1 00:00:01,281 --> 00:00:03,740 Can I have that dropped 2 00:00:01,281 --> 00:00:03,740 at the gift table for you? 3 00:00:03,740 --> 00:00:06,073 Ah, I think I'll hang onto this. 4 00:00:03,740 --> 00:00:06,073 This is a special gift. 5 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:09,115 It's a wine fridge ... 6 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:09,115 36 bottles, stainless steel, 7 00:00:09,115 --> 00:00:11,240 dual temp zones for your whites, 8 00:00:09,115 --> 00:00:11,240 your reds. 9 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,573 She doesn't care. Okay. 10 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,573 And neither did the priest. 11 00:00:13,573 --> 00:00:14,906 Father O'GodHe'sHot. 12 00:00:14,906 --> 00:00:16,906 - I know. Those lips, right? 13 00:00:14,906 --> 00:00:16,906 - Hey, hey, hey. 14 00:00:16,906 --> 00:00:18,740 Is that appropriate? 15 00:00:16,906 --> 00:00:18,740 - Appropriate? 16 00:00:18,740 --> 00:00:19,906 You never carried us around 17 00:00:18,740 --> 00:00:19,906 as proudly 18 00:00:19,906 --> 00:00:21,448 as you're carrying 19 00:00:19,906 --> 00:00:21,448 around that thing. 20 00:00:21,448 --> 00:00:24,948 30 years ago, I didn't do your 21 00:00:21,448 --> 00:00:24,948 Aunt Becky's closets for free. 22 00:00:24,948 --> 00:00:27,615 The whole family got together 23 00:00:24,948 --> 00:00:27,615 and decided I was cheap ... 24 00:00:27,615 --> 00:00:29,115 called me "High Pockets." 25 00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:30,990 Well, we'll see what her boy 26 00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:30,990 Brian says 27 00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:33,615 when he opens what 28 00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:33,615 Esquire Magazine called 29 00:00:33,615 --> 00:00:36,490 "the last under-counter 30 00:00:33,615 --> 00:00:36,490 wine fridge you'll ever need." 31 00:00:36,490 --> 00:00:37,490 Wow. 32 00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:39,990 High Pockets. 33 00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:41,781 Can we just find the bar? 34 00:00:41,781 --> 00:00:43,115 How funny would it be 35 00:00:41,781 --> 00:00:43,115 if I said no? 36 00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:46,115 Mother of... us. 37 00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:47,323 Mom! 38 00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:47,323 What is she doing here? 39 00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:49,115 She's not even related 40 00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:49,115 to these people! 41 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,448 Oh, my God. 42 00:00:50,448 --> 00:00:52,615 You, me, Mom, Dad, alone. 43 00:00:52,615 --> 00:00:54,448 Without Gloria 44 00:00:52,615 --> 00:00:54,448 to absorb the hate. 45 00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:56,615 Okay, why am I scared? 46 00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:56,615 I'm feeling scared. 47 00:00:56,615 --> 00:00:58,781 Because you are flashing back 48 00:00:56,615 --> 00:00:58,781 to every family event 49 00:00:58,781 --> 00:01:00,781 that ended with Dad 50 00:00:58,781 --> 00:01:00,781 whisper-screaming at Mom, 51 00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:03,156 "Would you calm down?" while 52 00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:03,156 she would swing her pocketbook 53 00:01:03,156 --> 00:01:06,156 around until it burst open 54 00:01:03,156 --> 00:01:06,156 like a pill-packed pinata. 55 00:01:06,156 --> 00:01:09,156 Oh, God. I-I don't want to be 56 00:01:06,156 --> 00:01:09,156 the make-a-scene family. Again. 57 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,823 Well, Dad's not leaving 58 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,823 until they award him CNN Hero 59 00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:13,031 for bringing 60 00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:13,031 the wine fridge, 61 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,490 so maybe we just each 62 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,490 take a parent 63 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,490 and try and keep them apart 64 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,490 as much as possible? 65 00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:19,031 Probably our best shot 66 00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:19,031 at an uneventful day. 67 00:01:19,031 --> 00:01:21,490 But can we please not fight over 68 00:01:19,031 --> 00:01:21,490 who has to care of ... 69 00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:23,698 Mom! 70 00:01:23,698 --> 00:01:24,698 - Mitchell! 71 00:01:23,698 --> 00:01:24,698 - Hey! 72 00:01:24,698 --> 00:01:25,990 Hi. 73 00:01:25,990 --> 00:01:29,823 Oh, it's so good 74 00:01:25,990 --> 00:01:29,823 to see you, honey. Mm! 75 00:01:43,490 --> 00:01:45,698 Hey. I got us a campus map, 76 00:01:43,490 --> 00:01:45,698 and look at this ... 77 00:01:45,698 --> 00:01:48,198 My old college frat 78 00:01:45,698 --> 00:01:48,198 has a chapter here! 79 00:01:48,198 --> 00:01:49,865 By legacy rights, 80 00:01:48,198 --> 00:01:49,865 I'm entitled 81 00:01:49,865 --> 00:01:52,365 to use the main-floor bathroom 82 00:01:49,865 --> 00:01:52,365 and sign out a Frisbee. 83 00:01:52,365 --> 00:01:53,698 Cool. 84 00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:55,531 Wow, you're really giving 85 00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:55,531 those bands a workout. 86 00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,865 Oh, just burning off 87 00:01:55,531 --> 00:01:57,865 some nervous energy. 88 00:01:57,865 --> 00:02:00,365 They don't ask questions 89 00:01:57,865 --> 00:02:00,365 on a college tour, right? 90 00:02:00,365 --> 00:02:03,740 Luke and I, Gloria, and Manny 91 00:02:00,365 --> 00:02:03,740 are going on a college tour! 92 00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:06,865 Safety school for Manny, 93 00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:06,865 long shot for Luke, 94 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:09,073 which hasn't been great 95 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:09,073 for his self-esteem. 96 00:02:09,073 --> 00:02:10,531 Luckily, as a former 97 00:02:09,073 --> 00:02:10,531 cheerleader, 98 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,365 I haven't lost my gift 99 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,365 for lifting spirits. 100 00:02:13,365 --> 00:02:16,531 Though I can no longer make an N 101 00:02:13,365 --> 00:02:16,531 with my body. 102 00:02:16,531 --> 00:02:18,240 Wow. 103 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,531 This is a great workout. 104 00:02:19,531 --> 00:02:20,865 Ow! No! 105 00:02:20,865 --> 00:02:22,365 Sorry, sorry! 106 00:02:20,865 --> 00:02:22,365 Guys, come look! 107 00:02:22,365 --> 00:02:24,406 I did something very bad. 108 00:02:27,406 --> 00:02:29,781 Manny is taking a nap, 109 00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:32,240 so I put 110 00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:32,240 a pig-a-let in the bed! 111 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,240 Oh, my God. 112 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,406 Where'd you get that? 113 00:02:34,406 --> 00:02:37,240 You remember those farmers 114 00:02:34,406 --> 00:02:37,240 that we met? 115 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,573 You'll be surprised what they'll 116 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,573 do for a couple of big tips. 117 00:02:40,573 --> 00:02:42,740 What did you hear? 118 00:02:44,115 --> 00:02:46,073 Aah! 119 00:02:44,115 --> 00:02:46,073 Whoa! What is that? 120 00:02:46,073 --> 00:02:47,906 It's a pig-a-let! 121 00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:50,073 Man, you should see 122 00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:50,073 your face! 123 00:02:50,073 --> 00:02:52,406 Ohh, it licked my face! 124 00:02:50,073 --> 00:02:52,406 Why would you do this? 125 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,740 Aye, Manny, 126 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,740 don't be so uptight! 127 00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:56,740 I'm preparing you for college 128 00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:59,406 so that you fit in 129 00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:59,406 and make some friends. 130 00:02:59,406 --> 00:03:02,240 I took the idea from watching 131 00:02:59,406 --> 00:03:02,240 "The Animal House," 132 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,906 "The Old School" movie... 133 00:03:03,906 --> 00:03:06,906 College is about higher 134 00:03:03,906 --> 00:03:06,906 education, not pranks. 135 00:03:06,906 --> 00:03:08,656 Nerd! 136 00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,490 - There she is! 137 00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,490 - Hey, lady. 138 00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:13,115 Yeah, I can't give you 139 00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:13,115 free stuff. 140 00:03:13,115 --> 00:03:14,948 - Let's go. 141 00:03:13,115 --> 00:03:14,948 - Okay, take care. 142 00:03:14,948 --> 00:03:16,615 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, 143 00:03:14,948 --> 00:03:16,615 wait, wait. 144 00:03:16,615 --> 00:03:18,948 Oh, my gosh. 145 00:03:16,615 --> 00:03:18,948 It's her. 146 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,615 Who? 147 00:03:20,615 --> 00:03:21,990 The blonde over there in the 148 00:03:20,615 --> 00:03:21,990 cute jacket and fab shoes. 149 00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:24,990 If that's who I think it is, 150 00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:24,990 we hate her so hard. 151 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:28,281 Last night, I was robbed. 152 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:28,281 That's right. 153 00:03:28,281 --> 00:03:30,656 There I was at 154 00:03:28,281 --> 00:03:30,656 Lily's dance recital, 155 00:03:30,656 --> 00:03:32,115 breathlessly anticipating 156 00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:34,448 my baby's first-ever 157 00:03:32,115 --> 00:03:34,448 ballet solo. 158 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,948 Okay, here it comes. 159 00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:39,115 This moment is worth every cent 160 00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:39,115 of the $2,000 in lessons. 161 00:03:39,115 --> 00:03:40,490 What? 162 00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:42,615 Oh, my gosh. 163 00:03:40,490 --> 00:03:42,615 I can't see. 164 00:03:42,615 --> 00:03:44,323 Didn't they say 165 00:03:42,615 --> 00:03:44,323 no filming? 166 00:03:44,323 --> 00:03:45,948 Excuse me. Miss? 167 00:03:45,948 --> 00:03:47,323 Did you just see that? 168 00:03:47,323 --> 00:03:48,948 That horrid woman robbed me 169 00:03:48,948 --> 00:03:50,365 of my proud daddy moment 170 00:03:50,365 --> 00:03:52,656 and forced me to lie 171 00:03:50,365 --> 00:03:52,656 to my daughter. 172 00:03:52,656 --> 00:03:55,323 "You danced beautifully, Lily!" 173 00:03:52,656 --> 00:03:55,323 But did she? 174 00:03:55,323 --> 00:03:56,823 I have no idea! 175 00:03:56,823 --> 00:03:58,490 Why didn't you smack her down 176 00:03:56,823 --> 00:03:58,490 last night? 177 00:03:58,490 --> 00:03:59,656 With words, obviously. 178 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,323 Wait, can gays 179 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,323 smack women? 180 00:04:01,323 --> 00:04:02,698 No. 181 00:04:02,698 --> 00:04:03,990 No! 182 00:04:02,698 --> 00:04:03,990 You know what, 183 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,323 I would have cussed her out 184 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,323 last night, 185 00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:06,531 except the selfish hag 186 00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:06,531 left the moment 187 00:04:06,531 --> 00:04:08,031 her daughter's dance 188 00:04:06,531 --> 00:04:08,031 was over. 189 00:04:08,031 --> 00:04:10,823 I hope there's no rule in here 190 00:04:08,031 --> 00:04:10,823 about causing a commotion. 191 00:04:10,823 --> 00:04:11,656 I mean, we didn't really 192 00:04:10,823 --> 00:04:11,656 feel the need 193 00:04:11,656 --> 00:04:14,865 to put it up on a sign because, 194 00:04:11,656 --> 00:04:14,865 you know, civilization. 195 00:04:14,865 --> 00:04:17,156 Well, I answer 196 00:04:14,865 --> 00:04:17,156 to a higher law. 197 00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:19,156 Hey! Get back here! 198 00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:19,156 You don't even know it's her. 199 00:04:19,156 --> 00:04:20,531 You're basing this off 200 00:04:19,156 --> 00:04:20,531 of the back of the head 201 00:04:20,531 --> 00:04:21,656 of someone you saw 202 00:04:20,531 --> 00:04:21,656 in the dark. 203 00:04:21,656 --> 00:04:23,990 That may be how you recognize 204 00:04:21,656 --> 00:04:23,990 your old boyfriends, but... 205 00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:25,490 Excuse me. 206 00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:27,323 As much as I admire that 207 00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:27,323 and do intend on using it 208 00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:31,198 on Mitchell without giving you 209 00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:31,198 any credit, there is a line. 210 00:04:31,198 --> 00:04:35,531 So, Mom, I didn't know that you 211 00:04:31,198 --> 00:04:35,531 would be, uh, be here. 212 00:04:35,531 --> 00:04:38,531 Oh, well, I wasn't 213 00:04:35,531 --> 00:04:38,531 planning on it ... 214 00:04:38,531 --> 00:04:40,698 I haven't seen these people 215 00:04:38,531 --> 00:04:40,698 since the divorce ... 216 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,198 Yeah. 217 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,198 But then my new hubby 218 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,198 had to work, 219 00:04:43,198 --> 00:04:45,365 and I thought ... 220 00:04:43,198 --> 00:04:45,365 "Write a new story, Dede." 221 00:04:45,365 --> 00:04:46,365 Yeah! 222 00:04:47,365 --> 00:04:48,531 So, are you here alone, 223 00:04:47,365 --> 00:04:48,531 or...? 224 00:04:48,531 --> 00:04:51,031 You look great! 225 00:04:48,531 --> 00:04:51,031 This dress is beautiful! 226 00:04:51,031 --> 00:04:52,573 Oh, thank you. 227 00:04:52,573 --> 00:04:54,698 I found it in the trunk 228 00:04:52,573 --> 00:04:54,698 of a car I bought. 229 00:04:55,531 --> 00:04:56,865 Oh. 230 00:04:55,531 --> 00:04:56,865 One second, Mom. 231 00:04:56,865 --> 00:04:58,365 Oh, this is Cam texting. 232 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,365 The picture of the back 233 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,365 of someone's head 234 00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:02,698 and the words, 235 00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:02,698 "Is this her?" 236 00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:05,698 No idea what you are 237 00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:05,698 talking about. 238 00:05:05,698 --> 00:05:07,698 Kissy face. 239 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,740 Oh! 240 00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:11,865 Excuse me. 241 00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:11,865 Can we get a pic? 242 00:05:11,865 --> 00:05:13,031 Honey! 243 00:05:11,865 --> 00:05:13,031 - Oh. 244 00:05:13,031 --> 00:05:15,740 - Dad, that's sweet. 245 00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:16,906 Really? 246 00:05:16,906 --> 00:05:18,406 If we get separated, 247 00:05:16,906 --> 00:05:18,406 there's a record. 248 00:05:18,406 --> 00:05:19,406 Oh, God. 249 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,573 Hey, don't be mad. 250 00:05:20,573 --> 00:05:21,406 Are you kidding? 251 00:05:21,406 --> 00:05:22,573 She vanished, okay? 252 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,448 Those shoes she makes 253 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,448 are soundless. 254 00:05:24,448 --> 00:05:27,240 Oh, there you are! 255 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,740 Oh! Mwah! 256 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,573 - Okay. 257 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,573 - Oh, well, 258 00:05:30,573 --> 00:05:32,406 if it isn't my first family. 259 00:05:32,406 --> 00:05:33,906 What a surprise, huh? 260 00:05:33,906 --> 00:05:36,406 Yeah! 261 00:05:33,906 --> 00:05:36,406 I guess Brian invited me 262 00:05:36,406 --> 00:05:38,240 because of that summer 263 00:05:36,406 --> 00:05:38,240 we took him in. 264 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,406 Remember when I caught you 265 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,406 trying on Brian's underpants? 266 00:05:41,406 --> 00:05:44,073 No, what even ... 267 00:05:41,406 --> 00:05:44,073 Mom! 268 00:05:44,073 --> 00:05:45,781 Oh, is it just 269 00:05:44,073 --> 00:05:45,781 the four of us? 270 00:05:44,073 --> 00:05:45,781 Yeah! 271 00:05:45,781 --> 00:05:48,240 Yes, and where are you 272 00:05:45,781 --> 00:05:48,240 sitting, Mom? 273 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,573 I can walk you back 274 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,573 to your table. 275 00:05:49,573 --> 00:05:52,073 In a minute. 276 00:05:49,573 --> 00:05:52,073 I'd like to visit a little. 277 00:05:52,073 --> 00:05:54,240 I don't even know anyone 278 00:05:52,073 --> 00:05:54,240 at my table. 279 00:05:58,948 --> 00:05:59,948 Well, Gloria's not here. 280 00:05:59,948 --> 00:06:01,948 Oh, thank you, Jay. 281 00:06:01,948 --> 00:06:03,281 Here. 282 00:06:01,948 --> 00:06:03,281 Let me, uh... 283 00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:04,198 - Well, this is fun. 284 00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:04,198 - Mm-hmm. 285 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,823 - The band's back together. 286 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,823 - Yeah. 287 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,281 Would anyone care 288 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,281 for some champagne? 289 00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:08,615 - Oh, yeah. 290 00:06:07,281 --> 00:06:08,615 - I'd love some. 291 00:06:08,615 --> 00:06:10,615 - Oh, you bet. Yeah. 292 00:06:08,615 --> 00:06:10,615 - Thank you. 293 00:06:10,615 --> 00:06:11,781 I'll just take the tray. 294 00:06:16,698 --> 00:06:18,865 Admission has gotten tougher. 295 00:06:18,865 --> 00:06:21,531 Only about 4 out of 10 296 00:06:18,865 --> 00:06:21,531 applicants get accepted. 297 00:06:21,531 --> 00:06:22,698 Ugh. 298 00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:24,531 You've beaten worse odds 299 00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:24,531 than that. 300 00:06:24,531 --> 00:06:26,865 We forgot to get you vaccinated 301 00:06:24,531 --> 00:06:26,865 till you were 6. 302 00:06:26,865 --> 00:06:29,365 The university boasts 303 00:06:26,865 --> 00:06:29,365 many noted graduates ... 304 00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:31,531 research scientists, 305 00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:31,531 journalists, 306 00:06:31,531 --> 00:06:33,240 and one pretty well-known 307 00:06:31,531 --> 00:06:33,240 playwright. 308 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,198 Wow. 309 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,198 "Pretty well-known?" 310 00:06:35,198 --> 00:06:36,906 Imagine how many cookies 311 00:06:35,198 --> 00:06:36,906 they could have sold 312 00:06:36,906 --> 00:06:38,948 if they called them 313 00:06:36,906 --> 00:06:38,948 "Pretty Well-Known Amos's." 314 00:06:38,948 --> 00:06:39,948 Oh! 315 00:06:41,115 --> 00:06:42,740 I tied your 316 00:06:41,115 --> 00:06:42,740 shoelaces together. 317 00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:44,240 Mom, what's going on 318 00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:44,240 with you? 319 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,740 I am preparing you. 320 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:48,740 If you can't laugh at yourself, 321 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:48,740 then you'll become a target. 322 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:50,448 College crazy time, man! 323 00:06:51,906 --> 00:06:53,906 Excuse me, Steffi? 324 00:06:53,906 --> 00:06:55,240 My son Tim here developed 325 00:06:53,906 --> 00:06:55,240 a finance app 326 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,573 that caught the eye of 327 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,573 some folks at JP Morgan, 328 00:06:57,573 --> 00:06:59,906 so he'll need to keep that going 329 00:06:57,573 --> 00:06:59,906 along with school. 330 00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,073 No problem. 331 00:07:01,073 --> 00:07:02,948 Many students work 332 00:07:01,073 --> 00:07:02,948 while taking class. 333 00:07:02,948 --> 00:07:04,906 - Excuse me, Steffi? 334 00:07:02,948 --> 00:07:04,906 - What are you doing? 335 00:07:04,906 --> 00:07:07,740 My son Lucas here is a 336 00:07:04,906 --> 00:07:07,740 recognized amateur trampolinist. 337 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,240 Dad! 338 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,073 I'm assuming you guys 339 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,073 have a training facility 340 00:07:11,073 --> 00:07:15,573 so he can continue his pursuits 341 00:07:11,073 --> 00:07:15,573 in the applied bouncing arts? 342 00:07:15,573 --> 00:07:17,073 I'm not sure 343 00:07:15,573 --> 00:07:17,073 I'm understanding... 344 00:07:17,073 --> 00:07:17,906 You guys have 345 00:07:17,073 --> 00:07:17,906 a trampoline? 346 00:07:17,906 --> 00:07:20,115 I think there's a small one 347 00:07:17,906 --> 00:07:20,115 in the daycare center. 348 00:07:20,115 --> 00:07:21,990 There are no small 349 00:07:20,115 --> 00:07:21,990 trampolines, only ... 350 00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:23,156 You know what? 351 00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:23,156 We can move on. 352 00:07:23,156 --> 00:07:25,448 Everybody, this way! 353 00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:28,281 Just go ask her if she 354 00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:28,281 was at the recital, 355 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,490 and then tell her off 356 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,490 if she says yes. 357 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,115 No, I can't, 358 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,115 because if it's her, 359 00:07:31,115 --> 00:07:33,115 she'll sense confrontation 360 00:07:31,115 --> 00:07:33,115 coming and deny it. 361 00:07:33,115 --> 00:07:35,323 People can always tell 362 00:07:33,115 --> 00:07:35,323 when I'm in attack mode. 363 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:37,156 Mm, flared nostrils? 364 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:37,156 No. 365 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,948 - Vein in your forehead? 366 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:38,948 - Blotchy neck? 367 00:07:38,948 --> 00:07:40,490 No! You know what, 368 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,281 and just a head's up, you both 369 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,281 are turning into your mother. 370 00:07:43,281 --> 00:07:45,615 Okay. 371 00:07:43,281 --> 00:07:45,615 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. 372 00:07:45,615 --> 00:07:47,281 New plan. 373 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:49,115 What ... 374 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:49,115 What are you doing? 375 00:07:49,115 --> 00:07:51,656 Well, if there's video 376 00:07:49,115 --> 00:07:51,656 of Lily's recital on her iPad, 377 00:07:51,656 --> 00:07:52,948 then I know 378 00:07:51,656 --> 00:07:52,948 it's for sure her, 379 00:07:52,948 --> 00:07:54,323 and plus, I can 380 00:07:52,948 --> 00:07:54,323 e-mail it to myself 381 00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:55,615 and have a proper 382 00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:55,615 viewing party. 383 00:07:55,615 --> 00:07:57,448 Ooh, I've got a thing. 384 00:07:55,615 --> 00:07:57,448 Yeah, I'll probably 385 00:07:55,615 --> 00:07:57,448 be working. 386 00:07:57,448 --> 00:07:58,948 I haven't even 387 00:07:57,448 --> 00:07:58,948 set a date yet. 388 00:07:58,948 --> 00:08:00,031 Okay, there's a passcode. 389 00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:02,406 Well, of course there's 390 00:08:00,031 --> 00:08:02,406 a passcode. Give me that. 391 00:08:02,406 --> 00:08:04,990 All right, well, she ordered 392 00:08:02,406 --> 00:08:04,990 a powdered doughnut, so... 393 00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,156 All right. 394 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:07,823 Chalky fingerprints on the 8, 395 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:07,823 the 5, the 3, and the 1. 396 00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:09,656 Your passcode is some 397 00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:09,656 combination of those four. 398 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,823 Oh, my God. 399 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,823 You're brilliant. 400 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,823 Last year, I was doing 401 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,823 differential topography 402 00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:14,323 at Cal Tech, 403 00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:14,323 and now I sketch leaves 404 00:08:14,323 --> 00:08:16,656 in milk foam for adult 405 00:08:14,323 --> 00:08:16,656 skateboarders. 406 00:08:16,656 --> 00:08:18,156 I need something more. 407 00:08:18,156 --> 00:08:19,323 She's coming back. 408 00:08:18,156 --> 00:08:19,323 - What? 409 00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:21,990 She's coming back. 410 00:08:21,990 --> 00:08:24,656 Hey! 411 00:08:24,656 --> 00:08:26,823 I left my iPad on the table, 412 00:08:24,656 --> 00:08:26,823 and somebody took it. 413 00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,865 Oh, gosh! 414 00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,865 I didn't ... 415 00:08:28,865 --> 00:08:30,865 Didn't what? 416 00:08:28,865 --> 00:08:30,865 Do your job? 417 00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:32,823 It's not like you're so busy 418 00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:32,823 you don't have time to ... 419 00:08:32,823 --> 00:08:34,990 Excuse me. 420 00:08:32,823 --> 00:08:34,990 I couldn't help overhearing. 421 00:08:34,990 --> 00:08:37,490 Um, are you talking about 422 00:08:34,990 --> 00:08:37,490 that iPad in that bag there? 423 00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:39,990 - Oh, God. 424 00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:39,990 - 'Cause there's an iPad there. 425 00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,990 - What a ditz. 426 00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:44,031 Ugh, I guess I'm just nervous 427 00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:44,031 for this stupid blind date 428 00:08:44,031 --> 00:08:45,240 I never should 429 00:08:44,031 --> 00:08:45,240 have agreed to. 430 00:08:46,531 --> 00:08:47,865 Oh, no. 431 00:08:47,865 --> 00:08:49,531 You're not Richard, 432 00:08:47,865 --> 00:08:49,531 are you? 433 00:08:49,531 --> 00:08:52,698 Uh, yes. I-I am Richard. 434 00:08:49,531 --> 00:08:52,698 I'm your blind date. 435 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:53,865 You're, uh, Ana. 436 00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:56,198 Oh! 437 00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:56,198 Am I the worst person ever? 438 00:08:56,198 --> 00:08:58,031 Well, that's what we're 439 00:08:56,198 --> 00:08:58,031 here to find out. 440 00:08:58,031 --> 00:09:00,365 Kidding! 441 00:08:58,031 --> 00:09:00,365 Please sit! 442 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,281 I hope that is her. 443 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,281 She's gross. 444 00:09:02,281 --> 00:09:03,198 I want him 445 00:09:02,281 --> 00:09:03,198 to yell at her. 446 00:09:03,198 --> 00:09:05,031 - Yeah. 447 00:09:03,198 --> 00:09:05,031 - Excuse me. 448 00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:06,906 Um, I'm here 449 00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:06,906 for a blind date, 450 00:09:06,906 --> 00:09:08,573 and my friend didn't even 451 00:09:06,906 --> 00:09:08,573 give me a picture. 452 00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,031 I just know 453 00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,031 the woman's name. 454 00:09:10,031 --> 00:09:11,865 Any chance 455 00:09:10,031 --> 00:09:11,865 you served an Ana? 456 00:09:11,865 --> 00:09:15,198 Oh! 457 00:09:11,865 --> 00:09:15,198 Well, this is crazy. 458 00:09:15,198 --> 00:09:17,198 Ana, say hello to, uh... 459 00:09:17,198 --> 00:09:18,365 - Richard. 460 00:09:17,198 --> 00:09:18,365 - Yeah. 461 00:09:20,198 --> 00:09:21,365 Um, sorry, I don't mean 462 00:09:20,198 --> 00:09:21,365 to be forward, 463 00:09:21,365 --> 00:09:24,573 but Vanessa kind of undersold 464 00:09:21,365 --> 00:09:24,573 how attractive you are. 465 00:09:24,573 --> 00:09:27,240 Wowza. 466 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,906 The things I've done because 467 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,906 people tell me I'm pretty, 468 00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:31,740 you'd almost think 469 00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:31,740 I wasn't pretty. 470 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,573 So, 1986, 471 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,573 we were just coming back 472 00:09:35,573 --> 00:09:37,240 from my sister 473 00:09:35,573 --> 00:09:37,240 Bebe's wedding 474 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,406 when I first had my dream 475 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,406 about murdering you. 476 00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:42,448 No! 477 00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:42,448 Mitchell has a funny story 478 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:46,115 that doesn't open old wounds 479 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:46,115 about Cam at a dance recital. 480 00:09:46,115 --> 00:09:48,240 He got so mad, 481 00:09:46,115 --> 00:09:48,240 didn't he, Mitchell? 482 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,073 Tell them! 483 00:09:49,073 --> 00:09:50,781 So mad. 484 00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:53,073 That wasn't '86. 485 00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:53,073 That was '87. 486 00:09:53,073 --> 00:09:54,740 The reason we were late 487 00:09:53,073 --> 00:09:54,740 was because of that damn 488 00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:56,740 Hands Across America 489 00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:56,740 that you made me do. 490 00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:58,740 Hands was '86, 491 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,406 and you 492 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,406 thanked me afterwards 493 00:10:00,406 --> 00:10:02,406 because you got to hold hands 494 00:10:00,406 --> 00:10:02,406 with someone 495 00:10:02,406 --> 00:10:04,281 that was holding hands 496 00:10:02,406 --> 00:10:04,281 with Willie Nelson. 497 00:10:04,281 --> 00:10:06,323 What the hell was that whole 498 00:10:04,281 --> 00:10:06,323 thing about, anyway? Hunger? 499 00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:08,323 Hand somebody a sandwich 500 00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:08,323 in San Francisco 501 00:10:08,323 --> 00:10:09,656 and you pass it on 502 00:10:08,323 --> 00:10:09,656 down the line 503 00:10:09,656 --> 00:10:11,948 till some bum gets ahold of it 504 00:10:09,656 --> 00:10:11,948 in Boston? 505 00:10:11,948 --> 00:10:13,615 Hunger, yeah. 506 00:10:11,948 --> 00:10:13,615 Definitely. 507 00:10:13,615 --> 00:10:15,615 Um, Mitchell is on a diet, 508 00:10:13,615 --> 00:10:15,615 speaking of hunger. 509 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,656 What can you eat now? 510 00:10:16,656 --> 00:10:20,115 Uh... less. 511 00:10:20,115 --> 00:10:23,115 Sweetie, 512 00:10:20,115 --> 00:10:23,115 I see what you're doing, 513 00:10:23,115 --> 00:10:27,115 but this whole controlling 514 00:10:23,115 --> 00:10:27,115 thing ... It's challenging. 515 00:10:27,115 --> 00:10:28,115 Works good in the office, 516 00:10:28,115 --> 00:10:30,990 but sometimes she's as tight 517 00:10:28,115 --> 00:10:30,990 as a camel's ass in a sandstorm. 518 00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:32,615 Ooh, this seems aggressive. 519 00:10:32,615 --> 00:10:34,115 I'm just gonna ... 520 00:10:34,115 --> 00:10:36,156 May I be excused to go 521 00:10:34,115 --> 00:10:36,156 to the bathroom? 522 00:10:36,156 --> 00:10:38,781 Yeah. Me, too. 523 00:10:36,156 --> 00:10:38,781 Be right back. 524 00:10:40,615 --> 00:10:42,490 Hey! 525 00:10:40,615 --> 00:10:42,490 You do not get to do this. 526 00:10:42,490 --> 00:10:43,948 You do not get 527 00:10:42,490 --> 00:10:43,948 to shut down on me 528 00:10:43,948 --> 00:10:45,115 like you did 529 00:10:43,948 --> 00:10:45,115 when we were kids. 530 00:10:45,115 --> 00:10:47,323 I am not gonna sit here 531 00:10:45,115 --> 00:10:47,323 taking the heat 532 00:10:47,323 --> 00:10:49,990 while you go hide in your room 533 00:10:47,323 --> 00:10:49,990 blasting Pat Benatar. 534 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:51,531 Why are we even all 535 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:51,531 sitting together? 536 00:10:51,531 --> 00:10:53,323 This is my plan. You're gonna 537 00:10:51,531 --> 00:10:53,323 come up with a reason 538 00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,323 to take Mom back 539 00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,323 to her table. 540 00:10:55,323 --> 00:10:56,865 Maybe you want to unload 541 00:10:55,323 --> 00:10:56,865 some gay stuff 542 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:57,990 you don't want Dad 543 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:57,990 to hear? 544 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,490 You're lovely. 545 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:02,031 But my dream analyst 546 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:02,031 helped me realize 547 00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:04,323 that I never wanted 548 00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:04,323 to murder you. 549 00:11:04,323 --> 00:11:07,823 I wanted to murder the part 550 00:11:04,323 --> 00:11:07,823 of myself that was so angry. 551 00:11:07,823 --> 00:11:10,323 You were angry because I was 552 00:11:07,823 --> 00:11:10,323 an inconsiderate blow-hard. 553 00:11:10,323 --> 00:11:11,656 Oh, don't do that. 554 00:11:11,656 --> 00:11:14,656 We had plenty of good times, 555 00:11:11,656 --> 00:11:14,656 didn't we, Sarge? 556 00:11:14,656 --> 00:11:15,656 You bet we did, Pea. 557 00:11:15,656 --> 00:11:17,156 Oh! 558 00:11:18,323 --> 00:11:20,323 What fresh hell is this? 559 00:11:20,323 --> 00:11:24,156 We'll end our tour here 560 00:11:20,323 --> 00:11:24,156 at our iconic bell tower. 561 00:11:24,156 --> 00:11:25,656 See you all 562 00:11:24,156 --> 00:11:25,656 at tonight's mixer! 563 00:11:25,656 --> 00:11:28,156 Hey. Before we go back, 564 00:11:25,656 --> 00:11:28,156 you want to do something fun? 565 00:11:28,156 --> 00:11:30,698 Follow me. 566 00:11:30,698 --> 00:11:32,865 Check it out! 567 00:11:30,698 --> 00:11:32,865 - A bell? 568 00:11:32,865 --> 00:11:34,573 Not just a bell. 569 00:11:34,573 --> 00:11:37,031 A series of bells fed into 570 00:11:34,573 --> 00:11:37,031 an ingenious instrument 571 00:11:37,031 --> 00:11:39,031 known as a carillon. 572 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,198 I monkied around with one 573 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,198 back in the day. 574 00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:43,365 A cutie named Gretchen 575 00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:43,365 took me up to her belfry 576 00:11:43,365 --> 00:11:44,531 and showed me some moves, 577 00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:46,198 which I now realize 578 00:11:44,531 --> 00:11:46,198 sounds sexual. 579 00:11:46,198 --> 00:11:48,198 Not really. 580 00:11:46,198 --> 00:11:48,198 You talk like this a lot. 581 00:11:48,198 --> 00:11:50,031 The point is, 582 00:11:48,198 --> 00:11:50,031 Gretchen got a full ride 583 00:11:50,031 --> 00:11:52,198 treading bells like these. 584 00:11:50,031 --> 00:11:52,198 Wow, that's high. 585 00:11:52,198 --> 00:11:54,365 Maybe you could, too. 586 00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,198 Get you into a class on... 587 00:11:56,198 --> 00:11:59,531 What? I'm gonna learn all this 588 00:11:56,198 --> 00:11:59,531 in three months? 589 00:11:59,531 --> 00:12:00,698 You're a quick study! 590 00:12:00,698 --> 00:12:01,948 Look at how fast 591 00:12:00,698 --> 00:12:01,948 you learned magic. 592 00:12:01,948 --> 00:12:04,365 I got a home movie of you 593 00:12:01,948 --> 00:12:04,365 pulling an impossibly long chain 594 00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:05,865 of baby wipes 595 00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:05,865 out of your diaper. 596 00:12:05,865 --> 00:12:07,865 Okay, I was 5 in a diaper. 597 00:12:07,865 --> 00:12:09,406 That's not really a sign 598 00:12:07,865 --> 00:12:09,406 of a quick learner. 599 00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:12,740 I believe you can do anything 600 00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:12,740 you put your mind to. 601 00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:13,906 Why? 602 00:12:13,906 --> 00:12:15,615 Oh! Shoot! 603 00:12:15,615 --> 00:12:17,281 I guess it's all 604 00:12:15,615 --> 00:12:17,281 computerized now. 605 00:12:17,281 --> 00:12:18,615 Who cares? 606 00:12:18,615 --> 00:12:20,573 God, I hate it 607 00:12:18,615 --> 00:12:20,573 when you do this. 608 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,740 Do what? You look mad. 609 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,740 Are you mad? 610 00:12:27,406 --> 00:12:28,281 and I keep telling you, 611 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,573 but it's like 612 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,573 you're not hearing me! 613 00:12:29,573 --> 00:12:31,740 I'm not. 614 00:12:29,573 --> 00:12:31,740 Wait, don't talk yet. 615 00:12:34,073 --> 00:12:35,406 Go now, quick! 616 00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:36,740 Stop acting like 617 00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:36,740 I'm someone I'm not! 618 00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:38,406 Stop telling me how great I am 619 00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:38,406 when it's not true! 620 00:12:38,406 --> 00:12:39,906 Don't you see how much pressure 621 00:12:38,406 --> 00:12:39,906 that is? 622 00:12:39,906 --> 00:12:41,406 Luke, don't you 623 00:12:39,906 --> 00:12:41,406 walk away from ... 624 00:12:42,906 --> 00:12:43,781 me! 625 00:12:43,781 --> 00:12:45,781 I'm your ... 626 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,240 How are you 36? 627 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,948 I just can't get over 628 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,948 how young you look. 629 00:12:52,948 --> 00:12:54,948 The trick is to not smile 630 00:12:52,948 --> 00:12:54,948 too hard. 631 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,615 You're funny. 632 00:12:57,948 --> 00:12:59,990 I did not expect that 633 00:12:57,948 --> 00:12:59,990 from a seismologist. 634 00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:01,865 Which, by the way, 635 00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:01,865 how did you get into that? 636 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:05,781 Oh, um, it's just always 637 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:05,781 come easy for me. 638 00:13:05,781 --> 00:13:07,781 You know? 639 00:13:05,781 --> 00:13:07,781 I look at people 640 00:13:07,781 --> 00:13:09,281 and I just instinctively know 641 00:13:07,781 --> 00:13:09,281 their size. 642 00:13:09,281 --> 00:13:11,323 People are like, 643 00:13:09,281 --> 00:13:11,323 "Oh, I'm a 4," 644 00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,281 and I'm like, "Who you foolin', 645 00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,281 girl? You a 10." 646 00:13:13,281 --> 00:13:15,448 Ma'am, here is that napkin 647 00:13:13,281 --> 00:13:15,448 you asked for. 648 00:13:15,448 --> 00:13:17,115 Oh, thanks. Ha ha. 649 00:13:15,448 --> 00:13:17,115 Fooled you. 650 00:13:17,115 --> 00:13:19,156 I was just joking about 651 00:13:17,115 --> 00:13:19,156 clothing stuff. 652 00:13:19,156 --> 00:13:23,490 The real reason why I got 653 00:13:19,156 --> 00:13:23,490 into studying earthquakes 654 00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:25,948 is because I love nature. 655 00:13:25,948 --> 00:13:27,448 I guess that would explain the 656 00:13:25,948 --> 00:13:27,448 ornithology interest, too, huh? 657 00:13:29,448 --> 00:13:30,781 Miss, could 658 00:13:29,448 --> 00:13:30,781 I have another... 659 00:13:30,781 --> 00:13:32,781 Um, yeah, yeah, 660 00:13:30,781 --> 00:13:32,781 yeah, yeah. 661 00:13:32,781 --> 00:13:36,490 Angels have always 662 00:13:32,781 --> 00:13:36,490 been cool, 663 00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:40,323 but not as cool as birds! 664 00:13:40,323 --> 00:13:42,323 I love birds! 665 00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:43,531 I mean, 666 00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:43,531 I love my mother, I do, 667 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,698 but it's like her needs 668 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,698 come before everyone else's. 669 00:13:46,698 --> 00:13:47,865 You know 670 00:13:46,698 --> 00:13:47,865 that kind of person? 671 00:13:47,865 --> 00:13:49,656 I think I do, yeah. 672 00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:51,323 Wait, why was 673 00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:51,323 I talking about her? 674 00:13:51,323 --> 00:13:52,656 I don't know. 675 00:13:51,323 --> 00:13:52,656 The question was 676 00:13:52,656 --> 00:13:53,823 "What did you do 677 00:13:52,656 --> 00:13:53,823 last night?" 678 00:13:53,823 --> 00:13:55,156 And the question stands. 679 00:13:55,156 --> 00:13:56,656 Oh! 680 00:13:56,656 --> 00:13:58,656 Sorry. 681 00:13:59,823 --> 00:14:01,365 Ex-husband. 682 00:14:01,365 --> 00:14:03,323 Honestly, it's like 683 00:14:01,365 --> 00:14:03,323 he can't be with my son 684 00:14:03,323 --> 00:14:04,823 for more than three hours 685 00:14:04,823 --> 00:14:06,823 without texting me 686 00:14:04,823 --> 00:14:06,823 some inane question. 687 00:14:06,823 --> 00:14:08,490 Oh ... Oh, you have a son? 688 00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:12,490 Love of my life. 689 00:14:13,531 --> 00:14:16,198 He took the divorce 690 00:14:13,531 --> 00:14:16,198 pretty hard. 691 00:14:16,198 --> 00:14:19,198 He's... different, 692 00:14:16,198 --> 00:14:19,198 you know? 693 00:14:19,198 --> 00:14:22,740 He's really ... 694 00:14:19,198 --> 00:14:22,740 He's creative and sensitive, 695 00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:27,698 and he gets picked on 696 00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:27,698 a lot at school. 697 00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:30,698 You know, it's like, 698 00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:30,698 thank God for his dance class. 699 00:14:30,698 --> 00:14:33,198 I feel like 700 00:14:30,698 --> 00:14:33,198 it's the only place 701 00:14:33,198 --> 00:14:35,031 that I see, like, 702 00:14:33,198 --> 00:14:35,031 real joy on his face. 703 00:14:36,865 --> 00:14:38,906 I knew it. 704 00:14:36,865 --> 00:14:38,906 You're the worst! 705 00:14:38,906 --> 00:14:40,198 Excuse me? 706 00:14:40,198 --> 00:14:41,865 I'm not Richard, you fool. 707 00:14:41,865 --> 00:14:43,865 I'm the father 708 00:14:41,865 --> 00:14:43,865 you and your giant iPad 709 00:14:43,865 --> 00:14:46,073 robbed of his daughter's 710 00:14:43,865 --> 00:14:46,073 first ballet solo. 711 00:14:46,073 --> 00:14:47,865 I hope whatever reason 712 00:14:46,073 --> 00:14:47,865 you had 713 00:14:47,865 --> 00:14:51,240 to prioritize your child 714 00:14:47,865 --> 00:14:51,240 over mine was a good one, 715 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,031 and now that I hear it, 716 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,031 it's pretty close, 717 00:14:53,031 --> 00:14:55,531 I have to admit, 718 00:14:53,031 --> 00:14:55,531 but still. 719 00:14:55,531 --> 00:14:56,906 Wow! 720 00:14:56,906 --> 00:14:58,448 You're a maniac, 721 00:14:58,448 --> 00:15:00,073 but I'm grateful 722 00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:03,240 because this has been one of 723 00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:03,240 the most abysmal dates 724 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,740 I have ever been on. 725 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,740 Oh! 726 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,906 People think that cats 727 00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,906 are standoffish, 728 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,906 but my guy, 729 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,906 when I come home ... 730 00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:09,615 Okay, I've got to stop you 731 00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:09,615 right there. 732 00:15:09,615 --> 00:15:12,240 I'm not Ana, 733 00:15:09,615 --> 00:15:12,240 and this isn't happening. 734 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,740 I had a feeling. 735 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,406 Can I at least take a picture 736 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,406 with you 737 00:15:16,406 --> 00:15:18,073 so I can tell other women 738 00:15:16,406 --> 00:15:18,073 we dated? 739 00:15:18,073 --> 00:15:19,406 What? No! 740 00:15:19,406 --> 00:15:20,740 You're right. 741 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,406 It's just that 742 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,406 you're so pretty. 743 00:15:22,406 --> 00:15:25,448 All right, get in here. 744 00:15:25,448 --> 00:15:26,906 Ma'am? 745 00:15:26,906 --> 00:15:28,240 Manny, come on. 746 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,906 We're going to be late 747 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,906 for the mixer. 748 00:15:29,906 --> 00:15:31,948 Uh, excuse me, did I say 749 00:15:29,906 --> 00:15:31,948 your time-out was over? 750 00:15:31,948 --> 00:15:32,906 Back on the bed. 751 00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:35,240 I'm sorry, okay? 752 00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:35,240 No more pranks. 753 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,740 I promise. 754 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,781 I just wanted to have fun 755 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,781 with you. Geez! 756 00:15:41,281 --> 00:15:45,448 I forgot I did that one! 757 00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:46,948 Aye, Manny! 758 00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:46,948 Por favor! 759 00:15:46,948 --> 00:15:48,115 Get out. 760 00:15:46,948 --> 00:15:48,115 Get out! 761 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,115 Luke, we should talk 762 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,115 about this! 763 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,115 There's nothing 764 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,115 to talk about. 765 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,823 And you're not coming 766 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,823 to this stupid party. 767 00:15:51,823 --> 00:15:53,615 I'm going alone. 768 00:15:51,823 --> 00:15:53,615 - So am I. 769 00:15:54,615 --> 00:15:55,781 - Eh. 770 00:15:54,615 --> 00:15:55,781 - Wow. 771 00:15:55,781 --> 00:15:57,615 Like I want to take 772 00:15:55,781 --> 00:15:57,615 some stupid bell class 773 00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:59,615 so we can all find out there's 774 00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:59,615 one more thing I can't do. 775 00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:01,615 Oh, boo-hoo. 776 00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:01,615 Your dad believes in you. 777 00:16:01,615 --> 00:16:04,323 My mom's treating me like I'm 778 00:16:01,615 --> 00:16:04,323 on some Japanese game show. 779 00:16:04,323 --> 00:16:06,156 Fine! You win! 780 00:16:06,156 --> 00:16:08,615 You win worst parent, 781 00:16:06,156 --> 00:16:08,615 you win college. 782 00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:10,615 Hope you have fun here 783 00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:10,615 while I'm shoveling poo 784 00:16:10,615 --> 00:16:12,448 in some underground 785 00:16:10,615 --> 00:16:12,448 poo-shoveling place. 786 00:16:12,448 --> 00:16:13,448 Well, why'd you 787 00:16:12,448 --> 00:16:13,448 even come here 788 00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:14,781 if you're so sure 789 00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:14,781 you can't get in? 790 00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:15,656 I don't know. 791 00:16:15,656 --> 00:16:17,948 Maybe because this is the one 792 00:16:15,656 --> 00:16:17,948 place we might both get in. 793 00:16:17,948 --> 00:16:19,948 That might make this whole thing 794 00:16:17,948 --> 00:16:19,948 a little less scary! 795 00:16:19,948 --> 00:16:21,698 Well, that's the only reason 796 00:16:19,948 --> 00:16:21,698 I applied, too! 797 00:16:21,698 --> 00:16:23,156 Then why are we fighting? 798 00:16:21,698 --> 00:16:23,156 I don't know! 799 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,698 So, are we still going 800 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,698 to the party? 801 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,698 Yeah, I'll put on a hat! 802 00:16:27,865 --> 00:16:30,198 I just wanted Luke to feel good 803 00:16:27,865 --> 00:16:30,198 about himself, you know? 804 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,990 Cheer him on a little. 805 00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:35,031 Maybe there is such a thing 806 00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:35,031 as too much cheerleading. 807 00:16:35,031 --> 00:16:37,365 You tell him he can do anything, 808 00:16:35,031 --> 00:16:37,365 and when he can't, 809 00:16:37,365 --> 00:16:39,156 he feels like 810 00:16:37,365 --> 00:16:39,156 he's disappointing you. 811 00:16:39,156 --> 00:16:41,531 Luke knows I'd never be 812 00:16:39,156 --> 00:16:41,531 disappointed in him. 813 00:16:41,531 --> 00:16:43,323 Does he? 814 00:16:41,531 --> 00:16:43,323 Luke is very sweet, 815 00:16:43,323 --> 00:16:45,490 but he doesn't know 816 00:16:43,323 --> 00:16:45,490 a lot of things. 817 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:46,823 So I'm supposed 818 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:46,823 to pump him up, 819 00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:49,156 but not so much that he's afraid 820 00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:49,156 to let me down. 821 00:16:49,156 --> 00:16:50,823 It's ironic that I'm 822 00:16:49,156 --> 00:16:50,823 struggling with this 823 00:16:50,823 --> 00:16:53,198 since my greatest cheerleading 824 00:16:50,823 --> 00:16:53,198 move was threading the needle. 825 00:16:54,365 --> 00:16:56,323 It's when your seven cheermates 826 00:16:54,365 --> 00:16:56,323 make hoop arms ... 827 00:16:56,323 --> 00:16:58,323 I don't care. 828 00:16:58,323 --> 00:17:00,198 I just want Manny to learn 829 00:16:58,323 --> 00:17:00,198 how to take a joke. 830 00:17:00,198 --> 00:17:03,198 Yes, but there's a difference 831 00:17:00,198 --> 00:17:03,198 between a joke 832 00:17:03,198 --> 00:17:05,031 and yelling "Pervert!" 833 00:17:03,198 --> 00:17:05,031 before shoving him 834 00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:06,198 into the girls' 835 00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:06,198 locker room. 836 00:17:06,198 --> 00:17:07,531 Aye, please, 837 00:17:06,198 --> 00:17:07,531 that was funny. 838 00:17:07,531 --> 00:17:09,406 Besides, I was the one who broke 839 00:17:07,531 --> 00:17:09,406 a heel 840 00:17:09,406 --> 00:17:11,365 trying to keep 841 00:17:09,406 --> 00:17:11,365 the door shut. 842 00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:13,031 College is a big change. 843 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,031 I'm just trying to keep it 844 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,031 light for him. 845 00:17:15,031 --> 00:17:16,865 For him or for you? 846 00:17:16,865 --> 00:17:19,865 Okay. 847 00:17:19,865 --> 00:17:22,865 He's leaving me for the first 848 00:17:19,865 --> 00:17:22,865 time in his life. 849 00:17:22,865 --> 00:17:24,865 I've been married, 850 00:17:22,865 --> 00:17:24,865 I've been divorced, 851 00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:26,865 I've lived here, 852 00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:26,865 I've lived there. 853 00:17:26,865 --> 00:17:29,865 I drove a taxi, 854 00:17:26,865 --> 00:17:29,865 I won "Star Search." 855 00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:33,531 Through all the changes 856 00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:33,531 in my life, there was always us. 857 00:17:33,531 --> 00:17:35,531 Like partners. 858 00:17:35,531 --> 00:17:40,365 If I don't keep this light, 859 00:17:35,531 --> 00:17:40,365 I am going to be very sad. 860 00:17:40,365 --> 00:17:42,740 I know. It stinks. 861 00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,573 You just have to hope 862 00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,573 they get irritating enough 863 00:17:45,573 --> 00:17:47,573 by the end of the year that 864 00:17:45,573 --> 00:17:47,573 you're ready for them to go. 865 00:17:47,573 --> 00:17:50,906 Maybe I should give him 866 00:17:47,573 --> 00:17:50,906 his harmonica back. 867 00:17:50,906 --> 00:17:52,948 That's the spirit. 868 00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:55,615 Here, take my half steak. 869 00:17:55,615 --> 00:17:57,240 I'll take half your fish. 870 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,240 I got to trick my arteries 871 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,240 every once in a while, 872 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,240 keep them on their toes. 873 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,406 Well, I don't know what you're 874 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,406 doing, but you look great. 875 00:18:03,406 --> 00:18:04,615 And you look great, too. 876 00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:06,073 Oh, look, there's no line 877 00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:06,073 at the bar. 878 00:18:06,073 --> 00:18:08,240 How about a Rob Roy 879 00:18:06,073 --> 00:18:08,240 for old time's sake? 880 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,073 Oh, you remembered, Sarge. 881 00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:14,573 That was the only drink I could 882 00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:14,573 keep down when I was pregnant. 883 00:18:14,573 --> 00:18:16,781 Who are those people? 884 00:18:16,781 --> 00:18:19,406 You heard them. 885 00:18:16,781 --> 00:18:19,406 They're "Sarge" and "Pea." 886 00:18:19,406 --> 00:18:22,073 Two nicknames I have never heard 887 00:18:19,406 --> 00:18:22,073 in my entire life. 888 00:18:22,073 --> 00:18:23,906 This kindness, 889 00:18:22,073 --> 00:18:23,906 I don't trust it. 890 00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:26,948 I know, it's like a purple sky 891 00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:26,948 before a storm. 892 00:18:23,906 --> 00:18:26,948 Exactly. 893 00:18:26,948 --> 00:18:30,281 Beautiful until you realize 894 00:18:26,948 --> 00:18:30,281 the birds are agitated 895 00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:32,115 and ants are 896 00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:32,115 walking in circles. 897 00:18:32,115 --> 00:18:32,990 Actually, you know what? 898 00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:34,615 My ... My stomach's feeling 899 00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:34,615 a little weird. 900 00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:37,448 I think I'm gonna take a walk, 901 00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:37,448 get a little fresh air. 902 00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:39,490 Oh, no, you don't. You are not 903 00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:39,490 running away this time. No. 904 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:40,615 Let go, bossy! 905 00:18:40,615 --> 00:18:42,948 Sit down. We are gonna suffer 906 00:18:40,615 --> 00:18:42,948 like a family! 907 00:18:42,948 --> 00:18:44,781 No. Don't ... Don't stretch out 908 00:18:42,948 --> 00:18:44,781 my jacket! 909 00:18:44,781 --> 00:18:46,448 I just got back 910 00:18:44,781 --> 00:18:46,448 into slim fit! 911 00:18:49,115 --> 00:18:50,490 - Is everything all right? 912 00:18:49,115 --> 00:18:50,490 - Yeah. 913 00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:51,448 - He's fine. 914 00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:51,448 - I just ... 915 00:18:51,448 --> 00:18:53,156 Oh, no, of course. 916 00:18:51,448 --> 00:18:53,156 Yeah, go get that. 917 00:18:53,156 --> 00:18:54,448 What's going on? 918 00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:55,948 - Oh... 919 00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:55,948 - She pushed me. 920 00:18:55,948 --> 00:18:57,115 I didn't push him. 921 00:18:57,115 --> 00:18:58,615 He just, you know, 922 00:18:57,115 --> 00:18:58,615 slipped, fell. 923 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:01,115 Sit down, sit down. 924 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:01,115 You're causing a scene. 925 00:19:01,115 --> 00:19:02,656 It's very embarrassing. 926 00:19:02,656 --> 00:19:04,948 You have been quite rude today, 927 00:19:02,656 --> 00:19:04,948 young lady. 928 00:19:04,948 --> 00:19:06,281 General Patton over there. 929 00:19:06,281 --> 00:19:09,490 And this one is basically 930 00:19:06,281 --> 00:19:09,490 a cardboard cutout 931 00:19:09,490 --> 00:19:11,656 who occasionally sips wine 932 00:19:09,490 --> 00:19:11,656 and sighs. 933 00:19:11,656 --> 00:19:14,323 We did not raise you 934 00:19:11,656 --> 00:19:14,323 to act like this. 935 00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:16,865 - Oh, excuse me. 936 00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:16,865 - No, I-I got it. 937 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:20,531 No, in fact, you raised us 938 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:20,531 to act exactly like this, okay? 939 00:19:20,531 --> 00:19:22,490 You two are the ones 940 00:19:20,531 --> 00:19:22,490 that are acting crazy. 941 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:23,990 What are you 942 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:23,990 talking about? 943 00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:26,323 Who the hell 944 00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:26,323 are Sarge and Pea, 945 00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:28,156 and where were they 946 00:19:26,323 --> 00:19:28,156 when we were growing up? 947 00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:30,031 Yeah, maybe if those two people 948 00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:30,031 had raised us, 949 00:19:30,031 --> 00:19:31,698 there would have been room 950 00:19:30,031 --> 00:19:31,698 in our house 951 00:19:31,698 --> 00:19:33,156 for other people 952 00:19:31,698 --> 00:19:33,156 to have emotions 953 00:19:33,156 --> 00:19:36,323 and somebody wouldn't have had 954 00:19:33,156 --> 00:19:36,323 to shut himself down. 955 00:19:37,365 --> 00:19:39,490 And maybe somebody 956 00:19:37,365 --> 00:19:39,490 wouldn't be trying 957 00:19:39,490 --> 00:19:40,656 to control the whole world 958 00:19:40,656 --> 00:19:41,865 because she couldn't control 959 00:19:40,656 --> 00:19:41,865 the chaos 960 00:19:41,865 --> 00:19:43,156 in her own 961 00:19:41,865 --> 00:19:43,156 home growing up. 962 00:19:43,156 --> 00:19:44,198 Oh, come on. 963 00:19:44,198 --> 00:19:46,156 We all know that's 964 00:19:44,198 --> 00:19:46,156 what's wrong with her. 965 00:19:46,156 --> 00:19:47,823 - Oh, God. 966 00:19:46,156 --> 00:19:47,823 - So, come on. 967 00:19:47,823 --> 00:19:49,365 What do you have to say 968 00:19:47,823 --> 00:19:49,365 for yourselves? 969 00:19:49,365 --> 00:19:51,698 - Well, you're not wrong. 970 00:19:49,365 --> 00:19:51,698 - True. 971 00:19:51,698 --> 00:19:53,365 I'm ... I'm sorry. 972 00:19:51,698 --> 00:19:53,365 One more time. 973 00:19:51,698 --> 00:19:53,365 What? 974 00:19:53,365 --> 00:19:57,031 We didn't behave well 975 00:19:53,365 --> 00:19:57,031 when we were married, 976 00:19:57,031 --> 00:20:00,365 and I feel bad 977 00:19:57,031 --> 00:20:00,365 about that. 978 00:19:57,031 --> 00:20:00,365 Me, too. 979 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,698 We thought we were staying 980 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,698 together for you, 981 00:20:02,698 --> 00:20:05,031 but I don't know, 982 00:20:02,698 --> 00:20:05,031 maybe we'd forced you 983 00:20:05,031 --> 00:20:07,531 to live with two unhappy people 984 00:20:05,031 --> 00:20:07,531 for too long. 985 00:20:07,531 --> 00:20:09,698 But we're happy now. 986 00:20:09,698 --> 00:20:14,198 And that's probably why we're 987 00:20:09,698 --> 00:20:14,198 able to be our old selves today. 988 00:20:14,198 --> 00:20:15,740 We should have said this 989 00:20:14,198 --> 00:20:15,740 a long time ago, 990 00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:18,698 but we didn't give you the kind 991 00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:18,698 of home you deserved, 992 00:20:18,698 --> 00:20:21,198 and for that, we're sorry. 993 00:20:21,198 --> 00:20:22,573 Well, you ... 994 00:20:21,198 --> 00:20:22,573 I mean, there was ... 995 00:20:22,573 --> 00:20:23,740 There was 996 00:20:22,573 --> 00:20:23,740 happy times, too. 997 00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:25,573 Yeah, no, it wasn't 998 00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:25,573 all crazytown. 999 00:20:25,573 --> 00:20:26,698 It was ... 1000 00:20:25,573 --> 00:20:26,698 Yeah. 1001 00:20:28,198 --> 00:20:29,198 Listen. 1002 00:20:29,198 --> 00:20:30,531 We're good, right? 1003 00:20:29,198 --> 00:20:30,531 We can go? 1004 00:20:30,531 --> 00:20:32,406 Yes. Of course. 1005 00:20:30,531 --> 00:20:32,406 Go. 1006 00:20:34,073 --> 00:20:37,240 Wow. 1007 00:20:34,073 --> 00:20:37,240 How about that? 1008 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,115 An apology. 1009 00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:43,281 I don't think I ever thought 1010 00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:43,281 it would feel so good. 1011 00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,406 I do like 1012 00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,406 seeing them happy. 1013 00:20:47,406 --> 00:20:49,406 Yeah. 1014 00:20:49,406 --> 00:20:50,948 Ohh, you. 1015 00:20:50,948 --> 00:20:52,240 Shut up. 1016 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,406 I feel stuff. 1017 00:20:54,406 --> 00:20:56,406 I know. 1018 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,406 Son of a bitch! 1019 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,406 That is coconuts! 1020 00:21:08,406 --> 00:21:09,906 I remember you! 1021 00:21:16,448 --> 00:21:17,990 Do you miss spokesmodeling? 1022 00:21:17,990 --> 00:21:19,823 Aye, I do a boat show 1023 00:21:17,990 --> 00:21:19,823 every now and then. 1024 00:21:19,823 --> 00:21:21,615 That's how I keep 1025 00:21:19,823 --> 00:21:21,615 my hand in it. 1026 00:21:21,615 --> 00:21:22,948 Watch, watch. 1027 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,323 This is how 1028 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,323 I sealed the deal. 1029 00:21:28,781 --> 00:21:30,948 That's you again! 1030 00:21:34,281 --> 00:21:36,115 Captions by VITAC :