1 00:00:02,418 --> 00:00:05,630 Hey, baby brother! 2 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,923 Let's not insult us both. 3 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,923 How much do you need? 4 00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:10,385 Mom paid my car insurance 5 00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:10,385 this month, and I told 6 00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:10,385 her I'd have it today ... 7 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,177 The number, 8 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,177 the number. 9 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,177 $120. 10 00:00:13,137 --> 00:00:15,055 Grandpa got me a job 11 00:00:13,137 --> 00:00:15,055 at his country club, 12 00:00:15,055 --> 00:00:17,224 and I've been cleaning up 13 00:00:15,055 --> 00:00:17,224 in tips. 14 00:00:17,224 --> 00:00:19,560 I also like 15 00:00:17,224 --> 00:00:19,560 the way those guys talk. 16 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,938 There's actually an ethnic slur 17 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,938 for Norwegians. 18 00:00:22,938 --> 00:00:24,774 It's ice ers. 19 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,609 Hey, buddy, 20 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,609 they canceled my showing, 21 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,068 so I can drive you 22 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,068 to work. 23 00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:29,529 That looks good. 24 00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:29,529 What is it? 25 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,322 Lobster Thermidor 26 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,322 from the country club. 27 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,324 There's also cherries jubilee 28 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,324 in the fridge. 29 00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:34,784 Mmm. 30 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:38,746 Look at us eating 31 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:38,746 like rich people in the '50s. 32 00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:40,456 Hey, Mom! 33 00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:40,456 Have a good day at work. 34 00:00:40,456 --> 00:00:42,875 Uh, I already did that. 35 00:00:40,456 --> 00:00:42,875 It's 3:30. 36 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,919 How are you 37 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,919 just waking up? 38 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,129 I set my alarm for noon. 39 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,129 I must have slept through it. 40 00:00:47,129 --> 00:00:48,798 I was working late 41 00:00:47,129 --> 00:00:48,798 promoting a new club. 42 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:52,009 Oh, by the way, 43 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:52,009 here is the insurance money. 44 00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:53,844 Thank you. 45 00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:53,844 A lot of singles 46 00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:53,844 in there. 47 00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:55,596 What exactly do you do 48 00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:55,596 at this club? 49 00:00:55,596 --> 00:00:56,889 Oh, right. 50 00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:58,433 'Cause I'm a stripper, Alex. 51 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,727 Oh, my God, do you really think 52 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,727 I'm a stripper? 53 00:01:01,727 --> 00:01:02,978 No. 54 00:01:01,727 --> 00:01:02,978 No. 55 00:01:02,978 --> 00:01:04,397 Okay, well, I'm off. 56 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,440 I'm signing up 57 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,440 for some business classes 58 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,358 at community college. 59 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:08,776 Business class, 60 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:08,776 huh? 61 00:01:08,776 --> 00:01:10,736 Sounds like somebody's 62 00:01:08,776 --> 00:01:10,736 been influenced 63 00:01:10,736 --> 00:01:12,322 by living under 64 00:01:10,736 --> 00:01:12,322 the same roof 65 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,490 with a certain 66 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,490 captain of industry. 67 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,241 Thank you, honey, 68 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,241 but none of my success 69 00:01:16,241 --> 00:01:19,161 would have been possible without 70 00:01:16,241 --> 00:01:19,161 your support as a homemaker. 71 00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:20,705 Sweetheart, 72 00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:20,705 while I am very flattered 73 00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,498 by your sudden interest 74 00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,498 in business, 75 00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:24,917 how about instead of 76 00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:24,917 another class, you get a job? 77 00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:26,669 Get your hands a 78 00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:26,669 little dirty, huh? 79 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,379 She could run her hands 80 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,379 through her hair. 81 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,797 That would do it. 82 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,797 I've already 83 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,797 pre-registered. 84 00:01:29,797 --> 00:01:31,173 Also, I signed us up 85 00:01:29,797 --> 00:01:31,173 for that book signing tonight. 86 00:01:31,173 --> 00:01:32,174 You still in? 87 00:01:32,174 --> 00:01:33,301 Absolutely. 88 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,094 Got my book 89 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,094 right here. 90 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,054 Trying to make it look like 91 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,054 you read it? 92 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,054 Amateur. 93 00:01:54,822 --> 00:01:55,990 So, I don't really have 94 00:01:54,822 --> 00:01:55,990 a job title 95 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,783 or even 96 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,783 a set place to work, 97 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,076 so I kind of 98 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,076 just float around 99 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:01,579 and make sure 100 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:01,579 everyone has what they need. 101 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:02,830 4:00, 102 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:02,830 Your Honor. 103 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,999 Don't forget 104 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,999 to take your medicine. 105 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,876 Well, all these 106 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,876 powerful guys. 107 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,254 You can make connections here 108 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,254 that'll last forever. 109 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,505 Not really. 110 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,131 We have 111 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,131 a lot of turnover here. 112 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:13,966 That flag outside has been 113 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:13,966 at half-mast since April. 114 00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:15,134 Oh. 115 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,136 That's why 116 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,136 we have these. 117 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,804 Oh. 118 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,804 How's that work? 119 00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:20,265 You find a member 120 00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:20,265 to sponsor you, 121 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,599 come have some drinks 122 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,599 with the committee, 123 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,100 and they vote 124 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,100 a few people in. 125 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,645 Similar process to a secret 126 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,645 cheer society I was in. 127 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,854 Skull and Pom-Poms. 128 00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:28,356 I've said 129 00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:28,356 too much already. 130 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,690 Are you thinking 131 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,690 of joining? 132 00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:31,191 Both my partners 133 00:02:29,690 --> 00:02:31,191 are in clubs. 134 00:02:31,191 --> 00:02:32,192 They've drummed up 135 00:02:31,191 --> 00:02:32,192 a lot of business. 136 00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:33,569 Maybe I ... 137 00:02:33,569 --> 00:02:35,029 Hey, there's Jay. 138 00:02:33,569 --> 00:02:35,029 Maybe he can ... 139 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,406 Jay. Jay! 140 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,283 Jay, Jay, Jay! 141 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,409 Go, go, go! 142 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,743 Jay, wait up! 143 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,244 I think 144 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,244 someone's calling for you. 145 00:02:42,244 --> 00:02:43,746 I didn't hear anything. 146 00:02:42,244 --> 00:02:43,746 What's wrong with this cart? 147 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,248 You got the brakes on? 148 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,248 Go! 149 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,248 Ow! Your spikes. 150 00:02:46,248 --> 00:02:47,750 Hey, hey, hey! 151 00:02:46,248 --> 00:02:47,750 Cramps. 152 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,710 Luke and I 153 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,710 just split a Beef Wellington 154 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,086 and clams casino. 155 00:02:51,086 --> 00:02:52,713 Um, I'm wondering 156 00:02:51,086 --> 00:02:52,713 if you'd, uh, sponsor me 157 00:02:52,713 --> 00:02:54,006 for the new-members thing 158 00:02:52,713 --> 00:02:54,006 tonight. 159 00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:55,550 Gee, I'd like to, 160 00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:55,550 but they got rules 161 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,510 about relatives 162 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,510 sponsoring new members, so ... 163 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,886 No, they don't. 164 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,886 I just did it. 165 00:02:58,886 --> 00:03:00,555 Gee, 166 00:02:58,886 --> 00:03:00,555 they must have changed that. 167 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,014 Oh, great, I'll see you tonight. 168 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,014 What time should I be here? 169 00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,683 Oh, I think it starts 170 00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,683 about 9:30. 171 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,851 No, it'll be over by then. 172 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,851 It starts at 7:00. 173 00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:07,562 They must have 174 00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:07,562 changed that, too. 175 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,229 Thanks, Jay. 176 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,229 See you at 7:00. 177 00:03:09,229 --> 00:03:11,441 Wait, that was 178 00:03:09,229 --> 00:03:11,441 Claire's husband, right? 179 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,859 Yes, it was, Anders, 180 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,859 you stupid ice 181 00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:16,946 I haven't had one night 182 00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:16,946 to myself in six months, 183 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:19,490 but tonight, 184 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:19,490 Manny's going to a party. 185 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,618 And if I can get Joe 186 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,618 tired enough to go to sleep, 187 00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:26,331 I can finally relax 188 00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:26,331 and take a long, nice bath. 189 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,500 I even have a wine glass 190 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,500 that floats. 191 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,670 In case I fall asleep, 192 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,670 nothing bad can happen. 193 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,464 Ohh. 194 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,464 Okay, 195 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,464 little reindeer, 196 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,591 we didn't get 197 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,591 to the North Pole yet. 198 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,592 Ooh. 199 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,176 I'm tired 200 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,176 of this game. 201 00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:43,222 Well, we need to take this food 202 00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:43,222 to Santa Claus. 203 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,182 If not, 204 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,182 he's gonna starve to death. 205 00:03:45,182 --> 00:03:46,601 Which shirt 206 00:03:45,182 --> 00:03:46,601 for the party ... 207 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:47,935 the canary 208 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:47,935 or the daffodil? 209 00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:49,562 We're not 210 00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:49,562 doing this again. 211 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,814 I just the herringbone 212 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,814 or the tweed for your vest. 213 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,691 Just pick one 214 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,691 and go. 215 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:56,026 Okay. 216 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:56,026 Oh, well, this needs ironing. 217 00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:57,570 Okay, jump on. 218 00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,448 Rudolph, 219 00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,448 to the laundry room! 220 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,491 Ohh. 221 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,744 I know it's just 222 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,744 community theater, 223 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,287 but aren't opening nights 224 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,287 so exciting? 225 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,955 Yes, 226 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,955 the cream of society 227 00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:10,291 decked out 228 00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:10,291 in their finest flip-flops. 229 00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:10,291 Mitchell. 230 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,543 Oh, my God, 231 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,543 I can't believe it. 232 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,212 I haven't seen you 233 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,212 since high school! 234 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:17,465 Uh, yes, it's been years, 235 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:17,465 huh, uh, T-T-Tammy. 236 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:19,592 Hey, 237 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:19,592 let me know 238 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,302 if you want to roll around 239 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,302 under the bleachers again, doll. 240 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,177 Oh. 241 00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:23,471 Oh. 242 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,930 That's weird ... I feel like 243 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,930 I would've remembered her. 244 00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,350 Why was she wearing 245 00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,350 a name tag? 246 00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,350 I don't know. 247 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,726 Oh, there he is! 248 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:29,769 Remember that time 249 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:29,769 in band 250 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,271 when you dropped your flute 251 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,271 in the gutter? 252 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,356 I'm sorry ... I never played 253 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,356 the flute or anything ... 254 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,107 Ha! 255 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,107 Old gutter flute. 256 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,861 Okay, 257 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,861 what is going on? 258 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,530 Why is everyone 259 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,530 talking to me? 260 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,532 I think 261 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,532 they're just being friendly. 262 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,532 Cam, oh, my God. 263 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,242 Is ... Is this one of those 264 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,242 interactive theater experiences? 265 00:04:45,242 --> 00:04:47,370 Oh, do you mean 266 00:04:45,242 --> 00:04:47,370 where the audience participates 267 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,789 and the line between 268 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,789 performer and spectator 269 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,206 is delightfully blurred? 270 00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:54,419 Mitchell, we're at 271 00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:54,419 a high-school reunion! 272 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,379 Stop pretending, all right? 273 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,379 You tricked me. 274 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,547 I did not. 275 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,547 You always trick me. 276 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,798 Every time 277 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,798 we leave the house, 278 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,341 it's like a game 279 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,341 of Three-card Monte. 280 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,967 Interactive theater 281 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,967 is fun. 282 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,636 It's not fun. 283 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,636 It's never fun. 284 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,137 It's the worst thing 285 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,137 that can happen to a human 286 00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:06,347 during peace time. 287 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,307 Okay, you know what, 288 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,307 Mitchell? 289 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,516 Please, 290 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,516 I'm on the board, 291 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,017 and I couldn't 292 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,017 not bring my husband 293 00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:11,644 while everyone else's 294 00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:11,644 significant other 295 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,145 is happy 296 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,145 to be here. 297 00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:14,605 It's interactive? 298 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,190 You son of a bitch. 299 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,900 There's a quote 300 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,900 for your poster. 301 00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:25,408 Front door open. 302 00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:25,408 Ay, no! 303 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,368 Please. Who? Who? 304 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,912 Ay, what the hell 305 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,912 are you doing here? 306 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,540 I had the most humiliating 307 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,540 experience of my entire life. 308 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,334 I may never 309 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,334 leave this house again. 310 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,501 Okay, 311 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,501 you're just tired. 312 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,961 I'm gonna make you an espresso, 313 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,961 and you go back. 314 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,504 No, I can't 315 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,504 go back there. 316 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,215 Did you get in trouble again 317 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,215 for adjusting the lighting? 318 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,258 You're still young. 319 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,759 You can take 320 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,759 a bright bulb. 321 00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:45,219 I was flirting 322 00:05:43,759 --> 00:05:45,219 with Ava Morris, 323 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:46,721 and I walked 324 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:46,721 into a coffee table 325 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,138 and hit my shin 326 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,138 really hard 327 00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:49,890 and started crying 328 00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:49,890 in front of everyone. 329 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:51,141 Bad enough ... 330 00:05:51,141 --> 00:05:53,603 but then I noticed I spilled 331 00:05:51,141 --> 00:05:53,603 my drink on my crotch area, 332 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,605 creating 333 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,605 a very incriminating stain. 334 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,148 I ran to the bathroom and 335 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,148 started drying it with a towel, 336 00:05:58,148 --> 00:05:59,400 but the door swung open, 337 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,985 and I was viewed 338 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,985 by my classmates 339 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,653 vigorously attending 340 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,653 to my groin. 341 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:05,281 Oh, and did I mention 342 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:05,281 the picture of Ava's grandmother 343 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,825 water skiing in a bikini 344 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,825 that was directly in my eyeline? 345 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:09,494 That happens to everyone 346 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:09,494 sometimes. 347 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,245 You're gonna be fine 348 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,245 once you drink ... 349 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,663 Ay, no! 350 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,164 Hi, Mama! 351 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,164 Hi, Mama! Hi, Mama! 352 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,878 In the workplace, 353 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,878 we women have been told 354 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,673 to suppress it, 355 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,673 contain it, ignore it. 356 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,550 Well, you know what I say? 357 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,135 Grab it! 358 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,135 Grab it. 359 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,845 Alex is not 360 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,845 my most expressive child, 361 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,764 but when she enrolled 362 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,764 in a business class 363 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,599 and then signed up 364 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,599 for a lecture series 365 00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,351 called "Meet the She-E-O," 366 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:36,937 it was pretty clear to me 367 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:36,937 what she was trying to say ... 368 00:06:36,937 --> 00:06:38,314 "I admire you, Mom." 369 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:40,107 So, what do you think? 370 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:40,107 Quiet. 371 00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:41,776 I think ... 372 00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:41,776 Stop talking. 373 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,193 I mean, sure, it was tough ... 374 00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:45,237 raising three kids 375 00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:45,237 and running a business. 376 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:48,491 But when the chance 377 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:48,491 to be She-E-O arose, 378 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,868 I had only one thought. 379 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,161 Grab it. 380 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,161 Grab it. 381 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,161 Grab it. 382 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,161 Grab it. 383 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,829 I get it. 384 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,829 I grabbed it. 385 00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:55,122 I will move 386 00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:55,122 my seat. 387 00:06:55,122 --> 00:06:57,667 A mother knows 388 00:06:55,122 --> 00:06:57,667 how to read between the lines. 389 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,336 Alex's mouth may have said, 390 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,336 "You're embarrassing me." 391 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:03,798 But her heart was saying, 392 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:03,798 "You're inspiring me." 393 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,008 "Leave me alone." 394 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,343 "Show me the way." 395 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,053 "Are you still talking?" 396 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,514 "Never stop rocking." 397 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,558 Okay, first question. 398 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,726 Ah, right up front. 399 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:16,769 Hi. Hi. 400 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,396 Hi, I'm Alex. 401 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,105 Long-time reader, 402 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,105 first-time grabber. 403 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,608 Anyway, I'm a biochemistry major 404 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,608 at CalTech, 405 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,735 but your book got me thinking 406 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,735 about a business career. 407 00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,321 And now I'm considering 408 00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,321 double-majoring, 409 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,615 but is that taking on 410 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,615 a little too much? 411 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:30,908 Alex, look at me. 412 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,786 If you can think it, 413 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,786 you can grab it. 414 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,496 Aah! Oh, my God! 415 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,457 You're my hero, Nancy. 416 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,457 Thank you. 417 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,458 Who's next? 418 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,834 Hmm? 419 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,752 I've got a ... 420 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,752 just a quick comment. 421 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,838 Um, I also raised 422 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,838 three children, 423 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,257 and I am the She-E-O 424 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,257 of a large company. 425 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,467 And I got to say, 426 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,134 it's like 427 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,134 looking in a mirror, Nancy. 428 00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:50,720 That's great. 429 00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:50,720 What's the company? 430 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,597 Pritchett's 431 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,597 Closets and Blinds. 432 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,307 You sell 433 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,307 closets and blinds? 434 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,558 Mm-hmm. 435 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,143 I could understand shutters 436 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,143 and blinds or closets and... 437 00:07:58,143 --> 00:07:59,562 We're good, 438 00:07:58,143 --> 00:07:59,562 Nancy. 439 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,023 What I wanted to talk about 440 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,023 was how on page 1 of your book, 441 00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:06,277 you say you had hard time 442 00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:06,277 not bringing your work home. 443 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,070 That was just a joke. 444 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,823 As you remember, my business 445 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,823 was started in my garage. 446 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,325 Ah. 447 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,578 So, you know how it's not 448 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,578 just family time that matters. 449 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,580 It's quality family time. 450 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,123 I agree. 451 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,916 That's why I home-school 452 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,916 all three of my children. 453 00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:23,043 The conference table 454 00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:23,043 in our boardroom 455 00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:25,170 actually rests 456 00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:25,170 on their play structure. 457 00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:27,089 What am I saying? 458 00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:27,089 Stand up, kids? 459 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,175 Aww! 460 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,175 Aww! 461 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,175 Aww! 462 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,175 Aww! 463 00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:31,552 So, three daddies? 464 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,845 You sound insane! 465 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,054 All right. 466 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,392 Hey, Pritch, 467 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,392 isn't that your gay son? 468 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,644 Son-in-law. 469 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,770 You've got 470 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,770 a gay son-in-law, too? 471 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:43,856 I'm not doing this dance 472 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:43,856 with you guys again. 473 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,443 I don't know 474 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,443 what I was worried about. 475 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,820 All I had to do 476 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,820 was let Phil be Phil. 477 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,531 He'd never get past the vote. 478 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,116 Fortunately, clueless boobs 479 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,116 are one group 480 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,952 the Supreme Court 481 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,952 can't force us to let in. 482 00:08:56,952 --> 00:08:58,746 So, tell us 483 00:08:56,952 --> 00:08:58,746 about yourself, Phil. 484 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:02,166 Well, uh, you and I have 485 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:02,166 something in common, actually. 486 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,793 We're both Congressmen. 487 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,378 Go on, with that, 488 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,378 Phil. 489 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,087 You're in 490 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,087 the state congress, 491 00:09:07,087 --> 00:09:09,549 and I was in 492 00:09:07,087 --> 00:09:09,549 the Junior Tumbling Congress. 493 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,050 I was 494 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,050 in Tumbling Congress. 495 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,593 You trampoline? 496 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,762 I'm on my tramp 497 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,762 like three nights a week! 498 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,848 The rest of the time, 499 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,848 I'm ... I'm with my wife. 500 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,358 So, I go back 501 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,358 to the seller 502 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,944 with an all-cash 503 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,944 no-contingency offer 504 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,446 that'd pay off 505 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,446 both his mortgages 506 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,947 and leave enough 507 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,947 after capital gains 508 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,865 to put a down payment 509 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,865 on a condo. 510 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,285 I give him an hour 511 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,285 or I'm pulling the offer. 512 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,454 I love this story. 513 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,454 It's like a western. 514 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,996 It was a nightmare. 515 00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:43,749 Tumbling stories, bad jokes, 516 00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:43,749 and they ate it up! 517 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,626 I'd say they were being polite, 518 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,462 but I've personally seen 519 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,462 two of those guys 520 00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,505 hit pedestrians 521 00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,505 and not even slow down! 522 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,799 No, true story! 523 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,799 True story. 524 00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:52,925 One second. 525 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,677 These guys are great. 526 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,970 Listen. 527 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,305 You need one more move 528 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,305 to drive this home, 529 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,764 and I'm thinking, 530 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,559 what does Phil 531 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,559 bring to the party no else does? 532 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,560 Magic. 533 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,228 Are you sure? 534 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,228 I'm a little rusty. 535 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,187 My money's on you. 536 00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:06,731 Go big, 537 00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:06,731 then go home. 538 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,232 Sounded like you said ... 539 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,232 Hey, everybody! 540 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,984 Phil's gonna do 541 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,984 a little magic trick for you. 542 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,527 Okay, uh... 543 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,822 This one is for 544 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,822 all of the lawyers in the room 545 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:18,534 because you're so good 546 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:18,534 at making our money... 547 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,952 disappear. 548 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,537 Oh, hold on. 549 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,873 Um... 550 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,252 Congressman Morley, 551 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,252 enough with the taxes. 552 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,044 You don't see us 553 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,044 making you pay... 554 00:10:29,044 --> 00:10:30,380 through the nose. 555 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,756 Okay, hold on. 556 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,756 Nobody move, I got this! 557 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,798 Oh! 558 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,275 Who am I kidding? 559 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,275 I can't fall asleep. 560 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,318 Every car alarm, 561 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,318 every whistle of the wind 562 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,153 sounds like 563 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,153 people laughing at me. 564 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,530 It's all 565 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,530 in your imagination. 566 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,576 I just want 567 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,576 to Netflix and Mom. 568 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,745 Manny, 569 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,745 you don't understand. 570 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,748 An hour ago, 571 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,748 I had made the perfect tub! 572 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,583 Yeah, thanks again for that, 573 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,583 but it didn't help. 574 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:08,584 Sugar! 575 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:09,752 I love sugar! 576 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,337 Okay, 577 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,337 that is it! 578 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,714 You don't want 579 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,714 to go to sleep! 580 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,466 And you don't want 581 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,466 to go to the party! 582 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,134 Then I'm canceling 583 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,134 the nighttime! 584 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,093 Mom? 585 00:11:18,093 --> 00:11:19,595 You heard me. 586 00:11:18,093 --> 00:11:19,595 It's tomorrow. 587 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,306 We're going to school. 588 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,390 Wait for me 589 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,390 in the car. 590 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,933 Hey, Jay. 591 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,225 If you get this, 592 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,225 please come ... 593 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:27,853 No one 594 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:27,853 can help you now! 595 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,856 Yo, looks like 596 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,856 everyone made it. 597 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:31,982 But where's Vlad? 598 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,360 The exchange student 599 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,360 from Latvia? 600 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,695 I haven't seen him. 601 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,947 I'd love to catch up 602 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,947 with that dreamboat. 603 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:41,033 So much has happened 604 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:41,033 since high school. 605 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,618 Alcoholism. 606 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:46,038 I tried to find happiness 607 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:46,038 in the bottom of a bottle. 608 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,208 A shattering depiction 609 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,208 of human suffering. 610 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,210 But enough 611 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,210 about how I felt. 612 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,170 I just keep remembering 613 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,170 how Vlad and I 614 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,964 had the best time 615 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,964 in high school. 616 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:58,801 For some of us, 617 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:58,801 that was the last best time. 618 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,052 Vietnam. 619 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,220 Oof. 620 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,306 What time period 621 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,306 was all this taking place? 622 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,516 It didn't make any sense. 623 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,810 The way things ended 624 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,810 with me and Vlad, 625 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,061 it still haunts me. 626 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,731 A lot of things 627 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,731 haunt me. 628 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,400 It was the night of the prom. 629 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,985 Car accident. 630 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,985 Shh. 631 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,612 The roads were very icy. 632 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,905 Car accident. 633 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,905 You don't know. 634 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,908 Through the mist, 635 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,908 I saw the truck's headlights. 636 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:26,621 When I came to, the doctor 637 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:26,621 told me we'd been in a horrible 638 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,080 car accident! 639 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,080 Car accident. 640 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,874 Oh, you've got 641 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,874 to be kidding me. 642 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,001 Mitchell, this is the theater. 643 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,001 Have some respect. 644 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,629 All you have to do 645 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,629 is sit there and be quiet. 646 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,797 Tammy, you are never 647 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,797 gonna believe who's here. 648 00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,633 Who? 649 00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,633 Vlad. 650 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,468 Oh, my God, 651 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,468 where? 652 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,886 Out there. 653 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:49,852 There he is. 654 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:49,852 That's Vlad. 655 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,484 I swear I didn't know 656 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,484 they were gonna pick you. 657 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,860 They probably 658 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,860 assumed you were fun 659 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,279 because you were with me. 660 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,279 They didn't know. 661 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,822 Vlad, come up here. 662 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,408 Move your country ass. 663 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,408 I'm ... I'm leaving. 664 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,575 No, no. 665 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:05,993 Just go up there, 666 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:05,993 hug Tammy, 667 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,620 and wait 668 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,620 for the surprise ending. 669 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,330 I don't care about 670 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,330 the surprise ending! 671 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,790 You go be Vlad. 672 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,208 I can't be Vlad because 673 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,208 I am the surprise ending. 674 00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:14,835 What? 675 00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:14,835 And it's a show-stopper. 676 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,296 I've been rehearsing 677 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,296 for weeks. 678 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,088 Now, just stop being selfish 679 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,088 and get up there. 680 00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,382 Just do it! 681 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,966 We all want 682 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,966 to get out of here! 683 00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,134 Vlad. 684 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,515 I didn't know how, 685 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,515 I didn't know when, 686 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,891 but I was gonna get him. 687 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,477 Vladdie, sweetie, 688 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,477 you're here. 689 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,604 Oh, you're really here. 690 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,855 Not okay. 691 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,524 Oh, what a happy ending. 692 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,650 I'll say. 693 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,069 Okay, okay. 694 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,571 That ... 695 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,571 That is your gum. 696 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,738 What a great reunion. 697 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,740 Yeah, 698 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,740 everybody made it. 699 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,075 Almost everybody. 700 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,242 Oh. 701 00:13:47,242 --> 00:13:48,494 Hello, students! 702 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,455 Janitor Joe! 703 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,455 Janitor Joe! 704 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,455 Janitor Joe! 705 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,082 Or should I say 706 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,082 farewell? 707 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,084 All of a sudden, I knew how. 708 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,087 Hello again, students. 709 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:02,300 Or should I say 710 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:02,300 farewell? 711 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,843 And I knew when. 712 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,387 Wait, wait, does ... 713 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,387 does anybody else 714 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,513 see his ghost 715 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,513 right now? 716 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,723 What? 717 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,350 Yeah, who could forget 718 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,018 how he courageously 719 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,018 showed up to our 25th 720 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,063 and then ... and then died 721 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,063 in front of all of us. 722 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,607 No, I'm about to die 723 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,607 right now. 724 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,567 Mm-hmm, in fact, I ... 725 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,567 I remember his death 726 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,986 went a little something 727 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,986 like ... like this. 728 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,614 I've lived 729 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,614 a long life. 730 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,949 Mitchell, 731 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,949 what are you doing? 732 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,949 Many friends. 733 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,909 Oh, my beautiful Bess. 734 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,080 Even took a trip 735 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,080 to Washington, D.C., 736 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,708 and had my picture made 737 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,708 with the Congressman. 738 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,918 Never had any children, 739 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,918 of course. 740 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:43,549 Which is why it was so important 741 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:43,549 that I made it here tonight. 742 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,760 To see each of you. 743 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,930 You are my children! 744 00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:53,268 And I want to leave you 745 00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:53,268 with this one last thing. 746 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,644 Do not go gentle ... 747 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,771 Do not go gentle 748 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,771 into that good night. 749 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,856 Rage! 750 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:04,529 Rage against 751 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:04,529 the dying of the light! 752 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,784 And I don't feel good either. 753 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,038 Yeah, 754 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,038 good save. 755 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,206 Find anything 756 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,206 on "Grab It" lady? 757 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,293 "Nancy Decker lawsuit" ... 758 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,293 nope. 759 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,795 "Nancy Decker nose job" ... 760 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,795 nope. 761 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:23,423 "Nancy Decker kills..." ... 762 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:23,423 Oh! 763 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,758 "... at CEO 764 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,758 comedy night." 765 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,135 Hello, we're here. 766 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,345 Gloria? 767 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,596 Haley, 768 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,596 you remember that day 769 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,682 when you said 770 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,682 that if I ever needed a nanny, 771 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,393 you would love 772 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,393 to take care of Joe? 773 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,519 Well, 774 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,519 here you go. 775 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,519 No, no. 776 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,313 You can keep him 777 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,313 for as long as you want. 778 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,439 Thank you. 779 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,400 Uh, no, uh, that doesn't really 780 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,400 sound like me, 781 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,860 plus I have a 9-to-5 job now, 782 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,860 so bye. 783 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,153 Please take me 784 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,153 with you. 785 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,572 What's going on? 786 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,574 Mama's crazy. 787 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,117 I am not crazy! 788 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,117 I just canceled the night. 789 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,537 Manny, maybe you could 790 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,537 help out here. 791 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,497 Mom's upset 792 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,497 because Joe won't go to sleep 793 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,998 and I won't 794 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,998 go back to a party. 795 00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,875 You won't go back 796 00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,875 to a party? Why? 797 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:03,045 I suffered an unfortunate series 798 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:03,045 of embarrassing incidents. 799 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:06,215 I just want a wine bath 800 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:06,215 and to go to sleep. 801 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,467 Listen up, Manny. 802 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,134 Of course you want 803 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,134 to run away 804 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,636 from whatever happened 805 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,636 back that party. 806 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,054 Anybody would. 807 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,808 But that just guarantees 808 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,808 that it sticks with you forever. 809 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:20,145 But if you march back in there 810 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:20,145 and you own it, 811 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,523 you let those people know 812 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,523 that you're better than them, 813 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,567 and you will be 814 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,567 a legend. 815 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,026 Okay. 816 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,026 Yeah. 817 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:27,320 Okay. 818 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,739 You, get on the couch, 819 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,739 go to sleep. 820 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,449 But I'm not tired. 821 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,909 Don't care. 822 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,909 Five, four, three... 823 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,244 Okay, I'm going! 824 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,204 two... 825 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,204 "Okay, I'm going"? 826 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,375 I spend hours trying, 827 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,375 and then you just come one ... 828 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:43,378 The only thing I did 829 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:43,378 was not be their mother. 830 00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:46,756 Look, I don't get it, either, 831 00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:46,756 but for some reason... 832 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,091 the kids respond 833 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,091 better to other adults. 834 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,843 Yeah, 835 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,843 but that's not fair. 836 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,678 Well, most of being a parent 837 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,678 isn't fair. 838 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,054 Right now, 839 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,054 Alex is obsessed 840 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,391 with some 841 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,391 CEO business woman author 842 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:59,727 who's basically 843 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:59,727 an older-looking version of me. 844 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:00,895 We're the same age, 845 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:00,895 by the way. 846 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,605 You know that Alex 847 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,605 look up to you, right? 848 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,524 Not by anything 849 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,524 she says, no. 850 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,150 Yeah, 851 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,150 they never say it. 852 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,735 I guess they think 853 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,070 that they're giving the parents 854 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,070 too much power. 855 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,907 They find little ways 856 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,907 to express it. 857 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:15,034 Being a mom 858 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:15,034 is like being a model. 859 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,077 You have to learn 860 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,077 how to live on crumbs. 861 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,078 Hmm. 862 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,831 Hi, honey. 863 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:21,707 Hey. 864 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,421 Right. 865 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,465 Honey, I'm so sorry about 866 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,465 the way I was tonight. 867 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,008 It's okay. 868 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,177 I actually got to go backstage 869 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,177 and meet Nancy. 870 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,220 She invited a few of us 871 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,220 out for coffee. 872 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,597 Oh, fun. 873 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:39,058 Yeah, no, uh, 874 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:39,058 not fun, actually. 875 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,685 All she did 876 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,685 was talk about herself. 877 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,562 It really just seemed like 878 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,562 she wanted an audience. 879 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,315 And when the check came, 880 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,315 you know what she didn't do? 881 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,316 Grab it. 882 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,400 Sorry. 883 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,818 Joe's sleeping 884 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,818 in the couch. 885 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,945 Can he stay here? 886 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,945 Okay, thank you so much. 887 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:54,657 Well, I mean, 888 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:54,657 the night wasn't a total waste. 889 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,367 After she left, 890 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,367 I sat there thinking, 891 00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,910 "Why am I taking 892 00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,910 a business course anyway?" 893 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,495 I should go out in the world 894 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,495 and do something. 895 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,164 So I saw a help-wanted sign 896 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,164 in the coffee shop 897 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,749 and got a job 898 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,749 as a barista. 899 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:04,709 Really? 900 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,168 Yeah, 901 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,168 I start tomorrow. 902 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,795 I'm excited. 903 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,046 I just thought, 904 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,046 why not get out there 905 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,381 and get my hands 906 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,381 a little dirty, you know? 907 00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,799 Mm-hmm. 908 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,801 Good night. 909 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,886 Good night. 910 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,062 Sauna over here. 911 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,897 Hot tub that way. 912 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,566 Legend has it 913 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,566 that the holes 914 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,109 in the individual 915 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,109 shower partitions 916 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,652 were cigar holders. 917 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,153 At least that's the story 918 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,153 we're sticking to. 919 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,115 Follow me, folks. 920 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,742 Ever been in here, 921 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,742 Jay? 922 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,660 This looks like 923 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,660 a good place 924 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,662 to sweat out 925 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,662 some Peach Melba. 926 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,584 Uh-oh. 927 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,584 What did you do? 928 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,003 I'm stuck. 929 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,129 I think there's a wet towel 930 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,129 wedged underneath the door. 931 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,589 Could you 932 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,589 pull on it? 933 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,008 Is this gonna happen 934 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,008 all the time now? 935 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:56,302 Me babysitting you 936 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:56,302 every minute of the day? 937 00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,347 It won't budge. 938 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,641 Oh, wait, I think 939 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,641 I found the emergency button. 940 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,017 No, no! 941 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,017 Okay! 942 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,395 Jay, I'm trying 943 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,395 not to panic. 944 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,771 Stand back ... 945 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,771 I'm gonna throw 946 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,649 one of these emergency rocks 947 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,649 through the glass! 948 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,692 Aah-aah! 949 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,692 That's hot! 950 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,319 I'm texting 951 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,319 the front desk. 952 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,570 Listen, Phil, 953 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,570 I can't do this. 954 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,696 You're leaving me here? 955 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,157 No, I can't have you 956 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,157 at this club! 957 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,034 This is my place, 958 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,034 damn it. 959 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,327 No! 960 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,870 I'm sorry, Phil. 961 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,414 Can't you find 962 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,414 another club? 963 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,956 I mean, 964 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,956 look at my life. 965 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,458 I mean, 966 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,458 I built my house, 967 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,043 and before I even lived in it, 968 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,043 I got married. 969 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,127 And that's fantastic. 970 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,837 And then 971 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,837 I have my study, 972 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,381 where I can close the door 973 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,381 and have a glass of Scotch. 974 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,215 And now it's Joe's room, 975 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,215 and that's fantastic. 976 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,217 But this is the only place 977 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,217 I have left 978 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:38,344 that I don't have to share 979 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:38,344 with my family. 980 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,348 I don't want to be that guy, 981 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,348 but did you send that text yet? 982 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,933 The one place 983 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,933 I feel special ... 984 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,143 they call me "Ace" 985 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,143 and "Jay Boy" and "Pritch." 986 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,271 I'm not comfortable 987 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,271 other places, okay? 988 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:50,189 But you ... 989 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:50,189 you fit in everywhere. 990 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,107 The whole world 991 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,107 is your club! 992 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,484 But I have this place! 993 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:54,985 You get that, 994 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:54,985 right? 995 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,494 Maintenance arrived 996 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,494 one minute later 997 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,496 and packed him in ice 998 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,496 from the seafood bar, 999 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:06,664 and he was as good as new. 1000 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:09,667 How you feeling? 1001 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,752 Better. 1002 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,921 Jay, I was thinking about 1003 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,921 what you said before. 1004 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,425 It was so honest 1005 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,425 and sensitive. 1006 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:18,551 And vulnerable. 1007 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:19,760 Hey. 1008 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,262 No one needs to know 1009 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,262 about that. 1010 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,222 Anyway, 1011 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,222 this is your club. 1012 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,099 I'm ... 1013 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,099 I'm dropping out. 1014 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,976 Well, you deserve it 1015 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,976 just as much as I do. 1016 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,436 It's fine. 1017 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,522 I can't let you 1018 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,522 give all this up. 1019 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:34,567 For God's sake, 1020 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:34,567 there's the club chair 1021 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,402 Fatty Arbuckle 1022 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,402 anxiously awaited his verdict. 1023 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:37,903 Jay, I mean it. 1024 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,905 Well, at least let me 1025 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,905 give you something in return. 1026 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:40,906 You name it. 1027 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,074 Really? 1028 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,201 Yeah. 1029 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,201 Well... 1030 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,579 I don't like 1031 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,579 how happy you look right now. 1032 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,038 This is living, huh? 1033 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,583 How long 1034 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,583 do we have this thing for? 1035 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,876 Only three hours. 1036 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,210 You saw the sign. 1037 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,712 Every bounce counts! 1038 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:55,713 Yes! 1039 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,632 Get you some! 1040 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,632 Get it! 1041 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:04,013 The way things ended with me 1042 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:04,013 and Vlad, it always haunted me. 1043 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,222 Cam wasn't wrong 1044 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,222 about this. 1045 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,474 We paid 1046 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,474 for the whole seat, 1047 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:07,767 but we're only using 1048 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:07,767 the edge of it. 1049 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,269 You know, 1050 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,269 I only owe you so much. 1051 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,396 You don't get 1052 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,396 an unlimited number of these. 1053 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:14,524 Tammy, you are never 1054 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:14,524 gonna believe who's here. 1055 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:15,900 Who? 1056 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:15,900 Vlad. 1057 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,902 Oh, my God, 1058 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,902 where? 1059 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,028 Out there. 1060 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,906 I think might 1061 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,906 duck out early. 1062 00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:24,534 There he is. 1063 00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:24,534 That's Vlad. 1064 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,868 Lucky! 1065 00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:33,083 Captions by VITAC :