go, Phil, go!

690
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:15,938
Pull the sauce, Big Al,

691
00:15:15,938 --> 00:15:19,521
or Monday morning, the city's

692
00:15:15,938 --> 00:15:19,521
here with a bulldozer,

693
00:15:19,521 --> 00:15:22,313
and your grandson goes to

694
00:15:19,521 --> 00:15:22,313
a school with a metal detector.

695
00:15:22,313 --> 00:15:24,355
How do you know all this?

696
00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:26,980
What are you ... some kind

697
00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:26,980
of real-estate agent?

698
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,355
No.

699
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,355
He's a Realtor.

700
00:15:29,355 --> 00:15:31,730
There is a difference somehow!

701
00:15:35,146 --> 00:15:36,396
Oh, hey, kids.

702
00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:38,105
Actually,

703
00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:38,105
I'm waiting for Sarah,

704
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,355
so if I could have the room

705
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,355
for just a ... a minute.

706
00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:42,105
Thank ...

707
00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:42,105
Okay, funny.

708
00:15:42,105 --> 00:15:44,646
Whoever turned out the lights,

709
00:15:42,105 --> 00:15:44,646
please turn them back on.

710
00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:46,771
They're not working.

711
00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:46,771
Might be a fuse.

712
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:48,980
Oh, um...

713
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,313
Mitchell,

714
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,313
we have a problem.

715
00:15:50,313 --> 00:15:52,105
No, we don't.

716
00:15:52,105 --> 00:15:55,980
I mean,

717
00:15:52,105 --> 00:15:55,980
unless you're busy that night.

718
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:58,313
Are ... Are you

719
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:58,313
asking me to prom?

720
00:15:58,313 --> 00:16:00,938
Well, you know,

721
00:15:58,313 --> 00:16:00,938
they need chaperones.

722
00:16:00,938 --> 00:16:02,896
Mitchell, this is the

723
00:16:00,938 --> 00:16:02,896
sweetest thing you've

724
00:16:00,938 --> 00:16:02,896
ever done for me.

725
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:04,813
I-I don't know

726
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:04,813
if I've mentioned it,

727
00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:06,480
but I never got

728
00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:06,480
to go to my own prom.

729
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,438
It's come up.

730
00:16:08,438 --> 00:16:10,021
What about

731
00:16:08,438 --> 00:16:10,021
Luke's promposal?

732
00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:12,105
Well, your husband, who

733
00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:12,105
couldn't plan anything romantic

734
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,521
with a gun to his head,

735
00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:16,188
may have pulled off

736
00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:16,188
two promposals at once.

737
00:16:16,188 --> 00:16:18,021
Mm-hmm.

738
00:16:16,188 --> 00:16:18,021
Hey.

739
00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:20,396
Do you have any idea

740
00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:20,396
who put that note in my locker

741
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,813
asking me to be

742
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,813
a part of this thing?

743
00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,813
Oh, yeah,

744
00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,813
it was my uncle.

745
00:16:23,813 --> 00:16:26,688
It's pretty clever

746
00:16:23,813 --> 00:16:26,688
how he turned out the lights.

747
00:16:26,688 --> 00:16:30,230
I said,

748
00:16:26,688 --> 00:16:30,230
"Turned out the lights"!

749
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:34,313
Oh, my God!

750
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:34,313
Yes!

751
00:16:34,313 --> 00:16:37,188
Oh! That's so sweet.

752
00:16:34,313 --> 00:16:37,188
I...

753
00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:39,188
And I can't believe

754
00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:39,188
I'm finally going to prom.

755
00:16:39,188 --> 00:16:40,855
I can't believe

756
00:16:39,188 --> 00:16:40,855
I finally have a happy memory

757
00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:42,605
in a high-school gym.

758
00:16:42,605 --> 00:16:44,230
Joe did that to you?

759
00:16:42,605 --> 00:16:44,230
Yeah.

760
00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,063
Slammed a car hood on it.

761
00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,063
Why?

762
00:16:46,063 --> 00:16:47,438
I owed him money.

763
00:16:47,438 --> 00:16:49,521
It slipped while I was

764
00:16:47,438 --> 00:16:49,521
teaching him to check oil.

765
00:16:49,521 --> 00:16:51,605
Well, that's pretty advanced

766
00:16:49,521 --> 00:16:51,605
for a 3-year-old.

767
00:16:51,605 --> 00:16:53,230
What can I say?

768
00:16:51,605 --> 00:16:53,230
I believe in my kids.

769
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:55,771
Thank you. Mmm.

770
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:55,771
Mm.

771
00:16:55,771 --> 00:16:58,188
Looks good.

772
00:16:55,771 --> 00:16:58,188
Thank you.

773
00:16:55,771 --> 00:16:58,188
Mm-hmm.

774
00:16:58,188 --> 00:17:00,646
Very nice.

775
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:02,355
Let's quickly

776
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:02,355
go over the plan.

777
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,021
My dad's gonna be here

778
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,021
any minute.

779
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,021
Mm-hmm.

780
00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:05,521
We're doing this

781
00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:05,521
in stages.

782
00:17:05,521 --> 00:17:08,063
One finger

783
00:17:05,521 --> 00:17:08,063
means you text him

784
00:17:08,063 --> 00:17:09,563
"We're closing

785
00:17:08,063 --> 00:17:09,563
the blinds division."

786
00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:11,146
Our biggest earner?

787
00:17:11,146 --> 00:17:12,855
He's gonna lose it if I tell

788
00:17:11,146 --> 00:17:12,855
him we're shuttering blinds.

789
00:17:12,855 --> 00:17:16,521
Two fingers, we're partnering

790
00:17:12,855 --> 00:17:16,521
with Rod Bushmill.

791
00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:18,938
That sleazebag represents

792
00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:18,938
everything your father

793
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,271
spent an entire career

794
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,271
fighting against.

795
00:17:21,271 --> 00:17:24,896
Three fingers,

796
00:17:21,271 --> 00:17:24,896
we're not going to ClosetCon.

797
00:17:21,271 --> 00:17:24,896
Wha...

798
00:17:24,896 --> 00:17:27,396
Are you trying to teach

799
00:17:24,896 --> 00:17:27,396
your father a lesson

800
00:17:24,896 --> 00:17:27,396
or crush his soul?

801
00:17:27,396 --> 00:17:29,521
Just business, kid.

802
00:17:29,521 --> 00:17:31,355
Monster.

803
00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:33,563
Looks good.

804
00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:33,563
Thank you.

805
00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:33,563
Mm-hmm.

806
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:38,646
So... with all this prom stuff

807
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:38,646
coming up,

808
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,355
is your house

809
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:40,355
as topsy-turvy as ours is?

810
00:17:40,355 --> 00:17:42,021
Not really.

811
00:17:40,355 --> 00:17:42,021
Manny's taking this girl.

812
00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:43,730
She's nothing special,

813
00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:43,730
but solid.

814
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,855
Mm.

815
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,855
Reliable.

816
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,313
A lot like

817
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,313
our blinds division.

818
00:17:46,313 --> 00:17:47,355
You know ...

819
00:17:46,313 --> 00:17:47,355
not sexy, but ...

820
00:17:47,355 --> 00:17:48,896
No, Dad.

821
00:17:47,355 --> 00:17:48,896
No shop talk.

822
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:51,021
You've had enough of that

823
00:17:48,896 --> 00:17:51,021
for a lifetime.

824
00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:56,355
Wow, your phone

825
00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:56,355
is really blowing up tonight.

826
00:17:56,355 --> 00:17:57,605
Mm.

827
00:17:57,605 --> 00:17:58,688
Two old-fashioneds.

828
00:17:58,688 --> 00:17:59,730
Thank you.

829
00:17:58,688 --> 00:17:59,730
Oh, thank you.

830
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,271
Okay. Here.

831
00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:03,605
You know what else seems

832
00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:03,605
old-fashioned to me nowadays?

833
00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:05,813
Mm?

834
00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:05,813
Integrity.

835
00:18:05,813 --> 00:18:07,855
Maybe because

836
00:18:05,813 --> 00:18:07,855
I spent my career

837
00:18:07,855 --> 00:18:09,521
fighting the sleazeballs

838
00:18:07,855 --> 00:18:09,521
in our industry.

839
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,063
You know ...

840
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,063
the Rod Bushmill types.

841
00:18:11,063 --> 00:18:12,230
Rod's a sweetheart.

842
00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:13,730
He bought me lunch

843
00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:13,730
last week.

844
00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,188
We got to talking

845
00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,188
about whether or not we ...

846
00:18:15,188 --> 00:18:17,396
What am I doing?

847
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,980
Jibber-jabbering

848
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,980
about work.

849
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,980
Mm.

850
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:23,438
So, that little

851
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:23,438
grease monkey Joe is 3.

852
00:18:23,438 --> 00:18:25,771
Hard to believe.

853
00:18:23,438 --> 00:18:25,771
3.

854
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:30,480
They grow up so fast.

855
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,980
Got to be nice, though,

856
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,980
Dad,

857
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,063
knowing that your company

858
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,063
is in good hands

859
00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:35,813
and you can stay home

860
00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:35,813
all day long and just

861
00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:35,813
play with your kid.

862
00:18:35,813 --> 00:18:37,146
Have you lost your mind?

863
00:18:37,146 --> 00:18:38,771
Well, not all day,

864
00:18:37,146 --> 00:18:38,771
obviously.

865
00:18:38,771 --> 00:18:40,438
3-year-olds are nothing

866
00:18:38,771 --> 00:18:40,438
but bipolar germ buckets.

867
00:18:40,438 --> 00:18:41,896
You're skipping out

868
00:18:40,438 --> 00:18:41,896
on ClosetCon?

869
00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,355
Who told you that?

870
00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,355
Ben.

871
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,896
That little weasel

872
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,896
told me everything.

873
00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:46,896
Listen, I can tolerate

874
00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:46,896
shutting down the blinds,

875
00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:49,688
even Rod Bushmill, but not

876
00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:49,688
showing up for ClosetCon,

877
00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:51,271
you're asking

878
00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:51,271
not to be taken seriously.

879
00:18:51,271 --> 00:18:53,021
My God, Claire!

880
00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,938
We're one strong season

881
00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,938
away from being invited

882
00:18:55,938 --> 00:18:58,521
to Expo Internationale

883
00:18:55,938 --> 00:18:58,521
du Closets!

884
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,563
Why are you looking at me

885
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,563
like that?

886
00:19:01,563 --> 00:19:03,438
'Cause I'm not doing

887
00:19:01,563 --> 00:19:03,438
any of those things.

888
00:19:03,438 --> 00:19:06,396
I told that little weasel Ben

889
00:19:03,438 --> 00:19:06,396
to text you those things

890
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,313
when I found out

891
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,313
that he was spying for you.

892
00:19:09,313 --> 00:19:11,980
And, by the way,

893
00:19:09,313 --> 00:19:11,980
it doesn't feel very nice

894
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:14,188
to know that you don't think

895
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:14,188
that I can run your company.

896
00:19:14,188 --> 00:19:15,605
That's not why I did it.

897
00:19:15,605 --> 00:19:17,605
I thought maybe you could

898
00:19:15,605 --> 00:19:17,605
use a little support.

899
00:19:17,605 --> 00:19:20,855
You're staring down the barrel

900
00:19:17,605 --> 00:19:20,855
of your first ClosetCon.

901
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,230
So you spied on me?

902
00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:23,646
I mean, you could have

903
00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:23,646
given me a call.

904
00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:25,355
And tell you that you're

905
00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:25,355
not doing your job?

906
00:19:25,355 --> 00:19:27,188
That would have

907
00:19:25,355 --> 00:19:27,188
gone over fine with you.

908
00:19:30,896 --> 00:19:32,771
Need any help?

909
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:33,730
No!

910
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:33,730
No.

911
00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:36,355
I mean, look at us.

912
00:19:36,355 --> 00:19:37,813
Why can't we both admit

913
00:19:37,813 --> 00:19:39,563
that we could use

914
00:19:37,813 --> 00:19:39,563
each other's help right now?

915
00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:41,730
Are we too proud

916
00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:41,730
to even do that?

917
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:42,813
I'll admit it

918
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:42,813
if you will.

919
00:19:42,813 --> 00:19:44,980
Fine. On 3.

920
00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,605
1... 2... 3.

921
00:19:46,605 --> 00:19:48,355
Will you crack my lobster?

922
00:19:46,605 --> 00:19:48,355
I want to come back to work.

923
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,855
What?

924
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,855
Damn it!

925
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,188
Oh, my God.

926
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,188
You want to come back to work?

927
00:19:51,188 --> 00:19:52,855
I miss it, okay?

928
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:54,771
You know how it is when you

929
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:54,771
have closets in your blood.

930
00:19:54,771 --> 00:19:56,938
I'm going crazy

931
00:19:54,771 --> 00:19:56,938
in retirement.

932
00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,188
Why are you smiling at me

933
00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,188
like that?

934
00:19:59,188 --> 00:20:00,813
Because we're so similar.

935
00:20:00,813 --> 00:20:02,396
Do you know how many times

936
00:20:00,813 --> 00:20:02,396
I've wanted to call you

937
00:20:02,396 --> 00:20:04,021
to ask

938
00:20:02,396 --> 00:20:04,021
for your help or advice,

939
00:20:04,021 --> 00:20:06,146
but I was afraid

940
00:20:04,021 --> 00:20:06,146
I would look weak?

941
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,271
Here.

942
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,271
You crack this.

943
00:20:09,271 --> 00:20:11,855
Give me that.

944
00:20:09,271 --> 00:20:11,855
I'll open these things.

945
00:20:11,855 --> 00:20:16,021
Well, Dad, what do you think

946
00:20:11,855 --> 00:20:16,021
about coming back to work ...

947
00:20:16,021 --> 00:20:18,105
I don't know ...

948
00:20:16,021 --> 00:20:18,105
one or two days a week?

949
00:20:18,105 --> 00:20:21,146
What I was thinking was,

950
00:20:18,105 --> 00:20:21,146
I'd have a staff of five.

951
00:20:18,105 --> 00:20:21,146
Mm-hmm.

952
00:20:21,146 --> 00:20:22,855
My own building.

953
00:20:21,146 --> 00:20:22,855
What?

954
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:24,688
And I report to no one.

955
00:20:24,688 --> 00:20:26,188
I'm kidding.

956
00:20:26,188 --> 00:20:28,230
I'll put a desk

957
00:20:26,188 --> 00:20:28,230
in the copy room.

958
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:31,438
And, by the way, I've

959
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:31,438
known you for a long time.

960
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:34,355
The last thing you need to

961
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:34,355
worry about is looking weak.

962
00:20:37,438 --> 00:20:39,730
It's not always easy

963
00:20:37,438 --> 00:20:39,730
to ask for what you want,

964
00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:41,605
whether it's

965
00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:41,605
a little romance...

966
00:20:41,605 --> 00:20:43,480
or a little help...

967
00:20:45,688 --> 00:20:47,688
or a little respect.

968
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:50,855
So, I admire you

969
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:50,855
for asking ...

970
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:50,855
I don't.

971
00:20:50,855 --> 00:20:52,646
We both know

972
00:20:50,855 --> 00:20:52,646
why they're asking.

973
00:20:52,646 --> 00:20:55,771
No, you may not use our upstairs

974
00:20:52,646 --> 00:20:55,771
apartment for an after party.

975
00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:56,896
- Oh.

976
00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:57,938
Lame.

977
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,563
You look ravishing,

978
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,563
my sweet.

979
00:20:59,563 --> 00:21:00,980
We said no talking.

980
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:08,105
Come on. Come on.

981
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:08,105
I'm thirsty.

982
00:21:08,105 --> 00:21:09,355
I'll tell you

983
00:21:08,105 --> 00:21:09,355
when you're thirsty.

984
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,605
Come on.

985
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,605
Let me feel that power.

986
00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:11,980
Come on.

987
00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:11,980
Make that leather sing!

988
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,313
All right. Come on.

989
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,313
Get on your bike.

990
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,688
Back up.

991
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,688
Get on your bike. Come on.

992
00:21:14,688 --> 00:21:15,813
They can't hit you

993
00:21:14,688 --> 00:21:15,813
if they can't reach you.

994
00:21:15,813 --> 00:21:17,313
My pants are falling.

995
00:21:17,313 --> 00:21:18,605
Well, pull 'em up.

996
00:21:18,605 --> 00:21:19,771
Pull 'em up high

997
00:21:18,605 --> 00:21:19,771
to your nipples.

998
00:21:19,771 --> 00:21:21,105
That prevents

999
00:21:19,771 --> 00:21:21,105
a low blow.

1000
00:21:21,105 --> 00:21:22,355
What's a low blow?

1001
00:21:22,355 --> 00:21:23,855
Fantastic.

1002
00:21:23,855 --> 00:21:26,021
I have to emcee

1003
00:21:23,855 --> 00:21:26,021
a poetry retrospective tomorrow,

1004
00:21:26,021 --> 00:21:27,813
and this shawl collar's

1005
00:21:26,021 --> 00:21:27,813
got more wrinkles

1006
00:21:27,813 --> 00:21:29,605
than last night's

1007
00:21:27,813 --> 00:21:29,605
"Downton Abbey."

1008
00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:30,980
That is.

1009
00:21:34,063 --> 00:21:36,855
Captions by VITAC :